Most people who know me are aware that I am an avid Marxist. No, not in the economic sense, but in the comedic sense. Of the brothers, I would have love to have known both Groucho and Harpo - but for very different reasons. Groucho was an underappreciated wit, and a man who, sad as it is, didn't seem to have a happy home life. Harpo was the exact opposite. He was a man who was cherished by all - including his wife and children. No one in show business ever had a bad word to say about him. If I had to choose between these two brothers, I'd have picked Harpo as a friend.
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Casual readers may be wondering why I start off this entry with a mention of the Marx Brothers. Well, the answer to this is that my life seems to be like a script from one of their movies - a thin plot coupled with a lot of insanity.
In my case, things with XGFJ may be coming to a head. A while back, she threatened to expose me to my family. But I blunted that threat. The other day, I signed up for a meetup with "her" dinner group, and she signed up for one with mine shortly afterwards. At the same time, a mutual friend of ours (who might be interested in dating me) signed up for the same dinner. I told her that I'd be attending as a female, and she didn't mind. (I'll bet she knows a little bit more about XGFJ's views than she wants to let on, as I caught her in a statement that XGFJ made to me.) So, to have someone I could count on in my corner, Vicki decided to join me for this dinner with "my" group.
Sadly, I have to plan for the possibility of XGFJ going ballistic. She threatened to out me earlier in the year for attending any of the groups - and refused to work with me on a reasonable accommodation for her discomfort in seeing me. Now that I have blunted her weapon, I feel no reason to accommodate her feelings. She left me because I was putting my female side more and more in public, thinking I was lost in a "pink fog". This was never the case. But without her making her real issue understood to me, she gave up on a relationship that could have worked. Now that the relationship is defunct, everything I might have done for her while in a relationship is off the table. And that bothers her in the extreme.
At virtually all meetups I have attended in the recent past, I have attended them all as a female. It wouldn't make any sense to confuse people by showing up as a male and letting things slip up. (What would happen if I referenced something that only that person and my feminine persona would know?) However, I have also signed up for meetup groups as my male persona, as a male presence would be required there. (Think of singles mixers, etc.) Two of those groups are known to XGFJ, as I attended them with her early on in our relationship. And my presence in any of these groups bothers XGFJ.
So what would you do in my size 13-W shoes?
PS: Our mutual friend also signed up for the theater group that XGFJ didn't want me to attend. Again, she'll be seeing me in female presentation, so I doubt she has as many problems with it as XGFJ. Keep your fingers crossed!
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