It's been a long time since I was at a meetup

 

TCL will never understand why I attend meetups as Marian.  But then, she can never understand what it's like being transgender, and why I want to live life as a female.  So, I only try to get together with her when I know I'll have to be in Mario mode for something else that day.

- - - - - -

Today was not a day I would have wanted to see TCL.  I was lethargic for most of the day, and I would have skipped out on going to a meetup had I committed myself to this dinner in Pleasantville.  So I made sure to set several alarms to get me moving when I needed to do so.  

Around 4 pm, I got showered and dressed.  However, I didn't know what to wear.  It was too chilly for me to wear a dress, as I would have stood out from cisgender women on a day like this.  So I looked for a comfortable sweater top and a pair of women's trousers I could wear, and found something I haven't worn in a couple of years.

I arrived in Pleasantville 30 minutes early, and decided to play games on my phone to kill time.  Shortly after I walked into the restaurant, DS showed up.  A few minutes later, everyone else showed up, and we proceeded to order dinner.  After some more time, my Jambalaya arrived, and I was getting stuffed before I finished what was on my plate.  But I made sure to leave room for bread pudding for dessert.  

Around 8:30 pm, it was time to go.  As I walked to my car, one of the fellows at the meetup complimented me on what I was wearing.  Was this a polite comment?  Or, was he trying to show an interest in getting to know me better?  I didn't have the benefit of a young adulthood as a female, so I'm not always sure of how to read men while out as Marian.  But at least, I know this fellow to be a harmless gentleman....

We made a decision (a short post)

 

I can't go into details yet, but we have decided to replace one of my co-op's important vendors. In my opinion, they did a crappy job, and I'm glad that we started the process of switching vendors.

- - - - - -

For some reason, I woke up at 7 am, 3 hours earlier than planned.  So I was worried that I'd be sleepy by the time I met my friend for lunch.  Of course, I needn't have worried.  At 10 or so, I got showered, made up and dressed, to make it to lunch at 11:30.  One problem - the restaurant didn't open until noon.  My friend met me at the restaurant, and we ended up driving into town to go to another restaurant that we knew was open.

We sat down for lunch at the local Italian joint, where I ordered a sandwich and she ordered a slice.  And then we caught up on each others' lives. I mentioned both my Philadelphia trip and my Bermuda cruise, and she talked about her son away at college.  I was a more relaxed conversation than usual in spite of the noise that made it hard to hear each other.

All too soon, lunch had to end.  We set a date for next month, and she was off to pick her younger son off at school.  So, I dropped off my early voting ballot off at the post office, then went home to rest.

- - - - - -

The co-op board meeting started at 7, and lasted 90 minutes.  We reviewed recent developments and then cast our votes.  We decided to replace the vendor.  Not much took place after that, save to review what would be covered at our upcoming meetings and when they would be scheduled.   I will say more about things as they become public knowledge.  Until then, watch this space....

Meeting with RQS's friends (a short post)

 

I wasn't originally in the mood to meet a couple of RQS's friends.  Not because I was against meeting them, but because the two of us would have to wake up early on a Saturday to do so.

- - - - - -

Getting up early is not something RQS and I do on weekends.  As I write this at 9:15 am, I've been out of bed for 30 minutes and RQS is still sawing wood.  I expect that the lumber mill will be running for another hour or so.  (But I still could be wrong.) So, we wouldn't have as much energy as many people do when starting the day.

After getting showered and dressed, we drove down to Yonkers to the Irish Coffee Shop for brunch with her friends.  The conversation flowed like water, and it allowed all of us to be open about things we might keep to ourselves under other circumstances (e.g. the presence of a parent who has strongly different political views.)  Given one of her friends' career choices was to help the transgender community, I decided to out myself, and was met with open arms.  

All too soon, brunch had to end.  We promised to meet again, then RQS and I went to Stew Leonard's for food shopping. $100 later, we were out the door and on our way home for the day.  Although we planned to go out again, we were in for the night. 

Bermuda Cruise 2024 #1 - Sea Day #3 (10/03/24)

 

The day started by the two of rushing to get showered and dressed in advance of the 9:30 am cutoff time for breakfast in the main dining room. As usual, I ordered the "Express Breakfast" which consisted of eggs, sausage, bacon, and toast.  With 3 cups of coffee, that's more than enough to get me going for the day. Yet, we went back to the room to rest, as there was nothing interesting on the schedule for us to leave our cabin.  So, I found myself watching a movie on TCM, while RQS was reading a book on the cabin's balcony.

Today would be our first lunch in the MDR, and we both enjoyed a cerviche for a starter.  RQS had a Cobb Salad, while I had the Fish and Chips.  Although the Fish and Chips weren't up to the standards set by A Salt and Battery in Greenwich Village, it would be acceptable for a decent "Chippy" in the UK.  While eating, a man sitting at the next table struck up a conversation with us about cruising and asked us about our food experience with Princess.  This conversation went on for a few minutes, as we talked about our food experiences on the various cruise lines.  Before leaving for a movie, I gave him info on my cruise travel blog, so that he can read it when he gets the chance.  

After the movie, we went to a lounge for a drink, and ended up striking up a conversation with 2 young ladies regarding cruising.  This was their second cruise, and I ended up giving them information about the cruise blog as well.  It seems like being on a cruise might be the best way to drum up business for the future. 

Around 6:45, we went to the last of the specialty restaurants for this trip, Hola Tacos.  It is the least expensive of MSC's specialty restaurants, but the one I enjoy most on the ship.  After having soup, tacos, burritos, and quesadillas, it was time to compare the flan in the main dining room to the flan served in this restaurant - and the difference was like night and day.  The desserts in this restaurant, like all in the specialty restaurants, are better than those from the MDR.  We'll be sure to return here on our next MSC cruise.

Later on, we went to a comedy show in the main theater starring Ken Boyd, and enjoyed the show.  We'll be sure to see him tomorrow night for his adults only show.  But the point of note here was that we stumbled into a Trump supporter when I mentioned to RQS that a celebrity was advocating for the release of the Menendez brothers - possible victims of sexual abuse by their father.  Although the DA hasn't taken a position on the case, he is looking into whether the brothers should remain incarcerated, given what we now know about being a victim of sexual abuse. RQS couldn't deal with this person, but I was able to engage her without incident.  Yet, there is a part of me that gets very frustrated by people who get their news only from very biased sources and do not see the bias.  

Tomorrow is another sea day, and it would have been the last day we would have spent in Bermuda.  I feel lucky that we will be going back there soon, especially being able to present as Marian on this trip....

Bermuda Cruise 2024 #1 - Sea Day #2 (10/01/24)

 

Last night, ship time moved forward 1 hour, adjusting for the time zone in use in Bermuda. So this meant that we had to go to the buffet for breakfast, and got there just in time - some of the stations were already changing over for people to have lunch.

After breakfast, it was back to our room.  While there, the captain made an announcement.  Due to inclement weather expected in Bermuda later in the week, the ship may have to adjust its schedule in port for the safety of its passengers.  As a result, we made sure to book our excursion to the Crystal Caves for tomorrow, and let someone else handle the logistics of the trip.  (We had originally planned to take Bermuda's buses to reach the caves, but we didn't want to wait outdoors if it were raining.)  

Later on in the day, we started to get dressed for gala night.  While dressing, the captain announced that we'd be cutting short our stay in Bermuda, and that we'd have an extra 2 sea days before returning to New York.  RQS got dressed in a formal dress with a sparkling red jacket, while I dressed in a dark grey suit.  (I wish I could be wearing the dress on this trip, but I digress.)  Our first stop was at a photography station, where the two of us posed for several pictures.  Then it was off to the MDR for gala night dinner.  Lobster was on the menu, and I paid extra for an extra portion. Although it was a bargain at $5 for the extra portion, it wasn't a cold water lobster tail.  Both RQS and I noted that it was lacking flavor.  At least we had another nice conversation with the couple sitting next to us.

Unfortunately, we missed the late show in the theater.  So it was back to our cabin to watch a movie while the VP candidates had their debate.

 

 

Meeting up for dinner in White Plains

 

It seems like a long while since I've been to a dinner meetup - even though I was at one as recently as last week.  But then, my short term memory isn't as good as I'd like it to be these days. 😉

- - - - - -

As usual, I prepared for my meetup by finding a nice dress to wear, and refreshing my makeup.  (Do I ever go anywhere as Mario anymore if I can avoid it?)  Then it was off to La Bocca in White Plains.  Although I've been to meetups with this group before, I had not yet met tonight's organizer.  (I don't have much to say about her, as she is a pleasant person who I'd like to get to know better as a friend.) The conversation at the table flowed like water, as there were enough different topics for us to chat about without becoming awkward.

But I've neglected the most important past of the meetup - the food!

La Bocca is a mildly upscale Italian restaurant.  Being in Downtown White Plains, this restaurant likely has a high rent.  So it has to recoup that expense in slightly higher prices than I'm accustomed to be paying for Italian food.  But the food is worth every cent.  I had the Octopus Salad as a starter, consisting of various greens and thick, tasty tomato slices with several cooked octopus limbs on top.  Yum!  My main course was Chicken Scarapariello.  And it was served without bones.  YUM!  The only drawback to this place is the parking.  If one doesn't know White Plains, there is almost no on-street parking.  Instead, there are quite a few municipal parking lots squeezed in between office buildings which one must use.  This can be confusing for people not familiar with the area.

All too soon, our group finished dinner, and we were on our way home.  I figured that I'd register for some new meetups when I got home, and found out that I was taken off the wait list.  I am now scheduled for several more over the next two weeks, including one in NYC for its restaurant week.  (I won't say much about the NYC restaurant, save that it is known for a steak named after the restaurant.)

As you can guess, I'm looking forward to eating with nice people again....

 

 

 

 

 

Getting my ears pierced (again) & Dinner with a friend.

 

This is another one of the iPhone pictures that I had problems receiving and moving to my PC.  Seems like Apple found a new way to name image files which make people using non-Apple equipment have problems extracting and saving more than one image file in a single message.

- - - - - -

When I got up and ready to drop RQS off at the train station, I decided to wear the same dress she was wearing (albeit in a larger size).  This made her smile a bit.  And then it was off to the piercing studio to get my ears repierced.  I arrived at the studio around 12:30 pm, and was out the door by 1:30 pm, with studs in each earlobe, and $170 less in my wallet.  So what did I do next?  It was to go home to strip and relax.  Several hours later, I decided to get dressed in something new - the jumpsuit I purchased from Universal Standard.

Now, I won't wear this jumpsuit too often, as it  gets in the way when I need to take a bio break.  I have to plan to be able to remove this jumpsuit gracefully when I go to the ladies' room, and put it back on (along with a top I plan to wear with it) before reappearing in public.  Today, I wanted to look pretty and wear something different in my wardrobe.  So I wore this with a neutral linen shirt over it.

I arrived at the restaurant a few minutes before my friend, and we proceeded to have a nice dinner at the Himalayan restaurant in Yorktown Heights.  It was a yummy meal.  And the conversation was even better, as the two of us were able to talk about things AND assume the other could process things at the same level.  (Did I say that my friend has a doctorate and speaks several languages, including German which has mostly been forgotten?)  I don't mean to sound snobbish.  But when one is a lesser grade polymath, it's nice to be able to talk with another polymath - and this person is a polymath.

All too soon, the restaurant had to close.  My friend asked me to advise her on Alaska shore excursions she could take that would allow her to do some serious wildlife viewing while accommodating her handicap.  Hopefully, I can find some excursions for her, so that she might be able to plan a cruise soon.

Lunch with a friend, then dinner with a meetup - a quick post.

 

Yes, I had two meals out today, and I'm going to pay for it when I look at the scale tomorrow morning.  Being more serious, there were so many things I wanted to take care of today, but didn't have the energy to do much more than to go out for lunch and for dinner - both as Marian.

My alarms and reminders were set, and I was ready to go to meet SJM at the Capri pizzeria in Ossining at 12:30 pm.  For a change, I arrived on time - and SJM was late for a change.  I won't go into details, but she had resolved the issue she called me about last week, and she vented a little about all the issues she currently has on her plate.  Considering what's she's dealing with, she could use a vacation from her life for a while.  

After lunch, I went home and napped for a while before going to my meetup in Scarsdale.  For those unfamiliar with the neighborhood, parking is always at a premium in this town, and it is one of the most desirable places to own a home in the county.  (It often ranks among the top 5 most expensive neighborhoods in the USA - and for good reason.  I wish I could afford to live there.)   I found a spot directly across the street from the upscale Chinese restaurant, and arrived a minute or two late.  (This was not a problem, as no one had yet placed an order.)  As usual, I got into some nice conversations with the ladies, one of whom was asking me for recommendations for a long delayed honeymoon trip with her husband.  I recommended NCL's Hawaii Cruisetour, but noted that it is a shore excursion intense cruise which would keep them exhausted.  I then noted that they wouldn't have the energy for romance, and she responded - they had more than enough time for romance when they'd get home.

When dinner was over, a group of us walked over to the heart of town for ice cream.  Although we first headed to a small ice cream shop in town, it was too crowded for comfort.  So we walked over to the Haagen Dazs shop across the street.  A little bit later, it was time to go home.  And it felt real nice to finally take off my bra for the evening.

Norwegian Fjord Cruise Vacation - 06/15/24 (Leaving for Southampton and starting our cruise)

 

This was one of the most uneventful parts of our trip so far, and yet I feel that there is something important to note....

- - - - - -

London traffic makes New York, Chicago and Los Angeles traffic look like their drivers are running in the Indianapolis 500.  Given the distance between Heathrow Airport and London's central district, it took 2+ hours to reach out hotel.  Going to Southampton was worse, as it took 3 hours to reach the cruise terminal - an hour of that inside metropolitan London itself.  This is one city in which I never will under any circumstances drive any motor vehicle, nor should any one else do so unless s/he is a bus driver.

Arriving at the cruise terminal, I was impressed at how quickly we were processed, given that Princess Cruises' computers were acting up and that they both had to find our Medallions and warn us that our security photos might have to be retaken onboard the ship.  (We were lucky - we scanned onto the ship without problems.)

Our first stop was to our cabin, where we found a plate of chocolate covered strawberries waiting for us.  Once we watched the muster video, it was off to the grill for burgers and dogs before checking in at our muster station.  But this was not the only thing we had to do.  RQS had bought an extra pair of specialty dinners that were not being recorded on the folio.  First, we had to nap, as we were still suffering from disruption to our sleep schedules.

After our nap, it was off to the main dining room (MDR) for dinner, where we had an enjoyable chat with two families residing in the UK.  Towards the end of dinner, I got on my soapbox a little and mentioned that the populist, right wing, authoritarian trends we're seeing in the west shouldn't be unfamiliar, as they are the same as what happened in Europe in the 1920's and 1930's.  (RQS said that I didn't go too far or too heavy on the topic.)  Luckily, I didn't offend the families, as I was feeling no pain after two glasses of wine and a double espresso with two shots of Sambuca.

Finally, we were off to Guest Services, where our claim of having 4 paid for specialty dinners was confirmed.  We could now rest easily for the evening. And, boy did I need to rest - this was the first time I could say that I wasn't sober enough to drive in years.  I'm glad I left that task to the ship's captain....

Was she dead or alive? Inquiring minds wanted to know.

 

I hadn't seen Pat in months, and I haven't been able to reach her by voice or text.  Given that she's 84 years old, I figured that I should take a drive to her care home to see what was going on....

- - - - - -

Today's weather report predicted a strong chance of rain for the evening - but I decided to brave the weather anyway.  So, around 6:30 pm, I decided to get dressed and drive across the river to Pat's care home.  As I crossed the river, the clouds looked ominous, and I knew that heavy rains were going to come.

I arrived at Pat's place around 7:15, and the receptionist said "long time, no see". Then she told me how to use the new system to record visitors to the building.  My face was scanned, and then I proceeded upstairs to see Pat.  Strangely enough, we got into a serious conversation where we didn't disagree much. Then we talked about me being transgender and how she didn't understand why a man would want to be a woman.  I noted that I didn't have severe gender dysphoria, but that I would rather have been born female - with all the problems that women have to deal with throughout their lives.   The conversation then shifted to sex, but not in a graphic way.  Specifically, I wondered why human males evolved to have 25%-33% more average body mass than human females, and how this is reflected in the first position we think of when a man and woman have sex.  I contrasted this with Bonobo ape sexual behavior, wondering if there is any beneficial evolutionary advantage in how humans have sex.

Of course, I can't do our conversation justice.  It was one of those "you had to be there" moments that will be forever lost in time.  But I did look at Pat's phone to see why she says she is having trouble with the phone.  And I found that she didn't have the phone's ringer set loud enough to be heard.  Once I set the ringer to a loud enough volume, I tested it and it worked properly.  Now, Pat should be able to hear the phone ring - until she screws up the volume again....

California Vacation - Day 08 (San Diego)

 

San Diego.  It was nice NOT having to entertain my new friend for a change.  She found someone else to keep her company, and I can have free time for myself for the last day of the cruise.

- - - - - -

But let me start at the beginning....

Again, I didn't get a good sleep, and woke up much earlier than needed.  It was just as well, as I had a schedule for the day: Have Breakfast in the buffet, then get off the ship and see RQS's cousin.  Since I didn't make arrangements to see my new friend, I enjoyed breakfast without having to talk with anyone. And then, all I had to do was wait for RQS's cousin (I'll call her "C" for now) to arrive at the pier.

Around 11 am, C arrived, and I met her in a female presentation for the first time.  There was no strange reaction, and C made the effort to call me Marian for the entire time we spent together.  We weren't sure of what we were going to do at first.  Did we want to go to the Zoo?  Or, did we just want to hang out and chat?  Chatting won out.  

C drove me through downtown San Diego to show me around, then she drove to Harbor Island where we sat on a park bench for 90 minutes before going to a local restaurant which overlooked the water.  Lunch was my treat - I was glad to show her that I appreciated her company.  And she was glad that RQS and I found each other. All too soon, C had to go home.  She didn't want to drive in rush hour traffic, and I wanted to get back to the ship.  So, C dropped me off and I did my thing onboard the ship.

- - - - - -

Once back onboard the ship, I took a break before going to dinner.  I had reservations for a shared table, and was willing to wait until other people showed up. While waiting, I saw one of the people I dined with last night. and said hello just before they finished their after dinner coffee.  It was nice to see him, and even nicer to see his wife.  Too bad she couldn't have been with us at our table - we had a great crowd.

A few minutes later, a lovely couple from the North of England joined me.  We enjoyed chatting about shoes and ships and sealing wax, and whether the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings.  Needless to say, I wished we could have chatted longer in a more quiet place.  Then, it was time to go back to my room for the evening.

California Vacation - Day 05 (San Francisco)

 

26 years ago, I scattered my late wife's ashes in a spot under the Golden Gate Bridge, right behind Fort Point.  Due to 9/11, this spot is no longer accessible to the public.  But I try to get as close as possible each time I visit this city.  Today's visit would be special, as I don't see myself coming back to this city for a while.

- - - - - -

When I got up this morning, I planned to drop by Fort Point and then visit the Swan Oyster Depot for lunch.  My plans were to visit the fort first, and then take Muni (SF's Mass Transit system) to the Oyster Depot for lunch.  These plans were blown to pieces early in the day, when a lady asked if she could share my table at the buffet.

This lady and I start chatting, and it was as if we had been related to each other in a prior life.  We chatted from 9:30 am to 2:00 pm without stopping.  She never picked up on the fact that I am not a cisgender woman, as I code shifted my conversation to refer to my life with my late wife as if she were my late husband.  We talked about many of the things that only women could experience, such as "Boob Sweat" and struggles with one's bra.  We talked about our late spouses.  And we talked about what we liked about the opposite sex.  (I can translate well in a pinch.)  So, when her friend called her, I took this as a good opportunity to make my way to Fort Point via trolley car and bus.

Getting to Fort Point from Pier 27 is relatively easy.  One takes the historic trolley to Fisherman's Wharf, then walks a couple of blocks to catch the 28 bus to the Golden Gate Bridge.  From there, it's a walk of 0.8 miles (all downhill) to the shoreline and then to the Fort.  Once I paid my respects to my late wife (for which this might be the last time), I decided to make it back to the bus station for my return to the ship.  What was an "easy" 0.8 mile downhill walk was an arduous 200 foot uphill trek back (over the same 0.8 miles) to the bus stop.  By the time I reached the bus stop, I felt that I needed a shower.  Only one problem - it would have to be quick, because I had a 5:00 pm reservation at the ship's steakhouse and I would likely be a few minutes late.

When I arrived at the ship, I proceeded to my room, then stripped, showered, dressed (in fresh clothing), and reapplied my makeup before going downstairs to dine.  I chose both the sea scallops (with salmon roe) and the French Onion Soup for appetizers before trying the veal chop.  Although the veal chop was good for what it was, I found that it was not the cut of veal that I like to eat because of the texture of the meat.  (Give me a good queen cut of prime rib from Peter Luger any day....)  However, I don't have any regrets in trying this cut of veal, as I try to try out new things to eat whenever I can.

After dinner, I realized that I needed to rest, and I fell out for an hour or so.  Shortly after waking up for a while, I exchanged a series of messages with RQS before calling it an early night.

California Vacation - Day 04 (Sea Day)

 

My body is still functioning as if it were still in New York.  I awoke around 6:00 am, and found that I had fallen asleep watching a movie last night.  This was OK to me, as I was tired after roughly 4 miles of walking the day before.

Given that I was hungry when I woke up, I knew I wouldn't be ready in time to make it to the sit-down breakfast venues.  So, I ended up going to the buffet, where the food was good, yet had a mass-produced feel about it.  Hopefully, I'll get up early enough tomorrow to enjoy a breakfast in one of the main dining rooms.

- - - - - -

I didn't go straight back to my room after breakfast for some reason.  Instead, I walked the ship a little, looking to see if there was a ship's library. (I didn't find one.)  By the time I was done walking around, it was time for lunch - and I went to one of the sit-down restaurants and got a served meal.  Sadly, I made one mistake:  Instead of ordering the calamari as a small appetizer, I should have ordered a lunch sized portion.  It was that good.  While there, I met another couple, and we chatted about cruising for a while.  I handed the woman information about the Hawaii cruise I took, as well as giving her the info on the travel blog in which I make monthly posts.

Once done with lunch, I went back to the room to freshen up and do some reading.  Soon enough, 4:30 came around, and I prepared to look my prettiest for a formal night.  I was very glad that I had all the accouterments with me to present myself as an elegant, but heavy set lady in her 60's.  Realizing that my second specialty dinner reservation wasn't on the computer, I went down and got a reservation for 1 for 8:00 pm.  And I'm glad I did, as the food was yummy.  First was the Mussels Provinciale.  Then came the "Three S's" - Scotch Salmon, Sea Scallops, and Shrimp.  Although I was not too happy with dessert, it was not because it wasn't' good.  Instead, I was simply not in the mood for this flavor combination.  I'd have rather had only the ice cream that came with the dish.

- - - - - -

After dinner, I went to a show called "Rock Opera" in the main theater.  Although the singers were fantastic, it was not an opera.  It was opera trained musicians overdoing rock classics such as "Total Eclipse of the Heart" and "Sounds of Silence".  Too much background dancing, too much amplification, and too much strength in their voices.  There was no subtlety in the performance.  Yet, I found my feet tapping for most of the songs being sung.

When I arrived at my room, I found a bouquet of flowers.  Seems like my choice of the Princess Premier fare for this cruise gave me a willing raffle entry this trip.  This T-Gal certainly enjoys the flowers in the room.....

Lunch with Maria - with a closeup view of MNRR/Amtrak

 

Today, Maria and I finally got the chance to meet for lunch.  She has her hands full raising her two grandchildren, as well as taking care of a daughter who is not responsible enough to take care of herself and her children.  So, we get together much less often than we would like.  But when we do, the conversation flows like the Niagara river.

Maria wasn't in the best of moods when we got together, as she had several problems on her mind.  I listened a bit, and gave some suggestions when asked. But for the most part, I let her speak until she was ready to let me jump in with the changes going on in my life.  While chatting, both Metro North and Amtrak trains passed by the restaurant, and we had to suspend our conversation for a few seconds while the trains passed by.

I asked Maria if her older daughter was likely to get married, and she noted that this daughter wasn't yet ready for a husband, children, or any of the other situations a woman in her 20's might find herself in. So I had a little fun in mentioning that I'm looking for a good excuse to make myself as pretty as possible again, to wear a fancy dress, and go out in the world as Marian to a formal affair.  Maria smiled at that.  I'm not so sure if this would ever happen, but it would be nice if it does....

Connecting with someone - A short post

 

Today's post will be short.  I had been exchanging emails with someone, and we finally had the chance to chat.  The chat was pleasant, and we will likely have lunch soon.

Why is this important?

Well, to answer that question takes time.  But I'm not going to answer it here.  Instead, I can say that this person was glad that I found someone nice in RQS, and I am glad that she has found someone nice.  It'll be a good thing when we finally meet again.

Reconnecting with people can be both a good and bad thing, depending on the types of ties that bind people together.  One person I know met up with a former roommate for a long weekend, and couldn't wait for that weekend to be over.  Other times, it's like the years that passed were like hours, and things pick up as if nothing happened in between.  In my case, it was good to reconnect.

- - - - - -

Lately, I've been trying to reopen things with a friend from my college days.  A lot of stuff has gone on in his life, much of it related to health and family issues.  His story reminds me of Tolstoy's opening quote from Anna Karenina:

"All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."

With my friend, this is all too true.  I knew him to have an unhappy relationship with his parents and siblings from high school days.  Now, things are even worse.  Hopefully, things will get better from him soon.  At least, he's found a way to retire from his second career.....

Lunch with SJM

 

 

Another day, another lunch....

Today, I caught up with SJM, a former colleague from the imaging firm.  We try to meet every month or so to catch up on things, and I told her all about my December cruise.  Although I was a little long winded, she had a good chance to tell me what has been going on in her life - such as the saga of a car that has been in the collision repair shop more than it has been out of it.  (With these "new fangled computer gizmos," it's hard for the average body shop to get many cars working as if they were new without dealer/factory assistance.)

Normally, I am a few minutes late for lunch.  But I got there on time - even though I took a little extra time to wear tights under a dress, instead of a tunic and leggings.  (The process of putting on stockings is a small price I pay to look more feminine.) As usual, we chose to eat at one of the places in Croton, this time, the local Japanese restaurant - Samurai.  As much as I enjoy Sushi, I decided to order the lunch special which included Teriyaki Chicken, Miso Soup, Salad, White Rice, and a California Roll, while SJM ordered her usual meal.

As usual, conversation flowed like water, and she told me the story of having only one good car in a three car household.  Given that one of the cars is being held hostage, I offered to give her a ride when she has to put her one good car into the shop for service.  But I digress.  She looked much more at ease today, now that a lot of business issues are behind her.  Having many of the stressors removed from her life has made her feel good inside - and it shows on her face.

All too soon, we had to part.  But we made another date for next month - "Same Bat Time and Same Bat Channel."  And then, I went home to rest....

Talking with a rare set of parents

 

I'm not going to say how I know this pair of parents.  But they have a trans child, and love that child unconditionally.  If I were to live my life over, I'd love to have parents like this couple.  (No, I'm not complaining about my parents.  But I'm not sure of how they would feel if I came out to them before I hit puberty.)

Chatting with this child's parents, I was pleased to find out that they were disenchanted with the parental support group that meets while their children socialize with other trans kids.  Why is this a good thing?  Well, they accept their child for who they are: Male, Female, or Bi-Gendered.  They do not ask why their child identifies differently than the gender they were assigned to at birth.  They simply focus on what's best for their child, instead of the image of what they thought their child would be as an adult.  Others in the parental support group have major difficulties in this area, as they are dealing with their grief of not having a child growing up in the way originally expected.

What father doesn't want to see his son grow up to be just like him (in good ways)?  What mother doesn't want her daughter to grow up just like her (in good ways)?  It's hard on many parents to find out that their child is transgender.  There is no roadmap for this.  Parents have to "wing it" and find their way on their own, as many friends and family will insist that "this is only a phase the child is going through" or "this can be fixed with the right instruction."  But it's not.  Most transgender children know that there is something different about them from an early age.

In our conversation, I noted that I could never talk to my parents about being trans, nor can I talk to my brother about this today.  Most of my friends know I am trans, but some of my long time friends (who I haven't seen in years) would go nuts if they found out about this part of me.  So I have to be very careful, unless I want to burn bridges that I don't yet want to burn.  Thankfully, this trans child will likely not have this problem going through life, thanks to the their parents.

As I said earlier - their child is lucky to have these people as parents, and I am very glad that I know them.

Two meals out, and I feel bloated!

 

Lately, I haven't had much energy to do much of anything.  But when it comes to meeting people, I find the energy, as being with friendly folk is very important to me.  Today was a day where I might have overdone things a little....

- - - - - -

Last night, I received a text from my friend SJM asking if I could change out lunch from Friday to today.  And I said, "Yes," as I had nothing else planned for the daytime.  But I did have a meetup scheduled for the evening, and I wasn't too sure if I wanted to go.  So, I set my alarms to wake me up, and I got to the restaurant before her.

SJM and I discussed many things, my travels being one of them.  And then she discussed the details of her life, with some good news - her husband's gradual recovery from a health ailment AND a therapy program that he wants to go to.  He is finally optimistic about his life, and she will move heaven and earth to give him the chance to again live a normal life.

All too soon, lunch had to end, and I drove up to the Poughkeepsie Lane Bryant to see the costume jewelry they had in the store.  Unfortunately, nothing interested me.  So I drove home, with a quick stop at Walmart.  Arriving at home, I took a quick nap.  Then I realized that I'd be running late for the evening meetup at The Melting Pot in White Plains.  I texted the organizer to say I was going to be late, and got in the car.

30 minutes later, I was in White Plains, and in the restaurant before 7:00.  I didn't hold up dinner.  We sat down at the table and chose a pair of fondue dips for our veggies, and then had a good conversation while waiting for our food to arrive.  Not having fondue before, I was game to try it.  But it is not something I'll go out of the way for again.  I prefer to go to the meetup for human company, and not for novel food.

Just before 9:00, we left the place, and I drove home.  It was a nice day out as Marian, and something I haven't been doing enough of lately.

A conversation with a friend.

 

The other day, I had a conversation with my friend Vicki.  She's been a good friend for several decades now, and I've learned to deal with her style of communication.  But there was something in this most recent conversation that got brought my attention to something not being said.

But first....

Vicki and I have been trying to have a chat for a while.  Either she's been too busy at work, or I've been too busy in my own life.  So, it was nice to be able to catch up with her on the phone after dinner the other day. (Normally, we'd have already scheduled a dinner, but she has a cough that isn't going away soon.  So, a phone call had to do.)  I don't know how to describe Vicki's style other than to say that she is a dominant person who forgets that sometimes, she has to listen to others more and not try to solve problems that are not ready to be solved.  And this is what got to me a little in our chat.

We started out with Vicki talking about her cough, and how little could be done about it.  She didn't have Covid-19, or any other of the ailments that could explain the cough.  Instead, the docs told her that the bug she has is viral, and she'll have to wait until it's gone.  Then, we talked about Vicki's retirement planning - when she'll retire, where she will relocate (for tax purposes), and how she will divest herself of a New York presence to qualify as a resident of another state.  (Any more details, and I'll go into things that should be kept private.)  Like most people, she will have a lot on her plate to take care of when she transitions from a working person to a retired person. But I digress....

Our conversation shifted to my long term plans with RQS, And that's where the part of Vicki's personality that I don't like came out.  Neither RQS nor myself has been able to figure out how we'd merge our households, nor have we figured out where we'd live.  We both feel that we need to rid ourselves of a lot of the clutter in our apartments before we even try to figure out how to combine households.  Once I mentioned that we're with each other 3 or 4 days out of 7, she started to try to solve the problems RQS and I would need to deal with in a few years - and this was off putting.  These problems are a few years in front of us yet, and I had to remind Vicki that we're living in the present, and not dwelling in the future or the past.  We'll deal with these issues closer to the time they come up, as we're busy with issues of the present.  Eventually, Vicki got the hint and apologized - she sensed what she was doing, and noted that it is a problem that she has....

The rest of our chat went well, and ended a few minutes later when her coughing got the better of her.  Hopefully, the cough will go away soon, so that we can finally get together for dinner again.

Seeing TCL for Dinner

 

If I had had my choice today, I would have gussied myself up before seeing TCL for dinner.  But today was the second drab day of the weekend, and I felt that TCL would be happier if I met her as Mario.

- - - - - -

Like yesterday, I didn't do much until I had to get moving.  But I did get to TCL's place on time for a change.  And this was for the best, as the restaurant we went to was empty when we got there, but packed when we left.  

TCL lives in a nice little town in New Jersey, her house being less than 1,000 feet away from the local railroad station.  If the railroad wasn't there, we could have walked to the restaurant.  Instead, we had to drive 1/2 mile to reach the place.  (This is not a problem for us.)   On the way there, she mentioned the purchase of an undergarment to be worn in case she might get "lucky".  (This is something you'd say to a good friend, and she made sure I knew that it was for a "someone else" if he came along.)  I already knew that she had no intentions towards me, and I let her know that, so she could feel more comfortable after saying that.

A minute later, I parked the car at the restaurant. As expected, the place was empty, and we were seated at a nice table, where we proceeded to have a nice Italian meal with some red wine. (The place is BYOB, so TCL has taken care of the wine when we go to this restaurant.)  By the time we left, the place was packed with at least a dozen people waiting by the door. And then, it was the short drive home. 

We chatted in the car for about 45 minutes, and then she had to go in and I had to go home.  I was amazed that she didn't make a comment on my newly pierced ears.  But then, she was focused on something else - how to tell someone something without making that person feel awkward.  I gave her some ideas on how to approach discussing the topic with her friend, and hope she refines them into something she finds she can use for herself.