The future looks scary, and not for the expected reasons.

 

Even though I am turning 67 this year, death hasn't yet scared me that much.  I still see a future ahead of me, and then - who knows?  But what does scare me is that I am transgender, and that the "religious right" in politics is targeting people like me for their pogroms.

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Recently, I awoke to a rerun of a program discussing how the Christian Nationalists are plotting to take over the levers of American government and take away hard earned rights from the LGBTIQ community.  This scares me, as I have been open enough to be easily persecuted if the worst happens.  Yet, I feel that I will have enough time to pack up my bags and find a temporary home if the worst happens.

But why does the fear of religious persecution keep me up at night, and not that of death?

All people die.  Why worry about something you can't control or avoid?  But being persecuted is something I might be able to avoid, and history has shown that it is possible if one is able to act early enough.  Right now, I fear that I might be living in the equivalent of Germany's Weimar Republic of the 1920's, and that we may soon enter the equivalent of the Third Reich of the 1930's.  Given that we know what happened to Germany in 1945, there is a lot for a thinking person to be worried about.

Do I have a plan for the worst case scenario?

Right now, I am working on an escape plan.  But this is not enough.  Anyone who leaves this mess may need to bring their money with them as well.  If I were in my 20's, I'd leave this country and put down roots elsewhere.  Canada might not be a good option, as I remember what happened to Austria when the Nazis had power.  The last thing that the US or Canada needs is to unify under a single government.  Ireland or the UK would be good options, but could they maintain their own independence? 

In youth, it's easy to find places where one can start life anew.  If I had to leave the US when I was in my 20's, I'd have had my choice of English speaking nations.  But 40 years later, I no longer have the skills that would make me desirable candidate to be accepted in a new country.

So, what am I doing?

For the most part, I'm speaking my truth to others, hoping they will see the dangers coming from the right.  Sadly, I think identity politics is finally going to get the best of America, and that I may find myself looking for the nearest border if the worst happens....

Rambling on a little....

 

When I have no urgent commitments for the day, I tend to do nothing.  Today, I did it well.  My energy levels usually don't start rising until the afternoon.  And then, it's often too late to do much of anything. This was my day today. With that being said, I still got around to doing a little reading - something I don't make enough time to do. 

One of the things I usually put off doing is laundry.  Most of us tend to put this task off until we have enough whites or colors to fill a basket, and do the laundry one load at a time.  Living in an apartment, I have to do the laundry within a certain time period during the day, and it's not convenient for me. So, it's a task I put off until I have no choice but to take care of it.  And that will be the first thing I do tomorrow.

Like many procrastinators, I tend to put off certain tasks that I hate doing.  In my case, it's dealing with people.  I have to figure out how to get rid of a sofa, and feel much more comfortable communicating with emails, than to pick up a phone and talk with a human.  (Could it be a fear of having "no" told to me?  Or, is it a simple case of ambivalence?  Who knows?)  I did make a call to the Salvation Army to see if they could accept a donation of my sofa, and if they could pick it up.  Unfortunately, their phone system has people call a central number, which then gets forwarded to a regional site - and that site was busy.  No provision was made to take a message.  Then, I sent an email to a local outlet of Habitat for Humanity to ask the same question .  And this time, I got a response - the person I need to reach won't be back until after the holiday.  Until I know how and when my sofa will leave this apartment, I can't buy its' replacement.  AARGH!!!!

Given everything, I shouldn't be in a rush to spend money.  I have bills coming in, and I shouldn't touch my 401k unless I need to do so.  At least, I have this option, where many people my age don't have my resources.  Right now, I have 4 known big ticket expenses to plan for:

1. New Car
2. New Sofa
3. New Mattress
4. Norway Cruise
   

Of these, I only plan to finance the car with a bank loan - everything else will be paid for out of current income or savings.  But, I won't get financing from a dealer.  Most can't be trusted as far as one can spit.  If I see anything questionable on the deal, I will walk away - as I did last year when a dealer in Goshen, NY decided to hide a bogus $900 charge in the contract. 

You'll notice that I've said nothing about my partner or being transgender.  As I've noted elsewhere, this blog chronicles my life. Being trans or having a partner are only parts of my life.  But I do take interest in current events involving the transgender community, such as Canada's recent advisory to those in the LGBTIQ community in regard to visiting the USA.  It's sad to know that our Northern Neighbor would protect my rights more than my country would protect mine....