I was looking forward to some lobster, and I almost missed it.

 

The above picture was taken at the site of a former country club in my area.  Doesn't the place look serene?  Well, the bulk of the property has been converted into a nondescript upper middle class housing development, and this is the only part of the site that looks as it did when I moved here almost 40 years ago.

You might be asking, why was I here to take this photograph?  Well, the answer is related to the picture below:

I've been looking to catch up with one of the food trucks from Cousins Maine Lobster for months now, and this was a golden opportunity I couldn't miss.  One of their many trucks was sited less than 10 minutes from home.  So I decided to go a little out of my way for a bit of lobster and some clam chowder.

I was talking with my friend Valerie on the way home, and overshot my normal exit on the way home to keep from losing the phone connection in a back roads dead spot.  And this made me forget about the reason I was taking this route in the first place.  As a result, I stopped into Chipolte for a burrito.  Yet, I was lucky.  They prepared my order as if to go, and I wasn't happy with the idea of eating it there.  So I brought home half a burrito to eat tomorrow.  While on the way home, I remembered the food truck, and stopped by the former golf course to pick up the bite to eat that I originally wanted.  This was worth my effort.  The clam chowder was good, but the lobster roll was great!  I'll definitely look for this truck again when it's in my area.

After I finished my dinner, I settled down to relax.  First, Vicki called me.  And then TCL called me.  By the time I was done with the phone, it was almost midnight and I had to post this entry.  Luckily, I was already prepared to tell a quick story about the food truck - all I needed to do is find out how good the lobster roll was....

Dinner with the Fun Time Friends

This is not the normal way I enjoy Sake.  However, when a Hibachi chef is squirting it into your mouth, why say "No?"  The Fun Time Friends meetup was in full force tonight, and it was Marian's time to shine.

- - - - - -

My original plans for the day were to go to work, drive home, take 15 minutes to change, then drive to the meetup.  I thought better of it when I remembered that I'd be driving during rush hour, and that a 60 minute drive in off hours would take 90+ minutes during rush hour.  So I started off from my office and was making great time until I reached Stamford - and then the problems began.  First, Google Maps routed me from the Merritt Parkway to I-95.  And then, when I reached the Sherwood Island connector, Maps routed me (and several other people) along some nice side roads to bypass the traffic jam.  Unfortunately, Maps had to put us back on I-95.  But I was a little lucky.  I was able to pull off into a rest area, and then make myself presentable for dinner.

Eventually, I arrived at the meetup, and most of the bunch were early.  At least, this time, I was able to sit with the group's organizer (when she was sitting down at the table).  The organizer doesn't know how good she looks.  Nor, does she know that Mario has seen her personal ad.  It would be a hoot if she swiped right, not knowing that she already has met me in Marian Mode, as had CMF.  A little bit later, the fellow who always wants a picture with me got his picture, and I was free to chat with the two ladies sitting next to me.

- - - - - -

Once dinner was done, I tried to call FH.  Her fax line came on.  About 20 minutes later, she called me - and we were chatting until the line cut out.  However, she got pissed at me because (1) I didn't call back right away, and (2) that she had to call me 20 minutes later.  Who knows what her mood will be when I see her this weekend....

Later on, when I got home, I took some pictures of my SoClean CPAP disinfecting unit.  Seems like a piece of plastic broke, and the lid won't stay shut.  (My workaround is to put a weight on top of the lid.  But I shouldn't have to do this.)  So I wrote to customer support, sending in pictures, and stating that a product shouldn't break after a year's use.  Hopefully, they will agree with me and work with me to get this problem resolved.

 

 

PS: It took several days for SoClean to get back to me.  They asked me for information to see if my unit was under warranty, and told me NOT to use the unit as it might leak ozone.  With a weight on top of the lid, there is no risk of an ozone leak.  And I thought that it would make some sense to use a Velcro strip to hold the lid down if I don't want to use a weight on top of the lid.

So I will continue using the unit AND pressure them for a replacement if I need to do so.  However, if I don't get a replacement unit, I will pester the CEO of the firm a little, so that s/he knows I am a very unhappy customer.

Sometimes, the best thing to do or say is nothing.

 

A philosophy which usually works for me is

When in doubt, do or say nothing.

All too often when I find that I "need" to act, I haven't thought enough things out.  This is what caused me to give the ex the "evidence" she needed to blackball me from a particular meetup group.  If I had done or said nothing, she wouldn't have been able to screw me.

Why do I mention this?

Recently, I caught myself thinking of a conversation I had with my ex that referenced the nagging issue of the meetup groups.  Instead of giving her any ammunition, I said nothing.  I can always say something later on when something really needs to be said.

Do I know if the ex is reading this blog?  I must assume: Yes.  So I offer some advice.  The closer you are (or have been) to someone who writes a diary, the more you should resist the temptation to read it.  If you do, you might find out things about yourself that you don't like or can't accept.

Sadly, I did say too much in a now deleted entry. And for this I am sorry.

- - - - - -

A year and a half ago, I lost FCP as a friend, in part because she decided to read this blog and find out what I really thought about her.  Since I was tired of her drama, this was not a great loss.  But losing the girlfriend afterwards was like a sucker punch to the gut.  At least, in the battle we fought last year, I got my punches in.  If I felt like s--t, she did too.  Unlike her, I will say that this pain could have been avoided.

It's just too bad that we haven't yet found a way to be real friends who meet now and then. And now, I doubt we ever will because of being too open with who I am.

 

PS: The original version of this entry was much longer.  I took my advice in its editing.

Right now, I'm glad I have my job

 

If it weren't for having a job, I would be raiding my savings account for much more money than I've needed to do this year.  It's not the job I want to keep forever.  Instead, it's the kind of job to keep until I have something better to do.

It's nice being able to go to work as Marian on a regular basis.  Yet, this job does not allow the social engagement I would like.  Yet, I can't complain.  The job is exactly as was presented to me.  And I'll do it to keep from draining savings.  If a travel opportunity opens up to me, I may leave the job so that I can take my trip.

There's not much I can do to make my job more interesting.  I think of it as a form of electronic "whack a mole".  It lulls me to sleep when I'm tired, and I need to make sure I have my coffee before starting work.  By the end of the day, my body clock is waking the body up, so that it can go home safely.  My boss could put me in a different area.  Yet, I think he's trying to be nice to me by giving me an easy job to do.  No complaints will come from my area of the peanut gallery.

- - - - - -

The other day, FH wondered why I don't buy a new car.  The answer is simple.  I hate draining my savings accounts when I am living on an artificially low income.  TCL understands this quite well, even though she's on a tighter budget than I am.  I expect that by this time next year, I'll be looking at buying that new car.  Will it be a used car, like Vicki might get?  Or, will it be a new car, like I usually get?  Either way, I will need reliable transportation while working and while dating.

This job gives me way too much time to think.  I have to remind myself to focus on other things when my thoughts go where they would likely make me sad or angry.  Here, I'm glad that I've been listening to a series of TV shows dedicated to Meditation.  I've found that they relax me enough to fall asleep AND that they teach me certain coping skills I need to short circuit the cycle of anger and sadness.

- - - - - -

Now that the pandemic is easing off, too many people will be rushing to get out and about.  This is the time that I may be avoiding the growing crowds, as I still expect another wave of the pandemic to cause many of us grief.  Instead, I'll stay inside, work as hard as possible, and possibly save some money for future travel.

I won't go into details, but....

 

This will be a short entry to replace the one I had originally posted.  I pissed off someone who I didn't want to piss off because of another communication failure between us.  The way we are going, I'm afraid we might never speak again.  And that's a shame.  Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa, Mea Maxima Culpa.

Those of you who saw the original entry will understand what happened.  Those of you who didn't, well - I won't go into things here.  All I can say is that I hope we can patch things up.....

Thinking about my friend, WDS

(If you look carefully, WDS is reflected as behind his dog.)

The other day, I wrote about WDS's latest response to an email of mine.  So I responded with another email of my own:

WDS, 

1. I understand that there are no promises. And I'm not a person who deals in false hopes.
2. I'm glad you are not in a care home. Do you have anyone looking in on you now and then? I have similar values as you do regarding the quality of life. It was important to me that I was there to support you in your time of need, and would do that again.
3. Can you take care of any paperwork that comes your way? Do you have someone who will contact your friends and family (I only know of a half sibling of yours) when the time comes?

Remember that I will support you in the decisions you make. If you need someone to come down for a short while to help, I will do so.

Please keep me up to date on things.... Although we haven't been in the same place in years, I still consider you among my best friends.

Mario

I'm hoping that WDS understands all of what I'm trying to say.

WDS is an atheist. So saying like "my thoughts and prayers are with you" would be an insult, as he thinks that religion and worship are worthless. The fact that he is in his rented home is important to me, as it means he can control his destiny to some extent. However, I am concerned about his ability to handle paperwork, as he lost part of the brain which controls speech and language. It has also affected to use the right side of his body. Since I remember him being right handed, the effects of the stroke would be enough to make me want to take a long dirt nap. So, I can only imagine what a fitness conscious person like WDS must be feeling right now.

I'll miss WDS, although we haven't seen each other in years.  When I got the short term job at the payments firm, WDS gifted me a top of the line iPad. He made sure I couldn't refuse his gift.  There are many more things I might want to enumerate, but I won't do so right now.  Instead, I only want for him to go into the dark unknown in the way he chooses to go.  Hopefully, he'll be able to do that.  From what I can tell by the following reply, I think he'll get what he wishes.

A former member of the dog club calls me daily or twice daily and comes once a week.
Yes, I can take care of paper work.

Thank you

This is all I need to know.  I asked if he wanted me to call him, but I think he'll say No.  So in many ways, I think this will be the last communication I have with my old friend.

 

 

Another visit to Mavis, more frustration, followed by dinner with someone new.

This is the last part which needs to get installed for my car's exhaust system to be complete.  However, when I arrived at Mavis bright and early this morning, they didn't have the part.  If the car wasn't driveable, I would be very mad.  As it is, I am quite upset.  No, I am not upset at the people at Mavis, as they are upset as well.  I am upset at a supply chain which has failed at a critical moment for me.

I am told that Covid-19 has affected a lot of supply chains around the world.  Couple this with the recent supply chain problem caused by a container ship blocking the Suez Canal, and one can start building a case for regionalization in addition to globalization.  When the pandemic first hit, no one knew how much of our medical supply chain was sourced from China.  I am not at odds with David Ricardo who suggested that there is mutual national benefit from trade even if one country is more competitive in every area than its trading counterpart and that a nation should concentrate resources only in industries where it has a comparative advantage. However, it also makes sense for regions to be moderately self sufficient during a pandemic.  Yet, one can go way too far with this idea, such as with North Korea's idea of Juche. A nation (or region) must find a happy medium, so that when many international borders have to be shut down, enough commerce can take place, in order to minimize the disruptions that result from closed borders and broken supply chains.

In my case, a minor supply chain breakdown is interfering with a visit to see FH at her friend's place.  The part never made it to Mavis at 9:00 as promised.  It arrived 4 hours late. As a result, the repair could not be completed early enough to allow me to make it to FH's friend on time.  And when I started to leave for Long Island to meet up with FH for an early dinner, she texted me to say that she was tired and that we should wait until next weekend to get together.  At that point, I started on a long drive, and decided to call FCM to say hello.  This hello ended up allowing us to get together for dinner, and chatting well into the evening.  Even though there are some warning signs, I feel good enough about FCM to consider a second get together.

 

PS: The next day FCM sent me a message that makes me feel we will stay in the "Friend Zone."  And that's OK with me, as she was a low priority dating prospect.