Saturday, November 27, 2021

Going into the weekend - a quick post.


The above mugshot was taken before all the crud started to hit the fan in my life.  Although I only worked at the nursing home for 4 nights (without any known complaints), it was a valuable experience for me.  It was my first job working as Marian.

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Why do I mention this?

I got a response from my former cruise partner today. (Today, meaning the day I'm writing this entry.)  She claimed that she tossed my letter - as I expected she might.  Sad for her.  She could have learned a lot by reading the letter.  But then, she never was much of a person to be introspective, or to be calm when processing things with which she is uncomfortable.  In anger, I responded by telling her to go screw herself and the horse she came in on.  Knowing the horse, she might get better action from the horse than she was getting from her then BF when we were still friends.  (I'm just joking here.  I have no way of knowing this, nor would I want to know. The horse deserves its privacy. 😉

Being serious, I know I wronged her two years ago.  It's her over the top unchecked anger that is a problem.  I'd hate it if we were to bump into each other in a public place.  She's just crazy enough to cause an unwanted  scene, as she goes from Zero to 100 in a heartbeat.  I'm just glad we live 30 minutes apart, travel in different social circles AND will be sailing on different cruise lines. One thing our last cruise taught me is to avoid doing things with a lonely person after she breaks up with her lover.  I'm just glad that I will never again hear her complain about people being too busy to deal with her immediate needs and desires.

There will never be much more to say about her in this blog.  She became a non-person after our dust up, and is no longer worth the price of a postage stamp. Yet, it's amazing how people can be assholes (myself included) at times. It's just funny that she reads my blog at times, when she hates me so much.  (Now, with this post, she has something she can complain about for the last time - just not to me.)

I can only look forward to the future with friendships healthier than our friendship was. Yet, I must thank her for helping me grow as Marian when I needed it most.

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At least, the rest of the weekend will go off on a better note.  I'm looking forward to seeing miniature "Stay Puft Marshmallow Men" on the big screen....


PS: If you liked the 1st film, you'll like this one.  It's the sequel the 1st film deserved.



Friday, November 26, 2021

I'm usually in a rush....


Today's entry will be short....

One of the problems in working as a woman is that in order to go out into the world, I need to make up my face to look presentable.  But before that, I have to shave all over my body to remove any traces of unfeminine hair that may show up on my body.  But this isn't a perfect process - I can't do my back as often as needed.

Over time, feminine grooming (Marian style) has come easy to me.  When I follow my routine in sequence, things go quickly, and I can be out the door in about an hour if needed.  This is something that my transgender readers must understand - it takes time to learn how to make one's self presentable, and more time to learn how to do this quickly.  I've learned how and when I can edit down my shaving routine, and what I must do to look nice in a hurry.

Yet, there are some things that will always take time, such as putting on pantyhose.  If they'd stay up, I'd wear thigh-highs under my longer dresses if possible.  This would be an advantage when I have to wear an all-in-one foundation undergarment.  (I have avoided them when getting dressed to the nines, as I hate the headache of using hook and eye closures after a visit to the loo.   

At least, getting myself ready to go to bed is much quicker than my morning routine.  And with that, I'll sign off for the night.

Thursday, November 25, 2021

Happy Thanksgiving!


Happy Thanksgiving!

I am very grateful that I have almost made it through the pandemic in "good health."  Although there are things I've lost due to the pandemic, I am happy that my brother and his family got through the worst in good health. I am happy that my real friends made it through the pandemic safely.  And, most importantly, I am grateful not to have infected by the virus.

Unlike many people, I didn't have financial worries during the worst of things.  I appreciate this luxury that I had that many didn't have.  The only important worries I had were for the sake of others.  And most of those worries didn't turn into problems.  The friends and family that caught the virus recovered from it and are mostly OK.  (I can't say for sure if any have/do not have any long term symptoms.)  

Other than this, I don't have too much to say.  I'd rather focus on having a good dinner with people I care about....

Wednesday, November 24, 2021

I never thought that I'd be saying NO to meetup groups.


Today's post will be a quick one, as I don't have much to say today.

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Recently, I've been saying "No" to attending meetup groups more often than I want to bother attending them.  This amazes me after all the "Sturm und Drang" I was dealing with last year.  

Right now, I'm bored with people.  Dating is a hassle, and there are times that I can't bother with the effort. Even though I feel a little lonely at times, the effort of leaving my shell often takes up more energy I want to expend in the process.  

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Could you say that I am depressed?  Maybe.  Yet, I feel like I'm still recovering from the disaster that was 2020. I was hurt by two of the people I cared about most  (In one case, I was not the innocent party.  But that's another story told elsewhere - such as in my prior blog, which is no longer available to anyone.) I spent so much energy trying to find ways to connect with people that I ignored the connections I already had.

Until things fully get back to normal, I don't know how well I can recharge.  But I know that being able to interact with the world as Marian will be part of the process.


Tuesday, November 23, 2021

Another cruise has been added to my bucket list

I stumbled across the above trip last night, and it's one I'll have to take in Mario mode.  Seeing Antarctica has been on my bucket list for a while.  Although this NCL cruise doesn't go to the Antarctic mainland, it is close enough to suit my wishes.  (I'm not going to blow the whole wad on a Hurtigruten cruise to this region, when I can spend half as much and still have a good time.)

Hopefully, I will have a new travel partner by the time I take this cruise.  However, I am not going to limit myself to NCL for a cruise in this region.  I could just as easily take the Princess cruise below:

This is a cruise that spends more time in Antarctica, allowing the cruiser to get a longer view of the beauty of that region of the planet.  This cruise might be the better deal of the two cruises, as it seems to have a broader scope of things to see on the trip.

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Bucket list trips are meant to be shared with someone.  I'm hoping that both of these trips will be available at year end 2023, so that I can choose between the two (or more) Antarctic cruises that may be sailing then. I only wish my late wife was still alive to share this experience with me.


Monday, November 22, 2021

Here's one cruise ship I won't sail on with a friend

Above is a screen clipping from a blogger whose posts I read now and then.  This woman cruises on the cheap and provides advice to people on how to take more cruises for less.  In this case, she notes the most unusual "bathroom" layout she's found on a cruise ship.

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Most cruise ships use a bathroom layout similar to that pictured on the left.  There is a toilet, a shower stall, and a sink in the same compartment.  Once in that compartment, one has complete privacy.  This is not the case on the Norwegian Epic, whose bathroom layout is illustrated on the right. The picture below should give you a better idea of how this looks from the inside.

What bothers me most about this layout is that I would have no privacy if a friend entered/exited the room while I was showering or relieving myself.  There is little reason for a layout like this, save to skimp on passenger space.

And this leads to the selection of a potential cruise partner.  Having cruised alone, and with 3 different women, I've learned that being in close quarters with the same person for a week (or more) can be better than sailing alone, or much worse than sailing alone.

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I have taken only 2 cruises by myself.  The first was a solo cruise to Alaska after losing my wife to cancer.  The second was an 11 day cruise to the Caribbean where I had a great time on the ship and made a couple of new friends.  Both of these cruises were taken in an inside cabin, and the only thing I can remember about the first cruise ship was how dark it was when the lights were out.  With the second ship, I don't remember the cabin much at all.  This, I think, was related to the mood I was in before taking the cruise.

My second cruise was taken with the girlfriend I had met shortly after losing my wife.  We were joining another couple who was celebrating their honeymoon and invited us to join then on the cruise.  (No, two couples, two separate rooms.)  I have stories I can tell about this cruise, but can't remember much about the ship, save for the main dining room where they served Baked Alaska on the cruise's final night. Then there was the cruise to Florida and the Bahamas I took with another (now) ex-girlfriend.  This was not a good cruise for the two of us to take, as it illustrated the problems that two people with two different styles would have being together - the activities on board and on shore days were not those that would bring the two of us closer together. Lastly, there were the cruises I took with my former cruise partner.  Although we had very different interests, we meshed well on all but one cruise.  We did different things, and got together for dining and for shows.  (I won't go into any detail regarding the last cruise we took together, as that was problematic from before the start. Even my Ex-Girlfriend said that going on that cruise was a big mistake for both of us, reminding me that I didn't want to go in the first place.  The former cruise partner was lonely, and needed something I could not give her in my role as a friend.)  Because I wasn't expected to entertain this partner, we got along well for our good cruises.  But on this last cruise, she exploded as she was dealing with too many stressors, with an action of mine catalyzing the explosion.  (I hope she does better with her next cruise partner.)

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Finding a compatible cruise partner can be hard.  First, you have to know whether the two of you have compatible personal habits.  ("How much space does he/she use in a cabin?"  "Is this person messy?" "Does this person snore?" are among the questions I might ask.)  Then, you may want to know whether that person needs to be "entertained" while on the cruise.  For example, I can do shore excursions by myself, and I can do them with someone.  But they have to be ones I want to do, and they will usually be ones I haven't done before.  You'll want to know whether a person is a night owl or an early bird.  This is important for the last night of the cruise, as the ship's crew is trying to get everyone off the ship as early as possible the next morning, so that they can make up the rooms for the next group of passengers.  (Who wants to hear complaints from someone who doesn't share the same sleep/wake cycle as you when dealing with the stresses of disembarkation and going home?)

Once you find this travel partner, get as much travel in as possible.  Cruises, land travel, etc. are fun, and best done with a friend.  Some of my best trips were shared with someone close to me.  Even now, I can still chuckle about a summer trip we took where we stayed in a hotel without air conditioning. (We didn't need it.)  I still want to return to a hotel on the banks of the Merced river, just outside of Yosemite park, where I stayed with a then girlfriend.  And I wish I could have traveled more with my wife while she was alive.  Now that I can have both money and time, I expect that I will be traveling again soon.  And I hope to have a friend with me with whom I can build memories.

What advice would you give to someone regarding travel partners?



Sunday, November 21, 2021

We all have baggage!

I can still remember when people with money traveled with steamer trunks like the one pictured above.  These were sturdy items meant to take abuse - and many of these cases did.  Although I'm going on a cruise soon, the days of these trunks are long gone, and many have been repurposed for use as furniture. Even the luggage I had up to a couple of years ago is obsolete, as the goal now is to make a suitcase as strong and light as possible.  This allows a person to carry more items (usually clothing) in a suitcase, and still not get hit with overweight charges when taking a flight.

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Today, I am thinking of the problems I might have when I tall one woman that I live a good portion of my life as Marian.  Will she run away, as several other women have done?  Or, will she be intrigued?  How do I phrase things as not to scare this woman off?  The woman I want to reveal myself to has baggage of her own.  She has taken on a responsibility that few women would accept - all to help two people who are not in a position to help themselves yet.  So there might be a positive ending, if we could see things through to a positive ending. 

Right now, it's been over 2 years since a woman has shared a bed  with me, and I miss the experience.  Yet, this period has been one of growth.  I've had to learn NOT to lean on two people I once depended on - and I've come out OK.  (I wonder how well one of them is doing - but I'm not going to ask about it.)  It seems that losing important people in my life causes emotional growth spurts for which I see things differently at the end of the process.  

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I have more baggage than just being Marian.  But I only plan to show it to someone who is comfortable trusting me enough to see all of her baggage.  I wonder how long it will take for that to happen....

Was she dead or alive? Inquiring minds wanted to know.

  I hadn't seen Pat in months, and I haven't been able to reach her by voice or text.  Given that she's 84 years old, I figured ...