Getting dressed can be such a pain

 

When I get dressed as Mario, my decisions are extremely simple.  I choose a short or long sleeved shirt from my closet, and a dark pair of trousers.  Weather conditions rarely matter, but I will add a sweater in a solid dark color when it is cold outside.  Rarely do I need to wear a suit, but when I do, it's always a classic dark blue or grey suit, a white or blue shirt, and a tie around my neck.  Simple as pie!  But when I get dressed as Marian, things are very different.

Getting dressed as Marian requires me to make many more decisions.  For example, my choice of bottoms (trousers or skirt like garment) is dependent on the weather outside  If the weather is warm or hot, I'll always be wearing a nice top with a skirt, or a nice dress.  If the weather is cool, I might wear the dress with a pair of tights.  But if the weather is cold, I'll wear a tunic like dress with a pair of warm leggings.  Before I put anything on, I must choose my intimates.  I need to make sure that the bra I'll wear won't be exposed by the top I'll be wearing.  Once everything is on, I finally choose my shoes (or boots).  Again, the weather can be a factor in this choice.  And finally, I choose my jewelry.  What kind of necklace will I wear?  So many decisions to make.  (And I haven't even talked about makeup!)  No wonder why so many women complain of having a full closet, but nothing to wear.

Now, I hate wearing trouser like garments as they force me to be extra careful when tucking.  I like having as flat a front as possible, so that my legacy genitalia do not create a visible bulge.  Dresses and skirts give me much more room for error.  But most cisgender women tend to wear trouser like garments such as jeans these days.  So I've had to treat some dresses as tunic tops (for coverage) and wear leggings (with compression undergarments which give me a flat front) to look more like a cisgender female.

When I went to Hawaii this December, I wore dresses every day.  It felt nice to have a breeze on my legs while on vacation. The one time I went into the hot tub, I wore a swim dress with pockets for my prosthetic breasts. I've never been happy when wearing that swimsuit, as the skirt always floats up with the jets from the hot tub. I wish I had real breasts to fill out the swimsuit cups.  Like many women, I am not happy with how I look in a swimsuit.  But I know that it's because it's a form fitting garment which tends to show off what I haven't got.

On the whole, I know that being transgender means that I have to accept the imperfections in my female appearance.  And I know that getting dressed will always be a pain, as I will always need to adjust my wardrobe to fit a body for which women's clothing isn't designed.

How much is too much?

 

How much is too much?  That is a question I have to ask as I clean up my apartment.  During the pandemic, I had allowed clutter to reach a critical mass.  And, I allowed myself to be entertained by online retail therapy.  In cleaning out the place, I've already donated several bags of clothing to charity, and will likely to donate more in the near future.

One of my weaknesses is to surf the web for dresses that both fit me and will look good on me.  Most cisgender females do not own as many dresses as I own.  But I wasn't able to wear dresses until I reached my 50's.  So, in a way, I'm making up for lost time.  Yet, as I develop my own sense of style, I end up tossing dresses that no longer fit my needs.  In the past, I would stand out because I was wearing dresses when cisgender women would default to wearing trouser like garments.  Now, I have a style which includes these garments when appropriate to wear them.  

If one is a lucky transgender person, one will have the resources to make the mistakes I've made while coming into her own. A word of warning to people newly out - you will stand out like a sore thumb as I did. To some, we may look like drag queens, as we go too far in our attempts to look female. Over time, things will fit into place, and you will blend in if you try to do so.  This might just be a function of finding out how much is too much....

I finally was able to get up before the day was half over.

 

 

For the past couple of weeks (or more), I've been getting up very late in the morning (or, very early in the afternoon).  Once my circadian rhythm got screwed up, it would take a bit of good luck to reset my rhythm.  I had that luck today.

I started out by mentioning luck, as I was up last night watching news coverage of the counting of the electoral votes.  America was very lucky, as the mob was unable to prevent the votes from being counted. We had the additional luck to have people smart enough to cart the unread ballots out of the chamber before the mob got control of the building.  Could you imagine the nonsense Trump would have pulled if the ballots got into the wrong hands and that ad-hoc procedures had to be used?  Even now, I don't trust him to not cause even more trouble on his way out, as he knows his brand is at risk and he can't afford to be labeled as a loser in anything.

Towards the end of the evening, I encountered one fact that will likely destroy Trump after he has left office.  A member of the US Capitol's Police Force died as a result of yesterday's riot.  Since the rioters were encouraged by Trump, it's only a matter of time before law enforcement personnel rebel against him.  Even if he pardons himself successfully (and that will be tested in court), I doubt that he will have their implicit support if he were to attempt a run for the presidency in 2024. 

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With the above being said, I finally made it out in Marian mode today.  I had the time to deal with having too much blood in my caffeine stream, and started the day with a cup of coffee.  After that, I rested a little, and was out the door by noon.

One of the things I wanted to buy is a pair of wide leg trousers.  I decided to drive up to Lane Bryant in Poughkeepsie to try on a pair in the store.  And they seemed to fit well where I needed them to fit.  However, I couldn't buy the pair in the store because I needed a shorter inseam than an average female.  So I went home to buy the trousers online.

On the way home, I found that one of my favorite local restaurants would only accept orders online - they want no one entering the place to place an order during the pandemic.  Instead of making a phone call while in the car, I decided to go across the street and enjoy Mexican food instead of the Japanese food I originally wanted to order.  (I'll place an order for the Japanese place's Seafood Soup some other day.  Right now, I was a little annoyed that they wouldn't take an order, then ask a person to sit in the car.)

Once home, I placed the order for the trousers.  However, I realized that I may have made a mistake on sizing, ordering a size 28 instead of a size 26.  So I may end up buying a similar pair from another online outlet and hope that it fits as well as the pair I tried on in the store, and then return the pair I bought for a refund.

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Although my sleep schedule is still screwed up, I have a hope of a proper reset in the near future.  My need for sleep overruled the caffeine in my system that kept me awake for my Thursday night zoom meetup. I was able to get two quick hours of sleep before waking up, and finishing this entry while at full consciousness.