And now back to my regularly scheduled ranting and raging

 

As much as I am an out and about transgender person, I can go back to stealth mode if I need to do so.  Yet, I am upset because the Orange Snowflake won't be happy until the last one of us is gone from "HIS" America.

I try to keep my calm, as to give into anger, as it will distract me from staying calm in the face of danger. For example, I could rage at the world and accomplish nothing.  Or, I can do things such as participating in protest marches, notifying people when I see ICE come into my neighborhood, and do other non-violent things to foul up the snowflake's evil plans.  I choose resistance in the same way as followers of Martin Luther King Jr. did.  His henchmen are most afraid of being seen for what they are: Malignant Bullies who want to turn America into Nazi Germany.  (When was the last time you saw the snowflake cast a good light on anyone not an Aryan male?  Never.)

Tonight, I had a conversation with TCL.  When I said that I'm going for second citizenship (and associated passport) as a way to have an exit route if things go sour in the USA.  I said that if I am forced to leave the USA, I'll marry RQS and take her with me.  I'd be poor, but I'd be free.  TCL thinks that I'd be able to take my money with me.  I reminded her of the early days of the Nazi regime: They allowed Jews to leave, but they didn't allow the Jews to take their money with them as they left.  It's amazing that a woman with a history degree didn't know about that.  I guess that our collective memory about the Nazi era has faded too much for most Americans to recognize the scope and severity of today's dangers.

It's amazing that the mainstream news media isn't covering the violence being used by the snowflake's henchmen to terrorize people.  But then, these are people who thrive on "access" and are afraid to cooperate with each other to take down a threat to their industry.  The Fourth Estate was neutered by the Nazis, why doesn't it see that the same tactics are being used against it in America 90 years later?  Luckily, we still have independent news reporting on the internet, something which they don't yet know how to control.  (Russia and China have developed effective controls on their independent reporters, yet there are still some leaks - all wrapped in metaphors and coded language.  For example, don't talk about "Winnie the Pooh" in China, as that will get you in trouble for its connection to Chairman Xi.)  

Why am I still in America?  I still have hope that the authoritarian tide can be held back.  Yet, it feels more and more like a losing task every day, as people are giving up hope.  When/if I do, I'll be gone.

My paperwork is complete. Now to send it out.

 

I finally filled in the last form I needed to register a foreign birth and gain a second citizenship in a European country (which I will leave unnamed for now.)  There's a part of me that has been hesitant about doing this.  But, with all that's going on in GOP politics in this country, it pays to have the ability to go somewhere if this country turns into a fundamentalist "Christian" autocratic kleptocracy.

- - - - - -

My grandmother was born in Europe in 1903.  She came here when she was 17, and gave birth to my dad out of wedlock.  (Yes, I can affectionately call my dad a bastard.  But then, I never did so.)  30 years later, my mom gave birth to me.  Luckily, according to the laws of one country, the child of a citizen is automatically considered a citizen of that country.  Grandchildren must file to be recorded in the foreign births registry before they are considered citizens.  It's a shame that my brother didn't do this before his children were born. His children would have been able to inherit citizenship from him, and be able to be citizens of 2 countries.  (My niece is preparing to become a UK subject, but that's another story.)

It's strange for me to think of myself as a citizen of more than one country.  But then, it's strange to think that America's democracy may be dead by our 250th birthday.  As a transgender person, I worry what will happen if the wall between church and state no longer exists, and that people are allowed to proselytize in the workplace. No longer will we be able to be free to hold our own beliefs and practice them. We're already seeing signs that this is happening with some of the rule relaxations that the Orange Snowflake is proposing.  I am still not emotionally prepared to pull up stakes and move to another country to be safe from America's madness.

- - - - - -

Once I was done getting the application form notarized, I prepared everything to be mailed out in the morning.  And then, I decided to take a drive up to Goodwill to see if I could buy a cheap carry-on for the times I am out doing an overnight as Marian. (One carry-on for Marian, and one for Mario.)  The used clothing there looked in much better shape than the used luggage.  I guess that I'll have to order an inexpensive carry-on from Amazon for this purpose. 

This weekend, I will likely be in Marian mode when I go to RQS's place. I have a set of dresses there that I can wear, and I figure that I might as well be comfortable.  We'll be seeing one of her friends (who has seen me in both presentations), and I not sure of what we'll do after that.  At least, I'll be able to drive down to her place, and not try to find the bus to her place at its new starting point. 

 

 

 

 

PS: on August 6th, I received word from the Foreign Births Registry that my paperwork has been received.  Now to wait a few months before the next step in the process.  Hopefully, bu this time next year, I will be a citizen of two countries. 

I started repacking my bags for my Alaska cruise

 

 

As I write this, we are in the middle of a nasty heat wave in the NYC area.  The temperature peaked around 97 degrees in the shade, and I was very glad that I took the opportunity to stay inside and relax. This meant that I had no excuse not to work on repacking my luggage in preparation for our Alaska cruise.  Somehow, I still have to figure out how I'm going to bring my winter coat with me, even though I doubt I will need it.

- - - - - -

About a month ago, RQS and I were about to go on a New England / Canada cruise when we got an offer that we couldn't refuse: The cruise line would pay us (in refundable cruise credits) to take a different cruise (up to 10 days long) to the same region.  Instead of each of us paying $2000+ to take the cruise, we'd get a free cruise with the money we paid for the original cruise refunded to us (minus charges) once the replacement cruise ends.

We took Princess Cruises up on this offer 5 days before the cruise was to sail.  This left me with a packed 28" bag, a 20" carry-on bag, my backpack, and my CPAP machine - all ready to go on a summer 10-day cruise. Now, I had to repack, pulling out all but a couple of short sleeve shirts, replacing them with warmer garb. There was no way I was going to travel as Marian, given the current political climate.  Certain minorities are being rounded up (legal residents and non-legal residents), and ICE is treating many of them worse than we treated the Japanese-Americans sent to internment camps during World War 2.  Cruelty is a trademark of this authoritarian administration, and I don't want to be one of his victims trying to travel as Marian through any CBP checkpoints.  Luckily, it made much more sense for me to dress as Mario on the Alaska cruise, so much of the packing I did for the cruise we did not take made it easier for me to repack for this cruise. 

For the most part, repacking for Alaska is relatively simple.  Replace most summery gear with wintry gear and assume you'll have autumn weather often interrupted by rain  Even if we lived in "normal" times, I'd still be traveling in trouser-like garments in Marian mode (if I were full-time), as Alaska is a very informal place to visit.

- - - - - -

On other matters....

Right now, my brother's availability may be the weakest link in us getting the rental permit for the family homestead completed. Officially, someone has to inspect the place.  However, the place has already been through 2 inspections by the same fellow working for the town, and it will be up to my brother to take care of things.

Food for thought

 

The above picture of me was taken at Washington, DC's Kennedy Center.  It seems such a long while ago that I felt safe in visiting DC as Marian, and I don't plan on visiting there until the present regime is gone. But I'm wondering whether it is still safe t stay in "Civilized" areas of this country anymore, now that the Orange Snowflake is calling out the National Guard to suppress anti ICE ("La Migra") protests in Los Angeles, CA.

Our "Chief Executive"  believes that universal cruelty in oppressing his enemies, and that a disregard for law and order to feather the nests of him and his friends is OK.  He has no respect for women, people of color, as well as the LGBTIQ community.  He is a narcissist who has decided to imitate his authoritarian friends by holding a military parade in our nation's capital on his birthday.  

In a previous entry, I mentioned that the Catholic Church may be sending a message that it is time to send a message that people like the Snowflake are evil and must be resisted. But how?  As much as my heart wants to see violence used against the violent, this might not be the right approach when dealing with the Snowflake, as he will likely use even more violence against us.  So, what can be used against him?  Malicious compliance may be the best answer.  Bureaucracies exist for good reason. In addition to administrating public services provided by the government, they serve to subconsciously remember "lessons learned" from prior systemic failures, and help prevent them from happening again.  As the church provides for spiritual welfare, government bureaucracies provide for economic and social welfare.  Without some of the protections provided by today's governments' social programs, we would have likely seen our republic fall during the great depression of the 1930's.  Sadly, we are in a position where our nation will soon need to choose one of two paths to preserve a social order: (1) Authoritarianism, where a dominant group oppresses all others to maintain its power, or (2) Democratic Socialism, where the social leadership uses its economic power to deal with the needs of the less powerful, reducing the chance for a revolution like France had in the 1700's.

In short, our society has a simple choice: (1) Use violence to maintain an increasingly corrupt social and economic order, or (2) Use economic power to deal with the needs of the underprivileged to maintain the stability of society.  Citizens can help make it easier for our leaders to make the right choice by making our voices heard, and getting in the way of people who would choose wrongly. Demand accountability whenever possible.  Attend public forums.  Scream and shout, as squeaky wheels get the most grease. 

Years ago, Gandhi used non-violent methods to make it untenable for the United Kingdom to remain in India.  It is unlikely that America will ever develop something like the "Great Internet Firewall of China" to prevent Americans (and the world) from having access to the truth, and not just what the Snowflake wants us to hear.  We must use this tool as a weapon against authoritarianism while we can....

I am finally cruising again! (a short post)

 

By the time you read this, RQS and I will have returned from our most recent Bermuda cruise on the MSC Meraviglia.  We have been haunted by a curse on most of our Bermuda cruises so far.  On our first cruise, someone fell into RQS's leg, and she was crippled for several weeks.  Our next cruise had its scheduled Bermuda port time shortened by 2 days, leaving us with a single port day on a 7-day cruise. Finally, on our 3rd cruise, we had 3 port days in Bermuda - and in all of them we had good weather.  This time, the ship has propulsion issues which is forcing us to arrive earlier at the pier - who knows whether our time in Bermuda will be shortened or not.  I don't.

This time, I am much more ambivalent about cruising than usual, given political events in this country.  Hopefully, nothing unexpected will happen.  But if it does, I will report it here if possible.  I figure that this trip will be a form of current litmus trip on how Customs and Border control will treat an American who despises the snowflake.  I expect things may get worse over time, as we move towards being an autocracy. As long as I am able to transit out of and in to this country without hassle, I will remain here.  But if things change, I will use my Letter of Transit to leave for Lisbon as soon as practical and make a new life somewhere else if needed.

But back to Bermuda....

Even when the weather is bad there, I always felt good about being in Bermuda.  The place is clean and safe, and well worth visiting at least once.  Given that I will have no video access to left or right leaning American video media, I will be able to disconnect for a while. This will be a blessing for me.  I'll be sure to relax, and I'll be sure to unwind.

I wonder what it will be like when we take our New England / Canada cruise? 

 

 

 

PS: I will post daily entries from our 6-day cruise when I get back home. 

 

 

 

 

 

It's not just me. People are truly scared of the Orange Snowflake.

 

Tonight was the last Game Night before I go away on a cruise to Bermuda.  Finally, I had the chance to speak with the hostess about current events (she has a F2M trans child), and she is both scared and angry.

But first....

Today would be my last day out and about as Marian for the better part of a week and a half.  And I spent most of the day inside the apartment taking care of last minute things such as paying bills and throwing out some trash.  Around 5 pm, I started getting ready to go out.  I didn't want to get too fancy, so I took out a simple denim mini dress, as it was 80° outside when I was getting dressed.

As usual, I got to game night around 7:45, and was the only (trans) female at the table. The hostess was with her son at a Chess match, and wouldn't be back until 9:30.  So, it was 5 of us playing games in the kitchen until the hostess came home.  Once she arrived, I made the effort to engage her in conversation, and she noted that in less than 100 days, we have turned into a nation with is a cross between "the Handmaiden's Tale" and "1984".  We have gone from zero to 1935 in 3 months!  She noted that she is taking almost every trace of social media off of her phone, and keeping it bare bones, in case she crosses a border.  I noted that I have a burner phone, and I may bring it on my upcoming cruise.  And then, she noted the lack of privacy in smart watches, as they now can track a woman's ovulation cycles. These are scary times, and she could only talk so much before she got overwhelmed by her feelings and had to change the subject. Meeting her again made me think - as soon as I get back from the cruise, I'd better start back on the paperwork needed for a second citizenship.  I want my letter of transit while planes are still flying to Lisbon. (See "Casablanca" for its MacGuffin, the letters of transit.)  

Right now, we are seeing the early stages of authoritarianism take place in the United States.  The people close to the president were chosen not on their competency for their positions.  Instead, they were chosen ONLY for their loyalty to the president.  They defend the undefendable, only to stay in good stead with their leader.  Political, social and human rights are being destroyed to please their leader.  Legal non-citizen residents are being imprisoned and deported simply because they exercised a 1st amendment right to say things that make the current administration unhappy.  To make things worse, the president has hinted at throwing American citizens into the same gulags now being used to hold non-citizens.  Due process no longer exists, save when the judicial branch of government can get involved.  And even then, many in the system pledge their loyalty to the president and not to the law.

When will this stop?

The other night, I was watching part of a CNN piece on support for the Orange Snowflake in a rural area in the Midwest.  Although many were very unhappy with how his tariffs were affecting their businesses, they were not ready to abandon him.  "Let's give him a chance" one person said, as if his personal sacrifice would be rewarded in the long term.  The problem is that the "little people" are of no worth to the snowflake.  They are only tools to be used when he needs to exercise his power.  This wouldn't be so bad if the snowflake wasn't a malignant, narcissistic grifter.  It's so sad to see people get hoodwinked, then double down on being hoodwinked instead of seeing the snowflake for what he is - one of the greatest grifters of all time.

There is an old joke in the wine industry:

Q: How do you make $10,000,000 making wine?. 
A: Start with investing $50,000,000.

Well, the snowflake has made his millions by telling people to invest their $50,000,000, and leaving them with only $10,000,000 after he has squandered much of their money.  He doesn't want to acknowledge that his casinos in Atlantic City went bankrupt - a business which is usually a "license to print money".  Most of his other businesses have been scams that provide little (or no) value for money spent, such as Trump Water, Trump Steaks, and Trump University.  (The latter a known fraud which resulted in a $25,000,000 settlement to his victims.)  Both big and small investors have been scammed by this person, and now he's made the United States his final target.

What does the snowflake want?  First, I think he's motivated by extracting as much money as he can out of America, whether it is a series of sweetheart deals that have foreign governments pay him bribes in all but name (does anyone remember the Trump hotel in Washington, DC?), or whether it is by insider trading of anything valuable in the American economy.  Second, I think that he's looking to become an all-powerful dictator who can accept no challenge to his idea of current reality.  He's a man without principle, and will sell anyone and everyone out for short term gain.  He craves public recognition, something which was denied him in the hometown that despises him - New York.

How much am I concerned? 

Well, I will send in paperwork for my second citizenship and passport when I return from the cruise I am taking next week.  More importantly, I am worried about what border control will look for on my phone when I return from my short cruise, assuming I am targeted for things I have posted online.  Right now, I still have a presumption of "Due Process" as an American citizen.  But how long will that last?  More importantly, can it last with all of the people who have sold their souls to support him?

A more pleasant day, knowing that I'd be playing games tonight.

 

This is the way I wish my face could have looked when I was younger.  I'd have had a full head of hair, a female face, and a friendly, outgoing demeanor.  Instead, I grew up as a male, with all the repression of my authentic self that many transgender people have.

Given America's march towards an unchecked authoritarian regime, I needed something to cheer me up, as I wouldn't be able to present as Marian until next week.  Luckily, it was game night, and I made my trek to Yonkers for a fun night.  And tonight, both host and hostess were there for games, giving me to talk about their TG son after the games ended.

While there, I sent a link to one of our gamers (a leftist) for an article showing how close America is to having a "French Style" revolution.  I know he'll find that interesting when he gets the chance to read it. After the games were over, I had the chance to have a quick chat about the couple's TG son, finding out that almost everyone is trying to treat him with respect.  Something I didn't ask about, but got an answer I was glad to know, was that their son won't be getting any hormone treatments until he is 18.  I then mentioned that I felt they were doing the right thing, as he should be of legal age before making a permanent decision about his life and the body he will live in.

All too soon, it was time to leave.  It was pouring when I made it to my car.  So, I made my usual late night phone call to RQS (albeit, an hour early), while driving to Walmart for a second set of new bed linens. Now, I can alternate between sets on the bed and in the hamper.  I didn't have the time to get to the supermarket as planned, but this wasn't a real problem for me.  I can take care of that on my way back from Long Island this weekend.

April is no fool's joke this year!

 

Normally, I'd like to be pulling an April Fool's prank on my readers.  But this year, it's not a joking matter.  As I write this, the Orange Snowflake has openly stepped over the line, and attempted to take on powers not granted to his office by the constitution.  As of now, we are likely not a land where the rule of law checks and balances the power of a wanna-be authoritarian leader.

Why do I say this?

As I write this entry, the snowflake has claimed the power to revoke ALL of a prior president's pardons. The big question is: what will anyone be able to do about this?  He has already asserted that the right to protest against our government's policies is illegal for legally resident aliens, and may result in deportation.  Yes, I despise what this protester supports.  But he has a right to advocate for a cause if he is legally here.

The snowflake does not care about constitutional limits, as he has the same thirst for power that his authoritarian friends in Russia and North Korea have.  But has he noticed anything about their economies?  Neither is generating maximum wealth for the people or its leaders.  These regimes extract and consume wealth from an economy without generating enough new wealth to replace it.  These regimes will eventually self destruct.  Does the snowflake want to do that to America?

Do we have grounds for hope?

Strangely enough, we still have grounds for hope.  Although GOP leaders know that even MAGAs are against the extreme policies of this administration, they have not cracked under pressure.  But they will. They can't run away from their constituents forever, nor can they ignore the wishes of their big corporate donors.  Businesses do best during stable times, not when things are in flux.  Sadly, things are in a great state of flux today.

Hope can be found in ways to pressure the GOP leadership to change its tune.  Emails, written snail mail, and phone calls can be effective tools in getting one's voice heard.  One needs to know ALL email addresses, snail mail addresses, and phone numbers where one's complaints can be sent - and these people will eventually get the message.

The chilling thought for all authoritarian leaders is that the public can mount a successful revolt against tyranny.  There are more guns than people in America.  Most of these guns are in the "Red States".  And when MAGA people start seeing that the snowflake and GOP have betrayed them, watch out!  I expect that we run the risk of another "French Style" revolution which attacks the elite.  Hopefully, revolt will take place via the ballot box, and not with lead.  But as Fats Waller once said: "One never knows, do one."

A snowy weekend - and I left my car at home.

 

I had planned to be with RQS this weekend, but this put me at risk of getting fined by my co-op.  By the time I would get home, I expected to clear off 7" of snow from my car and possibly get dinged with a fine from my co-op.

- - - - - -

Friday started with laundry - 3 loads of it.  By the time I was packed, out the door, and on my way to RQS's place, it was 2-3 hours later than expected.  I didn't make it to RQS's place until 7:30 pm.  Luckily, she had already started to cook dinner when I left the subway and transferred to the bus to her house. The rest of the evening wasn't that exciting.  We fell into our usual routine and watched a couple of movies before felling asleep.

Saturday came, and with it, the exterminator.  Each month, the exterminator is scheduled to take care of RQS's building, and today was the day.  Once his visit was over, it was off to the library to drop off some books, and then to one of our go-to restaurants for a bite to eat.  They were about to close, so we decided to get this food to-go and eat it at home.

Around 7 pm, the snow started to fall and I knew we were in for the night.  Although we weren't planning on doing anything this evening, it made me feel a little worried - if I didn't get home early enough on Sunday, I could have some problems with my co-op.  As they say, "the die is cast", and I would deal with things after getting home.

Sunday came, and there was less snow on the ground than expected.  Even with this, I figured that I should leave RQS's place a bit early, so that I could shovel out my car in daylight and move it back into my assigned spot.  This way, the co-op has less of an opportunity to ding me for not getting my car into the street so that the driveways could be cleared.  I left RQS around 1 pm, and made it to Grand Central in the nick of time to make the 1:50 train to Croton.  By 3:00 pm, I was home, and had a chance to finish this post before shoveling some snow....

- - - - - -

On other matters....

It looks like the Orange Snowflake is trying to put the LGBTIQ community back in the closet.  (Not that we didn't know this already.)  We've seen him give executive orders to (fr now) make it impossible to get a gender marker changed on federal documents, as well as erasing any statistics that refer to LGBTIQ's from federal websites.  This is the first step among many in which he intends to hurt us.

Why do I mention this?

Stalin made sure that no statistics were kept for his reign of terror.  It is estimated that 28 million people lost their lives in the gulags while he was in power.  We may not be able to stop the Snowflake from deleting our history for now.  But we can throw a wrench into his plans in regard to another at risk group - the illegal immigrants.  How, you may ask?  Get congress to act by requiring that accurate statistics be kept.  The public has a right to know how much the Snowflake's removal efforts are costing, as well as being able to know how many illegals of each category are being removed.  The more data we have, the more tools we can have to force congress to act when the time is right.

Right now, GOP members of the house and senate are afraid of losing power.  What they don't know is by surrendering their chambers' powers to the Snowflake and the SA Nazi (Musk), they are surrendering their own power and won't get it back.  We've seen this happen before.  But now, we can take a different path of activism.  Lawsuits can be filed in friendly federal courts, and slow down the march to tyranny.  I suggest that everyone buy copies of On Tyranny, and How Democracies Die to understand what is going on, and how we can cause the Snowflake some grief.

Politics: Another term for many flesh eating insects.

 

Huey P. Long - Former Governor of Louisiana.

Huey Long was a one of a kind politician.  He was a populist dictator in many ways, and someone who pissed off many of the wrong people.  Although he championed the cause of the poor white man and believed in checking the power of the former elite who once ran his state's government, he amassed unchecked power in his own right and could only be stopped by a bullet from an assassin's gun.

Why is this important?

Long's family continued to dominate his state's politics long after his death, and represents the danger of vesting too much power in one person and in one person's family. Today, we have a choice between "Honest Politicians" (def: One who when bought, stays bought) and others who will abuse power once they have it and destroy our political system for their own gain.

Given that I am a member of the LGBTIQ community, I am very concerned about what will happen if Trump gets elected.  How many people do you know that can go bankrupt several times and be considered a successful politician by his cult members?  How many of my readers know that he made $300,000 by endorsing an edition of the bible - a book that he never has read and never will read.  Every decision he makes is short term in nature, and is done to refresh his bank account or to indulge his desire for absolute power.  His alliance with hard line Christian Fundamentalists puts my life at risk, as I don't want to go back to living life as in the gender which I was assigned at birth.  Although I could go stealth, I don't trust that my privacy will be respected in any regime where he is the leader - I would not be safe if our community is hunted down as Jews were in Nazi Germany.

Sadly, many of the "Never Trump" Republicans have sold their souls to keep being elected and having their hands greased by people wanting favors.  They fear Trump's cult.  Even though many hate him, they are afraid of being voted out of power.  So, they mouth support for this evil man and make him stronger.  These people have as much use to me as a lone star tick, as I don't like what wither species can do to me.

Luckily, we have a good chance of keeping our former president far from the White House, now that Kamala Harris is the Democratic Presidential nominee.  The Democratic party is far from perfect - it wants to protect illegal aliens already in this country instead of shipping them back to their homelands. Yet, it does want to make sure that all asylum seekers get their day in court without having to wait for years due to an underfunded court system - a more humane way of dealing with part of the problem. We have a choice between humanity and inhumanity.  I'm choosing to err on the side of humanity.  How about you?

The older I get, the more I know when to get worried or not.

 

There is one big advantage to being young: The invincibility that one often feels propels us to take chances in life that older and wiser people might not take.  For example, when young, we often choose our mates on superficial characteristics.  For example: Is s/he good looking?  This question may have evolved as a way to determine the health characteristics of a person during the age that they are most fertile.  It also can reflect how high a status level a mate might have (especially in males), as both attractiveness and height can reflect both physical health and social position. 

But what questions should we ask as we get older?  What advantages do we have because we have successfully made it to old age?  This is where I feel that I have gotten better as I've gotten older.  Yes, my body is slowly breaking down as a normal part of aging.  But the memories and skills I've developed over those years have given me the insights to ask better questions when choosing a mate.

Lately, I've been thinking about how many big mistakes I've made in my life.  Some of these mistakes occurred because I didn't have enough knowledge to make wise decisions.  Others were made because I didn't have the skills to implement those wise decisions.  When I was young, I had low expectations - if the woman I dated accepted me and we didn't kill each other, then she was acceptable.  Can I say that I'd have married my late wife had I known what would happen in the future?  Maybe not.  But would she have chosen me had she known what would occur in our marriage?  Again, maybe not.  I could say similar things about other women I've dated.  But with RQS, both of us knew what we were getting early on in our relationship, and we have similar values with complimentary communication styles.  This makes having a healthy relationship possible, and we have yet to shout "Tastes Great!" or "Less Filling!" at each other..

Many men look for "a nurse and a purse" when they look for a woman in their senior years.  Women also look for the same, with emphasis on the purse due to inequality of wealth between the genders.  Neither of us wanted that.  We simply wanted companionship, with a little romance on the side.  RQS knew I was transgender from our second date, and I knew about her issues the day I met her.  We feel good when we're together, and I'm glad that she brings up issues for me to handle before they have the chance to fester and cause us problems.

I'm hoping that we'll be able to take advantage of the benefits of being old before the drawbacks cripple us and make it impossible for us to enjoy the rest of our lives.  After my mom died, my dad became less active over the years, and eventually not able to live on his own.  Neither RQS nor I want to have old age take away our abilities to live life without being in a care home.  The care home may be in our futures.  But until then, we will try to live as best we can.  (Albeit with me in dresses most of the time.)

- - - - - -

But what do I worry about?

Lately, I find myself worrying about the possibility that the United States will become a fundamentalist "Christian" autocracy led by a bombastic narcissistic grifter.  It's bad enough that this person is a cult leader.  Unfortunately, we have seen the mess he made of this country in his 4 years in power.  Now, he has had 4 years to learn how to cement his control over the country, I'm afraid of what he will do to anyone who is not a white, straight, christian, cisgender male.  As it stands GOP loyalists have turned the clock back to 1973.  I'm afraid that it will turn the clock back to 1925.  

If we examine the events that occurred to end the "Roaring Twenties", American society changed from being an optimistic, outward looking people to a pessimistic, inward looking people within a few years.  What will happen if the GOP gets full control of the country again?  Will they screw things up as they did in the 1920's?  Will America become more like Nazi Germany than the USA under the New Deal?  Who knows?  But this is what I worry about at night....