A long drive to see someone who has a short time left to him.

 

What else can I start the day with but a mention of a long drive?  My cousin has terminal cancer, and I wanted to see him in the hospice while he's still alert and able to appreciate the visit.  (I wish I could have done this for my uncle in California, but he died before I had the chance to do so.  This is why I'm spending a day on the road, which I'd rather spend packing for my upcoming trip.)

- - - - - -

This would be a day I had to spend as Mario.  So I took my ID and money out of my female wallet and transferred it to my male wallet.  When one lives in two genders, one has to always be aware of the gender in which one is presenting and who one is meeting during the day.  It can be a major scheduling effort some days, but one well worth the effort when one is forced to live this way, female to close friends, family and many acquaintances, while male to others.  Otherwise, one can easily be outed when one is not ready to do so.

Around noon, I set out for New Jersey.  Although I hit some traffic, I was able to reach my cousin's nursing home/hospice around 2:00 pm.  (The minute one sees the land the church owns here, one can make a justification to eliminate the income tax exemption given to religious entities.  But I digress....) I drove into the complex, and about 1/4 mile into it was the nursing home/hospice which my cousin was admitted into yesterday.  They had no official receptionist by the door, so I had to rap a few times before I was let in.  And then the nurse showed me the way to where my cousin was sitting.

When I first saw my cousin, he looked like he was at death's door, and it got slammed on him a few times.  His arms were black and blue (likely from the times they had to put a needle in his veins, or from the blood thinners he likely takes - I should ask my niece about this one day) and he could barely talk.  We made conversation for a few minutes before my other cousin arrived.  I talked a little bit more, but saw that my cousin was very tired - and it was time for us to depart.

On my way home, I called Vicki to find out that I had double booked events for tomorrow.  To make room to bring Vicki to the hospital and back for a day surgery, I had to postpone lunch with my friend from the census.  From having a lunch and dinner get together with separate friends, I was now taking care of Vicki - something I was more in the mood for anyway.

When I arrived home, it was time to fold laundry.  I have underwear and socks to last me for the cruise.  Now, all I have to do is fill up my suitcases....

It'll be nice to get back into a dress tomorrow.

Bye Bye to RQS and Hello to "Tall Vicki". (A short post.)

 

This past weekend RQS came up to Croton, and we had a relaxed time together.  But like all good things, the weekend had to end, and RQS had to return home.  As much as I am always a little sad when she leaves, it also is the opening for me to have some "Me Time" which I can use to recharge my emotional batteries and be ready for us getting together later in the week.

Around 3:00 pm, I drove to Croton-Harmon and kissed RQS goodbye for a few days.  Hopefully, she got home before the rain started.  This gave me some time to take care of some things, such as filling up the gas tank in my car and mending an article of clothing.  I figured that I could kill a couple of hours before getting dressed again and going out to have dinner with Vicki #1.

The skies opened up around 5:00 pm, with loud thunder passing through the area.  As soon as it came, it was gone. And I proceeded to the Sushi joint in town to meet Vicki. Vicki suggested a change of pace in our meal, where both of us would share a house special seafood soup for 2, a noodle dish with shrimp, and a mild maki roll.  I'd order the first 2 dishes, but go with a simpler roll with more flavor the next time we eat there. It was a short dinner.  And all too soon, we went home.  

It wasn't much of a day, but a relaxing one.

A Clothes Horse on a Long Trip

I used to complain to my late wife about her being a clothes horse. Now, I find myself as much of a clothes horse as she was.  Unlike my late wife, I have the assets to refresh my wardrobe much more often than she did, and can afford to do so.

- - - - - -

Yesterday, Vicki and I drove upstate to Flax's annual barn sale. This means that I would need to be awake 4 hours earlier than normal for a weekend day and ready by 9:00 am, so that we'd be at the barn sale by 1:00 pm.  Both Vicki and I were on time for this long drive.

Given that I do not have a typical female body, I knew that I had to wear a garment to the sale which would allow me to try on clothing, but not strip down far enough to advertise this face.  So, I chose to wear a unitard under an airy duster.  But this made it awkward for me to take bio breaks.  To deal with this, I decided to carry a change of clothes I could wear after leaving the sale.

Neither of us had breakfast before the drive, so we stopped at a deli on the outskirts of Cold Spring for a bite to eat.  This is not something unusual for me when out for a long drive.  And we needed this stop, as we were feeling hungry again several hours later when we were nearing Flax's sale.  At least, there was an open rest area along the way where we could both take a bio break and pick up some nuts to sate our hunger until we were done with Flax.

Arriving at Flax, we saw a small factory with a large parking area.  On part of the parking lot was a tent 300' x 100' where pallets of clothing were available to be picked through in boxes 3' x 3' x 3' organized only by size.  If one wanted anything, one would have to sort through the contents of each box in one's size and hope that there was something interesting in the box.  At the entrance, we were greeted by several friendly people, and as usual, Vicki chatted them up a little before going into the tent where Flax's garments were for sale.  Once inside the tent, it was calm, but organized chaos - women were dressed in clothing which allowed them to try on other clothes without having to strip.  I was not out of place.

Flax's staff was both friendly and helpful.  One of the ladies I met mentioned that her mother worked there, and that she didn't know how good a value these sales were.  Another lady offered to help me find some dresses in these boxes, and found 4 which I ended up buying.  Vicki also got help and found several garments she could wear in her new size. (She has lost 1/3 of her weight on her diet, and I am still not used to seeing her this thin.)  By the time we paid for our merchandise and left the tent, it was close to 2:00 pm, and both of us were ready for something to eat.

Now, this is where a tickle of frustration came to me....

Vicki knows that I have traveled upstate often enough in my life to have a mental roadmap of how to get home from the NYS Thruway.  Yet, she punches in her home as a destination before driving home.  This is not a bad thing when we are driving from the middle of nowhere.  But it is a bad thing when she is driving me home.  I said that I know a nice Japanese restaurant in the Albany area that we could try.  Arriving at the restaurant around 5:00 pm, we settle down and have our first real meal for the day.  Both of us chose "bento box" dinners - and they were yummy!  I'd certainly go back to this place if I were in the Albany area again.

Leaving the restaurant, Vicki again chose to use the GPS for directions home instead of listening to me.  I drove the same route home often when I hung out with a Polyanorous group in the Albany area.  So I should know the best way home.  Instead, she chose to follow the machine's directions and take the long way home - but not on the thruway.  (Remember, she punched the code for directions to her home, not mine.)  An example of the GPS giving bad directions was in the Albany area, where it told her to take one exit, then make a U-Turn to get back on the same road.  It didn't know how to tell her how to deal with several successive forks in the road.  Yet, we still made decent time, switching away from heading downstate on the Taconic Parkway to using US 9 to reach my house.  Even though we hit some traffic in the Poughkeepsie area, we made good time. Yet, I could tell that she was getting tired because of her decision to trust the GPS (and spend more time in her drive) than directions I could have give.

It was a 4 hour drive up to the sale, and a 5+ hour return from the sale (exclusive of dinner).  Would I do it again?  Maybe.  But I know to insist that Vicki ignore the GPS when I have a better idea of how to get to a destination than it has....

 

You should see the mess on my desk - a short post

 

My computer desk is a dumping ground for everything that I haven't found the time or made the effort to put in a good and proper place.  So, when I look for things, they are often buried under lots of other stuff.

Tonight, I started looking for a favorite necklace.  Of course, I haven't been able to find it.  Since Vicki and I are going up to the Flax Barn Sale in the morning, I wanted to be wearing one nice piece of costume jewelry to help me feel a little more feminine.

Vicki will be arriving when I usually have become semi-conscious, shouting at Alexa to shut up!  Instead, I will need to get up 3 hours earlier than usual, get dressed in a unitard and duster (I want to be able to try on clothes in a place with no changing rooms) and be ready for a long day where much of the time will be on the road. I figure that we'll be taking Vicki's car to the Flax Barn sale, and will likely need to stop along the way.  Unfortunately, many of the NYS Thruway's rest areas care closed for renovations.  This means we may need to take an alternate route, so that we have adequate opportunity to take bio-breaks.

Once we're done with the barn sale, Vicki wants to try out a restaurant she knows up there.  I'm game for that.  But it will be a long day, and I will be exhausted when I get home.  At least, I won't have to drive to get to my brother's place for my uncle's memorial service the next day....

HVRW Restaurant Week - Le Provincal w. Vicki

 

Hudson Valley Restaurant week (HVRW).  It comes twice each year, and I try to have at least one fancy dinner with Vicki each time it comes by.

- - - - - -

As you would expect, I usually present myself as Marian when dining with Vicki.  During HVRW, I always try to dress up a little when going to nice restaurants, and I made sure that I was wearing a nice dress with stockings (actually, tights) when she picked me up.  (I rarely present as a male when with Vicki.) Tonight's dinner was at Le Provincal, a French bistro in Mamaroneck. This is one of our go-to places for French food, but one we rarely eat at because of its normal price.  HVRW makes this place affordable to us, as we would likely spend close to $200 for a meal for two.

Vicki drives differently than I do, and this is not a criticism or compliment.  Like me, she tries to drive safely, but I noticed the differences in driving style, as I was a passenger for this trip.  Arriving in Mamaroneck, Vicki moved close to the center of the street so she could slide into a parking spot both quickly and easily.  However, some woman (Vicki used another word) decided to slide in between her and the cars to her right, stealing the spot from Vicki.  I looked at the driver, and I noticed that she was likely an immigrant from a place where cutting into lines was accepted, and that there would be no gain from arguing with a person who is that inconsiderate.  Vicki wanted to block this woman from getting to the parking spot, and I wanted to get another packing spot which would likely open up near the restaurant.  Eventually, Vicki relented, and we got a spot much closer to the restaurant than the first spot was.

Dinner was excellent (as usual), but the wait staff we expected to see was off for the night.  The dinner more than made up for the loss of the parking spot.  Sadly, dinner was over too soon, and we took the long way home to chat.  (It helped that Vicki missed my exit, and took side roads back to my place.)  All in all, this was a pleasant evening.  But next time, I'll do the driving.

 

The new car is finally mine!

 

Today, I felt like the day had more than 24 hours.  Not only did the night before allowed me just 4-5 hours of sleep.  But I felt like I needed to go back to bed for most of the day.

- - - - - -

The day started by me waking up early, and trying to go back to sleep without luck.  Given that I had a doctor's appointment at 10 am, I knew that it was going to be a long day for me.  So, I got showered and dressed as Mario, and off to town to see the doctor.  When I arrived, I found the place unusually empty, as if the doctor had come to the office for only a handful of patients.  

Lately, the doctor has had quite a few student interns from various medical programs assist him in his office.  Today, he had a new person, a young woman training to become a nurse practitioner.  And she introduced a different routine for the day, asking me a lot of questions that she could answer from looking at the doctor's records.  (She has to learn how to ask questions, as well as what questions to ask.  So I am not complaining.)  Then, the doctor came in, and asked his questions - and looked to put me on a new drug.  AARGH!  At least, I have renewed the supply of my old drugs, so the new prescription will have to wait.

Once done with the doctor, I returned home and prepared to remove the license plates from the old car, so that they could be placed on the new car.  Only one problem - I couldn't unscrew the fasteners holding the plates to the car, and I was in luck - my co-op's superintendent had just pulled into a vacant spot, and he was able to remove the plates with a little bit of effort.

- - - - - -

My next stop for the day was the car dealership.  Vicki came by around 1:30 pm, and off we went to complete the deal on the new car.  When I arrived, the salesman made sure to take a lot of pictures of me in front of my new car, and then started the process of showing me around the dealership before depositing me with the sales manager who sold me a couple of add-ons.  $1750 later, I was out the door, and the salesman showed me around the car, so that I could get the car home safely.  By then, Vicki was leaving, so I had the salesman to himself.  (Vicki noted that the fellow who sold her the car she was driving didn't take the time to make sure she knew the features on her car.  It's no wonder that he's now working at a used car dealership....)

When done with the salesman, I drove home to rest for a while.  And then, I got into a conversation with one of my neighbors.  It could lasted quite a bit longer, save for the fact that I looked at my watch and saw that I had to open the co-op's zoom meeting in 20 minutes.  So I rushed inside, and took care of co-op business for the next 2 hours.

- - - - - -

After the meeting ended, I was feeling exhausted.  But I figured that I'd make a run to BJ's as an excuse to see how well the car's automatic lights worked.  (There are a few things I have to be aware of with this setting, but I'll get used to it in time.)  What really gets to me is that I have to learn a whole new way to deal with the car's infotainment system and with its driver safety systems.  And this will also take some time.  (I just have to remember to turn the collision avoidance system off before going into a car wash, as the brakes will mistakenly hold the car in place to protect the car and what's in front of it....)

I think it's going to take a while to learn the ins and outs about the car, and I'd better be careful while doing so.

I couldn't sleep, and I had a long day ahead of me

 

The above caricature seems fitting for today, as I had to go in for my colonoscopy today and then be awake enough to deal with a co-op board meeting.  Of course, I didn't get much sleep last night, so staying awake until I'm back home would be the most important thing on my mind.

- - - - - -

Around 6:00, I drank the last of the ghastly fluid, and I spent the next 2 hours treating myself like royalty - if you get what I mean.  And then I had the last liquid of the morning, as I wasn't allowed to have any fluids within 2 hours of my procedure.  Shortly afterward, I got myself ready to go to the hospital, and Vicki was waiting for me as scheduled.  She noted that it was a little bit of a surprise to see me as Mario today.  But then, she knows me in both modes, and part of her didn't realize that I'd have to present as Mario today.

Normally, I'd budget about 30 minutes to reach the hospital.  That's about how long it took, in spite of a few slow moving trucks that got in the way.  But we were there early, and that worked to our advantage, as I still had more paperwork to take care of when we got to the hospital.  And then it was upstairs to the floor where my procedure was to be performed.

Of course, my doctor was running late with other patients, and our expected procedure time was being delayed 30 minutes. Getting into my hospital gown, I realized that I'd be handing Vicki two of my most valuable things: my cellphone and wallet.  So I made sure to hand her these things before I packed my clothes into a small bag that would follow me into the procedure room and then to the recovery room.  At this point, I was "in for a penny, and in for a pound."  Any ambivalence I might have had became meaningless, as I was committed for the next 2-3 hours.

By the time the doctor was able to get around to me, he was an hour behind schedule.  Vicki noted that the doc looked like a famous singer - and I agreed with her.  Soon, I was whisked away to the procedure room, and was unconscious a few minutes later.  When I regained consciousness, I wasn't groggy, but I knew I was off.  Having Vicki with me gave me the confidence that nothing would be missed when the doc came to tell me what he found - nothing to worry about, but tissues were being sent to the lab just to be safe. Soon, I was dressed and ready to go.  Vicki and I went to the local diner where we both ate more than we should have.  The food was good, and well worth the extra calories.  And then I was dropped off at my apartment, where I'd spend the rest of the day.

- - - - - -

Once home, I took a nap, and woke up just in time to start the co-op zoom meeting.  It was a struggle to stay awake, as I was still recovering from both a lack of sleep and being anesthetized,  But I made it through the meeting, and was ready to go back to sleep once I finished my dinner....

????????

I didn't know what to write about when I started this entry.  Do I write about what went on in my life this weekend?  Do I write some commentary about what is going on in the world? Or, do I choose a topic at random and pontificate on it?  After a full day of thought, I had few ideas, so here goes....

1. I recently received a call from an old friend.  Although we both had said that if we reached the age of 60 without a partner, that we'd consider having a relationship.  As readers of this blog know, I am very happy with RQS as a partner, as we are alike in so many ways.  And I consider myself lucky that we didn't get together, as she is a train wreck of a person.

This friend knows I am transgender, and talked about a conspiracy to take children who question their sexual identity and treat them as either trans or gay/lesbian.  Although there may be some people who have this as an agenda, most trans people (and most schools) would never consider doing this.  At most, we'd want to have the child see a qualified psychotherapist for evaluation before anything else is done.

Our conversation morphed into talking about "Welfare Cheats", as if there was a moral problem with most of the people collecting social benefits.  She then started to think with her feelings and not her mind when she said that we should put unskilled people to work babysitting working folks' kids.  I countered with a single question: Would she want someone who us unvetted, unskilled, and otherwise unsuited to babysit children to be responsible for her child's welfare in any way?  The last thing I'd want to see is a person prone to violence in charge of my child.  Yes, people who have this philosophy will often backtrack and make exceptions for the flaws in their plans.  But in the end, they do not have well thought out positions.

2. RQS and I were looking for a place to have a fancy dinner on Christmas day.  It's amazing how few fine dining places are open on Christmas vs. Thanksgiving.  So I joked with my friend Vicki that RQS and I will become honorary Jews for Xmas and eat Chinese!  Vicki chuckled.....   She knew why Jews tend to go to Chinese places on Xmas - "Safe Treyf!"  (i.e. Non kosher food that is tasty, that doesn't look like the forbidden food it is.)

3. This morning, I received a call from UPS to ask me about a claim I filed regarding an item they claimed was delivered, but did not show up at my door until the following day.  As I was getting home (and prepared to make a return phone call to UPS), I met the UPS delivery guy in the hallway.  We chatted for a minute, and I explained what happened.  He confirmed my suspicion that UPS often uses USPS for last mile service (claiming the item has been delivered to my door when it wasn't) and that holiday season extra hires often do not know the routes and deliver goods to the wrong addresses. I was willing to confirm what happened on paper, and he said that I did the right thing.

4. I'm still trying to think of what to get RQS for a surprise Xmas gift.  She already knows the "big" item she is getting.  But I want to surprise her with something else.  (Any ideas?)

5. Now that my ears are pierced, I'm finding that I want to buy coordinated sets of earrings and necklaces w. pendant.  However, I'm finding that I end up doubling much of the expense, as I need to buy a longer chain for the pendant, so that it hits at the right place on my neck.

6. Every time I think of my upcoming cruise, I find that I missed something I should be packing. Today, I figured that I should pack a swimsuit, as I'll be in the Bahamas, and might want to take a dip in the hot tub. Will I end up doing this?  I'm not sure, as I don't want to wear my new falsies into the hot tub.  But I don't want to bring my older, ill fitting pool-safe falsies to stuff in my swimsuit's cups.

I could go on and on with my thoughts.  But I figure that my readers might be interested in the random thoughts going through my head these days.

 

 

I'll have returned from my cruise when you read this.

Although I wish I could go on a Hawaii cruise again this year, it is not to be.  The prices are right, and I could have booked airfare at a reasonable price.  (Un)fortunately, RQS and had  booked a Bermuda cruise for this time of year, and I had booked another cruise for two weeks after that.

As I write this, I am about to take a Bermuda cruise with RQS, and have started preparing for our trip.  Unlike previous cruises, we are going to the cruise terminal from my place, and we both think it will be an easier trip than taking an Uber from the middle of Queens.  This will be our first time in Bermuda, and I am looking forward to the experience.  Sadly, I will be traveling as Mario, and not my authentic self.

- - - - - -

Last night, I exchanged a set of messages with someone I've known for years, but am no longer close to.  We caught up with what was going on with our families, and chatted about what our plans were for Thanksgiving.  (I'll be eating my holiday meal on the ship, while she will be with family.)  What was of interest was that FCP was also in contact with her lately.  Rather than say too much, I noted what FCP had to say to me a few weeks ago, and that I didn't encourage or discourage future communication.

Later in the evening, I discussed this with RQS, and noted that I had a similar conversation with Vicki the night before.  Vicki has stronger feelings than I do about what happened several years ago, and feels that I have grown in ways I never could have grown had these people stayed an active part of my life. And in this regard I agree with her.

- - - - - -

When I cruise alone, I usually get a chance to reset what is going on in my mind and relax.  When I cruise with someone else, this process is broken.  I still relax, but my thoughts are not reset.  Yet, I am comfortable with this.  Having someone to share an experience with is important. And I'm glad that RQS will be with me on the cruise this time....

Dinner with Vicki - Alone

 

Tonight was the second night of the Hudson Valley Restaurant week dinner promotion, where a group of restaurants would serve fixed price dinners to show off what these restaurants can do (and get future customers as a result).  This time, the HVRW choice did not disappoint us, and I made a joke about it to one of the bus boys.  

But first....

It took the better part of an afternoon, but they finally figured out why my TPMS idiot light kept turning on.  To put it short, after resetting the car's diagnostic history, everything worked well, and the light hasn't come on since.  However, this got in the way of me getting my nails done for dinner tonight with Vicki, as I had to stay in male presentation for the better part of the day.  

Around 5 pm, I changed into a blue striped dress on which that Vicki later would pay me a compliment. Once ready for dinner, I drove over to Vicki's, and a few minutes later, we were at the Char steakhouse in Mahopac, NY.  (I knew the area well from my many trips to see FCP.  But I digress.)  It took us a while to find a parking spot, but we got lucky - the lot was overflowing when we arrived, and I snagged a spot as someone was coming out.  Since it was only a short walk to the front door, I could have left my wool coat in the car, but I decided to bring it inside with me.

I will start off by mentioning the one bad thing I could think about in regard to this restaurant. Instead of entering directly into the restaurant area where a host(ess) would greet us, then have someone show us to our table, we had to walk through the bar area, and then across part of the dining area to meet our hostess. (I don't think this is a normal setup for the restaurant, as I think they wanted to gain an extra few tables for use during HVRW.)  Once we checked in with the hostess, we were promptly seated and served both bread and water.  (Our menus also came at that time.)  A minute or two later, we placed our drink order, and took a few minutes to decide on what to have for dinner.  Vicki noticed a nice thing - within 60 seconds of my water glass being emptied, it was refilled without me having to ask for anything. Our waiter was very pleasant, and he treated me like the lady I was presenting myself as tonight. Service was efficient, friendly, polite, and professional.  Unlike our last HVRW, everything was top notch.  So, on our way out, Vicki took the time to pay a compliment to the waiter, letting him know that we appreciated his good service.

What can I say about the food?  The salads we had were delicious, as well as the strip steaks we ate (at a $6 up charge).  Although the cheesecake served was smaller than the average slice, its quality was up there with the steaks we just finished.  Would I go back there again?  Yes.  .But it will be when I have the money to spend on a good steak dinner.

On the way home, Vicki and talked of many things.  XGFJ came to mind, then FCP.  No, I won't go into the details of that part of the conversation here.  Let's just say that Vicki said that I've grown a lot in the past 4 years, and that RQS and I just happened to be in the right place at the right time for each other. In regard to RQS, Vicki mentioned that she has the best of both worlds in me, as she has Mario as a boyfriend, and Marian as a great gal pal. 

I went to the hospital today and came out with an appointment

 

I had some GI Tract issues a fewweeks ago, and I had to visit the hospital for a triage appointment to determine how soon I could schedule a procedure.  Today was that appointment.

My alarms were set to wake me up at 8 am, so that I could get myself ready to go to the hospital for a 10:30 am appointment.  (I was supposed to be there at least 15 minutes early to fill out paperwork.)  When I started filling out paperwork, I noticed something I haven't seen before - not only were they showing respect to the LGBTIQ community by asking both legal and preferred names, but doing the same for biological and identified gender related questions.  Although I went to my appointment as Mario, I could have gone as Marian without any problems.  This was a very pleasant surprise.  If I didn't have another appointment later in the day which required Mario's presence, I might have wished that I knew about this policy in advance, so that I could have presented myself as I want to be seen.

15-20 minutes after I arrived, I met with the nurse practitioner who would be examining me.  I talked about my symptoms, and she told me what likely happened.  Instead of repeating a procedure done in my doctor's office, she took my description of what was done as truth, and then told me that I was about 5 years overdue for the procedure,  So it was off to the front desk to schedule my procedure, then go on my merry way.

As I left the hospital, I made 2 calls: to Vicki, so that I have transportation to/from the hospital on the day of the procedure, and to RQS, so she knew what was going on.  I guess that I'm going to be living a busy life for a while....

We had high expectations of a restaurant, and they failed us.

 

Hudson Valley Restaurant Week came, and we decided to have an elegant dinner at Restaurant Six.  Years ago, Vicki was married here (in the restaurant's prior incarnation), and it would be our first time back in its new incarnation.  Sadly, we were less than underwhelmed by the experience, and I found that I had to write a complaint letter before I could get to sleep.

But first....

As usual, RQS and I relaxed throughout the day until the bug took us, and we started to clean up my closet, making room for homeless accessories I own.  Several pairs of shoes found their way to a donation bag, and I gained a better organized closet.  And then we started to get ready for dinner.  

Around 5:15 pm, we left my apartment and drove to Vicki's house.  She was surprised that I was there on time (I am usually a few minutes late), and we were off to the restaurant.  I had allocated much more time than needed to reach the restaurant, as I planned to avoid taking the Taconic parkway (the most direct way) to the restaurant for safety purposes.  (I don't like driving on the stretch of road in Putnam county, as people drive at high speed on a road that has no shoulders, and has steep inclines on a curving roadbed.)  However, I decided to drive this road, as the sun was still out, and we arrived at the restaurant about an hour early.  So, we killed time by driving around for 30 minutes, and went back to the restaurant hoping to be seated early - which we were.

Instead of  repeating what I said in my complaint letter, I have to say that I wished we went somewhere else to eat, and Vicki could see that by how my conversation style differed from my usual style.  Eventually, we left the place, and I drove home on the side roads I planned to take on the way up to the restaurant.  We dropped Vicki off, and then returned home.  And that's when I decided to write my complaint letter.

Hopefully, they will fix things after reading this email.....

To the management of Restaurant Six:

This weekend, my group had the experience of dining at your establishment.  We had high expectations of your restaurant based on its reputation. Arriving early, we were seated quickly without having to wait. Although we were impressed with the ambiance and the quality of the food, we were very disappointed for the following reasons:

1. Service was very slow.
2. No napkins were on the table.  None of your staff noticed this even after bread and water were delivered to the table, and we had to ask for napkins .
3. The time lapse between the serving of the appetizers and the delivery of our main courses was over 40 minutes.  After we finished our appetizers, no one cleaned up the dirty dishes on our table until one of our party asked about what happened to our main courses - and only then were the dirty dishes taken away.  Shortly after the table was cleaned, the main courses magically appeared.
4. There was a noticeable lull in service compared to what was being received by other tables in the room.  
5. At one point during the meal, we had an interaction with one of the wait staff, and he commented: "This is my first and last day working at this place."
6. When my dessert was delivered to the table, it was not delivered with the spoon needed to consume it.  I had to ask for this.
7. No one asked whether we would want coffee or tea at the end of the meal.
8. The service was inconsistent at best.  At the beginning, the wait staff engaged readily in conversation, describing the dishes with enthusiasm.  Then, they disappeared and dropped the ball. After we asked about our main course, and it was delivered, no one bothered to apologize for the delay.

As much as I would love to come back because of the ambiance and the food, I am soured on the idea of returning due to the spotty service your staff provided.  My dining partners share the same opinion, and were very disappointed because there are many fine dining establishments in the Hudson Valley, and we expected to add this place to our list.

Another Mystery Box Opportunity (and it may be the last....)

 

Do I believe that this will be the last Mystery Box sale by Universal Standard?  Maybe.  But I'm not as happy with what I've seen at Universal lately, and I'm not sure if I'm going to drop some coin on this sale. Both RQS and I have been disappointed by what we've seen in their sample sales, and I ended up buying something I could use - but not in a color scheme that I wanted.

I am not completely immune from temptation.  Vicki gave me information on one of her favorite clothing outlets having a tent sale this weekend.  Only one problem - I would have had to drive 3.5 hours to get there this weekend.  If RQS and I were going to Howe Caverns, I'd have made this a side trip.  But, without the caverns on our weekend calendar, it doesn't make sense to drive 200 miles to save a few dollars on a brand I have never worn before.

If Universal puts out more mystery boxes that capture my interest in this "final" sale, I may end up adding more dresses to my wardrobe.  But it is more likely I will not do so.

I had two reasons to get up, and I was glad I did

 

Strangely enough, I didn't need my alarm to wake up today.  Instead, I fell out quickly after a short bio-break, and still got moving early enough to do things during the day.  On my list was doing 2 loads of laundry, and then going out to dinner with Vicki.

Although this was going to be a Marian Mode evening, I presented as Mario when I went downstairs to do the laundry.  Two loads, and just in time.  RQS comes up tomorrow for a long weekend, and I want to make sure that she has clean sheets to put on the bed when she's here.  (It's a lot nicer for her with clean sheets, and I wait for her to arrive to put fresh ones on the bed.)  If I'm lucky, I'll find the time to fold everything before she gets here, but....

Around 6:00, I arrive at Vicki's place and we then go to Lefteris for dinner.  Vicki has lost the weight she wanted, and now should qualify for the procedure she wanted to have done several months ago.  Both of us consider Lefteris our go-to restaurant for Greek food, and both of us felt sated at the end of the meal.

As you can see, as long as I have something that motivates me to get up, I will do so.  Today was a good day for me, and I'll be looking forward to a long weekend with RQS.

Dinner with Vicki

 

Tomorrow, the handyman will come to repair the tile wall in the bathroom.  I dread this necessary headache, as it will soon be followed by electrical work that requires virtually all my furniture be moved for outlet replacement.  ARRGH!

With this looming ahead of me, I was glad to meet Vicki for dinner before she goes on her vacation.  Vicki is trying to get her health in order, so that she can have a needed medical procedure.  (And no, I won't go into any more details here.)  So, I know that getting together with me is a special occasion for her.  Over dinner, we talked about many things, and she made a comment that echoes with other people I know - they see me as the same person, no matter which gender I am presenting as at the moment.

I think that a key to understanding a transgender person is seeing that his/her soul is the same person, no matter how the person chooses to appear to the world.  Yes, there will be women who get upset at the M2F transgender person for invading "women's space". And I can understand that.  Many M2F transgender people want to carry their former male privilege into their female lives, and this can not be done and be accepted by females as equals.  Yet, I feel that the cisgender world should "get over it."  To me, being transgender is a form of intersex condition, where the brain is wired to be of one gender, but the body is programmed in utero to be the other.

The transwoman I mentioned in an earlier post has reverted to life as a cisgender, heterosexual man. And he seems to have found a new potential woman in his life.  I wish the best for them, as life for a person my age can be a struggle without the issues of being trans to complicate things.  At least, he'll be able to live a less complex life - for now.  As for me, I'll deal with my complexities as long as possible, as I have no intentions of eradicating what I've gained by being Marian from my life.

A conversation with a friend.

 

The other day, I had a conversation with my friend Vicki.  She's been a good friend for several decades now, and I've learned to deal with her style of communication.  But there was something in this most recent conversation that got brought my attention to something not being said.

But first....

Vicki and I have been trying to have a chat for a while.  Either she's been too busy at work, or I've been too busy in my own life.  So, it was nice to be able to catch up with her on the phone after dinner the other day. (Normally, we'd have already scheduled a dinner, but she has a cough that isn't going away soon.  So, a phone call had to do.)  I don't know how to describe Vicki's style other than to say that she is a dominant person who forgets that sometimes, she has to listen to others more and not try to solve problems that are not ready to be solved.  And this is what got to me a little in our chat.

We started out with Vicki talking about her cough, and how little could be done about it.  She didn't have Covid-19, or any other of the ailments that could explain the cough.  Instead, the docs told her that the bug she has is viral, and she'll have to wait until it's gone.  Then, we talked about Vicki's retirement planning - when she'll retire, where she will relocate (for tax purposes), and how she will divest herself of a New York presence to qualify as a resident of another state.  (Any more details, and I'll go into things that should be kept private.)  Like most people, she will have a lot on her plate to take care of when she transitions from a working person to a retired person. But I digress....

Our conversation shifted to my long term plans with RQS, And that's where the part of Vicki's personality that I don't like came out.  Neither RQS nor myself has been able to figure out how we'd merge our households, nor have we figured out where we'd live.  We both feel that we need to rid ourselves of a lot of the clutter in our apartments before we even try to figure out how to combine households.  Once I mentioned that we're with each other 3 or 4 days out of 7, she started to try to solve the problems RQS and I would need to deal with in a few years - and this was off putting.  These problems are a few years in front of us yet, and I had to remind Vicki that we're living in the present, and not dwelling in the future or the past.  We'll deal with these issues closer to the time they come up, as we're busy with issues of the present.  Eventually, Vicki got the hint and apologized - she sensed what she was doing, and noted that it is a problem that she has....

The rest of our chat went well, and ended a few minutes later when her coughing got the better of her.  Hopefully, the cough will go away soon, so that we can finally get together for dinner again.

I almost forgot my anniversary - thoughts on being widowed.

 

There are several days during the year that I make sure I have a small drink - and they are all related to significant days that I shared with my late wife.  Today would have been our 38th anniversary, and there will always be a part of me that misses her.

How would I describe my late wife?  After 27 years of being widowed, many of the little things she used to have faded into the fog of lost memories.  Yet, I can still remember her saying things such as EN-Double A-ESS-T-EYE, and letting out her inner child much more often than I could. Yes, she didn't know how to cope with things at her office, as it was a small business that didn't bother with obeying important business rules, such as having a non-smoking office.  At the end of her life, she was angry because she was the only non-smoker in the office, and the only one that suffered with cancer in that office.

I'll never be sure how much she loved me, or whether she stayed with me because she feared that she'd have no place to go if she left me. I know that her problems  with money triggered my insecurities, and frustrated me until the day she died. Yet, I find it ironic that I may have more female clothes than she did when she died - and that I gave away 12-16 bags of those clothes to a local charity when she died.  I think she would have a big laugh if she were to see me and that closet today.

The other day, I made a short mention of my late wife to Vicki #1, and she went off into a diatribe on how my wife may not have grown with me, how we might have gone into couples' therapy and failed at it, and so on.  It was not what I wanted to hear, as I wasn't in the mood to be convinced that my life is better because my wife died - I know that, and felt a little sad because it is so.  I was simply subconsciously reminded of her, and reacting to that stimulus.

Yet, I'll always wonder now and then - what would have happened if my wife had lived?  And this is where Vicki and I agree - the odds are that we would have gotten divorced, and that I would have approached new relationships with a certain lack of trust. Could this be why certain divorced women are attracted to me as a friend?  Who knows?  But I don't think I'd be able to have my relationship with RQS if I had been divorced.  I needed the assumption of goodwill that only being widowed can bring to a potential relationship.

If there is something after death, I only hope that my late wife is having a good laugh seeing how my life has progressed so far....

I just got a new dress from Universal Standard at a deep discount.

 

The above dress in yellow does nothing for the model in the picture.  But change it to blue, and the dress works very well on me.  And this is what I wore to night to have dinner with Vicki.

But first....

RQS had come up for a rare start-of-week stay, and we had a great time together.  No, we didn't do much of anything, save keep each other company for a few days.  While here, I told her of the dress I ordered from Universal Standard with a very deep discount.  I won't say how much of a discount I received, but it was enough for me to drop the hammer on buying a new dress when I wasn't planning on buying one. 

 

If I had known that this dress would be available in this color when I decided to buy the first dress, I might have chosen it instead.  I like the color, and I may still drop $148 (plus tax and shipping) to buy it if I have some extra money by the end of the month.  

Yet, I digress....

RQS thought the first dress looked good on me, and I did too.  So I wore it when dropping her off at the station to go home, and to pick Vicki up for dinner tonight - and I got compliments from Vicki as well. I think Vicki was surprised that I arrived at her house a little bit early.  This wasn't much of a problem, as we got to the restaurant relatively quickly.

Lefteris Gyro is one of our go-to places when we want Greek food.  They serve enough food there to feed an army, and I had enough food left over to be tomorrow's lunch. Although I won't say much about the conversation we had, it seems more likely that she and her husband may be spending their retirement in New York for reasons I won't go into here.  This pleases me for one reason - one of my closest friends may stay nearby in retirement, and I won't lose contact with her (as I almost did with WDS when he moved to Florida).

All too soon, I had to drop Vicki off at her house.  Hopefully, I'll be able to see her again before my next trip (and possibly introduce her to Vicki #2).

I'm glad I've had a good relationship with my neighbors so far....

 

My original plans for the day were to write about getting my nails done and having dinner with Vicki. Well, things changed, as Vicki was a little under the weather and I got up too late to do much of anything other than going to the buffet for dinner.  And yet, I have something crappy to write about.

- - - - - -

Years ago, water from my apartment caused a problem in the apartment below me.  I'm not sure of whose insurance paid for the repairs, but I know I didn't put in a claim on my insurance.  On New Year's Eve, RQS took a bath, and the water overflow caused damage to the bathroom ceiling occupied by my new neighbors.  Luckily, that problem was caused by pipes within the walls, and the co-op's insurance paid the bill.  Unfortunately, a toilet bowl overflow happened tonight, and I'm not sure of the status of the apartment below me.

When I got home from dinner, I proceeded to the loo to take care of a pressing matter.  (No need to be more graphic here.)  Well, the flush didn't get everything through the pipes, and I tried to plunge the toilet.  Unfortunately, after a second flush, waste water got all over the bathroom floor, and it took several towels to absorb all the liquid.  (You can guess I'll be the first to do laundry in the morning.) And this got me to thinking - did any of the waste water get through to the ceiling below me?  I'd hate to pay for any damages, as well as filing an insurance claim for the damages caused by the overflow.

I figure that I'll tough base with my neighbors in the morning, just to see what's up. Hopefully, they won't be too upset with me if there is a problem. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Dinner with Vicki #1 - a short post

 

The original Lefteris Gyro in Tarrytown.  This is one of my favorite go-to places when I want Greek food, and the place where I've gone with Vicki #1 most often when we want Greek food. I've had a hankering for this cuisine for a while, and it was about time to go back to sate this craving.

- - - - - -

Last night, I wasn't able to get much sleep.  So I was concerned that I would be over tired by the evening came.  There were only two things on my docket for today - fixing the problem with my lab test bill, and having dinner with Vicki #1. When my alarm rang at 8 am, I simply hit the snooze button (figuratively) and didn't get out of bed until 11 am.  Since I was still very tired, I tried a nap for a while.  But I had to be fully awake for the first item on my docket - the phone call to the lab test company to deal with a billing issue.

Around 3:45, I finally called the lab test company and waited for 45 minutes for a human to get on the line. This was the 3rd time I reached out to the firm, and I reached a friendly person.  Once I explained the situation (based on information from my prior 2 calls), the lady saw that my Medicare insurance number was recorded incorrectly.  But even worse, Medicare was not my primary health plan in their records.  Instead, the insurance company associated with my former employer was listed as my primary insurance company, with no secondary insurance company on file.  So, I got the lady to correct this problem, and list Medicare as my primary insurance provider and my Part-N provider as my secondary.

When I was done with the Lab Test company, it was time to get showered and dressed to meet Vicki. On my way out the door, my next door neighbor complimented me on the dress I was wearing.  It was nice to know that I look nice when presenting as a female.  But I had no time to chat - I had to get to Vicki's house.  By the time I reached Vicki, I was 30 minutes late, and was glad to have warned her that I was going to be at her place by 6:00.  About 15 minutes later, we were at Lefteris Gyro, ready to enjoy a nice Greek dinner.  As usual, we had a great chat over dinner, and all too soon it was time to go home for the evening.