Come fly away, come fly away with me.

 

The other day, I was at a meetup where I felt a woman was trying too hard to make me into her travel partner.  If I wasn't happily attached, I'd have considered the possibility of traveling with her, but I'd have to tell her that I'm non-op trans - and that would be a big risk factor I'm glad I didn't have to address.

- - - - - -

RQS and I are halfway through paying for our next cruise, and I think we'll be done by mid April.  Come hell or high water, we will make all of our payments by final payment date.  But even with that issue having to be addressed first, I've started to look at cruises taking place in 2027, specifically ones that sail from mainland Europe then going to Iceland and back. 

Now that RQS has seen Rick Steves' video on Iceland, I think RQS is starting to understand why this remote place, a land of fire and ice, is on my bucket list.   Like Norway and its Fjords, Iceland has places to see which are unlike any other place on earth.  I want to visit while we're both able to do so, as old age is rapidly creeping up on us.

One of the things I've found out about Iceland is that it seems LGBT friendly.  I could see flying to Amsterdam, cruising to Iceland and back, all in Marian mode.  Right now, I doubt that I'd do this with the current political climate in the US, but one can dream.  (As I write this, the Orange Monster, in his SOTU address, attacked us TG's once again.  Who wants to take a risk with TSA/CBP personnel right now, as they are hassling more and more people - including Americans.)

Hopefully, by the time I book this cruise, I will have my second citizenship and my second passport.  I'd like to fly into Europe without having to bother with ETA paperwork, being treated as if I were a citizen returning home. 

The state of disunion

 

For the most part, I did nothing bout relax all day.  Yet, a conversation I had with my niece underscores her reluctance to visit the land of her birth, much less with her British husband.  

- - - - - -

As I have mentioned before, my niece lives in London and will likely never return to the US to live.  (There is a paperwork issue, that due to a misfiling, may change this.)  She sees the signs of oncoming fascism in America, and wants no part of it.  Her friends report an increased scrutiny of British subjects (all with valid papers) at TSA/CBP checkpoints, which makes them feel like unwanted guests.  Even my niece, a US citizen, has undergone more intensive screening on her return to the US.  This does not bode well for my country, and I strongly suggest that if you don't have to visit the US until 1/20/29, don't do so!

We connected by Zoom around 12 pm (my time), and chatted for well over an hour.  We talked about my brother's job search, current affairs, and my niece's potential guilt for not being near family to help out.  (My sister in law has a disease which has pushed my brother away from her, and even my niece refers to her mom by her first name when talking with me.  You can guess what she feels about her mom these days.)  If all goes right, their family homestead will be in a trust by the time you read this, and my brother will be well on his way to getting a new job (and a new life).

- - - - - -

Once my niece and I ended our Zoom, I decided to relax a little.  I had no reason to go outside, and every reason to relax.  Around 5 pm, I realized that I squandered my chance to go out today, so I put dinner in the oven and got ready for a zoom meeting with my Texas friends at 8 pm.  Well, I screwed up the meeting, and we rescheduled it for next Wednesday.   RQS and I used the zoom in place of our usual nightly phone call

 

It's hard to believe

 

The above is the woman I wish I could have grown up into from my birth.  Sadly, I was born with an incorrect chromosome, and I do not look that much like the lady in the picture.  At least, I had a career bordering on a "Wall Street" Career, but with less risk.

About 14 years, I was afraid to go out in public dressed as a woman.  Would I look enough like a cisgender woman to NOT draw attention?  What about sounding enough like a cisgender woman?  And, would I be dressed appropriately, and not stand out?  So many questions, but most of them involving learning how to function as a woman without having lived my whole life as a woman.

People don't think much about boys and girls are molded from infancy, through adolescence, and on to young adulthood.  Boys have been taught to be competitive, taught that femininity is something less than innate masculinity, taught that they always have to prove their masculinity.  Where girls would play with Barbie Dolls, boys would have G.I.Joe "Action Figures.  Girls were expected to learn homemaking skills, as if their path in life would be like Donna Reed's role in her eponymous show.

The reality of male performance vs. female performance is much more subtle.  In WW2, we had many "Rosie the Riveters".  But as soon as the war ended, women were mostly relegated to household roles.  By the time the 1960's came, America (and the world) was hit by a major change that would liberate women - the availability of the birth control pill.  No longer could many women suffer the social, economic, and medical risks of pregnancy if they weren't ready to do so.  Women were often free to be as sexually active as men!

Once women had sexual freedom, other rights were much easier to fight for.  Why should a woman need a male guardian to have credit cards in her own name?  Why should women be assumed to be in the secretarial pool (or other female dominated jobs)?  Women fought and won their rights with decades long struggles.  Much of this happened in my lifetime   And I likely would have been taking the pill, so that I wouldn't have a career interrupted by an unwanted pregnancy.  (Sorry, Pope Leo, I don't believe in the papacy's claim of "the banquet of life" as an excuse to risk getting pregnant.)  If I were a cisgender female, I would likely be as childless as I am now.

Now, we have a government which, if it got its way, would return us to the 1950's with all of its evils.  Hopefully, we'll be able to stop this in November....

The snow came and then the shovels came out. (a short post)

 

Sadly, there was no way I could go out as Marian today.  If I'm going to shovel out 15 inches of snow from around my car, I'm not going to make up my face - especially when the few cisgender women there would be without painted faces.  (I like blending in for all circumstances, and this was not a time where presenting as Marian would make sense.)

- - - - - -

For the most part, I did nothing all day until I saw several people shoveling their cars out.  So, I took a quick shower and got dressed as Mario to move the snow away from my car.  Once done, I moved it back to my normal parking spot (a big mistake, as it hadn't been plowed out yet.)  A few minutes later, I heard the return of the snow plows, so I went out again, and killed another hour.  When I returned, my spot was mostly clear, and I could use my space again.

At this point, I no longer wanted to be outside, so I'll wait until tomorrow, when I can present as Marian again. 

 

Getting snowed in.

 

You may be wondering why I posted an image of the Cruise Globe, with most of my voyages listed on its face.  Well, I'll get to that eventually, but first, let me describe my day.

- - - - - -

I woke up this morning, and knew that I didn't want risk moving my car, only to lose the one visitor's parking space left in our lot.  A blizzard was coming, and they expected the snow to start by mid afternoon.  RQS was safe in her home, near all the cold weather gear she'd need when the blizzard is over. As for me, I got dressed for only one reason - to take kitchen waste to the dumpster before the snow made it impossible for me to do so.  (Once back inside, it was back to my jammies.)

As I may have mentioned, I am working on a spreadsheet to allow people to plug in key parameters, and generate an approximate cost for an adult taking a specific cruise.  Each cruise line's beverage prices, Wi-Fi prices, package prices, package inclusions and automatic gratuity charges differ, and there is only so much someone can do to allow people to "Compare Apples to Apples."  At least, this spreadsheet comes reasonably close to doing so for basic fees, but it doesn't include things such as Specialty Coffees, Bottled Waters, and Top Shelf Beverages.  Work on the spreadsheet kept me busy all day and much of the night.

When I came up for air, I watched some cruise videos and read some cruise news.  There were 3 ships scheduled to leave from the New York City area, and all of them were affected by the weather.  NCL's ship left Manhattan as scheduled, and I expect people will get seasick before they spend their first night in the casino.  MSC's ship left Brooklyn, and returned later due to the weather.  Finally, Royal Caribbean's ship took on its passengers, but stayed in port.  Although the plans are for this ship to leave either on Monday or Tuesday, passengers had to be on the ship before its originally scheduled departure time.  Both RQS and I are very glad that we took our latest cruise in January, as the winter snows that came in the last month would have caused us some grief when we returned.

- - - - - -

Tomorrow, I expect to get dressed as Mario and shovel my car out of its parking space.  Since it's a heavy snow, I don't plan to rush things.  I'm no longer in my 20's, and I have to be careful not to over exert myself. 

 

Should auld acquaintance be forgot....

 

I'm not sure whether my friend knows I'm trans or not.  But I knew that I'd have to play things down a little, yet be honest when called for.  I met this acquaintance at a meetup many years ago, and she introduced me to Arts Westchester.  From there, we lost contact during Covid, and it was a phony Evite email that harvested email addresses which got me to reach out to her again.

- - - - - -

The weather, when I got up, was a constant drizzle.  Cold and damp was the forecast for the day, and I didn't want to go to lunch.  I wanted to stay cozy in my jammies and stay warm inside my apartment.  But I didn't want to screw up things, so I got dressed in something warm and left for a Chinese restaurant in Mamaroneck.  

While driving to the restaurant, I wondered whether this was such a good idea or not.  People were driving like mad men.  One driver I saw was weaving through traffic with barely a car's length of distance between the two cars.  On a dry day, this would be bad enough.  But when the road is wet, I knew enough to keep my distance and then some.

Although I had a hard time with the parking meter, I was able to pay for my spot and walk to the restaurant without getting drenched.  My friend came about 10 minutes later, not being sure if the meter had registered her payment or not.  And then, we both ordered the same dishes - Hot & Sour Soup, followed by Roast Duck.  Both were yummy.  We talked about many things, but the conversation was of the "Getting to Know You Again" genre.  Towards the end, she mentioned my dress - not noticing I was wearing leggings under it, and not tights.  (We were talking about the practicality of cold weather dressing.)

All too soon, lunch had to end.  So we bid each other farewell, and went out own ways.

- - - - - -

Later on, I picked RQS up at the station. Since I had Italian, Greek, and Chinese this week, it was off to the diner for dinner.  There are some dinners I go to as Mario and others I go to as Marian.  So, I chose the diner in Peekskill where I tend to go as Marian.  Food portions are plenty here - the fish and chips I had were enough to feed 3 people (or 1 of me).  And RQS had a healthy meal as well, also bringing home salad for tomorrow.

When we got home, we watched the weather reports - none of them were good.  RQS will now leave early, as a blizzard was coming in for Sunday/Monday.  AARGH!  This will likely be a very wet snow, and a bitch for shoveling out my car when it ends.  At least, my apartment will stay warm.  

Lunch with Short Vicki

 

It's been ages since I last saw "Short" Vicki.  (RQS and I call her that, to avoid confusion with the other Vicki in my life.)  Today was a last minute planned lunch, fitting it into her hectic schedule.

- - - - - -

I had to get up early today, so that I could meet Vicki in Tarrytown for lunch.  Given that I had leftover baked ziti in the ice box, I wasn't in the mood to have Italian again.  So, I chose a Greek place we both enjoy, and arranged to meet her by 11:30.  My alarms were set to waken me early, and I was up and moving by 9:30.

Having showered, shaved and made up my face, I was able to get out the door shortly after 11:00.  This would give me barely enough time to make it to Tarrytown by 11:30.  But I needn't have worried - Vicki was running late (caught in "flow" state with what she was doing) and was glad that I texted her, as she may have forgotten our lunch date.  While I waited, everyone treated me as the female as I was presenting. It's always nice to be treated as a woman - there are certain simple, polite niceties which women experience that I always enjoy. 

One thing about Vicki - she always seems to have a smile on her face.  This brightened up my day when she entered the restaurant.  We caught up on things - her trips (past and present), her family, current affairs, and issues affecting her family.  Our lunch was way too short, as both of us had things to do afterwards.  So, around 1:30, we left the restaurant, hoping we'll get together soon.

My next stop was back at my apartment, where I proceeded to work on a spreadsheet for my other blog.  It's not perfect, but it will give a person an idea of what one's real cost will be for a particular cruise, including optimizations made possible by judicious package purchases.

At a certain point, I decided to make a run to BJ's, and burn off a gift card I've had since before Xmas.  Other than gas, this was not an expensive trip, as the sunk money part of it (the gift card) was money already spent that needed to be used soon.

- - - - - -

Once I had finished work on the spreadsheet, I stored it away, and set up a zoom with our Texas friends for next week.  On the whole, it was a good day.