Sometimes, I just feel like I have no words to describe how I'm feeling. Today, I have some of the words, but my thoughts are still up in the air....
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Yesterday, I had a job interview with the NYS court system. Given my age, a job offer for a contingent-permanent position might be the only way people would be willing to take a chance in hiring an older person. The body is needed, and a person like me could have less at risk than a younger person being hired for the job.
The condition I worry about is that the position becomes a permanent position AND that the civil service list is still active. If the canvass attracts more than two people higher up on the list, I would be bumped out of a job I've been doing for a while. Yet, if the list has expired by that time, then I would get the position without a second canvassing. Luckily, the list I'm on likely expires next August, unless it was extended due to the pandemic. But this would be no comfort to me if I were to take the job, then get bumped out of the position by dumb luck....
Vicki has recommended that I take the chance on this position. But the nature of the clientele this office serves makes me a little nervous. Additionally, I would likely have a worse commute than I now have, and I didn't like the commute when I worked less than a mile away on the same road. So I'm of mixed mind, and hoping that the fates present me with the options best suited to my needs.
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When I got home today, I changed into Mario mode and went down to see CWS for dinner. If it weren't for the restaurant looking to close, we could have continued talking for another hour or two. Both of us have our baggage. I just wonder what her reaction will be when I eventually tell her about Marian. Again, I'm hoping that the fates guide me through this mess safely.
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This is a very confusing time of the year for me. Sooner or later, I'll have to clarify where things stand with MWL. But then, she may already have an idea, as we never progressed beyond heavy kissing. I'll also have to clarify things with CWS, and find out where she wants to head with things. If I end up with no romantic option, I'll finally feel free enough to get my ears pierced, and lay off dating for a few months. Strangely, this may also be a good path to take....
