Thinking about an old friend
WDS was born in South America, and immigrated to the US at a young age. I don't know much about his pre-college years, as we never discussed that part of his life. At the time I met him, he was playing around with experimental music. But the thing we had most in common was an interest in programming computers. He saw me as the young kid who'd sneak into computer centers to have his programs run. (I was the type who'd hack security to do what I wanted to do, but never had the wish to cause others any harm.) He was the more pragmatic one of our motley pairing. Education was to serve a purpose, and when formal education was no longer needed, he dispensed with it.
There is a several year difference in our ages, and he was the one who first found a full time job. A year later, I followed suit, and left the world of day-time studies. (I finished my undergraduate degree at night, taking 4 calendar years to finish my last year of studies.) Eventually, we ended up in the same firm - for about 2 weeks. And then, our career paths never crossed again. However, we did take advantage of the fact that we were young, had high incomes, and no responsibilities. I can still remember going into Greenwich Village for a French Dinner that cost each of us $100 - almost 40 years ago. (Could you imagine what I could have done had I been more frugal with my money?)
As with most cisgender males, women have a "nasty" habit of coming into our lives. I never was that successful in dating. But WDS was, and got married to a woman who couldn't stand my presence. So we lost contact for several years. And then, out of the blue, WDS reestablished contact after getting a divorce and our friendship was renewed. A few years later, WDS met another woman and married her. This time things were better - the two of them got along well, and his wife was able to tolerate (if not feel comfortable with) my friendship with WDS.
During this era, I got a job with the bank, and was there for 30 years. I also met my wife, and WDS was best man at our wedding. But our lives grew further and further apart - we had very different interests, and WDS had the social polish that I could never have. (His father was a successful man in South America, and made sure that he had the social skills to travel in any social circle.)
My friend was there for me when my wife took ill and when she died. And I was there for him when his wife committed suicide. Sadly, she suffered from the same type of cancer that took my late wife, and didn't want to spend the last 2 months of her life doped up and unable to have rational thought. Almost a decade later, I can still remember the basic details of that evening as if it were yesterday.
The last time I saw WDS was at a local pizzeria. He came up to meet me and Ex-GF-M. We had a nice lunch, and I always thought that I would see him again. That hasn't happened. However, about t years later, he sent me a gift - a fully loaded iPad Air 2, with LTE for when I don't have WiFi access. This must have set him back a nice penny.
In the years since then, we have communicated exclusively by email. I neither have a mailing address or phone number for him. He does work for the local "Agility" (competitive dog training) circuit where he lives, but there is little trace of him otherwise. I know that he kept busy doing very technical things - software technology that I don't even understand. He has suggested that I get back into programming. But I wouldn't know how to get back in and make a buck from it. So I decided to take down my technology shingle and let youngsters with more energy stay in that rat race.
WDS does not yet know that I am trans. I just wonder what would happen when or if he finds out....
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