Thoughts about a friend and her husband

 

I had lunch with a friend the other day, and noticed that she may be a little divorced from an objective reality.  A society needs objective rules to function, even if it means that some actions automatically give the wrong person the benefit of the doubt in legal issues.

My friend has been married for over 25 years.  She has been with this man through thick and thin.  One of the trouble spots in their relationship was when he was stopped by a cop and charged with a DWI (Driving While Intoxicated).  This caused him to lose his license for 3 years, and for my friend to drive him to and from work, all while going to work herself.  At that time, she told me that she'd divorce him if he ever was stopped for DWI again.  (Most of their property is in her name alone.)  She wasn't going to judge him - if he was out drinking and needed a ride, she'd pick him up - no questions asked.

Normally, when someone gets his/her license back and that person stays clean, there is no problem.  Things go back to a new normal, and the person has learned from his/her error.  (Or, that's the way things aught to be.)  Yet, there are some lingering consequences to a DWI that most Americans don't bump into until they travel to foreign lands....

Cruising has become my main way of recharging my batteries.  This friend would love to go on an Alaskan cruise with her husband.  But there is one problem - his DWI.  Canada considers a DWI to be a felony, and will not (in general) let Americans even travel through their country if they have a DWI. So, how does this affect my friend and her husband?  As I mentioned to her, her husband would have to apply for an exemption in advance of cruising through Canada,  For most people, this would not be a problem.  They recognize that laws are laws, and each nation has a right to set its own standards for how people are expected to behave and who is admitted to that country or not. . 

Most people consider that DWI and DUI (Driving Under the Influence) standards have to be objectively applied.  If a person drives while over the blood alcohol limit, he/she is considered to cause an accident if one occurs.  (The accident would not have occurred had the DWI driver not been on the road.)  My friend objects to this, as she claims that her husband drives safely - even after a few drinks. 

Unfortunately, my friend will not be able to take the Alaskan cruise that she and her husband would like to go on.  He would refuse to apply for an exemption to be able to travel through Canada.  She supports him, as she believes that the objective standard noted above shouldn't apply to someone like her husband.  Sadly, their pride gets in the way of reality - sometimes, one has to admit that one has been wrong, in order to overcome the penalties of doing wrong.

Attending a meetup

 

It's been years since I belonged to this meetup group.  The woman who sponsored it had gotten divorced, closed her restaurant, and moved out of state. However, I try to maintain membership in some meetup groups which have mid-week get togethers.

 

This past Thursday, I was able to attend a meetup with a group whose meetings are usually on weekends.  Like some of the meetups I've attended over the past year, this one was a trivia/dining get together at The Bayou in Mt. Vernon.  Prior to Covid, I would usually be at this restaurant several times each year.  But now, this was the first time I've been here since my former cruise partner and I had the spat that ended our friendship 5 1/2 years ago.

 

Parking in Mt. Vernon is always a headache.  Luckily, I was able to find a spot one block over from the restaurant. I was the first to arrive.  So, I killed time until another person came in and recognized me.  And then, we waited for the meetup's host to arrive.  The host arrived, and we got seated before the trivia contest started.  When asked for a name for our trivia team, one lady suggested the Bayou Babes.  It was nice to be considered one of the girls.

 

By 10 pm, trivia was over with, and I was on my way home.  I'm glad I didn't cancel this meeting.....