Schedules change, and sometimes for the better.

 

Today, I had lunch with my friend from the census.  At this time of year, it's always hard to find good days to meet, but we did so - and had a good chat.  She told me of her husband's semi-retirement and of some other goings on in her life, while I mentioned my cruise and the little things we enjoyed.  Time passed quickly, yet I felt that I was "out of sync" again.

Once finished with lunch, it was back home to rest for a while.  While I had the chance, I texted Maria to see if we're on for the weekend.  She would only be available for lunch on Saturday, so I had to check with RQS whether she would be able to make it up to Croton before noon.  After a little back and forth, she said she'd take an early train, so that I could pick her up at the station for lunch with Maria.  

While I was in the mood to text, I checked in on my acquaintance from meetup (MAR).  She doesn't get that I can't make any weekend dates, and she has a hard time having any energy to meet on weeknights.  Sadly, she's stuck in a rut, and there's nothing I can do (or should do) to help her at this stage.  When one's 40, stuck in a dead-end job, and still living with parents, it's doubtful she'll ever be able to afford the time or money to maintain certain friendships. 

Since I was home for the evening, I decided to do some laundry.  Although I didn't bother folding anything, the clothes are clean and ready to be put away.  Once done with this task, I checked in with RQS and found out that her friend wanted to have lunch, not dinner, with her on Friday.  So RQS will be able to make it up here Friday night and have an easier time making it to lunch the next day.

In the end, the calendar worked out for me.  And that's a good thing when I'm living as much of my life as I can in Marian mode. 

I'm tired of talking politics, and I hope that the new year is better than this one.

 

Today will not be an excuse for a political rant.  I am thankful that the year is almost over, even though I have a few chores left to take care of before baby new year comes a calling.

- - - - - -

I'm very thankful that I've been able to take 5 different cruises this year.  It's nice to have someone to share experiences with.  After being widowed for 29 years, it feels a little strange to be with someone I can trust to be there when I need her.  (She feels the same about me.)  It's a blessing to have someone in my life who can accept me both as Marian and as Mario.  Unlike former relationships, I don't have to hide the feminine side of me from her.

I've tried to keep in touch with people, but some of them have fallen by the wayside.  One friend is assumed to have died, or he is unable to keep in touch.  Another friend is doing OK, and we have to find time to get together during the new year.  Yet, unlike most cisgender females, I do not have a typical woman's network of friends.  This is the price a transgender person pays for being assigned male at birth.

In spite of what is going on in the Orange Snowflake's mind, I have been able to live most of my life untouched by his evil nature.  Yes, I get angry when I hear his voice.  But I know to change the channel and catch up on the news in ways where I don't have to hear evil words come out of his hateful voice. Yet, I still have faith that things will get better sooner than later.  However, I know that I have an exit plan underway, just in case things get really bad.

When I look at things going on with my co-op, I worry about things that could cause our complex to fail financially.  Luckily, I have a voice in things, and use it as much as possible,  I publish the co-op's website, as well as manage the co-op's zoom presence.  (Zoom is nothing much to talk about.  But I handle all technology issues for the co-op.)  There are some accounts that are in arrears, and I am looking to get these shareholders to pay up, so that others don't have to carry them.  Hopefully, 2026 will be a better year for the co-op, as I don't want to take on any more responsibility than I have now.

After a year of having no tenants in the family homestead, it looks like we will have some soon.  This year, 2025, the house became a money pit for my brother and I, and neither of us expected that we would sink as much money into the house as we did without rent coming in to pay the expenses.  Assuming we get someone good to rent the place, I'm hoping that we will sell the place 5 years from now, as I expect I'll need a cash infusion by then.

So, I'll close this entry with a simple wish - have a joyful and prosperous new year!

 

It was a busy day and evening

 

Today would be a busy day.  I didn't have the time or energy to clean up my apartment before RQS came up today So, all I could do is get some little things out of the way, so that she could feel more comfortable while here.

- - - - - -

I woke up early, but had little energy to move.  My back was bothering me a little, and I didn't want to spend what little energy I had cleaning up my place.  So, I moved things out of the way and got ready to go out as Marian for the first time since before my last cruise. 

Getting ready as Marian involves several things.  First, I have to shave very close.  Then, I have to apply my makeup.  And that has a routine that I try to follow: (1) Clean my face, (2) Apply beard concealer, (3) Apply dark makeup to disguise my chin bones, (4) Apply foundation, (5) Apply brow makeup, (6) Apply setting powder, (7) Apply blush, and finally (8) Apply lipstick.  There are times that I am in a rush and skip a step - but that's usually when I'm in a rush.  It's a production, but worth it to go out as Marian.

- - - - - -

My friend from the imaging firm and I had a lunch appointment scheduled for noon at Panera Bread in White Plains.  So I wouldn't have much time in the morning to putz around and all I could do would be to get up, get ready to go out, and drive to White Plains.  By 11 am, I was running late, and was about to call my friend.  Then I read a test on my phone - my friend would be late.  She "got credit" for asking for a delay, and this suited me just fine.

We met at Panera at 12:30, and had a nice chat.  I talked about my recent cruise, and she talked about her Thanksgiving day dinner disaster.  All too soon, lunch had to end.  Part of me couldn't wait - this place was much too loud in which to hold a good conversation.  So I went home for a while, waiting for RQS to come in.

At 4:30, I picked up RQS at the station, and we went to a local "Red Sauce" joint for dinner.  But neither of our dishes were covered by red sauce: she had shrimp scampi, while I had chicken scarpiello.  Yum!  The food was tasty, plentiful, and filling. We lingered a bit at the restaurant, and then it was off to the Westchester Woman's Chorus perform at a nearby church.

- - - - - -

A friend of ours performs with the chorus, and we were there to hear her (and others) sing.  It was a nice performance, and  we were glad to have gone.  We met DS there from game night, but she didn't have a lot to say.  Soon, it was time to leave, and we were home for the night.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

 

While we were on the cruise, both RQS and I were noticing the gradual mounting of Christmas decorations around the ship.  First, it was setting up this Christmas tree.  Then, it was the read garlands around the light sconces on the ship.  Gradually, the ship had been transformed for its Christmas season cruising.  If I could afford both the time and money, RQS and I would be taking a Christmas cruise on the Queen Mary 2.  Given what I've seen so far, they how to celebrate the holiday on this ship. 

Several years ago, I took a Christmas Cruise which sailed from New York to Port Canaveral, NCL's private island, and Charleston, SC before returning to Manhattan.  This was one of the first cruises to sail after Covid-19, and it was one of the best cruises I've ever been on.  On Christmas Day, both children and their parents came down to the atrium in their PJs, just to visit with Mr. & Mrs. Santa.  The best gift that we could get that year was the ability to travel again as things were coming back to normalcy.

This year, I have yet to buy RQS a present she doesn't know about.  But I've already given her the gift of a cruise we'll be taking soon.  As much as I'd like to have traveled as Marian for this cruise, I know I'd be pressing my luck with another visit to Florida and its dreaded bathroom laws.

- - - - - -

I still have to give RQS an idea of what I want for Christmas.  I don't need any more dresses in my closet.  And I need to figure out what best fits me from the Marian side of my closets if I want her to give a clothing gift.  Jewelry would be nice, but I'm not sure of what I'd want and it's hard to find things that will fit me and look good on me.

Still, as I write this, it's a couple of weeks before the holiday, and we have time to figure things out. 

 

 

 

 

 

Eastern Caribbean Cruise 2025 - Disembarkation Day (12/08/25)

 

I don't have that much to say about leaving the ship today.  The alarms were set to go off at 5:45 am, and I was up even earlier.  Normally, if one is on the starboard side of the cruise ship. one doesn't get a chance to see the Statue of Liberty at sunrise from the safety and comfort of our cabin.  However, our ship was brought in to the pier pointing South. And that meant that the ship would do a U-Turn before going to the pier, allowing me to capture the shot above.

- - - - - -

We got off the ship around 8:30 am or so, and spent the next 30 minutes going through the cruise terminal hunting for RQS's luggage.  (It was placed in a wrong, but nearby area.)  By the time we found it and got outside, we saw the ferry leaving the dock, meaning that we would have to stand outside on the coldest day of the year, waiting for another hour.  Of course, we had no intention of waiting.  But all the cabbies shunned us, and the fare to take us to Central Queens.  After getting frustrated, someone at the pier told us - summon an Uber, as it will be cheaper. So, we did.

When the Uber arrived, we encountered a very nice fellow at the wheel  His GPS took us through a traffic jam I always try to avoid (the section of the BQE that's falling apart and always moving slower than a walk), and then through back roads to RQS's place.  (I knew most of the roads, and it probably was the fastest way there.)  What startled me a little was that the driver was getting his directions in Chinese!  We were at RQS's place before 11:00 am, and the gentleman helped us bring our luggage to the first landing of RQS's apartment.  I made sure to give him a good tip!

- - - - - -

RQS had no food inside her place.  So at noon, we ordered some from a local pizzeria.  We knew we were going to have problems when she had to repeat a phone number and address several times to the fellow on the other side of the line.  At 12:40 pm, we got our first call - where were we?  The delivery person was waiting for us.  (But at the wrong address, as we'd find out when RQS went downstairs.)  After a few fits and starts, the fellow still couldn't find us, and claimed he was in front of our place.  So, when the pizzeria called at 1:00 pm, we were both very upset and told the person we were cancelling the order.  We wanted hot pizza, and after 30 minutes, it would likely be cold in this weather.  After hanging up on the owner, he left me a message telling me to F-Off!  With an attitude like this, and a screwed up delivery, we'll never order from this place again - a sad thing, as this was the best pizza joint in the neighborhood for delivery.

I got home around 4:30 pm, and found that a plumber was doing work downstairs.  What was being done, I don't know.  But I'll find out at our next co-op board meeting.  At least, the work being done did not affect my apartment. 

Eastern Caribbean Cruise 2025 - Sea Day #5 (12/06/25)

 

As we approach New York, both RQS and I dread our return home.  No, it's not because our cruise is ending.  Instead, it's because we're coming back to some of the coldest weather we've had in a while.  When I look at the NYC weather forecast, I see subfreezing weather for the day we return.  That means that we'll have to be outside, on the waterfront, while we wait for our ride home.  And then, once at RQS's place, I'll have to cart most of my bags up to Croton that same day.  If I'm lucky, my car won't be covered by too much snow.  But I won't know until I get home.  

- - - - - -

This morning started with another Room Service breakfast. This time, it came early.  Only one problem: they forgot to bring sweetener with the coffee.  But we made do.  Around 11, we left the room to have a snack and to do some laundry.  Around 1, we returned to the room with our clean laundry and all traces of breakfast were gone. I had a table I could fold clothes on!

Around 3:15, we went to afternoon tea, expecting to meet a new acquaintance there. She wasn't there when tea service started, but she did appear at our table a bit late.  I told her of my idea for an adaptive garment, and she loved it - she doesn't have the use of one arm, and my garment idea would have solved one of her needs, making it easier to get dressed in the morning.  While there, I showed her a few pictures of me in Marian mode, and she loved it.  She wants to find out more at some later time.

- - - - - -

Tonight would be the last gala night of the cruise, and today's laundry run gave me a clean white shirt for the night.  Yay!  I don't have to break open another new shirt for this time in a suit and tie!  So I took out the suit one last time for this trip, and went to dinner with RQS.  This was the night of the chef's parade, where key restaurant personnel were saluted for the hard work they do.  I preferred something like this, where we didn't have to completely disrupt our meals, than to endure Princess's Baked Alaska parade towards the end of their cruises.

 

Eastern Caribbean Cruise 2025 - Barbados Day 2 (12/03/25)

Day 2 in Barbados, and we decided to stay on the ship and rest.  Neither of us wanted to go back outside and deal with the heat and humidity in this part of the world, and then get dressed up for another gala night.

But first...

We decided to sleep late, and go to the buffet for our first meal of the day - lunch.  I find it amazing that a buffet as small as that on this ship is big enough to serve the passengers on this ship.  However, I think it's because the main dining room is open for lunch - even on port days.

After lunch, we went back to the cabin, where RQS got ready to go to the gym to exercise.  I, on the other hand, took this chance to start work on this daily post, as well as working on my travel blog.  It gives me something to do when i don't want to go outside.  

- - - - - -

Dinnertime came again, and we got dressed in our best and headed to the main dining room for gala night (there would be 3 on this cruise).  We enjoyed a nice dinner, and went to a lounge to listen to some music.  I befriended a woman interested in my thoughts on cruising, and I introduced RQS to her when RQS returned from a bio break.  It was a nice way to end a nice day. And we're looking forward to a similar day tomorrow.
 

Eastern Caribbean Cruise 2025 - Domenica (12/01/25)

 

Domenica.  It looks like it might be a nice place to walk around. However,  we weren't in the mood to get off the ship today.  So we stayed on the ship, with two things in mind: 

• Laundry
• Resolution of Internet issue.

But first we had breakfast in the buffet....

After breakfast, we walked onto the promenade deck to get a view of the island. nd that's where I had a mishap that could have caused me some serious problems.  I had decided to sit down in one of the lounge chairs.  It collapsed forward because it wasn't set up right, and I fell forward.  This wouldn't be so bad, save that my cell phone almost fell off the ship.  Several more inches, and I would have lost a general purpose credit card, 2 gas cards, and my OMNY (NYC Mass Transit) card in addition to the phone.  But I was lucky, and only had a minor loss of pride.

Our next stop was to the purser's office, where we got the internet issue fixed - RQS did buy access for me, and the lady at the desk logged me into the ship's wi-fi under my account.  (Now to get the default settings fixed for my laptop.)  Finally, RQS and I can get on the internet at the same time, and not share a single account!

- - - - - -

After a chance to rest, we went down to the laundry room to wash a week's worth of clothes.  We only had 90 minutes to wash and dry our clothes, but the machines were running slow.  Even after 45 minutes of drying time, some items were still slightly damp - and that would have to wait until after dinner.

We arrived at the dining room at 6:30, and met the same 2 people who sat next to us last night.  Again, we had a pleasant chat over dinner.  And again, we noticed minor inconsistencies in staff service in the restaurant, none of which affected our enjoyment of the meal, but should be noted to management to prevent this from getting worse in future cruises.

Once back in our cabin RQS noticed something about the tour we would be taking the next morning in Barbados.  It leaves almost as soon as we get to the port, and we will need to hustle to make it to the tour bus on time.  This meant we'd have to get up very early in the morning for us, and that we'd skip tonight's show in the ship's theater. 

 

Eastern Caribbean Cruise 2025 - St. Maarten (11/30/25)

 

We got up early and went to the buffet.  Normally, this woud not be our choice, but we had a shore excursion to go to, and we didn't want to miss it.

Around 9:30, we left the ship and walked to the small tour bus that would take us on a 4 hour trip around St. Maarten.  Our tour guide took us to several beaches - not for swimming, but for the views.  And then we went to an Iguana feeding station, where, for a simple gratuity, one would have a chance to feed an Iguana.  It was fun to see one of the iguanas greedily go after some leaves put in front of him, as if there would be no one there tomorrow.  But there would be, as December 1st is the official start of the tourist season, and there would be larger crowds passing by this informal tourist attraction.

Next, we were off to the capital of the French side of the island, and stopped for a bite to eat.  Three currencies are used on St. Maarten: the Lesser Antilles Guilder (St. Maarten and Curacao), the Euro, and the US Dollar.  Many places were treating the dollar at par with the euro, even though the euro trades at 10% higher value.  So, when I got the bill for lunch, I saw the Euro price with a conversion for US Dollars.

After lunch, we were off to the Airport/Maho Beach, where crazy people have decided to try getting blown back by the jet blast.  Although we were not lucky enough to see people try this when a jet took off, there were a lot of people looking to get a thrill by being directly under the flight path pf the planes going in to/out of the airport.

Finally, it was back to the ship.  It was a long day, and it was only 2:30 when we walked back onto the ship. 

- - - - - -

After a chance to rest, RQS and I went to dinner.  As usual, dinner  was tasty, and I had a chance to taste Haggis.  Yum!  The rest of the meal was good as well, including the pheasant.  While at our table, a couple from Ontario started up a chat with us, and we shared pleasantries while eating our dinners.

When dinner was over, we went back to our cabin.  RQS was still upset at having bought internet for 2 devices, but only was credited for one.  I looked at her copy of what was purchased, and I figured out why we were told we only had internet for 1 device - a combination of Cunard's wonky website and her use of the English language - she wasn't thinking like a systems analyst in her use of language, and that got the original internet specialist on the ship to think we bought internet for 1 device.  Once she showed me the proof that she had purchased internet for 2 device, she marched down to the purser's office to get things fixed.  I expect that will take place tomorrow morning.

- - - - - -

Once the internet issue was taken care of, it was time to go to see the stage show - Symphony.  This was far from what we expected, but I'm glad we stayed.  We were expecting a miniature symphonic concert.  Instead, we got the ship's musicians and singers performing/singing Post -WW2 20th century pop music along with a prerecorded segment from the Royal Alpert Hall Orchestra for John Williams and Beatles' selections.  It was much better than I would have thought, given that there was a prerecorded segment being part of the show.

Eastern Caribbean Cruise 2025 - Sea Day #2 (11/28/25)

 

The Christmas tree, the true sign that holiday season is coming.  On the QM2, the ship's staff is quietly installing Xmas decorations, and this tree "magically" popped up just after Thanksgiving. 

Now that we're halfway to our first port, the weather outside seems to be getting a little warmer.  Or, this is how it felt next to a window in the dining room, where RQS had to take off her sweater to feel comfortable.  Could it be that we finally have a sunny day?  Maybe.  But I think it's because we've gone South enough for the ship to start warming up from the outside in.

Our alarms got us moving around 7:45, and I was the first one in the shower.  Surprisingly, we were both ready to go to breakfast a little early.  When we arrived at Breakfast, there were several people waiting to escort people to their tables.  We were seated near a window, and could feel the warmth from the outside, now that we are in warmer climes.

While I was typing in the basis for this blog entry, RQS went outside (while it was still dry) to do her walk around the promenade deck.  I figured that I'd then continue work on my cruise blog, and started to slice and dice things to make the other blog more useful.  Things such as Cunard's wonky app had to be described, and I had to dedicate an entire section to Cunard's wonky technology.

Around 6 pm, we went for dinner, and had our hits and misses as usual.  Out of the 3 main dishes we ordered, only my lamb dish passed muster.  The chicken dumplings had no taste, while the chicken with Moroccan spices was a little too far out there for RQS's taste.

It felt like we had a long day - only because we were up since 7:30 am.  I can only imagine how we'll be feeling in St. Maarten, as we'll be out in the tropical sun for several hours. 

 

Eastern Caribbean Cruise 2025 - Final Preparation (11/25/25)

 

This is going to be a quick post.  The last thing I wanted to do is trigger any problems when getting to the ship. So I made sure to organize things in a way that I had everything in a convenient location when we got to the cruise terminal.  I made extra sure to set things up in a way that would make sense when I would be in a rush and not have time to think.  My passport and boarding pass was safely stored in my backpack, along with the computer I'd be making daily blog entries.  My clothes were stuffed into suitcases, and my main CPAP machine was attached to my carry-on bag, so that I wouldn't forget it at RQS's place. 

RQS, on the other hand, was still doing her last minute packing, while I was sitting on the sofa watching TV.  She had a luxury that I didn't have - extra days to pack, as we were leaving from her place.  She was ready around 10 pm, and we were finally able to relax and prepare ourselves emotionally for the trip yet to come.

- - - - - -

Now that I got the essentials out of the way, I should note that I got small bills from my bank before packing up the CPAP machine for the trip to RQS's place.  She tasked me with picking up snacks, and I found a big bag of Twizzlers for us to munch on.  Neither of us needed to have this sugary treat, but I figured that it would take up less space than pretzels, and would be consumed more slowly.  I'm still not sure if this was a wise choice.  But, you only live once - unless you're James Bond. 

 

By the time you read this, I'll be back home and running at full speed.

 

This would be a short weekend with RQS, and a last chance to prepare for the above cruise.  I would need to drop off my bags at RQS's place, and then go home to park my car before going back to RQS's place before cruise day.  Any business I needed to take care of before the cruise had to be done now, as I couldn't do it while on the cruise.

- - - - - -

My plans for the Friday before the cruise were to see my doctor, finish my packing for the cruise, and then drive to RQS's place for a "short" weekend.  ("Short" means going down on Friday and driving back on Sunday.)  The first think on my task list was a doctor's visit.  We discussed things I need to do (lose weight, having gained 5 lbs.), as well as getting a prescription for a GLP-1 drug.  Well, he put thru the prescription to my local drug store (probably without checking first to see if Medicare covered the drug) and I balked at a $500/month price for the prescription.  There is no way that I am going to spend that much on a drug to help me lose weight (and get my Type-2 under better control), and I will tell him so when I see him just before Xmas.

Next on my list of things to do was getting money from the bank, as I'll need some folding money to take with me when sailing between the islands.  (Now, I have to get small bills, so that I can make buy small value things in ports.)  That took place without problems, as I got to the bank before the ATM shut down before weekly replenishment.

Finally, it was time for me to drive to Queens.  I was out the door by 2:30, and I made good time until I reached the Van Wyck Expressway.  There, traffic slowed to a standstill without reason.  So, I bailed, and went on local streets to keep moving.  (If I bail at Jewel Avenue, I pass by a former acquaintance's apartment house - someone who is better lost than found.)   I was able to snake through local streets to get to RQS's place, and asked RQS to meet me where I parked to unload all the stuff I had with me.

Once back at RQS's place and having a chance to rest, we ordered a pizza and relaxed for the rest of the evening.

- - - - - -

Saturday came, and we walked to the supermarket to take care of food shopping that will last RQS until the day we leave on our cruise.  I pointed out the Porterhouse Steak that we both drooled over, then selected the salmon we had for dinner.  (This was the first time that RQS did everything right - the salmon was perfectly cooked, and the rice was tasty; She gets in her cooking practice when I'm around, and I'm sure to always show my appreciation for her efforts.)  

After dinner, RQS finished up most of her packing, and we were able to relax again.  Both of us were exhausted from what went on during the prior week, and we were glad to have each other to relax with.

- - - - - -

On Sunday, I had to go home to take care of things.  I had an Amazon package being delivered, and I needed a break - I'll be with RQS for almost 2 weeks, and wanted some alone time that I couldn't get when she's around.

Neither of us got moving until noon.  I took my time getting showered and dressed, as I didn't want to rush home.  RQS had to drop off some goods in a donation bin, and then pick up prescriptions at the drug store.  So, I dropped her off at 3:30, and was home before 5.  It was nice to be home, and tomorrow I'll likely book a cruise on NCL that will give me double loyalty points and take care of the "gratuities" as part of the fare.  If I can couple this with another discount, this cruise will be relatively cheap - which is important, as I'll be the one paying for everything.

- - - - - -

I woke up early on Monday, alone in my bed and I'm glad I did - I was about to get some calls from my doctor's office to schedule a test, and then a call from the lab which was to perform the test.  By the time noon came around, I was tired again, and took a nap.

For those of my readers who are unfamiliar with the description of my apartment, the place needs to have windows open in cooler weather, as I get too much heat.  (There is a flaw in my building's design - the central heating core runs through my apartment and the apartment below me.  Being on the top floor, I get extra warmth both from a Southern exposure and from the heating core.)  So, I feel that my nap was triggered by the apartment's warmth. But I digress....

When I felt rested, I got online and booked a cruise, this time solely at my expense.  It was a long delayed treat for RQS.  All she has to do is correct her loyalty awards number, and we both get our credits for this cruise.... 

- - - - - - 

Since I'll be too busy over the next couple of days, the next post here will be the start of my latest cruise related entries....   

 

A true "Bucket List" cruise.

 

This is a cruise I'd like to take someday in the future.  It's 28 days long, and it goes to ports I'll never have the chance to go on other trips.  One of my friends from game night has taken a 1-way 2-week cruise from New York to Iceland, touching at some of these ports.  But I'd want to do a round trip, closed loop cruise and spend the better part of a week in Iceland.

- - - - - -

Yesterday, I found out how much RQS receives in pension and social security benefits, and I realized that she has many more demands on her monthly income than I have on an income 20% more than hers.  She'd never be able to afford such a trip on her own.  So, if I were to book this trip, I might as well pay for her share of a cabin, as it would cost me the same either way.  

There is one problem with this cruise - The last time it's being offered (right now) is in 2026.  Instead of costing $6600/pp, a similar 2027 cruise will cost $11400/pp and last 35 days.  However, it will be a Solar Eclipse cruise, and the cruise line is charging as much money as they can for the privilege of seeing the sun disappear from the sky for 4 minutes.  Hopefully, the cruise line will offer something similar to the 28-day cruise in 2028.

- - - - - -

In 2027, I'm hoping to be able to take RQS on a Hawaii cruise.  Sadly, with the new Hawaii taxes that start in 2026, it will cost at least 14% more expensive than it was this year (ignoring inflation).  It will still be worth the money spent.  But it will likely be the last time I get the chance to visit this state, as there are no discount ways to cruise the Hawaiian islands.

There are so many cruises I'd love to take.  I'm lucky - I have already checked off 3 of the most common bucket list cruises, with more to go.  Hopefully, I'll have both health and money to finish off my list. 

I'm starting to pack for my upcoming cruise

 

I miss being able to cruise as Marian.  The Orange Snowflake is out to erase transgenders from the earth, claiming "it is all in our heads."  One problem - it is easier to change the body than to rewire the brain.  And even if it could be done, should it be done?  When the person who holds the presidency has no morality, no sense of justice, and no respect for others, then how can anyone cis or trans feel safe?

Safety for us trans people is important.  For those like me, we can go stealth and not worry much - but we still have our worries.  When presenting as a male, my whiteness helps keep me safe from the ICE raids going on in neighboring towns.  So, if I have to make contact with anyone from the Federal Government, I've decided to do so as a white male and assert my "privilege". This is not real safety.  I've been hassled by a TSA Officer before flying to London, simply because he had a bug up his ass.  Could you imagine what he'd have been like if I were presenting as a female for an international flight?

I remind people that Cisgender people are not safe.  The husband of one of my friends is an immigrant from the Philippines. He is not white, but he is a male US Citizen who has communications issues.  He lives in a town which has suffered ICE raids, and my friend (his wife) fears what could happen if he goes out during one of these raids. He could not advocate effectively for himself.  Given that we have deported US citizens caught in one of these ICE roundups, do you think he'd be safe.

RQS is a fair skinned black, somewhere in the mocha shade of skin tone.  She'd likely be tolerably safe, as she has an "American" accent. And that relative safety would likely extend to many "American Blacks" who speak with an "American" accent familiar to many ICE agents.  But that doesn't extend to their initial treatment by these "authorities", as there has been a different standard of justice for whites and blacks in America. I must note that Asian Americans may have similar treatment to American Blacks, but would be subject to similar risk factors.  Yet, even if I were a second or third generation Chinese American, would I feel safe if ICE was raiding a Chinatown neighborhood as they recently did in New York City?

The promise of the Orange Snowflake was to round up the criminals who were in the US illegally and deport them first.  Instead, he is aiming for quantity over quality, scooping up law abiding people (here legally or illegally) to make artificial quotas.  So, a wise gender nonconforming person can not feel safe in a society where every touch point with the Federal Government puts her/him at risk.

So, I've started my packing, and I'm disappointed that I won't be able to wear my summer dresses again. But, I still wouldn't do so on this cruise, as many of the islands in the Caribbean have similar backwards attitudes as our president.  I'll still be relatively comfortable and safe, but I won't be as happy as if I could present as my true self. 

 

 

 

 

 

She's going home, bye, bye....

 

I always feel a little sad when RQS goes home.  I love having her near me, but I also feel a little freer when I have the time to  take care of my own affairs without worrying about her feelings.  We have a good thing going, where our periodic absences from each other's lives makes the fondness grow stronger.

Today, RQS had to go home.  She had things to take care of at home, and I had things to do here as well. So, after relaxing all day (and having some of our leftover lobster), we got showered and dressed (me in a $5.00 dress I picked up at Burlington a few years ago) and prepared to go to the station. So, around 3:15, we left for the train station, me without my wallet in my handbag.  Well, after dropping RQS off, I found out that I left my wallet at home while I was on the drive thru lane at McDonald's.  AARGH!  You can guess how careful I drove home - I'm glad nothing happened on my way home.

Next, I was off to Walmart with my wallet in hand.  It was time for me to replace my car's cell phone charger.  When I brought the charger and cable up to the cash register, the credit card reader had problems with my card.  Why, I do not know.  But I ended up having to swipe the card instead of inserting the card to charge this to my account.  Later, I'd find out that my credit card company's fraud detection system had texted me about this transaction, and I okayed it.  Luckily, I had a second charge card for another transaction I'd make in the same store.

- - - - - -

When I got home, I found that RQS had a problem with her taxes. (I won't go into details here.)  When our tax lady looked into it, she found that Fran (who RQS used for her taxes 2 years ago) made a mistake, and RQS got flagged for a problem with her 2022 taxes.  OUCH!  This makes me glad that I had to do a last minute shuffle and find our current tax preparer.  I just wonder what tax year 2025 will look for me....

 

 

PS: The tax problem was with a previous tax preparer's mistake - The State/Local forms were not filled in correctly.  The person who did the taxes did this two years in a row.  I'm glad that both of us have someone good on the case these days - I almost got stuck using this person, and dodged a bullet with my taxes.

Guess who was the birthday gal! (No, not me.)

 

I rarely drive to TCL's house these days, as she is uncomfortable with me when presenting as female. So, I save the times I plan to see her for when I'm presenting as male.  This means that I visit her much less than I visited a former cruise partner when we were still friends. Today was a day I was presenting as a male, and it was a perfect day to visit TCL.

But first...

RQS's friend was in town today, and we had made arrangements to meet her for lunch.  Of course, this dictated that this would be Mario's day out. So I made sure that we'd see TCL for a belated birthday dinner.  While I was at it, I also scheduled my Covid vaccination for today as well.

Waking up at 9 am, RQS and I went to CVS, so that I could get my arm stuck.  Then it was off to a small diner in Yonkers where we'd meet RQS's friend (and family) for lunch.  This diner was tiny, and not geared for 5 people (plus infant) to have a leisurely meal.  Yet, we were able to get a table quickly and we were able to have lunch together.

RQS's friend started off by telling us about her sister falling ill overseas.  I won't describe the symptoms here, but she has been stuck in a clinic in Fiji.  Travel insurance does not cover her evacuation to America.  Instead, it covers evacuation to the nearest place where appropriate care can be given - Australia.  AARGH!  Now, RQS's friend is trying to figure out a way to get her sister home and under the care of American doctors.  Although we talked about other things, this was the overriding focus of our get together, and something still being worked on as we left the diner.

Next, we were off to New Jersey.  RQS had to go to Land's End to return a coat, and came out with another at a lower price.  (Everything was on sale at 50% of the list price.)  Once done at Lands End, we killed 90 minutes before driving to TCL's place to pick her up for a belated birthday dinner.

The 3 of us made it to a nearby Italian restaurant just before the crowds came in.  We had a leisurely meal, TCL being greeted as a regular at the restaurant.  Around 6:45, I got a subtle hint from one of the wait staff that they'd like to seat new people  (Don't think this was an unreasonable hint - there was over 15 people waiting inside the doorway, and another 15 waiting outside in the chilly weather.)  So, I signaled TCL after she finished the last bite of dessert that it was time to leave.  When I pointed out how many people were waiting to get in, she understood why it was time to leave.

It was a long day.  And an expensive one, as I dropped $250 on two different meals.  Yet, it was a good day.  RQS got to see her friend, and I finally got the chance to see TCL

A nice way to end restaurant week.

 

RQS and I had only one thing on our docket today: A Restaurant Week dinner at Le Provençal Bistro,  I've eaten here before with Vicki, and loved the food.  This would be my first time here with RQS, and I knew she'd be impressed.

- - - - - -

We didn't get moving until late morning, and putzed around most of the day.  However, I had a phone call to make - I had to call the co-op board president and develop a game plan for our next meeting.  We have 4 applicants looking to buy apartments in our complex, and have to find the time to interview them all.  In addition, we have other issues that need discussion, and we have to fit everything into a 4 hour block.

Once done with the co-op business, my GI tract decided to act up.  Luckily, I still had enough time to get showered, made up, and dressed, so that we could make a 6 pm dining time.  Unlike RQS who decided to wear slacks, I decided to wear a nice casual sweater dress for dinner. We were able to get out the door by 5:15, leaving us enough time to fill the car up with gas, and still make it to Mamaroneck on time.  

Arriving at the restaurant at 6, it seemed to take forever to have our order taken. Service was slow and spotty, as I expect that one of the servers was not able to make it for the last day of Restaurant Week (an always busy time before Holiday Season).  However, this was balanced by the excellent food in front of us.  RQS had the Salmon Tartare, while I had the Garlic Sausage for appetizers, then both of us had Mussels for a main course, followed by chocolate mousse tarts for dessert.  Both of us would go back here again.  But the next time we do, it will be for a special dinner.

- - - - - -

When we got home, I behaved like a typical woman - I couldn't wait to take off my bra.  As I've mentioned before, I'm very comfortable in my female presentation, and have no problems going out in the NYC metropolitan area as a woman.  Hopefully, I'll be again able to travel the USA in the future as a woman, and go back to "Cruising Pretty" soon.

The longer I'm out and about, the less I write about being TG

 

When I started blogging, I used to talk about how I worried about whether people would clock me as being TG.  I discussed things such as voice training, meeting people as Marian, and other things that would set me apart from cisgender women.  Over the years, I have gained much more confidence in who I am and where I can safely go.  But people like me are under attack from the Orange Snowflake.  Most of us don't flaunt what we are.  We simply want to go about our lives without being treated less than human from certain social groups such as religious fundamentalists. 

This entry is not about being TG as much as it is about life in general.  For the most part, the vast majority of people lead humdrum lives.  Even if one has become famous, such as being a movie star, a sports player, and a politician, most of our lives consist of relatively boring activities such as shopping, doing the laundry, cleaning our houses, etc.. So, what should anyone write about?  I'm not one who makes a big deal about what I'm wearing these days, save that I want to hide my less than feminine features.  Going into the ladies' room is no longer a big deal when I'm presenting as Marian - I just go into the stall, get my clothes out of the way, sit down and relieve myself.  Most people don't bat a eyelash, especially since most fat people tend to be "invisible" to others.

For a little over a week, I've been wearing red nail polish.  As a consequence, I've been presenting as a female. The only reason I removed my nail polish today was that it was starting to chip away.  I figure that I'll go get my nails done when RQS goes home, as I don't want to spend the time to redo my nails while she's here.  

- - - - - -

Today has become a sort of "maintenance day".  RQS decided to reorganize my kitchen cabinets, while I decided to pay some bills and to prepare to do laundry.  Since the light over the kitchen counter got damaged, we will end up going to Lowe's to pick up a replacement later on.  While we were sitting down, we booked a couple of shore excursions for our upcoming cruise.  Now, we have 3 out of 5 shore days where we have things to see when in port.

Cruising has become our preferred mode of taking a vacation, as it gives us the most bang per buck. We keep looking at cruises we can take.  I'm hoping that the snowflake is removed from office so that sanity can rule in the US again.  Then, and only then, will I consider the cruise I want to take - a transatlantic crossing on the Queen Mary 2, where I can return to the States as Marian.

Until then, I'll just have to keep living my humdrum life....

You no foola me. There ain't no Santy Claws.

 

I love the Marx Brothers.  Almost 100 years ago, the Marxes exposed America for what it is in their first 5 films for Paramount.  In The Cocoanuts, they used the Florida land boom as a backdrop on which they hung their jokes; in Animal Crackers, they skewer that pomposity of high society; in Monkey Business, they have fun with the nature of the Transatlantic Crossing, being stowaways, and America's love for celebrity; in Horse Feathers, they have a field day with colleges, football, gambling, and speakeasies; and finally, with Duck Soup, they expose high level diplomacy and war for what it is - human foolishness. 

So, why did I start off with the Marxes today?  Well, RQS and I are gluttons for punishment.  I finally had a good excuse to buy a cruise for RQS as an Xmas gift, and we'll be going on the cruise sometime in the new year.  What does that say about us?  There is a feeling of absurdity I have about what we're doing, as I wonder whether RQS can keep up my pace.  Are we living like we're dancing in the ballroom while the Titanic heads into an iceberg?

With this new cruise, it will be the 3rd time that I've traveled this planned route (New York - Cape Canaveral - Nassau, Bahamas - Cruise Line Private Island, Bahamas - New York), albeit with different cruise line private islands. As of yet, I have little interest in leaving the ship in the Bahamas.  I might want to visit the Space Center when in Cape Canaveral. But, I've been there before and only want to see the area from which rockets take off into space, and not want to see the amusement park like areas of the center.  Luckily, RQS and I will be happy if we never get off the ship.

I am not a fan of cruise line private islands.  NCL has its Great Stirrup Cay (GSC).  MSC has its Ocean Cay Marine Preserve, Royal Caribbean has its Perfect Day at CocoCay.  It seems like every cruise line is getting into the private island business - and for good reason.  All money spent on these islands is captured by the cruise line with little going back into the local community.  Since I am not a beach bum (I spent too much time in the sun while I was young), I have little reason to get off the ship at these islands.  And now that NCL has decided to exclude GSC from a ship's drink packages, I feel that NCL has again reduced the value provided for money spent for a cruise, making its private Island even less attractive for me.

So, why did I choose a winter cruise with a less than optimal itinerary?  Well, I wanted to get away again, as well as finally give my gift to RQS.  In short, I wanted to show her in a concrete way that I care for her. This cruise does just that.  Hopefully, RQS will have a good time on this cruise.

    

Not Ready for Prime Time (Again)

 

This afternoon, I treated RQS to an afternoon performance of "Not Ready For Prime Time."  It was the second time I would be seeing this play, and it would be worth the effort I made to see it again.

But first...

Late last night, I saw that they opened up the rush tickets for this play a little early.  So I booked front row tickets for RQS and myself at rush ticket prices around midnight, and left a message for RQS that I had tickets in hand.

The next morning (today), I took my time in starting to move and missed both trains into the city that I wanted to catch.  Luckily, there was one more train that I could catch to get me to the theater on time. However, I ended up parking at the far end of the parking lot, as none of the "midday spots" (as I call spots that open up when people return from the city after the morning's commuter rush) had yet opened up near the parking pay station.  From the get-go, I knew that I'd get in my 2+ miles of walking today.

The train got into Grand Central at 1:45.  After taking the shuttle to Times Square, and then the local to 50th Street, I still had over 1/2 mile to walk before I got to the theater. I was lucky to get there by 2:15, and I found RQS waiting for me having arrived 10 minutes earlier.  (She took an Uber to get across town, avoiding a lot of the walking I had decided to do.)  Once seated, we both enjoyed the play.  At the end of the play, one of the actors prompted RQS to get out of her seat and dance - too bad I couldn't get a picture of that for her.  She felt that it was well worth the effort to get to see this play, and I felt it was well worth seeing it a second time.

When the play let out, we took a taxi back to Grand Central and caught the next train back to Croton. Exactly 7 hours after I parked the car, I was turning on the ignition so we could go home.  It was a good, but mildly expensive day out.