Booking a trip with RQS as Marian

 

Last night, RQS and I decided to drop the hammer and book our first trip together with me presenting as Marian for the entire trip.  This will be another test of our relationship, as she has never spent more than 2 or 3 days together with me when presenting as a female.  And, if all goes right, we will meet up with two friends of mine from Texas for a Girls' Weekend.

I'll admit that I am a little bit hesitant about booking this trip, as it will be the 4th trip we've booked for this year, and I'm a little concerned about spending beyond our means to explore the world.  I'm also a little bit nervous about meeting my friends from Texas, even though they know that I am transgender.  But then, I've always been a little bit of a worry-wort when it comes to spending money at times.

This will be a trip that I can do with just a carry-on bag and a personal item.  I figure that we'll stay in Chicago for a slightly extended long weekend, while the girls will leave the day before us.  This way, we will have some time for ourselves to relax before flying home.  If I've planned things correctly, we'll have been able to spend a long weekend together in a big city for under $1,000/pp.   The big question is: If I've priced out a 3 night stay with air from Dallas, will either (or both) of the 2 ladies be able to afford the trip?  If not, then RQS and I will have a great weekend away from home.  Either way, we should have a great time away from home!

ps: The trip is now booked, and one of my two Texas friends has already booked her trip.  I can't wait for this trip to begin!

pps: It's been over a week and a half now, and the second Texas friend has not yet booked her trip.  I wonder when or if she will do so.  Hopefully soon.

Date nights for Marian - a short post

 

It's a strange feeling for me to have a relationship with a woman who accepts me for who and what I am. Do we attach labels to our relationship?  No.  But it is very interesting to see us addressed as two women, and not see RQS flinch when this is done.  I am very lucky to have this woman in my life - and I know it.

Like most couples, date nights for us are both nothing special to the world, and everything special for us. These are our nights to connect with each other, whether I am presenting as Marian or as Mario. To me, it is even more special to me when RQS says that we should go out as two women.  When we do so, we do not show as much PDA as we usually might. But then, we are usually in Westchester at these times.

It is not an uncommon things to see same sex couples out in the world these days. When RQS and I were on our last cruise together, the couple in the next cabin were likely a same sex couple.  This is a good thing for us and our future plans.  Yet, I must always remember that RQS wants a relationship with Mario as well.  So, I try to make sure that Mario is always there for her when expected and wanted.

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I wonder what it will be like for us when we go on a cruise with me presenting as Marian for the entire cruise.  Will RQS be comfortable spending an entire week (or more) with me in Marian mode?  What about PDAs?  Will a cruise be a 7 night date for us?  Only time will tell.

Lots of stuff is on order - some needed, some just wanted, and some that may not make perfect sense.

This is a lousy picture of me. I finally got the chance to go out tonight as Marian, and decided to try on this Universal Standard "Mystery Box" dress after I got home, while I was still made up to go out.  I'm not so happy with this color, and I am not that happy with the way it drapes on me.  But maybe, it's because I'm tired and looking to get ready for bed.

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Right now, I have a similar dress on order, as well as a body short.  I think that the above dress will look OK in a darker, stronger color, and may be good for wearing in the summer.  As for the body short, it doesn't make sense unless I find a local yoga class for beginners that I can go to which accepts gender non-conforming people in the class.  (And I have been looking!)  In addition to this, I have a couple of bracelets from Lane Bryant on order that I know I'll be wearing often.

It is not only clothing and jewelry that I have on order.  I also have my daily medications coming from the mail order pharmacy.  However, my doctor just changed my prescriptions, and some of what I'll be receiving will simply get stored away until a possible future need.  It's hard to believe how expensive some medicines can be.  On my last visit, my doctor suggested that I try a heavily advertised drug to see how it works.  Since I couldn't get refreshed information on which drugs to stop taking when taking the new drug, I skipped it and stayed on the old regimen.  This is just as well.  My doctor found out that the new drug costs $500/month and is not covered by my insurance.  I'm glad that I didn't place an order for this drug!

My doctor runs a small private practice.  He has avoided joining the big chains, and has figured out how to stay relevant in an age of large medical chains.  He also hates "Big Pharma", but  was unable to engage him in a long enough conversation to find out what his issues with the medical establishment are.  Given that he is a conservative person a few years older than I am, I have no intention of presenting myself to him as Marian.  I'll start presenting myself as female to my next doctor when that day comes.

I figure that I still need to find a small gift for RQS within the next week.  What I get may not make much sense.  But I must make sure that she feels good when she gets it. 

As I write this, a sad day.

 

As much as some people are happy to see this day, smart people also have a bit of sadness too.  Our former president has been indicted on 34 counts in New York State.  We have never seen anything like this before, and it will be a precedent no matter what results from the trial.

People who know me know that I despise our former president for how he divided this country and for how he normalized extremist nuts.  Even worse, he created a situation where professional politicians are afraid of his supporters - something reminiscent of 1930's Germany.  And yet, our republic has survived - so far.

Trump's lawyers have characterized this indictment as a political action, claiming that the ex-president's opponents are using the courts to harm him.  I find this amazing, as Trump is known for using the courts to get his way with others.  He claims that he is a political victim.  But he brought it on himself.  He pissed off too many people, and is now finding that Karma is a bitch.

I, for one, am upset that the trial will not take place until 2024, and that he will not be under any gag order to keep from aggravating the public in a way that would allow for a fair trial by a jury of his peers. I am also upset that there is no way to accelerate this case, so that it will not affect next year's election season.  I will be upset if this case creates a possible constitutional crisis, if Trump is elected but the trial is still taking place.  As they say, "Justice Delayed is Justice Denied" and Trump continues his tactic of trying to run out the clock.

It's a sad time for America, as we can no longer automatically hold our presidents in high esteem anymore.  This indictment shows us that our leaders are only human and must be held accountable for their actions when called for.  In short, it's time for America to grow up and realize that we are no longer the special "Beacon on the Hill" that we once thought this nation to be.

Thinking of taking a short trip to Atlantic City for its cheap midweek rates

 

RQS and I have discussed taking care of a personal errand somewhere on the New Jersey coast.  But most of the good places to stay are way overpriced for this time of year.  So I had a thought: Why not stay in Atlantic City overnight and save a few dollars?  There are some good places to eat near the casinos, and we could be wide awake when we took care of our errand.

Assuming we take this trip, we'll be taking advantage of a midweek special, where the hotel part of the complex is giving away the rooms to make a few extra dollars.  There is no way that I'd pay to stay in Atlantic City on the weekend, as a room I could get for roughly $50+tax could cost me over $300+tax. Ouch! The big question which I might have asked would be whether I would travel as Marian or as Mario. But I think it would be best for me to travel as Mario, so that I can avoid possible complications with hotel/casino security.  Could I change while in the room?  Yes.  But why bother?

I have gone to Atlantic City several times in the past.  Once with a former GF from Staten Island, and two/three times with XGFJ.  Most of the time, gambling bores me.  So, on the last trip with XGFJ, I was in the room reading a book when she came to the room escorted by security.  She had won $7,500+ at a slot machine, and didn't want to get mugged on the way to the room.  As for me, I was happy for her. But I simply didn't want to allow myself to get used to sitting in front of a one armed bandit and letting it suck money from my wallet because I got into a zone.

So what do I expect from this trip?

RQS and I will get to Atlantic City in the evening, have dinner, and go to bed.  The next morning after breakfast, we'll drive to Ocean Grove and take care of an errand before returning home.  I expect that we will have a nice time, and that RQS will finally take care of something she was unable to take care of before.  Yet, there is not much that will get me to go to Atlantic City again, as there is little to do except to gamble in this seaside resort town.

A visit to the Paley Center for Media

 

The Paley Center for Media. It's the perfect museum for a couch potato to visit when s/he has nothing to do. And this is the place that RQS and I visited this weekend.

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To start at the beginning....

Like many couples, RQS and I ask each other on a weekly basis:

"What do we want to do this weekend?"

We'll usually find a new museum to go to, or restaurant to try out.  But it always seems to be a variant on the usual theme.  We are simply looking for ways to avoid boredom, and want to do something that nurtures us in doing so.  

Saturday morning came, and we slowly got ready to trek into Manhattan.  The subway route that we would normally have taken was out.  So we ended up taking an alternate way into Manhattan, and get to Rockefeller Center by 1:30 pm.  From there, it was a short walk to the Paley Center.

 

Arriving at the Paley Center, we were surprised at how empty the museum was.  We started our visit downstairs, and viewed some programs related to Women's History Month.  We were the only two people in the theater.  Next, we went upstairs to see an exhibit on Black Achievements in Music on TV.  Both physical and video artifacts were on display, two of which were Louis Armstrong's Trumpet and Chuck Berry's guitar.  It was a small, but well curated exhibit.  But it paled in comparison to what is on display in Washington, DC.  (I've gotten spoiled by exhibitions at the Smithsonian museums.) 

And then, we went upstairs again to see some videos related to animation.  This wasn't that interesting, so we left the theater and looked at Al Hirschfeld's work and the art of Television on display. This was most interesting, and worth the trip upstairs.  Yet, we couldn't find all the Ninas in the pictures.  Next, it was up to the fourth floor to watch videos from their collection.  This time, I couldn't find the video of Groucho Marx appearing on the Jack Benny show riffing on the theme of Groucho's show, "You Bet Your Life."  But I did find something well worth watching for a Yankee Baseball fan - Game 5 of the 1956 World Series.  

On our way out of the Paley Center, RQS stopped to see whether she could join as a member.  By doing so, our admission fee was refunded and we helped the center in its mission.  Next time, I'll look for a similar deal with another museum we'd visit more than once, and do the same thing.

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By this time, our stomachs were growling, and we decided to go to the Nom Wah Tea Parlor's Nolita outpost.  Unlike their Chinatown site, this establishment was easy to get in to without a wait, but had a more limited selection of Dim Sum.  I was surprised that one could order everything via a touch screen, but had trouble with the credit card reader.  Although the food was as good as their original site, I still prefer going to their smaller venue in Chinatown with Ping's Seafood as a fallback.

Finally, it was time to go back to RQS's place for the evening.  It was nice to know that our weekend subway connections got us back to her place almost as quick as if we were traveling on a weekday. And it was something for us to remember the next time her subway line does a weekend termination at its first Manhattan stop.

Getting dressed can be such a pain

 

When I get dressed as Mario, my decisions are extremely simple.  I choose a short or long sleeved shirt from my closet, and a dark pair of trousers.  Weather conditions rarely matter, but I will add a sweater in a solid dark color when it is cold outside.  Rarely do I need to wear a suit, but when I do, it's always a classic dark blue or grey suit, a white or blue shirt, and a tie around my neck.  Simple as pie!  But when I get dressed as Marian, things are very different.

Getting dressed as Marian requires me to make many more decisions.  For example, my choice of bottoms (trousers or skirt like garment) is dependent on the weather outside  If the weather is warm or hot, I'll always be wearing a nice top with a skirt, or a nice dress.  If the weather is cool, I might wear the dress with a pair of tights.  But if the weather is cold, I'll wear a tunic like dress with a pair of warm leggings.  Before I put anything on, I must choose my intimates.  I need to make sure that the bra I'll wear won't be exposed by the top I'll be wearing.  Once everything is on, I finally choose my shoes (or boots).  Again, the weather can be a factor in this choice.  And finally, I choose my jewelry.  What kind of necklace will I wear?  So many decisions to make.  (And I haven't even talked about makeup!)  No wonder why so many women complain of having a full closet, but nothing to wear.

Now, I hate wearing trouser like garments as they force me to be extra careful when tucking.  I like having as flat a front as possible, so that my legacy genitalia do not create a visible bulge.  Dresses and skirts give me much more room for error.  But most cisgender women tend to wear trouser like garments such as jeans these days.  So I've had to treat some dresses as tunic tops (for coverage) and wear leggings (with compression undergarments which give me a flat front) to look more like a cisgender female.

When I went to Hawaii this December, I wore dresses every day.  It felt nice to have a breeze on my legs while on vacation. The one time I went into the hot tub, I wore a swim dress with pockets for my prosthetic breasts. I've never been happy when wearing that swimsuit, as the skirt always floats up with the jets from the hot tub. I wish I had real breasts to fill out the swimsuit cups.  Like many women, I am not happy with how I look in a swimsuit.  But I know that it's because it's a form fitting garment which tends to show off what I haven't got.

On the whole, I know that being transgender means that I have to accept the imperfections in my female appearance.  And I know that getting dressed will always be a pain, as I will always need to adjust my wardrobe to fit a body for which women's clothing isn't designed.