In a way, this post is a birthday card to a former friend, and commentary on peaceful communications that have taken place over the past few months.....
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I have mentioned my former cruise partner in many a post, and wish we had found a way to bridge the gulf between us. Sadly, this did not happen. A few months ago, she wrote me an email to say that she was glad that I have a solid relationship with RQS. In the past week or so, she wrote me in regard to weight loss. No, I don't think it's an attempt to rekindle a friendship. To do that, she'd have to send me an email and suggest getting together over coffee (or something similar). But I do appreciate the communication, and wanted to wish her a Happy Birthday today, as I know that she reads this blog now and then.
There are friends of mine that I haven't seen in years. One of which was the best man at my wedding. What I found interesting was that before he encamped to Florida a decade ago, he gifted me a top of the line, fully loaded iPad which I still use today. Yet, he makes no effort to initiate contact with me. Until recently, I didn't even have a phone number for him. Still, I miss him very much.
Other friends are the types who are transitional in nature. One of these friends (JS) was a woman who was very needy and destroyed her security for the sake of her children. She had virtually no home equity when I met her, and she didn't have a good plan for her retirement. Before she encamped to Florida, she had taken a job as a principal of a girl's school in Coney Island while living in Ridgefield, CT. It was an unsustainable commute for her, and one which was destroying her health and her car's life. Even her (then) financial advisor had to "read her the riot act" to get this woman's attention, and still, she didn't listen. She now lives in Florida, is caught up in the MAGA cult, and is oblivious to reality. I mention her, simply because she was a catalyst for trouble, and whoever tried to help her ended up having to abandon her because of her self destructive actions.
It is much harder to develop closeness as one gets older. And I have lost several close friends over the years, friends I once could call on (when needed) for favors. Some of my current friends will do these favors for me (such as driving me to/from a colonoscopy, etc.), but only if it works with their schedules. It's not the same as when I was married, and could count on my wife to be there for me. (I still miss her after 27 years.) But I've made do, by searching for a new love and finding one in RQS. It's just a damned shame that she can't drive. Yet, nobody's perfect.
As I get older, the more I realize that real wealth is the quality of friendships that one has. And I am very grateful for the ones who are in my life....
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