Where does a non-op trans person go to the loo?

 

Although this may be a short post, it poses a dilemma that can cause us problems if in the wrong place at the wrong time - Where can a non-op trans person go to the loo while traveling across the United States?

When I first started going out as Marian, I worried what people would think when I went to the women's room to relieve myself. In New York, I didn't feel that I had to worry much - even though I may not have looked as much as a woman than a man in a dress.  But I had serious concerns.  Over time, both my feminine presentation skills and my confidence in going out as Marian developed quite a bit.  Most of the time now, I think people see me as an oversized woman instead of a fat man in a dress.

I've traveled as Marian, having taken cruises to New England/Eastern Canada ports, to Eastern Caribbean ports (only getting off at St. Martin and St. Thomas), to ports along the California coast, and to Hawaii. In addition, I've traveled to Washington, DC and Chicago, Il as Marian.  But I know that I have to be careful where I travel, given laws that affect transgender people.  For example, GOP states have enacted laws that limit where transgender people can relieve themselves.  I was surprised to find that Texas (with its laws that prohibit gender changes on legal documents) hasn't yet (as far as this map shows) been enacted a bathroom bill.  (Maybe I can find a way to visit my friends in Texas after all....)

Soon, RQS and I may schedule a last minute cruise to New England/Eastern Canada on the same ship that will take us to Bermuda.  This will only happen if a co-op meeting has to be postponed.  I'm hoping that we can take this cruise, as it will be nice to cruise again as Marian. 

 

PS: I can say that I committed a criminal act in one of the states I've visited by going to the loo.  It's nice to be a criminal!

Filling out paperwork for my next cruise.

 

A while back, I decided to buy stock in two cruise line corporations: NCL Holdings and Carnival corp.  Although both stocks have given me acceptable market appreciation, I may have gained more by taking advantage of the benefits that each shareholder can receive by filling in a form.  Today, I mailed out forms to give me $350 worth of cruise credits ($100 for my first cruise and $250 for my second cruise taken on Princess this year.)

Over the past couple of years, I have already received $500 of onboard credits from NCL and Carnival.   I expect that over time, these stock purchases will have paid for themselves in cruise credits alone.  The only reason that I didn't buy RCCL when I bought these stocks is that I didn't want to pony up $6,000 to own shares in a company whose products I don't use.  (I'm not knocking RCCL.  Instead, I simply didn't want to take the risk of investing this much money in a firm when I wasn't sure of when cruise line business would recover.)  All 3 corporations have performed well over the past 2 years, so I have nothing to complain about.

I am not addicted to cruising.  It is an inexpensive way to get away for a week or two and chill out.  I enjoy not having to drive when visiting a new city.  But I wish cruise ships spent more time in each port, so that I could see more of the associated city.  For example, last year's California Coastal cruise spent two days in San Francisco.  This gave cruisers a goodly amount of time to explore this great city.  This year's cruise will spend only one day in San Francisco, far from enough time to take in "Fog City's" beauty.

- - - - - -

When I first started making cruises a standard option for my vacations, my former cruise partner (FCP) encouraged me to go on these cruises as Marian.  The ships were good places for me to practice and develop my feminine presentation.  Given that I'd never see most of these people again, it didn't matter what these people thought of me.  I just had to be careful at which ports I'd get off the ship for shore excursions.

One of my next two cruises will be in Marian mode.  I can't wait to take it, although I'll be spending the day before the cruise as Mario when I see my uncle in his nursing home.  As for the other cruise, I'll be presenting as Mario for over two weeks.  You can bet that as soon as I get home from this cruise, that I'll rush to my closet to figure out what dress I'll wear the day afterward.....

Happy Elvis Day!

 

No, I am not a big Elvis fan.  Yet, I enjoy most of his music.  It's a shame that his life was cut short by excess.  But this post is not going to be about Elvis, other than it will be public on the anniversary of his birthday.

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Most of my readers know that I write things one day and publish them around 2 weeks later.  I do this, so that I can travel and not let people I'm away from the house until I've returned home.  This means that I rarely post on cruise-specific travel forums, as I don't want thieves to have the knowledge that I'll be away for a given period of time.  However, I just left the following post (from a different blog I occasionally write for people new to cruising) covering the cruise I took on December 9-16.

MSC Meraviglia - Florida and Bahamas Cruise (12/09/23 - 12/16/24)

It's written differently from the journal of the trip covered in successive entries in this transgender related blog, as no mention is given to any transgender issues.  Shortly after posting, I got a lot of people reading the blog, as it was of interest to a wider group of people.

- - - - - -

Why do I mention the unexpected popularity of my other blog?   Simple.  It's to remind our community that we are small and not on the minds of most people.  We are under attack by many,  But most people are inclined to let us be, as I was on this cruise.  I simply blended in to what people were expecting from a fat 66 y/o woman.  And for most of us, that's what we want - to be treated with the respect normally shown to a person of our identified genders.

We must not forget that we are under attack from some quarters.  When my ship made an unplanned stop in Miami, I refuse to spend any time or money helping the economy of that state as long as that homophobe/transphobe governor is in office.  (Yes, I broke down and spent $2.00 on some soda, as I was thirsty.)   I'm not as self righteous as I was practical - why take any last minute shore excursions in the rain?  If I have to pass through Florida, I will spend some money there.  But I won't plan a vacation that involves me staying there, save to visit a friend or to visit family.

- - - - - -

I've said before that living as a transgender person has a lot of mundane issues that are common to most people.  When I see transgender people like Danica Roem get elected to office, they don't focus on being different, save that they will do more for their constituents than their opposition.  We are part of a larger society. Maybe our goals of acceptance from the larger society should focus on how much alike we are to the rest of society instead of focusing on our differences....

Looking forward to traveling again.

 

Next year, RQS and I are planning on taking another "Bucket List" cruise, this time to the Norwegian fjords.  It'll be the last year that traditional cruise ships will be allowed into several of the fjords, so we decided to do it now and hold off on other cruises we may have taken first.

Right now, I have only 3 cruises planned, 2 of them fully paid for.  One of these cruises will have RQS and I spending 3 days in Bermuda, and the other will be an effective repeat of a cruise I took with XGFJ several years ago.  On the latter cruise, I'll be alone and presenting as a female.  Unfortunately, the one time I want to spend the money to have a portrait photo taken of me presenting as Marian, the cruise ship doesn't seem to have to have the portrait studio experience I want - something similar to what I experienced on Princess as Mario.

One of the things that excites me is the opportunity to travel and see new places.  Sometimes, I want to go back to places such as Alaska and Hawaii. And that brings me to the topic of last minute trip booking.  A while back, I started looking at last minute prices for the Hawaii cruise I took last year. And I could take the cruise portion of that trip for a very cheap price this year.  If you look at the pricing for the cruise above, you'll note that there is an important anomaly - the studio cabin is priced more than both an inside cabin and an ocean view cabin. For only $300 more than the studio cabin, the solo cruiser could cruise in a balcony cabin.  Add $1,000 for the airfare, and $500 for hotel stays,  and one could do this bucket list trip for about $3,000-$3,500, excluding shore excursions.

Although cruising is getting more expensive these days, it still can be a relative bargain.  One has to be willing to get into the nitty gritty and search for pricing anomalies like the one above.  But bucket list trips such as a Norway cruise are rarely discounted.  Hawaii prices will soon go back to normal, and I expect Alaska prices for good itineraries to be at a premium next year.  

- - - - - -

Not all of my travels will be by sea.  RQS and I are planning on doing another "Girls' Trip" with our friends from Texas.  Hopefully, they will be able to fit this trip into their schedules and budgets.  Shortly after our Chicago trip, I floated the idea of visiting San Francisco in the fall, given the low prices I've seen at a few hotels there this year. Some of the places I stayed in a decade ago are very reasonably priced, and I have found a few bargains that are accessible via mass transit.  We could fly into SFO, then take BART to Embarcadero, then take the Trolley (or bus) to a hotel at Fisherman's Wharf. This is a trip which deserves more time than we spent in Chicago, and may require the rental of a car for a day.

RQS and I may do another trip to Washington, DC, as well as a trip to Philadelphia and a trip to Boston. All of these cities are easily reached by Amtrak, and that helps keep our costs down.  Unfortunately, being in the Northeast poses another set of problems - it's harder for a frugal traveler to find bargains here. But if one avoids using a car and uses mass transit efficiently, one can make many a trip in this region affordable.  So don't be surprised to find me reporting on a spur of the moment trip soon....

Looking forward to new trips - a quick post.

 

As you might guess from my writing in this blog, I enjoy travel.  Right now, I have 4 planned trips in front of me:

1. A long weekend in Chicago with RQS and my Texas friends.
2. A Bermuda cruise with RQS.
3. A solo cruise to the Bahamas and back.
4. A Norwegian Fjord cruise with RQS in 2024.

Even with these trips planned, I am still trying to figure out ways to travel even more.  For example, I'd like to spend a weekend in Boston with RQS, and see things we couldn't see in our short stop there on last year's cruise.  I could always go back to DC with RQS, as she has relatives in the region that we both enjoy seeing.  And then, Philadelphia comes to mind, as I have not had the time to explore the city in my two trips there.

Unfortunately, travel costs money, and we have to answer a simple question: Where will all this money for travel come from?

The other day, I was chatting with my brother and the subject of my uncle's finances.  (No, I will not go into them here.)  But both of us had similar thoughts - we both want my uncle to enjoy the rest of his life as much as possible, and would rather that he spend it on him and my aunt, than for him to leave us a lot of money.  Yet, if we were lucky enough to inherit a few dollars, I would spend some of it on a bucket list trip with RQS.  My brother said that this was an excellent idea.

What will happen in the future depends on how my finances work themselves out.  If my investments do well, I will spend some of the proceeds on travel.  If not, I will dream about travel.  Either way, travel will be on my mind.  Hopefully, much of that travel will be as Marian, and not as Mario.

I'm looking for a cheap cruise without a single supplement.

 

I took the above cruise a few years ago.  Would I take it again?  Probably not.  But, if I were to see a cheap cruise like it offered on Princess without a single supplement that sails out of New York, I'd jump at the chance to take it.

- - - - - -

There is a problem with cruising.  In many ways, its like taking a tour bus, except that it covers a larger area on water.  If I were to take a tour bus to see the sights in San Francisco, the knowledge that I'd gain from that bus ride would give me an idea of where to focus my exploration on a day to day basis.  Cruising is much the same, as it helps familiarize a person with the important things that can be seen in a coastal area.  In the Caribbean, I like to say that each island consists of 3 main things: a beach, a fort, and a shopping district.  The size and scope of these things differ from island to island, but for the most part, there is not much difference between the islands.

With the above being said, cruising can be a great way to detach from the world.  When I was still employed by the bank, I found that NOT being able to read my emails or make phone calls from the ship forced me to disconnect.  There is an art to disconnecting from the world.  But once it is mastered, one can relax without pressures of the outside world getting in the way.  (Leave your phone on, and you can receive both a large phone bill upon your return and bad news to be processed while still on the ship.) 

- - - - - -

So, why do I cruise?  I guess it's habit.  I've gotten used to the idea of staying in a hotel that moves from port to port, and not having to pack and unpack at each destination.

Cancelling one cruise and getting ready to book another.

 

The above is the cruise we were planning to take in February.  Looks like a good itinerary for a 7-day cruise, doesn't it?  But we had a very good reason for cancelling this cruise. The cost of getting to Tampa, staying a couple of days before and after (to see relatives and friends), and what we might spend in shore excursions caused us to rethink our plans, and change where and when we'll be cruising. 

Instead, we decided that the above 12-Day Norwegian Fjord cruise was a better value for us.  Yes, we may spend a little more money on this trip.  But we will see sights that will be closed off to most cruise ships in 2025.

Am I a bit apprehensive about this trip?  Yes.  It'll be the first time I've traveled outside of North America in my life (save for Hawaii, which I'll treat as North America, as well as islands in the Caribbean.).  But it is something that places me a little bit out of my comfort zone, and will help me grow as a person.

With this being said, I am a little sad that I will not be able to take this cruise in my female presentation. However, it will give RQS some uninterrupted time with Mario - something I know she needs very much.  And I'm glad to give it to her, as my need to present as Marian is not as strong as my desire for a healthy romance.

Luckily, my passport has another 4 years on it, which means that I won't be traveling outside the US during the first half of 2027.  Therefore, I have a lot of traveling to do in the next 3 ½ years, and then I'll have to take a break until my passport is renewed.  (This might be a good time to take another cruise on the Pride of America, as it never leaver Hawaii.)  

Do you have any bucket list trips that are worth taking?  Please let me know in a comment.

Aloha 'Oe

 

Aloha 'Oe.  It's a song that will always remind me of Hawaii - and for good reason.  It will always remind me of places where I can relax and chill out, and not just in America's paradise.  But why do I start out with a thought about Hawaii?  Well, I've grown to realize that cruising is my favorite way to disconnect from the outside world for a while, and come out refreshed at the end of my trip.

Today ended a long relaxed weekend with RQS.  I drove her back to Croton-Harmon in the middle of the afternoon, and I killed a little time before returning home due to plumbing repairs that required water being shut off to the building.  By the time I got home, the repairs were complete, and I was able to take care of things at the apartment.

Around 6 pm, I put my dress back on and drove to Wegmans for a shopping trip.  $90 later, I had several bags in my car, and was ready to pack it in for the day.  And yet, my thoughts kept prodding me to do one more thing - plan another trip to Hawaii, and see things I couldn't see the first time around.  For example, it was too windy to visit the USS Arizona memorial when I was there, and it is a site I'd like to see.  Another thing I'd like to do is enjoy the Luau at the Polynesian Cultural Center.  I've seen the Luau on Kauai, and would want a different take on the ceremony.  And then, I'd like to get back to the Halealaka Crater and Volcanoes National Park when it isn't foggy or raining.

As I see it, going back to Hawaii with RQS in tow will be worth it.  The only question will be: How do we afford it?  

Date nights for Marian - a short post

 

It's a strange feeling for me to have a relationship with a woman who accepts me for who and what I am. Do we attach labels to our relationship?  No.  But it is very interesting to see us addressed as two women, and not see RQS flinch when this is done.  I am very lucky to have this woman in my life - and I know it.

Like most couples, date nights for us are both nothing special to the world, and everything special for us. These are our nights to connect with each other, whether I am presenting as Marian or as Mario. To me, it is even more special to me when RQS says that we should go out as two women.  When we do so, we do not show as much PDA as we usually might. But then, we are usually in Westchester at these times.

It is not an uncommon things to see same sex couples out in the world these days. When RQS and I were on our last cruise together, the couple in the next cabin were likely a same sex couple.  This is a good thing for us and our future plans.  Yet, I must always remember that RQS wants a relationship with Mario as well.  So, I try to make sure that Mario is always there for her when expected and wanted.

- - - - - -

I wonder what it will be like for us when we go on a cruise with me presenting as Marian for the entire cruise.  Will RQS be comfortable spending an entire week (or more) with me in Marian mode?  What about PDAs?  Will a cruise be a 7 night date for us?  Only time will tell.

Cruise shopping

This is an example of a cruise I want to take in the next 3 years.  It would give me an opportunity to both see my uncle, as well as being able to see a friend in Florida.  Its drawback is that I would need to travel as Mario for this trip, instead of traveling as Marian.  Unfortunately, the world is not yet safe enough for a transgender person who has not legally transitioned. Even with this headaches, I still like to travel - even if I have to travel as Mario.  

Right now, I am scheduled to take a California coastal cruise this summer, as well as a Bermuda cruise later this fall.  Next year, I am planning to take two cruises: a western Caribbean cruise out of Tampa, and a combined Norwegian Fjord/Iceland cruise out of Southampton.  If possible, I may figure out a way to take another cruise in the fall of next year.

Ideally, I will find a cruise which I can take in Marian mode.  It would be easy for RQS and I to do another Canada run.  But it would likely be a bit of a bore for me, as I've done this route at least 5 times. However, I could get into doing the California coast a few times, as the cruise I'm taking this summer goes to cities I'd like to know more.  And on this cruise, I could go as Marian (on future runs), as I would not be obligated to meet with my uncle in LA.

Can I squeeze in another cruise this year without breaking the budget?

 

 

This past December, I took a bucket list cruise to Hawaii.  I really want to take this cruise again if I can find both the money and the time.  Thinking about this, I wondered, how much cruising can I get into a year of vacations?  And if I find cruises that are worth the money, how do I find the money to afford these cruises without breaking open my nest egg?

- - - - - -

RQS and I just got back from a 5 day trip to Washington, DC, and we have 2 more cruises scheduled for later in the year.  I would like to squeeze in at least 1 or 2 more cruises without breaking the bank, or getting RQS too upset at me.  So, how should I do it?

To answer this question, I am thinking of ways that I can make money off of my travels.  Given that I often travel as Marian, many LGBT cruisers might want access to my knowledge.  Given that I have enough knowledge to counsel the average surface traveler, that might be another area worth exploring. Yet, I can see people traveling vicariously reading about my travels.  But this can only be part of an answer.  I must find ways to travel on the cheap.

Traveling cheaply isn't as hard as it seems.  For example, I spent $62 for a round trip Amtrak ticket between New York and Washington, DC.  If I weren't traveling with RQS, I might have stayed at a cheaper hotel and eaten as more downscale restaurants.  I might have even done what many people do, and picked up reheatable food at a local supermarket and eaten it in my hotel room when the weather isn't so great.  But one can only go so far in being frugal.  Taking a vacation should be a little bit of a splurge, a chance to treat one's self to things not available at home.

- - - - - -

Sometime in the summer, or near year's end, I would like to take another cruise - this time in Marian mode.  To do this, I will want RQS's blessing, as I don't want to risk doing damage to our relationship.  Yet, there is a way that she'd be more than happy for me to take these cruises.  If this becomes a reality, I will say more here....

Friends and acquaintances are slowly coming out of the woodwork - a short post.

 

Every so often, I try to reach out to people I haven't heard from in a while.  Today, 3 people reached out to me to say what's up in their lives.

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Several years ago, I met a woman from Ontario who has become a pen pal.  There was no way we could have a romantic relationship, but we enjoyed each other's company on the cruise.  I was pleasantly surprised when she wrote me at the end of her most recent cruise.  Sadly, like me, she has noticed the quality of NCL amenities going down while the cruise price is going up.  In response, I mentioned that we're taking our next cruise on Princess, and may switch to cruising with them for a while if they sail the routes we want to take.

Next, I received a call from FL.  She has moved out of her place on the Jersey shore, and has moved inland.  Her faith is very important to her, and she has found a church that is growing.  More importantly, she is now seeing someone - and I'm very glad for her.

Finally, Patty (my ex-girlfriend from years ago) stepped out of the woodwork for a little bit.  Sadly, things have been going wrong for her, and she's dealing with quite a few inconveniences.  Hopefully, things will get better for her soon.

- - - - - -

I mentioned a select group of people, as I'm not a person with whom most people think of to keep in contact.  So it was nice to hear from these people - just to break the routine....

Booking a cruise

 

The above is a picture of the ship I was on when I took my Hawaii trip.  Some of the cruises I've taken over the years were booked by my former cruise partner.  Other cruises I've taken were booked using a large travel agency or directly through the cruise line.  Now, RQS and I are looking to use a local travel agent affiliated with a larger travel agency to set things up for a California Coast trip we are interested in taking.

Why use a local travel agent instead of using a random person from the cruise line or from a large travel agency?  In our case, we wanted to find out whether it was worth the effort to hand off some of the mundane arrangements to someone who gets paid by the travel suppliers.  And the jury is still out for me in this regard.

In the future, I plan to take trips which require much more planning than a simple cruise to Canada and back.  For example, I'm looking to take a Norwegian Fjord cruise.  One of the cruises I'm interested in starts in Southampton, UK  and sails to both Norway and Iceland.  Travel to countries in the EU Schengen Zone requires one kind of pass for US citizens, while the UK has its own travel requirements. If I am happy with the service an individual agent can give me, I will use that agent for more of my trips.  If not, I will need to find other ways that I can minimize the research headaches I must endure to travel where I want to travel.

Yet, not all travel questions can be answered by a travel agent.  For example, how open to gender non conforming travel is a destination?  In my case, I have skipped several islands on Caribbean cruises, so that I am not hassled by their customs personnel.  To get this information, I may need to ask friends in the LGBT community for help.  And then, I might end up contacting several tourist bureaus directly - but not using my normal snail mail or email addresses for requesting this information.

Hopefully, one day, I will be able to travel freely, to anywhere I want, as Marian.  Until then, it pays to be careful.

Thoughts about Gender Non-Conforming Travel

 

One of the things that a transgender person might like to do is travel.  However, when the name and image on one's legal identification does not match that expected for one's gender presentation, this can get a person into a lot of trouble.  There is still a lot of prejudice against us out there, and I have been a worry wart about going places where I might not be welcome.

- - - - - -

I live in a relatively liberal area of the United States.  Yet, there are many people who would hate me simply for being transgender.  The closer to coastal metropolitan areas one is in this country, the more likely it is that transgender people are accepted.  (This doesn't mean that we don't suffer due to societal prejudices.  It simply means that most people tend to respect our rights as human beings.)  The further away one gets, the less we are accepted and the more we are subject to discrimination (and worse). So, I have learned to be very careful about travel outside my region, as I could get killed if I am in the wrong region.

Now, I've been told that I would be relatively safe in the Dallas, TX area.  But I can't be sure of this.  So I will avoid seeing my friends in the Dallas area until I look more feminine than I currently do.  Yes, I'd love to meet my friend Stephanie again, but it will be much more difficult now that I have RQS in my life.  Kim (of Traveling Transgender) has had few problems with her interstate travel (from the Austin, TX area), flying across the country on her business trips.  Sadly for her, she doesn't travel as much anymore, and she no longer posts about her exploits.

When I had FCP as a cruise partner, I had the pleasure of beginning to cross national boundaries while in gender non-conforming presentation.  At first, I worried about how people would treat me on the cruise, and I found that there was nothing to worry about.  However, I didn't know how I'd be treated when I left the safety of the cruise ship and landed on foreign soil.  In Canada, I found that my rights were protected by law.  And on islands part of the EU (St. Martin), I had no problems as well.  Yet, I feared getting off the ship in places like St. Kitts, as they are hostile towards the LGBT community. So, I developed confidence in cruising, but realized that I had to do some research before getting off the ship at foreign ports.

Recently, I took a Hawaii cruise.  And this time, I heard the dreaded "S" word, instead of the welcomed "Ma'am".  This was not true in most cases.  But it was true where my ID came into use - such as at the airport.  Yet, people took my dress in stride, and treated me with respect.  Did this mean that my biological gender was not an issue?  Who knows?  But I had no problems with gender presentation on my last trip.

But what about future trips?

I am thinking of taking at least one of the following cruises next year:

1. Panama Canal, with stops in several Latin American countries, including Columbia.
2. Norway (and Iceland?), with routes within the EU and also Great Britain.

The stops on the first cruise concern me, as I need to do research before deciding to travel in Marian mode.  Are my rights protected in Mexico, Costa Rica, Guatemala, Panama, Columbia and other countries along the way?  Since Cartagena is a port that I want to visit, I need to know this as soon as possible.  Although I've reached out to Rhonda (of Rhonda's Escape), I've yet to hear from her about documentation she used in her travels.  Hopefully, I will be able to get more information from more sources regarding transgender travel to these ports, so that I can be safe when I make this trip.

In the future, I hope to do more and more of my travel as Marian - even if I have to preserve my Mario identity for purposes I've discussed elsewhere.  But to do so, I'll need more information, and I will document what I find out in this blog to make travel easier for the transgender people who follow me.

Sometimes, the total price of a cruise can be so tempting....

 

 

For those who wonder how I can consider interesting long distance trips and cruises, I suggest that they look at the above trip and how I would book it.  The January 28, 2023 trip above allows for a couple of nights in Honolulu before a 7 night cruise around the Hawaiian islands.  If I were to budget $500 for hotels, and another $100 for meals while in Honolulu, I'd be able to take this trip for approximately $3,300 before the cost of excursions.  Add on $700 for excursions I haven't taken in Hawaii, and I could take this bucket list trip again for $4,000 or so.  But it takes flexibility in thinking and of scheduling to do this.

RQS and I have fun looking at cruise prices and enjoy trying to figure out whether a specific trip makes sense.  Lately, I've been trying to come up with a way for us to take a Panama Canal cruise from Los Angeles, just to be an excuse to see my 90 y/o uncle.  There are trips (such as a Norwegian Fjord cruise) that we have had to put off for this year, so that we could take a cruise from LA and see my uncle.  And we have settled on a Princess cruise that goes to San Francisco, San Diego and Ensenada, MX.  It's not the ideal cruise for me.  But it is a cruise on which RQS could accompany me.  And that is the most important thing.

People traveling solo have many problems, as the tourist world is designed for couples and for families. The only reason that the above cruise came to mind is that the price has dropped and that there is no single supplement.  Couple this with affordable airfare, and I'd spend half as much as I did on my most recent cruise to take this vacation.  Hunting these bargains is a must if one wants to travel on a budget.

- - - - - -

Last year, RQS and I took a second New England/Canada cruise because the base price was too cheap to ignore.  Although we spent twice as much for the cruise than it was advertised for (ads in the United States market do not include taxes, port fees, or gratuities), it was still well worth taking at the time.  Shoulder season is a great time to cruise, as fewer people want to cruise these routes at the beginning or end of a cruise season.  

Bargain hunting shouldn't be limited to things like shoulder seasons.  For example, I took a cruise at the end of 2021 that seemed as if there was more crew than passengers.  I was willing to take the Covid-19 related risk, as I was fully vaccinated.  And it was a great cruise!  So I look for bargains from United States ports, and see if I can make the overall price of the cruise (including the cost of airfare, if needed) fit my budget.  If so, I'm ready to pack my bags and go!  If not, I'll keep scanning the lists to see if there is something worth tracking.

Right now, I occasionally look at cruises originating in the Tampa area.  I have a friend who lives there, and RQS has family in the area.  One of these days, we'll find a way to get there inexpensively, visit our friends and family, and take the cruise.  Until then, this trip will have to wait until the temptation is too much.

I might be starting a new blog

 

Harpo Marx - The strong, SILENT type.  Although he could talk in real life, he fell into gold when he stopped talking in his act, and started doing visual gags on stage, then screen.  If you haven't done so, I suggest that you get a copy of Harpo Speaks, then read it.  You may find that you'll be wishing you could have met this man in real life.

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Why do I mention Harpo?  He was a man who did a lot of traveling in his life, 99% of it via surface level methods available in his era.  In my case, I prefer NOT to travel by air.  Instead, I like to travel by land and sea, Amtrak and Cruising being my favorite ways to go places.

Right now, there is a glut of people wanting to make cruise videos, thinking that people will be interested in amateur ship tours, images of plated food, and rehashed news about the cruise industry.  That is not what I plan to write about.  Instead, I will write about travel by land and sea, telling my readers how to determine which offerings will give people the best bang per buck, as well as ways to minimize headaches and maximize pleasure while traveling.

I thought of this idea when I realized that my girlfriend had never cruised before, and would be leaning on my experience to get the most enjoyment from this experience.  Given how popular cruising has become, I see a niche market in the idea of "Cruising for Dummies".  But after that, what else?  Riding the rails (via Amtrak) is also a way to chill out.  So why not discuss how to avoid air travel as much as possible, and enjoy the world of surface level travel?

So, if you see me mentioning a new blog, please feel free to say hello.  But don't be in a rush.  I'll have nothing posted for a few weeks at best.

Dropping off some baggage

 

 

This is going to be a short post, as I don't have that much to say today.  RQS and I will soon be going on another cruise, and I'll be dropping my big bag off at her place.  This will make it possible for me to travel to RQS's place the day before our cruise, and then catch an Uber together to the cruise terminal the next morning.

Packing luggage for male or female modes is still an art for me.  I usually pack way too much stuff, and have gotten away with it because I've been traveling on cruise ships or on Amtrak for the past decade. Somehow, I will need to learn how to pack much lighter if I want to do more traveling, as I don't want to get hit with overweight luggage fees when flying on vacation.  Because I am a heavy person, my clothing weighs more than the average person, and I need larger bags to carry the same number of garments.

Losing weight has never been easy for me, and I wish I had never met Ex-GF-M - if only because my food addiction would never have been triggered on a daily basis.  I had lost 70 pounds in a short period of time, and gained them back when with her.  Those pounds have stayed on long since we broke up, and I have to start eating more fruit and vegetables if I'm going to have a shot at weight loss.

But enough of that.

We all have to deal with the baggage from our past.  I have to deal with the memories of things I said to my late wife out of ignorance.  I have to deal with memories of hurting a best friend because I said too much about her life.  And I have to deal with memories of many more things than I want to discuss here.  This is the baggage I'll always have with me.

One thing that my former therapist taught me is that I have to learn how to forgive myself for my screw ups. I can ask others for forgiveness, but it often can't be given.  In the case of the former friend I used to talk about too much in my blogs, she couldn't deal with the pain from her past.  Now, she demands to be in control of people and things, as she fears being hurt by the ones she loves most.  Because of things we have said, neither of us trusts each other, and there is no way to rebuild any semblance of a friendship.  So sad.

In order to move forward in life, one had to drop off baggage in the proper places to move forward.  In the literal sense, I am dropping off a bag at her place, so that I can go on a cruise with her.  In the case of my former friend, I have had to accept the fact that I screwed up, forgive myself, and move forward to new friendships.  

Hopefully, my future will be better than the past I left behind....

A last minute dinner with a friend

 

I found the above Garfield comic on the internet today, and felt it captured the spirit of today's dinner with a friend.  But first....

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Last night, I found that the scanner on my "all-in-one" scanner/printer stopped working when I tried to scan documents needed to be given a $100 cruise credit by the cruise line's shareholder relations department. Today, I started tearing apart boxes of stuff I stashed behind my loveseat to find the single purpose scanner I used to use.  After making a total mess in my living room, I found the scanner and tried to install it on my computer.  Unfortunately, there were no Windows 10 drivers for the scanner, and I ended up tossing the scanner in the trash.  

Once I was done with scanning futility, I decided to get showered and dressed to have dinner with my friend from the meetup group, MAR.  This woman is young enough to be my daughter, and works in a services field.  (I don't want to say too much more about what she does for a living here.)  We discussed many a thing, including my upcoming cruises.  And she surprised me by asking if she could come along with me on one of my less expensive trips.  (This woman has never traveled.)  There is no way I'd do this while seeing RQS, and I wouldn't ruin my relationship with RQS to do so.  (I wonder if my cruising with FCP negatively affected my relationship with XGFJ.  If so, I don't want to make that mistake again.)  I told MAR that if we were to do so, she'd find out much more about me than I think she'd like. (I've never mentioned that I am transgender to her, and I think that she believes that I am a cisgender female. Why ruin that image?)

So why did I mention Garfield and lasagna?  Like the cartoon cat, I love lasagna, and polished off a large portion at dinner.  Yum!  We may have lost a good pizza shop in town, where one could get a quick slice.  But we have a good Italian joint in its place, where I have never had a bad sit down dinner.

Sometimes, even buying something as simple as a bar of soap can be a pain

 

As I often do these days, this is going to be a quick post.

One of the things I have found out is that Fels Naptha soap is both a great stain remover AND that it is a great soap for travelers to pack.  However, most people are not comfortable with this soap, and it has gone out of style in most areas.

Most people who know me know that I pick up weird bits of information.  And I plan to do a bit more traveling in the near future.  This means that I might need to launder some garments in the sink if I'm on a long trip, such as a Panama Canal cruise.  Given that only one of the cruise lines I've traveled on equips their ships with washers/dryers available to the cruisers, I figure that I'll need a bar of this soap when I take a long cruise.

There is a problem with my plan.  It's almost impossible to find this soap in most stores, and it sells out quickly on Amazon.  So I'll have to keep my eyes open, and buy it when I see it available.

Game Night - a quick post

 

By the time I got home today, I felt how this fellow looked - a bit worn out.  The last thing I wanted to do was to freshen my makeup and drive to Yonkers for game night.  But, given the reduced frequency of game nights, I felt I had to go - and out the door I went.

While at game night, one of the ladies noted that she needs to get away on a vacation.  I noted how cheap cruising is right now, and I showed her the Vacations To Go web site with some of the cruises I'm considering taking in the fall.  She will likely book one of these trips and try to strong arm her husband into a small amount of traveling. (He hates travel, and she loves it.  This would have been a deal breaker had she known this before getting married.)

I'm still dealing with sleep deprivation, so I'll write more soon....