I always dread going to my doctor, as he always focuses on my weight. Although he made his usual comments about my weight (though I was down several pounds on his scale), he finally paid some attention to the problems I've been having in my back and with my legs. And he did this only because he was instructing a trainee who needed some field experience in addition to her class work. If there was any doubt in my mind that it's time to change doctors, it has gone away. It's now mental inertia that gets in the way of making a switch.
As I get older, I'm noticing the slings and arrows of old age. The indignities of aging are annoying at best. Arthritis is a constant presence - especially when the weather changes. (What old person can't predict the weather by the pains in his/her joints.) I notice that I'm weaker than I used to be. No longer can I imagine helping two men lug my entertainment center up the stairs to my apartment, when I'm having problems bringing my laundry up and down the stairs. And, sexual dysfunction is a norm, not an abnormal occurrence. Yet, in a strange way, it makes it easier for this trans woman to shift into a more female existence.
It's easier for me to go out as Marian these days, as I've gotten much more confident in my presentation. Several times as of late, I've noticed women make the kind of friendly compliments to me that they would only reserve for other women. Yet, there is still a long road ahead of me on this path to being accepted as a woman. I know that there will be many bumps on this path, but it's better to hot them than not proceed any further.
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