Passport renewal, and cascading paperwork issues.

 

I'm glad that I can now update my passport and renew my global entry card online.  The online process does not require me to surrender my old passport.  But it does make the old passport invalid as soon as I hit the final "Enter Key".  This would not be an issue for me, save that it limits my choice of cruises, as I can't book anything new until I receive my new passport book.  

But this isn't the last thing I need to do with this ID.  My Global Entry information (think of TSA PreCheck with extra return privileges for international flights) has to be updated with the new passport book number, as well as information held by each of my cruise lines.  Of course, I'll soon be dealing with Airlines as well, so that they all have my new Trusted Traveler Number (TTN).  And then, I'll have to apply for both a new UK ETA and an EU ETIAS for next year's Iceland cruise.

And all of this is needed, so that I, as a US citizen, can travel "freely".  But I expect to have more complications for international travel, as I will likely have a second passport from another country by the time I travel "across the pond."  Yes, I know that I must use my US Passport when entering and leaving the US.  But the airlines will have to transmit correct information to both the US and both the UK and EU when I travel overseas.  This is going to get confusing at first.  But I will have resources I can count on before I travel.

- - - - - -

It was an important thing that I took care of applying for the Foreign Birth Registry (FBR) when I did, as my citizenship by descent is likely grandfathered under the old rules.  My brother has his FBR paperwork, and can now apply for his second passport he can use when visiting his daughter.  Assuming I'm lucky, I'll have my FBR paperwork by year end, and will be able to apply for the second passport.

I still worry about what our president will do to stay in power.  It's well known that he's weakened America's election system, the national security apparatus, as well as destroying one of the best militaries in the world.  Will I be able to stay safe until I have the papers I need to leave the US for good if needed?  That, and other questions, inquiring minds want to have answered. 

Parting is such wet sorrow

 

OK, "Wet" doesn't describe today's weather.  Yes, it drizzled most of the day.  But I can't say that I got wet.

- - - - - -

My plans for the day were to drop RQS off at the train station, and then to get new tires put on my car.  Neither of us had a good sleep the night before, as I was waking RQS up with my restless sleep.  So, both of us were tired when we got up.

I was up an hour before RQS, and could have easily fallen to sleep by the time RQS got moving - an hour later than usual for a Monday.  This was a day that I was "forced" to present as Mario, as I'd be dealing with folks at the tire store later on.   

Both of us were interested in reports of the rainfall from the Nor'easter, as we had seen a video showing that the parking lot at the local train station was flooded the day before.  Luckily, by the time we got there today, most of the flooding had subsided, and RQS was able to make it home without incident.

- - - - - -

After a brief stop home, I drove to the tire shop to buy 4 new tires and to get my wheels aligned.  I knew NOT to buy Original Factory Equipment tires, as they were both overpriced and underperforming.  The old tires may have lasted to 40k miles at most, while my new tires are rated for 80k miles.  And, the new tires were less expensive as well.  But there was 1 problem - 1 of the 4 tires in stock had a minor defect.  (The fellow behind the desk played down the nature of the defect, but the way he worded it implied that the tire might have been a problem in an accident investigation.)  So, they had to get a tire delivered from a sister store about 30 minutes away.  This meant that a store visit that should have lasted 90-120 minutes lasted an extra 90 minutes for the tire to arrive.

- - - - - -

Around 5:15, I was on my way home, and took a much needed nap.  It was a long day, yet not one where I exerted much effort doing anything.  At least, I'll be able to spend time as Marian tomorrow. 

In spite of the storm

 

On most weekends, RQS comes up on Friday afternoons.  Last weekend, she came up on Thursday so that we could go to the Dion concert together.  This weekend, she was scheduled to come up on Saturday so that she could see a friend from her former place at work for lunch on Saturday.  There is one glitch that factored into everything - the Nor'easter coming up the East Coast today.

- - - - - -

In the early afternoon, I started the day by looking at all the shoes I've accumulated over the years, and found myself creating another donation bag for a local charity. After a carbohydrate loaded lunch, I was a little sluggish, and would have liked to sleep instead of picking RQS up at the station.  Instead, I got showered, made up and dressed - ready to pick up RQS at the appointed time.

5:00 pm came, and I was off to meet RQS.  From there, we took a long drive on a rainy day, and went to one of our favorite Chinese restaurants.  The place was unusually busy with people waiting for take out orders and with Door Dashers waiting for takeaway for people who ordered their food for online delivery. As for us, we enjoyed a nice meal onsite, and then went to the ice cream shop next door for a sweet treat.

- - - - - -

Sunday came, and the storm wasn't as bad as it could have been up here.  The wind was blowing, the ground was wet, but one would never have known a Nor'easter came through the region.  Yet, if one looks at its effects on the NYC metropolitan area, and one would see a different scene.

A Tik Tok poster had a video taken at my local train station, and I was surprised to find that Commuter Train service was running.  RQS and I will see if the trains are running on Monday.

- - - - - -

We stayed in all day, and had Pasta with Mussels for dinner.  Yum.   It was a nice way to spend a gloomy day.  And we were able to schedule social engagements for the next few weeks.  Couple this with the two of us sorting through some of the clutter in my place, and I can say we accomplished things that have been postponed as well.

Monday will be a busy day for us, so it was good to have a Jammie Day today....

 

The calm before the storm

 

As I write this, a Nor'easter is heading for the East coast of the USA.  And this already has caused a baseball game to be played one day early, and for many outdoor events to be cancelled.  My plans are to hunker down at home, hopefully with RQS by my side.  

But first....

Today, I had a couple of things on my docket: 

1. An appointment with the Podiatrist
2. An appointment for a Covid shot.

I found it easier to present as Mario today, as I wanted the fewest possible headaches when I go in for the Covid shot.

- - - - - -

When I finally got dressed and out the door, I decided to take care of a couple of minor things: Lunch, Making a deposit at one bank to keep an account active, and making a withdrawal at another bank to have spending money for the week.

Once done with these tasks, it was off to the podiatrist to have her look at my feet.  There was construction going on in Ossining, so it took an extra few minutes to make it through the town and to the doctor's office.  Shortly after I arrived, the doctor came in and she pronounced that my feet were doing well and to schedule another appointment in 3 months.

While at the podiatrist, RQS texted me to say that she's trying to reschedule lunch with her former coworker for an after work get together during the week. 

- - - - - -

When I finally got to the drug store for my Covid shot, I found out that the refill of anti-fungal cream I use for my feet wouldn't be covered by my insurance.  So I ended up paying twice as much for this refill.  (At least, I didn't have the problem that RQS had with buying supplies early - my pharmacy is staffed by people who are intelligent enough to do simple jobs.)  While getting my Covid shot, I struck up a chat with the fellow giving me the shot and gave him some advice.  Hopefully, he'll take it.

And finally, I was back home.

Around 5:00, Maria called.  She needed to vent a little in regard to her daughter, her sisters, and life in general.  I won't go into Maria's issues, save that her daughter needs to grow up and be a real mother to her children.

- - - - - -

7:30 came, and it was time to do laundry.  AARGH!  I was in pain coming up the steps.  When I bring up the first of 2 loads, I'll leave a heavy bag of dried, but unfolded sheets and towels in my storage compartment.  At least, I can minimize how many times I have to climb my stairs - and have RQS give me a hand later on.

Coffee with a Co-Op board member, with Games in the evening

 

Right now, I would rather have the above team of clowns running our government than the clowns currently in charge.  At least President Firefly (Groucho Marx) could be a success when he fights a war against another country.  In the real world, our president can't win a war against Iran, and keeps trying to shut down any press agency critical of his mismanagement of our country, our military, and its resources.  And we're lucky that he still grudgingly follows the dictates of our court system when they rebuke him.

Today, I had only two things on my docket: Coffee with a co-op board member, and Game Night.  So, I set my alarms to wake me up early, in order to be at the coffee shop by 11.  We talked about many things, including her problems with the co-op.  (No, I won't go into them here.  And, no, I only gave her some ideas which she could look into to help resolve her problems.  I still have fiduciary duties to the co-op.) This board member knows that I'm a member of the LGBT community, and I noted that I'm seeking out a new doctor.  She said that though her doctor wasn't accepting new patients, she would ask for an exception for me.  I said that I'd like to find a doctor that I could visit as Marian, and add one more place that I can visit as Marian, and drop one more place where I'm stuck having to go as Mario.

After I returned home, I decided to take a nap and catch up on my sleep.  Although I could have done some laundry, I decided to leave this until tomorrow (in which I'll be stuck presenting as Mario.)  I must have needed the rest, as I was "out" for 2 hours and had a truly deep sleep for that time.

- - - - - -

6 pm came, and I ate leftovers from yesterday's lunch before driving to Yonkers.   Arriving at 7:30, I had a hard time finding a spot to park.  And then the gaming began.  It was nice to see the hostess and DS again.  Although I lost both games, it was fun.  Afterwards, I was able to talk with the hostess for a few, discussing issues that her son and I have in common.  At 10 pm, everyone was "chased" out.  That was just as well, as I needed to stop at the supermarket on the way home....

Lunch with CCS and Zooming with the girls (a short post)

 

I had 2 things on the docket today, but not much else to do.  And yet, I virtually forgot about one of them until a reminder came on my screen.

- - - - - -

Not having enough sleep last night, I knew that I'd be taking a nap sometime between lunch and my zoom call with our Texas friends.  So, around noon (after several hours in bed which I couldn't return to sleep), I got showered, made up, and dressed to see CCS in Ossining for lunch.  

CCS arrived at the pizzeria shortly before I did.  (She was walking to the pizzeria while I was waiting to pull into a parking spot.)  Our conversation flowed like we had never had a month since our last lunch.  I talked about my recent cruise, while she talked about her new house.  And then, we got to world politics - where we share a similar worldview.

All too soon, we had to go our separate ways, and I went home to rest.  I was on the computer when a pop-up appeared.  My Zoom meeting with our Texas friends was about to begin.  So it was back on with a little bit of blush and lipstick, then I got dressed for the Zoom.  Unlike other Zoom meetings, RQS and I did 95% of the talking.  Neither of us enjoyed the meeting, as our two friends had nothing to contribute to the conversation.

The Zoom meeting ended earlier than planned, and it was just as well.  Neither RQS nor I were in the mood to carry on the meeting by ourselves. 

 

Often, Transgendered Life Can Be Very Mundane - but it takes some time to get there.

 

What is it about being transgender that most of us wish we could have?  The answer to that question is relatively simple: We wish to live our lives and be perceived as the gender in which we identify.  

- - - - - -

Let's say one chooses to live life in the gender opposite to which as one was identified as belonging to at birth.  One would then have to navigate a maze of challenges in order to be accepted in one's "New" identity and not stand out as Transgender:

• Presentation.
  - Dressing appropriately for each situation.
  - Makeup (Where, When, and How Much?)
  - Development of vocal traits appropriate to one's gender.
  - Surgeries (if needed) to live in one's authentic gender
• Social Skills.
  - Learning behaviors appropriate for one's "New" Gender.
  - Learning verbal language skills appropriate to one's "New" Gender.
  - Learning non-verbal language skills (body language) appropriate to one's "New" Gender.
•  Legal Issues.
  - Name changes on legal documents (Birth Certificate, Driver's License, etc.).
  - Financial Arrangements (updated name on bank accounts, insurance policies, etc.)
• Medical Issues.
  - Treatment for body parts part of "New" gender.
  - Treatment for body parts remaining from "Old" gender.
  - Choosing new doctors (as needed)
• Social Life.
  - Building up friendships with others of your "New" gender
  - Development of interests of your "New" gender to share common interests.

The above is not a complete list of these challenges, nor will all of them apply to every transgender person.  For example, many transgender people live in the role of their "New" gender without any intent to undergo Gender Correction Surgeries.  Others may consider this step necessary for their unique journeys. I feel that my journey depended on learning how to speak as a female, and I underwent voice training to help my voice sound more feminine.  

- - - - - -

Often, one has to ask a very important question:

How "Passable" do I need to become? 

This might be the most important question a transgender person needs to ask.  Ideally, I'd like to be able to have Facial Feminization Surgery (FFS), Breast Augmentation, and Hair Restoration (I hate wearing wigs!) When it comes to bottom surgery (a.k.a. Gender Correction Surgery - GCS), I can take it or leave it.  To me, the only benefit from GCS would be the ability to go into a woman's locker room and not have to hide my private parts.  Since I don't go to a gym, it's not a big deal for me.  But this could be a problem for other trans people.

Some trans people do not have a need to pass.  Instead, they simply want to blend in as much as possible, or they don't mind being seen as part of the "Queer Community".  One trans woman I know has no desire to have bottom surgery, as she feels she could lose her ability to have an orgasm.  Her voice still sounds masculine, and the nose on her face is the only visual feature that would identify her as a M2F trans woman.  Yet, she's happy with her presentation.  She participates in local women's groups, and persues her dreams in retirement.

Not all trans people can become "passable".  One trans woman I've met stands 6'6".  The lack of feminine curves combined with her height gives her away as being transgender.  Another trans woman I know still have the physical appearance of being a linebacker.  For these trans women, "Blending In" is the best that they can do.  And, hopefully, this will be enough for these trans women.

The issue of "Passing" is not unique to trans women.  I have also met trans men who are very short, and still have their feminine curves.  At work, one of these trans men (when I was last in contact with him) had to present as a Butch Lesbian at work, instead of being outed as transgender at work.  (He worked in an environment where being a Butch Lesbian did not affect "her" social standing, but being transgender would have caused people to discriminate against him.)

- - - - - -

Eventually, most of us are able to find a new normal in life.  Our existence becomes much more mundane, filled with activities in which cisgender people would be involved.  Their transgender identities become less and less a factor in their lives.   They have navigated through their mazes, and found ways to live within the boundaries of objective reality.  The mundane has finally become a new normal.  And, hopefully, the transgender person can live the full life s/he hoped for with a minimum of hassles.