Going to RQS's place for the weekend (a short post)

 

When I started to see RQS, I made sure to present as Mario whenever I went to her place.  Her neighbors might see a balding, overly large, old fellow visiting RQS on a regular basis.  Over time, things have evolved that I rarely present as Mario, except when Mario needs to be seen for appearances' sake.  And I am happy with where things are, as I could never have believed things would be this good for me.

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Today, I had only one thing on the agenda - driving down to RQS's place.  Not being sure of the weather for the weekend, I packed clothes that would keep me comfortable in 50 degree weather, as well as in 80 degree weather.  Whether or not this would be needed would depend on whether the weather forecast was for warm weather or for cooler weather.  But enough about the weather for now....

I started off to RQS's place around 1:30, and realized that I might need to take a bio-break before reaching my destination.  (Several times, I have needed a break as I reached RQS's neighborhood, and was lucky that I could find a clean loo before looking for a "rare" parking spot near her house.)  This was a smart thing to do, as I hit a bit of traffic once I reached Queens.  

Arriving at 4 (as I planned), RQS was waiting for me, and we had an early night - dinner was ready by 5:30 (a rarity for us), and we were in bed relatively early for the night.   This was going to be a weekend send as Marian, and I was prepared for Saturday and Sunday to come.

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It's amazing how normal life can become over time.  But then, I'm glad that I don't live in the American South.  In New York, my Texas friends as Marian, but can't do so because of the laws enacted there in the past few years.  I am mostly "Out" where I live, but would need to be "Closeted" if I lived in Texas.  (I wonder what Kim of Traveling Transgender, a mostly defunct blog, is doing now.  Years ago, she traveled "Pretty" between major American cities.  Now, I hope she's able to get out and about as Kim now and then.)

Caesar Salad Dressing and Transgenders

 

Sometimes, a T-Gal has got to eat.  And for me, tonight was the time to make fresh Caesar Salad dressing and toss it with some fresh Romaine Lettuce.

To Start:

1. In a medium bowl, whisk anchovies, egg yolks, garlic, mustard, and lemon juice. While whisking, slowly stream in oil until dressing is thick and creamy. (This can also be done with an immersion blender or in a small food processor.)
    
2. Stir in Parmesan and black pepper; season with salt.

You may ask with something this simple, what did I do wrong?  Since my mother never taught me to cook (Remember, I was a boy to her, and thankfully never learned her bad cooking style), I've had to gradually learn how to do simple things on my own.  This is not a bad thing, as I get pleasantly excited when something I do comes out right.  In this case, I didn't slowly stream in the oil.  That's something I'll do next time I prepare this dish.

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Why do I mention food preparation in a blog that discusses a transgender life?  Well, most TG women have to learn ALL the skills normally acquired by cisgender females in a fraction of the time.  Even when others are tolerant of our mistakes, we can make big ones and be totally embarrassed by them if we give things much thought.  We learn by doing, and we must be more observant than the average person, so that we can blend in well.

There is a big confidence factor in blending in.  One must feel that s/he is the gender in which s/he is presenting.  Each time I am pegged as a male, I ask myself - where did I slip up?  Did I slip up at all, and that being perceived as TG was the only thing possible for the other person?  So many questions, and so much to learn.

Like cooking, transgender presentation as a female (or as a male for F2M TGs) takes work.  F2M transgenders have an easier time in appearing male than M2F transgenders have in appearing female.  Cisgender males are taller than cisgender females, have more body mass, and other features that are easy to notice if you are looking for them.  Yet, for most of us, it is possible with a bit of work.  So, keep it up - you'll get where you want to be if you don't give up. 

 

 

PS: I forgot the Anchovies the next time I made the dressing.... 

 

The end of a long weekend (a short post)

 

Over the weekend, my brother got word that he is finally on a nation's foreign birth registry.  He is now a citizen of a European Country.  My paperwork is several months behind his, and I will check in with the foreign birth registrar when my application hits the one year mark from submission.  I would have liked to have also been eligible for the St. Kitts passport above.  But this is not the case anymore.

- - - - - -

This weekend, the rain has kept us inside most of the time.  Although we got outside for some food shopping on Sunday, I didn't bother going to church - it was way too wet outside.  By the time we left the house, only the supermarkets were open for business.  At least, I was able to get into a pretty dress for this short trip.

Memorial day was something else.  The sun was out, and we relaxed until mid afternoon.  Again, the weather was warm, and I wore one of my summer dresses. Did I need to go through the headaches of preparing myself for a female presentation today?  No.  But I enjoyed doing so.  Soon, I'll be stuck in presenting as Mario for a doctor's appointment.  But once I'm done, I intend to get my nails done for the first time in a long while.

- - - - - -

I'm surprised at how sensitive a person can be.  When I compared Christian sects proselyting to recruit new followers with someone's complaint about Islam and hijabs, I didn't expect a tempest in a teapot.  This person believes that Islam is out to exterminate Christianity.  If the only nations who practiced Islam were Saudi Arabia and Iran, then she may have a case, given that the closer to Mecca one is, the more extreme a form of Islam is encountered.  Travel far away from the middle east, and people are much more relaxed about the faiths of their neighbors.  This doesn't mean that jihad doesn't exist.  But there are several types mentioned in Islamic scripture and not all are violent.

Given that this woman has soured on Trump, there may be hope for her yet.  But I doubt it.  She gets her news from right wing outlets, and she calls Democratic politicians by insulting names - something I don't do, even in regard to politicians I hate, such as Ted Cruz and Lindsay Graham.  There is a lack of respect for others in her attitude, and it is related to the tribe in which she identifies.

In 2029, I expect to see America rebuke the GOP much more than it will this November.  Investigations and trials will be on the agenda, and I expect that we'll see constitutional amendments come out of the process.  MAGA will become a chronic political disease instead of a near fatal one.  Or, at least I hope this becomes true. 

As I write this.... (a short post)

 

As I write this, I've been thinking of people I have known, wondering what they would think if they were around to see me now.  Most of my friends, family and acquaintances likely had no idea I am a TG. But I can say that for most of my life I wouldn't have thought so either.

My wife may have thought that this was a harmless little kink, as long as I didn't go outside while in women's clothing.  I wonder what she'd think now, as I maximize the time I present as a female and minimize the amount of time I present as a male.  The one time she objected to me wearing women's clothing was on our wedding night.  I think she wanted to be sure of her role in our relationship.

Before my wife and I got married, I kept a promise to my late friend Carol.  I feel that Carol may have been a lonely person, as I don't remember her talking about her friends.  She was the stepmother of a woman I once dated, and I am grateful that this woman and I never hit it off.  Carol opened a letter I addressed to the stepdaughter, and we ended up in contact with each other, building up a friendship that lasted until Carol died.  So, when I kept my promise, I brought my (then) future wife with me to Carol's grave for an introduction.

Bill was my best friend through college, and was the best man at my wedding.  I never felt comfortable talking with him about this side of me, and now there is no chance to do so.  Recently, his email address was disconnected (his private domain expired with no renewal), and he hasn't responded to any texts sent to him.  Given that he survived a brain aneurysm  a few years ago, I wouldn't doubt that another similar issue caused him to be totally disabled or have killed him.

Prior to meeting XGFJ, I had dated two women named Linda. One accepted the fact that I enjoyed wearing women's clothes, but there was no chemistry between us.  (It didn't help that I didn't have a CPAP unit yet, and was very noisy when sleeping.)  Would she have accepted seeing me dressed?  I'm not sure.  But I know that the other Linda would not have been able to accept this.  She was looking for someone more successful and more traditional in nature.

Strangely enough, I think that my mom would have been accepting of me as Marian.  But that's because I think she always wanted a daughter.  My father on the other hand would have had trouble doing so.  During the last few years of his life he was resistant to change, and even had a Trump sticker on his car's bumper.

Enough of thoughts of people from my past.  I'm living in the now, and visit my past sparingly while looking forward to the future.

A visit to the Danbury Railway Museum

 

The weather forecast for the day was for a bit of humidity and for 90° (or more) thermometer readings.  Ouch!  And yet, RQS and I figured that we'd venture out to the museum and see what they had to offer.

But first....

We woke up to an alarm  that didn't want to stop.  Both of us were shouting at our "Smart" (?) device to stop, and it took 5 minutes to do so. After this, neither of us were in the mood to go to church as we had originally planned. So we chilled until 11 am, and then prepared to go out.

Both of us decided to get dressed in blue dresses today, and drive over to the museum.  We left my apartment around 12:30, and reached the museum shortly before 2:00.  Neither of us were really prepared  for the heat outside.  We had to air out the car a little before getting inside the car.  Thankfully, the AC worked at full speed, and we had a comfortable ride.

There were many artifacts in the museum building, including a couple of miniature railroad exhibits.  Yet, if it were only the model railroad stuff, it would not have been worth the visit.  Instead, there were other artifacts from the golden age of railroading that were worth looking at.    

But the real value of this museum came from the short ride through the rail yard, followed by a tour of the museum's rolling stock.

Our tour guide told us about the history of each of their pieces of rolling stock, as well as the history of the yard in which the museum's rolling stock is stored.  We also got a chance to take a ride on the yard's turntable.  (You'll note that there is a woman in a blue dress in 2 of these pictures.  That's as much of RQS as I want to show my readers for privacy's sake.)  The last stop of the day was the rail car in the last photo.  This was a treat, as it was an early example of a rail car used on the 20th Century Limited, the New York Central railroad's flagship train which ran from NYC to Chicago and back.

A little bit before 4:00, we left for home.  On our way back, we stopped at a local Chinese restaurant for dinner.  Neither of us realized how drained we were from the heat outside, so when we got home, we passed out for a couple of hours before regaining consciousness.

Almost Matching Dresses

 

Both RQS and I set alarms for us to get out of bed, get dressed, and go to the Danbury Railway Museum. However, one thing got in the way - the 10:30 alarm I thought I had set didn't go off, and RQS didn't get out of bed until 11:30.  By the time got moving, it was too late to go to Danbury, as the museum closes at 4:00.  So we watched some videos, and relaxed most of the day.

Once we decided to get moving, RQS decided to wear a red floral dress.  I figured that I'd join in on the same theme and wear the red floral dress I bought from Amazon last week.  Given the 80 degree weather outside, this would be a perfect choice for me - and it was.  To be safe, I brought my denim jacket (which I didn't need), but who knew how quickly it might get cool after dark.

Our first stop was at Pepe's Pizza in Yonkers.  Both of us were hungry, and we hadn't had their pizza in a while.  It was nice to be addressed as a female by the staff, and no one took notice of my less than feminine features.  (Having worked on my voice and my presentation over the past decade and a half helps me blend in as female when I need to do so - especially when I have to go to the loo.)  After we finished our meal, it was off to Lidl for some shopping.  And today, I got off almost as well as I would have done at Trader Joe's.  But then, I wasn't planning on buying much.

Going home as the sun was getting ready to set, I took an alternate route back to my house in order to avoid the harsh setting sun burning my eyes.  Taking the "scenic route" back home, I was able to take a path where my eyes were protected from direct sunlight. 

- - - - - -

Tomorrow, we're planning on going to church and then to the railway museum.  I hope we get to both.

A trip in Manhattan for a bite to eat and a movie to watch

 

As one would expect, like many couples, RQS and I get bored staying in the house all weekend.  So she suggested that we see a movie, and I said OK.  But I caved when she wanted to see The Devil Wears Prada 2, as this was a more popular movie.  So, I put on my new dress (see below)  and we took the subway into Manhattan to see the film.

We got into Manhattan at 3:15, and walked over to the theater to pick up tickets for a 4:30 showing.  One problem: The only seats that were available were right in front of the screen, not a good spot to watch a film.  So we decided to bail on the movie, and then go to the restaurant for some food.

I was prepared for something more classy.  But RQS knew of this place called Tattoonette, a Middle Eastern fast food place.  Even so, I ended up spending a smidgen over $50 for dinner there.  The Chicken Schnitzel was good, but the Fwlafel was small for what one might expect.  Was it good value?  Yes.  But it is certainly a place where a couple would not go on a first or second date.

Given that everything was 13th street related, we ambled over to the Quad Cinema to watch Fantasy Life. I won't go much into the film's plot, save that it is a love story which could not and should not be consummated.  (Look up the film on IMDB if you want to know more.)  Both of us enjoyed the film, and then it was time to go home.

By the time I got home, I couldn't wait to take off my bra (and the rest of my clothes) and get into a nightie for bed.  Just before I stripped everything off, I looked into the mirror and thought - boy am I getting old!  I'd better try to lose my weight now, or I won't be ab;e to get the FFS I desire.  (I'd love to look like that woman in the picture, even if I have to keep my current plumbing to have a stable relationship with RQS.). 

Lunch with Short Vicki, and dinner with RQS

 

No, I didn't order a "Hot Dog" for lunch.  But the menu I had for lunch wasn't what we planned....

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Vicki and I decided to get together today, as this was the only day she could be sure that her schedule and mine would mesh together.  Since I had planned to drive to RQS's place for the weekend, I packed up my stuff the night before and carted it to my car before meeting Vicki in Ardsley.

Ardsley, NY would have been a quaint, maybe picturesque village had the NYS Thruway had not cut through the center of town.  What was once its main street is now divided by the Saw Mill River parkway (which may have had a traffic light controlled intersection with Ardsley road many decades ago), and by the NYS Thruway (built in the 1950's). Ardsley road is routed over both of the two limited access roads now, but addresses on the old Ardsley road still carry the Ardsley road address.  This can be confusing to people not local to the area.

I had just enough time to get to Ardsley, even with the "confusing" route I had to take.   When one exits the Saw Mill River Parkway, one has to take a stub of old Ardsley road away from town to connect with the part of "New" Ardsley road to get into town.  Once one crosses over the highways, one has to make a sharp "U-Turn" to enter the other stub section of "Old" Ardsley road.  At least, parking is free for 3 hours.

When I arrived at the original restaurant, I realized that it would be impossible to eat inside.  So, when Vicki arrived, I suggested that we go across the street to Liebman's, an "Old School" Kosher Deli.  Vicki noted that it would be expensive.  But I was willing to pay for a good lunch - and knew the quality of the food at this place.  We sat down to eat.  I ordered the Matzoh Ball Soup with a half Pastrami sandwich, while Vicki ordered the Kreplach Soup with a half Corned Beef sandwich.  Both were yummy!  There is only one place that better pastrami, and Katz's in Manhattan is a matter of taste.

All too soon, lunch ended, and I was off to RQS's place.  It was hard to believe that I parked right in front of RQS's place by 2 pm.  And this was perfect timing.  Shortly after arriving at RQS's place, we went to the nearby Bodega to pick up food for the evening.  Once back at home, I showed RQS the dress I hoped to wear on Mother's Day (I can never be a mother, for obvious reasons - I only note which Sunday is being referenced.)  She liked how the dress and the shrug worked together, and I'm glad that I went out of my way to pick it up.

It was a long day, and I was glad to take off my dress, leggings, bra, etc.  This will be a weekend that I'm in full Marian presentation, and it's nice to be with someone with whom I can do this. 

The meetup that wasn't. (At least, for me.)

 

Tonight was supposed to be a meetup to celebrate Cinco de Mayo.  That didn't happen (at least for me).  

But first....

The day started out by me relaxing and doing nothing.  Waking up at 7 am, I was tired again by 11 am.  And yet, I kept a little busy by cooking up some Chicken Cordon Bleu for lunch.  (Lidl sells a good size pair of portions for a reasonable price - much better than the frozen versions I used to buy.)  And then, I prepared to go out.

Once I got dressed, I decided to first to to Kohl's to inspect the dress I was interested in buying.  Sadly, though they have it in stock, I couldn't find it.  So, I'll likely buy it based on how the other dress looks and fits me.  From there, it was off to White Plains for the meetup.  I found a parking spot around the corner from the restaurant, and started looking for someone I knew.  No one was there yet.  As I was pulling out of my parking spot, DS (from game night) had arrived finding no one.  So I sent messages to the organizer and to DS saying that I left - the restaurant was way too noisy, and the hostess couldn't find our reservation.  A few minutes later, two  more people showed up, and the organizer made the decision to go to a new restaurant where people could enjoy dinner.  By this time, I was well on my way to a local diner to eat.

I walked into the diner, sat down, and placed my order.  A few minutes after my order was taken, I walked over to the ladies' loo (I was presenting as female at the time), but it was occupied.  The lady inside never came out.  A few minutes another lady and her daughter went to the loo - and I'll bet that they ended up using the gents' as no one had yet come out of the ladies' loo.  When I finished dinner and paid my bill, again I went to the loo - and it was still busy.  (How long does it take for anyone to evacuate themselves?)  So, it was into the Gents' I went, flowery dress and all.  I was glad that there was no one waiting at the door when I came out.  But then, what does a gal do when someone else has monopolized the one stall dedicated for a gal to use? 

RQS had to go home, and I had to go food shopping.

 

RQS had to go home today.  It's always a sad thing.  Yet, it's something that gives us time to do the things that nourish us alone during the week.

- - - - - -

I awoke early, and let RQS sleep past her morning alarms. Around 9:30, I woke her up, and both of us got dressed for the day.  Since it was "warm" outside, RQS had to carry her heavy coat home.  While I was dressed in a tunic dress and leggings.  We arrived at the train station around 11:30, and we parted for the week.  She took the train into the city, while I went home and changed into something more comfortable - a floral dress I bought from Amazon.

I like this dress, and I was glad I had decided to buy it.  It was cheap at the price, so I decided to buy a second one today, this time in a red pattern.  There were two more dresses I am interested in, one from Universal Standard, and the other from Kohl's.  Both are good values, but I don't have the money or room in my closet right now to justify buying them.  You might be asking - Why???  Well, I just dropped $5k into repairs on the family homestead, and have another $1.6k in insurance expenses to be paid before June. At least I can afford this short term hit to my bank account.

- - - - - -

After a little bit of rest, I put on the dress and went to Costco - and bought nothing.  But I ended up going to Lidl to do some food shopping.  And there, I ended up spending $40 on food.  It would have been $50, but the scanner didn't want to handle my meat purchases.  So I left one package on the scanner (naughty me) and brought the rest of my items to a human to be checked out properly.

Will I eat anything I bought tonight, or will I cook it tomorrow?  Right now, I do not feel hungry, and I ate too much starch during the day.  So, I figure that I'll use the toaster oven tomorrow, and toss out expired stuff from the icebox tonight.  And, if the weather is as warm as I expect tomorrow, I will wear the one dress I bought from Kohl's the other day.

It's May, and it feels like March

 

This weekend would be the first time RQS would be up at my apartment for the first time since before our Bermuda Triangle cruise.  Even though it was the beginning of May, RQS had to prepare for weather that could get close to freezing at night.  As for me, I couldn't break out the new summery dresses I wanted to wear. Cool weather would define the start of the weekend.

On Friday, RQS arrived wearing her heavy winter coat.  Yes, it was a little bit too much for the daytime.  But it served her well in the evening.  When she arrived, we drove to White Plains to pick up fresh sea scallops for dinner.  And then it was back to the apartment for the evening.  Dinnertime came quickly, and we had a good dinner.  (We also learned something about cooking scallops, but that's another story for another day.)  It was easy to fall asleep afterwards, so I don't have much to say about the day,

- - - - - -

Saturday came, and we had a few things on the docket.  So, I got dressed in something comfortable, but warm enough for the cool weather - a tunic length dress over leggings.  And then we went to Walmart to pick up a few items: (1) a narrow rolling cart for the bathroom, (2) a shower mat for the bathtub, and (3) a set of pillowcases to match the sheets I have on the bed.  (Right now, I'm using pillowcases that are too large, and wanted to get something that fits my pillows correctly.)  Once we were done at Walmart, we had time to kill before dinner.

We had scheduled a 7 pm dinner with Vicki.  It's been a while since the 3 of us were together.  Yes, RQS and I are together every weekend, and I see Vicki (on the average) or every month.  Today, we'd be sitting at the same table for a change.  RQS and I arrived first, and Vicki a few minutes later.  Vicki almost made the mistake of going to a restaurant with a similar name in the same village.  But I made sure she knew which one of the two restaurants where I planned for us to meet.

For the next 2 hours, we chatted non-stop.  It was a long overdue get together.  Vicki understands what RQS and I see in each other, and RQS understands what I share with Vicki.  These are all special relationships, and something I cherish.  Vicki thought that my past 2 cruises had me traveling as Marian until I told her about my caution in regards to interacting with Federal authorities given the Orange Monster's attitudes involving TGs.  RQS and Vicki talked about how they deal with their ailments.  We all had things we would talk about for hours.

All too soon, dinner had to end, and we had to part.  So, we drove home, and I got around to taking care of putting together the rolling cart from Walmart.  It is not as good as the cart I bought from IKEA several weeks before.  But it will do for now.  Now, things that were casually dumped into baskets are organized in areas of the cart.  Although cluttered, things look a bit less messy than before - a small victory for me.

Bermuda Triangle Cruise 2026 - Bermuda Day #2 (04/19/26)

Yesterday, I supplied the cipher.  Today, I supply the quote.  Can you tell me what this wall says?

- - - - - - 

Again, we didn't start moving until 11 am, and this didn't leave us much time to do anything in Bermuda before the ship was scheduled to leave at 3 pm (ship time).  If the crew hadn't planned to clean the balconies this morning, we would have left the drapes open and let the sun wake us up.  Instead, we had a good healthy sleep - something I usually need very much.  When we finally got up, we decided NOT to walk to a local store where I could buy some jewelry for my Marian presentation.  Given how slow things were going when we went upstairs, we decided to stay on the ship until we reach Nassau.   

For a bit of the day, RQS rested on the balcony hammock, and then we went for dinner at The Wake (the steakhouse on this ship.)  The food was excellent, but I was too full from earlier eating to appreciate everything put in front of me.

I'm glad that I didn't order this seafood dish - it was $85 extra, but well worth it.  The gentleman who ordered it had cruise credits to burn, and he shared the food with a nearby table.  RQS wouldn't have accepted his offer, but I might have done so at another time - I was way too full from lunch to finish what I had already ordered.  But this gave me the opportunity to share my cruise blog's business cards with several people.  Hopefully, they will enjoy what they see.

After dinner, we walked down to "Sailor Services" (the purser's office) to get a shore excursion ticket printed for Charleston.  And then, it was back to the cabin for the evening. 

 

 

The last co-op board meeting of the month

 

There's an old saying about business meetings: They are places where minutes are taken and hours are lost.  Well, tonight I lost over 4 hours to a board meeting I didn't want to attend.  And the clocks in the picture above are as tired as I am.

- - - - - -

When I finally got moving today, I was as tired as the above clocks.  I guess it was what I ate - lots of starch the night before, and more starch the next day.  (I usually make some pasta with canned chicken and mix in some mayo to make everything edible for an American palate.)  So, I wasn't ready until 1 pm to go out of the house for my last time as Marian for the next two weeks.  As I was going out the door, the president of the co-op called and we talked about some of the night's applications to purchase that we had on our docket.  (I caught an error that our managing agent should have caught.)  After the call, I finally had a chance to go out the door for a few hours.

I decided to go to Costco to walk around and buy a few things, none of which needed refrigeration.  On the way home, I stopped at the Golden Arches for a fish sandwich, then proceeded to the supermarket to pick up dinner for tonight, and lunch for tomorrow.

Once I was finally home, I reluctantly changed back into Mario for the board meeting, and then spent over 4 hours getting to know applicants to purchase apartments, review current financial status, and to make plans for future meetings.  (Even now, I can only say a few limited things about what goes on in private.)  Finally, at 9:45 pm, the meeting was over, and I could finally relax. 

Game Night - My only one this month

 

One thing I know about game nights - I usually lose the games we play.  I don't mind that, as this is always a good group of people to hang out with.

- - - - - -

This morning started out with a visit to my doctor.  As usual, he hectored me about my weight and tried to prod me to taking a GLP-1 drug - no matter what its cost.  That goes against my core philosophy - avoid expensive subscription items, when they are most in demand.  Would I mind taking a GLP-1 drug?  No.  But when the does will end up costing over 10% of my after tax income, the answer will be NO.  Yet, I will call my drug insurance company and find out whether (given my health) I can get it at a lower co-pay.

Next, it was back to my house to relax for a couple of hours, and then go for coffee with one of the board members.  We talked about the Orange Monster, Co-Op business, and her financial health (what little of it that's left.)  Sadly, I see her forced into less hospitable senior housing.  But that's what happens when a person never had the chance to save much during her adult life.

Finally, after another 2 hours of rest, it was time for game night.  I arrived just before 7:30, and got a call from the host - did I want him to save a place for me in the game they were setting up?  I said yes, and walked in to the house a minute or two later.  It was a pleasant evening, and though I lost (as usual), I had a good time. 

- - - - - -

Sadly, this would be my last day in Marian mode for a while.  This weekend, I'll have to present as Mario, as I'll be meeting 2 of RQS's friends. 

The important things on the docket required me to be Mario for the day.

 

The other day, I had to restore my male image to my Facebook profile so that I could join a message group.  Amazingly, several of the people I know from the Widows/Widowers group noticed, and said hello.  As for me, I wonder what they will say when my profile reverts to a female Alfred E. Newman in the next day or two.

- - - - - -

Everything I had on my docket today effectively required my presenting as a male in public.  First, I had to get a book from the library, and then attend a co-op board meeting as Mario.  So, first, I went out to a local diner to have some Greek Salad, and  couldn't finish the dish.  Unfortunately, I couldn't go back to town the same way I went to the diner, so, I took the long way to the library.  

Picking up the book at the library got in the way for doing laundry.  I'd have been picking my clothes out of the dryer in the middle of  the co-op board meeting.  So I deferred that task until later. Around 5:30, the co-op meeting started, and the interviewees who was supposed to attend didn't bother to show up.  The next time we'll be able to meet with them will be in May.  Their loss.  And then we had to deal with a shareholder and her issues.  She has problems that can't be corrected quickly, but won't take a delay for an acceptable answer.  We're trying to delay spending money until we have a major funding issue resolved.  Until then, we have to slow walk everything.

- - - - - -

Eventually, the meeting ended, and I had enough time to do a load of laundry.  Even when it is done, the work will not be finished - I still have to fold it, and put it into places where it belongs.

I prefer to see reality than live in a fantasy world

 

The other day, RQS sent me some links to various "meetup" sites whose purposes are simply to enable people to make new social connections.  A couple of these sites were geared for females to make social connections.  So, I asked RQS how passable I am, and she noted that there are some telltales that I am TG.  In short, I am not 100% passing, but that's OK for most purposes - just not for all.

It's hard for people to see reality these days, much be comfortable with reality.  We live in an age where the people we once could count on to tell us things resembling truthful opinions now tell us lies we want to hear.  We have a president who is a pathological liar, and who is totally disconnected from reality.  We are in a war that no one wanted, save for two people: Bibi Netanyahu and Donald Trump.  And now, Trump is telling lies which conflict with themselves:  "We have won the war with Iran." and "We need more money to win the war with Iran."  Where is our objective reality here?   Trump is the leader of an American cult which, unfortunately, has taken control of our government.  At a macro level, much of America is stuck living in a fantasy world.  But what about us as individuals?

As an individual living in a society which has become untethered from reality, I find it harder to maintain a solid connection to reality. First, I need to find objective information about myself and the world I live in.  As a TG, I need to know many things: How well do I present? What can I do to improve my presentation? Where can I travel safely in my preferred presentation? How do I keep informed of significant events that could affect me?    Second, I need to make reasonable decisions based on the information I gather.  In the case of travel, I have to be absolutely sure of how well I pass, as I could be committing a felony in some states.  (I was in one Southern state where I had to go to the loo and relieve myself while presenting as Marian.  Technically, I committed a felony just by needing to take a bio-break.  Luckily, no one cared where I was.)  Even worse, I can't visit many countries as Marian, as my assumed gender preference would be considered illegal and punishable under their laws.  (We're seeing that in some American states today.)  I have to be sensitive to the fact that we now have a federal government hostile to TGs and the rest of the LGBT community.  So, I am glad that I sent information to a nation where a grandparent came from, so that I have an exit route available in advance.

One TG individual I know has been corrupted by the media she consumes.  Although she has lost the desire to get her passport renewed in her identified gender due to Trump's executive order, she still refers to his political enemies by the childish names he uses for those people.  Yet, she can't identify why these people are bad.  She sees the word "Socialist" and identifies all evil to this word and those who identify with it.  Yet, she can't identify what is bad about the word itself.  Even though she's unhappy with the cult leader, she still identifies with the values of the cult - even when the cult would treat her like crap.  This transgender woman is not alone in her fantasy views of identity.  Another transgender woman I met belonged to a conservative religious denomination.  When she moved to upstate NY, she went to attend another church of that sect.  The pastor said that she shouldn't attend again because she was TG.  Her identity conflicted with what others saw that her identity should be,  We all can make similar mistakes.  This is why we need to always seek objective reality, instead of seeking to feel comfortable living within our fantasies.

I could have gone out, but....

 

I stayed home much of the day, when it was a perfect day to go outside.  Today's focus was on the spreadsheet (see yesterday's post), but I didn't have any real plans for the day.  

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When I got up, I realized that I could either get showered, made up, and dressed.  But if I did so, I'd be spending money I don't need to spend to entertain myself.  And that's something I don't really need to do.  So, I decided to finish work on the spreadsheet, and add two more cruise lines to the options available for use.  It was easy to get lost in the tedium, and time passed as if hours were just minutes.

Around 5 pm, I decided to get showered and dressed.  It was nice to be able to apply makeup again, as I won't be able to spend much time as Marian next week, as I'll be stuck as Mario for both a Doctor's visit and for a pair of Co-Op board meetings.  (Once they are over, I can switch back to Marian mode for a while.). At 6 pm, I drove to the local Chinese take-out to pick up dinner, and I got a call from Vicki - we both forgot about dinner at the local Japanese restaurant.  So, we postponed again, and will likely go to a Brazilian BBQ sometime in the next couple of weeks.  

After I returned home, I got things set up for the Zoom meeting with our Texas friends.  It was a good meeting, as both of our friends were more animated than usual.  When I mentioned that I may have to set up my own Zoom account subscription, one of the gals volunteered to help pay for it.  Now we know how much this one person wants to keep up our monthly Zooms.

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Tomorrow, it will likely rain all day, making it a perfect laundry day.  I'll bet that I find excuses not to do it until late in the day. 

I hated getting dressed today

 

If I could have dressed like this to bring my car to the dealership for a NYS safety inspection, I would have done so.  However, I had to present as Mario today, and there's no fun in dressing as a male of my age.  But the car needed to go in, and I had to take it there....

- - - - - -

I woke up today knowing that there was one absolute task on my docket - My car's annual safety inspection.  With only 26k miles on the meter, I knew that I the car should have a clean bill of health.  The tires are roughly halfway through their expected lifespan, and the next major (expensive) maintenance wouldn't come for another 4,000-5,000 miles.  (I'm wondering when I will need new tires and brakes - but I won't bother doing that tonight.)

Since there was a Wendy's across the street from the dealership, I decided to have their Lenten-only offering - a fish sandwich.  It wasn't bad, and it wasn't that good.  But it sated my hunger.  Once done with lunch, I crossed the street and dropped my car off for service.  While waiting, I saw my downstairs neighbor in the waiting room and said hello as we were paying our respective bills.

Once done, I planned to return home, change into Marian mode, and go out.  But I was a little tired, and figured that I'd rather rest, then do laundry sometime in the evening. When I got home, I started to work on the spreadsheet again, and was interrupted by TCL when I was starting to get into mental "Flow" mode. I was able to get a load of laundry in (washed and dried) before 10 pm, and brought it back upstairs before calling RQS at the end of the day.

- - - - - -

Tomorrow, I will have a Zoom meeting with our Texas friends.  More on this then. 

It was finally time to go home.

 

Neither of us wanted to get up this morning.  It was chilly outside, and it would be another few days until we were together again.  Yet, I was up at 6 am, as the sunlight coming in from the window outside  wouldn't let me sleep.

- - - - - -

For some reason, I couldn't find the undies I left at RQS's place for when I sleep over.  Yes, it's easy to determine which undies belong to me when I'm presenting as Mario.  But, when both are wearing the same gender's undies, things can get confusing.  I was lucky to have a few pairs in the suitcase I brought with me this weekend.  Even more so, a pair of socks had holes, so I pulled out a pair from the suitcase as well.

Around 2:30, RQS and I left her place.  She needed to go to the bodega to pick up tonight's dinner, while I went to the bus stop which services both the express route and the local route.  This was a good move, as the first bus that came along was the express bus.  But even with the express bus, the trip home was problematic - the transit authority was replacing the turnstiles, making an "Accessible" station non-accessible.  I had to drag my bag down a couple of flights of stairs to get myself and my suitcase to the train.  (I'm lucky that the escalator to the upper level was working, as the elevator to that level was shut down for work on the turnstiles.)

Eventually, I made it into Manhattan, and then to Grand Central.  I had just enough time to make it to an express train to Croton, and was home before 5 pm.  By 6 pm, I was at Trader Joe's, picking up food for the rest of the week, before going home for the evening.

- - - - - -

Tomorrow, I'll have to present as Mario to get my car inspected.  After this, I can change back to Marian and put new polish on my nails. 

Visiting RQS at her place for the first time in a while

 

Before I went to RQS, I had things I wanted to do: Clean up some of the mess in my apartment and do some Laundry.  Well, I got to the first task, but not to the second task.  

But first.... 

- - - - - - 

I woke up with the alarm, and realized that I had to clean up some of the clutter in my place.  There was a lot of clean laundry which had to be put into my closets and my drawers.  So this was the first task I tackled.  For the most part, my clothes were put away, and I was left with a single basket of stuff which required special handling.  (Towels to the linen closet, sheets to a drawer, and other items to be put in proper spaces.)  And then, I continued debugging a spreadsheet I developed to compute estimated cruise pricing, given expected purchases of items not included in the fares.

Once finished with all of this, I packed a suitcase with the stuff I'd need over the weekend (as Marian), and got ready to trek into NYC.  I barely made a local to GCT, and then had to transfer to the subway.  As usual, I made the mistake of transferring to a Brooklyn/Queens bound line at a station where the elevators weren't working.  But, once I lugged my bag up and down some stairs, I had a seat for the rest of my trip to RQS's place.

- - - - - -

Although I have keys to RQS's house, I had a problem - for some reason, I couldn't get them to work.  (I also couldn't get them far enough out of my bag to use them properly.)  So, I had to buzz RQS to let me in.  Once my bags were dropped off, we were off for some Thai food at a nearby place.  I had my usual - Drunken Noodles with Crispy Duck, a dish I could have more of any day.  But then, I love duck.  It may not be as much as in Daffy Duck and the Dinosaur, but enough that I rarely turn down the opportunity to have this bird for dinner. 

- - - - - -

It's nice to have a girlfriend/partner who seems to accept the idea that I prefer to present as Marian as much as possible.  The other day, she mentioned an area in Jersey City we may consider moving to, a place where I can ditch much of Mario's wardrobe and live as Marian 99% of the time.  When I mention IF we get married (there are financial negatives for us to do so), we'd both be shopping for (and wearing) wedding dresses.  That's something to look forward to!