Tuesday, December 31, 2024

Thinking about the year soon gone.

 


RQS and I seem to be spending most of our free time together, and we've got a routine that seems to be working for us.  This got me thinking about how my life has changed over the past few years, and how things seem to be crystalizing into something nice this past year.

- - - - - -

At the beginning of the year, I was concerned about visiting my uncle before he passed away.  Sadly, this did not happen, and I ended up taking a California Coastal Cruise by myself - one of the few times I've traveled lately without her.  (Yes, I will note that I booked my Hawaii cruise before I met her, but I did offer to have her come with me on the cruise.)  Our big trip was our Norwegian Cruise in June   And then, we took 2 separate cruises to Bermuda.  Cruising has become our favorite form of vacation, but the idea of visiting places already visited has diminished.  We want to experience new places.  And that may mean changing how we travel and where we go.

As we age, we have to worry a bit about changes in our health.  RQS has had her health problems, and I have had my issues.  I will soon need to search for a new GP, as my doctor is getting old.  He's a good doctor, but I have my issues about reaching his office, and the quality of his staff.  My sleep doctor is retiring at year end, and I need to find out who I will need to see for future follow-ups.  Luckily, the doctor who performed my colonoscopy is young, and I will likely be able to see him when I next need to have the lower part of my GI-Tract inspected.

Getting older often means that one will see his/her peers gradually die off.  Earlier this year, one of the people with whom I went to college suddenly passed away.  My cousin passed away just before RQS and I went on one of our Bermuda cruises.  And last night, I was told that the clinical supervisor for my feminine speech training at Mercy College had passed away due to a heart attack.  I live one of the more unhealthy lifestyles of people I know.  Yet, I've been lucky enough to maintain my addictions to air, water and food.  

Now that I've been out of the workforce for 2+ years, I miss work for only one reason - the social aspect of being in an office.  Towards the end of my work life, I knew that my efforts were underappreciated.  At the bank, I was no longer in the location where the company was growing, I was in a field that was quickly dying off, and I had been unable to make the transition to a new skill set in time to maintain my value to the corporation.  I was a misfit for the first job after leaving the bank .  And then, the next 2 jobs had no room for future growth.  So I'm glad that I have my days to myself.

Even with having days to myself, I'm finding that I'm attending fewer meetups.  More of them are being held on weekends, and I am no longer free on weekends.  More of my time is committed to being with RQS (and her time with me) than I ever had with XGFJ.  We stumbled into a solid relationship, and I make sure to tell her how lucky I feel that she's with me on this part of my journey through life.  Contrast this with my brother's life.  My sister in law's illness has put extreme stress on their relationship, and he stays away from the house to maintain his peace of mind.  Earlier in the year, he booked a Mediterranean cruise for August, and then cancelled it for reasons other than he wanted to mention - I think my sister in law's illness played a part in his decision.  Virtually all of his travel now is without his wife, and I feel sorry that they do not travel together to see their offspring.  I wouldn't trade my life with RQS for his life with his wife.  I prefer to spend my time with RQS when possible.

I am worried about what will happen over the next 4 years.  The president-elect is being reckless with his nominations, and will likely alienate us from the free world.  More important to me is the GOP's attitude towards transgender people.  Although I could live in stealth mode, I don't trust the powers that be not to violate my civil rights.  So I am working on getting a second passport.

So many things are in flux right now.  And yet, I feel calm.  Somehow, I'll find a way to survive and prosper - in spite of the world around me.



 


Monday, December 30, 2024

A day spent doing nothing. (A quick post.)

 


Last night, I decided to wear something pretty to bed.  Little did I know that neither RQS nor I would bother to get dressed to go out today. Thankfully, my apartment is warm enough that I could wear a "little nothing" and feel comfortable all day.

We had no plans for the day, and given the outside temperature, it didn't make sense to go outside.  Instead, RQS straightened out my kitchen while I emptied out a chest of drawers, so that I could buy a more functional chest from Ikea next weekend.  I could then move stuff from the chest that currently holds part of my female wardrobe to a chest whose drawers open and close without difficulty.  (Would it make sense for me to repair the old chest?  Yes.  But I don't have the woodworking tools to take care of this simple task.)

Once our tasks were done, it was time to relax.  And we did so for the rest of the day.  We thought about booking another cruise from a last minute booking list.  But we held off.  I wasn't sure if RQS could afford another trip, and I didn't want to encourage her to take any trips she couldn't afford.

- - - - - -

Luckily, I had more than enough in the house to make a decent dinner.  However, I know that my GP will read the riot act to me when I see him this coming week.  I shudder to get on the scale, as I don't want to know how much I weigh.  Yet, I need to ask the doctor a couple of questions, and this will be my one opportunity to do so.

Sunday, December 29, 2024

A visit to the bank and a feast at home

 


As I am one of two people who have signatory powers for the co-op, I was expected to meet the board's president at the bank for whatever tasks were needed as we transfer our operating account from one bank to another, one management company to another.  Since I am only known to the bank as Mario, this determined how I'd dress for the rest of the day.  (The cold weather outside reinforced the decision to dress in Mario mode today as well.)

Around 11 am, I arrived at the bank, and found that our president had mostly completed work at the bank.  All that was left for me was to email a copy of a form to the new managing agent, and to collect reimbursement money for renewing our Zoom account.  And then, we were done.  Now, it was time to rest until I had to pick RQS up at the train station.

At 3:45 pm, I picked RQS up at the station, and then we took a drive to Yorktown and Uncle Giuseppe's.  (Uncle Giuseppe's is an Italian Specialty supermarket with locations in the NYC suburbs.)  Unlike Trader Joe's, where I have a hard time breaking $50 in a typical visit, I broke $100 at Uncle Giuseppe's on this visit.  And this visit only resulted in less than 2 supping bags worth of food.  At least, we got our meal for the night - Zuppa de Pesce. Our next stop was at the Foodtown, where I only wanted to pick up some fresh pasta that I forgot at our prior stop.  And that's where RQS accidentally flushed ker keys down the toilet.  Now, that forced us to get some keys cut sometime this weekend.  

We finally got home and relaxed before I started to prepare dinner - and it was tasty.  Both RQS and I enjoyed our meal and the dessert we had afterwards.  But now, we had another thing to take care of this weekend....

Saturday, December 28, 2024

I don't have much to say for today, save that I couldn't eat the whole thing.

 

OK, I know I have to go on a diet other than "See Food".  But when it's a once-a-year dinner at a good restaurant and service is slow, it's hard for me NOT to chow down from the bread basket.

- - - - - -

I didn't want to get up today.  It was raining outside, and they predicted more extreme weather by dinnertime.  For the most part, I stayed in my jammies and watched videos most of the day.  That is until I found a 7-8 year old computer that was once my dad's machine until he passed away.  Although the computer runs Windows 10, it can't be upgraded to Windows 11 because it doesn't have a TPM module.  (Even more important, the machine still uses rotating disk memory and is way too slow compared to modern machines.)  So, I have two Windows 10 machines that can't be upgraded, and I don't know what to do with them.

Next, I had to get showered and dressed.  Although I really want to go out as Marian, I'm not going to out myself to people I'm not sure would respect me after the outing.  (There are still some advantages to presenting as a male, and I have to take advantage of them while on the co-op board.)  Just before I was to pick up my fellow board members, I decided to finally subscribe to a new anti virus platform.  This was easier than I thought it would be.  But it will be way too expensive to stay on this platform after this subscription period ends.

Once done with installing the new software, it was off to pick up my fellow co-op board members, and then to the restaurant.  At the restaurant, we met the new site manager, our accountant and our lawyer.  As much as we discussed formal business with our experts, we also participated in normal social chit chat.  Service was slow, and I ate too much - simply because the bread basket was right in front of me. And then the food came!  In this episode of "(Wo)man vs. Food", Food won this round.  I ended up bringing the seafood home, only to trash it in the dumpster.  After 2-3 hours, I wasn't going to trust the safety of a seafood dish, and I wasn't going to reheat it for tomorrow's meal.  So the only thing I figured I should do is toss the leftovers because it was the safest thing to do.

- - - - - -

Tomorrow will be another day.  And I am scheduled to go to another meetup.  Like the last one, I'm not certain about going.  I'll make a decision about it tomorrow morning....

Friday, December 27, 2024

The Co-Op meeting was the most I could deal with today.

 

It was raining on and off today, and I had to be home in the evening for a co-op board meeting. We had a lot to discuss today, and the (to be) former site manager didn't show up, as he had an excuse (as usual) that prevented him from attending our meeting.  

- - - - - -

If it had been better weather, I'd have liked to go out as Marian and do some shopping.  However, this was not a day to go outside and brave the elements - I wasn't in the mood to get showered and dressed, much less turn myself into Marian and return to Mario mode for the evening. So, I relaxed in bed most of the day, and decided to get ready for the co-op meeting at 6 pm.

6 pm came, and I started the zoom meeting.  Eventually, all of the board members arrived, and we got some more disturbing news about events that took place since our last monthly meeting.  Suffice it to say, that none of us were happy.  One board member keeps acting as if our president can do more than she's already doing, and this pisses off both the president and myself.  This person is as useless as tits on a bull. And we're both tired of her.

Soon enough, the meeting ended - and I am ending up driving 2 people to dinner tomorrow.  Too bad that I have to be in Mario mode for this dinner.  But, I am looking forward to Thursday when I can again present as Marian again.

Thursday, December 26, 2024

And now back to our regularly scheduled programming....

 

By the time you read this, Christmas will have passed.  I can't wait for the holiday season to end, as it will allow me to get back to my regularly scheduled activities - such as watching movies NOT related to the holiday.

- - - - - -

I'm writing this post a little over 2 weeks before Christmas.  And a lot will happen between now and then. For example, I will be seeing my doctor for the first time in a few months, and he will likely read me the riot act for not losing weight.  I'll  wear my hair suit, and note that the Zepbound he prescribed is not covered by my drug formulary.  (I'll have to check this out in 2025, as I want to finally do what I've should have been doing all along - live a more healthy life, and lose weight as a byproduct of my actions.  I may need to have a different GLP-1 Agonist drug prescribed for me, so that it is covered by Medicare.)  I'll also be seeing my sleep doctor for the last time before he retires, and get a referral to a new sleep doctor.  (I'll also ask him for a copy of my script, so that I can buy a travel CPAP unit.)

Not all of the things that will be going on in my life will be health related.  For example, RQS and I will be attending a choral performance where one of the singers has been a member of the Yonkers gaming group I belong to.  A week later, we will be seeing Darlene Love in concert again.  She doesn't yet know that I also plan to buy her tickets to a Broadway show that will be performed on the same day that her Boston friend wants her there for a baby shower.  RQS will be very happy that I've made it possible for her to decline the invite, saying that I surprised her with show tickets.

There will be some serious things that must be taken care of.  My co-op is switching to a new management firm, and we have to make sure that we do our part in this transition.  For example, I've already had to sign paperwork to give me signing authority for the co-op, and access to the bank accounts being opened up for us.  We'll soon have our yearly holiday dinner, and that will give us the chance to get to know our new site manager in an informal setting.  Hopefully, they will do a much better job for us than the old firm has done.

Of course, I'll be catching up on my social engagements, such as seeing my friend from the census, as well as attending a meetup or two that will take place before the holiday.  I expect that I'll be quite busy through year end.  Hopefully, I'll be spending most of my time as Marian, and not as Mario.  Christmas Eve dinner will be spent as Marian, and I'm hoping we get an invite, so that New Year's Eve can be spent this way as well.  Keep your fingers crossed....

Wednesday, December 25, 2024

Tuesday, December 24, 2024

The stockings were hung up with care.... (a quick post)

 

As I write this, it is 2 weeks before Christmas eve.  Hopefully, all of my readers will be with close friends and/or family by the time you read this.

- - - - - - -

This weekend, RQS was up in Croton.  Saturday night,we decided to see the movie "Juror #2" as it will soon be out of the theaters and only available on streaming.  I won't give away too much of the film's plot.  But if you are a fan of "12 Angry Men", you may like this film.  If it is Clint Eastwood's last film, he has directed a film that could give him a fitting end to his directorial career.

Sunday was a day I'd have liked to stay in bed.  Instead, we went to the Hudson River Museum, and viewed the first floor or Glenview, its former exhibition space.  As much as I'd like to say that I enjoyed this visit, my back was killing me, as I have a hard time standing in one place for a long period of time.  Yet, I can say that Glenview is a worthwhile place to visit, and I recommend visiting when you are in Yonkers.

I finally figured out what I can get RQS for Christmas.  Although I already have 2 gifts for her, she deserves something else.  Right now, I won't post it here, so that it remains a surprise.  But I can say that it will prevent her from having to visit a friend that she doedn't want to visit during the winter.

- - - - - -

The good thing about the weekend is that I was able to be out and about as Marian.  All too soon, I would have to spend time as Mario - and will feel very uncomfortable for those two days.  At least, tonight, I'll have a chance to speak with my friends in Texas....


Monday, December 23, 2024

Beware of using credit cards on poorly designed web sites.

 

Happy Holidays!  This is the time of year where many small organizations raise money by holding concerts, giving special tours, and organizing  special events.  However, many of these organizations do not have professional web site designers, nor do they have the same kinds of payment security needed in an internet filled with scammers and hackers.

Last night, my partner decided to buy tickets for 2 choral concerts and a museum visit on their web sites.  Her actions resulted in getting triple billed by one choral society, properly billed by the museum, and no bill at all from the other choral society.  Without the ability to contact anyone related to the triple charge, she will need to dispute the triple charge with her credit card company.

This led me to think: How many of these small sites can be easily hacked, and money stolen from credit card users?  I'm pretty sure that few of these sites are contracting out to firms like Speedpay to handle their credit card processing. (Speedpay is mostly used by larger firms, such as a foreign car manufacturer.)  However, I'm less certain that they are not working with other firms whose specialty is handling small business transactions.

With all of the risks of doing business online, I find it amazing that we do so many online transactions. I do business with many small businesses, and have been lucky enough not to have gotten burnt by scammers (or not noticing a minor scalding.)  Yet, I try to research new sites before doing any business with them.  Often, I wait to hear that a friend has successfully done business with a firm before doing business with it myself.  Even then, I still have a degree of risk I have to deal with.

The other day, I learned about 2 potential cruisers who got scammed by a fake travel site advertised on Facebook.  They were told to pay for their cruise using the Cash.App application.  To me, this would have been the first clue that the travel site is a scam.  Not for these 2 people.  They ended up going to the pier, ready to board the ship, and then they found out that they were scammed.  OUCH! 

In the end, one has to use both common sense and skepticism when paying for things on the internet.  If we'd do just a little more than we do now, many of these scammers might go elsewhere.

Sunday, December 22, 2024

It might be the last sample sale for Universal Standard in Manhattan

 


The other day, I received an email from Universal Standard saying that they would be holding a sample sale this weekend.  Given that the firm is moving out of their Manhattan offices, it is likely that their showroom will be moving as well.  So, I made arrangements with RQS to meet her at Grand Central after I've done my shopping.

But first....

I woke up this morning feeling barely awake.  So, I lollygagged a bit until I noticed that the clock had hit 10 am.  This meant that I was already an hour late, and had to rush in order to make a 11:42 train.  Luckily, all my ducks were in a row, and I was showered, dressed, made up, and out the door by 11:15 am.  Although I may have had enough time to stop for an egg sandwich on the way to the station, I decided not to take any chances, and go straight to the parking lot - just so I had enough time to find a spot before the train came.  I needn't have worried.  There were more than enough spaces.  But the coffee shop at the station was closed.  This meant that I'd have to get a bite to eat when I reached Grand Central.

A little under 60 minutes later, I was at Grand Central and looking for something to eat.  In the past, I'd go downstairs to Zaro's and get a couple of franks.  Sadly, they don't sell hot dogs anymore, and I ended up getting my pair of tube steaks at Frankie's.  It's hard to feel comfortable with the reality of today's prices - 2 dogs and a soda for $14.  I'm used to dogs that sell for $2 each, and sodas for $2.  

Once done with lunch, it was off to Universal Standard.  20 minutes later, I was on the elevator to their store. Within 15 minutes, I had bought a nice sweater and a nice dress for $75.  This is pretty good, given their usual prices.  While there, I found out that they are moving to Dumbo at year end.  So I may be traveling a little bit more to get to their next sale in Dumbo.

Now that I was done shopping, I went to Grand Central to meet RQS.  Around 2:30 pm, we met, and it was on the train headed to Croton.  Although I could say a bit more about the day, I'd rather keep it brief.

Saturday, December 21, 2024

I understand why DS doesn't go to our game meetup these days.

 

 
When I selected this picture, it appeared as if it was a specialty coffee drink.  Instead, it is a picture of a hot fudge sundae at Ben & Jerry's in Mt. Kisco.  Yum!

- - - - - -

Why did I keep the picture at the top of this entry?  Well, it's a reminder of indulgences that I have avoided (or eased off on) over the past couple of weeks.  And it's a reminder that my weight has dropped over the past few weeks.  Yay!  And yet, it's something to monitor, as lethargy and weight loss can mean many things.  So I will make it a priority to see my GP soon.

- - - - - -


 The first thing on my docket for today was seeing my friend MSJ for lunch.  This was not a day where we would review changes she made to her resume.  Instead, it was a day which we exchanged stories of Thanksgiving related disasters.  All too soon, 1:30 pm came around, and we had to go   We'll be talking next week, and seeing each other in the new year.

Next, it was off to bring my old phone to the fix-it shop for battery replacement.  The lady behind the counter was a little surprised that I came with a phone battery in hand.  But then, I have previous experience trying to get battery replacements done on other Motorola phones.  She told me to give her 30 minutes.  So I went across the street for some hot chocolate while she replaced my battery.  When I returned, the phone was ready, and it was time for me to go home to nap.

- - - - - -

Around 4 pm, I started a load of laundry, and then got ready to go out.  After I brought the laundry upstairs, I drove down to Yonkers for game night.  Although I thought DS might come tonight, she was visibly absent.  The loud mouthed fellow that I know she doesn't like was there, and he was in fine form.  Not only was he scattershot in explaining rules to games he may have played once or twice, he was very loud in his arguments (that's a stronger word than I'd like to use) about game rules.  I was getting annoyed too.  It's easy to see why DS is absent most of these days - she is tired of this fellow making himself the center of attention.

We ended the evening early, and noted that our next gathering will be in 3 weeks, and not the usual 2 weeks.  That's fine with me, as I could use the extra Thursday for my own purposes.  But I'll have to figure out a way to give the host/hostess' children their Xmas gifts before Xmas.

Friday, December 20, 2024

It's been a long time since I was at a meetup

 

TCL will never understand why I attend meetups as Marian.  But then, she can never understand what it's like being transgender, and why I want to live life as a female.  So, I only try to get together with her when I know I'll have to be in Mario mode for something else that day.

- - - - - -

Today was not a day I would have wanted to see TCL.  I was lethargic for most of the day, and I would have skipped out on going to a meetup had I committed myself to this dinner in Pleasantville.  So I made sure to set several alarms to get me moving when I needed to do so.  

Around 4 pm, I got showered and dressed.  However, I didn't know what to wear.  It was too chilly for me to wear a dress, as I would have stood out from cisgender women on a day like this.  So I looked for a comfortable sweater top and a pair of women's trousers I could wear, and found something I haven't worn in a couple of years.

I arrived in Pleasantville 30 minutes early, and decided to play games on my phone to kill time.  Shortly after I walked into the restaurant, DS showed up.  A few minutes later, everyone else showed up, and we proceeded to order dinner.  After some more time, my Jambalaya arrived, and I was getting stuffed before I finished what was on my plate.  But I made sure to leave room for bread pudding for dessert.  

Around 8:30 pm, it was time to go.  As I walked to my car, one of the fellows at the meetup complimented me on what I was wearing.  Was this a polite comment?  Or, was he trying to show an interest in getting to know me better?  I didn't have the benefit of a young adulthood as a female, so I'm not always sure of how to read men while out as Marian.  But at least, I know this fellow to be a harmless gentleman....

Thursday, December 19, 2024

It would have been my late wife's 70th birthday today

 

Above is a photo of my late wife.  She was a wonderful woman, but not without her flaws. She, like the building she was in, is long gone.  But why am I mentioning this here today?

- - - - - -

I've been widowed more than twice as long as I was married.  Little things such as the color of her eyes have become hard to remember.  Only other little things remain, such as she said the word "Nasty".  And yet, she has always remained a presence in my life - if only as a memory that connects me to being a young, immature adult.

My wife knew that I enjoyed wearing women's clothing.  But I never would dare going outside in such things.  She tolerated me more than anything else.  Yet, I wonder what she would think had she survived her cancer and lived to this day.  Would we have gotten divorced over this, or for other reasons.  (If so, it would likely be our lack of communications skills, and for resentments that built themselves up over time.)  Would she have embraced me, and encouraged me to become the trans woman I became?  (This is less likely, given that we would be Baby Boomers with all the prejudices absorbed during that era.)  Would I have been satisfied with her after another 10+ years?  Would the love still be there after all we would have gone through?  There are so many questions that can't be answered, as that time line never came to be.

Losing my wife at the age of 39 did one hell of a number on me.  It made me afraid of not having someone to cling to when times got rough.  Yet, I didn't have the emotional age to supply that support to others.  After she died, I ended up in a string of relationships over the next 25 years before finding my current partner.  Will we stand the test of time?  I don't know.  But we have gotten off to a good start.

- - - - - -

Being trans puts a crimp into finding romantic partners.  Aging puts a crimp into finding new friends. As an older trans person, I understand why many older trans people can get quite depressed - I've been a victim of depression myself.  Yet, I make the choice every day - do I get up and live, or do I give in to depression?  So far, I choose to live.

If my wife had lived, we'd likely have become poor parents.  Since she couldn't bear children, we'd have had to adopt a child.  But then, we'd have to move to a bigger place that we couldn't afford on my salary.  Could I have done better in my career and progressed further (with appropriate pay increases)? I'm not so sure, as I didn't have the emotional maturity to deal with a wide range of people.  So, I consider it lucky that we didn't have kids, as I don't think I'd have been able to raise them on my own.

- - - - - -

At this time of year, I often look backwards and examine where I have been and how I could have done better in life.  Recently, I realized something from childhood that I don't like - I used to look for the simple, brute force solution for problems.  It took me many years to look for subtle solutions to more complex problems.  Too bad that I didn't have this kind of insight earlier in life.

Yet, as I said in earlier posts, I now try to take life one day at a time.  I am concerned about the chaos our next president may bring.  But it is not triggering paralyzing fear, as it is now doing in many on the left.  There is a clarity I have now that I wouldn't have had a decade ago.  Is it because I've gained some wisdom?  Or, am I taking advantage of depression, and living life without a guarantee of a brighter tomorrow?  Who knows?  This doesn't mean that I can't get worked up when thinking about the possible chaos.  It only means that I'm choosing to maintain a healthy emotional distance from the potential chaos and not getting sucked into intense feelings when not needed.

As a trans person, I am concerned about what will happen over the next few years.  But, having lost a spouse, I have a better perspective on life.  She needed to be with someone with a cooler head than she had, and I now need to stay cool while chaos is all around.  And as long as I can, I'll try to keep posting here while I have something to say about the world we live in.

Wednesday, December 18, 2024

I want to have my old phone as a backup, but....

 

My old phone is laying on a small table with the tools needed to repair it.  But should I do it myself?  That is the question.  I no longer have one of the tools I need to soften the adhesive holding the remainder of the back panel for removal.  And this is where my dilemma starts.

- - - - - -

Last Wednesday, RQS and I were watching a YouTube video about Lithium Battery issues in electronic devices.  And I took my phone out of its case for the first time in months, finding that my phone's battery was one that needed immediate replacement.  So, in order not to be without a phone for a few days, I decided to replace the phone and transfer all of my programs and data to the new phone on Black Friday.  

Black Friday came, and I purchased the phone.  Then the task of moving apps and data to the new phone started.  Although moving apps and data was easy, Google doesn't move passwords to new devices for some reason I don't know.  (It may have something to do with security on the phones, but I'll leave that to others to explain.)  I'm lucky that RQS and I have a good relationship, as others might have thought I was deliberately neglecting her to play with my phone.

Over the next few days, I got most of my apps up and running on the new phone, save that "enhancement" stats for one game weren't ported.  So, I ended up starting from scratch, albeit at a higher level of play. This was the least of my concerns.  What should I do with the old phone?  I feel I should repair it, replacing the two year old battery.  Could I do it myself?  

My next step was to order a new battery from Amazon.  But it wasn't a battery direct from the manufacturer.  When the battery came in a few days later, I was able to open the back of the phone a little more, then I paused.  I didn't want to ruin the phone, nor did I want anything but a genuine Motorola battery in the phone.  So I ordered what I should have ordered in the first place, and decided to wait before deciding to hand the phone over to a pro for this repair.

Why did I order the batteries myself?  Unlike Apple and Samsung products, few places keep Motorola replacement parts in stock - even though it is the #3 cell phone maker.  At least, with parts in hand, the phone can be repaired quickly.  When I told this to TCL, she had no clue as to why this could be an issue.  But then, she uses an Apple phone, and they always have parts in stock at the Apple store.  And I'd rather save money by buying phones that cost 50% to 66% less than their Apple equivalents.  So far, my approach has saved me money on phones, as I am able to get reasonably priced upgrades when I need them.

Tuesday, December 17, 2024

A Microsoft Windows update cost RQS $100. (A short post)

 

Many of us have had to deal with flawed Windows updates.  Sometimes, an update is so bad that it "Bricks" the computer, requiring the user to recover to the last applied backup.  In RQS's case, the update installed a bad driver which wouldn't let her use her computer.

- - - - - -

Several weeks ago, RQS complained that her computer wasn't booting properly.  She'd see the manufacturer's logo flashed, and then she'd get a black screen.  I couldn't fix it on my own, and I suggested that we bring the computer to the local repair shop in Croton.  One problem.  I spent a couple of weekends in a row that I'd be spending time in Queens, and that I wouldn't bring the computer to the shop on my own.

Since this past weekend (as I write this) was a long holiday weekend, we planned to drop the computer off on Friday.  Another problem - many places, such as my insurance broker and the computer store were closed for Thanksgiving weekend.  So we ended up dropping the computer off this morning, on my way to drop RQS off at the train station.

Less than 90 minutes later, RQS's computer was fixed.  The local fix-it guy did a good job. Her computer is up and running, and we'll pick it up this Friday.  Yay!

Monday, December 16, 2024

I now find that I try to avoid talk of politics (a short post)

 


I am still recovering from the November election.  In short, the Democrats didn't have a chance, as people have way too short memories of the chaos of the first Trump administration.  This means that I don't follow political news as closely as I once did, and I try to talk about other topics whenever possible.

Why do I mention this?

It's midnight, and RQS wanted to get information regarding who Trump's latest nominees are, and I wanted to discuss other things.  Although we didn't have an incident, I was uncomfortable for a minute or two.  And I was very glad that our conversation shifted into a more comfortable topic.

- - - - - -

On other matters....

I was too tired to get moving until 4 pm, when we decided to finally make our way outside for a pizza, and then go to the movies.  Although the pizza was very good (as usual), we couldn't say that about the movie - it was sold out in both of the theaters we went to.  At least, we got tickets for tomorrow's showing.

In short, today was mostly a nothing burger, and it was just as well.  Tomorrow, it will be Pedicures for two, followed by a trip back to the movie theater....

Sunday, December 15, 2024

The day after, Or: The turkey didn't die in vain. He died for us.

 


After a night where our stomachs digested yesterday's feast, it was time to take care of errands.  Our goals for the day: (1) Bring RQS's computer to the repair shop for a battery replacement, (2) Get my car's windshield fixed, and (3) Buy a new cell phone (the old one's battery needs replacing).  Of these tasks, there is no order that they must be done.  But they must be done while I present as Mario.  AARGH!  

- - - - - -

As usual, I awakened before RQS and decided to take care of some things before going out to get the car windshield fixed.  Unfortunately, several things conspired to prevent us getting to Safelite on time.  First, RQS didn't get dressed soon enough to meet the built in margin I had with departure time to reach Mt. Kisco.  Second, Google Maps directed me to a non-extant address on the "wrong road" in Mt. Kisco.  (I copied the address of 379 N. Bedford Road, and it got corrected to 379 Bedford Road - a location far away from where we needed to be.  And lastly, the street numbering on North Bedford Road was out of sequence, as Shoprite's entry (333 North Bedford Road) came after the small driveway for Safelite while building construction got in the way of seeing Safelite's building from the road.  AARGH!

We proceeded to sit down while my windshield got repaired.  If one looks carefully, there is a spot that got damaged in the safety glass laminate that couldn't be fixed.  However, from either side of the glass, it looks like a spec of dirt.  When it came to paying for the work, I couldn't get them to charge my insurance company directly - I had booked everything with a cash payment.  So I knew I'd have to deal with my car's insurance company when I can reach my agent.

Our next stop was to Best Buy where I bought a new cell phone.  The battery on my old phone is dying, and I figured that it was time to replace it and move things to a new phone.  As I write this, I'm monitoring the process of porting everything over to the new phone.  There will be a few hiccups in the process.  But I expect to be up and running this evening.  Once the new phone is set up for phone calls, I will order a new battery for the old phone and prepare to take it to the shop to be installed.  I will then have a backup phone for emergency use.  Yay!

Unfortunately, when we got home, the computer repair shop was closed for the weekend, as was my insurance agent.  RQS and I will be dealing with this on Monday, when everyone is back at work.

- - - - - -

While I am by my computer, RQS is cooking the chicken breasts I bought for Thanksgiving dinner.  One of the four will be used for Chicken Salad sandwiches.  Another will be used for Chicken Linguini Alfredo. And the remaining two will go into the freezer for later use.  Upon opening the package, RQS remarked - these breasts are heavier than the turkey breast we had last night!  Somehow, I think I did right....

Saturday, December 14, 2024

It may not have been the holiday we planned for, but...

 

Well, what can I say about a holiday other than it's best when you can be with the people we care for.  In my case, I spent the day at home with RQS, rather then getting dressed up in nice dresses to go out to a fancy restaurant and then to see friends.

But first....

RQS was recovering from being in the hospital.  After two nights in medical prison (that's what I'll call a hospital which won't release a person when the doctors say she's ready to go home), she needed a good night's sleep.  And that's what she got - at least twelve hours of it.  So we weren't ready to go out for an early Turkey dinner at a local diner.  This forced us to fall into our backup plan which I had prepared for.

My backup for Thanksgiving was to cook some sausage based stuffing (technically, dressing, as it is never inside of a bird during the cooking process), a 2 1/2 lb. Turkey Breast, and make some Bananas Foster for dessert.  (I even had another level of backup, as I had purchased 4 Large Chicken Breasts 2 days before, as I couldn't find a bird small enough to cook for 2 people.) Luckily, we had the key ingredients for a Holiday Feast, even though we didn't have the Cranberry Sauce to go with our turkey.

Around 12:30 pm / 1:00 pm, we started to make the stuffing.  And this was the most labor intensive part of the meal, as we had to dry out fresh bread to ready it for use, cook the onions and celery, then cook some sausage, then mix everything together before baking it for 90 minutes.  Of course, we should have started the turkey at this time, but I delayed an hour.  By the time dinner was ready, it was a little after 4:00 pm.  And then, our plans to visit friends in Yonkers were shot - we were both way too full to even consider getting dressed and being in a position to even have a small bite to eat with friends.

Yet, with all being said, this was a good holiday.  RQS saw that I am more than willing to go out of my way for her, and I had a little fun doing the cooking for a change..

Friday, December 13, 2024

A rescue from a "Medical Prison"

 


By the time you read this, RQS will have been out of the hospital for 2 weeks. Hopefully, her blood levels will be level, and that she will not need a new medication.

- - - - - -

On the day before Thanksgiving, RQS was still in the hospital waiting to be released.  Having given the shift supervisor holy hell the night before, it seems like things started to get moving quickly. By the time I got to the hospital, she had been given her new prescription and was ready to go home.  Although she was released, the social worker assigned to her had arranged for RQS to get lunch - which never came.  So, RQS got dressed, and we took an Uber back to her place.

Once at RQS's place, we rested for a while.  Then, RQS got dressed, and we left for Croton.  A couple of hours later, we were in my car and off to get some Chinese food for dinner.  We've been to this place near Jefferson Valley several times, but we've never came close to spending $100.  This time, we broke that barrier - but it was well worth it!  We started with the Seafood Soup for 2, and then proceeded to the main course.  RQS had the mixed Seafood over thin, fried noodles, while I had the Roast Duck with Mixed Veggies.  Everything was very tasty and well worth every cent.

By the time we got home, RQS was ready to crash.  After a few minutes watching TV, we were back in the bedroom - where she promptly fell into a much needed 13 hour sleep.

Thursday, December 12, 2024

Miscellaneous Thoughts

 

Right now, many things have been going thru my head.  Here's a list of some of the things that are giving me a little angst:

  1. Trump's Cabinet Choices. 

    All of our future president's cabinet choices so far seem to have escaped from a clown car.  People such as RFK Jr. should be nowhere near any positions of power in any agency related to public health.  While watching the news, I was reminded about RFK's visit to Samoa, and the misinformation he likes to spread regarding vaccines.

  2. Trump's Political Revenge.

    DJT has vowed to take revenge on people who opposed him.  Can we afford for the Justice Department to be weaponized?  I doubt it.

  3. A possible upcoming trade war.

    We get cheap goods from the world over.  We can no longer produce low-cost goods, as they depend on low-cost labor.  Who can afford to live in the US if paid Mexican wages?  Making threats against Canada and Mexico will be counter productive, as the economies of the 3 nations are tightly integrated.  Do we want to dismantle NAFTA (or, whatever it is called now)?  I don't.  Most US goods are produced with other goods sourced from around the world.  We can not untangle this profitable web of trade connections without becoming North Korea.

  4. The Christian Nationalist war against the LGBT community.

    When blowhards are trying to deny Sarah McBride her right to relieve herself in one of the Capitol's lavatories, it shows how deep seated hatreds based on religious bias can cause us harm. We're seeing states like Texas, Louisiana, and Florida making moves to teach the bible in their public school classrooms.  Do we want to become like Iran, where only one religion and one standard of behaviors is acceptable?  I don't think so.

  5. Health Care.

    Recently, my partner, RQS had a medical issue that caused her to go to the emergency room, and then be admitted to the hospital.  However, once admitted, the hospital's bureaucracy got in the way of her being released due to non-medical reasons, causing he to miss having a fancy holiday dinner at a local restaurant.  Something has to be done to monitor both the progress of medical care, as well as the administrative process that could result in a person being kept in the hospital longer than medically needed.

    No one likes feeling like a product on an assembly line, and that is how RQS felt during her stay in the hospital.  Somehow, patients' emotional well being has become the least important item in a hospital's priority list.  No wonder why people fear going to the doctor.  Once a person has no control over any part of what is being done to him/her, they avoid losing any control at any cost.  The emotional trade off isn't worth having good health.

  6. Family.

    My brother and sister in law do not have the best of marriages.  One day, when my brother was out, I called the house and we got into a conversation.  Without going into details here, she still loves my brother, but feels like she is being neglected by him.  On his side, he resents how her illness has affected his life - as if it was a moral failure.  It is a recipe for disaster, as neither of them are able to communicate well with each other, and long standing resentments get in the way of breaking down the walls between them.

  7. Friends.

    The divisive political climate we have in the USA reminds many of a dysfunctional marital relationship, where two spouses constantly bicker all the time.  Sadly, my country at a macro level reflects what many people are experiencing at a micro level.  For example, the friend who was the best man at my wedding has changed in a very different way than I have.  He has effectively consumed the Kool-Aid, while I have learned to detect it and avoid it.  His attitude towards transgender people would be acceptable in the backwoods of Texas or in the deep reaches of Louisiana's Bayou country, but not around here.  I believe in live and let live, not imposing yourself on others.  I can only imagine his reaction if he knew I was Trans.

    Other friends are more accepting.  The host and hostess of game night have a Trans child, and have no problems with me.  Yes, their child has to live in both worlds and make their way through life.  Yet, the parents are preparing their child for their life ahead.  It's amazing that when people are continually exposed to different people how accepting of differences they become.

  8. Planned and Unplanned Expenses.

    I bought my car knowing that I'd be spending a prince's ransom to keep it in running order. This is not a bad thing.  If one has a well designed car, one can keep it on the road for a long time with proper maintenance.  I was willing to trade money for a safer car than I was driving for the past 10 years.

    However, cell phones are designed to be disposable commodities.  I hate spending money on a new phone when the old one works perfectly well, but should need only minor maintenance.  In my case, my current cell phone has a dying battery that needs immediate replacement.  (It shouldn't even be used until the battery is replaced.)  Sadly, my phone wasn't designed in a way that I could replace the battery (as I could with my first cell phone).  Instead, I have to buy a new phone, or order a replacement battery and have a specialist install it for me.  Something is very wrong here.

    Now that I am retired, I am much more sensitive to money that leaves my wallet.  Yes, I'm in the age bracket where one should expect to drain one's lifetime savings.  And yet, the weight of all these expenses will always bother me a bit.

Wednesday, December 11, 2024

A prolonged hospital stay, a cancelled holiday dinner, and a chip in my windshield.

 

Today should have been a good day.  RQS was supposed to leave the hospital and come up here.  But thanks to modern bureaucracy, she's stuck in the hospital for another night.

- - - - - -

I'm writing this post two days before Thanksgiving.  On Monday, RQS went to the doctor for some blood work, and ended up in the emergency room due to high potassium levels.  Although she was stabilized by morning, she was caught in a bureaucratic nightmare.  Both the doctors and nurses told her that she'd be going home today.  But the fates didn't get the message.

Around 9 am, RQS was told (for the first time) that she'd be going home by the afternoon.  Noon came and went, and she was told that she'd be out of the hospital before dinner.  Dinner came and went, and RQS was about to lose her cool for the third time. 

"I was told I'd be going home.  Why haven't I been discharged yet?"

The nurse on duty could only say that she was sorry, and gave the usual line of BS.  RQS demanded to see a supervisor, and found out a little more.  The medicine that works for her is expensive, and the hospital couldn't give RQS a supply without authorization from her drug formulary.  AARGH! 

"Why couldn't this have been prioritized during the day?" 

"Why has everyone been telling me that I'd be going home today?"  

"Why am I being treated like a cog in a machine, instead of a person with feelings?"

She had many more questions that couldn't be answered, and the supervisor had no power to do anything for her, save to say that he'd make a note to the daytime shift to make this a high priority.  BS, MS, and PhD - Bull S**t, More of the Same, and Piled Higher and Deeper.  If she was a VIP, they could have moved mountains for her.  But she is not.  She was breaking down on the phone.

- - - - - -

Now that we had no confidence that RQS would be discharged the day before the holiday, I decided to cancel the holiday dinner we planned at a local restaurant.  Then, I went to the supermarket, and my car's windshield got hit by a stone.  Now, I have to go to Safelite to get the windshield fixed before the bitter cold sets in.

I can't wait until the holiday is over and we can get back to normal....



Tuesday, December 10, 2024

If we only could have known what the day would bring.

 

As I write this, RQS is being admitted into the hospital for complications related to her potassium levels. You can only imagine how I felt when I heard the news.  But first....

- - - - - -

Today started out being a very nice day.  The sun was out, and we had a nice walk to my car before dropping her off at the local subway station.  I went on my way home, and she went on her way to the doctor's office to get some blood work done.  By the time I got home and started to relax, I got a call from RQS.  And this is when the day soured.

RQS told me that the doctors were holding her for a second test.  And again, her potassium levels were high enough to send her to the emergency room.  Now, I started to get worried for two reasons.  First, I want RQS to be around for a quite a few years, so any illness worries me.  Second, we had reservations for a Thanksgiving dinner that might have to be cancelled.  Too bad that I couldn't have stayed on Long Island and returned to a parking spot near her house, so that I could pick up stuff and deliver it to her.

Later in the evening, RQS sent me a message that she was being admitted to the hospital.  This meant that I'd have to be ready to bring her a change of clothes, a cell phone charger, some books, and other things that I can't remember at the moment.  Hopefully, she'll only need the change of clothes to go home when I see her.

- - - - - -

You can only guess how hectic my day is going to be tomorrow....

Monday, December 9, 2024

The only reason we left the house was to move the car.

 

RQS lives on a street with Alternate Side of the Street parking.  When I arrived on Friday, I parked on the wrong side of the street for short term convenience, knowing that I'd have to move my car again if I wanted to stay over until Monday morning.  Well, Sunday came, and I planned to stay over.

Around 3:30 pm, we went out to move the car.  It was in front of the building next door, and I had to move it to an opposite side of the street.  (Her side is no parking on Monday/Thursday mornings, while the other side is no parking on Tuesday/Friday mornings.)  We got very lucky.  There was a good open spot right around the corner.  So, I parked there before we headed to the supermarket.

The area of Queens we were in borders Brooklyn, and this is one of many neighborhoods in NYC where per-consolidation street grids clash.  The bus route that RQS takes to the subway was established when trolleys ran between Brooklyn and Queens, and had to be changed slightly when some awkward intersections were taken off the street grid.  As a result, the main bus route that takes us to a key subway station makes a strange zig-zag before it crosses Myrtle Avenue.  For us, we didn't need to do the zig-zag, as we could walk along the path the road once took and cross Myrtle Avenue without problems, on our way to the supermarket.

The Ridgewood, Glendale and Bushwick neighborhoods are undergoing ethnic change.  Gone are the days when both Ridgewood and Glendale were German neighborhoods, although some traces of this still remain in a few stores which were founded during that era.  Now, the Spanish speaking community has moved into some of the blocks while others are being gentrified.  Gone are the days when one could rent a 2 bedroom apartment for under $2,000.  Given the going rate in RQS's area, I don't know how any newcomers can afford to live there.  But I digress.

We reached the supermarket and picked up some things to have with our leftovers meal that evening.  We had a sweet tooth for Ice Cream Sandwiches, so we picked up some Klondike Cookies & Cream.  Then, we picked up an apple pie before walking back to RQS's place.  Sadly, neither of these items were to our liking.  We prefer Fat Boy's Ice Cream Sandwiches to Klondike's.  And the apple pie was best left forgotten, the brand never to be purchased again.

Were the leftovers good?  Yes.  Was it worth staying over an extra night?  Of course.  But, do I wish I found a spot on the right side of the street on Friday?  YES!!!!  Both of us would rather have stayed in bed until evening.  But if we had done so, I would have had to leave for home that night.


Sunday, December 8, 2024

Lunch with RQS's friend.


RQS and I haven't been to this restaurant in a while.  And it's always a treat going here.  This time, we went with RQS's friend, spending the better part of the afternoon with her.

- - - - - -

The day began with neither of us wanting to get out of bed.  It was cold the night before, and we were comfy under the covers when we woke up.  Our friend would be coming around 12:30 pm - 1 pm, and we didn't want to make her wait for us.  So both of rushed to get showered and dressed, and we were ready just as the friend got to RQS's door.

Our friend, let's call her J for now, arrived and we proceeded to chat for a few minutes before summoning an Uber.  One catch - the Uber arrived in less than a minute after summoning.  So RQS ended locking her door as J was getting into the car.  15 minutes later, we were at Zum Stammtisch and ready to feast.  However, we had to wait another 10 minutes for a table to be cleared for us before sitting down.

Once seated, we took our time to order, and then the food arrived.  I enjoyed some herring in cream before my jagerschnitzel arrived.  After lunch, we ordered dessert, and I had some warm strudel topped with ice cream.  No one rushed us, and we had time for a leisurely lunch and post meal discussion.  We then returned to RQS's apartment until J's friend came to pick her up.

What I didn't mention so far is that J is visually impaired, and that she uses Ubers to get around instead of Access-a-Ride (AAR).  I can't blame her, as AAR isn't that reliable.  (This is a well known issue among the visually impaired community.)  None of us wanted to take buses on a cold and blustery day, so we used Ubers to get to the restaurant.  On the whole, it was a very nice day, and I hope that the 3 of us can get together again soon. (And I hope we'll be able to tell J about my alter ego as well.)

Saturday, December 7, 2024

Game Night w. "Short Vicki"

 

I had no energy today.  Although I woke up early for a bio-break, I got back under the covers until 11 am or so.  And then killed time until evening came.

But first....

My original plans were to take advantage of this gloomy day to do some laundry.  About the only productive task I took care of was to separate the laundry into two loads: Whites and Colors.  I simply didn't want to get dressed to do anything that would take me outside my apartment.

Eventually, 4 pm came around, and I received a message from Vicki #2 ("Short Vicki") suggesting that we get together for a "Paint and Sip" near her place.  I noted that I was going to my bi-weekly game night and volunteered to check if she could come along.  After checking with the hostess, I gave the thumbs up to Vicki, and then proceeded to get ready to leave the apartment.

It was raining when I left the apartment, and I was glad that I was wearing leggings under my dress. But I still had to eat.  So I decided to try out The Halal Guys in Yonkers.  This was a big mistake.  The food was not up to the same taste quality as the other Halal joint further up the road.  So I finished my plate and made a note NOT to go there again.

Although I got to game night a little before 8 pm, I wasn't late for any games.  The one game we played, I enjoyed, as it didn't require much brain power.  We chatted a bit after the game, and then we all left earlier than usual.  This was just as well, as I barely made it home in time for a much delayed bio-break.

At least, I knew my GI-Tract is working well....

Friday, December 6, 2024

We delivered bad news today

 

Now that it's public, I can talk about things a little more than I could in the past.  My co-op is going to have a significant maintenance hike, and none of us are happy about it.

- - - - - - -

As much as I wanted to go out as Marian today, it made much more sense to go out as Mario, as I had a special co-op board meeting open to shareholders.  We planned to prepare shareholders for next year's rate hike, and introduce the new management company to our shareholders.  Things changed a little, as the new company didn't attend the meeting - and I think the co-op's attorney was happy about that.  

The meeting started at 6 m, and our board's president informed us about what was going on, giving us the low down before the old site representative and our shareholders arrived. All too soon, people started arriving, and we couldn't speak openly any more.

Once everyone was in the room, the co-op president opened the meeting, telling the attending shareholders about the rate increase.  And then, the soon to be ex site manager took over, telling attendees the story about how we got into this mess. (I won't go into details here, but I'd say that what we were told is partly truth and partly fiction.)  After that, the floor was open to questions from the audience.

One shareholder stood out - he kept dropping the name of one politician as if that fellow could do things for us.  He can't.  Insurance companies are free to set commercial rates and only issue policies to firms that meet their underwriting criteria.  Others had more reasonable questions, and we responded with what we knew - we're waiting for our mortgage holder to approve this policy, so that the forced coverage policy we have can be dropped, saving us money.

I was glad that the meeting was over by 8 pm.  There is more that I have to talk about with the co-op president, but I won't go into that here.

Thursday, December 5, 2024

The study is over, and I have received my compensation

 

How many of you have been in an MRI machine?  How many of you have been "perfectly healthy" when going into an MRI machine for a brain scan?

- - - - - - -

The official purpose of this study was to see how mental performance can be improved by playing games designed to exercise certain mental skill sets.  At the start of this study, I took a preliminary skills test, then drove to Queens to have my brain scanned.  

Going into an MRI requires that one's body be devoid of metals which could be dislodged by extreme magnetic fields.  So, I had to remove the studs from my ears beforehand, and then only wear a hospital gown when being slid into the machine.  Once one puts noise cancelling earmuffs on, one's head is locked into place.  Then one is slid into the machine, and the "fun"takes place for the next 15 minutes.  One can't scratch an itch, blow one's nose, or otherwise deal with minor discomforts while being bombarded by loud banging noises from outside.  Thank god that one must wear the earmuffs while in the MRI machine, as one would be deafened without them.

This took place 3 months ago, and I knew what to expect upon my return.  What I didn't expect is how I'd feel when coming out of the machine.   But I digress.  Around 12:45 pm, I left RQS's place and drove to the MRI center in Laurelton, Queens.  Arriving there at 1:30 pm, I walked across the street to get something to drink, and then entered the Radiation Center for my MRI.

After I filled out my paperwork, I went to relieve myself.  And this is where I started to sour on this day, as the sink was clogged and half filled with water.  Although I reported this to staff, it was not fixed by the time I left the place about 1 1/4 hours later.  When I was called for the MRI, I was told to get into a hospital gown - which wasn't there.  It took another 15 minutes to find some new gowns for me to wear. Only then, did I start to get ready to enter the MRI again.

About 10 minutes later, I was slid into the MRI machine and again bombarded with noise for 15 minutes.  This time, my time in the MRI felt like it was quicker than the first time around.  When I was slid out of the machine, I had a hard time sitting up without help, as I had no leverage to sit up properly.  Once in position, I was able to get off the table without help, but my balance was off - I stumbled like a drunk for a minute, and then was perfectly OK.  Weird!  

When I went out to the changing area, there was someone about to change into her hospital gown where my clothes were stored.  So I asked her to hold on for a minute while I fetched my clothes.  And then I got dressed to go home.  As I left the place for the last time, I felt a little sad - I was done with the study, but free to go.

An hour and a half later, I was home.  It'll be nice to use the compensation I received when I decide what to do with it....


Eastern Caribbean Cruise - Sea Day (01/24/25)

  There is not much to say about sea days on a cruise ship.  There are entertainment activities to keep one busy, as well as a healthy suppl...