I had to go home today - and I would have delayed this one day

 

My car was parked in a Monday/Thursday No Parking spot, so I had to go home.  Actually, it was because I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow afternoon, and my parking spot was a reminder that I couldn't postpone things this week.

- - - - - -

 

RQS and I spent Saturday by taking the subway into Manhattan and seeing the movie Pressure.  It's a movie about the Meteorologist who was tasked with the responsibility of  predicting the weather for D-Day in an age where computers had yet to be developed.  (I won't include the primitive computer being used at Bletchley Park to decode German Enigma messages, as this was top secret and known only to Churchill and a very small staff.)  I'm grateful that there were people like the British Meteorologist  on our side, as I would have hated to see a world where the Nazis won WW2.

After the movie, we were about to walk to Katz's deli when we saw a Chinese restaurant a block away from the subway station. I suggested going here, even though my knees would be killing me if we used the Essex street station to go home.  (It is not "accessible", and has a lot of stairs that need to be used to reach the platforms from which to board the trains.)  Both of us ordered pork dishes, and I think my dish of shredded pork with little buns was something I'd order again at this place.  RQS noted that a movie night and dinner would now cost over $100, and she'd be right.  When you factor in $40 for Manhattan movie theater tickets and $80+ for a meal nearby, it starts to get pricey. 

While taking the subway to/from the theater, we did some people watching .  Both of us noticed a young woman wearing a skirt so short that it barely would keep her modest standing on the subway platform.  I noticed while climbing the stirs that she was wearing a thong.  (Leave it to my gender preference to notice such things.)  There were other women we noticed, such as another young woman wearing lace trousers.  (I wondered how she could stay comfortable given the chilly weather earlier in the day.)  

When we made it back to RQS's place, off came the dress and on went the night shirt.  It was time to get comfy and relax for the evening.

- - - - - -

Sunday morning came, and neither of us really wanted to get up.  However, both of us moved into the living room before 10:30 (early for us on weekends) and took care of a little chore - slicing up cardboard boxes, so that the paper content can be recycled.  RQS was a little surprised at how I did things, but she liked the results.  So, once I got showered and dressed, we took the remaining bags of cardboard downstairs for recycling and it was off to my car to get a 12-pack of soda for RQS.  I then drover her back to her house, and was off on the road home.

Normally, going home from RQS's place is predictable.  But traffic jams in Queens leading to the Whitestone bridge forced me to take local roads to the Throggs Neck bridge.  And even then, I knew that I'd have to take a roundabout way home to avoid Summer Weekend Sunday traffic.  Instead of the 2 hours I usually need to get home, it took almost 2 1/2 hours to get to a nearby supermarket to get food for the week. I finally made it home around 7:30, and I was glad to strip off my dress, my makeup, and my bra (not in that order) and finally relax for the evening.

Tomorrow, it's off to the doctor - I wonder how he'll hector me about my weight this time.... 

Going to RQS's place for the weekend (a short post)

 

When I started to see RQS, I made sure to present as Mario whenever I went to her place.  Her neighbors might see a balding, overly large, old fellow visiting RQS on a regular basis.  Over time, things have evolved that I rarely present as Mario, except when Mario needs to be seen for appearances' sake.  And I am happy with where things are, as I could never have believed things would be this good for me.

- - - - - -

Today, I had only one thing on the agenda - driving down to RQS's place.  Not being sure of the weather for the weekend, I packed clothes that would keep me comfortable in 50 degree weather, as well as in 80 degree weather.  Whether or not this would be needed would depend on whether the weather forecast was for warm weather or for cooler weather.  But enough about the weather for now....

I started off to RQS's place around 1:30, and realized that I might need to take a bio-break before reaching my destination.  (Several times, I have needed a break as I reached RQS's neighborhood, and was lucky that I could find a clean loo before looking for a "rare" parking spot near her house.)  This was a smart thing to do, as I hit a bit of traffic once I reached Queens.  

Arriving at 4 (as I planned), RQS was waiting for me, and we had an early night - dinner was ready by 5:30 (a rarity for us), and we were in bed relatively early for the night.   This was going to be a weekend send as Marian, and I was prepared for Saturday and Sunday to come.

- - - - - -

It's amazing how normal life can become over time.  But then, I'm glad that I don't live in the American South.  In New York, my Texas friends as Marian, but can't do so because of the laws enacted there in the past few years.  I am mostly "Out" where I live, but would need to be "Closeted" if I lived in Texas.  (I wonder what Kim of Traveling Transgender, a mostly defunct blog, is doing now.  Years ago, she traveled "Pretty" between major American cities.  Now, I hope she's able to get out and about as Kim now and then.)

My brother finally has his second citizenship.

 

The other day, I received an email telling my brother that he is finally registered in the foreign birth registry.  That means that once he has his second passport, he will be able to travel across the Atlantic to see his daughter without any other paperwork than his passports.  As for me, I will still need my UK ETA for this summer's cruise.  But I hope I will have my second citizenship and passport before my Iceland cruise in 2027.  Otherwise, I will need both a new UK ETA and an EU ETAIS, as I will have a new US passport issued next year.

In this day and age, it makes sense to have a way to leave the US.  I love America.  But with a senile, misogynist, racist, and incompetent authoritarian trying to destroy my country, I want my "Letters of Transit", so that RQS and I can leave for a new homeland if needed.  All too many people have forgotten the lessons of the past.  And I don't want to be a victim if the crud hits the fan.

- - - - - -

I'm glad that my brother and I are lucky enough to inherit another nation's citizenship through my grandmother.  There are way too many people in this country at risk with no way to exit. For transgenders, its a risk than many are avoiding by leaving the US while they still can.  In an article in Der Spiegel, the trials and tribulations of Americans leaving their homeland for Germany are discussed.  It's ironic that any descendant of a German Jew who escaped or survived the Holocaust is now welcomed by Germany.  (They have much more common sense than us in America.)

I figure that I might use a two-step process to leave the US if needed.  First, I'd get myself across the border, but close enough to take care of my remaining business in the US.  Once my bank accounts are emptied and the money moved overseas, I'd then leave North America for my new home.  (Money moved before arrival in the new country is not taxed.  Money moved after residing in the new country is taxed.)

As I say again and again - ALL Transgenders must have an exit plan ready while the Orange Monster is in control of government.  Get that passport now, as well as a second citizenship if eligible for one.  It's much better to be prepared for the worst, than to have no idea of what to do if it happens.  

Lunch with RO, and Game Night in Yonkers

 

As I write this, it's almost midnight and I haven't the energy to say much about today.  And yet, in spite of the little things, it was a successful day.

Let me begin here....

I didn't get a restful sleep last night, but managed to sleep an interrupted 6 hours.  That doesn't sound like much for many people, but when one wakes up twice in the middle of the night for bio-breaks, it's more like having 4-5 hours of sleep.  When the alarm clock rang at 10 am, I knew I had to get up and get ready to see RO in New Jersey.

So, I got showered and dressed, and when I was about to leave the house - the first problem of the day occurred.  I had tossed a pillow on the couch, and it fell in back of it.  Stupid me...  I decided to try and retrieve it, wasting 15 minutes of time I could have spent on the road to meet RO.  After tearing apart everything on one side of the couch to reach the pillow, I was able to retrieve it - and made the mistake of tossing the "grabber" in a way that it too had fallen behind the couch.  Retrieving the grabber would have to wait until I got home.

It took me a little over 1 hour & 15 minutes to get to the restaurant, and I was only 5 minutes late.  RO and I chatted and caught up on things. Although she is not political, she worries about her trans nephew in this political climate.  RO was glad to hear about my brother gaining his second citizenship, and was glad that my paperwork is well on its way to being processed.  All too soon, it was time to go, and we agreed to try and meet sometime in early July.

I drove a little under 1½ hours to get home, using a different route than I used to meet RO., then passed out for a couple of hours once I hit the couch.  (BTW, it only took me 5 minutes to fetch the grabber.)  Around 6, I realized that it was game night.  So, I changed into something a little warmer than what I wore to lunch and drove to Yonkers.  Believe it or not, I won 1 of the 2 games tonight.  Yay!

All in all, it was a good day, but not a perfect day.  But who needs perfection when things are in your favor? 

 

I was looking for something to wear under my dresses to prevent chafing....

 

Given that I am a fat T-Gal, I am always looking for a second set of undies which I can wear over my base layer and do two things: Keep my thighs from chafing, and help keep my front as flat as possible while remaining comfortable. And that's where today's story begins....

- - - - - -

I had three things on the docket for today: 

• Reviewing financial status with an advisor
• Lunch with CCS
• Retail therapy.   

The first item took a bit longer than expected.  But the advisor said that I am in excellent financial shape for my age, and will help fine tune things to meet my short and long term goals.  I'll develop a few questions for him, and schedule a further review in a few weeks.

Next was lunch with CCS.  We went to the same place we went to last month, and talked for almost 2 hours.  Towards the end, I mentioned an interest in seeing Dion, and she was interested as well.  So, hopefully, she'll be able to score extra tickets for us at one of the Connecticut casinos.

And finally came shopping in the intimates department.  I always have problems finding my size on the racks at Walmart.  Officially, my hips are narrow enough that I can wear a size 3x undergarment.  It's my chest that forces me to buy a size 28 dress.  While rummaging through the racks, a lady starts up a conversation about looking for undies.  She expects her shape wear to perform miracles for her - stuffing a watermelon through a sausage casing, expecting to hide her belly.  This is not going to happen.  But she assumed I was a cisgender female, and we talked about shape wear and the need to relieve one's self.  I mentioned that I will wear all-in ones/body suits if I need to fit into something, and then we shifted to getting the garment out of the way for a bio break.  (I hate the 3 hook mechanism in the crotch of these garments, but she would have a problem reaching this area based on her fat distribution.)  

It's nice when one cisgender female assumes that I am one of the same, and we can talk about female issues with ease.  Once women know I am TG, they always censor themselves on some topics. So not being seen as Trans is an asset for me. 

 

 

If it weren't for the Jewish Holidays, I might have gotten free tickets.

 

Does anyone recognize who this performer is?  I'll give you a clue - he could have been on the plane with Buddy Holley, but (as I understand it) he didn't have the money to afford to fly to the tour's next stop.  For this, I think the world is very lucky, as this man, in his 80's, is still making great music.  No, he's not making hits anymore.  But he is performing with some of the best musicians in the business.

Dion DiMucci is best known for his work in the 50's, 60's and 70's.  Yet, I think some of his later work is even better than the music he is best known for.  I love one of the songs he did with Paul Simon (Written on the Subway Wall / Little Star), where Simon sings Twinkle Twinkle Little Star in the middle of Dion's song.  It's a wonderful piece, and his later tunes such as Dancing Girl (w. Mark Knopfler) are as good or better than much of his early work.

I told my friend about Dion's scheduled performance in September, and it fell on the Jewish Holiday of Rosh Hashanah.  As a result, RQS and will not be able to scarf up a pair of free tickets.  Instead, we will likely buy a pair of tickets to a performance closer to home.  This is just as well, as I have the excuse to ask RQS to come here a day earlier than usual.

This might be one of the last chances to see Dion perform live.  So I'm going, whether or not RQS decided to come with me.  Now, if only John Fogerty would be performing at a venue and on a date convenient to us.  I'm still hoping for one last chance to see Chubby Checker perform, but given his age, we can only have pleasant memories of doing the twist like we did last summer....

Caesar Salad Dressing and Transgenders

 

Sometimes, a T-Gal has got to eat.  And for me, tonight was the time to make fresh Caesar Salad dressing and toss it with some fresh Romaine Lettuce.

To Start:

1. In a medium bowl, whisk anchovies, egg yolks, garlic, mustard, and lemon juice. While whisking, slowly stream in oil until dressing is thick and creamy. (This can also be done with an immersion blender or in a small food processor.)
    
2. Stir in Parmesan and black pepper; season with salt.

You may ask with something this simple, what did I do wrong?  Since my mother never taught me to cook (Remember, I was a boy to her, and thankfully never learned her bad cooking style), I've had to gradually learn how to do simple things on my own.  This is not a bad thing, as I get pleasantly excited when something I do comes out right.  In this case, I didn't slowly stream in the oil.  That's something I'll do next time I prepare this dish.

- - - - - -

Why do I mention food preparation in a blog that discusses a transgender life?  Well, most TG women have to learn ALL the skills normally acquired by cisgender females in a fraction of the time.  Even when others are tolerant of our mistakes, we can make big ones and be totally embarrassed by them if we give things much thought.  We learn by doing, and we must be more observant than the average person, so that we can blend in well.

There is a big confidence factor in blending in.  One must feel that s/he is the gender in which s/he is presenting.  Each time I am pegged as a male, I ask myself - where did I slip up?  Did I slip up at all, and that being perceived as TG was the only thing possible for the other person?  So many questions, and so much to learn.

Like cooking, transgender presentation as a female (or as a male for F2M TGs) takes work.  F2M transgenders have an easier time in appearing male than M2F transgenders have in appearing female.  Cisgender males are taller than cisgender females, have more body mass, and other features that are easy to notice if you are looking for them.  Yet, for most of us, it is possible with a bit of work.  So, keep it up - you'll get where you want to be if you don't give up. 

 

 

PS: I forgot the Anchovies the next time I made the dressing....