The other day, I sent out a letter to someone I once had as a close friend. Although I was the person who caused the rift two years ago, I was recently pissed at her for cursing me out for no real reason. She perceived a slight from me when I disagreed with her labeling of an action of hers as a favor when it wouldn't be considered such by most people. I figured that I'd bide my time, and waited to send my response to her.
Now, my recent letter wasn't nasty. No longer was I going to be apologetic for what I did, now that 2 years have passed. If we hadn't found a way to rebuild a burnt bridge, then why keep trying? Instead, I simply needed to get some things off my chest other than my falsies. Sadly, she is the type to anger easily, and never consider a form of reconciliation. (No, I'm not looking for a friendship. Instead, I just wanted to say a couple of things I felt she needs to hear.) Nor is she the type to listen to what someone else has to say when she feels slighted. Thankfully, there never was any sexual chemistry between us - I'd hate to have lived with her "Sturm und Drang" under the same roof.
Do I miss this ex-friend? Sometimes, but not often. I miss her even less now after she tried to make me feel bad for not having her in my life. There are times that I want to share something, then realize that this person is no longer in my life and not available for sharing. (I scattered the ashes of that former friendship months ago.) Luckily, I have enough people in my life with whom I can share things, and I don't need this person anymore.
This ex-friend once thanked me for introducing her to another of my acquaintances, but did it in a way which felt like she was trying to rub salt into old open wounds. (This acquaintance now knows of what happened at the end of summer, and of this letter.) It would be nice if this ex-friend would think of how other people would think of her words and actions before doing anything, instead of speaking or acting on impulse. Maybe, she might get the happiness she wants and deserves in life. I hope she finds this happiness soon. I just won't be there to see it.
