Recently, I headed off to the local Walmart to pick up a corded mouse for a computer I had lying around. After buying the mouse (and a few other things), I was on my way out of the store and one of the check-out ladies said hello....
After a few minutes of chatting with this woman and one of her associates, she said that I always looked good when I came into the store, then asked a question: "How long have you been in transition?" In one sense, it floored me that someone would ask this question. And in another, it confirmed something I already knew - my size often gives my "transness" away. So, we chatted a few minutes, and found out that she was trans, and possibly young enough to be my granddaughter. She had to leave school because her stepdad wouldn't accept her, and that she's paying her bills on a Walmart salary. (Compared to her, I have it very easy.)
This was a reminder to me to be thankful for what I have - it could always be much worse.
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I can't imagine outing myself at the age of 17. It must have been very hard for this trans woman to even find a place to live and a job to pay for it. We're very lucky that most people don't pay attention to us, and let us live our lives in peace. However, I was glad that I noted that this is not always the case, as I do not want to take the risk of visiting places like Florida and Texas while they have anti-transgender laws in place.....
3 comments:
I often wonder if it's OK to talk to other trans women in public. Being 'outed' is not always comfortable. But solidarity is important too.
I hope this girl makes it in life and her circumstances improve. Who knows, eve her stepdad might come round.
Sue x
Sue -
I don't usually think it's OK unless the trans person has given me permission. Recently, I have been in contact with an acquaintance who runs a meetup. And she would mention me being trans instead of letting others find out for themselves. I disagree with this person. They can ask me if they want to know.
There's more to the conversation we had the other day, and I'm not doing it justice. But I'd rather be in control of outing myself. Most people treat me properly, even if they suspect I'm trans. But I'll never know how many people peg me, as many are way too polite to say anything directly to me.
I had another experience with another person recently, someone who knows I'm trans. But it touched on a topic that omen would only discuss with another woman, and I realized that my friend now sees me as a woman after many years....
Sue -
I have some questions regarding the UK and EU in regard to gender presentation. Please send me your email address, so that I can reach you privately.
M
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