There is one big advantage to being young: The invincibility that one often feels propels us to take chances in life that older and wiser people might not take. For example, when young, we often choose our mates on superficial characteristics. For example: Is s/he good looking? This question may have evolved as a way to determine the health characteristics of a person during the age that they are most fertile. It also can reflect how high a status level a mate might have (especially in males), as both attractiveness and height can reflect both physical health and social position.
But what questions should we ask as we get older? What advantages do we have because we have successfully made it to old age? This is where I feel that I have gotten better as I've gotten older. Yes, my body is slowly breaking down as a normal part of aging. But the memories and skills I've developed over those years have given me the insights to ask better questions when choosing a mate.
Lately, I've been thinking about how many big mistakes I've made in my life. Some of these mistakes occurred because I didn't have enough knowledge to make wise decisions. Others were made because I didn't have the skills to implement those wise decisions. When I was young, I had low expectations - if the woman I dated accepted me and we didn't kill each other, then she was acceptable. Can I say that I'd have married my late wife had I known what would happen in the future? Maybe not. But would she have chosen me had she known what would occur in our marriage? Again, maybe not. I could say similar things about other women I've dated. But with RQS, both of us knew what we were getting early on in our relationship, and we have similar values with complimentary communication styles. This makes having a healthy relationship possible, and we have yet to shout "Tastes Great!" or "Less Filling!" at each other..
Many men look for "a nurse and a purse" when they look for a woman in their senior years. Women also look for the same, with emphasis on the purse due to inequality of wealth between the genders. Neither of us wanted that. We simply wanted companionship, with a little romance on the side. RQS knew I was transgender from our second date, and I knew about her issues the day I met her. We feel good when we're together, and I'm glad that she brings up issues for me to handle before they have the chance to fester and cause us problems.
I'm hoping that we'll be able to take advantage of the benefits of being old before the drawbacks cripple us and make it impossible for us to enjoy the rest of our lives. After my mom died, my dad became less active over the years, and eventually not able to live on his own. Neither RQS nor I want to have old age take away our abilities to live life without being in a care home. The care home may be in our futures. But until then, we will try to live as best we can. (Albeit with me in dresses most of the time.)
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But what do I worry about?
Lately, I find myself worrying about the possibility that the United States will become a fundamentalist "Christian" autocracy led by a bombastic narcissistic grifter. It's bad enough that this person is a cult leader. Unfortunately, we have seen the mess he made of this country in his 4 years in power. Now, he has had 4 years to learn how to cement his control over the country, I'm afraid of what he will do to anyone who is not a white, straight, christian, cisgender male. As it stands GOP loyalists have turned the clock back to 1973. I'm afraid that it will turn the clock back to 1925.
If we examine the events that occurred to end the "Roaring Twenties", American society changed from being an optimistic, outward looking people to a pessimistic, inward looking people within a few years. What will happen if the GOP gets full control of the country again? Will they screw things up as they did in the 1920's? Will America become more like Nazi Germany than the USA under the New Deal? Who knows? But this is what I worry about at night....
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