By the time you read this, I'll have returned from a cruise

 

As most of my readers know, I write blog entries between 7 and 14 days before they are made available to my readers.  Soon, I'll be posting a record of my most recent California cruise which sails from Los Angeles to San Francisco, Avalon (Catalina Island, CA), San Diego, and Ensenada Mexico before returning to Los Angeles. When I decided on taking this cruise, I had hoped to visit my uncle in his Los Angeles nursing home.  Sadly, he died 11 days before the cruise.  Since it was way too late to cancel the cruise, I decided to go on it anyway - if only to have 9+ days in a row where I could present as Marian and not Mario.  

Right now, I plan to enjoy a full day in Los Angeles, not knowing what I'll be doing.  I've found that my cell phone has NFC, so that I can use Google Wallet to pay for trips on LA's mass transit system.  So, I won't be needing to use Ubers to get around in the daytime.  (I'll still need to use them at night, as I don't want to inadvertently travel through high crime areas after dark.)  For the times I'm near the hotel, I might bring a swimsuit, so that I can get a tan near the pool.

In many ways, San Francisco is like a second home that I stayed in for only a short while.  So, if I can, I'll visit the place where I scattered my late wife's ashes before returning to the cruise ship.  Catalina Island will be new to me, and I'm not sure of what to do there.  But, I'll be visiting RQS's cousin in San Diego.  This is something I look forward to, as this will be the first of RQS's relatives to meet me as Marian,

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this trip will bring me only pleasant memories.  I'll let you know when I start writing posts upon my return.

Universal Standard - How quickly things sold out.

 

The other day, I visited Universal Standard's showroom to look at their new Linen Collection.  As much as I wanted to buy several items, I deferred any decision because I wasn't sure if I wanted to spend several hundred dollars on three garments.  By the time I made my decision (less than a week later) to buy two of these garments, they were listed as being sold out.  Were these limited edition pieces?  I don't know.  But I intend to make another appointment at their showroom the next time a new collection is made available.

This weekend, I plan to visit the same store for their sample sale.  I expect it to be chaotic, where cisgender females will likely strip to their undies to try on some of the garments put out for final sale.  As for me, I'll be wearing a unitard under a duster, so that I can try on clothes without stripping down to my unmentionables.  (This will be he same thing I'll wear when going to Flax's "Barn Sale" next month.)  Hopefully, this trip will be a worthwhile use of my time....

HVRW Restaurant Week - Le Provincal w. Vicki

 

Hudson Valley Restaurant week (HVRW).  It comes twice each year, and I try to have at least one fancy dinner with Vicki each time it comes by.

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As you would expect, I usually present myself as Marian when dining with Vicki.  During HVRW, I always try to dress up a little when going to nice restaurants, and I made sure that I was wearing a nice dress with stockings (actually, tights) when she picked me up.  (I rarely present as a male when with Vicki.) Tonight's dinner was at Le Provincal, a French bistro in Mamaroneck. This is one of our go-to places for French food, but one we rarely eat at because of its normal price.  HVRW makes this place affordable to us, as we would likely spend close to $200 for a meal for two.

Vicki drives differently than I do, and this is not a criticism or compliment.  Like me, she tries to drive safely, but I noticed the differences in driving style, as I was a passenger for this trip.  Arriving in Mamaroneck, Vicki moved close to the center of the street so she could slide into a parking spot both quickly and easily.  However, some woman (Vicki used another word) decided to slide in between her and the cars to her right, stealing the spot from Vicki.  I looked at the driver, and I noticed that she was likely an immigrant from a place where cutting into lines was accepted, and that there would be no gain from arguing with a person who is that inconsiderate.  Vicki wanted to block this woman from getting to the parking spot, and I wanted to get another packing spot which would likely open up near the restaurant.  Eventually, Vicki relented, and we got a spot much closer to the restaurant than the first spot was.

Dinner was excellent (as usual), but the wait staff we expected to see was off for the night.  The dinner more than made up for the loss of the parking spot.  Sadly, dinner was over too soon, and we took the long way home to chat.  (It helped that Vicki missed my exit, and took side roads back to my place.)  All in all, this was a pleasant evening.  But next time, I'll do the driving.

 

It's amazing how apathetic some people can be.

 

As readers of this blog know, I am on my co-op's board.  Tonight we held our third yearly meeting, where we failed to reach a quorum.  Given that our apartments are sizable investments, it surprises me that so few people show up for our yearly meeting.  Tonight, we had only 33% of the shareholders present that we would need to have an official meeting.

Unlike most co-op board meetings, I can talk about what we discussed tonight, as it occurred in a public forum.  Before people showed up, I made reference to my transgender nature because one person didn't respect our co-op's president and deferred to me because I often present as a white male.  (Little does he know!)  I asked this woman whether she thinks it is because she is black or if she is female.  And she thinks that it's a little bit of both.  That's when I showed her a couple of pictures of RQS, noting that RQS is what used to be called as "passable".  (Later on, RQS reminded me that when summer comes, one can more easily see the color in her skin.)

There was a point where our president passed a question to me to answer, and I mentioned a lot of things to explain why we can't give more notice for potential maintenance increases.  Hopefully, I was able to satisfy the shareholder's need for an answer.

I was glad when the meeting ended, as I was tired and wanted to go home to rest.  And after my nightly call to RQS, rest I did....

 

Lunch with Maria - with a closeup view of MNRR/Amtrak

 

Today, Maria and I finally got the chance to meet for lunch.  She has her hands full raising her two grandchildren, as well as taking care of a daughter who is not responsible enough to take care of herself and her children.  So, we get together much less often than we would like.  But when we do, the conversation flows like the Niagara river.

Maria wasn't in the best of moods when we got together, as she had several problems on her mind.  I listened a bit, and gave some suggestions when asked. But for the most part, I let her speak until she was ready to let me jump in with the changes going on in my life.  While chatting, both Metro North and Amtrak trains passed by the restaurant, and we had to suspend our conversation for a few seconds while the trains passed by.

I asked Maria if her older daughter was likely to get married, and she noted that this daughter wasn't yet ready for a husband, children, or any of the other situations a woman in her 20's might find herself in. So I had a little fun in mentioning that I'm looking for a good excuse to make myself as pretty as possible again, to wear a fancy dress, and go out in the world as Marian to a formal affair.  Maria smiled at that.  I'm not so sure if this would ever happen, but it would be nice if it does....

The car is no longer mine - a quick post

 

DCD and I finally did it.  Tonight, I signed over the car to him, and he can start the process of getting the car back on the road.

I'll miss this car.  But my current car is a better choice for me.  I need the safety features in the car, as I no longer have the alertness that I had 50 years ago.  Even now, I have started thinking about how long I will continue to be able to safely drive a car.  I'm roughly 67 years old, and I can see the differences between how I drove when just a few years younger and how I drive now.

Hopefully, the car will serve him well.  I wish him the best while he owns it, as he really needs a set of wheels to commute to and from his job.

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On other matters, I picked up my tax paperwork today and then filed these forms.  State taxes were in the range I expected, but at the low end of the range.  Federal taxes were slightly overpaid, so I will eventually get a refund which will go to my clothing budget.

I now wish I hadn't booked an upcoming cruise

 

Before anyone gets any wrong ideas, I am still looking forward to my cruise.  But the conditions which made me select this cruise at this time have changed, and I would have preferred to be taking a different cruise with RQS later in the year.

But first....

My uncle passed away last night.  After 91 years on this planet, it was time for his soul to depart his body and travel into the unknown - whatever that might be.  He lived a long and successful life, having won more than one industry awards in a highly competitive and visible industry.  (Let's just say that you might have seen him win one of his awards 50 years ago, or so.)  He was always there for his family when he was needed, and I'll always be grateful for the assistance he offered when my wife was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

Last year, I chose to take a California Coastal Cruise, as a fallback if my uncle wasn't up to being visited.  Sadly, he had severely damaged his hip the autumn before, and it never healed enough to allow him to walk again.  (He fell trying to take care of a wife who was suffering with dementia, when his wife should have already been placed into a care home.)  When we visited Los Angeles last June, he had just been told that he'd never walk again.  With everything going on in his life at that time, I made it a point to try and visit him again while he was still above ground.  Today, I got the news that I was about a week or two too late.

Right now, the person in charge of my uncle's affairs has not made any arrangements for my uncle's memorial service/gathering.  I likely will not be able to attend this service if held before mid May, as my prior commitments preclude making any trips.  And, even if I could attend, I will not know any of the people who would be attending this service/gathering, as they are all industry insiders.

At least, there is one good thing to come out of all of this.  I will not need to bring along any male garments for my upcoming trip. (I'm sure that my uncle would have found a way to write a humorous story about this if he wasn't the person in the casket....)

This weekend flew by way too quickly!

 

I'm not going to say too much about this past weekend, save that it flew by way too quickly!

Friday came, and I picked up RQS in Marian mode, as it would be the only day I'd be able to present as a female until next week.  After a night's rest, we decided to go out and see Ennio, the documentary about the great movie score writer, Ennio Morricone.  RQS used to make jokes about this man's name (nothing nasty, just cute), but now she knows how respected he is in the music world.  If you haven't had the chance to listen to this man's music, you must be living in an impermeable bubble.  From scores for "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly" to "The Hateful Eight", Morricone has proven himself to be a composer in the same league as Bach, Beethoven, and Brahms.  So, if you can, see this documentary - it will open your eyes to the greatness of this man in the world of music.

Sunday was very different, as we met TCL for dinner in her neighborhood.  Yum!  What more can I say?  Only one bad thing I can say - the restaurant isn't closer to me.  We could have chatted a bit longer, but all of us were getting tired after 2 1/2 hours of chatting at the restaurant.  All too quickly, Monday came, and RQS had to go home.  I accompanied her to Grand Central, then departed to pick up my taxes. Now, I don't have to worry about this task anymore.  Yet, I missed seeing the eclipse.  That's not such a bad thing, as I'll have 20 years to prepare for the next one.

I'm still cleaning out my old car - a quick post.

 

Right now,  my old car is sitting in my driveway.  The plates are off the car, and I'll soon be signing the paperwork needed to transfer the title to DCD.  Although I don't intend to clean out the car completely, I will take most of the next week to gradually get the rest of my crap out of the car, so that DCD can vacuum it out at his leisure.

I'll miss this car.  But I like the car I'm driving now.  It has quite a few miles before it gets mechanically old.  That's a good thing, as I don't want to have the car die on the road while I'm presenting as Marian.  (This happened with my PT Cruiser after 120k miles, and I didn't think it worth while to install a new transmission on a car that was worn out.)

In certain ways, a new car is like a new life.  Given that I have bloomed because I am out as Marian, I wanted a car that reflected my risk adverse nature and a car which I could enter and exit in a lady like fashion.  My new car allows me to do that.

A visit to Universal Standard, and then to Game Night

 

I try to go to game night every night our hosts invite us in to their home.  Sadly, I found out something about two of our regulars that I almost wish I didn't know.

But first....

A few days ago, I registered for an in-person shopping visit to Universal Standard.  Having been there for sample sales, I was prepared for almost anything.  Would the place be organized mayhem, such as it is when they hold a sample sale?  Or, would the place look like a normal store, with a little bit of everything to try on.  Today, things were much better than expected, as I was greeted with a glass of Proseco, and then the stylist asked me what I was looking for (mostly dresses).

When I go to Universal Standard's sample sales, I wear a unitard, over which I wear a shirtdress as a duster.  This way, I can take off the top layer and be able to try on clothes without other women seeing that I am wearing falsies.  I could have avoided the headaches of doing so today, as I had a dressing room all to myself.  Given this unexpected luxury, I stripped off the unitard, and got dressed in several of the outfits selected for me.  (I wish I could have taken pictures of me in each outfit.)

The first of these outfits was a white shirt with linen pants with a stretch waistband in aqua..  If the shirt were a little longer, I might have bought this outfit.  But, if my "tucking" comes undone, I don't want my pants to give away what genitalia I possess.  (I still may consider it in the future, but not right now.)  Next was a Polo shirtdress in "Botanic" (think of a rich forest green).  It looked and felt good on me.   But I didn't feel like dropping $138 for this dress right now.  After this came two items that wouldn't work on me, and I didn't bother trying on.  And then came the button-up shirt dresses I had problems with. Although the stylist (read: saleslady) said most of what she selected looked good on me, I felt that 2 of the 3 shirtdresses ranged from "not worth buying" (due to bad button design) to "acceptable as a gift" (I'd wear it if I got one as a gift, but wouldn't buy it) to "I'd buy it if I had extra money to spend".  The last of these dresses had the right length for me to wear as a dress alone, and could be worn with leggings, or worn as a duster.  What surprised me was that a jumpsuit looked nice on me.  I'd  still want to wear a shirt of jacket as a topper.  But I'm thinking of going for it.  Sadly, I had to leave without buying anything.  So, I returned home to rest a little before going back out to game night.

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Game night was nothing special - even though I didn't get the chance to play anything.  There were only 6 people there (including myself), as 2 of the other regulars didn't show up.  I found out over a chat that went on at the game table, that one regular didn't like another regular because she learns new games slowly.  (This fellow is a hard core gamer who likes being the center of attention, and he doesn't get along that well with people who aren't as aggressive as he is in game play.)   Although I don't have problems with him, I now wonder what he says about me behind my back.  But that's another story.

I started to have a good time when the hostess and her son came back from his weekly Chess tournament.  Today, he got beat by someone more skilled than he is.  But he is learning quickly.  First, I chatted with the hostess for a while about things in general.  Then, I chatted with the son about chess.  I told him that I used to be decent as a kid, but I'm a terrible player 50 years later.  It'll be fun to relearn the game from him.

While at game night, Vicki sent me a message.  She'd like to go to the Flax Designs warehouse sale, where they are cleaning out inventory in what they call a "Barn Sale".  Although it will take over 3 hours (each way) to get there and back, the sale prices can't be beat.  So I said Yes to Vicki and offered the chance to have RQS come with us.  (RQS said no, so we'll shift our weekend plans by a day or so that weekend.)

It looks like I'll be doing even more shopping soon!

 

 

I get frustrated when a business says something is delivered when it isn't.

 

How many of you use Amazon and get notices that your products have been delivered when this is not so?  Well, I'm tired of these presumptive notifications from vendors, as false positives cause a lot of grief when deliveries are time-sensitive.

Years ago, I subscribed to Amazon Prime because they advertised 2-day delivery for most products.  This was very important, as Amazon was the only place where I could find a girl's locking diary that I could give to a young girl before Christmas.  Today, things are different.  On Amazon's site, they tell users to do the following:

1 - Confirm shipping address in Your Orders
2 - Look for a notice of delivery attempt
3 - Check around the delivery location
4 - Ask your household members and neighbors
5 - Wait 48 hours for the package to be delivered
6 - You can check with the carrier

You'd think that Amazon (and its carriers) could always take a photograph of the delivered object where it was delivered, and include that photo as part of an email confirming delivery.  This was helpful to RQS when her package was delivered to the building next door, and made it to her place a day later.  But false positives can cause big problems.

Quite often, I get false positives from Amazon and UPS regarding product deliveries.  The worst of these occurred a while back when UPS and I got our signals cross when I ordered a phone from Motorola.  The confusion had me going back and forth between UPS and Motorola trying to find out where the product was delivered and how to get a replacement shipped to me.  I ended up paying the first month's installment on the phone before I actually received it.  Although Amazon can be bad, but UPS can be worse because they consider a product to be delivered - even when they hand it off to the post office for last-mile delivery.  This happens quite a bit for many small items, and no notice is available on UPS's site to tell the recipient that they handed off the delivery to USPS. 

Shortly before the pandemic and during part of it, I was a customer of Freshly.  Their food was good, but their last mile delivery was terrible.  Out of 13 shipments, only 3 or 4 were delivered correctly.  My boxes were left behind entry doors where I couldn't see them, left in other doorways where no one cared about them, and in one case, left in front of a vacant apartment where the food was left to rot for a week. Although I got reimbursed for my losses, I got annoyed at the last mile delivery service they used - LaserShip.  Like many "Gig Economy" services, LaserShip bid out its deliveries to the lowest bidder, and this often meant that products were delivered incorrectly, if at all.  I'll bet that firms like this were the cause of Freshly's demise.

What in the world should we do as consumers?  For me, I'd report the products as missing as soon as they are marked as delivered and found not to be so.  Someone has to pay the cost for false deliveries and businesses have more clout than consumers to insure that their products get delivered properly.  So, make them pay the cost for the problems they created until these problems are fixed.

 

I'm almost ready to sign away my old car.

 

Sometimes, I feel like I'm negotiating a contract with the fellow on the left.  DCD asks me a lot of questions that he should be able to answer by himself, such as computing Connecticut's tax on the car which he will soon be registering.

The other day, I met for DCD for a bite to eat, and I was ready to sign the bill of sale and the title, so that he could take these forms, plus the release of lien, and get the car registered in his name.  He wasn't ready to do that, as he still had to schedule an in-person visit to Connecticut DMV to get the car registered and get the plates for the car.  Hopefully, we'll be able to take care of this soon.

- - - - - -

Right now, the old car is sitting in an assigned parking spot, waiting for DCD to drive it away.  I want it gone by the end of the month, as I don't want a car I can't drive sitting in my driveway as long as my old PT Cruiser sat after its transmission failed.  Although I gave away that car 10 years ago, it never got on the road again.  The new owner planned to get the car fixed and never did, as he passed away before he had the chance to do so.

I'm lucky to have two parking spots I can use, as one spot blocks in the car in front of it when two cars are parked in these spots.  This is not much of an issue for a married couple, as they would be able to move a car so that the blocked-in car could get out.  But it wouldn't work if the two cars were owned by non-relatives. Yet, if I could find a Cheap, Low-Mileage, Well-Maintained 2 seat gas fueled Smart car, I might buy it - if only to be able to visit RQS and have a good chance of finding a parking spot quickly.

- - - - - -

If this deal with DCD falls through, I might put my old car back on the road again, just to have something cheap to drive to RQS's place.  Hopefully, this won't happen.....

I'm gonna sit right down and write myself an entry....

 

Well, most of my friends know I enjoy much of the music from the 1930's thru the 1970's.  Disco left me wanting for music which had more than just a danceable beat.  The 1930's & 1940's were the era of the big bands, and I'll always enjoy hearing the music of Benny Goodman, Glenn Miller, Count Basie and others popular way back when.  The 1950's brought us Chuck Berry, Little Richard, Elvis and others.  And then Beatlemania hit in the 1960's with the British Invasion.  By the time the 1970's came around, I had started listening to Country music, and developed a taste for Hank Williams, Patsy Cline, Loretta Lynn, Waylon Jennings, Willie Nelson and others.  RQS has noted that most of the people who made the music I enjoy are dead.  And yet, due to the recording technology of the 20th century, their performances will always live on.

Lately, I've been listening to pop standards made popular by Sinatra, Dean Martin, Tony Bennett and others.  There is something about the lyrics of these classic performances that makes much of today's music sound like crap.  Yes, the Beatles and the Stones helped move music away from just being "Silly Love Songs" and brought pop lyrics into a more serious vein. 

Today's music leaves much to be desired.  Gone are the days where Cole Porter could write about a certain Miss Otis killing the love of her life and apologizing to her friend because her execution would interfere with their lunch date.  Even the Beatles' Maxwell's Silver Hammer had fun with a serial murderer.  The lyrics of today will talk about murder, but without any subtlety.  I miss the subtlety of old music and lyrics.

There are many musicians I wish I could have seen in person.  I once had the opportunity to listen to Paul McCartney in person, and skipped out on it for an Off Broadway play.  I have seen Paul Simon, Ella Fitzgerald, Elton John and others in person.  But there is no way I will spend my money on overpriced NYC tickets, given how much coin is being demanded for these tickets.  (There is no way I will spend $500+ to see the Stones at MSG!) Given how old that many of my favorite surviving performers/groups are, I would rather spend my money to lesser known musicians and some up and coming musicians who make music that I can enjoy at an affordable price.

Goosebumps and the Subway

This past weekend, RQS and I rode the subway more than usual.  First, we found remnants of a subway station entrance that is still used for location shoots.  And then, we caught a film crew packing up for the day.  

But first....

On Saturday, RQS and I went to the Nom Wah Tea Parlor (Nolita) to feast on some Dim Sum.  It was been a long time since we were there, and we didn't want to risk not being able to get served at their Chinatown location.  While there, we saw some subway times reminiscent of the subway station we just exited:

When I asked the fellow behind the counter whether the store's dining area included part of a subway entrance, he confirmed my suspicions and told me that the site was still used for an occasional film shoot.  (The staircase in the last picture above would have led into Nom Wah's dining area, on the other side of the Bowery from where the current entrance/exit is..)

But this was not all of our subway stories for the weekend.

Earlier on the weekend, NYC DOT (Dept. of Transportation) posted quite a few "No Parking" signs through RQS's area of Queens.  The parking restrictions were there to facilitate Goosebumps' film crew in getting their equipment and people to the site.  Given that I am very familiar with film crews, having worked near a studio in Lower Manhattan which always had film support vehicles and trailers on the block, I was still very surprised to find how many parking spaces that Goosebumps needed.

I made the "command decision" for the two of us to pass by where they were filing today's action.  And we saw the crew shutting down production for the day/  What I found most interesting was the renaming of the station above the staircase to the station master's kiosk.  (Look for Avenue X, with an orange circle with a white F route ID on it.)  We didn't know we were in South Brooklyn! 😇

Seeing everything made me very glad that I didn't bring my new car into the city this weekend.  At best, I'd have to leave RQS on Sunday afternoon.  At worst, my car would have been towed (and damaged) because I didn't leave before the tow trucks arrived.  Either way, I got the chance to see how much it takes to do a location shoot in NYC.

This is one time I'm NOT a tourist in NYC!

1960's Music

 

New York City is filled with many old buildings, many of them over 150 years old.  The above building has to have changed hands many times, so the 1873 and 1906 markers above the windows no longer have much meaning in today's world.  Was the company who built this building founded in 1873, and moved to this building in 1906?  So much history in this city has been torn down, paved over, or altered beyond recognition.  

This weekend, RQS and I went to see an off-Broadway play called "A Sign of the Times."  It's plot (or what little you can call a plot) is there to tie 1960's era songs together to tell a little tale of a small town girl who comes to NYC in the 1960's and finds the world much different than she expected.  As much as I love 1960's music, I'm not sure of what to make of this play.  RQS enjoyed the music very much.  But I was underwhelmed about how the songs were assembled.  Although I loved the songs and enjoyed the performers singing these songs, I felt that many of them were flat - because of how the people who orchestrated this piece of fluff changed the feel of some of these songs.

Would I recommend seeing this play when in NYC?  Yes.  Like the outside of the above building, the music from the Brill Building keeps getting reworked for better and worse.  All the casual listener of 1960's music will remember may be the original performances and maybe occasional covers of these songs.  But these were great songs, with only one clinker (in my humble opinion) in the bunch.  And I'm glad that someone has put them together for a new audience....

I'm still having minor issues with the new car

 

Yes.  When one buys a new car, one has something akin to teething pains when one is learning about the quirks of the car.  And I am learning quick!

Yesterday, my car wasn't recognizing voice commands when I wanted to make a call to one of my friends. A call to the salesman gave me an idea of how to resolve this problem.  Now, I have lost some of the features of Android Auto and of Subaru's Starlink for another unknown reason.  I figure that I'll send another message to the salesman - only to let him know that what he suggested worked, and that I have another problem that I'm working on.  (No, I'm not asking him for help on this one.  But I figure that he will be able to help someone else with my Android phone issues using the info I give him, as his main phone experience is with iPhones.)

- - - - - -

In a previous post, I commented on the "secret" sharing of driver data between Auto Manufacturers, Lexis/Nexis, and Insurance Companies.  This practice disgusts me, and I might have called off my car purchase if I had known this before writing a check for the down payment on my new car.  Today, one of the worst offenders, General Motors, has announced that it will cease sharing this information with data brokers.  Hopefully, other automobile manufacturers will follow GM's lead and stop their data sharing as well.

As I'm writing this entry, I'm watching a video regarding the Infotainment Screen and its use on my new car.  I figure that this is a video I should save, as it's easier to watch this video than to read a 500+ page user manual.  Hopefully, I'll learn enough about my new car, that I can drive it like I had years of experience beforehand, instead of feeling like an idiot at the controls.

Emptying out my old car is a pain!

 

I never knew how much stuff I had stashed in my Honda Civic until I started emptying it out.  Not only did I find out that the Civic had more room in its trunk than the Crosstrek has in its storage area, but I am also finding a lot of stuff in the nooks and crannies of the passenger compartment that I have to find homes for.

My first pass at cleaning out the old car resulted in me putting a large storage container into my apartment's downstairs storage compartment.  Then, I realized that things such as my phone charger were left in the old car.  So, I transferred them to the new car the next day.  Of course, there was even more stuff to transfer, such as my "coin can" (container for spare change) and my "Club" (steering wheel lock).  And still, I have to get around to cleaning stuff out from under the seats and then doing a factory reset on the old car to clear out my Bluetooth/phone settings.

Luckily, DCD won't be able to take possession of the car for at least another week or so.  This means that I still have a little time to clean out the car and get it ready for him.

I screwed something up!

 

One of the phrases I learned from my days as a computer programmer is: RTFM.  This phrase, RTFM, is described in polite terms as: "Read the Fine Manual".  Since most of us programmers were fluent in multiple programming languages, at least one spoken language and profanity, we usually substituted a better word for "Fine".  Last night, I had one of these situations where the manual would have stumped me if I had read it.

When I bought my first car, the owners manual was less than 100 pages long.  Most of the controls were self evident, the stalk on the left of the steering shaft controlled the lights (some cars had headlight controls elsewhere), the stalk on the right of the steering wheel controlled the wipers, and the gearbox lever was usually on the floor between the driver and passenger.  Even without an owners manual, the average person could operate the vehicle in complete confidence that s/he wouldn't screw up anything important.

The Subaru Crosstrek is much different than my Datsun B-210 and my Honda Civic.  Not only does the owners manual check in at over 500 pages, but the quick start guide of roughly 160 pages needs a shortcut guide of its own.  Needless to say, things can get screwed up very quickly.  For example, one has to turn off the collision avoidance system in order to take the car into a car wash.  I have yet to figure out how to use the car's adaptive cruise control feature along with the lane centering feature to allow the car to perform limited self driving.  But most of all, the device pairing process between the car and one's phone may just be the most annoying of all differences between this car and my old Civic.

Connecting Bluetooth devices is usually a simple task, and in both my Civic and the Crosstrek it is.  However, I had to program in my speed dial numbers and associated voiced names (such as "RQS Mobile") each time I connected a new phone to the Civic.  The Crosstrek ingests everything it can from the cell phone, and then allows the driver to hit a button and use voice commands to work much of the electronics in the car.  Yet, I screwed something up that was working when I took possession of the car.

The day I took possession of my car, the salesman set up the connection between my phone and the car.  All I had to do was hit the voice control button and say "Call RQS" and the car would make the phone call for me.  However, my phone would continue to display a message "Repair with device to enable advanced message access feature."  So I did this, and lost the ability to use voice commands to dial phone numbers.  AARGH!  Given that a salesman wants to keep his customers happy, I sent him an email and hope he responds quickly with a solution.  Fingers crossed!

The new car is finally mine!

 

Today, I felt like the day had more than 24 hours.  Not only did the night before allowed me just 4-5 hours of sleep.  But I felt like I needed to go back to bed for most of the day.

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The day started by me waking up early, and trying to go back to sleep without luck.  Given that I had a doctor's appointment at 10 am, I knew that it was going to be a long day for me.  So, I got showered and dressed as Mario, and off to town to see the doctor.  When I arrived, I found the place unusually empty, as if the doctor had come to the office for only a handful of patients.  

Lately, the doctor has had quite a few student interns from various medical programs assist him in his office.  Today, he had a new person, a young woman training to become a nurse practitioner.  And she introduced a different routine for the day, asking me a lot of questions that she could answer from looking at the doctor's records.  (She has to learn how to ask questions, as well as what questions to ask.  So I am not complaining.)  Then, the doctor came in, and asked his questions - and looked to put me on a new drug.  AARGH!  At least, I have renewed the supply of my old drugs, so the new prescription will have to wait.

Once done with the doctor, I returned home and prepared to remove the license plates from the old car, so that they could be placed on the new car.  Only one problem - I couldn't unscrew the fasteners holding the plates to the car, and I was in luck - my co-op's superintendent had just pulled into a vacant spot, and he was able to remove the plates with a little bit of effort.

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My next stop for the day was the car dealership.  Vicki came by around 1:30 pm, and off we went to complete the deal on the new car.  When I arrived, the salesman made sure to take a lot of pictures of me in front of my new car, and then started the process of showing me around the dealership before depositing me with the sales manager who sold me a couple of add-ons.  $1750 later, I was out the door, and the salesman showed me around the car, so that I could get the car home safely.  By then, Vicki was leaving, so I had the salesman to himself.  (Vicki noted that the fellow who sold her the car she was driving didn't take the time to make sure she knew the features on her car.  It's no wonder that he's now working at a used car dealership....)

When done with the salesman, I drove home to rest for a while.  And then, I got into a conversation with one of my neighbors.  It could lasted quite a bit longer, save for the fact that I looked at my watch and saw that I had to open the co-op's zoom meeting in 20 minutes.  So I rushed inside, and took care of co-op business for the next 2 hours.

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After the meeting ended, I was feeling exhausted.  But I figured that I'd make a run to BJ's as an excuse to see how well the car's automatic lights worked.  (There are a few things I have to be aware of with this setting, but I'll get used to it in time.)  What really gets to me is that I have to learn a whole new way to deal with the car's infotainment system and with its driver safety systems.  And this will also take some time.  (I just have to remember to turn the collision avoidance system off before going into a car wash, as the brakes will mistakenly hold the car in place to protect the car and what's in front of it....)

I think it's going to take a while to learn the ins and outs about the car, and I'd better be careful while doing so.

An evening with DCD

 

DCD is a strange person.  He doesn't always learn from his past, and he makes the same type of mistakes over and over again.  Tonight was a typical example of dealing with him....

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I met DCD at a New Rochelle diner a little after he completed work for the day.  When he arrived, he started to tell me what was going on in his life, and I mentioned that his present situation with his girlfriend is similar to where I was with Ex-GF-M over 10 years ago.  His girlfriend is addicted to tobacco and alcohol, and wants DCD to participate in the addiction triangle: Person A, Person B, and the Addiction.  Whether or not Person B is addicted or not, Person B's behavior will either be that of participating in an addiction, or trying to deal with Person A's addiction.  DCD is the latter type.

I'm not saying that DCD has his act together.  He doesn't pay attention to advice given to him by well meaning friends, nor does he car about things such as payment instructions.  We chatted a little about Zelle and I mentioned that I don't use it because it has become a hacker's paradise.  Once a hacker is able to get into your account via Zelle fraud, the banks have a nasty habit of saying that your money is lost forever.  Yet, when we finished our meal, DCD didn't ask me how I wanted to get paid - he sent me money via Zelle!  This pissed me off!!!!  I planned to take the advice given by Clark Howard (Clark.com), and avoid the use of Zelle to protect myself from scams.  And now, I had to use it to receive money from DCD!  AARGH!!!!!  (No wonder why his relationships fail - he doesn't pay attention to any important messages from anyone.)  Luckily, I don't have any banking apps on my phone, and avoid them like the plague.  I prefer to use my PC or Chromebook for financial transactions, and was able to use one of my lesser bank relationships to receive DCD's money.

When I asked DCD why he uses Zelle, he mentioned that he doesn't like "float".  What he did wasn't related to float.  Instead, it was related to his record keeping - he doesn't want to worry about whether a check has cleared or not - if he does a small value payment via Zelle, the money has left his account and his account inquiry always shows a current balance.  (One the way home, I mentioned this to RQS, and she said that DCD will continue doing things his own way, and not care about what others say to him in regard to their interactions with him.)

I'll end up seeing DCD again on Friday, if only to hand him paperwork for the car.  Hopefully, he won't screw things up, as I want the car out of my driveway within the next 2 1/2 weeks.

Closing out a weekend.

 

I accidentally deleted my original post for today.  So here goes....

Saturday was a rainy day where RQS and I would rather have stayed home.  However, I had taxes to take care of, and I had to take them to my new preparer.  Several traffic jams and delays caused by bad drivers losing control of their cars, we made it to my new preparer and were ready to make our trip to Suffern, NY to see the new Ghostbusters film.  

Why Suffern? you may ask.  There were closer theaters which involved much less driving.  Well, Saturday night's showing was accompanied by a Wurlitzer Organ being played prior to the 7:30 showing.  With the rain and road floods, we barely got to Suffern in time to get a bite to eat and enjoy the organ performance.

Too bad that we didn't stop somewhere other than the pizza parlor near the theater.  I won't name the place, as the food was mediocre at best.  But if you are in Suffern, skip the pizza and go for Mexican. At least we were able to get to the theater early enough to hear the whole organ performance. Was the film good?  For a franchise flick, it was pleasant.  But was it good?  It was an enjoyable way to spend an hour and a half on a Saturday evening. When we returned to the car, I found that a slow leak was detected by the TPMS system.  So I drove home, and made plans to go to Mavis Tires the next morning.  

Sunday came, and I went to Mavis.  90 minutes later, the tire was fixed, and I was home for the rest of the day to rest with RQS.  Unfortunately, Monday came, and RQS had to leave.  So we got some lunch, and I dropped her off at the station, so that she could get home during daytime hours....

By the time you read this....

 

By the time you read this, several things will have happened:

1. My taxes will be in the process of being prepared.
2. I will be in possession of my new car.
3. DCD will have started his process of getting the car registered in his own name.
4. I will have given RQS her birthday present.
5. My luggage will be opened, and packing will start for my California Cruise.

Of course, a lot of things will have happened in between then and now.  And you'll be able to read about them over the next few days.

- - - - - -

When I told my brother about my tax situation, I realized how much my brother wants to isolate my financial life from his.  I should mention that he wouldn't give me a recommendation for an accountant if I needed one this year, but would only help me file estimated taxes to buy a little time for me.  My guess is that if an acquaintance of his sees my returns, then they will have an idea of what a slice of my brother's life looks like.

Cleaning out my old car has helped me find things I had misplaced over the years.  One of these things was a canvas bag that I thought was in RQS's place.  Surprise!  It was in my car's trunk.  There was way too much stuff back there, and I'm glad that I am finally emptying it out.  (Guess what I'll be doing on Monday!)

Now that I have the information needed to get my new car on the road, I can give DCD the information he needs to start his process.  Hopefully, I'll have the old car out of my driveway soon.  If not, I know of at least one charity that takes donated cars.

Even though a bought theater tickets for RQS's birthday, I ordered a little something from Amazon for her to open up on the birthday itself.  Hopefully, she will like it.

And lastly, packing....   This will be a trip where I will spend one day as Mario and the rest as Marian. (I must visit my uncle while presenting as Mario.)  It's going to be nice to wear some warmer weather clothes for a change.  (I haven't worn a dress in California in ages, except while in transit to/from Hawaii.)  Since it will be Spring when I arrive, I have to bring sweaters (and a windbreaker) - especially for my time in San Francisco.  RQS's cousin knows I am trans, so it will be nice NOT to have to change into a pair of trousers when in San Diego....

The trouble with taxes

This morning, I didn't need my alarm clock to awaken me.  Yet, I know I'll be exhausted by both the end of the day and by the end of the weekend.  And all of this is because of taxes....

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As I've mentioned before, I have had to find a new tax preparer because my old one retired.  I thought I had been lucky to know someone in the Trans community who could do this work. But her health problems got in the way, and she had to bail on doing my taxes.  This left me with 3 weeks to get my taxes done and no one to do them.

The first thing I did was to make an emergency call to my former tax person, and I got the name of a new person.  This was the person who took over some of her old business, and is located in the old office space.  YAY!!!  Even better, this person is hungry and wants new business.  So, I'll end up picking RQS up at the station and driving down to my Trans friend to pick up my paperwork.  And then, I'll deliver this packet to my new tax person in Queens and hope for the best.

- - - - - -

This will be a half and half weekend for me.  At least, I'll be able to take RQS out to the movies and relax for a little while....

 

 

PS: We picked up the tax paperwork from my Trans friend on Friday, then delivered it to my new tax person on Saturday.  Although it rained like cats and dogs, I made it safely to Queens, where the new tax person is located.  And then, after an hour of waiting (we were in line to meet with this new lady), we had a pleasant conversation and a good idea of what the tax preparation would cost and when it would be done. It's a nice feeling to know that this headache is going away, and that I'll be able to focus on good things again.
 

I got a call today - my new car has arrived!

 

Now is the time, the Walrus said, to speak of many things.  Of shoes and ships and sealing wax, and whether pigs have wings....  Well, I probably have mangled a line from Lewis Carroll's "The Walrus and the Carpenter".  But I feel that I could write a short story about buying a car with the little nuisances I had to deal with in the process of doing so.  Yet, this is not the place for a long, drawn out story.

- - - - - -

So, what did I end up doing?

First, I drove to the bank to get a cashier's check to pay for the car.  Given that inflation has taken a lot of value from our currency, I still find it hard to believe that I paid more for this car than I put down as a down payment on my apartment.  And then I was worried a little that I didn't get the right kind of check from the bank.

Next, it was a call to my insurance company to find out what I need to do to get the insurance transferred to the new car.  I learned that things had changed, and that once the paperwork is started, the old car is covered for 24-48 hours.  This is good to know, as I will need to make sure that DCD can pick up the old car with his own plates.

Finally, I was able to contact the salesman to tell him that I'd be coming in on Tuesday to pick up the new car.  Of course, he wants me to speak to a final person who will try to sell me add-ons.  I know which ones I want and don't want, but I will deal with this on Tuesday.

- - - - - -

Now that my need to be out as Mario was over, I could rest a bit before going to a meetup as Marian.  It was nice to pretty myself up again, as I know that I'll soon be stuck in Mario mode for the better part of a week. But I wasn't sure that I wanted to go to the meetup, and I would have been better off by bailing out.  The activity was a music themed bingo at a local sports bar, and it was too loud there for me to enjoy myself.  If I didn't have a bite to eat while there, I could have gotten into playing bingo.  So, with this in mind, I took my leave a little early and drove home for the night

Lunch with RO - a short post

 

Today's post is going to be a short one, as I was very tired after a long drive and a big lunch with a friend who knows I am transgender and treats me as a woman.

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RO and I usually try to get together every 4-6 weeks or so.  Although we once dated, we are just friends - especially when the two of us are in stable, committed relationships.  So our conversations tend to be those where we catch up on events going on in each other's lives, and not sharing our troubles with someone who has a sympathetic ear.  Our lunch fit that pattern today.

Given that we live 2 1/2 hours away from each other, we have found a few places to eat in locations halfway between our homes.  Today's place was a Greek restaurant near Patterson, NJ at which RO has feasted before.  And this was a good choice, as the food was good.  It was also a mistake, as both of us spent twice as much as planned.  Luckily, I had cash on me, and room in the back to take my leftovers home.

Would I eat here again?   Yes!   But I'd be careful with my spending, as it is way too easy to get lost with appetizers, large platters, and desserts.

Some Disturbing News in the Times today

 

A recent New York Times article noted that many automakers are selling information on the driving habits of car owners to organizations such as LexisNexis Risk Solutions, where it is then resold to insurance companies. This is disgusting to say the least.  Most people owning late model cars weren't properly notified information about car owners' driving habits would be shared with outside companies.  In the case of GM cars, people were led to believe that data was being shared with Sirius/XM, so that they could subscribe to satellite radio services, and nothing more. As noted in the Privacy Not Included blog: SURPRISE!!!!!

As I am in the process of buying a new car, I have to be aware that my new car may be able to send this data to LexisNexis as well.  Supposedly, Subaru has an option to turn off the transmission to LexisNexis. I will ask the salesman about this before I sign the final paperwork on the car, as this will affect the options I select when using the new car.

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Why is this so important to me?

I don't care much if the government is able to locate me.  I do care if private industry is able to accumulate information about me without my permission.  Many Americans distrust government, but will surrender information to private industry at will.  It's bad enough that firms such as Amazon and Google have as much information about us as they do.  But, unlike government, there are no limits to what they can do with this information.

Given that the IRS knows how much we make, how much we pay in taxes, and how much we own (for the most part), I trust government more than I trust big business.  Big government drowns in the amount of information they have, and it is very constrained in how the data is used.  So, I consider big government the lesser of two evils.

Yes, there is always the possibility that personal information can be abused.  But it is easier for people to hold government accountable for the misuse of data than big business.  And we should remember that when we hear representatives of big business advocate for their positions.....

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How to Find Out What Your Car Is Doing

• See the data your car is capable of collecting with this tool: https://vehicleprivacyreport.com/.

• Check your connected car app, if you use one, to see if you are enrolled in one of these programs.

• Do an online search for “privacy request form” alongside the name of your vehicle’s manufacturer. There should be instructions on how to request information your car company has about you.

• Request your LexisNexis report: https://consumer.risk.lexisnexis.com/consumer

• Request your Verisk report: https://fcra.verisk.com/#/