Dotting I's and Crossing T's.

  I had three things on the docket today, and I blew one off because it looked like we'd have heavy rain in the evening. Luckily, the most important thing, lunch with my friend from the census was on, and we had a great time. - - - - - - Although I had my alarms set for 10 am, I didn't get moving until 11 am.  This meant that I only had an hour to get ready for lunch. Since this was going to be a day out as Marian, I made sure to shave all over before getting dressed and made up to go out for lunch.  I may have stood out a little by wearing a sweater dress instead of jeans, but I prefer the feel of a dress over that of trouser like garments. Arriving at 12:30 pm, I was at the restaurant first for a change.  My friend arrived a couple of minutes later, and I proceeded to chat about my car purchase saga.  Then, I had fun telling her about the man from another meetup group who wanted to help this old lady . She had her own stories to tell as well, such as her upcoming trip out we

  A while back, I decided to buy stock in two cruise line corporations: NCL Holdings and Carnival corp.  Although both stocks have given me acceptable market appreciation, I may have gained more by taking advantage of the benefits that each shareholder can receive by filling in a form.  Today, I mailed out forms to give me $350 worth of cruise credits ($100 for my first cruise and $250 for my second cruise taken on Princess this year.) Over the past couple of years, I have already received $500 of onboard credits from NCL and Carnival.   I expect that over time, these stock purchases will have paid for themselves in cruise credits alone.  The only reason that I didn't buy RCCL when I bought these stocks is that I didn't want to pony up $6,000 to own shares in a company whose products I don't use.  (I'm not knocking RCCL.  Instead, I simply didn't want to take the risk of investing this much money in a firm when I wasn't sure of when cruise line business would re

  Today, I was supposed to meetup with an "old" friend, and then attend a meeting with a new meetup group.  Well, things didn't work out as expected.  Just after I had gotten dressed to meet her for lunch, SJM texted me to postpone lunch, as her son was taken to the hospital.  (I won't say more than this here.)  But she had one hell of a day, and we'll catch up with each other in the morning.  So, instead of meeting SJM, I picked up an egg sandwich at the deli where I used to stop every day before going to work at the imaging firm. It's amazing how some people remember you after a couple of years.  I was greeted warmly, with the "what happened to you?" question.  I mentioned that I had retired, then told not to make myself scarce.  (Of course not, they want my business and they like friendly faces.)  With sandwich in hand, I decided to drive up to Poughkeepsie to browse the spring offerings at Lane Bryant.  While on the road, I chatted with my friend

  I'm coming close to inking a deal on a car.  Some dealerships have given me prices, and others keep steering me towards haggling with their sales people.  Of course, I will not play their game the way they want it played.  Instead, I may go with the salesman I liked most, only because I felt that he was giving me an honest, but high price. Lately, I've been watching videos from the people who started caredge.com , Ray and Zach Shefska.  I'm hoping that these guys are able to develop their business in a way that forces car dealerships to get real, and to stop depending on haggling.  I may even use their service soon.  Who knows?   At the very beginning of the pandemic shutdown, dealerships were making good offers to get rid of inventory, as many wanted to stem the loss from floor plan financing.  During the rest of the pandemic and through the recovery, car prices shot through the roof due to supply chain issues.  Now, we're seeing signs that dealerships are choking o

  Jelly's Last Jam tells the story (very loosely) of Jelly Roll Morton's life, as well as his contributions to the musical form we know as Jazz.  This was one of the better revivals in City Center's Encore! series. Given that I enjoyed Jelly Roll's music , I figured that this would be an entertaining diversion for both RQS and I, and gave her tickets to see this show on Valentine's Day. A week and a half later, we braved the cold to go to City Center.  Weekend travel on the NYC Subway system can be frustrating at times, as many lines are shut down (whole or in part) for maintenance. For us, this meant that we had to deal with a larger than normal crowd at Union Square as we made our way outside to get a bite to eat. Now, I don't keep any of my feminine wardrobe at RQS's house.  Even though it hovered near 32°f, the wind chill made it feel worse than that. So I was very fortunate that my feminine wardrobe was not available to me, as I would have braved the c

  This is not where we ate the other day.  But I'd have loved to eat here, just for the outdoor ambiance. Vicki, RQS and I agreed to meet at one of our usual go-to places, Lefteris Gyro for a dependable good meal. - - - - - - RQS and I had been car shopping all day when a woman who I met in Marian mode called.  I made the mistake of answering the phone in Mario mode, and then RQS came on the line and fouled things up a little.  I'll bet that this spooked the woman who could have become a friend before I had the chance to mention my TG nature.  When I called her back later on, I found that her voice mail response hadn't been updated since 2021.   Around 7 pm, we met at Lefteris, and  had a good meal.  Vicki may have been a little surprised to see me in Mario mode, but that was because I had been in Mario mode to do car shopping. Our conversation got a little animated (not in a nasty way), as Vicki and I both have strong opinions and needed to express them as part of our conv

  Although it was a perfect day to go outside and test drive some cars, I ended up staying indoors until it was time to go to game night.   - - - - - - One thing I've noticed at game night is that the people there always refer to me as SHE.  That's very important, as they know I'm transgender.  Whether or not I go for radical surgical alterations to my body or not is a minor issue with this group of friends.  People there are comfortable with the idea of being transgender, and just accept me as a normal person. Even with being accepted, being the oldest person in the room does make me feel odd at times.  I am not good at games that require a lot of strategical thought - I might be more of a tactician than a strategist.  But I enjoy going there because I enjoy the company of younger people.  And that's something that will likely keep my mind active as I get older. - - - - - - With all of the above being said, I had a troublesome thought come to mind.  What would happen w

  I am a male with gender non-conforming presentation, or I am a transgender woman with very mild gender dysphoria.  In either case, I have to think about my future, and my potential needs as I grow old.  This means I may need to find senior care facilities which accommodate and cater to people like me.  I don't think I'll feel comfortable if I'm forced to present as Mario for the rest of my life.  And I don't think I'd feel comfortable if I'm only able to be with queer people like me.  I need to be in a place where I can mix between both worlds - something which may not be possible for a baby boomer like me. Although there are services for the senior LGBT community, such as senior housing and senior centers, I will try to live on my own for as long as possible.  Yet, I will eventually need to find housing that fits the needs of an older version of myself, and I expect that there will not be enough of this type of housing when I need it.  So what will I do?  I

  So far, I have only been able to take the time to test drive one car, the Buick Envista.  As much as I like the car, I am not yet ready to drop the hammer and buy the car.  I have yet to drive the other two cars at the top of my list: the Honda HR-V and Mazda CX-30. One of the issues I have living in two gender modes, is that I have to schedule events that require my presence as Mario (usually with people who only know me as Mario, or when my legal ID has to be presented) on days where I'll be in Mario mode.  So I haven't had much time to go out for test drives.  I expect that the process of test driving cars, arranging for insurance, then taking possession of the car will take 6 weeks.  So I expect that, barring any unforeseen issues, that I'll be driving something new in a few weeks. Once I have the new car, I figure that I'll be taking mass transit more often to visit RQS at her place, as it will be harder to find a good parking spot in her neighborhood.  At least,

  This weekend was a "half and half" weekend in more ways than one.  Although she came up on Thursday to spend the evening with me at game night, we drove down to her place on Saturday to spend the rest of the weekend in the city.  This was a nice change of pace. But first.... Lately, I haven't had much energy to do much of anything.  But I had enough to get dressed and meet RQS at the train station in Marian mode.  From there, we were off to Lefteris Gyro, as we'd be heading towards Yonkers for game night.  Once done with dinner, we drove over to game night where RQS was warmly welcomed.  (I think that the host and hostess approve of my choice of girlfriend.😊)  We were in time for 2 games, and both of us did poorly - and had fun doing so. On Friday, I had to return to Mario mode, so that I could test drive a car.  I'm very surprised that Buick has a compact SUV in my price range. Even though it has a 3 cylinder engine, the car had a bit of pep for a small car. 

  This won't be a long post.  But I know how I'll be dressed for the next week or so.  And it'll be nice to spend another week solely as Marian! In the past, I have mentioned how I use a calendar to keep track of which days I'll present as Mario and which days I'll present as Marian.  Tomorrow, RQS and I are going to the nail salon - and that means that I'll be spending the better part of next week as Marian.  Yay!  Yes, it helps that RQS will be coming up for Game Night this week.  And I'm always glad that she can spend time with the people I call my friends. When I dated XGFJ, there were people with whom I only socialized with as Marian.  This situation made XGFJ uncomfortable accompanying me to certain gatherings.  Now that we've been out of each other's lives for a while, we've been able to live our lives without encumbrances posed by each other's comfort levels.  And that's been a blessing for me, as I prefer to be out as Marian as m

  I don't know how I stumbled onto the above picture of Alfred and Alice E. Newman.  But it illustrates how the true essence of an individual will show through, no matter the gender presentation of that individual.  In my case, my true friends see me as the same person in both male and female modes, although they are sometimes surprised when I show up in the alternate presentation. - - - - - - Planning my gender presentation can be a hassle.  For example, I have a book at the library that I want to pick up, and that requires that I show myself in Mario mode.  Yet, RQS and I plan to get a Mani-Pedi this weekend, so I will need to present myself as Marian for my visit to the nail spa.  This is a typical scheduling problem for me, as I have to figure out ways to do some things that require Mario to be present, while I will be out as Marian later in the day.  However, once I'm wearing nail polish, I'm stuck in Marian mode for the better part of a week (or more). I have other sc

    Another day, another lunch.... Today, I caught up with SJM, a former colleague from the imaging firm.  We try to meet every month or so to catch up on things, and I told her all about my December cruise.  Although I was a little long winded, she had a good chance to tell me what has been going on in her life - such as the saga of a car that has been in the collision repair shop more than it has been out of it.  (With these "new fangled computer gizmos," it's hard for the average body shop to get many cars working as if they were new without dealer/factory assistance.) Normally, I am a few minutes late for lunch.  But I got there on time - even though I took a little extra time to wear tights under a dress, instead of a tunic and leggings.  (The process of putting on stockings is a small price I pay to look more feminine.) As usual, we chose to eat at one of the places in Croton, this time, the local Japanese restaurant - Samurai .  As much as I enjoy Sushi, I decided

  Often, I get to spend half the weekend in Marian mode and the other half as Mario.  This past weekend was one of those weekends. Given the cold weather that was coming in, I knew that going out as Marian would be harder to do without freezing a little.  So I made sure to be able to get that day in before the weather made things uncomfortable. - - - - - - When I picked RQS up at the train station, I had a simple question to ask her: Do we eat in or out?  (I had 2 steaks thawed out, waiting to be cooked in the ice box.)  RQS decided that we should eat out.  So we went to Savannah & Co . for a change of pace - and both of us ordered the Baby Back Ribs.  Yum! Then it was home for the evening. The next day, we hung out around the house most of the day, with the idea of seeing Freud's Last Session in Pleasantville.  The press on this film said that Anthony Hopkins delivered a great performance, but the movie didn't strike home as well as the play did.  So, I had to see it for m

  This past Tuesday, I went to my first meetup of the new year.  I've been to this restaurant during Hudson Valley Restaurant Week, but never at another time.  This place, Char Steakhouse, has a prix-fixe menu on Tuesday nights that is quite good.  So I figured that I'd try it out. - - - - - - One of the problems with Char is that it is hard to see where their driveway begins and ends in the dark.  As a result, I had to go very slow turning into the place, lest I drive my car into a ditch.  Once there, it's not always easy to find a parking spot.  But what makes things easy for those in the know is that there is a rear entrance to the building that usually serves as the main entrance to the restaurant. I saw my group, and sat down next to the leader of the group.  Soon, someone else came in with a friend, and we all started gabbing.  The lady to my side hit it off quite well, and we exchanged numbers, so that we could meet for lunch one day.  Hopefully we can do that - but

  I got my Mani-Pedi, money from the bank, and I'm now almost done with packing for the cruise.  This will be the first cruise I've taken as Marian since my Hawaii trip.  And I'm looking forward to it.  Yet, I will likely NOT get off the ship, as none of the ports protect my right to go out as Marian. So, why am I taking this cruise? The answer is relatively simple.  I want to spend some time as Marian and try out a new cruise line at the same time. Right now, I'm almost packed and ready to go.  I still have to find things such as a lanyard, and water shoes.  But that's about it.  Given the weather that's going to be coming up the coast, I expect that I must be prepared for anything.  One thing I'm sure of is that we're not going North or East.  South is the only practical direction at this time of year. - - - - - - Regardless of how well this new cruise line performs, I don't think I'll be a regular customer for their cruises.  This line sails o

  Holiday Season is here.  And this year, my plans were not as simple as they might have been in years past.  My niece and nephew will not be coming to New York this year, and this means that my brother will not be doing anything special for the holiday.  RQS has no family to visit, leaving my family and friends as her options for people with whom to share the holiday.  This meant that I had something special for us to do together, and find someone who was also alone on the holiday. Our original plans were for RQS to come up to Croton, and we would find a nice place to eat on Christmas day.  However, most of the places we looked at were offering Christmas Eve dining, but not Christmas Day dining.  So we regrouped.  Instead of being in Croton, I'd go down to Queens and we'd have a special dinner in NYC, specifically a high-class Chinese restaurant. (We joked that we were becoming "Honorary Jews" for the day, as it is a custom for many Jews to eat Chinese food on this h

  There are several trips that I want to take next year, and only one of them have been booked so far. Norwegian Fjords Cruise ( Booked ) California Coastal Cruise from LA (an excuse to visit my uncle) San Francisco Long Weekend (an excuse to arrange a "Girls' Trip") Bermuda Cruise (we didn't have the chance to explore enough) DC or Philadelphia Long Weekend Of these, the Norwegian Fjords Cruise is a must, as some of the most scenic fjords will be closed off to cruise ships beginning in 2025.  However, there are more trips that I want to take, and I see them taking place in 2025 and beyond.  Hopefully, an increasing number of these trips will be as Marian, as this is the identity in which I prefer to live.  But to do so, I will need to alter my legal identity to be more in sync with my gender presentation.  I figure that I have time to do this, as my passport has another 4 years on it. - - - - - - One of these days, I'd like to take a cross country car trip while

  When the day began, I was thinking of going into NYC and seeing a matinee performance of an off-Broadway play.  However, I didn't buy my ticket on time, and decided to stay in Westchester for the day. - - - - - - Considering that I didn't get out of the house until after 12:00 pm, I knew that trying to see another matinee would be pushing  the limits.  So, I decided to go for lunch at a diner in White Plains.  While there, there was a couple of women chatting away in Spanish, while the son sat quietly at the table.  By the time I was done, I wanted to tell the mother that her son was well behaved - but it wouldn't have been received as I'd meant it.  So I erred on the side of caution, and left the diner to visit my acquaintances at the LGBT Center Having been to the LGBT center many times, I knew a way into the parking lot that allows me to avoid the building entrance for a pre-school on the other side.  When I entered the building, I met one of my old acquaintances,

Although I wish I could go on a Hawaii cruise again this year, it is not to be.  The prices are right, and I could have booked airfare at a reasonable price.  (Un)fortunately, RQS and had  booked a Bermuda cruise for this time of year, and I had booked another cruise for two weeks after that. As I write this, I am about to take a Bermuda cruise with RQS, and have started preparing for our trip.  Unlike previous cruises, we are going to the cruise terminal from my place, and we both think it will be an easier trip than taking an Uber from the middle of Queens.  This will be our first time in Bermuda, and I am looking forward to the experience.  Sadly, I will be traveling as Mario, and not my authentic self. - - - - - - Last night, I exchanged a set of messages with someone I've known for years, but am no longer close to.  We caught up with what was going on with our families, and chatted about what our plans were for Thanksgiving.  (I'll be eating my holiday meal on the ship, wh