Preparing for the dumping of the white stuff, with a touch of sadness at the end.

The above is the scene after a snowstorm we had years ago.  It doesn't look like that much compared to what we're expecting to get sometime tomorrow.  Right now, many people in my complex have moved their cars to the street, parking on the grass, with some cars having their driver's side wheels on the paved shoulder.  (It's technically illegal, but in Stormy weather, who cares?)  Yet, there's not enough off-road room for 120+ cars in our complex to be moved out of our driveways and parking lots.  So, the snowplows that will come sometime on Sunday through early Monday will have their work cut out for them.

I was mostly prepared for the storm before the weekend.  Yet, I had gone to the store a few times, picking up a few items I would need to have good, hearty meals while stuck indoors.  The last time that I saw supermarket meat counters this empty was during Covid - which just happens to be when the last major  snowstorm hit.

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And now for some sad news...

No, I am not going to mention the second ICE murder in Minnesota.  The Orange Snowflake and his demonic minions killed someone whose potential threat (a legal gun) was removed from him before they shot him.  I've had enough of our dictator wannabe for now.  Instead, I'm going to mention the loss of a minor NYC area personality - Uncle Floyd.  The best way to describe him is a 1920's vaudeville comic who took lessons from Soupy Sales, having a show on a ultra low power, ultra low budget UHF station. (Think of the UHF station from the movie UHF, and you'll get an idea of the station carrying Floyd Vivino's show.)   

Last night, I was surfing YouTube videos, and found that Uncle Floyd died the day before. Unfortunately, I lived in an area of the NYC suburbs where I could rarely receive his station's UHF signal over the air, so I missed his broadcast show.  One of his later (non-TV) performances came up on my feed, and he was funny.  (The tune he played was much like Benny Bell's "Shaving Cream", where the song's rhymes imply a "dirty word" would be used at the end of the next sentence, but replaced by something else - in Bell's case, the words "Shaving Cream".

As you can see, it's work staying sane in the USA these days.  It's even harder for us in the LGBTIQ community.  This is no longer the country I was born in to.  And I feel sad that I might have to leave, as I don't want to be among those rounded up by the Snowflake's ICE Gestapo.

With certain exceptions, I am most comfortable with women.

 

If I could have been the woman in the picture above, there would have been no stopping me.  This version of me would have been very confident in her shoes (preferably low heels) and unafraid to tackle any challenge put forward to her.

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As you can see, I've been playing around with ChatGPT a little to figure out what a cisgender female version of me would have looked like. This is the "should of" version of me that could not have been due to when I was born and the life is was born into.

Even as a child, I was more comfortable with women, although I received the typical male programming.  Yes, I played with wax molded "action figures" (think of wax GI Joes cast in plastic molds) when I was in lower grade school. But I was equally comfortable playing hopscotch with the girls up the street.  You can guess what would happen when puberty hit the children of my generation.  No longer would boys and girls see each others as equals - the social customs related to reproduction came into play.

If I were born with XX Chromosomes, I likely would have been a girly girl, modeled as such by my mother.  What she didn't know was that I wish I could have been born with those XX chromosomes, even with the adult knowledge of how inconvenient a female body could be.

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One of my friends described me as her straight gay best friend.  What she meant by that is that I have a gender preference for females, but have many of the interests of a gay male (theater, music, arts, etc.) in our culture.  (This woman is married to a stereotypical male - nice looking body, but not too much brain in the head.)  

When I present as a male, the first thing women think if I offer friendship is whether I am interested in them sexually.  I can't blame them: our culture doesn't provide well for cross-gender friendships.  It also doesn't help that male primates (save for the Bonobo apes) tend to be male dominant.)  So, presenting as a female puts me on a more equal plane with women - especially if I can blend in enough for my masculine features not to be noticed.

Life isn't always fair, but we have to make the most of it.  At least, as a transgender person I can do so as long as hateful people stay out of my way....

I'm concerned about the coming snow.

 

This is an image of children sledding at nearby Croton Gorge Park.  Not much has changed here since this picture was taken, save that tree growth has shortened the area where kids can sled down the hill.  Every time we get a "good" snow storm, my mind is drawn back to my childhood, where I had access to one run where I could sled down a hill for a distance of 1/4 mile.  Today's kids have no idea how much fun a long sled ride can be.  But then, if I were going to excel at a sport with the interests I had when young, it would have likely been the luge or skeleton.  Obviously, my life took a very different path since then.

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Sometime this weekend, we will get the first truly heavy snow of the season.  And I dread having to clean 12 inches (or more) of the white stuff off my car.  It will get in the way of me going outside as Marian.  It will make it impossible for me to consider going to church this Sunday.  It is just as well.  RQS and I will likely spend another weekend relaxing at home, something we both need to do.  (It's more so that RQS needs to relax.  But that's another story.)

I may end up placing another Amazon order, buying things that I can use, but don't absolutely need.  Most recently, I bought a set of 4 mouse pads, even though I needed only one.  This mouse pad fits perfectly into my armrest tray, an area which is perfect for mouse use while my laptop sits on my lap.  But I think I may do some apartment decluttering, some laundry, and make a new batch of onion soup to keep us warm on a cold winter's day.

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Given that I am getting older, there are just so many days left for me to be able to clear off my car and drive safely in inclement weather.  I felt that my father lost his ability to drive safely while he was in his 80's.  Considering that I am one of his two offspring, I'll have to keep this in mind as each year passes.  Further and further away is the time where I could safely sled down a hill, only stopping when the effects of gravitational acceleration are negated by friction.  Now, I have to be concerned about unplanned falls, and other situations where I may not be able to get back up as I did when I was younger.

A day at home, a dinner with Vicki

 

Last night, I was playing around with ChatGPT and asked it to generate a picture of me (face previously altered to look more feminine) standing in San Francisco on a nice summer's day.  I wish I could have been that woman in the picture in real life.  The AI version of me exudes happiness in her smile, and she projects a form of confidence that can't be ignored.

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This morning, I got up at my usual time and decided to cook breakfast - eggs and corned beef hash.    It's one of my quick go-to meals, as all I do is open up a can of hash, heat it up, then scramble in a couple of eggs.  It's a one skillet meal that I can make with a minimum of fuss.

After breakfast, I decided to relax, as I was not in the mood to do any type of decluttering.  Instead, I waited for an Amazon delivery that put 2 packages by my door.  The first package contained a set of mouse pads - the thing I needed most for using my mouse while sitting on my sofa.  The other package contained a watch "repair" kit, with spring pins that could be used to connect a watch strap to the base of the watch.  (The kit didn't contain all I needed to make fixing the watch band I had an easy job.  But it had just enough stuff for me to reattach one end of the watch band to the other.)  At least I learned a little something new by doing this task myself.

Around 5 pm, I left for dinner at the local Japanese restaurant.  Vicki was there on time - I was 10 minutes late.  Today's conversation was not as intense as it could have been.  Instead, it was relaxed, in part because Vicki had just had a facial and was already relaxed.  We talked about my latest cruise, and her husband's truck.  But very little talk of a serious nature.  And that was a big relief.  Yet, the issue of how I dressed on the cruise came up.  I mentioned that I dressed as Mario, as I didn't want any possible contact with Federal Government employees while presenting as Marian, as I don't want to be hassled by the Orange Snowflake's Gestapo.

Once done with dinner, I found out that Game Night was cancelled.  So I drove to Walmart to pick up a few items, and then to the supermarket to pick up ingredients for another batch of onion soup.  By the time I got home, I wouldn't wait to take off my bra and falsies, my wig, and most of my clothes to get into something comfortable.  

Tomorrow, RQS comes here again, and I start work on another batch of onion soup....

The most important thing I did today was polishing my nails.

 

I rarely get the chance to leave polish on my nails, due to the unpredictability of when I have to present as Mario. Today, I had the chance to paint my nails, knowing that the polish would stay on for about a week.

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Last night, I ended up staying up late, not realizing what time it was, and realized that I wouldn't be able to do much until I fully woke up.  And I didn't have much energy to do much when I finally woke up around 10 am.  So, I wasted time during the day, and decided to do my nails in late afternoon.  

Once my nails were done, I figured that I should do some research on a minor issue - How do I remove the cover on my bathroom ceiling light fixture, so that I could replace a light bulb?  This doesn't seem that complicated, but without being the one who mounted the fixture and installed the bulb, I wanted to find out in advance of need.  So, off to YouTube I went, and I found a solution which should work for my fixture.  (Or, at least, I hope so.)

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This coming weekend, we're expecting at least 8 inches of snow.  Although I'm tired of shoveling the white stuff, I'm glad that I live in an area that experiences the 4 seasons.  Ideally, I'd live in a place with a covered garage where my car could stay parked in bad weather.  But until I have to move away from here, I'm stuck because of my lower cost of living - my monthly maintenance fee is less than half of what I'd have to pay in rent for a similar apartment.

 

 

PS: The YouTube idea worked!   I cleaned the cover, and put it back.

 

 

 

It's hard not to get upset watching the news these days.

 

Lately, the Orange Snowflake has shown signs of declining mental facility.  In short, his senility is getting worse, and no one is willing to take the risk of removing him from power under the terms of the 25th amendment.

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Each time I watch the news, I have to be careful not to watch it too closely.  The snowflake and his actions seem to monopolize the news.  And I have to be careful not to watch too many YouTube videos, lest I get angry and "howl at the moon."  I have to turn away each time I hear his voice, as the mere sound of him sickens me.  (Thankfully, his niece distorts his voice whenever she plays a video clip of him speaking.)  

Today, reporters mentioned that he rambled on for 2 hours, repeating his old "hits", threatening both military and trading partners, and looking like a lunatic that should be in a padded room.  Unfortunately, he's free and many minorities aren't - they live in fear of his ICE Gestapo.  (My friend from the imaging company is married to someone who doesn't look "Aryan", and fears him being alone in his car and getting pulled over in an ICE raid.)  I try to think of these things as little as possible, as I know that I can only deal with so much crap that upsets me during any given day.

When I watch the news, I try to find a network affiliate's local news on YouTube.  In a half-hour, I am able to keep up with local events that concern me, and look for more information when I need it.  (I found this approach to be useful when a fire burned down 4 buildings a block away from RQS's place.)  The biggest benefit to this approach is that local news usually doesn't cover national events.

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I can'r wait for this national disaster to end.  Hopefully, it will be soon.

RQS had to go home today

 

It's been a long time since I went to the theater with the above ceiling fixture.  It felt like RQS was here for a long enough time for her to become a fixture here.  (And that made me feel good.  I wish she could be here even longer.)

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Unfortunately, RQS had to go home today.  She had a doctor's appointment in the city, and I had a lunch appointment with CCS up here.  We both got up early, and I got showered and dressed in my cold weather outfit - tunic dress, leggings, all covered by a stadium coat for warmth.  RQS was a little surprised that I owned a woman's stadium coat for cold weather, when she bought be a men's stadium coat for Christmes.  But I always make sure that I wear solely female clothes when presenting as Marian, and male clothes when presenting as Mario.

Around 11:30, I dropped RQS off at the station, and had 90 minutes to kill.  So I went to the bookstore to kill that time.  When I got there, the first thing I did was to fix a zipper malfunction with my coat.  And then, I went and read some magazines for an hour.  After that, I drove to Starbucks to get something to drink, as I was falling out due to lacking enough sleep.  Then, I killed some more time before meeting CCS at the restaurant where we had lunch.

Neither CCS nor I had a lot to say today, but we both enjoyed seeing each other. The food at this place was very good, and I was surprised about how good the hamburger I had tasted today.  We left the restaurant at 3 pm, and I went home for the day.  Arriving home, I sat on the sofa and fell asleep for a couple of hours.  And then I was awake, watching videos for the rest of the evening.