A philosophy which usually works for me is
When in doubt, do or say nothing.
All too often when I find that I "need" to act, I haven't thought enough things out. This is what caused me to give the ex the "evidence" she needed to blackball me from a particular meetup group. If I had done or said nothing, she wouldn't have been able to screw me.
Why do I mention this?
Recently, I caught myself thinking of a conversation I had with my ex that referenced the nagging issue of the meetup groups. Instead of giving her any ammunition, I said nothing. I can always say something later on when something really needs to be said.
Do I know if the ex is reading this blog? I must assume: Yes. So I offer some advice. The closer you are (or have been) to someone who writes a diary, the more you should resist the temptation to read it. If you do, you might find out things about yourself that you don't like or can't accept.
Sadly, I did say too much in a now deleted entry. And for this I am sorry.
- - - - - -
A year and a half ago, I lost FCP as a friend, in part because she decided to read this blog and find out what I really thought about her. Since I was tired of her drama, this was not a great loss. But losing the girlfriend afterwards was like a sucker punch to the gut. At least, in the battle we fought last year, I got my punches in. If I felt like s--t, she did too. Unlike her, I will say that this pain could have been avoided.
It's just too bad that we haven't yet found a way to be real friends who meet now and then. And now, I doubt we ever will because of being too open with who I am.
PS: The original version of this entry was much longer. I took my advice in its editing.
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