When many people think of trans people, they think of predecessors such as Renee Richards and Christine Jorgensen. Although these two trans women had severe gender dysphoria, we all share one characteristic: we all wish we were born into the other gender. But that's the one thing that bonds us together, as many of us deal with this condition differently.
Many trans women take a path that involves exploring their sexuality, their gender presentation, and finally, body modification to make their bodies look as much like the image of themselves they want to be. But this is still a simplification. For many, gender preference is locked in at an early age, and only gets loosened up a bit when a trans person is exposed to the hormones of their identified gender. One trans woman I know enjoys the idea of "adult play" with both sexes. And yet, she has not been able to explore much after Gender Corrective Surgery (GCS or "the operation"). About the only thing she misses about life as a male is the ability to "go" standing up.
Being "Out" as a trans person often prevents a person from finding romance. For every trans person who finds romance, there may be up to 100 who are forced to give up on romance. One of the reasons an ex-girlfriend broke up with me was that I am transgender. It seems like most relationships break up because a transgender person comes "out". This may be related to a subconscious fear that a partner's sexuality will contaminate the sexual identity of the other. (Am I a lesbian if my male partner comes out as trans?) Yet, there are many trans folk who go back and forth between male and female worlds with their partners' acceptance - including myself.
Not all trans folk need GCS. For example the porn star,. Buck Angel, hasn't felt a need to modify his body to have genitalia resembling that of a cisgender male. As such, he has a unique category in the world of porn. Some of my trans acquaintances have had GCS, and others have not. Most are happy with their decisions regarding the surgery, as those with mild gender dysphoria are happy not having to go through a painful surgery and not having to dilate themselves several times each day.
You'll notice that I haven't yet mentioned social class, political affiliation, education level and sports. Most trans folk remain interested in the same pastimes they enjoyed before coming out. identify as belonging to the same social class (not necessarily economic class), retain the same political affiliation (yes, it's strange to see GOP trans people staying loyal to the party when it is anti-trans), come from all levels of education and enjoy both "male" and "female" social interests.
Being trans may seem strange to many, but it is just as strange to us at times....
2 comments:
Good observations on this strange trans life of ours, Marian. Best wishes, Sue x
I could have gone much further into the lives of traditionalists who were also trans, and these identities came into conflict. The trans person was now rejected by the tribe, and the person still pledges loyalty to the tribe's positions when it hurts them personally.
The most important question a person can ask is: What's in it for me? Anyone who can't answer that question and acts against one's own interest is a fool. No, I am not knocking altruism. Instead, one has to put a value on one's core beliefs, and draw lines where supporting group think is not to be tolerated because the individual's sense of dignity is being violated.
How many times do we say that we can accept it when some people do petty wrongs? At a certain point, we must act to stop that person from committing even worse offenses. Is it because it is the right thing to do? Or, is it because it is in our interest not to let things get worse? In the case of the trans person, I can not see this person supporting people who will not protect the trans person's rights and dignity.
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