For auld acquaintance be forgot....

 

In a way, this post is a birthday card to a former friend, and commentary on peaceful communications that have taken place over the past few months.....

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I have mentioned my former cruise partner in many a post, and wish we had found a way to bridge the gulf between us. Sadly, this did not happen.  A few months ago, she wrote me an email to say that she was glad that I have a solid relationship with RQS.  In the past week or so, she wrote me in regard to weight loss.  No, I don't think it's an attempt to rekindle a friendship.  To do that, she'd have to send me an email and suggest getting together over coffee (or something similar). But I do appreciate the communication, and wanted to wish her a Happy Birthday today, as I know that she reads this blog now and then.

There are friends of mine that I haven't seen in years.  One of which was the best man at my wedding. What I found interesting was that before he encamped to Florida a decade ago, he gifted me a top of the line, fully loaded iPad which I still use today.  Yet, he makes no effort to initiate contact with me.  Until recently, I didn't even have a phone number for him.  Still, I miss him very much.

Other friends are the types who are transitional in nature.  One of these friends (JS) was a woman who was very needy and destroyed her security for the sake of her children.  She had virtually no home equity when I met her, and she didn't have a good plan for her retirement.  Before she encamped to Florida, she had taken a job as a principal of a girl's school in Coney Island while living in Ridgefield, CT.  It was an unsustainable commute for her, and one which was destroying her health and her car's life.  Even her (then) financial advisor had to "read her the riot act" to get this woman's attention, and still, she didn't listen.  She now lives in Florida, is caught up in the MAGA cult, and is oblivious to reality.  I mention her, simply because she was a catalyst for trouble, and whoever tried to help her ended up having to abandon her because of her self destructive actions.

It is much harder to develop closeness as one gets older.  And I have lost several close friends over the years, friends I once could call on (when needed) for favors.  Some of my current friends will do these favors for me (such as driving me to/from a colonoscopy, etc.), but only if it works with their schedules.  It's not the same as when I was married, and could count on my wife to be there for me.  (I still miss her after 27 years.) But I've made do, by searching for a new love and finding one in RQS.  It's just a damned shame that she can't drive.  Yet, nobody's perfect.

As I get older, the more I realize that real wealth is the quality of friendships that one has.  And I am very grateful for the ones who are in my life....

I'm glad I don't work in the city anymore.

 

Lately, the temperature has broken the 90° mark, and people are sweltering outside. If I had still been commuting to the city, I'd feel as if I needed to take a shower to feel fresh when I got to work.  Even though I went to the City this past Monday, it is not something I'd want to do every day anymore.

There was a time where I would have been glad to put up with the headaches of commuting.  Not anymore.  If I can't get to work with a short drive, I don't want to consider the job.  I no longer need the money, and work is only something to keep myself busy.  Although I will do some volunteer work now and then, I would prefer to get a job that pays me - people care more for a person's work when they have to pay for it.  People don't care much for things that have not been assigned a specific value, and "Free" is something that is rarely valued.

And this leads me to think about the current day....

RQS and I have each been thinking about buying new mattresses.  My mattress has a sagging middle, while RQS's mattress has edges that no longer provide adequate support.  Too bad we couldn't combine our bad mattresses to make one good one.  Due to the weather, we won't be doing any mattress shopping until autumn, as both of us want to look at the Saatva mattress in their NYC showroom.  This will be an excuse for the two of us to take the subway into Manhattan, and explore the city a little bit.

In cooler weather, I'd feel no problem in going to RQS's place.  But when Summer comes, traffic gets fouled up even more the closer I get to RQS's apartment.  It seems that the combination of commuter traffic, stadium traffic, and airport bound traffic brings all the roads I want to use to a stand still when the weather gets warm.  RQS and I have an agreement - she takes the train up to see me during the summer, and I will drive down to her place during the cooler weather.  So far, this has worked out well for us.  It's too bad that we don't live closer to each other.  But this can be changed at some future date.

If I were still working in the city, I'd leave my car in Croton for weekends and stay at RQS's during the week.  Although my commute would likely have taken the same amount of time as taking the train from Croton, I'd have had the benefit of being with RQS all the time.  Since I am no longer working, I have to think about the day that I will no longer be able to drive.  At that time, I want to live in a place where both RQS and I will be able to get around without the need for a car.  If only such places were easy to find....

I'm hoping that things work out ...in more ways than one.

 

Sometimes, I just feel like I have no words to describe how I'm feeling.  Today, I have some of the words, but my thoughts are still up in the air....

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Yesterday, I had a job interview with the NYS court system.  Given my age, a job offer for a contingent-permanent position might be the only way people would be willing to take a chance in hiring an older person.  The body is needed, and a person like me could have less at risk than a younger person being hired for the job.

The condition I worry about is that the position becomes a permanent position AND that the civil service list is still active.  If the canvass attracts more than two people higher up on the list, I would be bumped out of a job I've been doing for a while. Yet, if the list has expired by that time, then I would get the position without a second canvassing.  Luckily, the list I'm on likely expires next August, unless it was extended due to the pandemic. But this would be no comfort to me if I were to take the job, then get bumped out of the position by dumb luck....

Vicki has recommended that I take the chance on this position.  But the nature of the clientele this office serves makes me a little nervous. Additionally, I would likely have a worse commute than I now have, and I didn't like the commute when I worked less than a mile away on the same road.  So I'm of mixed mind, and hoping that the fates present me with the options best suited to my needs.

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When I got home today, I changed into Mario mode and went down to see CWS for dinner.  If it weren't for the restaurant looking to close, we could have continued talking for another hour or two.  Both of us have our baggage.  I just wonder what her reaction will be when I eventually tell her about Marian.  Again, I'm hoping that the fates guide me through this mess safely.

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This is a very confusing time of the year for me.  Sooner or later, I'll have to clarify where things stand with MWL.  But then, she may already have an idea, as we never progressed beyond heavy kissing. I'll also have to clarify things with CWS, and find out where she wants to head with things.  If I end up with no romantic option, I'll finally feel free enough to get my ears pierced, and lay off dating for a few months.  Strangely, this may also be a good path to take....

Do I really want stressful work?

A while back, I attend my high school's 45th anniversary reunion.  While there, I met an old acquaintance who remembered me, but who I didn't remember.  Yet, we struck it off as it we were closer than we were way back when.  And he volunteered to pass my resume on to one of my friends who could help me find a new job as a project manager.  Monday, this gentleman sent me an email. But am I really interested?  I sent the following in response to his email:

Thanks for getting back to me.   Although I am rusty, having been out of the field for 5 years, I'd be interested in getting back into the field if the right position were offered.  (I would want to do well by the firm hiring me.)  In addition to project management, mainframe programming is acceptable as well.

Given the length of my commute, I would not be willing to work in Lower Manhattan.  But anywhere in Westchester County or near Grand Central would be a viable commute for me.
Looking forward to hearing from you.


Trying to get back into a skill set incompletely developed after 5½ years of being idle scares me.  GFJ and I had the following exchange about this last night:

What about the job from someone in Long island?

I sent an email back to him today saying I am interested in talking. I hope to hear from him soon.  I told him in my email that I am only interested in looking for work in Westchester or around Grand Central station. I refuse to go downtown Manhattan anymore. But I'm not really looking for a high responsibility job. after being out of work for five plus years, I don't know if I could handle that responsibility again.

You can do it.

Maybe. My last experience wasn't the best one. And the one at the bank wasn't that great either.

You just have to be positive and don't look in the rear-view mirror but through the big glass in the front of the car

I didn't think that I could take over the company and start a new company on my own but I was able to do that

You have the right attitude.

You just have to be positive

I would at least talk and see if I could do it.

You have to go in with a positive attitude that you can do it

It's hard when you're not sure if you could do it anymore.

You have to say you've done it in the past and pick yourself up by your bootstraps and going with the attitude of positiveness.

Yes, GFJ is positive person.  But is she being a Pollyanna when thinking about my skills?   I wasn't able to complete the transition to being a project manager.  Nor was I that good at the job when I did it.  

Do I really want to take the risk of failure? 


PS:  After chatting with this fellow's friend, I was told that he'd pass my resume to a colleague in charge of "Mainframe Personnel."  As I would expect, I have not heard anything further along these lines....