As a lark, I contacted someone I once knew

 

The other day, I sent out texts to several people I hadn't heard from in months, if not years.  And I was surprised to hear from one of these people.

Maria #2 and I met via a dating app, but we already knew we were going to be friends and not lovers.  (She was out of my league in many ways.  But she did tell me some things about living near XGFJ.  But that's another story for another day.)  Maria got busy with her life and had no room in her life for a friendship at that time.

Two years later, I reach out to her to say hello, and found out that she and her boyfriend (now husband) had moved to Ireland.  When he lived here, he was the immigrant looking to become a citizen.  Now, she's the immigrant looking to become a citizen.  Amazing, huh?  Yet, with the political shit storm generated by the Orange Monster and the GOP, it makes perfect sense to leave the USA.

- - - - - -

Right now, I wonder if anyone is tracking all of the crimes being committed by the flunkies loyal to the monster.  The monster has given his Brown Shirts and Black Shirts effective immunity for the murders they have committed under the guise of enforcing immigration laws. We've seen them lie about their actions, with upper political echelons protecting these animals.  It is unsafe for virtually all immigrants to stay in this country now, and it is becoming unsafe for the native born as well.

RQS senses that I may have to leave the US if the monster if not checked soon.  But where can I go?  I'm too old to start a new career.  I'd have to worry about moving my money out of the US, so that I could have a comfortable retirement.  Yet, if I have to do so, I will.  At least, I know where to start finding resources to make this possible. 

Game Night - with a little celebration

 

 

OK - I'll explain about the celebration in a few....

But first, I'll describe the day.

Since I'll need to present as Mario on Monday and Tuesday, I held off on doing my own nails to prepare for the coming weekend.  Instead, I decided to sleep late, and then fold 2 loads of laundry from last night.  By the time I was done with things in the apartment, it was getting close to 5 pm, and I had to get ready to go to game night.

By now, I have my routine down pat to prepare myself to present as Marian.  First, I shower, making sure to shave as much of my body as possible.  Then, I prepare for my makeup routine and let my undercoat dry.  After I shave my face, it's time to put on my underwear, bra and falsies and start applying makeup.  I'm usually done in 15 minutes at this point, but sometimes I take more care to get everything right. Once done with my makeup, I spritz on some perfume, put on a dress, and am ready to put my wig on just before leaving the house.

I left the house around 6:50. and headed to Yonkers for game night.  There is a Mickey D's along the way that I'll often stop at.  But there's one problem I have to deal with - there is no left turn into Mickey D's driveway.  So, I usually make the left turn into a skating rink's parking lot so I can make a right turn into Mickey D's.  Well, there was some police activity at the skating rink, as there were 4 police cars in front of the door.  There was no way I was going to hang out here - even if I wanted to.  I drove through Mickey D's, picked up "dinner" and finished my drive to game night.

Game night was fun, even though I lost both games.  There were the 3 of us girls at our table (me the only TG), and we had a chance to chat.  One game selected the starting player by birth date - and this made me the starting player.  When the games wound down, we chatted loosely on current events, all of us having had fun watching Iran's Lego Block propaganda videos.  

Around 10, I left game night and drove home talking to RQS.  She has booked her trip to see her sister.  So, I can now book my cruise to Bermuda.  (Now to find some extra cash to pay for the cruise.)  My big question: Will I take the chance on traveling as Marian this time? 

We've hit the middle of the year. How quickly time has passed.

 

God, how I could have born to be the happy woman in this picture.  Alas, I was born with the wrong chromosome mix, and could not ever look as good as this idealized version of myself.  At least, I didn't have to deal with mood swings, monthlies, pregnancies, or any of the problems unique to a cisgender female.  And I would never have met RQS - that would have been a great loss.

When I look at today's politics, I see women's rights under attack around the world.  In some cultures, its a religious patriarchy that subjugates women.  In others, it's social values which insist that a woman must be subordinate to a man.  And in nations like the USA, women are under attack - and many don't see what's happening.

In the past few years, the US Supreme Court has effectively eliminated a woman's right to control her own body.  Some states are making it illegal for a woman to travel from her home state to get an abortion in a state where it's legal, putting the woman at risk of legal persecution if her home state's government finds out.  These states are attempting to prevent out of state sources from sending in drugs which can induce abortions, and will force a woman to carry a rapist's child if she becomes pregnant.

America's attack on women started with several religious fundamentalists seeing a chance to gain power by using Americans' strong religious beliefs (especially in what we call "Red States").  Trusted leaders easily manipulate people who only think in 2-3 second sound bites, getting them agitated in ways that they are willing to elect authoritarian leaders to impose their cultural values on those who don't agree with them.  And guess who benefits?  Not the common person.  Not society as a whole.  But, only the people manipulating the masses.

- - - - - -

Why did I start off sounding like a history teacher?  Well, the Orange Monster's attack on Transgenders is in full swing.  And I'm thinking of doing a peaceful act of rebellion - taking a short cruise as Marian.  I'm tired of obedience to a norm that the people did not choose.  Only by standing up for our rights, can we survive this hateful administration. 

But the choice of taking this cruise depends on RQS visiting her sister.  I would be booking this cruise ONLY if she decides to fly to Florida.  I'm not sure yet of what will happen.  But it'll be nice to get back on a ship again.

Thankfully, it was cool - but warm enough for a nice dress

 

The next time the weather gets hot, I may finally again get to wear the dress in the above picture.  It's comfortable.  It's lightweight, and it is very prone to developing wrinkles after a few minutes of wear. But today, I wore something slightly more substantial - a dress I got from Kohl's this year.

- - - - - -

Last night, I didn't get much sleep.  So, when the alarm sounded, I shut it off and woke up an hour later.  Looking at my phone, I saw a message from Vicki #2 - she was available for lunch.  But I wouldn't be ready in time. So I messaged her to say I couldn't make it, and proceeded to take care of little things, such as dealing with my cable TV box.

When I sat down to deal with the cable TV box, I was pleasantly surprised - the cable company dealt with my problem overnight, and I hope it stays "dealt with".  So, I then relaxed for a while before deciding to get dressed and go to Costco for some retail therapy.  (Nothing I bought wouldn't be put to use.  So, it was money reasonably well spent.) While driving home, I chatted with my brother.  The bank has approved our buyers' mortgage, and we're waiting on a date from their bank for the closing.  I can't wait for the sale of the family homestead to go through, as it will be nice to have extra funds in my bank account.

At home, I sent out the link for next week's Co-Op board Zoom Meeting, then chatted with TCL and RQS before getting around to cooking dinner (a shrimp concoction from Trader Joe's which I will likely not buy again.).  And finally, I got down to writing this blog entry to close out the day. 

A day spent as Mario - AARGH!

 

I had several errands to do in Mario mode today, and I ended up putting on a pair of trousers for the first time in over a week.  AARGH!  

But first....

It started as Mondays usually do for us when RQS is at my place.  I woke up first, and let the alarm clock wake RQS up.  It was much cooler this morning than it was yesterday, so I was glad to have a clean long sleeved shirt to wear for the day.  Around 11:15, I dropped RQS off at the train station, and stopped for a bit to clean my wiper blades.  And then it was off to Ossining to take care of some errands.

First, I stopped by my bank to have a replacement credit card reissued.  (The old card expired, and I never received a new one.)  This was the first place where I needed to present as Mario.  After a few minutes at the bank, the teller ordered a new card for me, and updated an incorrect phone number on file.  (I was glad to have my drivers license on me.)

My next stop was the cable TV store where I exchanged my cable box for a working one.  (Unfortunately, I didn't decide to test it until late in the evening.)  I had decided not to stop by a second bank in the same strip mall to see if I could get an account type changed to one not charging service fees.  I was more in the mood to go home and relax.

Late in the evening, I called the cable company regarding the box.  It needed a technician ID to complete the setup process - and they couldn't help me because key staff had already gone home for the evening.  Now, I have to call back in the morning to get help.  AARGH!  (If they have 24 hour tech support, why couldn't they have someone on call for problems like this?)

At least, if I can get the cable box set up tomorrow without a technician's visit, I'll be back to presenting as Marian until the end of next weekend....  

The Heat Wave is breaking and we finally were able to see a movie!

 

Yesterday, we missed seeing this film because all seats were sold out.  Today, we did the smart thing and bought our tickets several hours before showtime.  

But first....

We woke up early, and made sure that the air conditioners were still running at full blast.  Although the weather wasn't going to be as bad as it has been for the past few days, it was still going to be hot.  So we took it easy until 2 pm, and were out the door for a 4 pm arrival time at the theater.  

This would be the last time I'd be wearing a dress for the next couple of days, as I had to schedule my presentation as Mario for tomorrow's errands.  So, I pulled out another Flax dress from my closet and made sure I'd be comfortable outside.  We arrived at the theater a little before 4, and we were among the first to be there.  Even though "Peter Asher - Everywhere Man" was not at the top of RQS's list of films to see, she was glad to see this film after seeing how this man had connections to so many people in the entertainment industry from childhood on.

When the movie let out, it was time to go home for the night.  I was glad to get back into my jammies and be comfortable for the rest of the evening.  It was just as well that we didn't go out again later on, as a storm came in which cooled things off - finally!

Fourth Day of the heatwave - July 4th

 

Today, we ended up deciding to brave the heat to go out to a movie. It's not because we wanted to go out in this heat.  Instead, it was because we didn't want to deal with an apartment that couldn't be kept cool enough for comfort.

- - - - - -

Both of us woke up around 10 am, and finished breakfast around noon.  There was a movie I wanted to see playing at the local "Art House" and we got showered, dressed, and out the door to make it to Pleasantville in time for the movie.  One problem: too many other people had the same idea as we did, and the movie was already sold out by the time we arrived at the ticket office.

So, what did we do instead?  Well, it was off to a diner for some predictable grub.  Because of the holiday, there was almost no one at the diner.  But it was a comfortable place to eat, even though the selections on the menu were underwhelming.  (Next time, we'll choose somewhere else to have a bite to eat.)

I was glad I was in Marian Mode today, as all I had on was my wig and a short dress (and the usual underwear) - the less I could wear, the more comfortable I could be.  RQS was also dressed for the heat.  And comfort was the word for the day.  Once we were done with dinner, it was off to Trader Joe's (it was closed) and then to the local Stop & Shop.  

Now that we had finally picked up food for tomorrow, it was time to go home for the night.  I'm glad we didn't stay out longer, as thunderstorms rolled into the area around dusk.  Hopefully, we'll soon have relief from this weather pattern soon....

Third day, worse than the first (a short post)

The above is not the kind of "Hot Dog" one usually eats on the July 4th weekend.  But, this year, it might be too hot outside to put anything on the grill today.

= = = = = =

With temperatures expected to reach over 100 degrees today, the last thing on our minds would be to go outside in this heat.  Instead, we stayed inside watching movies on TV.  Around 4 pm, the outside heat overwhelmed the AC and it became uncomfortable inside.

In short, this was a Jammie Day, and I don't have anything much worth saying.  Hopefully, this heat wave will break before the weekend is over.

- - - - - -

Sorry for the short post, but we're having electricity issues in my county today.

The second day of the heatwave - more brutal than the first.

I hate hot weather with a passion.  And when the thermometer reaches 104 degrees, not even my apartment's A/C couldn't keep up with the heat from outside.  At least, my car's A/C could keep up with the heat - even when doing a drive which averages 37+ mph.  But I digress.

- - - - - -

The day opened up slowly, and I didn't get moving until 1 pm.  RQS wouldn't be arriving until 7, so I had time to do some minimal cleanup in the apartment.  By the time I was ready to go out, it was 4 pm, and my task was to pick up lobsters.  ShopRite had them on sale, and we take advantage of these sales at least once every season.  So off to the nearby store for me, and they only had 1 lobster left.  That would not be enough for 2 people.  The man behind the counter suggested that I try the store in Mohegan Lake - which I did.  The lobster tank was full, and I came home with 5 lobsters and a newly emptied wallet.  (I went to the ATM on the way home to refresh my money supply.)  Once home, the lobsters went into the ice box, and I found the equipment needed to steam the critters to perfection.,

RQS arrived at 7:15, and she had forgotten her medicine at home.  Instead of doing without, I said we could make a drive to Queens much later in the evening.  So, we proceeded home and started to cook the lobsters.  In this heat, boiling or steaming lobsters would be a big mistake, as it adds way too much heat to my top floor apartment.  But the savings from eating in vs. eating out at a local restaurant made this splurge worthwhile.

- - - - - -

When the clock struck 10, we got moving and drove to Queens.  Normally, getting to RQS's place takes roughly 2 hours.  Tonight, with minimal traffic, it took just a little more than an hour.  Yet, it was a little scary, as I noticed that I was a little tired and not at the top of my driving game.  Couple this with an excessive number of people driving like they were in a NASCAR event, and it could have been a recipe for disaster. (There were unlicensed motorbikes weaving through traffic on the urban parkways, as well as souped up cars zig-zagging through narrow gaps between cars on the suburban roads.)  Even RQS was shocked about how crazy the roads were on the drive down and back.  After a 10 minute stop at RQS's place, we returned home without incident. And even though I was legally speeding on the full trip down and back, the car got 37 mpg.  

Arriving home before 1 am, we noticed that the A/C had finally cooled off the apartment.  We'll have to depend on foods that don't depend on stove top or oven cooking this weekend if we want to stay cool.  So, I'm hoping for this heatwave to break soon!    

The first of 5 days in Mother Nature's Sauna

 

As I write this, Independence Day is still a day or two away.  And yet, I have things to do to prepare for the long weekend that require that I leave the comfort of my apartment and brave the 100 degree heat outside.  Knowing that RQS is coming up makes things a little worse, as I don't want her to suffer heatstroke on her trip to see me, nor do I want the headaches of dealing with the heat.  But this "brave little girl" will do so, simply because it's the right thing to do.

- - - - - -

The day started off with me lying in bed when the A/C shut off.  No, there was no problem with the A/C.  Instead, the fan turned off because the desired temperature was reached.  At that point, there was no going back to sleep for me.  Yet, there was a great reluctance to do anything while the temperature outside was tolerable enough for light outside activities.  It would have been nice to put on one of my exercise dresses and take a walk today.  (Maybe I can do that tomorrow morning.)

After wasting much of the day time, I took a shower, did my makeup, got dressed, and took some garbage outside.  (I didn't want the cardboard box and packing materials from my new chair to get in the way any longer than needed.)  Then, I took a drive, not caring about the destination - I simply wanted to get out of the house. A half hour later, I found myself at Trader Joe's looking for some foodstuffs that would justify my drive.  

Once done at TJ's, it was back home for the night.  It was nice to get out again as Marian, and I wish I didn't have to change back to Mario as often as I've needed to lately.  At least, today's hot weather justified wearing one of my more comfortable summer dresses. 

According to the weatherman, when the temperature is hot....

Although I had only one thing on the docket for today, it almost got totally screwed up.  So let me start from the beginning, and explain why the temperature made a difference in things.

- - - - - -

Today, I was scheduled to see a friend I once dated, but both of agreed we'd make better friends than lovers.  Like RQS, this woman, VW, is an LCSW.  (Free therapy!  😇)  Being serious, I don't interact with any of my friends in their professional capacities with one exception - Maria, who will notarize paperwork for me.  Both of us had agreed on a place to eat, but we made one mistake - we didn't make sure that the restaurant was open on Tuesdays.  So, I suggested a fallback - a local buffet.  After doing some shopping at the "Dollar Store", I went and checked whether the buffet was open - it wasn't.  So, I called VW again, and we decided to meet at a nearby "Red Sauce" joint that I knew would likely be open.

I got to the "Red Sauce" joint before VW, and I decided to go indoors as it was starting to get too warm to eat out on the patio.  Yet, indoors wasn't as cool as I'd like, as the doors to the outside were opening and closing way too often for the A/C to catch up.  We had a nice chat, and we agreed to meet towards the end of July, when I'd introduce her to RQS.  The two of us had to leave around 3 pm, VW to ick up her dog at the vet, and me because I might need a bio-break in a hurry.

- - - - - -

Once home, I rested for a bit, then decided to tackle the assembly of my new chair.  It's a 1.25 person job, but I was able to do it alone.  Once done, I tried to get the chair inside my bedroom.  But the chair was too wide.  So, I had to get creative to get it in the bedroom and put it by my desk.

Tomorrow, I will need to get dressed, only to take the box the chair came in out to the dumpster, along with some garbage that I need out of the apartment.  Hopefully, I'll wake up early enough to do this before the temperature gets unbearably hot.  (They expect us to be in a 100+ degree heat bubble for the next 5 days.  And I don't intend to go out much until the bubble breaks.) 

Delivery of an unassembled chair (a short post.)

 

As I've often stated, directly and indirectly, I weigh too much.  And the chair by my computer desk is starting to be unsafe to sit in.  So, I broke down and ordered a new chair this past weekend for delivery today.

But first....

RQS was scheduled to go home today.  So, we both got up early and got out the door by 11:20 for a 11:42 train.  (I was running late, and it would have been much easier if I had chosen to go out as Mario.  But I wasn't in the mood to spend a hot summer's day NOT wearing a dress.)  Since I didn't know when my chair would be delivered, I stayed dressed while at home and fell back into semi-consciousness waiting for the chair to be delivered.  Well, I didn't need to stay home waiting for the chair - it was delivered to my door, no one even knocking to see if I was at home.

When I got the message that the chair was delivered, I moved it inside and told RQS that the chair was here and that I might not assemble it tonight.  Then, I decided to rest for a while, and later went out to the supermarket after things cooled off outside.  Now, I have enough food in the ice box to tide me over until RQS returns later in the week.

It was mostly a "nothing burger" of a day.  But I was able to stay in Marian Mode again, which always pleases me. 

A visit to see a Big Boy

 

The Big Boy was at Steamtown for 2 weeks, and we decided to visit the site on the third to last day it would be on site.  There would be a long drive ahead of us, but this would be our last chance to see the last operational Big Boy before it leaves for Philadelphia to celebrate America's 250th birthday.

But first....

RQS and I decided not to go to church today.  It would be a no-brainer for us, as the church is not air-conditioned, and we wanted to be as comfortable as possible before arriving at Steamtown.  Waking up at 9 am, we were out the door by 11:30, knowing that we'd be on the road for 2.5 hours.  It would be an exhausting drive for me, but I didn't know it before I started out.

Normally, I avoid the "Goat Path" (a twisting mountainside road near me) leading to the Bear Mountain Bridge.  Today, I had to take this road to the bridge, and then take a long, boring drive along the Interstate to reach Scranton, PA.  There are very few landmarks between Middletown, NY and Scranton, PA, and I was driving with only 5 hours of sleep.  It was an effort to stay awake, as I needed to walk around to keep my blood flowing and make sure that I'd have the energy to finish this 125 mile drive.  But, we made it to Steamtown by 2 pm.

One can usually enter the park without reservations, and unlike many Federal Historic sited, without an admission fee. (Steamtown's management decided NOT to charge admission fees, as 85% of these fees would go into the collective Federal budget.  Instead, Steamtown gains revenue by selling excursion rides on steam trains, where they get to keep 100% of the ticket sales.)  I remembered to buy tickets ($1.00/pp) for this event, and I was able to drive into the park after showing my ticket.  And then the fun began....

I was a little over dressed for the day (wearing a shrug to cover my shoulders) so I was very warm while at the park.  Since there was a 300' line to go inside the engineer's compartment of the Big Boy on permanent display, we decided to first go to the main building and see the exhibits there. Following that, we went outside to see the Big Boy that would be here until month-end.  We spent 90 minutes at a museum to see a living relic, a machine built in 1941 that was brought back to life by a corporation who wanted to preserve its heritage.  We consider ourselves lucky, as this would be the only time in my life that 2 Big Boys would be in the same place at the same time.  Sadly, this might be only time this great locomotive might get this far east, and it was well worth the effort to get here to see it being prepared for its next move.

Around 3:45, we were back on the road again, and I heard a weird noise coming from my car.  Could something have gotten stuck in a tire?  Who knows?  But it was Sunday, and I didn't want to call AAA for roadside help, and then have to make it back home with either a "Donut" (temporary use tire) or by other means of transit.  Instead, I kept my car in motion for 2 hours until we crossed the Hudson river.  The noise had thankfully gone away on the trip back, and we were able to fill up the gas tank and stop for dinner before driving the final 30 minutes to my house.

It was a long day, but well worth the effort to get out of the house. 

 

Steamtown's "Big Boy" #4012 Videos: 

Big Boy #4012 Cab Tour

Big Boy #4012 on Turntable 

Big Boy #4012 Returning To Exhibition

 

PS: The song for today is Harry Chapin's "30,000 pounds of Bananas."  Anyone who has driven in to Scranton on one of the long hills coming in to town will understand why I bring up this tune. 

 

Summer's here, and I'm sort of ready for it

 

Well, being ready for summer depends on what one means by being ready.  For me, I have all of my summer dresses on hand, and I'm ready to wear them throughout the Summer.  In my case, I have way too many dresses in my closet, and I have to prune them to have a more manageable collection.

- - - - - -

Years ago, my late wife was a compulsive buyer of clothes.  They were packed in the closet so tightly, that she didn't need a clothes rod to keep them off the floor.  As much as I'll always miss her, I don't miss much of what she brought into my life.  We had our problems, and I don't miss any of them.  Whether or not our marriage would have survived had she survived her cancer, I'll never know.  But I do know that my instinct to freshen my wardrobe causes me to be aware of how much I have in my closets, and how much I have to prune from them.

Now that I'm out and about as Marian, I occasionally wonder what my late wife would think of me.  Would we be sharing outfits?  (We were the same size before her cancer caused her extreme weight loss.)  There is no way to know this.  I hope she's be as accepting as RQS has been of me.

- - - - - -

Once the Orange Monster is gone from power, I wonder what the US government's policy will be towards transgender people.  Will the next government continue his crazy policies if the GOP is elected?  Or, will the Democrats be able to erase all of his transgressions against civil society as a whole?  Either way, I intend to go back to traveling as Marian again, and to live my life as my authentic self.

Game Night (a short post)

 

When I was young, I loved playing Monopoly.  Although I haven't played the game in over 50 years, I still have an affinity for the game.

- - - - - -

Tonight, it was my first trip to Yonkers for games in at least a month, and I had a great time.  Although the games we play are modern, and not any of the ones I played while young, I am glad that I played this game as a child.

Am I good at these games?  No!  It's hard for me to play with any strategy in mind.  That part of my brain has withered from lack of continued use.  If you don't exercise selected skill sets, they become weak.  today, I'm more of a tactician than a strategist when playing games.  It's just as well.  It's not like I need to be a good game player when there are so many other things I must spend mental energy on.

 

What was interesting about tonight was one comment made my evening.  One of the gang who has seen me a million times paid me a compliment for wearing the above dress.  It is very comfortable and hides many of my worst "assets".

Although I have the same dress in two different prints, I'm glad I have all three in my closet.  They all make me feel good, and make me glad that I "outed" myself to be able to live the life I want to live.
 

Politics - Poli = Greek for Many, Tics = Flesh Eating Insects.

 

I don't care what they have to say.  It makes no difference anyway.  Whatever it is, I'm against it.

- - - - - -

Groucho Marx was an interesting comedian.  Although he died almost 50 years ago, and his heyday was in the 1920's,  his anarchic view of the world still is an influence in my life.  Only Groucho could say: "I once shot an elephant in my pajamas.  What he was doing in my pajamas, I'll never know."  It's that weird way of looking at things that still help me to think out of the box.

Lately, I've been watching the news and wondering why news reporters don't hold the Orange Monster to account.  And I realize that they are so afraid of the monster, that they let him get away with everything.  Yet, in about 20 years, I'll bet that someone does a comedic take on the monster and his cronies.  We are way too close to history being made for anyone to satirize the monster the way Chaplin satirized Hitler in The Great Dictator. With this being said, it's a shame that Groucho (and his brothers) aren't around anymore, as only someone like Groucho could put the monster in his place with witticisms coming too quick for the monster to deflect. 

Slowly, we're seeing some Republicans start pushing back against the monster.  But not enough to show that the dam will break, and they will actively push him out of power.  Until this happens, things will keep getting worse before they start getting better.

- - - - - -

Now, we're starting to see the Democrats finding ways to take the offensive.  Recently, they worked with the GOP to get a housing bill bassed with veto-proof majorities.  Yet, just before the bill was to be signed, the monster decided not to sign the bill.  Assuming there is no veto, the bill will become law, and the Democrats will have a cudgel to beat up on the GOP.

Politics is a nasty game, and this is the worst I've seen it in my lifetime.  Ideally, the monster will die of "natural" causes before January 20th, 2027, limiting Vance to a single term in his own right.  Even better, I'd love to then see the Democrats hold up ALL federal funding until Vance were to then resign.  In this case, if there is no GOP VP confirmed by the senate, guess who then becomes president?

Well...  Keep your fingers crossed.  I hope not to need my "Letters of Transit" like those from the movie Casablanca. 

 

OK, I did plenty of nothing, and just a little bit more.

 

For the most part, I knew today was going to be a nothing burger of a day.  Yes, I had a Zoom scheduled with RQS and our Texas friends.  But I didn't have the energy to do anything else until the afternoon came.

- - - - - -

I awoke around 7, and fell back to sleep until 10.  Since the sun was out for a change, I knew that I'd eventually have the energy to get moving.  (Rainy days tend to drain my energy level, and not because the rain depresses me.  It may have something to do with the change in air pressure.)  By noon, I was up, and by 3, I was out the door thinking that I might go to Lane Bryant to buy a new slip.

On the way down to Lower Westchester, I stopped by a deli I used to go to when I was working at the imaging firm.  No one was there that I remembered, in part because of the time of day.  When I paid for the sandwich and a bottle of iced tea, I was $15 poorer.  Boy, prices have gone up in the past few years!

At this point, I changed my mind about going to Lane Bryant, as I'll be in lower county tomorrow for game night.  Instead, I went home for a while and relaxed before starting up the Zoom meeting.  Surprisingly enough, our Texas friends were more animated than usual in our chat.  Yet, they didn't bite when RQS mentioned that we could visit them close to home.  No big deal.

Once the Zoom meeting ended, I ran off to CVS to pick up some quick dry for my nails.  (I screwed up one finger's polish during the zoom.)  By the time I was back, it was 11 pm - and the only thing I had accomplished was a zoom meeting.  And that only involved me setting up the meeting.  Plenty of nothing, and just a tad more. 

I didn't do much today, save for add to the donation bag. (A short post.)

 

This was the second day in a row where I didn't feel much like doing anything.  Today was very different, as my lack of energy had to do with my body as a whole, and not just what was going on in my head.  So, I expect that this will be a shorter post than usual. 

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Today would be a jammie day.  Often, I sleep in a comfortable slip or nightie.  The last time I remember wearing anything from my male wardrobe to bed was when I had my last sleep test for renewing my CPAP machine prescription.  Yet, I'll bet that some of the stuff I wear to bed may look a little strange on my body.  But comfort and self image are the most important things - especially when no one is going to see me in my bed clothes.

- - - - - -

Recently, the second of two watch bands broke on me.  (Two different watches, the second bought as a replacement for the first.)  I have a third watch I wear as a backup, although the band is much worse for wear than I would like. (It needs a new battery.) Sadly, Timex doesn't sell this watch (and band) anymore, so I can't replace it.  I am old fashioned enough to wear wristwatches both for telling time, and for adornments on my wrist.  A watch is the one piece of "jewelry" which is practical and serves a purpose other than adornment, and I'm used to wearing the same watch whether I am presenting as a male or female.

- - - - - -

Thinking about things I wear, I decided to take some clothes out of my closet and put them into a donation bag.  I have way too many things I bought in Universal Standard's "Mystery Boxes" that I didn't wear enough to get my money's worth from their purchase.  But pruning these things from my closet makes it possible for me to buy new things that I will wear.  (I'm no longer fantasizing about going to work again, so why keep the 50% of a wardrobe that reflects a pre-retirement image of myself.

- - - - - -

I thought this would be an even shorter post when I started it.  Yet, it's nice to think a little about the things I wear.  Hopefully, I'll be able to keep looking appropriate in whatever I pull out of my closet and jewelry chest. 

Rain, Rain, Go Away.... (A short post.)

 

After doing much of nothing yesterday, my normal inclination would be to put on a nice dress and go outside today.  Well, the threat of rain and thunderstorms put the kibosh on that plan.  Yet, I had to go out and restock my refrigerator, so what to do?  Stay inside until just before dinner time, of course!

- - - - - - 

Although the early part of the day was relatively dry, the rains came early and created a dreary atmosphere.  It wasn't the best day to go out and shop.  But it made perfect sense to do so around dinner time, as the rain was due to end sometime in the evening, and it would likely be a lighter rain when I drove to Trader Joe's.  So I got dressed in a tunic dress and leggings (this was not the day to go out in a summery dress) and drove to Trader Joe's.  On the way to TJ's, the heavens opened up a little, and then stopped when I got there.  After picking up my foodstuffs, the rains stopped for a few minutes, and did the same when I got home.  Now, I have enough "fresh" food in the ice box to last me to the end of the week. 

Could I have done a load of laundry?  Maybe.  But that task can wait until tomorrow. It was simply nice to be able to get dressed as Marian and present myself as female for past of the day.

So many reasons I could have gotten dressed and gone out today - and I didn't.

 

Ok, this may end up being a shorter post than usual.  Yet, I have to write something about my life today.

- - - - - -

I first woke up around 7 am, and had a choice: Do I go out to Church, or do I want to stay in bed.  You can guess which choice won out by the image above.  And this is how I spent my day.  Either I was in bed resting, or I was in the living room watching YouTube videos.

Strangely enough, if one is careful and selective, one can get a lot of objective news information from YouTube that the mainstream news media is afraid to cover.  For example, much of the mainstream American media is afraid to hold the orange monster to account, lest they lose access to him.  But I ask, and will continue to ask: Why have access when whatever he says is a lie, including the words "and" and "the"?  If you are there to report news, and all you get are lies, why be there at all?  If you can't report these fallacies for what they are, why bother reporting anything at all?

Once I got moving, I realized that I didn't have any food in the freezer that could be defrosted quickly, nor did I have anything tasty that I could nuke and enjoy a good meal.  So, I could have gotten dressed and gone to the store to buy something.  But I didn't.

By the time I was interested in doing anything, it was getting ready to rain, and I had no interest in going out.  Yet, I had my choice of too many dresses to choose from.  (When am I going to start filling another donation bag?)  Could I have put on some clothes and done a load of laundry?  Maybe, but I wasn't in the mood to even do that.

As you can see - it was a quiet day, something I still needed after a marathon Friday with Vicki. 

A lazy day, coupled with my first visit to the Drafthouse in months.

 

With RQS seeing her cousin in Philly, I had no absolute demands on my time this weekend.  So, I thought I might go see an Off Broadway play in NYC, but didn't get out of the house on time.

- - - - - - 

When I have nothing scheduled that requires me to be on time, I often miss what I originally put on the docket to fill my time.  Today, it was the chance to see the play "Dirty Books" which is nearing the end of its run that I missed.

After a long day of travel yesterday, the last thing I wanted to do was move - even if someone else would be in charge of the movement.  So I stayed in bed way too long, and missed the train to NYC that would have gotten me to the city on time.  Instead, I decided to see the film "Disclosure Day", as it had received decent reviews.  

Disclosure Day can be described as 2 parallel chases (bad guys chasing 2 different people) leading to a TV Studio where the proven existence of Alien life would be revealed.  Although this film has Steven Spielberg behind the camera, it is not up to the standards of his other work.  One could have done much more with the idea of a conspiracy to hide the existence of Alien life from humanity, one could feel that a little bit more could have been done with the meat of this story, instead of having most of the movie revolve around the chasing of 2 individuals.  What surprised me most was not the film, but what had changed at the Yonkers Drafthouse cinema.  In the past, one would raise tickets with one's orders.  Now, one uses one's cell phone to place an order and to order refills.  And their app confused me. 

On an aside, I had to go to the loo twice while at the theater.  Years ago, I'd be a bit nervous when entering the female only area.  Now, I am comfortable standing on line with the other women waiting for a free stall.  So, when the credits started to roll, I was the first person to get to a stall.  By the time I was done, there was a line that was at least 12 women long, and stretched out the door.  (I still wonder how cisgender women manage to hold it in with their smaller bladders.  But that's another story for another day.)

At least, I was able to get back into bed at a reasonable time.... 

A visit to the Flax Barn Sale

 

The only thing on the docket for today was a long drive to Wampsville, NY for the Flax Barn Sale.  Two years ago, I scored several dresses, tops and bottoms for a dirt cheap price.  This year, Vicki and I decided to do it again while RQS was in Philadelphia with her cousin.  Yet, neither of us expected the drive to be as long as it was.  But then, Vicki was following speed limits to the letter.  (I wonder if she got a ticket recently - I'm not going to ask her....)

I woke up around 8 am, with only 4 hours of sleep.  Yet, I was ready for Vicki on time - 10 am.  There was no way that Vicki wanted to stop to eat until lunch time, so she offered me a protein bar to stave off any hunger pains until we sat down for lunch.  About 1 1/2 hours later, we stopped at a Thruway rest area and paid almost $20 for a Burger King meal - something that off the Thruway would cost $12-$13.  Ouch.  Neither of us finished our meal, and continued onward  for another 2 hours for another bio-break.  This time, Vicki picked up some Dunkin' Doughnut Holes, small 1 bite doughnut pieces that could temporarily stave off hunger pains until we got something serious to eat.

Eventually, we made it to the barn sale, and we started going through boxes of garments, looking for things that would fit us.  On my side of the tent, some women were stripping down to their undies to try on clothes.  (The only male in the tent was on the far other side, manning the cash register.)  Even if I had a cisgender female's body, I doubt I'd want to show myself in my underwear to other women.  This is not a gym locker room, nor is it the Syms (a defunct store) women's dressing area.  Vicki bought 4 garments for herself, and several for her friends.  I bought 1 outfit for myself, and a light linen dress I could wear this summer. 

We started home around 4-4:30 pm, and I changed into something comfortable at the first thruway rest area.  (I was wearing a unitard, so that I could try on clothes without stripping down to my underwear.)  Once in a more comfortable dress, we traveled for the next 2-3 hours until we reached Hudson, NY for dinner.  I looked for an affordable place, and found Savona's.    It's a good, stick to your ribs Italian joint, but not one you'd call a "Red Sauce" joint - even though it serves many of the red sauce joint specialties.  While waiting for our food, Vicki and a man at a neighboring bar seat got into a long winded chat.  (She wanted to end the chat earlier, but he couldn't stop once started.)   occupied myself by playing a game on my phone.  When the food came, we realized that after we finished, that we would go home with leftovers enough for a small meal.  (Both of us would go there again tomorrow if it weren't 2 hours away.)

Having left the restaurant, it took us another 2 hours to get home.  Vicki was getting tired, and I could see that in the way she was reacting to idiots on the road.  So, I was glad when she dropped me off at 11, knowing that she'd be in her own bed by midnight....

Happy Independence day!

 

Happy Independence Day!

(See you tomorrow.) 

Car $ervice - Ouch

 

No, I didn't have a muffler replacement today.  But it was almost as bad - I had a 30,000 mile service done on my car, and my wallet is still aching.  It could be worse (and will be soon).  The car will be needing tires soon (Original Factory Supplied Tires don't last long), as well as differential service (Subaru's All Wheel Drive makes this a legitimate expense) within the next few months.  Ouch!  There goes some of the money I received from a tax refund.  To make things more interesting, I also have some dental work coming up in a few weeks, and there goes the rest of the refund!  These are first world problems.  I have the money in the bank.  But I was hoping to keep it there.   

I was glad not to have to make it to the dealership too early.  But I hated having to switch into a male presentation for the day, only to return to presenting as a female tomorrow.  There is a good reason for the quick switcheroo - Vicki and I are going to the Flax Barn Sale in upstate New York.  We'll be away from home for a full day, and I'll be delivered right into temptation.  I don't need any more dresses in my closet.

My appointment was for 4:30, and I was out by 6:15, and $550.00 lighter.  I knew it was going to be expensive, and my wallet always cringes when I visit the shop.  At least, I deferred the big expenses to next month, when the check from the sale of the family homestead comes in.  (And then, I'll have to deal with taxes on the capital gain - another ouch!)

Sadly, there was no game night tonight.  The host family took a drive to Hershey, PA for the theme park there, and didn't think they'd make it back by 7:30.  (I'd have cancelled in their shoes, not thinking about the time - schlepping to the middle of Pennsylvania and back in a single day is exhausting.)  Hopefully, they will have taken my advice to return to New York over the Tappan Zee Bridge - who wants to fight traffic going into Manhattan on the George Washington Bridge, and pay $10.00 extra for the privilege?

Hump Day!

 

Technically, as I write this, it's not summer yet.  And yet, we've already had a couple of heat spells.  I can only imagine how I'll be feeling when the dog days of summer arrive.  I know I'll be well prepared, with an over supply of summer dresses in my closet.

- - - - - -

Today started by me waking up 4 hours early and staying awake until noon.  I had a zoom call with my niece in London, and we caught up on things.  (As usual, I had much to say, and she listened.)  After an hour, both of us had to take care of other things, and we agreed to try for another zoom in July.

Once done with my niece, I took care of little things, then decided to cook an early dinner.  This way, I could get rid of the sausage I had in the ice box, and not have to go outside and spend money that didn't need to be spent.

- - - - - -

As you can see, I didn't do much today.  Yet, I needed a small break from a busy routine.  And for a change, I didn't end up browsing clothing stores' web sites today.  I own way too many dresses, and need to radically prune my closets of clothes that no longer look good on me, and no longer interest me.  This  task will be something I handle over the summer.

Unlike many M2F transgenders, I had it easy.  My wife died 30 years ago, so I wouldn't lose that much if a potential girlfriend were to leave me because of my feminine presentation.  No one has come close to living with me, save now for RQS.  And even then, we'd have to find a place that meets both our needs.  I need a place where I can park a car for days at a time.  RQS needs a place with good mass transit.  Until we find that place, we'll live in two residences and shuttle back and forth between the two.

With the above being said, I had little to stop me from buying too large a female wardrobe (especially dresses!)  Even now, I will likely be going with Vicki to the yearly Flax Barn Sale. Garments are drastically marked down to clear them from Flax's warehouse, and it's often worth the long drive to get to the sale.  Additionally, it gives me the opportunity to spend a day with my friend Vicki.

How many dresses does a woman need?  Certainly less than I have.  But I hate wearing trouser like garments, as they end up exposing the fact that I don't have a cisgender woman's hips.  If I had a typical female body, I'd likely be wearing jeans during colder weather  It would be nice for me to have the hourglass figure of a typical female, and not the rectangular figure typical for a male.  Dresses help me hide this little problem.

- - - - - -

There's a part of me that wants to go back to work as a female.  If I see a good weekday, part time job, I'll apply for it.  But I'll have to edit down my resume to let people know that I would willingly work in a position with lower responsibilities than I once had.  It would be nice to live part of the life I could have had if I were born with the right chromosomes.  

I'd rather have been in Scranton, PA today.

 

The Union Pacific Big Boy - #4014 is a unique survivor of the scrap heap.  Instead, it was put into static display when it was retired from service, and rehabilitated for use to show of the Union Pacific railroad's heritage.  This weekend, it traveled through Pennsylvania to reach the Steamtown museum for temporary display and boiler servicing.  Yesterday and Today (as I write this) were the only two days this machine would be available for close up public inspection before it is taken in for servicing.  Sadly, I couldn't make it there today, as I had a lot on my schedule for the day.

- - - - - -

Before I got to any of the items on my docket, an old acquaintance messaged me.  Six years ago, we had a nasty falling out (I won't say more on that), and now we are able to have a good chat again.  It's a nice thing, and I hope that we'll have more of these chats in the future.  One bit of good news - her family is going well, and she has someone nice in her life.  (Again, I won't say more about this.)  Sooner or later, we will finally meet again.  Although things won't be the same as before, it will be in a better place than it once could have been. 

The first thing on my docket was lunch with SJM.  We had changed the date, and our time was limited by appointments on both of our calendars.  She discussed family affairs, and I talked about my brother finding a job, the sale of the family homestead, and the current political situation.  When I mentioned that I want to take RQS to Hawaii with me presenting as Marian, she advised against it - she is especially sensitive to what is going on with our government officials.  Next, I talked with my financial advisor.  He gave me some bad news regarding tax liabilities from the sale of the family homestead, as well as other things I'm not in the mood to mention today. 

Just before dinnertime, I had to facilitate a co-op board meeting for the purpose of interviewing an applicant. I set things up, and all went well.  Yet, I noticed something unusual - without my face on screen, people were comfortable talking over me.  This was a problem in my last project with the bank, where I had to manage a group of people remotely with no visual contact.  Without today's Zoom technology, my voice alone is ineffective for a male voice.  It's not in a timbre which commands attention.  At least, it was a pleasant meeting for all  involved..

As one can see, there was no way I could have gone to Scranton today.  But, damn, I wish I could have been there to see the Big Boy! 

 

 

Someone is getting forgetful, and it's not me.

Today, RQS had to go home after a weekend at my place, and things started off relatively normally for a Monday.  Both RQS and I would get showered and dressed, and I would drive her to the train station to go home.  And our routine followed along this path until I got home.

For the next 2 days (as I write this), the one functional "Big Boy" locomotive UP#4014 would be available for viewing at the Steamtown National Historic Site.  And then, UP#4014 could be serviced by both Steamtown and Union Pacific personnel until the end of the month, when UP#4014 would make its way to Philadelphia for America's 250th anniversary.  If I had made my plan to drive to Scranton, PA immediately after dropping RQS off at the station, RQS would not be able to communicate with her family - she had left her cell phone charging in my bedroom, and the earliest I could get it to her would be Wednesday.  If I couldn't get it to her then, it would be another 11 days before she'd have her phone in her hands.  (You can imagine what it would be like if you couldn't return phone calls for 2 weeks!)  So, I decided to drive to her place before I'd be affected by rush hour traffic jams.

It was a perfect day for me to wear a summery dress with a denim jacket - the weather was warm enough for a nice dress, but cool enough to want something to keep me warm after the sun goes down.  So, I figured that I'd get to RQS's place by 3 pm, surprise her with her phone, and then have a couple of tacos with her before driving back home.  And the dress was the most comfortable thing I could wear when walking to the taco shop.

But back to RQS's place....

I used my keys to enter her building then knocked on her door.  It was the most pleasant surprise she could have gotten.  A couple of hours later, we were eating tacos, and I was ready to drive home.  And that's where the 2nd forgotten item was left in the wrong place.  She forgot to take her keys when she want to the pottery studio.  Luckily, she has a neighbor who has broken in to her apartment (with permission) in the past, so that she could get into her apartment.

I'm glad I could have been there for her today, and that her neighbor was available to help her as well.

If we're lucky, most of our lives can be pleasantly uneventful.

 

Millions of people have gone through the Great Hall at Grand Central Terminal in New York, with nothing but another Hum-Drum day ahead of them.  For the most part, life is like a great musical work: Small events setting up the main theme, with major events being developed in the middle, with a coda to close out the work.  We start as children, become who we will be in early adult hood, repeat many of our choices through middle age, and close out our lives with the sum of our choices behind us.  Most of us have "Boring" lives, falling within the "standard deviation" of life.  Others have lives outside the "standard deviation", producing great things, but paying a great price for those accomplishments.

For many transgender people, life is never hum-drum.  As children, we often get push-back when we identify as a different gender than that assigned to us.  If we're lucky, we'll live in an area where gender therapy treatments are available, and live with parents who are comfortable with seeing that we get that therapy.  If we're unlucky, we'll live in an area that will deny us that therapy, or have parents who deny us the therapy we need.  Assuming we survive our childhood "intact" (read: without too many psychological hangups), our adulthood can be rocky as well.  It's much harder for us to learn how to act according to the opposite gender's rules when we lived our childhoods learning the rules of our assigned gender.  Couple that with (most likely) sexually dimorphic characteristic development for the gender to which we were assigned, and it can be a living hell.  Then, imagine being rejected by family and friends when one outs him/herself, and I'd never wish this experience on one's enemies.

Assuming one successfully navigates this gauntlet, one gets to live a normal life.  Or, is it normal?  Many of us stand out because our bodies are not "just tight".  For many, social prejudices haunt them through adulthood.  An example of this is our president's executive order "correcting" gender marking on passports to the gender transgender adults were assigned at birth.  There are people who hate us because we do not fit into a gender binary.  They say it's against God's will.  But is it?  To me, the ignorance of society is inexcusable.

Boredom can be a blessing for us.  If we're not under attack, we can live relatively normal lives.  This doesn't mean we'll be free of stress.  Instead, our stressors will be in the "normal" range.  And isn't that we all want?