Sometimes, I don't have that much to say of interest.

 

As I sit here, the TV is playing in the background and I am not paying any attention to it.  It is making "familiar" noises, and that relaxes me.  Along with the presence of RQS on the sofa, I am doing well.  So I was having a big problem - what do I have to say today?

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Being transgender or bi-gendered doesn't have to be the biggest factor in one's life.  Whether I go out as Mario or Marian makes little difference to who I am inside my body.  However, it does affect how I interact with people.  For example, I have met a woman in the supermarket who brought up the topic of "change of life" with me - something which would be inconceivable had I been presenting as Mario at the time.  One of my closest friends (who knew me first as Mario) brought up the topic of her bladder control pads - something that I doubt that she'd mention to her husband.  She thinks of me more as a woman than as a biological male.  And even my niece brought up the subject of her monthly cycle when we were at a museum together a few years ago.Gender Communication Taboos,

But what is it that keeps women and men from talking about such intimate things?  I had a conversation with someone a year ago, and she said that most men wouldn't bother asking.  Although that's true, there is a deeper reason for this happening.  I think that women expect that the men in their lives should be more curious, while men are too embarrassed to ask about such things due to the social taboos we have in our society.  Yes, men may know about women having periods.  But do they know what a woman goes through?  Do women even think that men would listen if they opened up conversations like these?  I feel that many people feel that it is easier to avoid opening up "embarrassing conversations" rather than to communicate.  And this leads to ignorance, misconceptions and ill feelings.

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So, did I have something of interest to say today?  I don't know.  But I just had to maintain the discipline of having something to say each day....

An unplanned dinner with RQS and Vicki

 

Food - Our lives revolve around its consumption, simply because we need to eat now and then. Today, I texted Vicki, and the end result was a nice meal for the 3 of us (and ice cream afterwards).

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RQS and I didn't want to deal with the hot weather.  But we had to go out to pick up some items for the bathroom at Walmart.  So I got dressed in the dress I bought at Universal Standard on Thursday and the two of us headed over to Mohegan Lake. where the two of us planned to get a quick snack, then shop before going to meet Vicki at Lefteris Gyro.  

Of course things didn't work out the way we expected.  We were very hungry when we reached Mickey D's, and were surprised to find the place was closed - the place had lost all power, and couldn't serve any customers.  This meant we had to get our snack elsewhere, and that meant driving over to Taco Bell.  Driving there, I realized that we wouldn't be shopping at Walmart, as we wouldn't have enough time to be sure to meet Vicki at 6:00 pm.  Instead, we drove straight to Mt. Kisco, where we spent our time shopping at Target for the things we planned to get elsewhere.  By doing this, we made it to the restaurant at 6:00 pm, and were on time for dinner.

Upon entering the restaurant, I missed Vicki, as she was in a corner on the left and I was focusing on the right.  After that minor snafu, we settled down to enjoy a good dinner. One of the things I noted was that Vicki was dressed much more casually than in the past. Post-exercise wear for some has a look like wearing PJ's.  Yet, she should be proud of all the weight she has lost to be able to look good in this clothing.  As for me, I'll stick with my dresses, as they hide parts of my body that I want to de-emphasize. Although I knew I was going to come home with leftovers, I didn't know how much I'd be bringing home!  Conversation flowed naturally, as Vicki, RQS and I were all relaxed with each of us having something to share and to take home from the conversation.  (This isn't always the case, given the occasional imbalances we have to talk about certain subjects.) 

All too soon, it was time to brave the weather and make it down to Ben & Jerry's for dessert - Ice Cream.  Although there are a few B&J's ice cream shops scattered over the country, this is the only one I know that's close to the New York City area.  Even more surprising, this would be the first time I've stopped here in over 40 years of living here.  So I knew that I was in for a treat.  One glitch - when moving a table out to seat the three of us, my sundae fell on the floor and had to be replaced.

As we left the ice cream shop, the heavens started to open up,  Even though we were avoiding the heat and rain during the day, we were able to make a good day out of something that could have been crappy.  In the end, this was the big advantage of being outside of NYC this weekend.  

 

Another long, hot weekend was started early.

 

RQS and I discussed coming up early this weekend.  Although the "Lobster Truck" would be elsewhere, I was able to entice her to come up a day early with oysters - 12 Oysters for $12 at Whole Foods on Fridays between 2 and 5 pm.  So we made plans for her to meet me at Grand Central Terminal after I went to Universal Standard's Sample Sale.

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I got dressed in a comfortable dress on Thursday,  then left my house around noon, proceeding to Manhattan on the 12:42 pm train.  When the train got into Grand Central around 1:45 pm, we got delayed because the train couldn't make it al the way into the station, and had to discharge passengers through the first two cars of the train.  I was totally exhausted by the time I made it to Universal Standard.  (The heat both under and above ground was gruesome, and I was a little dehydrated by this point.)  So, after stopping for some air conditioned comfort, I went upstairs to do some shopping.

Once I was upstairs, I was greeted by a staffer who has seen me at several of the sample sales.  Then, I proceeded to browse the racks to find things I might be interested in.  As much as most of the stuff wasn't worth my interest, I found two items of worth: A blue sleeveless dress (that I wasn't sure that I should buy) and a pair of leggings that I could always wear when the weather gets cooler.  $75 later, I was out of there with garments that would normally sell for over $175 ($40 for the dress and $35 for the leggings)

Leaving the store, I decided to take the East Side local to Brooklyn Bridge, then back uptown to Grand Central.  This way, I could be assured to have a seat in an air conditioned car on its way uptown.  (The last thing I want to do is stand on a subway car being delayed due to problems ahead of us.)  While on my way, I found that RQS was 45 minutes behind me, so I knew I'd have to wait for her at Grand Central.

Around 3:30 pm, I arrived at Grand Central and waited for RQS to arrive, then we took the train back to Croton.  Since there was nothing ready for us to cook, we picked up some food at Trader Joe's and had dinner a little later.

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Friday came, and the focus of the day was to have oysters at Whole Foods.  So, I donned the blue dress I bought the day before, and we drove to Chappaqua.  RQS thought we were going to White Plains, and I wanted to see what it was like on the former Reader's Digest campus.  We got there at 2:30 pm, and the supply of oysters was already starting to run out.  $24 later, we were eating oysters normally selling for twice the price - and they were yummy!  If scheduling works out, we may make this a semi-regular part of our routine.

Once done with our meal, it was off to the jewelers to have a few links taken out of her watch band.  And then, we drove to Cold Spring for Ice Cream before returning home for the night.

Guess where I'll be going soon....? (And, NO, it's not another cruise.)

 

By the time you read this, the Universal Standard sample sale will be over.  To its loyal customers, Universal Standard made many of its current sample pieces available online, so that they could clear out some inventory.  This T-Girl loves the quality of the store's products, and can only wish I had a nicer body on which to wear their garments.

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My late wife would be laughing at me, as I have become quite a clothes horse.  It's nice to receive a new article of clothing in the mail (or from Amazon, UPS, or FedEx) and have a chance to wear it.  Unlike my late wife, I tend to wear the stuff I buy - especially now that I'm buying clothes of a higher quality (preferably at a deep discount).  When I pass, I don't expect that there will be any garments in my closet that still have price tags, as most will have been worn several times.

As I've mentioned in prior entries, I have bought some exercise wear, so that I can go out walking and not get my good clothes ruined by sweat. I have also bought some nice casual clothes to wear on warm days - and will be wearing them soon.  But the question remains: what should this T-Girl wear in colder weather?  Fewer women are wearing dresses in cool weather than they did when I was a kid, and I don't want to stand out - I want to blend in with the other women around me.

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On other matters, RQS and I were discussing the personalities of our Texas friends.  One of these friends is very observant, saying relatively little, but shows quite a bit of confidence.  The other shows her rough edges, and I'd love to help her smooth them out.  But unless asked, I'll keep my mouth shut and give advice only when asked for.

One of these days, I'd like to be presentable enough to spend the day in their area as Marian, and then revert to my male presentation for maximum safety.  This might mean bringing a little bit of both male and female wardrobes with me if I were to visit, and then switch between modes only for that part of the trip.  First, I want to see a Democrat elected as Governor again in that state....

This brings me to politics.  We're seeing a snow motion coup being staged by the GOP, with Trump as their charismatic leader.  What frightens me is that the people who'll being him to power will not be able to control the beast they have unchained.  We've seen this scenario 90 years ago in Central Europe, and I'm afraid it might happen here.  If the worst happens, Canada will only be a way stop for me, as I want to get completely out of Dodge before High Noon.  I wonder how many people will be able to make the last train out....

Boy, did I need sleep! But I wouldn't have done too much anyway.

 

Given that my nails were done last week, I plan to stay in Marian Mode as long as my polish holds out.  That means at lease another week in comfortable dresses during this heat wave we're expecting this week. Although I may touch up my nails during the week, I figure that I won't have to remove my nail polish until the week after next when I meet with the sleep doctor.

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This morning, I got to sleep at 2:00 am, woke up at 7:00 am, went back to bed around 9:30 am, and finally got out of bed around 2:30 pm. If you add up all the hours of sleep, I probably got around 10 hours of good sleep.  RQS and I had a text conversation while she was on the train back to NYC, and I found out more details of a drive home that made me want to prevent RQS from ever being a passenger in a car that has that friend as a driver.  (Let's just say that Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder have much more common drivers' sense than this friend has when behind the wheel.

By the time I got out of the house, it was too late for me to stop by the Greek restaurant to find out whether I left a sweater there last week.  So, after a second call from TCL for the day, I decided to go to hell with myself and visit the Chinese Buffet.  This was a mistake for 2 reasons: (1) Temptation to eat too much, and (2) the food has gotten worse since the last time I visited the place.  I should have gone for pizza....

On the way back from the buffet, it was time to call RQS before she went to sleep.  We continued over voice the conversation we were having via text messages.  And then, we started to figure out which restaurant we'll be eating at when we go to NYC Restaurant week.

Did I do much of note today?  No!  But I did catch up a little on my sleep.  So I don't feel guilty.  Maybe I should feel guilty about buying a dress from Target and another exercise dress from Macy's.  Couple this with a pair of culottes from Universal Standard that will arrive tomorrow, and I will need to figure out what I want to prune from my closet and put in a donation bag....

Skipping out on a meetup and making new plans.

 

In the past, when in my "Pink Fog", I experimented with my gender presentation and went to meetups geared to women.  I was accepted, though most knew I was TG.  Yet, after a bad experience or two, I decided to skip out on a women's meetup. As much as I could be reacting out of fear, I also feel that I've been eating out way too often, and need to do something else other than meeting new acquaintances.  This means that I again had the option to go into NYC and see a play while RQS is away for the weekend.

Did I go to the play on Friday?  No. Although I woke up early enough to go out and take a 1 mile walk, I stayed inside much of the day, and went out only to buy some essentials at the local BJ's Wholesale Club.  That's where I found out that my reproduced card with my Marian picture didn't work.  (This was a planned test of the reproduction, as I had the good card with Mario's picture on me.)  Since I no longer have the card with my Marian image that works (it was stolen while I was in Chicago last year), I'll have to bite the bullet and announce that I am trans to get an official card with Marian's picture and name on it.

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Saturday came, and I took my time on getting up.  Although there are two full loads of laundry to be done, I've had no energy to do them.  Instead, I decided to migrate most of my full resolution photos to be backed up in Amazon Photos, so that I can make space on Google photos for new pictures.  This has been a very time consuming process, as I have to upload photo organization and information from my computer's hard drive to create albums in Amazon photos.  By midday, less than half of my photos were in organized Amazon photo folders.  At least, this is only a time consuming task that will take several days to complete.

Later in the day, I decided to go and see an Off Broadway play.  Instead of seeing "Celino v. Barnes" like I planned (the evening performance was sold out), I chose to see "Someone Spectacular" in its place.  (If I had thought more, I'd have gone to see Blue Man Group and saved "Someone Spectacular" for when RQS is back home.  But I digress....)  

I purchased my ticket online, then headed down to NYC with only a few minutes to spare.  The 4:52 pm train gave me 2 hours in which I could find something to eat, then make it to the theater.  Normally, I would have no problem leaving Grand Central at 7:00 pm, taking a crosstown bus to make an 8:00 pm performance.  So I went downstairs for a bite to eat, then listened to a busker perform "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy" on his horn.  However, the bus I took was overcrowded and took almost 45 minutes to make it to 10th avenue from Grand Central (4th Avenue/Park Avenue).  For those not familiar with New York City, that's a speed of 1.33 miles per hour!  NYC should be ashamed for rushing the extension of the Flushing line (the #7 train) to Hudson Yards without having a 10th Avenue stop.  In the rush to get the job done "on time" for political purposes only, we lost a much needed stop on the West Side that would serve some Off Broadway theaters and get people onto faster subsurface transit.

Eventually, I found myself in front of the theater and picked up my ticket.  A few minutes later, and I was seated for the play.  Now, the opening 10 minutes has the cast fiddling around, moving chairs and things, killing time before their grief therapist is to arrive.  But the therapist never arrives, and here the real play truly begins.  If one has been to group therapy, especially Grief therapy, then the situations of each of the characters will seem very familiar.  So when the play starts having the characters start baring their souls, the play becomes both funny and serious at the same time.  I'm not going to spoil this play by giving out any more details.  But I highly recommend seeing this play if you are in the NYC area.

When I got out of the theater, I noticed that the crosstown buses were running every 15-20 minutes or so.  Instead of waiting and missing my train to Croton, I walked the 2 long blocks to 8th Avenue, where I made the big mistake of entering the subway system to walk the last block over to 7th Avenue where I could catch the shuttle to Grand Central.  I must have walked up and down stairs equivalent to that of a 4-5 story building while walking that last block.  (But I did get my workout for the day!)  Luckily, I made it to Grand Central with 15 minutes to catch my train.

On the way home, I had a texting conversation with RQS regarding the party she attended in Boston.  I won't go into too much, save that I am concerned about RQS being in a car when her friend is driving due to her questionable judgement.  Hopefully, RQS can find polite ways to tell this friend NOT to drive when she's partied for too long....

Another Game Night

 

I had two things on the docket: Having lunch with my friend from the census, then going to Game Night later on in the evening.  Given my energy level as of late, I'd have rather skipped both.  But I'm glad I didn't do so....

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In hot weather, I get very uncomfortable wearing my wigs.  As a transgender person, the male hormones that flowed through my body for years have poisoned the hair follicles on my head.  In short, my male pattern baldness has forced me to wear wigs when presenting as female.  So I try to stay in air conditioned comfort during the summer.  Today, I was able to do so.

Waking up way before the alarm sounded, I knew that I would need to fall asleep early, or to take a nap sometime during the afternoon.  So I decided to get up and take care of some things before getting showered, made up, and dressed to go out for lunch at a nearby Mexican restaurant suggested by my friend.

When I arrived at the restaurant, it had its normal lunch crowd.  So, I took a seat and waited for my friend.  She texted me to tell me that she was going to be late - she had forgotten to put in her contact lenses, and had to go back inside the house to take care of things.  After 5-10 minutes, my friend arrived.  I told her all about my Norway cruise, and our plans to visit Alaska next year.  She then told me all about her trip to Vegas to celebrate her son's 21st birthday, as well as how gambling comps have paid for some of the cruises she has taken and for spectacular rooms in hotels - one of which was a suite with a pool table in it.  (Hopefully, my friend won't mind me saying this much about her.)  All too soon, lunch ended and we made plans for next month.

I went home for a while, and then got ready for game night.  This was a time I could have easily have stayed home and caught up on my sleep.  Instead, I rushed down to Yonkers and was late for the first game of the night.  (It was only designed for 4 players, and I would have been the 5th.)  So I waited until the next game was played, and enjoyed that.  Things started to break up around 10:00 pm, and I couldn't wait to get home to sleep - and I was out within 1 1/2 hours.