I feel like a stuffed goose! (a short post)

 

This was a weekend spent as Mario.  But I had good reason - two dinners which required Mario's presence.  The first was with my brother, and the other was with RQS's cousin, daughter, and granddaughter.  There would be a lot of food on the menu, and not enough time to digest it all.

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Saturday came, and my brother was supposed to pick us up around 4 pm.  From RQS's place, we would then drive to the Rockaways and dine at an Italian restaurant I had seen in an online ad years ago.  Rocco's is just off a main drag, around the corner from a subway station.  Yet, it's a pain in the ass for us to get to without a car.  So, we only have gone there when my brother drives us.

This would be the last time we'd be able to eat and charge it to our business, as the house was sold in August.  But we made the most of it.  The food was yummy, and we were quite full when we left the place. It's too bad that we didn't order the Cannoli to go, as we were craving a sweet dish later in the evening.

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Sunday was our day to meet up with RQS's cousin (and her family).  We took the subway into Manhattan and got to the restaurant on time.  However, her cousin was late.  But that was OK.  The Dim Sum house wasn't busy when we were seated, but was very busy by the time we had finished eating.  Our conversations flowed like water, and we all wished we had more time.

RQS's cousin is allergic to shellfish.  So, I made sure that everything we ordered had no trace of shellfish in its making.  For example, there would not be any "Beef with Oyster Sauce" type dishes.  And, we had to ask the waitress to help us insure that there was no seafood related ingredients in the dishes.  Yet, I still had concerns when the Wonton Soup was delivered - there was a piece of seaweed as a garnish.  RQS's cousin said this was not a problem, and we had a tasty and filling meal acceptable to all.

Sadly, we all had to go home two hours later.  RQS's cousin went back to her hotel, while RQS and I went back to Queens.  Hopefully, I didn't gain too much weight over the weekend.... 

Choosing to take a last minute cruise

 

Last night, I broke the news to RQS that I wanted to treat her to a cruise.  Although I found a 12-day cruise that would take us to "the islands" at a reasonable price, I found a different cruise with a different cruise line that would give us most of the same benefits at the first - but at a lower price for the things we'd actually use.

Unlike a lot of our cruises, this one would be done "on the cheap."  We'd be booking a "Guaranteed" cabin (read: any cabin meeting the fare class or better), no alcohol package, and streaming wi-fi.  For a similar 11-day cruise the price is right, and it is a gift I can give to myself and to RQS for the holiday season. We'd be going to the same islands we went to on our last 12-day cruise to the Caribbean, and we'd finally have a chance to take a shore excursion on one island that we skipped on our last cruise with this line.

Assuming I book this cruise tomorrow, it will be the 4th cruise we'll take this year.  Yet, we only have 1 cruise scheduled for next year.  I'll have to do something about that.  There are so many places where I'd like to cruise, but haven't had the time or money to do so.

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What is cruising to me?  For the most part, it's a vacation where all one has to do is show up.  Virtually everything is curated for the cruiser.  On some lines, one takes a cruise to join in a series of onboard parties.  On others, it is to have a quiet place to escape from the world.  For me, it's checking in at a hotel that travels from port to port and provides food and entertainment for the time I'm there.

Being retired, one can ask: What's the difference between being home and relaxing, and being on a ship and relaxing?  The answer is in the effort in doing so.  I have to cook all my meals, change all my sheets, and perform my own housekeeping while at home.  I don't have to do this while cruising.  It's a nice way to live for a week or two, but one that costs several thousand dollars to do so.

I hope to do a lot more cruising over the next few years.  And I hope to have RQS with me as I do so. 

I hate getting old, but it's better than the alternative

 

As I write this, it's a little more than two weeks before Halloween.  And this is the one day that it always makes sense for me to present as a male.  AARGH!!!  But it makes a lot of sense, given that there are a lot of cross-dressers out there who only go outside when being "in costume" - and what TG person wants to be mis-gendered by people thinking you are wearing a costume?

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While I've gotten older, I've lived through a lot of "been there, done that" experiences that often repeat themselves.  Doctors' visits, Dental visits, License Renewals, etc. have all become repeating experiences.  Days seem to blend into each other, as many of the things I do tend not to be novel.  And that's why I force myself to get out and travel, trying to get in at least one bucket list trip each year. Yet, I'm always a little bit ambivalent about trying new things and going to new places.  Go figure.

Yesterday, I chatted with MSJ about grief and loss.  Today, I had a similar conversation with my brother in regard to the loss of intimacy.  He still doesn't seem to understand a lot of things, as his situation cannot come to closure until his wife has passed away.  He cannot grieve.  Yet, he suffers because he no longer can be intimate with anyone (and no, I'm not talking about sex, though that's part of the equation.)  He has friends, but friendships can only go so far.

It is normal as people get old to lose friends and lovers.  I've already lost a wife.  Two of my ex-lovers have already passed away.  Some of my friends have vanished from the scene, and I expect that at least one of these friends died last year.  Other friends have faded away, as we grew apart over the years.  This is normal for people who have reached senior citizenship.  And eventually, I will be gone from the scene.  It's the part of life we grow to accept, but never like.

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Strangely enough, I feel freer and happier than when I was young.  I always wished I could be the woman in a ball gown dancing in one of those old time movies.  But the gender I was assigned at birth wouldn't allow that.  It was not acceptable for me to wear a dress.  Now, I can present as the female I would have preferred to be born as, and wear the clothing which was denied to me in my youth.  Unlike the belief held by one woman I dated, it is not the idea of having sex that is important.  It is the other parts of being a woman that are important, having a wider range of intimate and supportive relationships - something males are not allowed to have in our culture.  Although I can live with the "plumbing" I've had from birth, I could be just as happy (if not more so), if I had the "plumbing" appropriate for a female.

MSJ said that I've had the best of both worlds.  She doesn't understand that being a male or a female includes a wide range of experiences, with a reasonable subset of them to be fully experienced to be truly male or female.  As a transgender person, I cannot experience many of the inconveniences of being female, and can only have an intellectual appreciation of a subset of cisgender female experiences that a transgender female can't have.  

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Well, I could go on and on.  But I need to cook dinner....     

Lunch with MSJ, and a useless drive to New Jersey

 

The above was not today's lunch.  Something like this would mean eating indoors.  And on the last warm day of the season, MSJ and I decided to eat under the gazebo in a nearby park.

But first....

I woke up around 9 am, and proceeded to plant myself in front of my computer taking care of completing a blog entry, then starting on the meeting minutes for the co-op board meeting.  By noon, I had to shift gears, so that I could meet MSJ by 1 pm.  So, I rushed to the shower, quickly applied my makeup, then put on one of the last summer dresses I had in my closet before rushing to the deli for a sandwich.  Only then could I go to meet MSJ, albeit several minutes later than planned.

Even though I did my fair share of talking, MSJ's needs dominated the conversation.  She soon will travel upstate to pick her son up from college.  But this means leaving her disabled husband alone with her other son.  What bothers her is that the demands of her life do not allow her to recharge her emotional batteries.  I said that if we lived in a different universe (if I were a cisgender female or post-op transgender female, and we both were unattached), I'd be taking her somewhere on a "Girls Trip".  I then noted that she has the worst of many worlds.  If her husband died, she'd have had a period of grief, and then found ways to move forward with life.  But, she has to keep taking care of him as well as taking care of her sons, not being able to nurture herself.

Once we were done with lunch, I decided to drive to Lane Bryant in Paramus.  One problem - they had closed this store.  Since there was no way I was going to drive to Clifton, I decided to take the long road back home via Bear Mountain.  (Too bad that RQS was not with me - the leaves are just starting to change.)  It was a nice drive home, and I was in for the night.  

Ending a long weekend and starting a short week (A short post)

 

It's Tuesday, and RQS finally had to go home.  She had her usual Tuesday routine to take care of, and I had lunch with DS on the schedule.  It could be a busy day or a relaxed day, all depending on what I planned to do with it.

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RQS and I got up early for us, and I dropped her off at the station at 10:30. But I had time to kill, as DS and I weren't scheduled to eat until 12:30.  So, I drove to Walmart to replace a pair of broken sunglasses. This killed enough time.  Once I got to Yonkers, I would not wait long.  So  off to Yonkers I drove.

I had never stopped in this area of Yonkers before - it was a safe area, but a confusing trip on local streets once off the parkway.  Several minutes after I arrived, DS arrived, and we placed our orders.  Since I've been having way too much Chicken lately, I ordered a Cheeseburger - and it was yummy,  We were there for 2 1/2 hours, and then it was time to leave.  

My next stop was at Lidl, a quick run to pick up some more vanilla nougats.  And then it was home for the night.  My legs were hurting, so I couldn't do laundry.  Even if I wanted to do so, I couldn't, as they were refinishing the laundry room floors.  So I was finally in for the night.

A Paperwork Status Update and Other Thoughts

 

In the past, I have mentioned that I have applied for entered in another nation's Foreign Birth Registry.  Today, I checked on the status of my paperwork, and found out that things are in progress, and I should expect an update towards the end of March.  Once I'm officially registered, I will say more about this country, and more about my feelings about doing this, as there is a part of me that feels as if I could have conflicting loyalties.

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Unlike many TGs, I am very lucky that I can still go stealth in my gender assigned at birth.  In today's America, this is an asset, as we have a federal government hostile to transgender people.  I don't travel as a female when I have to show my paperwork (passport, etc.) to a federal government employee.  Instead, I present as my assigned gender.  Hopefully, a Democratic Party wave will sweep the upcoming elections and force the MAGAloons out of power.  Then, we may just have sanity return in how transgender people are treated in America.

RQS and I have an Iceland Cruise scheduled for next year.  But we're very concerned about the price of the flights going even higher than they are now.  Jet fuel prices, like other fuel prices, have gone up 50% (or more) since our president started this illegal war against Iran.  Note that I am not a fan of Iran's cruel regime, and would love to see it fall.  The regime has a legitimate reason to be upset at the USA, as we overthrew Iran's elected leadership in the 1950's.  And Iran's actions are responsible (as a legitimate military response to America's actions) for the spike in oil prices. After our election day, I feel that things may change with oil prices, as our president will have much less power to screw things up.  Only time will tell.

My brother has told me that my nephew intends to propose to his girlfriend soon.  Assuming that my brother is right, it will be a small wedding.  Hopefully, it will allow us to facilitate taking another Alaska cruise, this time from Seattle, before or after the wedding.  Although Seattle is a city I want to visit, I've given it a low priority.  This wedding will temporarily give Seattle a higher priority on the "Cities to Visit" list.

We were looking at cruise videos and found a few CHEAP bucket list trips we could take.  One problem: RQS can't afford to take any of them.  Without a viable business to take these cruises, I will not book any of them.  But damn, I wish I could do so without hurting my relationship with her.  She is way too good a partner to have to risk the relationship for one trip.

As you can guess, both of us are itching to travel again.  We simply just don't know where and for how long.

 

Another Jammie Day (a short post)

 

RQS and I fell asleep shortly after SNL ended, and woke up at 9:30 this morning.  With the continuous rain outside, there was no way we'd be going out today.

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We ended up watching YouTube videos for much of the day.  Did we bother getting dressed and doing laundry?  No.  Did we do anything to clean up the apartment?  No.  We needed a day of relaxation, and we had one.

My brother called towards the afternoon, and we chatted for a while before he had to run off.  Now that I have my new passport, RQS started salivating at the idea of using her credit card points to buy tickets for another cruise.  I had to explain that chasing credit card points is a foolish thing, as the hidden cost of those points (in higher prices) is a foolish game. (Don't get me on the subject of excessive American credit card interchange fees and point accumulation - Europeans don't have this nonsense, and they are better off for it.)  When she realized that she couldn't buy a cruise, she looked into buying a restaurant gift card.  What I haven't noted is that I'm looking at paying for a cruise for the two of us, using a combination of my points (I rarely ever redeem them) and cash.  I have no problems paying with cash, if there is a cash discount, and with plastic if there is no discount.

By the time we were ready for dinner, we were hungry.  Luckily, we had enough food in the house to have a tasty meal without having to go to the supermarket.  But this made us decide to do some apartment cleanup and some laundry tomorrow.