People enter and leave your life for a reason - I just wish I knew what those reasons were.

 

The title of this entry may say it all.   

I once dated a woman who broke up with me, and then resumed our intimate relationship.  (I'm talking about Patty here.)  She may have been trying to get my attention, and then again, she may have had second thoughts about what she did after she did it.  When I finally broke things off later on, it was several years before we were in contact again.  And then, it was because she had a surgical procedure that prevented her brain from being starved of blood.  Recently, someone mentioned a symbolic breakup as a tactic for getting the attention of the other partner, and I would advise against it.  The partner may assume that the breakup is complete, and prematurely start the process of moving on.  In the case of Patty, we were able to reconnect as friends, and we still get together to this day.

Not all exits are permanent, as my experience with Patty shows.  However, some exits are permanent.   Years ago, I was close friends with a fellow who yearned to be a Lutheran Minister.  I was instrumental in his attempts to convince his parents that a career in Medicine, Law, or Accounting wasn't for him.  He demonstrated that a degree in Computer Science would always make it possible for him to find work, and his parents didn't protest too loudly when he followed his calling, getting his Doctor of Divinity degree, and set himself up as a local parish's minister.  Although his parents are long gone, and I haven't seen him or his wife in over 25 years, I can safely say that they should be proud of what their son has accomplished. Hopefully, I'll be able to take a long weekend at the Jersey Shore and visit him one last time (at his parish) before he retires.

Some exits are unpleasant, as in the case with one of my former friends.  I will not go into any of the details here, as I've talked way too much about her in the past.  In some of these cases, one wishes s/he could rewrite the past.  But that's not possible.  These are teachable moments - where one should learn what not to make, so that these kind of exits won't happen again.  Recently, I made a comment about one former acquaintance, noting that she spoke and wrote loudly.  This was one of the rare times where I wanted to disconnect from someone who could not be a true friend.  For the most part, I try to avoid unpleasantness, but it seems to happen no matter what I do.

Most of the people who enter my life enter as a result of some trauma they have experienced, or as a way to deal with some of the stresses they are dealing with.  I can say this is true about several of the girlfriends I've dated, but won't go into the details here.  Those people who have already gotten their acts together look for someone in a better place than I am.  As a result, I'm left to help others deal with their problems.  Sometimes, I can do so.  Other times, it's too much for me - as in the case of FH.  Her problems were related to her personality.  Yet, I found her interesting enough to hang out with for the better part of a year.

If you look at the picture at the top of this entry, it is the image of a British artist (Grayson Perry) after being being awarded his CBE title from Prince Charles.  I would love to have a woman support me in my endeavors such as his wife (pictured on his immediate right). This couple has been together for years, and have raised a beautiful daughter together. Luckily for me, I have been able to maintain a motley crew of friendships as people enter and exit....

Dumpsters and injuries

 

What would you do if you accidentally tossed your key chain into the dumpster?  That's the question I was forced to answer the other day as I was about to go out.  

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Imagine the following situation: 

It was a holiday weekend, and no help was available to me.  Getting in and out of the dumpster would be a problem, and I wasn't sure of how foul smelling the refuse deposited there would be.  I needed the keys to get back inside my apartment, and I was already running late to meet up with someone and go out to dinner.  What would you do?

Well, for a big T-Gal like me, I got to the front rim of the dumpster, applied all my weight, and tipped over a 800+ lb. dumpster.  It would be the only way for me to sort through the trash.  (Too bad that I didn't have a good way to upright the dumpster afterwards.  Thankfully, it was almost empty.)  In the process of tipping over the dumpster, I fell flat on my back and injured my tail bone.  Sitting would be very uncomfortable for the rest of the night.  

Eventually, I found my keys, and tried to find some people to get the dumpster upright again.  Sadly, I couldn't do this.  After the weekend, I will call my complex's super to see what could be done.  And if it costs the co-op money, I will reimburse the co-op for its expenses.

 

 

PS: I laid in bed all the next day to avoid aggravating my injury.  When I did have to bend or flex, my lower back reminded me that it was hurting and that I needed to take it easy. 

PPS: When I got home from work (following the long weekend), I noticed that the dumpster was uprighted.  I'll have to find out whether it cost the co-op any money to do this, and I'll reimburse the appropriate people.

 

 

So mundane...

 

One of the more mundane things I have to do each year is to get my car inspected.  It's usually not a headache, but I dread it because of the unknown - what expensive thing could be wrong with my car, and how quickly can it be fixed.

Today, I took my car in for its yearly inspection, along with an oil change, tire rotation, and wiper replacement.  And I got out of there for only the expected price.  No, this is not a negative comment about a bad mechanic.  Instead, it is a positive statement on how a reputable shop services its clients. After spending $2,000-$3,000 in the past year to keep my car in good operating condition, I expected that my car would pass inspection - and it did.

A friend in New Jersey felt that New York's system is much more convenient than the system used there.  That may be true.  But New Jersey's system has a bias towards honesty in its inspections.  The inspection stations have nothing to gain by failing a car.  The mechanics get paid no more or less if a car passes or fails inspection.  Contrast this with New York, where some inspection stations employ unscrupulous people out to make money from cars failing inspection.

What do you think about your state's method of getting unsafe cars off the road?  I'd love to find out....

 

PS: Shortly after I went out for the evening, the TPMS Warning (Tire Pressure Monitoring System) showed up on my car's display.  It looks like I'll be going back to the mechanic sometime next week if this doesn't reset by itself.

If I cooked more at home, I'd be tempted to do this.

 

The above is the cover page from a web site of a firm that sells shares of butchered meat to the public.  This firm, Walden local meat, sells shares which they will have delivered to your home in the NYC area and in New England.

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I first got wind of this firm several years ago, when I received a post card describing their service.  During the pandemic, if I found myself driving to Hudson to go to the former Applestone Meat Company to get butchered meat, I'd have tried out a Walden subscription.  (There is no way I'd have driven to Boston to visit their shop.  Too bad they don't open a second in-person outlet in the NYC area.)  The prices are reasonable for high quality meats, but it might not pay for a person cooking for one to get a subscription.

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During the pandemic, many wholesalers such as Baldor decided to open their doors to the general public.  Many kept minimum order requirements to avoid loss generating transactions.  But it opened up the door for the public to get ingredients usually available only to restaurant chefs.  If the worst of the pandemic restrictions stayed with us preventing us from going shopping in person, I'd have ordered from these firms.  We were very lucky to get back to some "normalcy" within a short few months of quarantine. So I didn't have to change my ways that much.

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One day, I expect that I will try out Walden's services.  That will likely be when I've found someone with whom to settle down.  It'll be nice to eat something healthy again. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was 20 years ago today....

How many of you remember 9/11/01?  Do you remember where you were when the towers were hit?  I certainly do.  Virtually all New Yorkers knew people who were directly affected by the terrorist attack, people who died, as well as survivors.  

I began writing this entry on the day where the last US serviceman/woman was evacuated from Kabul, with the idea that this would be the rare post to appear on the day being discussed. 

 

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Politicians certainly know how to get us into wars - the loss of roughly 3,000 people in one set of attacks was more than enough to justify this war.  But once Bin Laden was killed, it was time to leave.  And leaving a war zone when a nation hasn't really won a war will always be messy.  We saw this in Vietnam, and we just saw this in Afghanistan.  We ended up depending on our enemy to provide security while we exited the theater of war.

Politicians will be long arguing about what Biden did right and what he did wrong.  But the deal to get out was made by Trump (one of the few good things for which I'll give him credit), and left for others to implement.  As for me, on the whole, I think Biden did the right thing.  Yet, there was much room for improvement.  At least we got over 100k people evacuated before the Taliban took over.

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But how many of us remember what it was like before 9/11/01?

20 years ago, airports and other public spaces were relatively free from "Security Theater".  (Much of what we see is meant to impress the public.  What the public doesn't see is really meant to protect us.) One could meet family at the arrivals gate, going through minimal security inspections which were meant to keep people from bringing firearms on planes.  If one wanted, one could go to the airport, go shopping inside (why, I don't know - but Pittsburgh once advertised its airport shopping), and then go home.  I could bring my soft drinks through security, and not have to pay outrageous prices to quench my thirst.  

One of my trips had me traveling from San Antonio, TX to White Plains, NY with a change of planes in Chicago, IL.  However, the plane coming from Denver, CO was late, and I'd never make my connection to New York.  Luckily, the gate agent changed the booking the second leg of my trip fly on on another airline (something not done today), and said that I had 30 minutes to make it from American Airlines' terminal to United airlines' terminal.  Little did I know that I'd be running from the far end of one part of the airport to the far end of another part of the airport, going through security (exit and reentry) in the process with only 2 minutes to spare.  I could not have made this connection less than a decade later.

Two decades ago, corporations were much more lax regarding building security.  I could go to a job interview without having to present any identification when I entered a building.  In the years that followed, I'd eventually have to go through 2 or 3 sets of security checkpoints in one building to get to a job interview.

 

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We were much better off 20 years ago.  But once our image of being secure was punctured, we went crazy trying to restore it - and went to war.  No politician would "man up" and say it's time to "bug out". Americans never want to look weak. Our politicians kept making excuses to justify staying in the war zone.  I am very thankful for our president being smart enough to exit this war, and keep future generations of American servicemen/women from dying in a "forever war".  

 

 

 

PS: I'd love to find out what Joe Haldeman would think of our exit from Afghanistan.

 

PPS: I think you may be interested in this song by Gilbert O'Sullivan:

"All they wanted to say."

So appropriate for 9/11, don't you think?

 

 

 

It was the day after the storm, and I made it into work.

 

This is what parts of Mamaroneck, NY looked like after hurricane/tropical storm Ida came through for its visit.  Much of Lower Westchester could be described as places that "You can't get there from here."  And looking at the picture above, it is easy to understand why this is so.

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Right now, there is a lot of finger pointing going on.  After any major storm, politicians will make a lot of noises and do a lot of nothing.  In the case of Ida, images should be a wake up call that major upgrades to our infrastructure are needed to deal with the effects of global warming.  Unfortunately, this takes money - something we don't have enough of.

My current path to work goes through areas which could get flooded out.  However, I was lucky, as that the only traffic jam I encountered was less than 2 miles away from my office.  Even then, there were no floods blocking my path to work.  Instead, other people's paths to work were blocked in front of me, and the cars going in the opposite direction from me prevented me from speeding off an exit ramp, then making a right turn to make it the last mile to work.  So I drove on the shoulder to do this, and made it to work only 5 minutes late.  Not much for me to get frustrated about. But I can only imagine how it was for the man who hired me - he had to come from Jersey....

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But things could be worse than to have a bad commute to work - One could have had to drive home in the middle of this storm.  There are some people who are not "emergency personnel" (Firemen, Police, Doctors, etc.) who had to be at work and do not have the option to work from home.  An example of this class of worker is a New York City based sportscaster covering an out of town ball game from his hometown ballpark. When the 83 y/o John Sterling left Yankee Stadium after the end of the game against the Angels, he drove home during some of Ida's worst rains.  Due to floods, he got stuck in his car somewhere in Edgewater, NJ. Luckily, Spanish Language announcer Rickie Ricardo (I couldn't but chuckle at the name, given classic TV shows) was able to rescue Sterling safely and deliver him home. 

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Hopefully, my local readers made it through the storm safe and sound, with minimal property damage.

 

Would you have bought your meat from a vending machine?

 

Assuming you were a carnivore like me, would you eat meat that looks and tastes this good?  In my case, I did, and miss the option to buy it direct from the butcher.  Unfortunately, the Applestone meat company recently closed down all of its outlets - shortly after they opened their first Westchester county outlet in Eastchester, NY.

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When I was dating XGFJ, one of the places we'd pass in her neighborhood was the Applestone Meat Company outlet.  There were times that she wanted to buy a good steak (or roast), and didn't want to go to the local supermarket or drive into Kingston or to New Paltz.  I've eaten Applestone's meat, and was willing to drive to either of their first two storefronts during the early days of the pandemic.  (In those early days, no one knew how to be safe. So any place one could shop for food with minimal human contact was a blessing - especially when the meat was this good.)  Later on, I found out that they were opening an Eastchester store, but didn't have the chance to get there before this place closed down.

Years ago, many supermarkets butchered their meats on site.  In the past few years, it became cheaper to butcher meats elsewhere and deliver butchered, wrapped meat directly to stores.  (Some stores kept butchering tools in the stores, so that larger cuts of meat could be sliced down into manageable units for consumer use.)  If you were to go to a Walmart, Aldi or Trader Joe's, all you'd find are prepackaged meats - it's much cheaper and more hygienic to butcher the meats in a central location and deliver them to stores. 

In Japan, they sell almost everything in vending machines, including clothing.  In Germany, they have sausage vending machines (shown above).  So why shouldn't Americans take the next step and sell freshly butchered meat out of vending machines?

Applestone did so.  Sadly, it didn't work out for them.  Knowing what I know about their former product, the meat was expensive - but very good.  If I wanted to cook a true gourmet meal, and wasn't satisfied with the quality of meat from my local supermarket, I'd have gone to Applestone.  This is one shopping option that I'll miss, even though I hardly had the chance to use it.

 

PS: Would you have patronized the BAMN! Automat?.  What about the Brooklyn Dumpling Shop?