When I look at this face, all I can say is that I didn't look "ready for prime time". I had someone cruising with me who was blind to the risks I'd face if I went on-shore at the wrong ports. If I had had her with me when I cruised to some Eastern Caribbean ports a year or two later, I'd have been in big trouble. The rules for LGBT travelers advise us to avoid these islands like the plague, because we (by our nature) are breaking their laws and their taboos.
So when I registered for a recent meetup, I wondered if a recent pattern would hold - would my ex-girlfriend continue to avoid me if I were to attend the same meetup? If we attended the meetup, what would happen? I had a lot to worry about, but all for naught. It was a pleasant interaction - even though I was in Marian mode. (It makes me wonder why she made all the big fuss about "owning" the meetup groups in the first place. But that's another story.)
Why do I mention all of this? Well, none of us are ever fully ready to take on needed challenges in life. If we are able to be fully prepared, then some things will no longer be a challenge to us. I didn't think I'd be ready to see my ex, and it went off smoothly. (Given the arguments we had after the breakup, a lot of things could have happened.) But most of all, my feminine presentation is still far from perfect. If I had waited until I was fully ready to go out as Marian, I'd still be in the closet.
Life is all about taking chances. To live well, one must break out of one's cocoon and become a butterfly. It's time to do so....
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