Wednesday, July 1, 2020

Life gets even crazier

Most people who know me are aware that I am an avid Marxist.  No, not in the economic sense, but in the comedic sense.  Of the brothers, I would have love to have known both Groucho and Harpo - but for very different reasons.  Groucho was an underappreciated wit, and a man who, sad as it is, didn't seem to have a happy home life.  Harpo was the exact opposite.  He was a man who was cherished by all - including his wife and children.  No one in show business ever had a bad word to say about him.  If I had to choose between these two brothers, I'd have picked Harpo as a friend.

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Casual readers may be wondering why I start off this entry with a mention of the Marx Brothers. Well, the answer to this is that my life seems to be like a script from one of their movies - a thin plot coupled with a lot of insanity.

In my case, things with XGFJ may be coming to a head.  A while back, she threatened to expose me to my family.  But I blunted that threat.  The other day, I signed up for a meetup with "her" dinner group, and she signed up for one with mine shortly afterwards.  At the same time, a mutual friend of ours (who might be interested in dating me) signed up for the same dinner.  I told her that I'd be attending as a female, and she didn't mind.  (I'll bet she knows a little bit more about XGFJ's views than she wants to let on, as I caught her in a statement that XGFJ made to me.)  So, to have someone I could count on in my corner, Vicki decided to join me for this dinner with "my" group.

Sadly, I have to plan for the possibility of XGFJ going ballistic.  She threatened to out me earlier in the year for attending any of the groups - and refused to work with me on a reasonable accommodation for her discomfort in seeing me.  Now that I have blunted her weapon, I feel no reason to accommodate her feelings.  She left me because I was putting my female side more and more in public, thinking I was lost in a "pink fog".  This was never the case.  But without her making her real issue understood to me, she gave up on a relationship that could have worked.  Now that the relationship is defunct, everything I might have done for her while in a relationship is off the table.  And that bothers her in the extreme.

At virtually all meetups I have attended in the recent past, I have attended them all as a female.  It wouldn't make any sense to confuse people by showing up as a male and letting things slip up.  (What would happen if I referenced something that only that person and my feminine persona would know?)  However, I have also signed up for meetup groups as my male persona, as a male presence would be required there.  (Think of singles mixers, etc.) Two of those groups are known to XGFJ, as I attended them with her early on in our relationship. And my presence in any of these groups bothers XGFJ.

So what would you do in my size 13-W shoes?

PS: Our mutual friend also signed up for the theater group that XGFJ didn't want me to attend. Again, she'll be seeing me in female presentation, so I doubt she has as many problems with it as XGFJ.  Keep your fingers crossed!

Sunday, June 28, 2020

Miscellaneous notes from the home front

This Tuesday, I took the day off from work and walked another 2.5 miles (1.25 each way) on the Harlem Valley Rail Trail.  As usual, I took some photos and captured some "MOOving" images.  This post is my way of documenting some of the little things that have occurred that I felt worth documenting....

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On a recent trip to the Walden-Walkill Rail Trail, I met two ladies cycling on the trail.  We spoke for a while about the history of the trail and why there is a break in the trail.  Then one of them mentioned that she was gay and that she was riding with her partner.  That didn't bother me, I wasn't out to pick either of them up.  But it did give me an opportunity to show them a picture of me in female mode.  At that point, any awkwardness was relieved, and I waved them off as they rode back to their starting point.

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Recently, the host and hostess of our Thursday game nights wanted to try out some online gaming platforms.  So several of us logged on one Friday evening and had a nice time.  Too bad we weren't doing this during the worst of the quarantine.

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I think I will need to set up a new OK Cupid profile.  It's not that the old ones are bad.  It's that I've clicked through everyone possible, swiping right as needed.  Instead of doing this, I should have written messages to the ladies I am interested in, using a strategy similar to that which I'd use when writing cover letters and resumes - customization.  We'll see what happens if I bother to do this.

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Thinking of dating, I finally met a woman I've been chatting with from Forest Hills.  She's a nice gal, and it might be worth the effort to date her.  So I'll try to arrange another get together soon.

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Some of my readers might know that my ex girlfriend (XGFJ) had a big problem with the idea of me attending any of her meetup groups' gatherings.  She tried to blackmail me by threatening to expose me to my family as Transgender, so that I wouldn't attend.  Recently, I attended a gathering of "her" live music group (I knew the organizer from "my" dinner group) and had a nice time.  The ex hadn't gotten livid yet.  She now wanted to "negotiate" how we'd share our groups.  To me, that opportunity ended with her blackmail attempt.  The other day, "her" dinner group opened up to newcomers.  I signed up, and saw the following in a Facebook message:

I have said this before but you ignored what I said. We need to talk about you going to my meet up groups. You have joined 17 of my meet up groups. There are plenty of other meet up groups that you can join especially going south in Westchester.

Although I never attended that group's meeting due to XGFJ's blackballing me, I accomplished what I wanted - I sent a message saying that I no longer need to care what she thinks anymore. 

I won't go into all the crap that occurred over the past few months, but I believe that even though she claimed to want a friendship after the breakup, her actions said otherwise.  Without any relationship, I feel no obligation not to attend meetings in the 4 groups where our interests intersect - Dining, Music, Theater, and Hiking.  I'm taking Vicki's advice, and signing up for any event I want to attend, not worrying about XGFJ's feelings about my attendance. There is at least one event where we are booked to be at the same place at the same time.  I wonder if she'll bug out, as she did for a gathering of the live music group.

Yet... I wouldn't mind it if we could be friends again.  But I doubt that she wants a friendship. She can not see me as a male without thinking of me as a female.  Sadly, that makes her extremely uncomfortable, and probably makes a friendship impossible. 

Norwegian Fjord Cruise Vacation - 06/28/24 (Zeebrugge, Belgium)

Today is our last stop in mainland Europe, and our last shore excursion.  We have been choosing relatively low energy shore excursions, as n...