By now, the election results will be in.

 

By now, we will know the results of election day.  Will the Democrats have gained control of Congress? Or, has the GOP manipulated things, so that they were able to override the results of a fair election?  Who knows, but I expect that our president and his loyalists will do what they can to avoid being held accountable to both the people and to the law in 2027 and beyond.  In short, I expect the GOP to cheat as much as possible.

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As I write this, it's 2 weeks before election day, and I'm waiting until the end of the week to hand in my early vote  I don't trust our post office to faithfully deliver ballots to the polling centers.  Right now, I don't feel that anything connected with our Federal government is worth any trust.  I feel lucky that my Passport and Global Entry card (Trusted Traveler Number for Domestic Air Travel) were both renewed in a little under 2 1/2 weeks.  Given this administration's hatred of transgender folk, and its hatred of people who oppose their crimes, I had wondered if I might get caught up in one of their sweeps.

I have to admit that I live in a leftist media bubble.  But I don't think that I'd be lone - even in the heart of MAGAland.  Even the "Red States" are getting tired of our president's insane actions.  But I don't count on enough of these people to stand up and protect our democratic republic.  All too many of them still follow an authoritarian cull leader.

Based on my last contact with the Foreign births Registry, my updated application should be processed by March.  Once that is taken care of, it'll be time for me to file for a second passport - this time, with the nation of my paternal ancestors.  When I traveled there in the past, I felt like a foreigner in the land of my ancestors.  Yet, it could be a second home to me if needed.

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However, I don't intend to dwell on the troubled situation in the USA right now.  We'll likely see troublemakers and agitators claiming that the elections were fraudulent.  I'm just hoping that enough sane people are able to keep things under control and checkmate our Orange Monster for good.... 

 

Sometimes, it pays to be a guinea pig

 

A week or two ago, my dentist made an offer to "the 1st 10 people to reply" to get a free CT scan of their jaw for use in a future dental implant.  Well, after 12+ years of procrastinating for financial reasons, I decided to take advantage of this offer while I'm still flush enough to afford an implant I've put off for way too long.

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This morning, I left RQS's place a bit earlier than usual, so that I could make it home and  change into Marian Mode before the dental visit.  It was a good thing I did so - all 3 East River bridges from Queens to the Bronx were bollixed up due to construction work on the bridges.  This was the worst I've ever seen traffic going to any of these bridges, as all were backed up for miles before even reaching the bridges.  And, even by bailing onto local streets to reach the 3rd bridge (the Triboro, aka: RFK bridge), I decided to suffer with the lesser of these evils and put up with the traffic jam until I reached the Bronx.

Once across the river, it was easy sailing, and I reached home 45 minutes later than planned.  This was enough time for me to change into Marian Mode, and take care of a problem arising from Amazon's mis-delivery of a package at 4 am.  (It's now scheduled for tomorrow at the same time - AARGH!)

At 3 pm, I went to the dental office, and everyone was addressing me with the correct pronouns, and the non-gendered version of my name was on the screen.  A rep from the CT scan company was teaching the dental staff how to use the new device, and I was the most cooperative guinea pig they could have.  Within 10 minutes of sitting down, and being moved around so that the scan could encircle my head, I was out the door.  I probably saved somewhere between $250 and $500 by being a guinea pig.  But now, I have to commit to the implant - and I'm glad I'm doing so.

Soon, I'll have a tooth that replaces a molar, and I could chew normally in the near future. 

I feel like a stuffed goose! (a short post)

 

This was a weekend spent as Mario.  But I had good reason - two dinners which required Mario's presence.  The first was with my brother, and the other was with RQS's cousin, daughter, and granddaughter.  There would be a lot of food on the menu, and not enough time to digest it all.

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Saturday came, and my brother was supposed to pick us up around 4 pm.  From RQS's place, we would then drive to the Rockaways and dine at an Italian restaurant I had seen in an online ad years ago.  Rocco's is just off a main drag, around the corner from a subway station.  Yet, it's a pain in the ass for us to get to without a car.  So, we only have gone there when my brother drives us.

This would be the last time we'd be able to eat and charge it to our business, as the house was sold in August.  But we made the most of it.  The food was yummy, and we were quite full when we left the place. It's too bad that we didn't order the Cannoli to go, as we were craving a sweet dish later in the evening.

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Sunday was our day to meet up with RQS's cousin (and her family).  We took the subway into Manhattan and got to the restaurant on time.  However, her cousin was late.  But that was OK.  The Dim Sum house wasn't busy when we were seated, but was very busy by the time we had finished eating.  Our conversations flowed like water, and we all wished we had more time.

RQS's cousin is allergic to shellfish.  So, I made sure that everything we ordered had no trace of shellfish in its making.  For example, there would not be any "Beef with Oyster Sauce" type dishes.  And, we had to ask the waitress to help us insure that there was no seafood related ingredients in the dishes.  Yet, I still had concerns when the Wonton Soup was delivered - there was a piece of seaweed as a garnish.  RQS's cousin said this was not a problem, and we had a tasty and filling meal acceptable to all.

Sadly, we all had to go home two hours later.  RQS's cousin went back to her hotel, while RQS and I went back to Queens.  Hopefully, I didn't gain too much weight over the weekend.... 

Choosing to take a last minute cruise

 

Last night, I broke the news to RQS that I wanted to treat her to a cruise.  Although I found a 12-day cruise that would take us to "the islands" at a reasonable price, I found a different cruise with a different cruise line that would give us most of the same benefits at the first - but at a lower price for the things we'd actually use.

Unlike a lot of our cruises, this one would be done "on the cheap."  We'd be booking a "Guaranteed" cabin (read: any cabin meeting the fare class or better), no alcohol package, and streaming wi-fi.  For a similar 11-day cruise the price is right, and it is a gift I can give to myself and to RQS for the holiday season. We'd be going to the same islands we went to on our last 12-day cruise to the Caribbean, and we'd finally have a chance to take a shore excursion on one island that we skipped on our last cruise with this line.

Assuming I book this cruise tomorrow, it will be the 4th cruise we'll take this year.  Yet, we only have 1 cruise scheduled for next year.  I'll have to do something about that.  There are so many places where I'd like to cruise, but haven't had the time or money to do so.

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What is cruising to me?  For the most part, it's a vacation where all one has to do is show up.  Virtually everything is curated for the cruiser.  On some lines, one takes a cruise to join in a series of onboard parties.  On others, it is to have a quiet place to escape from the world.  For me, it's checking in at a hotel that travels from port to port and provides food and entertainment for the time I'm there.

Being retired, one can ask: What's the difference between being home and relaxing, and being on a ship and relaxing?  The answer is in the effort in doing so.  I have to cook all my meals, change all my sheets, and perform my own housekeeping while at home.  I don't have to do this while cruising.  It's a nice way to live for a week or two, but one that costs several thousand dollars to do so.

I hope to do a lot more cruising over the next few years.  And I hope to have RQS with me as I do so. 

I hate getting old, but it's better than the alternative

 

As I write this, it's a little more than two weeks before Halloween.  And this is the one day that it always makes sense for me to present as a male.  AARGH!!!  But it makes a lot of sense, given that there are a lot of cross-dressers out there who only go outside when being "in costume" - and what TG person wants to be mis-gendered by people thinking you are wearing a costume?

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While I've gotten older, I've lived through a lot of "been there, done that" experiences that often repeat themselves.  Doctors' visits, Dental visits, License Renewals, etc. have all become repeating experiences.  Days seem to blend into each other, as many of the things I do tend not to be novel.  And that's why I force myself to get out and travel, trying to get in at least one bucket list trip each year. Yet, I'm always a little bit ambivalent about trying new things and going to new places.  Go figure.

Yesterday, I chatted with MSJ about grief and loss.  Today, I had a similar conversation with my brother in regard to the loss of intimacy.  He still doesn't seem to understand a lot of things, as his situation cannot come to closure until his wife has passed away.  He cannot grieve.  Yet, he suffers because he no longer can be intimate with anyone (and no, I'm not talking about sex, though that's part of the equation.)  He has friends, but friendships can only go so far.

It is normal as people get old to lose friends and lovers.  I've already lost a wife.  Two of my ex-lovers have already passed away.  Some of my friends have vanished from the scene, and I expect that at least one of these friends died last year.  Other friends have faded away, as we grew apart over the years.  This is normal for people who have reached senior citizenship.  And eventually, I will be gone from the scene.  It's the part of life we grow to accept, but never like.

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Strangely enough, I feel freer and happier than when I was young.  I always wished I could be the woman in a ball gown dancing in one of those old time movies.  But the gender I was assigned at birth wouldn't allow that.  It was not acceptable for me to wear a dress.  Now, I can present as the female I would have preferred to be born as, and wear the clothing which was denied to me in my youth.  Unlike the belief held by one woman I dated, it is not the idea of having sex that is important.  It is the other parts of being a woman that are important, having a wider range of intimate and supportive relationships - something males are not allowed to have in our culture.  Although I can live with the "plumbing" I've had from birth, I could be just as happy (if not more so), if I had the "plumbing" appropriate for a female.

MSJ said that I've had the best of both worlds.  She doesn't understand that being a male or a female includes a wide range of experiences, with a reasonable subset of them to be fully experienced to be truly male or female.  As a transgender person, I cannot experience many of the inconveniences of being female, and can only have an intellectual appreciation of a subset of cisgender female experiences that a transgender female can't have.  

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Well, I could go on and on.  But I need to cook dinner....     

Lunch with MSJ, and a useless drive to New Jersey

 

The above was not today's lunch.  Something like this would mean eating indoors.  And on the last warm day of the season, MSJ and I decided to eat under the gazebo in a nearby park.

But first....

I woke up around 9 am, and proceeded to plant myself in front of my computer taking care of completing a blog entry, then starting on the meeting minutes for the co-op board meeting.  By noon, I had to shift gears, so that I could meet MSJ by 1 pm.  So, I rushed to the shower, quickly applied my makeup, then put on one of the last summer dresses I had in my closet before rushing to the deli for a sandwich.  Only then could I go to meet MSJ, albeit several minutes later than planned.

Even though I did my fair share of talking, MSJ's needs dominated the conversation.  She soon will travel upstate to pick her son up from college.  But this means leaving her disabled husband alone with her other son.  What bothers her is that the demands of her life do not allow her to recharge her emotional batteries.  I said that if we lived in a different universe (if I were a cisgender female or post-op transgender female, and we both were unattached), I'd be taking her somewhere on a "Girls Trip".  I then noted that she has the worst of many worlds.  If her husband died, she'd have had a period of grief, and then found ways to move forward with life.  But, she has to keep taking care of him as well as taking care of her sons, not being able to nurture herself.

Once we were done with lunch, I decided to drive to Lane Bryant in Paramus.  One problem - they had closed this store.  Since there was no way I was going to drive to Clifton, I decided to take the long road back home via Bear Mountain.  (Too bad that RQS was not with me - the leaves are just starting to change.)  It was a nice drive home, and I was in for the night.  

Ending a long weekend and starting a short week (A short post)

 

It's Tuesday, and RQS finally had to go home.  She had her usual Tuesday routine to take care of, and I had lunch with DS on the schedule.  It could be a busy day or a relaxed day, all depending on what I planned to do with it.

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RQS and I got up early for us, and I dropped her off at the station at 10:30. But I had time to kill, as DS and I weren't scheduled to eat until 12:30.  So, I drove to Walmart to replace a pair of broken sunglasses. This killed enough time.  Once I got to Yonkers, I would not wait long.  So  off to Yonkers I drove.

I had never stopped in this area of Yonkers before - it was a safe area, but a confusing trip on local streets once off the parkway.  Several minutes after I arrived, DS arrived, and we placed our orders.  Since I've been having way too much Chicken lately, I ordered a Cheeseburger - and it was yummy,  We were there for 2 1/2 hours, and then it was time to leave.  

My next stop was at Lidl, a quick run to pick up some more vanilla nougats.  And then it was home for the night.  My legs were hurting, so I couldn't do laundry.  Even if I wanted to do so, I couldn't, as they were refinishing the laundry room floors.  So I was finally in for the night.