Skipping out on a meetup and making new plans.

 

In the past, when in my "Pink Fog", I experimented with my gender presentation and went to meetups geared to women.  I was accepted, though most knew I was TG.  Yet, after a bad experience or two, I decided to skip out on a women's meetup. As much as I could be reacting out of fear, I also feel that I've been eating out way too often, and need to do something else other than meeting new acquaintances.  This means that I again had the option to go into NYC and see a play while RQS is away for the weekend.

Did I go to the play on Friday?  No. Although I woke up early enough to go out and take a 1 mile walk, I stayed inside much of the day, and went out only to buy some essentials at the local BJ's Wholesale Club.  That's where I found out that my reproduced card with my Marian picture didn't work.  (This was a planned test of the reproduction, as I had the good card with Mario's picture on me.)  Since I no longer have the card with my Marian image that works (it was stolen while I was in Chicago last year), I'll have to bite the bullet and announce that I am trans to get an official card with Marian's picture and name on it.

- - - - - -

Saturday came, and I took my time on getting up.  Although there are two full loads of laundry to be done, I've had no energy to do them.  Instead, I decided to migrate most of my full resolution photos to be backed up in Amazon Photos, so that I can make space on Google photos for new pictures.  This has been a very time consuming process, as I have to upload photo organization and information from my computer's hard drive to create albums in Amazon photos.  By midday, less than half of my photos were in organized Amazon photo folders.  At least, this is only a time consuming task that will take several days to complete.

Later in the day, I decided to go and see an Off Broadway play.  Instead of seeing "Celino v. Barnes" like I planned (the evening performance was sold out), I chose to see "Someone Spectacular" in its place.  (If I had thought more, I'd have gone to see Blue Man Group and saved "Someone Spectacular" for when RQS is back home.  But I digress....)  

I purchased my ticket online, then headed down to NYC with only a few minutes to spare.  The 4:52 pm train gave me 2 hours in which I could find something to eat, then make it to the theater.  Normally, I would have no problem leaving Grand Central at 7:00 pm, taking a crosstown bus to make an 8:00 pm performance.  So I went downstairs for a bite to eat, then listened to a busker perform "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy" on his horn.  However, the bus I took was overcrowded and took almost 45 minutes to make it to 10th avenue from Grand Central (4th Avenue/Park Avenue).  For those not familiar with New York City, that's a speed of 1.33 miles per hour!  NYC should be ashamed for rushing the extension of the Flushing line (the #7 train) to Hudson Yards without having a 10th Avenue stop.  In the rush to get the job done "on time" for political purposes only, we lost a much needed stop on the West Side that would serve some Off Broadway theaters and get people onto faster subsurface transit.

Eventually, I found myself in front of the theater and picked up my ticket.  A few minutes later, and I was seated for the play.  Now, the opening 10 minutes has the cast fiddling around, moving chairs and things, killing time before their grief therapist is to arrive.  But the therapist never arrives, and here the real play truly begins.  If one has been to group therapy, especially Grief therapy, then the situations of each of the characters will seem very familiar.  So when the play starts having the characters start baring their souls, the play becomes both funny and serious at the same time.  I'm not going to spoil this play by giving out any more details.  But I highly recommend seeing this play if you are in the NYC area.

When I got out of the theater, I noticed that the crosstown buses were running every 15-20 minutes or so.  Instead of waiting and missing my train to Croton, I walked the 2 long blocks to 8th Avenue, where I made the big mistake of entering the subway system to walk the last block over to 7th Avenue where I could catch the shuttle to Grand Central.  I must have walked up and down stairs equivalent to that of a 4-5 story building while walking that last block.  (But I did get my workout for the day!)  Luckily, I made it to Grand Central with 15 minutes to catch my train.

On the way home, I had a texting conversation with RQS regarding the party she attended in Boston.  I won't go into too much, save that I am concerned about RQS being in a car when her friend is driving due to her questionable judgement.  Hopefully, RQS can find polite ways to tell this friend NOT to drive when she's partied for too long....

Having a weekend off at the wrong time.

 

One of the problems a person can have in a healthy relationship is not having enough alone time at the right points in a person's schedule.  In short, one needs "Me Time" - whatever way that time may be spent.  It certainly doesn't mean that one doesn't care for one's love.  Instead, it means that one has to recharge one's batteries to keep expressing that love.  For some, it means simply being with friends.  For others, it may mean pursuing one's hobbies.  In my case, it involves being able to live life as Marian, and share that life with my partner.

I enjoy being with people, but I'm not an extrovert.  It's the conversational aspect of being with people that I like - either by imparting information, or by receiving information.  My problem is that being a polymath that likes to share, I can overwhelm others with my knowledge. Luckily, I often end up finding intelligent people to be with, some of whom have similar issues to mine.

This coming weekend, RQS will be away in Boston visiting a friend.  That gives me a weekend that I can use to recharge my batteries   However, none of my meetup groups are holding any gatherings of interest to me.  Since the weather will be turning hot again, I don't plan on going into the city to visit any museums or see any plays.  I've already seen most of the friends I see on a regular basis - they are not the types with whom I can drop in at a moment's notice.  So, what will I do?  That's the question I have to answer. Given that my nail polish is still looking good, I will stay in Marian mode for the upcoming weekend. With my ears being newly pierced, swimming is out of the question.  One thing I know is that Air Conditioned comfort will be essential to get through the coming weekend.

Since the weather looks good for the start of the weekend, I'll consider going into NYC to see a play early on, and then drive somewhere late in the weekend.  It's not perfect.  But I realize how import a person RQS has become in my life, and that I will be glad to see her when she returns from her friend's place.

Catching up with things at home

 

Today was another do-nothing day.  I might have done a little bit of putting away stuff, but not enough to say I did much.  

- - - - - -

I woke up today with only one thing on my schedule - a "Tea" meetup in White Plains.  (Think of: English Breakfast, Earl Grey, and China Black, not the herb my generation also called "Tea".)  So, I lollygagged for most of the day, save for putting travel related items back in their storage bag.  When 5:00 pm came around, I showered, shaved, and dressed to go out as Marian.  As I was starting up my car, an acquaintance called to talk about many things.  (I had missed her call this weekend, as I was in-flight to JFK.  I just wonder what happened to the message I sent her, saying I was in transit.)  This kept me busy for most of the drive to the meetup.  

When I got to White Plains, I had a little problem finding the tea parlor.  But I found the place in time to have a savory danish and a serving of iced tea before we moved over to Playa Bowls next door.  Our motley crew kept up the conversation started in the tea parlor.  (One woman asked whether I had been to the LGBT center nearby, and I mentioned that they are constructing a building of their own in the heart of White Plains.  So I know that she probably read me, yet treated me as just another woman.) We talked about some of the meetup groups in Westchester, and noted that the leader of one of the groups (a leader that couldn't deal with me being transgender) was a bigot, and that her group wasn't worth being in.  (This feeling was echoed by others at the table.)  Hopefully, I will be able to meet these people again soon, as we all "clicked" together.

All too soon, it was time to go.  So I decided to make a run to Wegman's to pick up some food for the rest of the week.  Shortly after I loaded my car, I saw some lightning.  By the time I got home, it was raining hard enough to have me leave two 12-packs of soda in the car.  At least I got home safe and sound - and ready for tomorrow afternoon at the dentist....

Lunch with an old friend (postponed), and dinner with a new meetup group.

 

Today, I was supposed to meetup with an "old" friend, and then attend a meeting with a new meetup group.  Well, things didn't work out as expected.  Just after I had gotten dressed to meet her for lunch, SJM texted me to postpone lunch, as her son was taken to the hospital.  (I won't say more than this here.)  But she had one hell of a day, and we'll catch up with each other in the morning.  So, instead of meeting SJM, I picked up an egg sandwich at the deli where I used to stop every day before going to work at the imaging firm.

It's amazing how some people remember you after a couple of years.  I was greeted warmly, with the "what happened to you?" question.  I mentioned that I had retired, then told not to make myself scarce.  (Of course not, they want my business and they like friendly faces.)  With sandwich in hand, I decided to drive up to Poughkeepsie to browse the spring offerings at Lane Bryant.  While on the road, I chatted with my friend Maria, and we caught up with what's happening in each other's lives. And before too long, I was at the mall.

It was nice being in Marian mode again.  It's been more than a week since I last presented as female.  Once inside the mall, I noticed my legs weren't used to walking any distance - something I have to work on before going to Norway later this year.  There were some nice things at the store, but nothing that said "Buy Me!"  And that's just as well.  I've spent too much on clothing lately, buying another unitard from Universal Standard, a denim dress from Eshakti, and some shoes from Woman Within.  (It's hard to pass up good bargains when these are things I want to have in my closet.)  Now, I have to buy some things to wear over the unitards I have when not in exercise mode.

Once I got home from the mall, I relaxed for an hour before driving to Yonkers for another meetup.  This time, it was at an informal pizza joint in a business park off of Executive Boulevard.  I was the second to arrive, and we were all seated at the bar in order to get separate checks.  And this is where another feminine experience comes in....

Last night, I mentioned to one of the people at the meetup that I had been shopping for a car.  Well, he offered to help me buy a car - and volunteered to be my masculine "beard" when I go back to the dealership.  (My feminine presentation must be reasonably convincing now.  Little does he know that I present as male when dealing with car issues.)  Once he saw me, he showed me the information he gathered from one dealership's web site, as well as talking about what he's learned from his experiences car shopping.  Are all men like this?  AARGH!!!!  In his own way, he respected me last night for what I knew about cars, but was treating me like a lady who needed a man in her life to deal with these things.  Am I like this when presenting as Mario?  I hope not.  Once I was ready to leave, he showed me his new car - with all the bells and whistles.  Typical male behavior....

Luckily, I was able to make a graceful exit after a few minutes and left for home.  It was nice to be able to strip off all of the garments that cisgender women hate so much!!!!

 

 

PS: My friend's son is OK, and is at home resting as I write this.

Lunch with a new friend, and dinner with an old meetup group.

 

Today was an interesting day, as I had two meals out.  The first was lunch with a new friend that left me with questions, and the other was with a group of people I know from a meetup group which I dine with from time to time.  

- - - - - -

On one of my recent trips into NYC, I met this new friend while waiting for the elevator at Croton-Harmon station.  We exchanged numbers, and agreed to meet for lunch one day.  Today was that day.  We met at a Mexican restaurant in Ossining and had a pleasant meal.  But one thing bothered me and I didn't realize it at the time - she was asking a lot of questions about me, and not sharing that much about herself.  Given that most people love to talk about themselves a little, I wonder if she was pumping me for information for nefarious purposes.  If this is so, I'll bet that she'll be a little shocked if she finds out I am not a cisgender woman.  

Why did I mention this?

Later in the evening, I was bothered by the nature of the conversation.  And I decided to talk about this with a friend I'll be meeting for lunch tomorrow.  If my radar has detected something wrong, she can help steer me to the right people who can help.  

- - - - - -

Later on in the day, I braved the rains and trekked to Eastchester for a dinner with the meetup group.  It was the usual cast of characters, and I'll bet that the men there were surprised about the knowledge I had from car shopping and my travels by railroad.  If I were a cisgender woman a generation younger than I am, I might have been interested in the more typically masculine one of them.  The other was a mousy looking fellow who I'll bet rarely attracts women.  

Why did I mention attractiveness?

Well, there were 5 people at my table: an average looking fellow at the far end of the table, a hefty fellow across from me, a mousy man catty corner from me, and a mousy woman to my side.  Ignoring myself, a trans woman whose size makes her look like a beached whale, only the fellow at the far end of the table fell in the normal range of attractiveness. And this led to a conversation I had with RQS later in the evening.  Although I attend meetups only to develop friendships, others attend these meetings as a way to kill time until they find a mate and have too little time to meet with casual acquaintances.  

- - - - - -

But, back to my lunch date....

Hopefully, my radar has detected a false positive with the new friend.  But if I'm wrong, I want to be prepared for the worst.

Sending a letter

 

The other day, I sent a letter to someone I once knew.  It was meant to be a polite way of reopening a channel of communications between two people, as the holidays would be a good time to see if this person was looking for a way to reopen up communications between us.

- - - - - -

This got me thinking - how many people have we lost contact with because of things getting in the way? One acquaintance from my days running a FIDO BBS (Bulletin Board System) and I never seem to connect with each other, although we occasionally try to do so.  He has a rewarding family life, with a wife and children.  Hopefully, we'll be able to connect soon.  DCD has had health and family problems.  But he is a friend of questionable value, as he doesn't make much of an effort to stay in contact anymore, now that his life is falling apart.  Most of my polyamorous friends in the "North Country" have scattered to the winds, and I don't miss them because we never built strong bonds.  And I don't go to many meetups these days, as I haven't found many of the groups conducive to making friends. 

Did I gain much from meetup groups?  Well, with one meetup group, I made some good friends I can count on to be there for me on occasion.  With others, I have made one or two friends.  But, for the most part, I gained invaluable experience being out in the world as Marian.  And this is what counts....

I skipped going into the city today

 

When the day began, I was thinking of going into NYC and seeing a matinee performance of an off-Broadway play.  However, I didn't buy my ticket on time, and decided to stay in Westchester for the day.

- - - - - -

Considering that I didn't get out of the house until after 12:00 pm, I knew that trying to see another matinee would be pushing  the limits.  So, I decided to go for lunch at a diner in White Plains.  While there, there was a couple of women chatting away in Spanish, while the son sat quietly at the table.  By the time I was done, I wanted to tell the mother that her son was well behaved - but it wouldn't have been received as I'd meant it.  So I erred on the side of caution, and left the diner to visit my acquaintances at the LGBT Center

Having been to the LGBT center many times, I knew a way into the parking lot that allows me to avoid the building entrance for a pre-school on the other side.  When I entered the building, I met one of my old acquaintances, and we caught up on things while he was setting up for a meeting.  He introduced me to a few new people, and I left shortly afterwards, as the meeting was about to start.

My next stop was my home, where I decided to nap for a while before going to a trivia night meetup in Peekskill.  As much as I wasn't in the mood to go, I decided not to bail on the meetup.  And I enjoyed myself, in spite of not having the chance to chat much.

In short, it was a nice day out as Mario, and one of the last I'll have before my cruise as Mario....

Trivia Night - A short post

 

With the weather being what it has been of late, I wasn't in the mood to get up, go outside and do things. So, I took my time doing nothing all day until I was ready to get showered and dressed to go to trivia night with a meetup group.

Getting ready to go out normally wouldn't be a problem for me in either gender presentation.  Not knowing today's outside conditions made me think of how I wanted to dress, and whether it would be the way a cisgender female would dress.  And that's where my trouble began.  I wasn't going to wear a dress as a dress.  At most, I'd wear one as a tunic, and wear a pair of leggings underneath.  But I thought of an alternate outfit - a nice top and slacks combination.  So I pulled a nice top out of the closet and reached for what I thought was a pair of trousers.  AARGH!  These were leggings!  I couldn't wear them with the top I planned to wear.  As a result, I went back to my closet for the first tunic dress I could find.  At least, I looked put together, if a little bit drab.

Now that I was ready to go, it was off to Yorktown for trivia.  We had a small group, and we performed respectfully well after 5 rounds.  But we still lost.  And then it was time to go home for the night.  As much as I'd like to get together with the meetup group more often, I enjoy getting together with RQS more often. 

Seeing friends

 

 
It's been a long time since the above group held a meeting, and I've grown a lot as a person since then.  Yet, I yearn a little for the innocence and ignorance I had back then, as I was in a period of rapid social growth as Marian.

- - - - - -

Lately, I've been trying to catch up with friends I've made over the years: friends I've made at work, friends I've made through meetups, and friends I've made in the general course of life.  It isn't always easy finding the time or money to get together with these people.  But I try to do so.

As I write this, I will be lunching with a friend from where I last worked.  Next week, I'll be meeting with one of my transgender acquaintances, and with a woman I once dated.  It's not always easy planning things 2+ weeks ahead, as I've found that most people are only able to plan for social engagements that are 1 or 2 weeks ahead.

Now that I'm seeing RQS, I have even less time to get together with people, as most of them are unattached.  However, I do not intend to make the mistake I made when I was married.  Losing friends is easy when one is coupled.  Keeping them is much harder.  And I intend to do my best to keep them.

Drag Queen Bingo - Much less than I thought it would be.

 

The other day, I went with a meetup group to see "Drag Queen Bingo".  Although it was a pleasant diversion, something was lacking for me.  No, it is not because I am a biological male wearing a dress.  But it's likely to be caused by the humor not entertaining me.

As I get older, it's much harder to get me to laugh.  For the most part, it's a case of none of these jokes seeming fresh.  I get a bigger kick out of old Borscht Belt humor in "Old Jews Telling Jokes." Several years ago, a former girlfriend (not XGFJ) and I saw an Off-Broadway presentation of this humor, and had a great time.  Most of these jokes are timeless, and they still can make people laugh with their whole bodies. (And I'll bet that some people peed themselves laughing....)

Sometime soon, I plan to take RQS to see a regional presentation of these jokes, and expect these jokes will make us laugh as much as they did for our parents' generation.  Much better than seeing a Drag Queen make forgettable jokes - even if the Drag Queen is very friendly.

A meetup that I didn't plan on attending.

 

Last night, I forgot to cancel a meetup.  So, instead of going home for the night to relax, I had dinner out at a local Hibachi steakhouse with the group.  

But first....

In the past, when most of my life was in male mode, I'd be rushing home to change into female clothing, apply my makeup, and transfer my legal id into my feminine wallet before going out for the evening.  Tonight, I drove home from work, changed into a dress, freshened up my makeup, and made sure that I had my ATM card in my purse.  Same stuff, but different starting wardrobe.

I made it to the restaurant on time, and saw several people that I knew from other meetups.  It was nice to see them again, as well as meeting someone new.  I was lucky that the people I most wanted to speak with were near me, as the noise from the kids in the other room made it almost impossible to be heard over the din.  Luckily, one of those 2 birthday parties ended by the time our main courses were served, and we were able to chat over dinner without shouting.

All too soon, the night ended, and I was back at home.  

- - - - - -

Tomorrow, my coach turns into a pumpkin.  It is possible that RQS and I go to the Museum of Sex.  If we do, we'll be sure to visit Super Funland.  (I'll let you follow the links on your own for more information.)

Hudson Valley Restaurant Week

 

I wasn't planning on going to a meetup tonight.  However, I ended up going as a space freed up at the last minute - and I wanted to try out a new restaurant.

- - - - - -

Normally, I wear some kind of tunic and leggings when I go to work.  However, I wanted to look a little nicer when going to an upscale restaurant.  So I went home and stripped, then put on some stockings and a dress before going out again.

It took me a few minutes to find a parking spot near the restaurant in White Plains.  No, it wasn't that crowded in that area of town.  It was because the streets had me going way out of the way to effectively go half a block in the wrong direction on a one-way street.  But once there, I met the group and sat down to have a nice dinner.

You'll notice that I haven't mentioned the name of this place.  The food was good, but the service was inattentive.  They simply did not have the staff to maintain a pre-covid level of service, and it showed in our post-covid environment.  There were several times that we had to ask the wait staff for help, and even then, some tasks were left incomplete.  The one I noticed most was when the waiter filled the water glasses of 3 people, leaving the 4th with an empty glass. I was also affected, when the wrong dessert was brought to me. Then, when the desired dessert was delivered, I didn't get a fork with which to eat it.  I ended up using my spoon to do so.

- - - - - -

Although I had signed up for another meetup tomorrow, I bailed out on it.  I have enough things to do that will have me eating out.  So why add more calories to the waistline?

Cause and effect

 

The other day, I received a communication from someone who said that I betrayed her.  That word may be a little harsh, but I never meant to hurt this woman.  She then mentioned my ex-girlfriend as a comparison, and I responded - my ex betrayed me.  In short, I was saying that almost all people should get a second chance when no evil intent was intended.  Sadly, this person will likely hold her grudge forever. 

But this got me thinking a little....

One of the things this person has in common with my ex is a connection to me.  Could she have influenced the ex to do certain things?  Possibly.  In anger, people will do the strangest things and regret them later. But I was thinking in a very different direction.  What if the ex was trying to send me a signal, and it misfired in a way she couldn't expect?  When a person says they want to break up, one shouldn't expect a newly minted ex not to think about dating - even if it's the day after the breakup.

This triggered a thought about another woman I know who was separated from her husband for years. When he died, like me, she wanted to get back into the saddle as quickly as possible.  For both of us, this approach didn't lead us in the direction we expected to go.  In my case as of late, if I didn't go out in the world as Marian, I'd have had my choice of 2 different girlfriends.

As you can guess, I've been doing a lot of thinking while working.  My MP3 player can distract me only so much.  I get a lot of ideas for this blog while screen scraping or key entering data at the office.  Yet, only some of them have any value to me these days.  I don't want to include events from others' lives as I did in the past.  Yet, I must say that the chaos I saw first hand made for interesting reading for some people - especially one person who both spoke and wrote loudly.  

Lately, I don't go into as many meetups as I used to in the past.  I'm a little bit more picky now.  One group is hit and miss due to the small group size.  The other is hit and miss due to the distance to get there and to get home.  Do I miss them?  Sometimes.  But, I no longer need that many meetups to be with people. Strangely, that's a gift that my ex, this former acquaintance, and the pandemic have given to me. 

I shouldn't have bothered with the meetup tonight.

 

Lately, I've been feeling very tired, and I haven't had much energy to do much of anything when I get home.  But tonight was the first chance I've had in a while to go to one of my remaining meetup groups to "Celebrate" National Pizza Day.  So I said "to heck with it", and took the 1 hour drive to hang out with the group as Marian.  I wasn't prepared for a place so noisy that I could barely could make myself heard over the din.  Yet, I had a nice time.  But it wasn't worth the drive when I needed to catch up on my sleep. 

On the way home, I realized that I was feeling bloated, and have had way too many carbohydrates in my diet lately.  So I'll have to change this, so that I can fit into my dresses as spring approaches.  But if I were to get another job, it would likely be as Mario - and those dresses would still stay in the closet.  The big question is: Do I really want to keep working?  This job has triggered bad eating habits, and I have gained 10 lbs. over the past year.  Would I eat better if I were working at a job I enjoy more?  Would I eat better if I finally retired for good?  Who knows?  But I know one thing: I shouldn't have gone to the meetup tonight or pigged out on pizza....

I never thought that I'd be saying NO to meetup groups.

 

Today's post will be a quick one, as I don't have much to say today.

- - - - - -

Recently, I've been saying "No" to attending meetup groups more often than I want to bother attending them.  This amazes me after all the "Sturm und Drang" I was dealing with last year.  

Right now, I'm bored with people.  Dating is a hassle, and there are times that I can't bother with the effort. Even though I feel a little lonely at times, the effort of leaving my shell often takes up more energy I want to expend in the process.  

- - - - - -

Could you say that I am depressed?  Maybe.  Yet, I feel like I'm still recovering from the disaster that was 2020. I was hurt by two of the people I cared about most  (In one case, I was not the innocent party.  But that's another story told elsewhere - such as in my prior blog, which is no longer available to anyone.) I spent so much energy trying to find ways to connect with people that I ignored the connections I already had.

Until things fully get back to normal, I don't know how well I can recharge.  But I know that being able to interact with the world as Marian will be part of the process.

 

Still thinking of a bucket list cruise.

 

Two years ago, I could have gotten last minute deal on a balcony cabin for the above Thanksgiving time cruise for roughly $1,300 excluding taxes and port fees. (They dropped the single supplement a few days before sailing.  Otherwise, the cabin would have sold for $2,600.)  Today, a similar cruise would set me back roughly $8,000.  What's the difference?  Pent up demand for cruising combined with limited availability of cabins has made this cruise unaffordable for many. 

Two years ago, I posted an entry about cruises I considered taking.  Ships are not being repositioned in a way one can predict from year to year. In the past, you might find ships that did the West Coast Alaska run now doing a Mexico run.  Sometimes, ships would be repositioned through the Panama Canal, so that they can do a Caribbean run in the Winter.  (The reverse run would take place in the Spring, preparing for the yearly Alaska cruising season.)  Now, due to the pandemic, cruise lines are moving ships to regions where they can make the most money with limited capacity.  Before the pandemic, one could easily find cruises that did a full transit of the canal.  Today, many more ships do only a partial transit - and people seem happy with that.

When the time comes, I will make sure that I have a nice one piece bathing suit ready to go for a trip to the sun.  I can't wait to be at pool side on either a Hawaii or Panama Canal run.... 

- - - - - -

On other matters....

Casual readers of this blog will notice that I am not going to as many meetups as I used to in the past.  There are two reasons for this.  First is the problems I had last year.  The groups I was able to attend have either disbanded, or simply stopped meeting.  Second is that I'm simply too tired to go out for the sake of going out.     

When I look at my schedule, I find that I do not have enough hours in the day to keep up with the social demands on my life. There are people I want to keep up with that I haven't been able to do so.  They are available to meet, but not at times I am available - and vice versa.  

Dating is another wrinkle.  I'm getting tired of "swiping right" and then having conversations peter out before we get to a phone call stage or meeting for coffee.  No, I am not stretching things out too far.  I might be seen as a viable but 2nd/3rd choice candidate.  I have to find the time and energy to keep up my efforts in this area, but it's not that easy.

- - - - - -

All work and no play may be making Marian a very boring girl.  Before I took my current job, I could easily find the time to read books.  Today, I am way too tired to do this.  I can't remember the last time I borrowed a book from the library and finished it before it was past due.  I'm at the stage where I'm considering buying a few books, simply to have them available to read without having to wait for their availability via the library system.

- - - - - -

Luckily, my health hasn't failed me yet.  But I have to be careful, given my age and current risk factors....

 

 

A long drive with Vicki

Olana - A place I wanted to visit again with my niece in tow (before Covid-19) and a place I wanted to visit with Vicki after an "Upstate" meetup.  Unfortunately, my intentions keep getting thwarted for different reasons.

- - - - - -

When the day opened, Vicki and I were scheduled to attend a meetup in Woodstock, NY.  Afterwards, we planned to stroll around the town.  It took us a while to find the group, as it was enjoying things at the restaurant's garden area, and we first thought to only look inside the building.  Eventually, we found the group, and ordered our lunch. Conversation was good, especially with a new member of the group. Vicki was so relaxed, that she made verbal slips regarding my gender.  So I made things easier for her and this new person by identifying myself as Trans.  No negative comment from our new friend. We then exchanged phone numbers with this new member, and then broke away from the group as it started to drizzle.

I suggested that we drive up to Olana and take a tour of the mansion.  Unfortunately, the weather only got worse, and it didn't make sense to tour the building.  So, we headed south, and had another bite to eat in Rhinebeck.  It was a nice drive with a good friend who knows me in both of my modes.

- - - - - -

Later on, I chatted with the woman I saw a couple of weeks ago, and had a long chat.  Hopefully, we'll be able to get together again soon.  And then, I chatted with MWL for a while.  

Sooner or later, I may need a day off to take care of things I need to do on my days off.... 

 

 

 

 

 

It was nice to see a friend today.

 

Today, I met a friend for lunch.  Although we met via OK Cupid, we knew from the beginning that we'd be friends, and not much more.  And this is a good thing.  She would be a little bit out of my league if we had tried to start a relationship.  As friends, we can overlook things that we could not overlook in a romantic partner.

My friend and I have been trying to get together for a while.  Her health and her business has gotten in the way, and I hadn't had the opportunity to get together with her since the beginning of summer.  So we decided to meet somewhere in the middle (we live 90 minutes from each other), in Beacon.  

- - - - - -

No, we didn't go to the restaurant above  If we did, we probably would have gotten very sick. In fact, we may have needed the following maneuver performed on us if we choked on our food:

Instead, we went to a place called Meyer's Olde Dutch for an early lunch.  It WAS FILLING!  My friend, who barely weighs 100 lbs. soaking wet, was filled on her salad.  While I was filled on an oversized, overloaded bacon cheeseburger.  Yum!  I'd go back there again. Over lunch, we talked of many things, such as one Catskills area property not selling.  My friend had sold her place for just under $1 million, and within 18 months, it has recently been flipped for $1.700,000.  Right now, a place either has to have character, enough vacant land to build a place with character, or be cheap enough for someone to tear it down to build a place with character.  The unsold place fits neither of these conditions,  So it remains unsold - for now. For the most part, we talked about her business and her upcoming vacation with her boyfriend.

Next on our list of things to do was picking up some gluten free goodies for her boyfriend and his daughter.  For this, we made the mistake of walking a little over a mile to a store on the other side of Beacon.  And neither of us thought the heat would be getting to us.  To make things worse, I was wearing the wrong shoes for this walk, and my right foot loudly announced that this was a big mistake.  We sat down for a few minutes, then returned to our cars.  Hopefully, she will be able to make her overseas trip soon, as I just learned that her destination country has enacted new quarantine requirements for United States residents.

Once done with my friend, I drove to Poughkeepsie to pick up some stuff at Target.  I've been intrigued by the above dress for a while, and to drop $20 to see how it looks on me.  It looks comfortable, and it is something I can wear on hot summer days.  After I was done with Target, I stopped into Walmart to pick up some food on the way home.  It was strange to see an empty space where the in-store McDonald's used to be. But I guess Mickey D wasn't making enough money in their Walmart outlets, and prefers to make its money off of franchisees by renting out the land their franchised restaurants sit on.

Eventually, I made it home and decided to take a nap.  Even after 2 hours of rest, I didn't feel rested.  I could have easily gone back to sleep.  But I decided to stay awake and call up MWL to chat for a little while.  While on the call, one of my OK Cupid ladies decided to call me (very late), and I wasn't going to break off my call with MWL to speak with someone for the first time.  I was glad when MWL decided to end the call, as both of us were tired after our long days.  Hopefully, I'll have more energy for tomorrow's Brunch Meetup in Peekskill.

Three meetups in less than a week.

 

This isn't going to be a long post.  But it notes several things which have happened in the past few days.  Take them for what they are, and read into them what you will:

1. Sunday, I saw someone at a meetup who tried her best to keep me away from several meetup groups she claimed as her own.  It was a pleasant interaction, and went better than I expected.
2. Wednesday, I decided to drop into a meetup where my "Hiking Partner" from Thursday night games was there for Trivia night.  I only wish I could have gotten there earlier.
3. Thursday, I went to a new meetup held on City Island.  It's been over 25 years since I've been to this restaurant, and the food was good enough to want to return much sooner than that.

In all cases, I went to these meetups in Marian Mode, and it was easier for me (and the group) for me to appear as a female.  At the Sunday meetup, I was surprised that one person complimented me on my dress AND noted that I looked happier than I've looked in a while.  (Compliments will go far with me. 😃)

- - - - - -

Over time, I've developed a more natural manner being out and about as Marian.  I'm hoping that newly out transgender folk can see my posts and learn from my hard experience....

A second night out with a new meetup group

 

 

 

As you can see, I'm having a great time with the girls.  This is the second time I've been with this meetup group, and I've been made to feel welcome again.  Yes, it's a group that Mario could have attended, but I fit in much more as Marian, with the exception of my size.  (It's another reason for me to figure out how to lose some weight.)

 

Some people wonder why I'd have rather been born with a female body.  It's not extreme dysphoria as some transgender people suffer.  Instead, it's the social role of women - they are the glue that hold societies together.  Their conversations are more interesting, and they often involve the nitty gritty of life that men usually ignore.  (Don't get me wrong, I'd have rather had all the inconveniences and headaches of being a typical woman in order to have lived life as one.) 

I figure that one day, I'll have to make some hard choices.  Until then, I'll have an interesting life observing how different and/or similar life is on both sides of the gender coin.