Have you ever looked at a messy apartment and congratulated yourself for getting rid of a lot of the clutter? That's how I felt yesterday after a closet clean out session. In addition to rationalizing what I'm keeping in the closet, I have given it greater organization for future storage.
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Some of the things I found in the closet were tools needed for painting and for bathroom tile work. Although I will likely hire out most of the future work of this ilk, it pays for me to keep some of these tools around - just in case. Next, I found 12 bottles of distilled spirits, all of which I intend to give away over time. The bottles are properly sealed, and will likely have retained their alcohol content after 30 years. Then, I found enough clothing to fill 2 large donation bags - which went to the donation center today. What I found most interesting is the amount of makeup supplies that I've been keeping in reserve for future use. I never realized how much stuff I bought planning to use, and then stored away as my makeup needs changed.
I will soon need to clean out my storage compartment, so that I can make room for things I don't need in this apartment on a regular basis. For example, I want to rotating out-of-season clothing between the apartment and the storage apartment, so that the apartment (and its closets) doesn't feel cramped anymore. Part of this cleanup will be the disposal of a 600+ Vinyl LP collection I don't play these albums anymore, and I want to see them go where someone might enjoy them.
In both the apartment and the storage compartment, I have some cut glass decanters which have never been used. I know that 2 of these decanters in the apartment were wedding presents, but I'm not sure of the others that are in the storage compartment. There will be a tinge of sadness when I get rid of these items, as I will be feeling sad for hopes that died with my wife. The decanters are among many items I have which provide connections to my late wife, and going through all the clutter has stirred up both memories and feelings. The more "valuable" things were when my wife was alive, the more feelings I will need to deal with as I dispose of those things.
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Given where things are now, I'm starting to see light at the end of the tunnel. There's a part of me that wonders what my late wife would be doing had I been the one to pass away. But I'll never have answers to those questions. All I can do is move forward, so that I have a place that I can be proud to have guests in again.
