It's amazing how apathetic some people can be.

 

As readers of this blog know, I am on my co-op's board.  Tonight we held our third yearly meeting, where we failed to reach a quorum.  Given that our apartments are sizable investments, it surprises me that so few people show up for our yearly meeting.  Tonight, we had only 33% of the shareholders present that we would need to have an official meeting.

Unlike most co-op board meetings, I can talk about what we discussed tonight, as it occurred in a public forum.  Before people showed up, I made reference to my transgender nature because one person didn't respect our co-op's president and deferred to me because I often present as a white male.  (Little does he know!)  I asked this woman whether she thinks it is because she is black or if she is female.  And she thinks that it's a little bit of both.  That's when I showed her a couple of pictures of RQS, noting that RQS is what used to be called as "passable".  (Later on, RQS reminded me that when summer comes, one can more easily see the color in her skin.)

There was a point where our president passed a question to me to answer, and I mentioned a lot of things to explain why we can't give more notice for potential maintenance increases.  Hopefully, I was able to satisfy the shareholder's need for an answer.

I was glad when the meeting ended, as I was tired and wanted to go home to rest.  And after my nightly call to RQS, rest I did....

 

This weekend flew by way too quickly!

 

I'm not going to say too much about this past weekend, save that it flew by way too quickly!

Friday came, and I picked up RQS in Marian mode, as it would be the only day I'd be able to present as a female until next week.  After a night's rest, we decided to go out and see Ennio, the documentary about the great movie score writer, Ennio Morricone.  RQS used to make jokes about this man's name (nothing nasty, just cute), but now she knows how respected he is in the music world.  If you haven't had the chance to listen to this man's music, you must be living in an impermeable bubble.  From scores for "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly" to "The Hateful Eight", Morricone has proven himself to be a composer in the same league as Bach, Beethoven, and Brahms.  So, if you can, see this documentary - it will open your eyes to the greatness of this man in the world of music.

Sunday was very different, as we met TCL for dinner in her neighborhood.  Yum!  What more can I say?  Only one bad thing I can say - the restaurant isn't closer to me.  We could have chatted a bit longer, but all of us were getting tired after 2 1/2 hours of chatting at the restaurant.  All too quickly, Monday came, and RQS had to go home.  I accompanied her to Grand Central, then departed to pick up my taxes. Now, I don't have to worry about this task anymore.  Yet, I missed seeing the eclipse.  That's not such a bad thing, as I'll have 20 years to prepare for the next one.

A visit to Universal Standard, and then to Game Night

 

I try to go to game night every night our hosts invite us in to their home.  Sadly, I found out something about two of our regulars that I almost wish I didn't know.

But first....

A few days ago, I registered for an in-person shopping visit to Universal Standard.  Having been there for sample sales, I was prepared for almost anything.  Would the place be organized mayhem, such as it is when they hold a sample sale?  Or, would the place look like a normal store, with a little bit of everything to try on.  Today, things were much better than expected, as I was greeted with a glass of Proseco, and then the stylist asked me what I was looking for (mostly dresses).

When I go to Universal Standard's sample sales, I wear a unitard, over which I wear a shirtdress as a duster.  This way, I can take off the top layer and be able to try on clothes without other women seeing that I am wearing falsies.  I could have avoided the headaches of doing so today, as I had a dressing room all to myself.  Given this unexpected luxury, I stripped off the unitard, and got dressed in several of the outfits selected for me.  (I wish I could have taken pictures of me in each outfit.)

The first of these outfits was a white shirt with linen pants with a stretch waistband in aqua..  If the shirt were a little longer, I might have bought this outfit.  But, if my "tucking" comes undone, I don't want my pants to give away what genitalia I possess.  (I still may consider it in the future, but not right now.)  Next was a Polo shirtdress in "Botanic" (think of a rich forest green).  It looked and felt good on me.   But I didn't feel like dropping $138 for this dress right now.  After this came two items that wouldn't work on me, and I didn't bother trying on.  And then came the button-up shirt dresses I had problems with. Although the stylist (read: saleslady) said most of what she selected looked good on me, I felt that 2 of the 3 shirtdresses ranged from "not worth buying" (due to bad button design) to "acceptable as a gift" (I'd wear it if I got one as a gift, but wouldn't buy it) to "I'd buy it if I had extra money to spend".  The last of these dresses had the right length for me to wear as a dress alone, and could be worn with leggings, or worn as a duster.  What surprised me was that a jumpsuit looked nice on me.  I'd  still want to wear a shirt of jacket as a topper.  But I'm thinking of going for it.  Sadly, I had to leave without buying anything.  So, I returned home to rest a little before going back out to game night.

- - - - - - 

Game night was nothing special - even though I didn't get the chance to play anything.  There were only 6 people there (including myself), as 2 of the other regulars didn't show up.  I found out over a chat that went on at the game table, that one regular didn't like another regular because she learns new games slowly.  (This fellow is a hard core gamer who likes being the center of attention, and he doesn't get along that well with people who aren't as aggressive as he is in game play.)   Although I don't have problems with him, I now wonder what he says about me behind my back.  But that's another story.

I started to have a good time when the hostess and her son came back from his weekly Chess tournament.  Today, he got beat by someone more skilled than he is.  But he is learning quickly.  First, I chatted with the hostess for a while about things in general.  Then, I chatted with the son about chess.  I told him that I used to be decent as a kid, but I'm a terrible player 50 years later.  It'll be fun to relearn the game from him.

While at game night, Vicki sent me a message.  She'd like to go to the Flax Designs warehouse sale, where they are cleaning out inventory in what they call a "Barn Sale".  Although it will take over 3 hours (each way) to get there and back, the sale prices can't be beat.  So I said Yes to Vicki and offered the chance to have RQS come with us.  (RQS said no, so we'll shift our weekend plans by a day or so that weekend.)

It looks like I'll be doing even more shopping soon!

 

 

Goosebumps and the Subway

This past weekend, RQS and I rode the subway more than usual.  First, we found remnants of a subway station entrance that is still used for location shoots.  And then, we caught a film crew packing up for the day.  

But first....

On Saturday, RQS and I went to the Nom Wah Tea Parlor (Nolita) to feast on some Dim Sum.  It was been a long time since we were there, and we didn't want to risk not being able to get served at their Chinatown location.  While there, we saw some subway times reminiscent of the subway station we just exited:

When I asked the fellow behind the counter whether the store's dining area included part of a subway entrance, he confirmed my suspicions and told me that the site was still used for an occasional film shoot.  (The staircase in the last picture above would have led into Nom Wah's dining area, on the other side of the Bowery from where the current entrance/exit is..)

But this was not all of our subway stories for the weekend.

Earlier on the weekend, NYC DOT (Dept. of Transportation) posted quite a few "No Parking" signs through RQS's area of Queens.  The parking restrictions were there to facilitate Goosebumps' film crew in getting their equipment and people to the site.  Given that I am very familiar with film crews, having worked near a studio in Lower Manhattan which always had film support vehicles and trailers on the block, I was still very surprised to find how many parking spaces that Goosebumps needed.

I made the "command decision" for the two of us to pass by where they were filing today's action.  And we saw the crew shutting down production for the day/  What I found most interesting was the renaming of the station above the staircase to the station master's kiosk.  (Look for Avenue X, with an orange circle with a white F route ID on it.)  We didn't know we were in South Brooklyn! 😇

Seeing everything made me very glad that I didn't bring my new car into the city this weekend.  At best, I'd have to leave RQS on Sunday afternoon.  At worst, my car would have been towed (and damaged) because I didn't leave before the tow trucks arrived.  Either way, I got the chance to see how much it takes to do a location shoot in NYC.

This is one time I'm NOT a tourist in NYC!

1960's Music

 

New York City is filled with many old buildings, many of them over 150 years old.  The above building has to have changed hands many times, so the 1873 and 1906 markers above the windows no longer have much meaning in today's world.  Was the company who built this building founded in 1873, and moved to this building in 1906?  So much history in this city has been torn down, paved over, or altered beyond recognition.  

This weekend, RQS and I went to see an off-Broadway play called "A Sign of the Times."  It's plot (or what little you can call a plot) is there to tie 1960's era songs together to tell a little tale of a small town girl who comes to NYC in the 1960's and finds the world much different than she expected.  As much as I love 1960's music, I'm not sure of what to make of this play.  RQS enjoyed the music very much.  But I was underwhelmed about how the songs were assembled.  Although I loved the songs and enjoyed the performers singing these songs, I felt that many of them were flat - because of how the people who orchestrated this piece of fluff changed the feel of some of these songs.

Would I recommend seeing this play when in NYC?  Yes.  Like the outside of the above building, the music from the Brill Building keeps getting reworked for better and worse.  All the casual listener of 1960's music will remember may be the original performances and maybe occasional covers of these songs.  But these were great songs, with only one clinker (in my humble opinion) in the bunch.  And I'm glad that someone has put them together for a new audience....

Closing out a weekend.

 

I accidentally deleted my original post for today.  So here goes....

Saturday was a rainy day where RQS and I would rather have stayed home.  However, I had taxes to take care of, and I had to take them to my new preparer.  Several traffic jams and delays caused by bad drivers losing control of their cars, we made it to my new preparer and were ready to make our trip to Suffern, NY to see the new Ghostbusters film.  

Why Suffern? you may ask.  There were closer theaters which involved much less driving.  Well, Saturday night's showing was accompanied by a Wurlitzer Organ being played prior to the 7:30 showing.  With the rain and road floods, we barely got to Suffern in time to get a bite to eat and enjoy the organ performance.

Too bad that we didn't stop somewhere other than the pizza parlor near the theater.  I won't name the place, as the food was mediocre at best.  But if you are in Suffern, skip the pizza and go for Mexican. At least we were able to get to the theater early enough to hear the whole organ performance. Was the film good?  For a franchise flick, it was pleasant.  But was it good?  It was an enjoyable way to spend an hour and a half on a Saturday evening. When we returned to the car, I found that a slow leak was detected by the TPMS system.  So I drove home, and made plans to go to Mavis Tires the next morning.  

Sunday came, and I went to Mavis.  90 minutes later, the tire was fixed, and I was home for the rest of the day to rest with RQS.  Unfortunately, Monday came, and RQS had to leave.  So we got some lunch, and I dropped her off at the station, so that she could get home during daytime hours....

By the time you read this....

 

By the time you read this, several things will have happened:

1. My taxes will be in the process of being prepared.
2. I will be in possession of my new car.
3. DCD will have started his process of getting the car registered in his own name.
4. I will have given RQS her birthday present.
5. My luggage will be opened, and packing will start for my California Cruise.

Of course, a lot of things will have happened in between then and now.  And you'll be able to read about them over the next few days.

- - - - - -

When I told my brother about my tax situation, I realized how much my brother wants to isolate my financial life from his.  I should mention that he wouldn't give me a recommendation for an accountant if I needed one this year, but would only help me file estimated taxes to buy a little time for me.  My guess is that if an acquaintance of his sees my returns, then they will have an idea of what a slice of my brother's life looks like.

Cleaning out my old car has helped me find things I had misplaced over the years.  One of these things was a canvas bag that I thought was in RQS's place.  Surprise!  It was in my car's trunk.  There was way too much stuff back there, and I'm glad that I am finally emptying it out.  (Guess what I'll be doing on Monday!)

Now that I have the information needed to get my new car on the road, I can give DCD the information he needs to start his process.  Hopefully, I'll have the old car out of my driveway soon.  If not, I know of at least one charity that takes donated cars.

Even though a bought theater tickets for RQS's birthday, I ordered a little something from Amazon for her to open up on the birthday itself.  Hopefully, she will like it.

And lastly, packing....   This will be a trip where I will spend one day as Mario and the rest as Marian. (I must visit my uncle while presenting as Mario.)  It's going to be nice to wear some warmer weather clothes for a change.  (I haven't worn a dress in California in ages, except while in transit to/from Hawaii.)  Since it will be Spring when I arrive, I have to bring sweaters (and a windbreaker) - especially for my time in San Francisco.  RQS's cousin knows I am trans, so it will be nice NOT to have to change into a pair of trousers when in San Diego....

The trouble with taxes

This morning, I didn't need my alarm clock to awaken me.  Yet, I know I'll be exhausted by both the end of the day and by the end of the weekend.  And all of this is because of taxes....

- - - - - -

As I've mentioned before, I have had to find a new tax preparer because my old one retired.  I thought I had been lucky to know someone in the Trans community who could do this work. But her health problems got in the way, and she had to bail on doing my taxes.  This left me with 3 weeks to get my taxes done and no one to do them.

The first thing I did was to make an emergency call to my former tax person, and I got the name of a new person.  This was the person who took over some of her old business, and is located in the old office space.  YAY!!!  Even better, this person is hungry and wants new business.  So, I'll end up picking RQS up at the station and driving down to my Trans friend to pick up my paperwork.  And then, I'll deliver this packet to my new tax person in Queens and hope for the best.

- - - - - -

This will be a half and half weekend for me.  At least, I'll be able to take RQS out to the movies and relax for a little while....

 

 

PS: We picked up the tax paperwork from my Trans friend on Friday, then delivered it to my new tax person on Saturday.  Although it rained like cats and dogs, I made it safely to Queens, where the new tax person is located.  And then, after an hour of waiting (we were in line to meet with this new lady), we had a pleasant conversation and a good idea of what the tax preparation would cost and when it would be done. It's a nice feeling to know that this headache is going away, and that I'll be able to focus on good things again.
 

Give some things time, and they start to sort themselves out.

 

Well - After a night of worrying, things are sorting themselves out.  My brother found the paperwork I needed, and my new accountant said that all she needed now was a copy of my 2022 tax returns.  So, I got that in order, and sent off the down payment (1/3 of predicted tax prep charges) to the accountant.

In my life, I have learned that when I'm worried, that I have to go to sleep and let my subconscious sort things out.  When I couldn't do so, such as when XGFJ and I broke up, my mind kept running in circles because the pandemic would soon get in the way of activities needed for distraction.  Four years later, I think of her now and then, but not in a pining over type of way.  Instead, she's just a milestone in life, an experience I had to go through before I was ready for RQS.

Life has a nasty habit of throwing me curve balls, and even my relationship with RQS is like an off speed pitch.  There is nothing wrong with it.  But it is something that you have to be ready for in order to get the most from it.  There are words I don't say and phrases I don't use out of respect for her.  (It's not that I'd use them often.  I'm just a little more careful because it would hurt me to hurt her feelings needlessly.)  And I'll bet that she goes the extra mile to try to keep me feeling good.

Years ago, XGFJ said that one of the reasons for our breakup (other than me being TG) was that I didn't show her enough affection, and say the little nothings she needed to hear.  I learned from that and try to make sure that RQS knows I care about her in both words and touch whenever possible.  Yes, holding hands while walking is still difficult, as the differences in our heights causes our arms to want to swing at different paces.  But we still try to do this.

Too bad that we don't teach our kids to rest on things a bit before tackling things that might be a little overwhelming.  Maybe we'd accomplish more if we took the time to think before deciding to act....

Doing business with a new Tax Person.

 

I'm frustrated over a series of events.  For the past 40 years, I have been using the same tax preparer.  This winter, she announced her retirement.  And now, I had to hustle to find someone new.  So, I ended up reaching out to a transgender CPA I know, and was awakened to a hard fact - I've had it very easy over the past few years. Without mentioning this CPA's name, I know that she follows all the rules.  And that's a good thing for me.  I don't intend to break the law just to save a few pennies.  Privately, I will give this person's name out and make a recommendation - as I did for RQS.

Most of the information this new tax person is requesting is something my brother and I should have at hand.  Given that my brother is the financial expert in the family, I always took what he gave me and handed it to my old tax person.  Now, I have to provide more information, and have my brother explain what's going on.  I'm not looking forward to a conflict that will force me to look for a new person at the last minute.

This weekend, I had a chat with RQS and explained why I want to dissolve this tie that binds me to my brother.  I depend on him too much, and the extra complexity that owning an income producing property provides is not worth it.  Hopefully, my brother will soon feel the same way about the old family homestead.

Anger

 

As my therapist taught me, anger is a secondary emotion.  It comes from the need to deal with another feeling which is often unidentified before anger erupts.  (I forgot exactly how he liked to describe it.)  Once a person gets angry, a lot of negative things can happen.

- - - - - -

Like many kids, I had an unhappy childhood.  My mother and grandmother were people who used fear to get their kids to comply with their directives. Both would get mad for reasons that normal children could not understand or deal with in a healthy manner. When my grandmother had a massive stroke, I was happy for a while - one source of terror was almost removed from my life.  The problem was that she became a shell of her former self, needing assistance for everything - including help to get up and being walked to the toilet.  At times, I had to babysit my grandmother when I should have been out playing.  One should not ask this, much demand this of a 7 year old child.  I guess this was one of the many causes of many feelings I had to repress.

At a certain time in my childhood, my parents realized something was wrong and took me to see several psychiatrists. Unfortunately, the DSM-4 (or whatever level it was then) didn't have entries for disorders caused by f**ked up family dynamics.  If they had, maybe I could have had a happier childhood, as I might have learned the skills to deal with many of the problems that come in life.

As I got older, the urge to get married and have children came along.  Knowing that my temper was a severe liability, I did not want to have children.  The risk of harming them as was done to me was too great.  But this also hurt my wife, as neither of us knew how to communicate our feelings to the other.  To this day, I'll never know if she would have wanted children, as we never had this discussion.  I feared letting myself get angry at her, as I felt that the only argument we'd have would destroy the relationship. So, when she became terminally ill, I can't be sure if either of us knew that we loved each other anymore because of our inability to communicate.

It took a while, but I eventually stumbled into an LCSW who taught me many of the skills needed to have a healthy relationship with someone else.  However, he couldn't help me deal with other issues that would cause me grief later on, such as settling for the first person who would put up with me after each loss.  

Just before the pandemic hit, I lost the two closest friends I had.  I need not rehash the reasons here.  But I ended up a better person because of it.  Now, I take a "Let it Slide" attitude to many things, as there are many more important things to be concerned about.  Letting go of anger, both repressed and non-repressed ended up being a good thing, as I can move forward to the future.  My current girlfriend can see when I get frustrated, and she knows that if she gives me a second to process what's going on, that I can stay rational and be the person she cares about.  Again, I am grateful to have her in my life at this time in my life.  But then, I've said this often in this blog....

I just put a deposit down for a new car!

 

The title of this entry says it all.  I have finally put money down on a new car.  Yay!  Now to figure out what to do with the old car.  With this being said, I know that I can always donate the car to a charity and get a tax deduction.  But I won't get more than a fraction of what the car is worth.

Although it's been over 40 years since I bought the apartment I live in, I'm still surprised that this car costs almost the same as my apartment did way back when.  (Of course, indexed for inflation, my car costs the same as an equivalent car of that era.)  Yet, I was a little nervous about this purchase, as I committed to writing what will likely be one of the largest checks that I will likely write in my life. 

I'm looking forward to driving this car.  But I will likely NOT be taking it to RQS's place that often, as owning a new car can be a liability in the outer boroughs of NYC.  A high mileage, older car is never going to be at risk for theft.  But a low mileage, new car becomes a great risk for theft of parts.  I was reminded of that when I signed the contract for the car, when I had to ink a clause declining to have a VIN number etched on my catalytic converter.  No one buying a "hot" converter cares about an etched unit, and they could easily obscure the etching if that reduces a criminal's chance of getting caught.

The deal I cut was unusual, as it was an all-cash deal without seller financing.  The sales manager wanted to offer me financing, and I declined for reasons I didn't give him.  (Specifically, I didn't want to unfreeze my credit report and potentially open myself up to identity fraud.) When the car is delivered, I expect that the sales manager will try to upsell me on things such as: Ceramic Ding Shield, Tire & Wheel Protection, and Key Security (insurance on the key fob, which may cost $500 to replace.)  Of these, I may buy the ding shield (after having some questions answered) and the key fob insurance (if it covers the loss of more than one key fob).  Most importantly, I have about a month to take care of things before the car reaches the dealership and I have to get a certified check for the balance. 

It's going to be a great change for me - and a welcome one. 

Lunch with a new friend, and dinner with an old meetup group.

 

Today was an interesting day, as I had two meals out.  The first was lunch with a new friend that left me with questions, and the other was with a group of people I know from a meetup group which I dine with from time to time.  

- - - - - -

On one of my recent trips into NYC, I met this new friend while waiting for the elevator at Croton-Harmon station.  We exchanged numbers, and agreed to meet for lunch one day.  Today was that day.  We met at a Mexican restaurant in Ossining and had a pleasant meal.  But one thing bothered me and I didn't realize it at the time - she was asking a lot of questions about me, and not sharing that much about herself.  Given that most people love to talk about themselves a little, I wonder if she was pumping me for information for nefarious purposes.  If this is so, I'll bet that she'll be a little shocked if she finds out I am not a cisgender woman.  

Why did I mention this?

Later in the evening, I was bothered by the nature of the conversation.  And I decided to talk about this with a friend I'll be meeting for lunch tomorrow.  If my radar has detected something wrong, she can help steer me to the right people who can help.  

- - - - - -

Later on in the day, I braved the rains and trekked to Eastchester for a dinner with the meetup group.  It was the usual cast of characters, and I'll bet that the men there were surprised about the knowledge I had from car shopping and my travels by railroad.  If I were a cisgender woman a generation younger than I am, I might have been interested in the more typically masculine one of them.  The other was a mousy looking fellow who I'll bet rarely attracts women.  

Why did I mention attractiveness?

Well, there were 5 people at my table: an average looking fellow at the far end of the table, a hefty fellow across from me, a mousy man catty corner from me, and a mousy woman to my side.  Ignoring myself, a trans woman whose size makes her look like a beached whale, only the fellow at the far end of the table fell in the normal range of attractiveness. And this led to a conversation I had with RQS later in the evening.  Although I attend meetups only to develop friendships, others attend these meetings as a way to kill time until they find a mate and have too little time to meet with casual acquaintances.  

- - - - - -

But, back to my lunch date....

Hopefully, my radar has detected a false positive with the new friend.  But if I'm wrong, I want to be prepared for the worst.

A visit to see my brother

 

I don't get the chance to see my brother that often, and this was one time I knew he needed to talk with me. Without saying too much, he has both an important career decision to make and a decision that will affect his peace of mind.  So, I knew that I had to see him immediately after leaving RQS this evening.

Normally, I am not under any time constraints when leaving RQS's place, save that I have to be aware of alternate side of the street parking rules and on which side of the street my car is parked.  However, I knew I had to reach my brother's place by 5, so that we could get to dinner by 6.  Just as I was walking out the door, my brother called - and I told him I'd be there shortly.  

Arriving at my brother's place around 5, we chatted for a while, and then proceeded to a seafood restaurant in Oceanside, NY - Jordan Lobster Farms.  As much as I didn't need another big meal, it was hard to resist clams on the half shell, clam chowder, and a 1 1/2 pound lobster.  YUM!  We talked about many things:  career, family, friendships, and pastimes. We also talked about my uncle, who I will be visiting in April.  

All too soon, this visit had to end.  I drove back to my apartment to find several things on my doorstep, one of which was a pair of large door stoppers which I'll be using to keep my refrigerator door closed until I can properly level the device.  (Too bad I forgot about the shims my brother had saved for me back at his place.)  Although there was more that I could have brought in at the time, I left some stuff in the hall to retrieve in the morning.

Jelly's Last Jam

 

Jelly's Last Jam tells the story (very loosely) of Jelly Roll Morton's life, as well as his contributions to the musical form we know as Jazz.  This was one of the better revivals in City Center's Encore! series. Given that I enjoyed Jelly Roll's music, I figured that this would be an entertaining diversion for both RQS and I, and gave her tickets to see this show on Valentine's Day.

A week and a half later, we braved the cold to go to City Center.  Weekend travel on the NYC Subway system can be frustrating at times, as many lines are shut down (whole or in part) for maintenance. For us, this meant that we had to deal with a larger than normal crowd at Union Square as we made our way outside to get a bite to eat.

Now, I don't keep any of my feminine wardrobe at RQS's house.  Even though it hovered near 32°f, the wind chill made it feel worse than that. So I was very fortunate that my feminine wardrobe was not available to me, as I would have braved the cold in a nice dress with tights on my legs.  Yet, if I did, I wouldn't have been the only person wearing a dress - we saw quite a few young (and older) ladies showing off their legs while on the subway, and later at city center.

Once done with food, we took the train to 57th street and then walked over to City Center.  After picking up our tickets, we had to kill 30 minutes in the lobby before being allowed to enter the theater and proceed to our seats.  Thankfully, we were able to take the elevator to the mezzanine where we had seats.

The play was nearly 2+1/2 hours long (with intermission) and RQS was tapping her feet and moving to the rhythm throughout the play.  I loved it too, and I'm not a big fan of musicals.  (Later on, I found this review in the New York Times while on the ride home - a nice coincidence.)  However, there was one minor fly in the ointment - we weren't able to make it home in time for SNL's cold open - one of our usual Saturday Night things to watch, along with Weekend Update.  At least, we were on time for a great fake advertisement for a love doll - Fugliana.  This was not a skit for everyone, but it was one of the show's best skits of all time. We watched the show until the second musical number started - then it was off to bed for the night. 

Buying a new Refrigerator

I might have mentioned that I have a refrigerator that's on the fritz.  Although the freezer is working perfectly, the main compartment is unable to keep things cool enough for safety.  Something is wrong, and I cannot fix it.  So, I am replacing the unit before I have to throw away everything in the freezer.  (Even then, I still expect that I might have to toss some stuff because it's been stored too long.)

- - - - - -

Instead of car shopping, the first task of the day was to drive to the store where we made the salesman's day.  After telling him what we wanted, we were escorted to the appliances department where we were shown a group of refrigerators.  I asked only one question: Of all of these brands, which is the most reliable?  He answered that the Frigidaire was the most reliable, and I made my choice: Today's version of the same refrigerator that is in my apartment.  It was likely the quickest sale he'd make all week - and the week had barely started.

After this, RQS and I drove to Walmart to pick up some cheap Styrofoam coolers in which I could store freezer food while the new refrigerator is being installed.  If I'm lucky, it'll be cold enough for these containers to be left on my fire escape landing while the old refrigerator is taken out and the new one is put in its place.  By the time we were done, it was time to go to the train station to drop her off.

Once back home, it was time to rest before changing into Marian mode and going to a meetup in Mamaroneck.  Since this town was part of my old stomping grounds from where I worked for 25 years, I knew how to get to the restaurant quickly.  And yet, I was still late.  YGD had texted me to find out whether I was coming or not, even though I had left a message in the meetup's comment area that I might be late.  But I got there shortly after the text had been sent.

Once done with my meal, it was time to go home.  Luckily, I was on the road by 7:30 pm, as by 9:00 pm, I was out for the night.  Sleep was my companion for the evening, and with a brief awakening around 11:30 pm to get up to go to the bathroom and then to bed, I was out until the next morning.....

Sometimes, one has to take a break to think a little

 

My original plan for this Sunday was to get up and get out of the house by noon, so that we could visit one or two car dealerships (Mazda & Subaru) to close out the weekend.  Well, that didn't happen, because we decided to stay indoors and not brave the cold.

However, I found that I might need to buy a new refrigerator soon, and I must start preparing for that day.  It's amazing how much food I have stored in the freezer, and how much I'll have to either store at a friend's place (or eat) before the ice box dies.  Luckily, I can afford to replace the refrigerator right now.  But I'm hoping that I can empty the old ice box before it dies.

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As I write this, I am watching "The Doors" on Amazon.  It's a good film, but it makes me feel sad.  No one would do an intervention for him, and he was a walking time bomb ready to destroy himself at any moment.  It seems like great musicians die of car crashes, plane crashes, drug overdoses, or gunshot wounds.  An unnatural death for a musician, as I like to put it, is to die in one's sleep at a very old age.  But why is this so?  I think greatness in the arts is often counterbalanced with a sickness in the soul that comes out in unhealthy behaviors.

I look at myself in my former career.  My greatest achievements took place when I was fighting off my worst demons.  When I started to get my act together and heal my soul, I got less interested in what I was doing. By the end of that career, I was just going through the motions - I'd been there and done that.

- - - - - -

I consider myself lucky.  Although I have lost most of my passion, I have peace of mind.  And this allows me to have a healthy relationship with RQS.  I am very thankful for that. And I am also very thankful that she accepts me for who and what I am, as most women would be scared of being in a relationship with a transgender person.

Dinner with Vicki and RQS

 

This is not where we ate the other day.  But I'd have loved to eat here, just for the outdoor ambiance. Vicki, RQS and I agreed to meet at one of our usual go-to places, Lefteris Gyro for a dependable good meal.

- - - - - -

RQS and I had been car shopping all day when a woman who I met in Marian mode called.  I made the mistake of answering the phone in Mario mode, and then RQS came on the line and fouled things up a little.  I'll bet that this spooked the woman who could have become a friend before I had the chance to mention my TG nature.  When I called her back later on, I found that her voice mail response hadn't been updated since 2021.  

Around 7 pm, we met at Lefteris, and  had a good meal.  Vicki may have been a little surprised to see me in Mario mode, but that was because I had been in Mario mode to do car shopping. Our conversation got a little animated (not in a nasty way), as Vicki and I both have strong opinions and needed to express them as part of our conversation.  Of course, this might have disturbed a couple at the table next to us (they were giving Vicki weird looks), but it didn't matter to us.  We ended up being the last people to leave the place, and we left a good tip to make up for taking up a table for over 2 hours.

On the whole, it was a nice way to finish up the day, and I'd like to do this again soon....

Precious Time and Bucket Lists

 

When I was younger, I sometimes felt like there were never enough hours in the day.  Although I feel this less and less as I get older, I find that there are not enough days in the week.  Today was occupied by two things: Shoveling my car out from the snow, and a co-op board meeting to be held in the evening.  As I get older, I dislike shoveling snow more and more, and would prefer to have a garage where I can put my car in case of bad weather.  

Why might you ask that I'm complaining of not having enough time?

The answer is simple.  The older we get, the less time we have to spend.  And, we're also fighting the body's normal decay process as well.  I have less energy to spend on things, which means that it takes me more time to do the things I could do in less time when younger.

- - - - - - 

Knowing that I have only so much time left to me makes me think - what do I want to do with the rest of the good years of my life?  The process of answering that question also spends a portion of the time I have left to me.  Although my apartment is a mess (being perfectly tidy is a low priority for me), I still want the creature comforts that money can buy for me - such as a working range hood fan over my stove.  Being serious, I've already generated a bucket list of things to do and see.  Yet, like in the movie, the Bucket List, I've found that many of the things must be done by more than one person, including the completion of that list.

I consider myself lucky that RQS has been with me for the past 2 years, as I have a companion for that ride into old, old age.  And I feel that she feels the same way about me, especially when I have opened her up to new possibilities in life.  Yet, I don't think that either of us will complete the things we want to do on our bucket lists.  There is only so much time, and it becomes more precious every day.

Fortunately, I am out to the world in regard to being transgender.  This takes a big load off of my mind. Overcoming the fear of wondering what people might think made it easier to pursue other things on the bucket list with much less fear, as I have found that most of us worry about many things needlessly.  If we were to ask ourselves "what's the worst thing that could reasonably happen?" in a given situation might free us up to do things we might not otherwise do.  Heck, I've had to deal with a stolen wallet last year, and I was able to recover from it.  Many of us have had to deal with broken limbs, or worse.  Yet, we recovered.  So, if these are the worst things that could happen, why not try to check off items on your bucket list before it's too late to do so?

I'd love to see your opinions on this....

Meeting RQS's Friend

 

Yes, is a picture taken of me over a decade ago.  But I don't want to show a picture of RQS or her friend in this blog.

We had arranged to meet in NYC several weeks ago, and it was nice to be back in Marian mode again. RQS and I got ready to take the train into NYC, and I noticed that one of my dresses had a rip at one seam.  Since I couldn't wear that dress, I had to substitute a sweater dress in its stead - and that was a good thing, considering the cold weather outside.

Arriving at Grand Central an hour ahead of our expected time, we killed some of it in the waiting room over a cup of coffee.  And then it was off to lunch.  When we arrived at our destination, I noted that it couldn't be the Chick-fil-A on the corner, as corporate management is anti-LGBT.  Luckily, we were meeting at the French themed shop next door. And that's where a complication arose - there were no seats, and RQS had already paid for lunch.  So we ended up walking a block to another place, and again - no seats.  Both places had turned into de-facto office spaces, with people both eating and working at the tables.  Again, we picked up and left - for the Wendy's next door.

Time flowed way too quickly.  Her friend greeted me as Marian, and we hit it off instantly. If I didn't have to be back in Croton by 6 to get my car out of the parking lot, we would have stayed longer.  But it was a good excuse to take my leave.  Surprisingly, I made it home by 5:15, as I caught a non-stop express to Croton and beyond.