My journey towards femininity, with all the bumps in the road. Who knows where this road will lead? But it certainly will be a prettier road, and one well worth traveling.
Wednesday, September 30, 2020
A highlight of the week
It's been a while since I went to a meetup with the Fun Time Friends. But this week, I finally was able to go. And the headache of getting there was worth it....
Normally, I try to set a distance limit for meetups that I only drive an hour or so to get to a meetup. However, once I reached Connecticut, traffic stopped moving. And what should have been a 70 minute trip became a 100 minute trip. Since it was too late for me to cancel dinner with the group, I texted the hostess to let her know I was going to be late. Although I was about 30 minutes late, this was not a problem, as people were still arriving for Milford's Restaurant Week dinners....
Unfortunately, I was not able to sit at the hostess's table. But I can't complain, as I was able to sit with the great group of ladies in the picture above. It was nice to feel acceptance as Marian again. People who do not know me treat me as an oversized lady.
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On the way home, I chatted with FL. She's been dealing with a low grade bug for most of the week, and she had to cancel getting together on Saturday. This is not a problem, as I am usually sleep deprived at the end of the week, and I need rest.
There's a part of me that can't wait for my census job to end. As much as I can use the money from the job, I'm tired of this schedule. As much as I'm tired of the schedule, I'll both miss having a reason to get up in the morning AND having a place with good people who I meet on a regular basis. When the census finally ends, I'll be able to do things with FL during the week - a benefit to having the census end. My big question is - Is FL too good to be real? She's making an effort to enjoy me in Marian mode, and liked the thought of going away with me in Marian mode. Is she trying too hard to have a relationship? If so, why? It seems like there should be a red flag somewhere....
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Not much else to say. More next time.
Sunday, September 27, 2020
It's been an interesting weekend - and it began on a Thursday!
At the beginning of this weekend, I wasn't sure of how things would go. There's a part of me that is very uncomfortable with the risk of letting FH go, so I can pursue a relationship with FL. I still have to figure out where I stand with MH. And, I have to keep my head clear for the last days of employment at the census. So, I have a lot on my mind these days.
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On Thursday, I had a day off, and I took the opportunity to go for a walk with another woman who answered my personal ad in female presentation. We had a nice afternoon together, and I found out that it is a very small world after all - she had done business with my ex-girlfriend before selling her old house, she exercised in the same building where my ex has her office, and she previously lived down the road from my ex. When I asked her what she thought of my ex, she put her finger to her head and started twirling it. This made my day, and I had yet to attend my Zoom meeting in the evening. By the time we turned back to the parking lot, we were almost in Stone Ridge - and I was glad NOT to be too close to my ex's office.
I rushed home so that I could talk to several people, and yet have time to attend the Zoom meetup. By the time I got in to the meeting, the host and hostess was about to leave, and control was being passed to my pen pal in Texas. It was then I found out that the ex husband of one of the ladies had been sentenced to 3 life terms - he'll likely be "Bubba's Special Friend" before long. Another of the ladies is in dire financial straits, and will need a quick influx of money to keep her in her home. It's gotten me to the point where I may anonymously send her a few dollars to help her out.
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Friday came, and I was sleep deprived. It was all I could do to stay awake at work. I was hoping to be able to hide myself away. But I got stuck answering phone calls. Most were from enumerators involving their work. And I brushed off a news reporter, as we are not allowed to have the reporter come to our office, and we are not allowed to give interviews. He was unhappy with how I treated him, but that's his problem and not mine. I was just doing my job. Later on in the day, I made arrangements to see Vicki at a Sushi restaurant in Yorktown, and we had a nice night of it. She liked how a dress looked on me, and I was glad that she suggested that I buy it.
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Saturday was another sleep deprived day at the office, and I had nothing to do. So I surfed the web for the better part of my shift. I scheduled a 6:30 dinner with FL, and we were at a restaurant in Briarcliff Manor until 10:30 or so. Hopefully, things will keep going well for us, as she seems to be a keeper. (And, NO!, I don't expect her to bob for cans of Foster's Lager from an ice bucket....)
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Sunday, I finally had enough sleep. When I arrived, I showed her my "Pregnant Phone", to explain the problem I had in talking with her the other night. (Hopefully, I'll get the battery replacement from California by Thursday/Friday, so that I can have a fixed phone over the following weekend.) Then, FH and I went to Manhattan to walk around Greenwich Village. .
It's been a while since I've driven on the LIE to the BQE, and then across the Williamsburg bridge. So I was taken by how many things have changed since I was last on these streets. Eventually, we found parking in the West Village, and we walked over to Washington Square. Next, it was off to find a restaurant - and we ate at a small Indian joint which was doing its best to stay open with pandemic restrictions. (I don't think t will survive the winter. Hopefully, I'll be wrong about this.) At lunch, FH floated the idea of taking a trip to Amish country. Although I said yes to the idea, I'm really not sure if I want to do so, as I don't know how far I should go with this relationship now. Once done with lunch, it was back to Washington Square to enjoy people watching, and then to drive home.
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In the end, I will have to thank my ex girlfriend for setting me free. Several of the women I've met after our breakup have only seen me in Marian mode and are very comfortable being with me this way. FL is comfortable with the idea of going to meetups this way and would consider a Hawaii cruise with me presenting as Marian. Would FH be comfortable with me in Marian Mode? who knows?
Since I mentioned my ex several times lately, I have to mention that she is still avoiding meetups where I'm present as Marian. She has a habit of posting a message, saying that she was sorry she couldn't make it, but had other plans. I can only imagine what would happen if she slips up and sees me (as Marian) with one of the ladies I've been seeing. Luckily, I'm in no hurry to see this happen in real life, as the last person I want to see is my ex. That's one of the few things we can agree on these days.
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