A trans person now living in their originally assigned gender

 

I'm going to try and not mention the name of the person who inspired this post.  The reason I am doing so is to protect this person's privacy - even though this person was "out" for the better part of a decade.  

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I didn't know much about the LGBT community when I decided to come out.  Even more importantly, I didn't know much about being transgender, nor did I know people who have identified themselves as trans and later decided that they were not trans.  Today, I have found out that one person I know as a M2F trans gal is going back to live as a cisgender male.

It came as a shock that this person has reverted to the gender assigned at birth.  But I saw a sign of this the other day, when I saw a post for a performance he was going to be in.  Now that I know what is going on, I am glad that I didn't make the effort to go see him that day.  I wasn't prepared to see him and be in a situation where both of us might be uncomfortable.

Reverting to a former identity is not easy, and takes as much courage as outing one's self in the first place.  This person has found that living as a trans female has helped him in his life as a cisgender male.  As for me, I have found that my male identity has improved, now that I am out and living as a bi-gendered person.  Am I trans?  Yes.  I'd rather have been born with the other "plumbing" configuration.  Yet, I don't have the severe gender dysphoria that many trans people have.  

Hopefully, this person will be happy in whatever life brings to him/her.  Will he revert to a trans identity?  Some trans people have gone back and forth between identities. Yet, most tend to retain a trans identity once they are "out" to the world.  I'm looking forward to being in contact with him sometime in the future.  But I just don't want it to be an awkward meeting.....

Taking care of medical business

One of the problems that I've had over the years is keeping my prescriptions straight.  No, I'm not talking about which drug to take and when to take it.  Instead, it's getting the orders in sync enough, so that I can expect all of my prescriptions at the same time when I am ready to reorder them.  This is not usually something that can easily be done, as none of the processes in place are geared to sync up prescriptions A, B, C, and D that are prescribed at different times, so that they can be delivered in one periodic shipment.

As much as I have to live with the headaches of a system not designed for patient convenience, I am most annoyed by a system that relies on inefficient mechanisms to confirm that a doctor wants to renew his/her patients' prescriptions.  When a recent drug (noted above) needed physician approval for refill (my 3 x 30 day orders were up), the system depended on me to contact the physician instead of providing him/her with a list of patients/drugs up for refill, and an easy way of checking off everything needed for the approvals. (This is how I see it.  It may be much easier from my doctor's point of view.)  So I had to chase down my doctor, and have his office send in the renewal.  To make things worse, is that there is no way for me to switch a prescription to go to the mail order pharmacy - I must go through the doctor.  (Even this is reasonable, but inconvenient for people like me.)  But what happens when a prescription is lost in limbo, like the one above?

Last Friday, I noticed a problem with the above prescription.  Unfortunately, my doctor was off for the weekend.  So I had to make a phone call on Monday morning.  The problem wasn't fixed on Monday (a slip up by the doctor's office), and I had to supply even more information to the office, so that they could get things straight.  Luckily, after my call back, things finally got fixed.  With only 7 pills left in the old prescription, I'm glad things are moving forward again.

There has to be a much better way.  Is this a problem in other countries?  The American medical system is extremely inefficient, and I wish I had access to something better.  We aren't getting our money's worth.  Doctors, Nurses, and other medical staff are not getting their fair share of monies being spent on health care.  The only people making out in our system are the big players: the major hospital chains and big pharma.  Hopefully, market pressures will eventually force our system to provide better value for monies being spent on it.  But I don't see that happening in my lifetime.
 

I'm looking for a cheap cruise without a single supplement.

 

I took the above cruise a few years ago.  Would I take it again?  Probably not.  But, if I were to see a cheap cruise like it offered on Princess without a single supplement that sails out of New York, I'd jump at the chance to take it.

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There is a problem with cruising.  In many ways, its like taking a tour bus, except that it covers a larger area on water.  If I were to take a tour bus to see the sights in San Francisco, the knowledge that I'd gain from that bus ride would give me an idea of where to focus my exploration on a day to day basis.  Cruising is much the same, as it helps familiarize a person with the important things that can be seen in a coastal area.  In the Caribbean, I like to say that each island consists of 3 main things: a beach, a fort, and a shopping district.  The size and scope of these things differ from island to island, but for the most part, there is not much difference between the islands.

With the above being said, cruising can be a great way to detach from the world.  When I was still employed by the bank, I found that NOT being able to read my emails or make phone calls from the ship forced me to disconnect.  There is an art to disconnecting from the world.  But once it is mastered, one can relax without pressures of the outside world getting in the way.  (Leave your phone on, and you can receive both a large phone bill upon your return and bad news to be processed while still on the ship.) 

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So, why do I cruise?  I guess it's habit.  I've gotten used to the idea of staying in a hotel that moves from port to port, and not having to pack and unpack at each destination.

Reading a 40+ year old book

 

 
Most people only know of the movie based on this book and its sequel.  There is no way that I was going to spend $250+ to buy a used copy of this book, so I decided to try to get an inter-system loan of the book from my local library.  Last week, the book came in to the library, and I picked it up.

Unlike most books withdrawn from the local library, inter-system loans are not renewable. Inter-system loans MUST be returned to the library from which they were borrowed.  A $2.00/day late charge is charged for any book not returned on time.  So I made it my highest priority to read this book as soon as I got it, and did just that.  I might just reread it before I return it, as I doubt that I will ever have a hard copy of this book in my hands again.

The movie follows the basic theme of the book without the setup for a possible sequel.  However, the book is much darker, as Eddie is known to be dead, and vultures are circling to find Eddie's lost recordings. Unlike the movie, the "Wordman" character is always front and center throughout the book, save for when people are relating their stories about Eddie.  All of the important descriptions of Eddie and his band have been carried from the book to the film.  

Luckily, I saw the movie before reading the book.  If I had read the book first, I'd have been disappointed in how the story was adapted to allow for a sequel.  But, having seen the movie, I can appreciate the book even more, as I separate out all the chaff from the story in my mind as I read the book.  If you get a chance to read this book - do so.  It is worth the time and effort.

Getting ready to book a Norwegian Fjord cruise.

 

Norway, land of Fjords.  This country's natural beauty draws me to see it before several of the fjords are closed to conventionally powered cruise ships.  Having cruised Alaska when I was younger, I know the value of seeing a land with much awe inspiring scenery.  On this trip, RQS will be with me, and I will have someone special with whom I can share this experience and the memories that it brings long after the cruise is over.

Right now, RQS and I are finalizing key details for this cruise.  We expect to be able to spend a day with my niece before our cruise.  It will be the first time either of us has left North America (save for my trip to Hawaii), and I am a little bit nervous.  Europe is foreign to me, and cruising provides enough hand holding for me to see the sights where we're going without limiting my choices to an excessive degree.

One port that I intend to visit is Flaam. The main attraction for me is the railroad.  As I like to remind RQS, I've been interested in trains since I was a wee little child.  I can't wait to go on this train and see the sights. But there is so much more to see. So our task is to determine which shore excursions we really want to go on, and purchase them well before the cruise.

We've budgeted approximately $7,000 each for this trip.  Like many "Bucket List" journeys, it is expensive.  We could have chosen a cruise that starts in Southampton, sails for several days in Norwegian waters, and then goes to Iceland for a few days before returning to Southampton.  Instead, we've chosen a cruise that sails directly from its home port to Norway, and then oozes its way along the Norwegian coast and through its fjords before returning home.

Luckily, both of our passports have several years to go before renewal.  However, we do not yet know whether we will need UK and/or EU entry permits.  We asked our Travel Agent about this, and he has no answers yet for cruisers.  I figure that I'll pay the small price for both entry permits and drop a $20 bill to be safe....

A quick run for lobster before the movie.

Both RQS have a craving for lobster rolls.  We'll go out of our way when we can to catch up with the Lobster Truck to get our fix.  This week was different.  Instead of chasing the lobster truck, we went to Stew Leonard's for their summer weekend lobster cart.  And it was almost as yummy as lobster from the truck.

But first....

RQS planned to come to my place, so that we could go see the movie "Oppenheimer" on the IMAX screen at a theater on the other side of the Hudson.  I was in Marian mode when she arrived, and she commented that she'd have been surprised to find me in a pair of trousers.  That made my day in a very pleasant way!

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Saturday came, and we proceeded to Stew's for lobster rolls.  Unfortunately, there were no more seats at the theater we wanted to go to, so we had a fallback plan - see the movie at the Drafthouse in Yonkers. In-between lobster and the movie, we killed some time at the book store, and proceeded to the theater in time to see the movie.

I was glad to have some background knowledge about  J. Robert Oppenheimer and the Manhattan Project before seeing this film.  Coming out of the movie, I had a better understanding of why this man was the least likely person to lead such a large project, and why this man was to be spit out by the powers that be shortly after he was no longer needed.  Like many excessively smart people,genius in one part of his brain was balanced with character deficiencies in another part.  Even though I am nowhere near his level of intelligence, I understand the nature of someone like Oppenheimer, as I have similar flaws of a lesser magnitude.

Would I have wanted to live Oppenheimer's life?  No!   He was a great man, but with greatness comes people trying to bring you down.  That has happened in my life, and I have suffered for it.  I am grateful that I never had a burden like he had....

 

A conversation with a friend.

 

The other day, I had a conversation with my friend Vicki.  She's been a good friend for several decades now, and I've learned to deal with her style of communication.  But there was something in this most recent conversation that got brought my attention to something not being said.

But first....

Vicki and I have been trying to have a chat for a while.  Either she's been too busy at work, or I've been too busy in my own life.  So, it was nice to be able to catch up with her on the phone after dinner the other day. (Normally, we'd have already scheduled a dinner, but she has a cough that isn't going away soon.  So, a phone call had to do.)  I don't know how to describe Vicki's style other than to say that she is a dominant person who forgets that sometimes, she has to listen to others more and not try to solve problems that are not ready to be solved.  And this is what got to me a little in our chat.

We started out with Vicki talking about her cough, and how little could be done about it.  She didn't have Covid-19, or any other of the ailments that could explain the cough.  Instead, the docs told her that the bug she has is viral, and she'll have to wait until it's gone.  Then, we talked about Vicki's retirement planning - when she'll retire, where she will relocate (for tax purposes), and how she will divest herself of a New York presence to qualify as a resident of another state.  (Any more details, and I'll go into things that should be kept private.)  Like most people, she will have a lot on her plate to take care of when she transitions from a working person to a retired person. But I digress....

Our conversation shifted to my long term plans with RQS, And that's where the part of Vicki's personality that I don't like came out.  Neither RQS nor myself has been able to figure out how we'd merge our households, nor have we figured out where we'd live.  We both feel that we need to rid ourselves of a lot of the clutter in our apartments before we even try to figure out how to combine households.  Once I mentioned that we're with each other 3 or 4 days out of 7, she started to try to solve the problems RQS and I would need to deal with in a few years - and this was off putting.  These problems are a few years in front of us yet, and I had to remind Vicki that we're living in the present, and not dwelling in the future or the past.  We'll deal with these issues closer to the time they come up, as we're busy with issues of the present.  Eventually, Vicki got the hint and apologized - she sensed what she was doing, and noted that it is a problem that she has....

The rest of our chat went well, and ended a few minutes later when her coughing got the better of her.  Hopefully, the cough will go away soon, so that we can finally get together for dinner again.