Wednesday, October 7, 2020

Being single isn't all it's cracked up to be.

As much as I wish some of my previous relationships could have lasted, I'm better for them having ended.  Some of these women couldn't accept me for who and what I was.  Others wanted to change me into something they wanted.  And still some others didn't have what it took to have a good relationship.  In my case, I've dealt with all of these types, and am still looking for someone who meets my unique needs.

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In the past year, I started to explore life more in Marian Mode, and I've grown to like who I've become much more than the person I was before.  Yes, I still have all the flaws and weaknesses I had before.  But I am much more comfortable with them now.  Although I have lost a close friend due to my screw-ups, have had a nasty break up with a former girlfriend, lost my father due to the pandemic, I'm starting to come out on the other side of things stronger than I was before.

Although I enjoy not having to make my apartment presentable for special visitors, I miss having that "regular visitor" coming to my place (or me to her place) to share time with.  The strange part of my recent experience is that I felt lonely for the first few months after my recent breakup, but I don't miss her anymore.  The bitterness triggered (and documented before in this blog) burnt away any affection I had towards this person.  And that's a shame for both of us.

Recently, I've dated several ladies, most of which know that I go out as Marian and have a good time while out.  One of these ladies may be trying to rush into a relationship with me, and that is making me wonder what is wrong that I'm not noticing.  Not having either of the close friends I had last year leaves me to figure this out all on my own.  And therein lies a problem that all single people face: Who can you turn to when important decisions must be made?  If one has close friends, it's easy. But, if one is rebuilding a network of friends, this is another problem to be dealt with.  There is only so much one can dump on an acquaintance.

When I was married, I never had to worry about this.  I had a wife, and she would have to deal with some of the consequences of any bad decision I made.  So she always had some input in the form of advice.  Sadly, like the cat she said "was mine", I didn't appreciate her enough while she was alive. She was one of the two people to whom I wish I had said "I love you" on a frequent basis.  But I can't and won't live in the past.

Do I wish I still had someone special to care for?  Yes.  But until (or if) she comes along, I'll just have to get by.  Hopefully, a second wave of the pandemic won't get in the way of my search....

Sunday, October 4, 2020

White Post Farms

Aren't these the cutest looking critters?  If they could be domesticated as house pets, they'd be a rival to cats and dogs.  But I digress.  Today, I'm writing about a weekend I had with the lady from Forest Hills and her daughter.

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I was supposed to order the tickets for this weekend event Thursday evening.  Due to a personal screw-up (which I'll blame on my own ambivalence about going further with this relationship), I couldn't get the 1:30 pm tickets for Sunday afternoon that I planned to buy.  Instead, I ended up buying tickets for 3:00 pm, and doing a big Mea Culpa for my screw-up.

Sunday came, and I drove to FH's place, picking up her and her daughter.  FH is a middle aged lady, while her daughter is a young adult whose voice makes her sound like a teenager.  (The daughter still has a lot of growing up to do, and I'm confident in her ability to make young adult mistakes and recover from them.)  So we drove to the McDonald's in New Hyde Park, where they saw one of the fanciest looking fast food joints they will ever visit.

Wouldn't you agree with me about this McDonald's?  When the town had its dispute with McDonald's regarding the potential tear down of the building, both sides came to an agreement to preserve it.  (Note: My mom was interviewed by a local TV station about this building and McDonald's.)  As much as I'd have like to have seen a full historic restoration of the building, I am happy to see it returned to life - even if it is a McDonald's.

We reached White Post Farms around 3 pm, and proceeded to go inside.  This is an experience best enjoyed by a (Grand)parent and younger children.  But we had fun there, in spite of the 80+ degree weather.  (Who'd have thought it'd be this warm at the end of September?) 

As you can see, this place has animals that the average suburban child will not see outside a traditional zoo.  And they can get up close to many, as a good number of these animals would be perfect in a typical petting zoo. 

It was really nice to see FH's daughter enjoying herself at the farm.  Hopefully, if we were to go there again, the weather will be a little bit more comfortable - I felt way too warm, even in a short sleeve shirt.

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Tomorrow, I go back to Marian mode.  It'll be nice to get back into a comfortable dress again!

Norwegian Fjord Cruise Vacation - 06/28/24 (Zeebrugge, Belgium)

Today is our last stop in mainland Europe, and our last shore excursion.  We have been choosing relatively low energy shore excursions, as n...