The title of this entry may say it all.
I once dated a woman who broke up with me, and then resumed our intimate relationship. (I'm talking about Patty here.) She may have been trying to get my attention, and then again, she may have had second thoughts about what she did after she did it. When I finally broke things off later on, it was several years before we were in contact again. And then, it was because she had a surgical procedure that prevented her brain from being starved of blood. Recently, someone mentioned a symbolic breakup as a tactic for getting the attention of the other partner, and I would advise against it. The partner may assume that the breakup is complete, and prematurely start the process of moving on. In the case of Patty, we were able to reconnect as friends, and we still get together to this day.
Not all exits are permanent, as my experience with Patty shows. However, some exits are permanent. Years ago, I was close friends with a fellow who yearned to be a Lutheran Minister. I was instrumental in his attempts to convince his parents that a career in Medicine, Law, or Accounting wasn't for him. He demonstrated that a degree in Computer Science would always make it possible for him to find work, and his parents didn't protest too loudly when he followed his calling, getting his Doctor of Divinity degree, and set himself up as a local parish's minister. Although his parents are long gone, and I haven't seen him or his wife in over 25 years, I can safely say that they should be proud of what their son has accomplished. Hopefully, I'll be able to take a long weekend at the Jersey Shore and visit him one last time (at his parish) before he retires.
Some exits are unpleasant, as in the case with one of my former friends. I will not go into any of the details here, as I've talked way too much about her in the past. In some of these cases, one wishes s/he could rewrite the past. But that's not possible. These are teachable moments - where one should learn what not to make, so that these kind of exits won't happen again. Recently, I made a comment about one former acquaintance, noting that she spoke and wrote loudly. This was one of the rare times where I wanted to disconnect from someone who could not be a true friend. For the most part, I try to avoid unpleasantness, but it seems to happen no matter what I do.
Most of the people who enter my life enter as a result of some trauma they have experienced, or as a way to deal with some of the stresses they are dealing with. I can say this is true about several of the girlfriends I've dated, but won't go into the details here. Those people who have already gotten their acts together look for someone in a better place than I am. As a result, I'm left to help others deal with their problems. Sometimes, I can do so. Other times, it's too much for me - as in the case of FH. Her problems were related to her personality. Yet, I found her interesting enough to hang out with for the better part of a year.
If you look at the picture at the top of this entry, it is the image of a British artist (Grayson Perry) after being being awarded his CBE title from Prince Charles. I would love to have a woman support me in my endeavors such as his wife (pictured on his immediate right). This couple has been together for years, and have raised a beautiful daughter together. Luckily for me, I have been able to maintain a motley crew of friendships as people enter and exit....
