It's funny how things have changed in the past few years.... The other day, I had plans to meet a woman for a date. Normally, this would not be an issue for me. However, I was so comfortable in the casual female outfit I was wearing that I didn't want to change into male mode for this date. What does this say about who and what I am becoming? Although I finally changed into a pumpkin and went on the date, there was a part of me that missed being able to stay in my female presentation. After spending Monday through Thursday working in female mode, it became hard for me to change into male mode - something I used to do much more often than I do now.
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Recently, I received a message from the host of our Thursday night gaming group. The family misses our weekly gaming sessions, and would like to host another outdoor session. Hopefully, the weather will be good enough for a comfortable get together. It will be nice to see everyone again. I just wonder - what will winter be like? Will they be comfortable having the usual gang in their house? Or, will they play it safe and wait until there is a vaccine for the virus?
Thinking about the gaming group, I'll soon be seeing one of the ladies from the group for lunch. I have to treat this person with kid gloves, as I need to be sure if her intentions are friendship or something else. I will entertain both options, but play the passive recipient of interest - showing my interest, but in a way that she has to initiate the next step forward.
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So far, none of the groups I'm really interested in (save Thursday night gaming) has had an in person meeting, other than the Live Music group. And this group has several more meetings scheduled during the Summer - until the colder weather sets in. Until then, I am registered for several meetups, while the ex girlfriend has stayed in her group for the most part. And this suits me fine. Sooner or later, our paths will cross and I will treat her civilly - as if I were meeting a total stranger. (Actually, I'd be more friendly to the total stranger, as I'd have the possibility of making a new friend. With the ex, I just want her out of my way so that she doesn't interfere with me participating in any other social activities.)
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WDJ came out of the woodwork a little, sending me this message a little over a week ago:
I'm going out today, need to shower, shampoo, get dressed etc & leave early so my time is limited. BUT if you give me a ph # where I can call you, I can talk a little bit-no gossip, just some straight up convo.
I wonder what's going on with her. She has my phone number, so what does she want to talk about? I know that she is now Facebook friends with the ex, so I wonder....
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Right now, I have 3, maybe 4, dating irons in the fire and I'll have to let some go soon. The woman from Long Island is nice, but I'm not sure if there is enough chemistry there to make things work. The woman I have seen twice in Marian Mode is nice, but I don't yet know enough about her to know what her baggage is. And then, the woman I saw this Thursday is nice, has a similar set of goals as I do. But can she accept me as Marian as well as Mario? Of course, I should not forget the possibility of the woman from my gaming meetup - is she interested in me as more than a friend?
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Given what 2020 has been like so far, I'd like to turn the clock back a few years and do a reset. I spent too much time with someone who couldn't accept me for who I am. I looked for work that I wasn't that interested (or qualified) in doing. And, I talked too much about someone else's life in my blogs. I'd bet if I had made a few different decisions, I'd have been in a better place when 2020 came along. Since there is no such thing as a working time machine, I guess I'll have to learn from my mistakes and prepare to make new and different ones....
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