Game Night - The only reason I got dressed today (a short post)

 

We did not play the above game tonight.  But we did play ONE game.  Yet, for the second time in recent memory, I was the only person who went to game night.

But first....

I woke up early, and took my time to get moving.  For the most part, I did nothing until about 4 pm.  And then I started to get showered, made up and dressed.  Going in any of the dresses I laundered the night before wouldn't work, so I pulled out a tunic and leggings and felt that would be perfect for the day. 

I left the house 15 minutes earlier than usual, and was in Yonkers in time to get a bite to eat AND to get to the host's place in time for the first game.  So, I decided to stop by the recently remodeled Burger King on the side of the NYS thruway in Yonkers.  This was a big mistake!  After placing my order on the touchscreen, I selected pay with cash at register.  And that's where the "fun" began.  Three woman, all Spanish speakers, were trying to place an order with the one lady manning the register.  Five minutes later, they vacated the counter area, and so did the lady who took their order.  There were at least seven people waiting to pick up their orders, and no one came to the register.  After another ten minutes, I walked out.  I received no food, so why should I wait to pick up any food?  If they can't keep up with the orders coming in, management should make sure that the store maintains proper staffing levels.  They lost $15 worth of business simply because a place that normally serves "fast" food wasn't fast enough to take care of its patrons.

A few minutes later, I had picked up a bottle of soda and a bag of pretzel sticks to hold me over until I could get to another fast food joint. Then, it was off to game night.  I was the only one there.  No one else showed up.  Weird.  At least, I was able to play one game before leaving.

 

I realized something about myself the other day

 

OK, it's a weird title for a post.  But it makes sense given that I am noticeably risk adverse.  I like safety, especially when I'm going out into the unknown.  That's why I found cruising to be so attractive - one goes to new places, and has a curated and safe experience when in those places.  

- - - - - -

Traveling in the United States is easy for me.  We have a shared culture, and almost everyone knows the rituals and what they should expect when traveling.  I can't say the same about foreign travel, especially when people don't speak the same languages that I do.  (I don't need fluency in a foreign language, but I do need the ability to ask for directions, etc. when needed.)  So, I felt comfortable going to Norway on my first overseas cruise, as many people speak English as a second language, and just as many also know German in addition to their national languages.  In short, I can feel safe, and yet still get a taste of the places I visit.

It's nice to let someone else handle the logistics of getting me from point A to point B.  I can do this within the USA, but that's because I know the rules (both written and unwritten) to set up my own travel arrangements.  Yet, if I'm going on a cruise, I'll let the cruise line handle the logistics outside of New York, because it is easier for me to do so.  Even so, I know what to do when traveling to cruise ports in Seattle, California (SF, LA, & SD), Texas (Galveston), Florida (Miami, Fort Lauderdale and Tampa), Philadelphia, and Boston.  Outside the US, it's something else altogether.  Could I do this in London?  Maybe so, but I wouldn't want the hassle.  The less I know about a place, the more I want others to handle the logistics.

Last night (as I write this), RQS decided to add a shore excursion to our cruise at 11:30 pm.  I got a little nervous, as I know that most people make mistakes after a long day, when they are running out of energy.  Since I just paid roughly $3,000 for the cruise, the last thing I wanted was a check-out problem that could cost us the cruise.  (This happens on some cruise lines when payment for incidentals has not been completed.)  Luckily, RQS got everything right.  But if something went wrong, there was no one I could call at that time of night.

As you can see, I am a "Belt and Suspenders" kind of person.  Although I can "wing it" much of the time, I always want good options for the times things go wrong.  That's why I was nervous about going out as Marian for the first time.  Now, I have confidence in my presentation, and it shows.  And yet, I still needed help until I had the experience and associated knowledge to do things myself. 

A visit to the doctor - he listened a little today

 

 

I always dread going to my doctor, as he always focuses on my weight.  Although he made his usual comments about my weight (though I was down several pounds on his scale), he finally paid some attention to the problems I've been having in my back and with my legs.  And he did this only because he was instructing a trainee who needed some field experience in addition to her class work. If there was any doubt in my mind that it's time to change doctors, it has gone away.  It's now mental inertia that gets in the way of making a switch.

As I get older, I'm noticing the slings and arrows of old age.  The indignities of aging are annoying at best.  Arthritis is a constant presence - especially when the weather changes.  (What old person can't predict the weather by the pains in his/her joints.)  I notice that I'm weaker than I used to be.  No longer can I imagine helping two men lug my entertainment center up the stairs to my apartment, when I'm having problems bringing my laundry up and down the stairs.   And, sexual dysfunction is a norm, not an abnormal occurrence.  Yet, in a strange way, it makes it easier for this trans woman to shift into a more female existence.

It's easier for me to go out as Marian these days, as I've gotten much more confident in my presentation. Several times as of late, I've noticed women make the kind of friendly compliments to me that they would only reserve for other women.  Yet, there is still a long road ahead of me on this path to being accepted as a woman.  I know that there will be many bumps on this path, but it's better to hot them than not proceed any further. 

 

Buying tickets for a "Last Minute" cruise on the cheap can be confusing.

 

I had "written off" a cruise because my passport might not arrive by the time we had to depart for the cruise.  My passport was issued within 2 weeks of my application for renewal, and many options became open to me.  The cruise I just booked was one of those I thought wouldn't be open to me due to the time it might take to renew my passport.

- - - - - -

Both RQS and I had an itch to take another cruise, and I had already planned to treat her to a cruise once the family homestead was sold.  Well, the house was sold, and it was "put up or shut up" time.  So, with RQS talking about other cruises, I saw the cruise we're going to take and suggested it.  She loved the idea!  So, I booked that cruise today, paid the bill, and now had to deal with the logistics of getting a wardrobe down to RQS's place before the cruise.

For some reason, I always have a problem with entering data for this cruise line.  I may have the wrong email address on file for my account with the line - who knows?  But I finally figured things out and got into my booking.  Yes, there is a problem which may require some data entry from RQS.  We'll find out when she starts entering in personal data.

- - - - - -

The cabin we chose is one of several with a view of the main atrium.  This is not a liability, as the atrium is rarely used for loud events.  (This cruise line has an "elegant" clientele which still dresses up for formal nights.)  We will be in the center of the ship, and I'll be writing more about the cruise as the time comes near. 

By now, the election results will be in.

 

By now, we will know the results of election day.  Will the Democrats have gained control of Congress? Or, has the GOP manipulated things, so that they were able to override the results of a fair election?  Who knows, but I expect that our president and his loyalists will do what they can to avoid being held accountable to both the people and to the law in 2027 and beyond.  In short, I expect the GOP to cheat as much as possible.

- - - - - -

As I write this, it's 2 weeks before election day, and I'm waiting until the end of the week to hand in my early vote  I don't trust our post office to faithfully deliver ballots to the polling centers.  Right now, I don't feel that anything connected with our Federal government is worth any trust.  I feel lucky that my Passport and Global Entry card (Trusted Traveler Number for Domestic Air Travel) were both renewed in a little under 2 1/2 weeks.  Given this administration's hatred of transgender folk, and its hatred of people who oppose their crimes, I had wondered if I might get caught up in one of their sweeps.

I have to admit that I live in a leftist media bubble.  But I don't think that I'd be lone - even in the heart of MAGAland.  Even the "Red States" are getting tired of our president's insane actions.  But I don't count on enough of these people to stand up and protect our democratic republic.  All too many of them still follow an authoritarian cull leader.

Based on my last contact with the Foreign births Registry, my updated application should be processed by March.  Once that is taken care of, it'll be time for me to file for a second passport - this time, with the nation of my paternal ancestors.  When I traveled there in the past, I felt like a foreigner in the land of my ancestors.  Yet, it could be a second home to me if needed.

- - - - - -

However, I don't intend to dwell on the troubled situation in the USA right now.  We'll likely see troublemakers and agitators claiming that the elections were fraudulent.  I'm just hoping that enough sane people are able to keep things under control and checkmate our Orange Monster for good.... 

 

Sometimes, it pays to be a guinea pig

 

A week or two ago, my dentist made an offer to "the 1st 10 people to reply" to get a free CT scan of their jaw for use in a future dental implant.  Well, after 12+ years of procrastinating for financial reasons, I decided to take advantage of this offer while I'm still flush enough to afford an implant I've put off for way too long.

- - - - - -

This morning, I left RQS's place a bit earlier than usual, so that I could make it home and  change into Marian Mode before the dental visit.  It was a good thing I did so - all 3 East River bridges from Queens to the Bronx were bollixed up due to construction work on the bridges.  This was the worst I've ever seen traffic going to any of these bridges, as all were backed up for miles before even reaching the bridges.  And, even by bailing onto local streets to reach the 3rd bridge (the Triboro, aka: RFK bridge), I decided to suffer with the lesser of these evils and put up with the traffic jam until I reached the Bronx.

Once across the river, it was easy sailing, and I reached home 45 minutes later than planned.  This was enough time for me to change into Marian Mode, and take care of a problem arising from Amazon's mis-delivery of a package at 4 am.  (It's now scheduled for tomorrow at the same time - AARGH!)

At 3 pm, I went to the dental office, and everyone was addressing me with the correct pronouns, and the non-gendered version of my name was on the screen.  A rep from the CT scan company was teaching the dental staff how to use the new device, and I was the most cooperative guinea pig they could have.  Within 10 minutes of sitting down, and being moved around so that the scan could encircle my head, I was out the door.  I probably saved somewhere between $250 and $500 by being a guinea pig.  But now, I have to commit to the implant - and I'm glad I'm doing so.

Soon, I'll have a tooth that replaces a molar, and I could chew normally in the near future. 

I feel like a stuffed goose! (a short post)

 

This was a weekend spent as Mario.  But I had good reason - two dinners which required Mario's presence.  The first was with my brother, and the other was with RQS's cousin, daughter, and granddaughter.  There would be a lot of food on the menu, and not enough time to digest it all.

- - - - - -

Saturday came, and my brother was supposed to pick us up around 4 pm.  From RQS's place, we would then drive to the Rockaways and dine at an Italian restaurant I had seen in an online ad years ago.  Rocco's is just off a main drag, around the corner from a subway station.  Yet, it's a pain in the ass for us to get to without a car.  So, we only have gone there when my brother drives us.

This would be the last time we'd be able to eat and charge it to our business, as the house was sold in August.  But we made the most of it.  The food was yummy, and we were quite full when we left the place. It's too bad that we didn't order the Cannoli to go, as we were craving a sweet dish later in the evening.

- - - - - -

Sunday was our day to meet up with RQS's cousin (and her family).  We took the subway into Manhattan and got to the restaurant on time.  However, her cousin was late.  But that was OK.  The Dim Sum house wasn't busy when we were seated, but was very busy by the time we had finished eating.  Our conversations flowed like water, and we all wished we had more time.

RQS's cousin is allergic to shellfish.  So, I made sure that everything we ordered had no trace of shellfish in its making.  For example, there would not be any "Beef with Oyster Sauce" type dishes.  And, we had to ask the waitress to help us insure that there was no seafood related ingredients in the dishes.  Yet, I still had concerns when the Wonton Soup was delivered - there was a piece of seaweed as a garnish.  RQS's cousin said this was not a problem, and we had a tasty and filling meal acceptable to all.

Sadly, we all had to go home two hours later.  RQS's cousin went back to her hotel, while RQS and I went back to Queens.  Hopefully, I didn't gain too much weight over the weekend.... 

Choosing to take a last minute cruise

 

Last night, I broke the news to RQS that I wanted to treat her to a cruise.  Although I found a 12-day cruise that would take us to "the islands" at a reasonable price, I found a different cruise with a different cruise line that would give us most of the same benefits at the first - but at a lower price for the things we'd actually use.

Unlike a lot of our cruises, this one would be done "on the cheap."  We'd be booking a "Guaranteed" cabin (read: any cabin meeting the fare class or better), no alcohol package, and streaming wi-fi.  For a similar 11-day cruise the price is right, and it is a gift I can give to myself and to RQS for the holiday season. We'd be going to the same islands we went to on our last 12-day cruise to the Caribbean, and we'd finally have a chance to take a shore excursion on one island that we skipped on our last cruise with this line.

Assuming I book this cruise tomorrow, it will be the 4th cruise we'll take this year.  Yet, we only have 1 cruise scheduled for next year.  I'll have to do something about that.  There are so many places where I'd like to cruise, but haven't had the time or money to do so.

- - - - - -

What is cruising to me?  For the most part, it's a vacation where all one has to do is show up.  Virtually everything is curated for the cruiser.  On some lines, one takes a cruise to join in a series of onboard parties.  On others, it is to have a quiet place to escape from the world.  For me, it's checking in at a hotel that travels from port to port and provides food and entertainment for the time I'm there.

Being retired, one can ask: What's the difference between being home and relaxing, and being on a ship and relaxing?  The answer is in the effort in doing so.  I have to cook all my meals, change all my sheets, and perform my own housekeeping while at home.  I don't have to do this while cruising.  It's a nice way to live for a week or two, but one that costs several thousand dollars to do so.

I hope to do a lot more cruising over the next few years.  And I hope to have RQS with me as I do so. 

I hate getting old, but it's better than the alternative

 

As I write this, it's a little more than two weeks before Halloween.  And this is the one day that it always makes sense for me to present as a male.  AARGH!!!  But it makes a lot of sense, given that there are a lot of cross-dressers out there who only go outside when being "in costume" - and what TG person wants to be mis-gendered by people thinking you are wearing a costume?

- - - - - -

While I've gotten older, I've lived through a lot of "been there, done that" experiences that often repeat themselves.  Doctors' visits, Dental visits, License Renewals, etc. have all become repeating experiences.  Days seem to blend into each other, as many of the things I do tend not to be novel.  And that's why I force myself to get out and travel, trying to get in at least one bucket list trip each year. Yet, I'm always a little bit ambivalent about trying new things and going to new places.  Go figure.

Yesterday, I chatted with MSJ about grief and loss.  Today, I had a similar conversation with my brother in regard to the loss of intimacy.  He still doesn't seem to understand a lot of things, as his situation cannot come to closure until his wife has passed away.  He cannot grieve.  Yet, he suffers because he no longer can be intimate with anyone (and no, I'm not talking about sex, though that's part of the equation.)  He has friends, but friendships can only go so far.

It is normal as people get old to lose friends and lovers.  I've already lost a wife.  Two of my ex-lovers have already passed away.  Some of my friends have vanished from the scene, and I expect that at least one of these friends died last year.  Other friends have faded away, as we grew apart over the years.  This is normal for people who have reached senior citizenship.  And eventually, I will be gone from the scene.  It's the part of life we grow to accept, but never like.

- - - - - -

Strangely enough, I feel freer and happier than when I was young.  I always wished I could be the woman in a ball gown dancing in one of those old time movies.  But the gender I was assigned at birth wouldn't allow that.  It was not acceptable for me to wear a dress.  Now, I can present as the female I would have preferred to be born as, and wear the clothing which was denied to me in my youth.  Unlike the belief held by one woman I dated, it is not the idea of having sex that is important.  It is the other parts of being a woman that are important, having a wider range of intimate and supportive relationships - something males are not allowed to have in our culture.  Although I can live with the "plumbing" I've had from birth, I could be just as happy (if not more so), if I had the "plumbing" appropriate for a female.

MSJ said that I've had the best of both worlds.  She doesn't understand that being a male or a female includes a wide range of experiences, with a reasonable subset of them to be fully experienced to be truly male or female.  As a transgender person, I cannot experience many of the inconveniences of being female, and can only have an intellectual appreciation of a subset of cisgender female experiences that a transgender female can't have.  

- - - - - -

Well, I could go on and on.  But I need to cook dinner....     

Lunch with MSJ, and a useless drive to New Jersey

 

The above was not today's lunch.  Something like this would mean eating indoors.  And on the last warm day of the season, MSJ and I decided to eat under the gazebo in a nearby park.

But first....

I woke up around 9 am, and proceeded to plant myself in front of my computer taking care of completing a blog entry, then starting on the meeting minutes for the co-op board meeting.  By noon, I had to shift gears, so that I could meet MSJ by 1 pm.  So, I rushed to the shower, quickly applied my makeup, then put on one of the last summer dresses I had in my closet before rushing to the deli for a sandwich.  Only then could I go to meet MSJ, albeit several minutes later than planned.

Even though I did my fair share of talking, MSJ's needs dominated the conversation.  She soon will travel upstate to pick her son up from college.  But this means leaving her disabled husband alone with her other son.  What bothers her is that the demands of her life do not allow her to recharge her emotional batteries.  I said that if we lived in a different universe (if I were a cisgender female or post-op transgender female, and we both were unattached), I'd be taking her somewhere on a "Girls Trip".  I then noted that she has the worst of many worlds.  If her husband died, she'd have had a period of grief, and then found ways to move forward with life.  But, she has to keep taking care of him as well as taking care of her sons, not being able to nurture herself.

Once we were done with lunch, I decided to drive to Lane Bryant in Paramus.  One problem - they had closed this store.  Since there was no way I was going to drive to Clifton, I decided to take the long road back home via Bear Mountain.  (Too bad that RQS was not with me - the leaves are just starting to change.)  It was a nice drive home, and I was in for the night.  

Ending a long weekend and starting a short week (A short post)

 

It's Tuesday, and RQS finally had to go home.  She had her usual Tuesday routine to take care of, and I had lunch with DS on the schedule.  It could be a busy day or a relaxed day, all depending on what I planned to do with it.

- - - - - -

RQS and I got up early for us, and I dropped her off at the station at 10:30. But I had time to kill, as DS and I weren't scheduled to eat until 12:30.  So, I drove to Walmart to replace a pair of broken sunglasses. This killed enough time.  Once I got to Yonkers, I would not wait long.  So  off to Yonkers I drove.

I had never stopped in this area of Yonkers before - it was a safe area, but a confusing trip on local streets once off the parkway.  Several minutes after I arrived, DS arrived, and we placed our orders.  Since I've been having way too much Chicken lately, I ordered a Cheeseburger - and it was yummy,  We were there for 2 1/2 hours, and then it was time to leave.  

My next stop was at Lidl, a quick run to pick up some more vanilla nougats.  And then it was home for the night.  My legs were hurting, so I couldn't do laundry.  Even if I wanted to do so, I couldn't, as they were refinishing the laundry room floors.  So I was finally in for the night.

A Paperwork Status Update and Other Thoughts

 

In the past, I have mentioned that I have applied for entered in another nation's Foreign Birth Registry.  Today, I checked on the status of my paperwork, and found out that things are in progress, and I should expect an update towards the end of March.  Once I'm officially registered, I will say more about this country, and more about my feelings about doing this, as there is a part of me that feels as if I could have conflicting loyalties.

- - - - - -

Unlike many TGs, I am very lucky that I can still go stealth in my gender assigned at birth.  In today's America, this is an asset, as we have a federal government hostile to transgender people.  I don't travel as a female when I have to show my paperwork (passport, etc.) to a federal government employee.  Instead, I present as my assigned gender.  Hopefully, a Democratic Party wave will sweep the upcoming elections and force the MAGAloons out of power.  Then, we may just have sanity return in how transgender people are treated in America.

RQS and I have an Iceland Cruise scheduled for next year.  But we're very concerned about the price of the flights going even higher than they are now.  Jet fuel prices, like other fuel prices, have gone up 50% (or more) since our president started this illegal war against Iran.  Note that I am not a fan of Iran's cruel regime, and would love to see it fall.  The regime has a legitimate reason to be upset at the USA, as we overthrew Iran's elected leadership in the 1950's.  And Iran's actions are responsible (as a legitimate military response to America's actions) for the spike in oil prices. After our election day, I feel that things may change with oil prices, as our president will have much less power to screw things up.  Only time will tell.

My brother has told me that my nephew intends to propose to his girlfriend soon.  Assuming that my brother is right, it will be a small wedding.  Hopefully, it will allow us to facilitate taking another Alaska cruise, this time from Seattle, before or after the wedding.  Although Seattle is a city I want to visit, I've given it a low priority.  This wedding will temporarily give Seattle a higher priority on the "Cities to Visit" list.

We were looking at cruise videos and found a few CHEAP bucket list trips we could take.  One problem: RQS can't afford to take any of them.  Without a viable business to take these cruises, I will not book any of them.  But damn, I wish I could do so without hurting my relationship with her.  She is way too good a partner to have to risk the relationship for one trip.

As you can guess, both of us are itching to travel again.  We simply just don't know where and for how long.

 

Another Jammie Day (a short post)

 

RQS and I fell asleep shortly after SNL ended, and woke up at 9:30 this morning.  With the continuous rain outside, there was no way we'd be going out today.

- - - - - -

We ended up watching YouTube videos for much of the day.  Did we bother getting dressed and doing laundry?  No.  Did we do anything to clean up the apartment?  No.  We needed a day of relaxation, and we had one.

My brother called towards the afternoon, and we chatted for a while before he had to run off.  Now that I have my new passport, RQS started salivating at the idea of using her credit card points to buy tickets for another cruise.  I had to explain that chasing credit card points is a foolish thing, as the hidden cost of those points (in higher prices) is a foolish game. (Don't get me on the subject of excessive American credit card interchange fees and point accumulation - Europeans don't have this nonsense, and they are better off for it.)  When she realized that she couldn't buy a cruise, she looked into buying a restaurant gift card.  What I haven't noted is that I'm looking at paying for a cruise for the two of us, using a combination of my points (I rarely ever redeem them) and cash.  I have no problems paying with cash, if there is a cash discount, and with plastic if there is no discount.

By the time we were ready for dinner, we were hungry.  Luckily, we had enough food in the house to have a tasty meal without having to go to the supermarket.  But this made us decide to do some apartment cleanup and some laundry tomorrow.

Introducing RQS to another friend

 

I've known DPV since the early days of the post-Covid reopening of society.  We dated once, realized that we'd make better friends than lovers - and stayed friends.  I have driven her to a hotel prior to her going into a hospital for an operation.  (I won't say much about this, save that she has recovered acceptably well.)  And I wanted to make sure that DPV knew that RQS and I are an item, and that RQS knew about our friendship.  So, we finally scheduled a dinner at DPV's place for RQS and DPV to get to know each other.

DPV knows that I am TG, so wearing a dress (with tights to keep my legs warm) wouldn't be an issue.  So, the one question I had to ask was: What should we bring up for dinner?  DPV said we could bring up whatever wine we wanted, but I'm glad we didn't do so for reasons we found out later.  In the end, we decided on bringing up a cheesecake - a perfect choice.  Google Maps gave us a route that got us to DPV's place in under 90 minutes.  But it was through roads we'd never take again at night - there were way too many curves and blind spots to risk driving home on those rural roads.  As a result, we were near her house 30 minutes early, and stopped at a Mickey D's for a snack and to kill time.  

This dinner almost didn't come off.  DPV's house had no heat because there was no oil in the tank.  Why she didn't get her delivery a month ago, no one knows.  But she needed an emergency delivery today, and it hadn't come by the time we were there.  So, we had to dress warmly and deal with the chill inside the house.  When we arrived, DPV wanted us to hear this Kazakh singer which captivated DPV, but had no effect on us.  It took a while for dinner to be ready, so we were very glad that we had our snack before arriving. 

When dinner was served, DPV told us a little about her life story.  We found out that DPV had been in recovery for a long time (albeit with a rare lapse or two).  We talked about how a GLP-1 drug helped her lose weight, although she has another 100-150 pounds to go.  (This was my reason for not having a romance with her.  Me being a TG was hers.)  And, we eventually talked about cruising, specifically the cruise she is taking next year.  So, I made sure to give her the link to my cruise web page.  

All too soon, it was time to leave.  We wanted to get home in time for SNL's cold open.  And we were home with 15 minutes to spare.  It was a long day, but a good one. 

If you knew Sushi like I know Sushi....

 

I've been working on a gradual cleanup of the mess in my place.  For every 2 steps forward, I end up taking one step backward.  So, I had made a little bit of a mess in cleaning up a mess.

- - - - - -

This morning, I awakened at 9:00, my first memory being that I couldn't get MS-Now on my TV.  It seems like I had to go through the monthly ritual of renewing my access based on my cable TV subscription.  Realizing what I had to do, I woke up and started the day's routines.  

One of the things I needed to do is straighten up some of the mess in one corner of my bedroom, finding a place for the things I wanted to keep, and tossing out the stuff I didn't find worth keeping.  But this took some time.  And, by the time I was most of the way through the task, I had to take my shower and get ready to pick RQS up at the station.

RQS got an earlier train than originally planned, and I barely made it to the station on time.  I suggested that we go to the Sushi joint in Yonkers/Scarsdale, and she said yes.  So, it was off to the Sushi place, where we feasted on nutritious dishes of little raw fishes.  And then, it was back to my place for the evening.

- - - - - -

When I didn't mention was that this was the first time I wore my corduroy dress with a white, long-sleeved T-Shirt as a base layer.  It was too warm for the time I picked RQS up, but perfect for when we left for home.  I must have looked like a teacher on a date, not having changed into a "date night" dress before going out.  But I was comfortable, and found that this will be one of my winter staples when the weather cools off.

PS: My renewed passport arrived today!  Now, I can plan my future cruises.

Finally, a good night's sleep!

 

Last night, I was running on empty.  Not having good sleeps for several nights, I was very tired by the time it came for my nightly phone call with RQS.  Since I planned to get up and take care of a couple of things before sleeping, I decided to get comfortable on my bed for the nightly call.  And shortly after the call, I fell asleep.  Did I get in my jammies?  No.  Did I apply cream to my feet?  No.  Did I do any of the things in my normal post phone call routine before going to sleep?  No!  I simply passed out with my phone on my chest.  Boy, the waking up at 6 am had me feeling fully refreshed for a change.

- - - - - -

One of the projects I've been working on is to extract a Linux distribution, load it to a thumb drive, and then install it on a 10 year old laptop.  And for some unknown reason, I have been unable to do this.  It'd be nice to be able to play with Linux on my machine before I toss it out.  Sadly, none of the software I have works properly on this machine, and I can't figure out what I'm (likely) doing wrong.

At this point, I'll likely trash this machine because it's too slow for my purposes.  Given the age of this machine, its weight, etc., I'll wipe the hard drive and then send it to E-Waste processing.  I find it amazing how much E-Waste there is, considering that almost everything we buy now days has some form of computing chip (programmable controllers to CPU's) in its design.  (Who'd have thought 30 years ago that we'd have programmable toasters, light bulbs, and microwave ovens, among other devices.)

- - - - - -

Going to game night was a little awkward - in getting out of the apartment.  I had piled 5 garbage bags by the door, and could only take 4 of them out.  And that was a minor problem for me. But once the garbage was in the dumpster, I was able to get to Yonkers in a reasonable amount of time and play a game.  As usual, I lost.  But I go there to have fun, and not to be competitive.

  

 

A scam phone call and other minor annoyances

 

I decided to take care of little things today.  The most important thing on this list was doing a load of laundry.  RQS prefers to have clean sheets to sleep on when she comes up here, and I only had today and tomorrow to take care of this task.  So, in spite of my legs not wanting to go up and down the stairs to use the washers and dryers, I decided that there was no time like the present to take care of this task.

While in between loads, I received a couple of back to back phone calls, the first on my cell phone (which dropped without a message), and the second on my land line (with a scam message meant to lure me into giving up my personal ID.)  This message claimed that someone had opened up a duplicate under my name and bought some electronic device that would be charged to me if I didn't react.  (Sounds fishy even describing it, doesn't it?)  Luckily, I'm aware of many of these scams, and I know not to trust calls coming in on my land line.

Although I stayed in the apartment most of the day, there were things I needed to do on the outside. I wanted to see if Lane Bryant and Kohl's had clothes I was interested in based on information from their websites.  Unfortunately, neither store had what I was looking for, and as a result, didn't spend money I was ready to spend.  Next, was dinner.  This was easy for me to deal with - a Chicken/Lamb combination at a local Halal joint.  Yum!  Yet, I noticed something strange that indicates both inflationary pressures and supply chain problems - several meat dishes have some beef mixed into the primary meat mix.  Although I don't mind this, I'll bet that some people would rather pay more for Lamb without Beef.

Once done with dinner, it was time to go to Lidl for food shopping.  $50 later, I was out the door and on the way home.  On the whole, this was a good day, but one that had me moving again.

YouTube ads - my frustrations

 

I watch a lot of YouTube videos during the day.  I find that much of the content (including some of the AI generated "slop") is more interesting than mainstream news TV, as one can get a wider range of short form media than being delivered on the mainstream channels.  Right now, I have a video on which explains all of the different type of wires/transmission protocols that can be used to transmit data.  A few minutes ago, I had on one of the many "talking heads" discussing today's political mess.  And a few minutes from now, I might be playing a video of some performance I enjoyed in the past.  But, there is a problem: The Ads.

YouTube ads can be quite useful.  But sometimes, they can be quite annoying.  For example, I am mostly monolingual.  Yet, I often get ads in Spanish.  At best, these messages are lost on me, and I can ignore them.  Yet, sometimes, they can be quite annoying if they appear way too often.  And I will avoid their sponsors if these ads come up too often.

This year, we are being subjected to way too many political ads, most of them attacks, distortions or lies. For example, I recently viewed a political ad while at RQS's place.  Even though she lives in a different congressional district than I do, she also receives the same political slop that I receive in NY-17.  Since NY-17 is a contestable district, I have seen ads labeling the Democratic candidate as a Socialist.  RQS and I ask, what's wrong with Socialism when Capitalism keeps failing us?  I'll admit that my mind is already made up my mind regarding candidates I'll vote for, and I don't want to view any more of these ads.  So, why can't I block these ads?

Lately, I've started to see QVC/HSN advertise Jewelry on YouTube ads sent to my TV.  Although I am interested in buying costume jewelry, I can not wear bracelets of short length necklaces.  It's one of the problems I have being born in the wrong gender body type.  Since I can't reject these ads and I don't find them offensive, I let them play if the TV is on mostly for noise.  Yet, if there is an ad I can't stand, I will look for the remote and mute the TV until the video I want resumes.

Well, enough for now.  More tomorrow.. 

Doing some minor cleanup in the apartment (a short post)

As my regular readers know, my place is cluttered and messy.  So, when I want to clean up some of the clutter, I have to think hard about how I plan to attack the mess AND how much of the mess I need to take care of during one cleaning session.  

For someone like me, eliminating clutter is as much a mental effort as it is a mental effort.  I have way too many dresses in my closet, and many of them seem to be duplicates of each other.  So, if I haven't worn a dress in a while (at least once during its season) AND I am not in love with the dress, it is time to toss it in a donation bag.  (I am doing the same for much of Mario's side of the closet.)  Yet, this is only half of the work.

In front of my bed is a chest, with a lot of stuff piles on top of it in several baskets.  Today, I started to attack those baskets, and started to toss stuff in the trash, or to organize it better.  The same went for some of the stuff in my storage containers and closets as I transition to a winter wardrobe. Since cisgender women tend to wear trouser like garments for casual wear, I have adopted tunic length dresses over leggings as my everyday winter wardrobe. 

But back to my cleanup efforts....

I have found paperwork in my mess, some of which needs to be preserved, and some that needs to be trashed.  So, I'm sorting through paperwork and tossing out stuff I don't need.  Clothing is put into the hamper, hung up, or tossed into donation bags.  Electronic goodies (which include headsets, cables, chargers, etc.) get sorted and either saved in a safe space, or tossed into the trash.  I recently tossed a headset and other old equipment in the process of de-cluttering my place.

Unfortunately, I am unable to do this work more than (maybe) an hour at a time.  So, I have to try to keep up with things before I fall way behind.  Once I have cleaned up this place, I will start having a cleaning lady come back on a regular basis.  Let's hope that time comes soon.

Now to make Thanksgiving Dinner Reservations (a short post)

 

No, I am not that bad with my eating.  Yet, there are some foods which will trigger me overeating.  So, I try not to keep them in the house.  When I went home from RQS's place, she sent me back home with a couple of chocolate donuts - so she wouldn't be tempted to eat them

And this got me to thinking.  Where will we eat on Thanksgiving? And, what do I want to wear to dinner?

One of the things that can frustrate a trans woman is that most women's clothing is geared to highlight curves that trans women don't have.  I'm lucky to have found a few of those dresses and have kept them in my closet.  So, I'm not worried about this.  But I am a little concerned that I am interested in buying a gown meant only for weddings and for formal nights on the Queen Mary 2 - even though it has been marked down from $100 to $20.  Since I intend to make a transatlantic crossing on the QM2 one day, this might end up being up a good investment after all.

But, back to Thanksgiving....

I like dining at a place which will set me back less than $300 on the holiday. Dining out can get very expensive, and I like saving money whenever possible.  Right now, my favorite place hasn't yet posted its Thanksgiving menu.  As a fallback, I have some standbys I can choose from, even though at least one is in a fancy restaurant serving a buffet.

A weekend with RQS in Queens

 

Since we had no plans to see anyone needing for me to be in Mario Mode, I planned to present as Marian all weekend.  So I packed a bag with three changes of clothes (all dresses) and drove to RQS's place for the weekend.

Now, it usually takes roughly 2 hours for me to reach RQS's place from my place.  And this past Friday was more of the same, save that traffic jams (I should say, avoiding traffic jams) kept me on-time.  For example, traffic jams prevented me from shifting to the Hutchinson River Parkway and getting stuck waiting for a draw bridge to reopen.  In short, everything that went wrong ended up helping me. When I reached RQS's place, I got there late in the afternoon, and was lucky to find a parking spot that I did not need to wake up early on a Monday morning to vacate.  Then, I carted my bag to RQS's building, then up the stairs to her apartment. 

- - - - - -

An unfortunate thing about living in RQS's area is that delivery people often screw up deliveries for some unknown reason. RQS lives at an address which should be easy to find, such as "12-34 1234 Street".  Often, the lummox that is doing the delivery will either deliver to the wrong street or the wrong address on her street.  In one case, a post office delivery was made to a house 1/2 mile away.  She was lucky that the person who received her package delivered the package to RQS - even though she didn't have to do so.

Why is this important?

RQS often has expensive things delivered to my place.  But we can't control food delivery.  We ordered some Halal food (I love Chicken and Lamb combos from NYC Halal carts), and it was dropped off at some unknown apartment nearby.  As a result, we ended up having Pizza - something that RQS was not in the mood to eat that day.

- - - - - -

Saturday came, and we ended up going to a movie called "Bad Apples".  It is a story about a teacher and an extremely disruptive young boy.  In the process of trying to get his dad to do the minimum to help his son, the situation escalates to a point where the teacher kidnaps the boy and keeps him imprisoned in her basement, while she (and the rest of her students) blossoms in her classroom.  Do I recommend this film?  Wholeheartedly!  Yet, I'd have made one change - I'd have allowed the movie to have some closure that it doesn't have.  (I'm not giving away the ending, but I'd have cut out the final scene.) 

When we got home from the movie, RQS cooked some salmon.  I wish I could have had more.  But she buys human portions...  

- - - - - -

Sunday was a day doing much of nothing - it was raining out, and the last thing we wanted to do was go out to the bodega down the street in the rain. It was a day where we watched old movies on Amazon Prime, and I introduced her to a pleasant movie I found online - "Saving Grace".  Since I never got dressed, I still had to figure out a way to make sure that my car was parked on the correct side of the street to not be ticketed.  So, I went to Google Maps' Street view and look at the photographed street signs.  And, I was both lucky and right - I could stay parked until Tuesday at 8 am.

It's nice to be able to sleep late when I'm at RQS's place for the weekend.  

Getting together with my niece for lunch

 

No, this is not my niece.  But it is a drawing of a pretty woman who was "hid" in many of an artist's drawings.  Today, RQS and I met my niece in Manhattan and went to one of my favorite Indian restaurants.

Since my car was left in a good parking spot over the weekend, I didn't have to take my morning shower until 10:30.  And then I proceeded to get made up, dressed, and ready to go into "the city".  We started walking to the nearby subway station at noon, and saw a bus coming by.  RQS checked the schedule and found another coming 3 minutes later.  So, we took the bus to a different subway station, and didn't have to climb any stairs.

Just as we were getting off the subway, my niece called to tell us she was at the restaurant.  5 minutes later, we were there, and I could barely recognize her with her sunglasses on.  As much as we loved the food in this place, the service was very slow.  We were there for the better part of 3 hours.  Luckily, the conversation was going well, the weather outside was perfect, and I was ready to drop a couple of "C-Notes" on lunch.

 

A little bit before 4, my niece had to make it back to Long Island, and we had to make it to Queens.  We got to RQS's place around 5, and I was able to rest until 6:45 when I started my drive home.  When I got home, I found the dress and T-Shirt I ordered from Ulla Popken, and put it on.  It looks nice, and I'll be getting much use out of it as the weather gets cooler.

One bit of bad news - Medicare turned me down for the bridge program.  I guess I'll have to wait until 2028 for my GLP-1 drugs to start being covered. 

I didn't have much to do today, and I did all ot it well....

 

As I write this, it's a Thursday evening, and my dinner is cooking in the toaster oven.  It's a late dinner for me, but it's better than spending even more money on "fast" food that isn't nutritious. 

- - - - - -

When I got up today, I wasn't sure if I wanted to work on my cruise blog, straighten up the mess in my apartment, or just sit around watching YouTube videos on the TV.  So, what did I do?  Pay bills, of course - all of them!  (I'm usually a month ahead in paying my bills, so the figure representing my monthly expenses plus a set of tires was expected.)  But it still hurts to see a temporary negative cash flow now and then. 

Eventually, I wanted to go out and take care of some things.  One thing I wanted to do is see if a particular dress is in stock at Kohl's - and when I went there, I couldn't find it in the store.  That's not a big deal, as I started to look at my winter wardrobe that I'll soon migrate into my closet.  Next, it was over to Home Depot to find some Command strip hooks that I could fasten to my garbage can, and hook the ties from  my garbage bags, so the bags don't fall into the can.  No luck again.  And then, it was over to BJ's to get some walking in.  And that's where I found the Command strip hooks I needed, along with some other items I'll be using (antiperspirant and ladies' shaving razors). 

Arriving home, I put perishables into the refrigerator, then did my thing with the garbage can - and it worked!  At least, I can say I accomplished something small today.

- - - - - -

They say that tomorrow will be a warmer day.  So I guess I'm glad that I didn't put away all of my summer dresses yet. 

Now that I can't go on an impromptu cruise, now what?

 

Now that I do not have a valid passport, how do I sate my need for novelty?  After 25+ cruises, one would think that I'd be finding cruise life a bit mundane.  Yet, the break from my everyday routines always makes me apprehensive at first, then recharges me once I'm on a ship.  In many ways, it's like going into NYC for a museum run or to the theater - a little bit of a headache to start, and then wonderfully rewarding.

- - - - - -

As I write this, I have a YouTube video on in the background: Emma (from Emma Cruises) reviewing her most recent cruise on Virgin Voyages.  This is reminding me of a cruise I could have taken this weekend, but didn't feel healthy enough to have booked at the time.  It is also reminding me that I won't be able to take any cruises while my passport renewal application is being processed.  

So, how will I sate my craving to break out of my normal routines?

Tonight, I am going with my friend Vicki to attend a concert by a fellow performing tunes by Paul Simon, Jim Croce, and James Taylor. Although I have never heard of Tom Glynn before, I immediately became interested in this performer because of a snippet of a Jim Croce song.  He is the first person I've heard who can do justice to Jim's songs (other then the late Jim Croce) in a long while - and that includes Jim's son, A.J. Croce.

Over the next few weeks, RQS will be going to dinners with a few of our friends.  But that's not enough to sate my cravings for travel.  So, I might try to squeeze in a trip between the holidays - just to get away from the humdrum routines of everyday life.  But where would I go?  It's too cold to bother with Chicago.  Boston and Philadelphia are places I'd want to visit in the Spring, and DC is off limits until our dysfunctional regime is ousted from power via the ballot box.  All of my travels must be domestic for now, and I don't see this changing until December.

 

I finally got out today, and I got some of what would not be bad news for normal people

 

This morning, I found that I had to go out as Mario, so that I could get passport photos that would pass muster for getting a renewed passport.  After I got the photo, I found that the photographer was way too close to me, and that the government's AI couldn't process the image.  (There's $18 down the tubes!)  Later, when I reprocessed a picture that the AI couldn't find my eyes (it claimed they were closed), it found the eyes and accepted the image.  Go figure. Once done with the photos, I chatted with the photographer and showed her pictures of me as Marian.  She couldn't believe it.  So, I may drop back to the store as Marian and see if she remembers me from the day before.

- - - - - -

 

I rested for most of the day, save for the period where I chatted with my financial planner.  It was a long talk about things of interest, including Chris Ferguson going "All In" at the WSOP (World Series of Poker) with three 6's and a pair of 8's.   There was only one have that could beat him, and it was three 8's with a pair of 6's.  And the other fellow had that in his hand.  As Ferguson was leaving the table, one of the fans watching the game said to Ferguson, "Jesus should know better than to go 'All In' with the devil's hand."  (Ferguson's nickname is "Jesus", as he once had a longer beard and looked just like the image of Jesus depicted in many pictures.)

 

Around 6 pm, I got made up and dressed as Marian and went out to go food shopping.  One problem - I had to get something to eat.  And I found an outlet of a sushi restaurant, where all dishes are presented to the diner on a conveyor belt. RQS and I have eaten at Kura before.  So I knew that the food would be safe.  But the bill would add up quickly.  And that it did.   Once done, it was over to Lidl for food shopping.  Total cost for this trip - $115.  Yet, it was worth it to have had a nice variety of sushi and an inexpensive supermarket run.

- - - - - -

On the way home, I chatted with my brother.  Politically, we are on opposite sides, and I can't see many of his claims that businesses are investing in America again, and that we're rebuilding our manufacturing base.  Nor can I justify the war with Iran, that he supports wholeheartedly. Could he be right?  I doubt it, but I don't claim to read as many news sources as he does.  (I'll bet he's BS'ing me, but doesn't want to admit it.)  If we weren't brothers, I doubt that we'd want to know each other.

But what would be good news for most people, and bad for me?  Well, I had planned a Marian mode weekend with RQS, and then meet my niece (and her hubby) in NYC for dinner.  My brother was thinking of getting my niece, my nephew, himself, RQS and I together for dinner.  That would kill a weekend spent as Marian.  AARGH 

Now, to contact my niece and see what she thinks.... 

Sometimes, computer systems don't work as expected

 

This past weekend, I tried to place an order with Ulla Popken for a Corduroy Jumper and a white T-shirt that I can wear together as an outfit.  Each time I tried to log into their official site, I got the above error.  Yet, when I tried to purchase the garments as a guest, I was successful.  Weird!

I think something has changed with Popken's US site that hasn't affected its European sites.  So, I decided to look for someone to contact, and I found a German Headquarters site I could write to.  I did this, and got a reply in German.  (Not a big deal for me.  But I'm hoping my message gets conveyed to the person in charge of the US site, someone who should know some English.

- - - - - -

I've seen problems like the above many a time.  AI may make it possible to test system changes much better than they are tested now, as well as make them much more secure than they are now.  And here lies the problem.  Our president has laid off many of the people in charge of information security for the US Government.  And this has likely resulted in hackers getting sensitive employee data from FBI files.

Consider that Iran has a "Military" division dedicated to computer hacking, and one can see that America's reliance on private institutions to alone protect our country from harm is likely misguided if our government can't protect itself from major data breaches.  We've seen key elements of our infrastructure attacked, and we don't know how far the hackers have gotten into their systems, nor do we know how much control they have over these systems.  Can anyone feel safe right now?  I certainly don't.

- - - - - -

I'm praying that America can survive until January 20, 2029, when hopefully, a saner regime can come to power and start to fix what our current president broke in his 80 y/o man child tantrums. 

Passport renewal, and cascading paperwork issues.

 

I'm glad that I can now update my passport and renew my global entry card online.  The online process does not require me to surrender my old passport.  But it does make the old passport invalid as soon as I hit the final "Enter Key".  This would not be an issue for me, save that it limits my choice of cruises, as I can't book anything new until I receive my new passport book.  

But this isn't the last thing I need to do with this ID.  My Global Entry information (think of TSA PreCheck with extra return privileges for international flights) has to be updated with the new passport book number, as well as information held by each of my cruise lines.  Of course, I'll soon be dealing with Airlines as well, so that they all have my new Trusted Traveler Number (TTN).  And then, I'll have to apply for both a new UK ETA and an EU ETIAS for next year's Iceland cruise.

And all of this is needed, so that I, as a US citizen, can travel "freely".  But I expect to have more complications for international travel, as I will likely have a second passport from another country by the time I travel "across the pond."  Yes, I know that I must use my US Passport when entering and leaving the US.  But the airlines will have to transmit correct information to both the US and both the UK and EU when I travel overseas.  This is going to get confusing at first.  But I will have resources I can count on before I travel.

- - - - - -

It was an important thing that I took care of applying for the Foreign Birth Registry (FBR) when I did, as my citizenship by descent is likely grandfathered under the old rules.  My brother has his FBR paperwork, and can now apply for his second passport he can use when visiting his daughter.  Assuming I'm lucky, I'll have my FBR paperwork by year end, and will be able to apply for the second passport.

I still worry about what our president will do to stay in power.  It's well known that he's weakened America's election system, the national security apparatus, as well as destroying one of the best militaries in the world.  Will I be able to stay safe until I have the papers I need to leave the US for good if needed?  That, and other questions, inquiring minds want to have answered. 

Parting is such wet sorrow

 

OK, "Wet" doesn't describe today's weather.  Yes, it drizzled most of the day.  But I can't say that I got wet.

- - - - - -

My plans for the day were to drop RQS off at the train station, and then to get new tires put on my car.  Neither of us had a good sleep the night before, as I was waking RQS up with my restless sleep.  So, both of us were tired when we got up.

I was up an hour before RQS, and could have easily fallen to sleep by the time RQS got moving - an hour later than usual for a Monday.  This was a day that I was "forced" to present as Mario, as I'd be dealing with folks at the tire store later on.   

Both of us were interested in reports of the rainfall from the Nor'easter, as we had seen a video showing that the parking lot at the local train station was flooded the day before.  Luckily, by the time we got there today, most of the flooding had subsided, and RQS was able to make it home without incident.

- - - - - -

After a brief stop home, I drove to the tire shop to buy 4 new tires and to get my wheels aligned.  I knew NOT to buy Original Factory Equipment tires, as they were both overpriced and underperforming.  The old tires may have lasted to 40k miles at most, while my new tires are rated for 80k miles.  And, the new tires were less expensive as well.  But there was 1 problem - 1 of the 4 tires in stock had a minor defect.  (The fellow behind the desk played down the nature of the defect, but the way he worded it implied that the tire might have been a problem in an accident investigation.)  So, they had to get a tire delivered from a sister store about 30 minutes away.  This meant that a store visit that should have lasted 90-120 minutes lasted an extra 90 minutes for the tire to arrive.

- - - - - -

Around 5:15, I was on my way home, and took a much needed nap.  It was a long day, yet not one where I exerted much effort doing anything.  At least, I'll be able to spend time as Marian tomorrow. 

In spite of the storm

 

On most weekends, RQS comes up on Friday afternoons.  Last weekend, she came up on Thursday so that we could go to the Dion concert together.  This weekend, she was scheduled to come up on Saturday so that she could see a friend from her former place at work for lunch on Saturday.  There is one glitch that factored into everything - the Nor'easter coming up the East Coast today.

- - - - - -

In the early afternoon, I started the day by looking at all the shoes I've accumulated over the years, and found myself creating another donation bag for a local charity. After a carbohydrate loaded lunch, I was a little sluggish, and would have liked to sleep instead of picking RQS up at the station.  Instead, I got showered, made up and dressed - ready to pick up RQS at the appointed time.

5:00 pm came, and I was off to meet RQS.  From there, we took a long drive on a rainy day, and went to one of our favorite Chinese restaurants.  The place was unusually busy with people waiting for take out orders and with Door Dashers waiting for takeaway for people who ordered their food for online delivery. As for us, we enjoyed a nice meal onsite, and then went to the ice cream shop next door for a sweet treat.

- - - - - -

Sunday came, and the storm wasn't as bad as it could have been up here.  The wind was blowing, the ground was wet, but one would never have known a Nor'easter came through the region.  Yet, if one looks at its effects on the NYC metropolitan area, and one would see a different scene.

A Tik Tok poster had a video taken at my local train station, and I was surprised to find that Commuter Train service was running.  RQS and I will see if the trains are running on Monday.

- - - - - -

We stayed in all day, and had Pasta with Mussels for dinner.  Yum.   It was a nice way to spend a gloomy day.  And we were able to schedule social engagements for the next few weeks.  Couple this with the two of us sorting through some of the clutter in my place, and I can say we accomplished things that have been postponed as well.

Monday will be a busy day for us, so it was good to have a Jammie Day today....