Sometimes, I wonder what some people from my past are up to these days. With some people, like FCP, I will likely never know, and it doesn't bother me much. With others, like FH and MWL, I don't mind knowing, but I don't try to find out much. And with others, I try to keep in some contact, and learn about their lives through the filters of friendship.
Occasionally, I think of FCP, and quickly put her out of my mind. She left enough breadcrumbs around for me to know what she and her family was doing without me doing any research. The last time we were in contact, she was upset at me, because I sent a "Congratulations!" card to her son and daughter in law to celebrate the birth of their son. And then, she wanted to rub in the pain of the loss of a friendship by showing me more pictures of this son as if I'm estranged family. Without knowing even the name of this son, how could I miss someone who wasn't even a part of my family? But I think she has deeper scars than I do, and that dwelling on this part of my past doesn't help at all.
A few weeks ago, I was finally able to get in contact with Pat (my former hypnotist). I would have thought that she (or her daughter) would have contacted me to let me know that she was moving to a care facility. Once I found this out, I made it a point to visit her there, and to get her out of the facility for a bite to eat now and then. This past visit, she invited her new boyfriend out to eat with RQS and I, and "expected" that we would take them out to a restaurant of their choice instead of mine. Although I would later find out that their place wasn't that expensive, it still would have cost me 3 times what it cost to go to the pizzeria we went to. RQS and I agreed that Pat doesn't realize that the little impositions she makes without thought are the same things which can alienate her from friends and family.
MWL and I have maintained very loose contact since I started dating RQS. She will occasionally initiate contact to catch up on things and to let me know about the developments in her life (such as turning her storage room into a finished living room). Given that we went nowhere in our relationship, and that we had little chemistry between us, I will not try hard to maintain contact.
Every so often, FH pops up to say hi. She's seeing someone now, but I'm not sure of how well it's going, considering that she is in contact with me. The last time we communicated, she sent me a picture of a status symbol handbag that a "special person" gave her. When I mentioned this to RQS, we chuckled. We both knew that if I made the mistake of bonding with this woman, that the relationship would have been a slow motion train wreck.
Yes, I still communicate with XGFJ now and then. And her life has continued with the same routine that it followed when I was in it. This relationship would have been another train wreck had it not ended, as she is incapable of communicating her needs, nor is she able to make the compromises needed to make a relationship work. (I refer to incidents we had where it was a non negotiable requirement that we be with her family on the holidays. I wonder if this is still true with the fellow that she mentioned seeing a while back.) I wish her the best. Yet, there will always be a part of me that wishes that I didn't waste 5 years of my life dating her.
On better and worse notes, I still am in contact with Vicki #2 ("Short Vicki"). It's good that we are in contact with each other. But she has only had sad news to report lately, as one of her family is very ill and needs constant care. If I were to say "hopefully, it'll be over soon", that could be taken as wishing some relief for her, or hoping something sad will happen. So I say very little, and let her do most of the talking. Hopefully, we will be able to get together for dinner soon, and catch up on things.
I haven't had much to say about BXM these days. She's doing well, and has settled down into domestic life with her boyfriend. It'll be nice to see her again, but she's not the type I easily warm up to. It takes me a while to get into sync with her when we chat, and it's because we come from different worlds.
It'd be easy to go on and on about people who pop in and out of one's life. Once one has a steady relationship, it subtracts one or two people from the wider circle of friends I might be visiting if I didn't have a girlfriend. Although it's a normal and good thing, I still wish there were enough hours in the day to see these people, and money in the wallet to afford to have dinners with them.
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