Showing posts with label Rejection. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rejection. Show all posts

Thursday, June 6, 2024

You've heard of "Gaydar." Now, there is "Transdar." - a quick post

 


Recently, I headed off to the local Walmart to pick up a corded mouse for a computer I had lying around.  After buying the mouse (and a few other things), I was on my way out of the store and one of the check-out ladies said hello....

After a few minutes of chatting with this woman and one of her associates, she said that I always looked good when I came into the store, then asked a question: "How long have you been in transition?"  In one sense, it floored me that someone would ask this question.  And in another, it confirmed something I already knew - my size often gives my "transness" away.  So, we chatted a few minutes, and found out that she was trans, and possibly young enough to be my granddaughter.  She had to leave school because her stepdad wouldn't accept her, and that she's paying her bills on a Walmart salary.  (Compared to her, I have it very easy.)

This was a reminder to me to be thankful for what I have - it could always be much worse.

- - - - - -

I can't imagine outing myself at the age of 17.  It must have been very hard for this trans woman to even find a place to live and a job to pay for it.  We're very lucky that most people don't pay attention to us, and let us live our lives in peace.  However, I was glad that I noted that this is not always the case, as I do not want to take the risk of visiting places like Florida and Texas while they have anti-transgender laws in place.....

Friday, November 1, 2019

I started the day with some bad news


Last night, I sent an email just to touch base about the job interview I had a month ago.  This morning, I received my reply - I was no longer being considered for the position.  Since I didn't absolutely need the job, it shouldn't bother me much.  However, I do feel a little bit of a sting due to the feeling of rejection.  Whether I was rejected because I was transgender, or if they found a better candidate shouldn't be an issue.  But I'd love to know that answer if it was appropriate for me to ask it.

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Misplacing things has always been a problem for me.  I have often dealt with it by buying extra stuff, so that I can find what I need when I need it - without having to organize my environment beforehand. Now that I don't have "excess" money coming in, one of the things I have to do is develop better habits for where I temporarily store things that I bring into the house.  The other day, I brought in a prescription I took home from the drug store, and do not remember what became of it.  Did I combine the pills with the ones remaining from my old prescription?  Or, did I misplace them in one of my rooms?  If the former, I'll have no evidence that I did so.  If the latter, the pills will show up some time in the future.

Just before I left for my weekly speech therapy session at Mercy, I found the pills that "My Pooka" hid from me.  (I'm always joking about a mischievous pooka when I'm missing something I know I have in my apartment. Just don't call him "Harvey".  Harvey hangs out with Elwood P. Dowd.)  And I was able to leave for Dobbs Ferry with a more relaxed attitude.  While on the way down, I remembered that I had to schedule my yearly physical with my doctor.  Since his office closes at 3:00, I pulled off at a highway exit, made the call, and got back on the road, losing only a couple of minutes.

Arriving at Mercy a little after 3:00, I worked with the two student clinicians.  If my voice is recorded on the iPad they use, much of my masculine vocal resonance is captured and magnified.  But if recorded on a cell phone's voice mail, my voice almost sounds feminine.  There is still a lot of work that has to be done.  But I know that a reasonably feminine voice can come from my voice box, given the voice of a famous transgender woman who was well known when I was young.

I drove back to my apartment to kill a couple of hours, and then drove down to Yonkers for the weekly round of board games.  For once, I won a game - a round of "Exploding Kittens".  And I didn't do too badly in the other games either.  But my mind was elsewhere - I was checking the news and email quite a bit on the phone.  (It didn't help that the host's daughter wanted to join in a couple of games, and she was another distraction to deal with.)  Yet, I enjoyed myself, and will miss the camaraderie of the group for the next 3 weeks.  While playing games, I had a quick message exchange with JS.  Seems like our daytime get together this weekend is off - she is seeing a couple of real estate agents on Saturday.  I guess financial reality is catching up with her after all....








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