On the fence

 

I've discussed my situation at work more than often enough.  As much as I can use the money (my 401k dropped by 10% in the latest downturn), I could also use the time that being unemployed would return to my life.  And this is what I'm on the fence about.

- - - - - -

When I started off to work, everything was going smoothly - as if everyone was taking off from work, leaving the roads free for me.  I was wide awake, and alert - and was this way throughout the day.  I'll bet that my boss was surprised that I made the quota of work she set for me the day before.

I don't care that much that I would be let go by the job.  But I do care that I am not leaving on my own terms. I like being able to go to work as Marian, but I don't enjoy what I have to deal with to do so (and I'm referring to the work at the office, and not about the process of getting made up.)  

When I talk to people, most say that I should leave this job before it eats me up.  But I'm on the fence.  And I have been since I took this job over a year ago.

I'm looking at another position that I will likely be interviewed for.  But if I get this job, it might get in the way of me taking my Hawaii cruise later this year.  Do I want to let this happen?  Again, I'm on the fence about this.

So much fence sitting, and so little happening.  It could be worse....

 

I'm hoping that things work out ...in more ways than one.

 

Sometimes, I just feel like I have no words to describe how I'm feeling.  Today, I have some of the words, but my thoughts are still up in the air....

- - - - - -

Yesterday, I had a job interview with the NYS court system.  Given my age, a job offer for a contingent-permanent position might be the only way people would be willing to take a chance in hiring an older person.  The body is needed, and a person like me could have less at risk than a younger person being hired for the job.

The condition I worry about is that the position becomes a permanent position AND that the civil service list is still active.  If the canvass attracts more than two people higher up on the list, I would be bumped out of a job I've been doing for a while. Yet, if the list has expired by that time, then I would get the position without a second canvassing.  Luckily, the list I'm on likely expires next August, unless it was extended due to the pandemic. But this would be no comfort to me if I were to take the job, then get bumped out of the position by dumb luck....

Vicki has recommended that I take the chance on this position.  But the nature of the clientele this office serves makes me a little nervous. Additionally, I would likely have a worse commute than I now have, and I didn't like the commute when I worked less than a mile away on the same road.  So I'm of mixed mind, and hoping that the fates present me with the options best suited to my needs.

- - - - - -

When I got home today, I changed into Mario mode and went down to see CWS for dinner.  If it weren't for the restaurant looking to close, we could have continued talking for another hour or two.  Both of us have our baggage.  I just wonder what her reaction will be when I eventually tell her about Marian.  Again, I'm hoping that the fates guide me through this mess safely.

- - - - - -

This is a very confusing time of the year for me.  Sooner or later, I'll have to clarify where things stand with MWL.  But then, she may already have an idea, as we never progressed beyond heavy kissing. I'll also have to clarify things with CWS, and find out where she wants to head with things.  If I end up with no romantic option, I'll finally feel free enough to get my ears pierced, and lay off dating for a few months.  Strangely, this may also be a good path to take....

Waking up late for a good reason....

 

Sometimes, I'm able to stay home late on a weekday.  It is such a treat.  And I wish I could do this much more often than I can do right now.  Yet, as long as I have this job, I intend to be a responsible employee for as long as possible.

Today, I did a Zoom interview for another civil service job.  However, if it is offered to me, I will be at risk of losing this job from the minute I accept it.  If you look closely at the warning I received, I can lose the position if either of the following two conditions are met: (1) that the person who previously held the position wants it back, or (2) that upon re-canvassing for the position, someone higher on the civil service list wants this position.  Normally, I wouldn't take such a risky position.  But a trusted friend said that I should go for it, as my current job is mind numbing.

Life is all about taking risks.  Right now, I can afford to take this risk.  But do I really want to do so?   The population served by this position can be troublesome.  Do I need the headaches? 

This is why I manage my schedule the way I do.

 

Although I had mentioned to my boss that I planned to take an unpaid week off to take a cruise, he asked whether I noted it online - which I didn't.  In addition to setting up an account on the new payroll system, I also put in a request for a week of unpaid time off.  What I didn't know was that I would need to schedule something else for when I should be working, and whether I should attend an interview as Mario or Marian.

When I got home today, I received the following email:

Good afternoon Ms. Johnson –

We (Name 1 and Name 2) left you a message last week to inform you that we are interviewing for the Clerical Assistant position in the Westchester office of Mental Hygiene Legal Service.

We will be conducting virtual interviews on December xx, 2021.  If you are interested, please contact me.

Thank you.

Name 1

Principal Attorney.

Although I found a record of this call, I did not see any evidence of a message being left on voicemail. (I'll have to talk to them about this when I meetup with them.)  But what I noticed most about this email was that it was addressed to Ms. Johnson and not Mr. Johnson, as in my application.  Considering that all the paperwork that NYS has uses my legal name, I wondered how this mistake could be made.  Even more, how could I make this work to my advantage.  So I called Vicki for some advice.

Vicki advised me to mention that it was all right co call me "Ms." as I am transgender.  However, to clarify things, I have not yet changed my legal name, although I have worked two jobs (including the one I am in) as a female.  And then, shift the conversation to whether I am right for the job at hand.  If this person remembers me from a prior interview, I will mention that it was easier to then interview as a male at that first interview out of a desire to be overly cautious.

So now, once I hear back from this office, I will need to schedule some time off for this interview AND schedule some time off for my yearly physical.  AARGH!  At least, I have been able to keep the times I need to present male and female fully separate from each other....

 

PS:  This was too good to be true.  The next day, I received the following email.  

Good afternoon Mr. Johnson  -

This email will serve as confirmation of your interview for the position of Clerical Assistant with the office of Mental Hygiene Legal Service.  The interview will be held  ....  via Microsoft Teams.  I will send you a Microsoft Teams link prior to your interview.  Should you be unable to make the interview, please contact me at the phone number provided below.

The interview panel will consist of the following individuals: 

xxxxxxx - Deputy Director of Administration
xxxxxxx - Deputy Chief Attorney
xxxxxxx - Principal Attorney of the Westchester Offices
xxxxxxx - Secretary - Southern Westchester Office

As discussed,  this position is Contingent Permanent.  I have attached a “Status of Position” statement which further explains the “Contingent Permanent” status.  Please sign and return the form to me prior to your interview.

*In accordance with OCA guidelines, all new hires must be FULLY vaccinated against the COVID-19 virus by the date of hire, unless granted a reasonable accommodation due to disability or religion.

We look forward to meeting with you....

 
You'll note the dreaded "Mr."  at the beginning of the above email.  So I guess I'm going to attend this online meeting as Mario after all....

 

 

 

 

Originally, my plan was to post one or two entries per week.

 

Lately, I feel too exhausted to do much of anything after work.  Yet, I feel I have something to say every day of the week.  Go figure.

A critical reader made a comment that I now have something to write about other than air conditioners. Well, I have more to write about.  But I plan to keep details of many conversations private - if only because I've hurt several people in the past with my posts.

- - - - - -

Common themes that I will likely write about are: family, work, travel, health, and future full retirement.  At the age of 64,  these are common topics for people of my age.  And there are sub-topics that only transgender people will likely face.  These are the things I hope to be writing about in the future.

There are people who have made comments about what I've written about, with one person making suggestions that would please only her.  (I doubt she reads this blog anymore.)  Since this blog is mostly about things I experience, I would not be able to fulfill that person's request.  With that being said, I encounter a lot of things in my small life and I like sharing them.  I do not intend to change the theme of this blog to write about things that don't have meaning to me.  Yes, in the past, it hurt someone without me meaning to do this.  But I'll be trying to filter out details which could cause others pain or embarrassment. 

- - - - - -

With that being said, I have an interview scheduled for a potential new job.  If I get that job, I will be going as Mario and then consider socially transitioning on the job. Yet, if I were with the right person, I'd stay as Mario - and live life in both genders, but with less time spent as Marian.

Wish me luck....

 

.

 

Things may be looking up - albeit several years late.

 

Although I haven't been happy on my job, I haven't been looking hard to find a new one.  Today, something popped up from out of the blue - an interview with the NYS Office of Court Administration.

Please be advised, you have been scheduled for a Clerical Assistant
interview with the 9th Judicial District. Details are as follows:

*_Date_*

mm/dd/yy

*_Time of Interview_*

hh:mm

*_Location_*

Westchester County Courthouse

111 Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. – 9th Floor

White Plains, NY 10601

When you get to the 9th floor please advise the front desk that you are
there for the interview.

This floored me.  I had once thought I was totally forgotten by NYS-OCA, as I had taken the Civil Service Exam for this position several years ago.  However, I guess that they extended the time for this list due to the pandemic.  Who knows?  However, I received some paperwork a few weeks ago asking me if I were still interested in working for the court system - and I said yes.  The last few times I received letters like this, I was never called for an interview.  But this time, I was called.

Although I am living my life as Marian these days, I would take this job (if offered) as Mario, then socially transition (professionally) while on the job.  If asked to start this job this year, I would not be able to take any of the cruises I want to take.  However, I would likely be able to go to work and present as my authentic self, and not as Mario.  And if I enjoyed this job, I'd probably stay on the job until I am 70.

What would you do if you were in my shoes (2" heels)?  Would you retire with the resources I have?  (My 401k plus future Social Security will give me a nice income in a couple of years.)  Or, would you work to the age of 70, not being able to take the time to travel as desired.  (I like the idea of working as Marian, and wish I could have done it years ago.)  One way or another, it'll be a hard decision for me....

 

 

PS: I just checked one of the civil service tests I took.  It's 4 years, almost to the day.

Hump Day - For some, a good night for sex.

Mae West once said that it's not the men in her life, but it's the life in her men.  It's hard to believe that she was almost 100 years ahead of her time.  But her words still resonate today - even after they have been censored to fit the morals of her era.

- - - - - -

I had only one thing on my docket for the day, and that was an interview with an image scanning firm.  Everything went well, and I was made an offer.  Yes, the pay is lower than what I was earning at the census. But with my skill set being relatively worthless in this market, I'll take this job for a while to see if I like it.  It's not that I need the money.  Instead, it's that I need to keep myself active enough to enjoy getting up in the morning.

When I got home from the interview, I found an email from the employment bureau waiting for me. Since the email was addressed to Marian, I had to mention that I am pre-op transgender, and that my legal ID and photo doesn't match the image I presented on the interview, I had to ask if this was a problem - and it wasn't.  So I guess that my feminine presentation is better than I would have once thought.  Let's see what happens assuming that I'm on the job for a while.

On other matters, I have been in phone contact with two women from north of me.  One was from Kingston, and the other from Pawling.  I basically gave up on the one in Kingston, and Pawling may have dropped by the wayside.  What's really strange is that the Pawling phone number has been disconnected.  This is just as well, as both women carried more than their share of baggage.

And lastly, I had another fun online game night with YGD and some of her friends.  The Jackbox games are mostly party games, but they are fun when you have a larger group to play with.

 

 
 

Stepping Stones

When I first tried to enter the workforce years ago, I encountered a problem common to many young people.  In order to get a job, I first needed to have a job.  Now that I'm an older person, I have that same problem again.  It would be much easier for me to find work if I were already employed.  Well, it looks like this problem may soon have a resolution. 

- - - - - -

My alarms woke me up at 8:30, and brought me to full consciousness by 9:00. My TV was turned to my usual channel, and my favorite courtroom drama was playing when I got another call from the Census Bureau.  This time, they were calling me about the IT position that I really was looking for when I filed paperwork with them.  So when my TV show ended, I returned the call and now I have an interview scheduled for tomorrow morning.  Hopefully, I'll get an offer before I'd have to start the other position mentioned in an earlier entry. 

Even though the Census positions are temporary, they would be stepping stones I could use to find work outside of government.  Of course, I'd want to socially transition while on the job, so that I could interview as Marian and leave Mario behind when looking for work. So, I won't get too far ahead of myself.  Instead, I'll hold off from scheduling my planned cruise and assume that 2020 will be a year without a vacation for me.

Once I was done with the Census Bureau, I looked at today's weather forecast.  There was no way that I was going to go to today's Arts Westchester meeting, and even much less of a chance that I'd go to today's Fun Time Friends meetup.  (Note: By mid morning, I received an email from Arts Westchester's volunteer coordinator that the meeting was rescheduled for next week.) This freed up my day, and allowed it to be a Jammie Day.  And then, I received a text from SWD saying that she couldn't make lunch today.  Well, the expected snow became a fortunate coincidence, as I had our lunch scheduled for Wednesday.  I'd have hated to have crossed signals with her.  So we rescheduled our lunch for 2 1/2 weeks from now.

- - - - - -

Around 1:00 pm, the weather forecast predicted that 6" to 12" of snow would fall in my area. There was no way that I'd go out in this weather.  Instead, I decided to stay in and take care of things that I could take care of indoors - and prepare to get up early tomorrow to clean off my car AND to go to the interview that I scheduled before paying attention to the weather report.

And now, something completely different.

I have to stop and smell the roses from time to time.  Today was one of those times.  Even though I didn't get the sleep I feel I need, I felt rested.  Yet, it was a nice day to stay indoors and enjoy a "jammie day" for most of the morning and afternoon. You might wonder why I opened up my entry this way.  Well, I've been thinking of a lot of things as of late.  And one of those things has been understanding and appreciating the options I have as a "semi-retired" person.

- - - - - -

Recently, I went on a couple of interviews for part-time positions.  One of these positions would likely have resulted in me (if hired) being taken on for full-time employment within a year.  I would have enjoyed this, but would have felt a little sad due to the loss of an ability to take long cruises whenever I wanted to and could afford to do so.  If I had known the importance of experiences when younger (youth is wasted on the young), I would have lived my life very differently than I did.  Yet, I have few regrets, as I know that I would have needed much of the knowledge I have now to have effectively use my experiences to nourish my soul. And that includes the choices I made involving work, the career I chose, and my work/life balance.

When I was young, I never appreciated personal relationships, the value of chit-chat, or the need to stay tuned to what's going on in my community.  I ended up marrying a woman who was very much like me in this respect, and we had a relationship that pulled each of us closer to the other while pushing all others away.  Couple this with a job that would have me on call 24 hours, isolated from the trends in the computing industry, and minimally connected to others, and I would have problems in late middle-age when I lost many of the things that initially brought me success in life.

What would my late wife have thought if she could see me now?  There's no way I can know that.  But I think she might chuckle to know that I am regularly out and about as Marian, and that I'd scheduled a fancy dinner tonight with Vicki #1 as Marian.  Hopefully, my wife would smile because of the confidence I've gained in the past few years due to my ability to present myself to the world as Marian without embarrassment.

- - - - - -

Several years ago, I'd have worried about what others would think if they saw me when presenting as Marian.  Now, I don't give it a second thought - especially when going out to a nice restaurant.  Tonight, I drove to Vicki's place at 6 pm, then she drove the rest of the way to Purdy's Farmer & the Fish for a Restaurant Week dinner. If I had known how bad her night vision was, I'd have volunteered to make the 30 minute drive.  Not knowing where the restaurant was, Vicki overshot the place, and she made some driving mistakes on the way back to where the restaurant should have been.  I noticed the entrance, and Vicki found a comfortable parking spot.  Unfortunately, the ground was uneven, and I could feel the rocky ground beneath the soles of my shoes - this was the first of many rustic touches involving the restaurant.

Before opening the door, I noticed that the building built in 1775.  The front door looked like it was as old as the house, and we both enjoyed the rustic atmosphere upon entering the place..The setting was nice, but the tables felt a little cramped; the food was tasty, but something was off.  Both of knew what the problem was - the lights were way too dim to allow patrons to fully enjoy the food.  Even the best of food presentations will be harmed by poor lighting, and we missed out on much of the visual experience of eating a good meal.

I told Vicki about things with GFJ and with my former cruise partner.  Vicki understood the situation with GFJ, and made a comment that reflected a problem that GFJ and I had from the beginning of our relationship.  Unlike my former cruise partner, Vicki clearly sees our problems and understands what we have to overcome if our relationship is a long term relationship.  We talked about her life and issues with money.  She has to be the frugal person, as her husband is not as good as she is with managing significant sums of money. Then we got talking about the cruise partner.  Vicki agreed with me about my need to sever the connections with this woman instead of seeking out a reconciliation - some people won't grow unless unneeded scaffolding is removed.  Now, Vicki is very glad that she never had the opportunity to meet this person....

It would be easy for me to go on and on.  Even though I don't see Vicki that often, I am glad I have her as a friend.  I appreciate how level headed she is and how we connect with each other.  Too bad that sometime in the next few years, that she will retire and move elsewhere.  Until then, I'll cherish the friendship I have with her....

Missing a monthly meeting at Arts Westchester

Sometimes, I screw up things on my schedule and forget appointments.  Today was one of those days.  This was the day that the monthly Arts Westchester arts ambassadors (read: volunteers) meeting was held.  And due to the confusion that's been messing around with my life lately, I totally forgot about the meeting until mid afternoon.  AARGH!

- - - - - -

Last night, I put on my CPAP mask around 2 am, but didn't get to sleep until (at least) 3 am.  When I awoke at 7:45, I didn't feel as if I had enough sleep. And nothing was going to help - even if I laid in bed for another couple of hours.  So, I got out of bed without checking my schedule for the day and took it easy.

Eventually, I decided to look for my Freshly delivery - and it was not on my landing where I expected it.  So I got dressed and found it in front of the mailboxes.  I was too tired to complain, so I brought the box upstairs, loaded the meals into the refrigerator, and then went out to my car to clean it up for Thursday.  (HWV and another board member are going with me in my car to a Restaurant Week dinner.)  It amazed me that I found so much garbage in the back of my car, as I dumped three overflowing supermarket bags into the dumpster, and filled the Freshly box with stuff I planned to keep.  By the time I had the chance to look at my email, I realized that I had screwed up - I had missed the monthly meeting.  I contacted the volunteer coordinator to let her know what happened.  And then, I went inside to get ready for dinner.

GFJ and I are still talking.  Over dinner, she mentioned that something I said triggered thoughts of what the real problems are.  But I won't go into them here.  All I will say is that they are valid issues, and if I had been in her shoes, I might be feeling the same way that she is right now.  At least, we will be able to maintain communications between us, and see what happens in the future.

When I got home, I got an email from the art gallery I interviewed at last week.  They chose another candidate for the position.  And strangely, that makes me glad.  I wasn't the right person for the position, and they knew it.  But I did make a suggestion that I hope helps them in the future - they need a floater employee who can fill in when one of the other two people need to take off.  Who knows, maybe they'd consider me for the floater position if it is created.

A Job Interview as Marian

I think I look better now than when I first wore this dress, or its sister in teal.  And I wore it to a 11 am interview at a not-for-profit art gallery.  This is a dress that makes me feel good, even though I might not buy it today because of its hemline.

- - - - - -

Unfortunately, I couldn't get to sleep until the middle of the night.  When I awakened this morning, I knew that I would likely fall out before dinner time.  So I took a little time to get ready, making sure that everything was in the right place and put together well.  And it was off to Larchmont for the interview.

Arriving in Larchmont, I had to park my car in a 2 hour lot located on a side street off the main business corridor.  This allowed me to walk by the house of a former boss.  Looking at his driveway, I figured that all was probably well with him as he had a new looking car in his driveway. If you're thinking that this could be anyone's car, I'd beg to differ.  My ex boss (who retired about 20 years ago or so) had a habit of buying new Cadillac Coupe De Villes every few years, whether or not he needed to do so.  In fact, I'd bet that he had less than 20k miles on each 10 year old car that he may have traded in since his retirement.  (His former commute was about 5-10 miles per day, and all of his trade ins were very low mileage cars.) Hopefully, he's enjoying his retirement and is still very healthy.

When I arrived at the gallery, I was greeted by 4 people.  (Unfortunately, I can't remember their names, or I'd have sent them all thank you emails.)  I would be one of two paid employees of the gallery, responsible for keeping the center open Tuesday-Friday (my shift) and Saturday (the other shift).  This means that I would not have the freedom to schedule my vacations any longer, as they only close down in August.  That is not the time I like taking vacations, and it would crimp my style.  With this being said, I feel I was a strong candidate in office skills, but not in retail skills.  They need someone who can run a store by herself, and I doubt I am that candidate.

As I was getting up to leave, I had an experience that only women can appreciate - my hosiery failed, and a hole formed on my inner thigh.  There went my original plan to go straight from the interview to the LGBT Center to do my weekly volunteer stint.  Instead, I went straight home and got comfortable for a while.

Later on, I got a call from an old friend.  Joanie had free tickets to a play, and thought of me. So I cancelled my attendance at tonight's dinner meetup and drove back to lower county to catch a train into NYC.  I met Joanie in Times Square, then enjoyed the play - even though we were seated on opposite sides of the theater.  After the play, we went to Shake Shack to grab a burger, and gabbed until midnight. 

Noticing the time, I said that I had to make a train. Knowing that the last trains leave Grand Central around 1:30, I still had a couple of trains I could still take home.  But I wanted to get out of town by 12:30, so that I could get home by 2:00.  While on the train, I had a quick message chat with GFJ.  (She had to get up early in the morning, otherwise we may have chatted more.)  And then, I was in Pelham.  Arriving at my car around 1:15, I got a message from Joanie.  She wanted to let me know that if I got stuck in the city, I could always stay in a spare room at her place.  That's always nice to know.  By 1:45, I was home in spite of the rain.  So I figured that I'd write this entry before collapsing for the evening - and did.

I started the day with some bad news

Last night, I sent an email just to touch base about the job interview I had a month ago.  This morning, I received my reply - I was no longer being considered for the position.  Since I didn't absolutely need the job, it shouldn't bother me much.  However, I do feel a little bit of a sting due to the feeling of rejection.  Whether I was rejected because I was transgender, or if they found a better candidate shouldn't be an issue.  But I'd love to know that answer if it was appropriate for me to ask it.

- - - - - -

Misplacing things has always been a problem for me.  I have often dealt with it by buying extra stuff, so that I can find what I need when I need it - without having to organize my environment beforehand. Now that I don't have "excess" money coming in, one of the things I have to do is develop better habits for where I temporarily store things that I bring into the house.  The other day, I brought in a prescription I took home from the drug store, and do not remember what became of it.  Did I combine the pills with the ones remaining from my old prescription?  Or, did I misplace them in one of my rooms?  If the former, I'll have no evidence that I did so.  If the latter, the pills will show up some time in the future.

Just before I left for my weekly speech therapy session at Mercy, I found the pills that "My Pooka" hid from me.  (I'm always joking about a mischievous pooka when I'm missing something I know I have in my apartment. Just don't call him "Harvey".  Harvey hangs out with Elwood P. Dowd.)  And I was able to leave for Dobbs Ferry with a more relaxed attitude.  While on the way down, I remembered that I had to schedule my yearly physical with my doctor.  Since his office closes at 3:00, I pulled off at a highway exit, made the call, and got back on the road, losing only a couple of minutes.

Arriving at Mercy a little after 3:00, I worked with the two student clinicians.  If my voice is recorded on the iPad they use, much of my masculine vocal resonance is captured and magnified.  But if recorded on a cell phone's voice mail, my voice almost sounds feminine.  There is still a lot of work that has to be done.  But I know that a reasonably feminine voice can come from my voice box, given the voice of a famous transgender woman who was well known when I was young.

I drove back to my apartment to kill a couple of hours, and then drove down to Yonkers for the weekly round of board games.  For once, I won a game - a round of "Exploding Kittens".  And I didn't do too badly in the other games either.  But my mind was elsewhere - I was checking the news and email quite a bit on the phone.  (It didn't help that the host's daughter wanted to join in a couple of games, and she was another distraction to deal with.)  Yet, I enjoyed myself, and will miss the camaraderie of the group for the next 3 weeks.  While playing games, I had a quick message exchange with JS.  Seems like our daytime get together this weekend is off - she is seeing a couple of real estate agents on Saturday.  I guess financial reality is catching up with her after all....

Beginning the week on a high note

I spent the weekend with GFJ, and had the pleasant opportunity to see "Raise Hell: The life and times of Molly Ivins" on Sunday night.  Usually, it's GFJ who falls asleep during the movie.  But I missed a bit of the movie because I couldn't stay fully awake.  (Having just eaten a heavy dinner didn't help.)  What I saw of the film, I liked. And I hope to catch it when it comes to cable sometime in the near future.

- - - - - -            - - - - - -            - - - - - -

The next day, I accompanied GFJ to her dermatologist, so that a cyst could be removed from her left shoulder.  I'm glad I did so, as she didn't feel good about driving on the way back to her place.  She told me that the doctor had to dig deep to get all of the cyst out, and that she expected the wound to hurt a bit as it healed.

When I drove home in the afternoon, I could have called my GP to schedule my yearly physical.  I missed his office when I got home, as it now shuts down at 3 pm - and I got home at 3:45 pm.  (Dollars to doughnuts, based on his shrinking office hours, that he is readying himself for his eventual retirement. That's another story for another post.)  But I did make it to the drug store for my second shingles shot.  And this was something I had to do while presenting as a male.

Getting home, I played the messages on my answering machine that I couldn't play while away.  Once I got the phone number of the lady I had to contact for an interview, we scheduled an interview for next week -  an interview that I'll go to as a female.  Assuming that I work again, I intend to do so while presenting as Marian.  Although my legal identity may still be in Mario's name, I want to continue my path towards living my life as Marian and not as Mario.

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Tuesday came, and I wasn't in the mood to do anything.  JS and I were supposed to get together, but she cancelled out.  Seems like she needed to earn an extra few dollars tutoring a child today.  In our quick online exchange of messages, I think it's fair to assume that nothing has changed in her life, save that the assumptions she made to take the job in Brooklyn were invalid - her costs are higher than expected, and the commute is sapping the energy out of her.  Too bad that she didn't take her financial planner's advice and move to Florida - she'd be better off down there. This left me with one thing on my docket - going to the dining meetup.  Did I really want to get showered, made up and dressed?  That was the big question I had to address, and I had to address it by 3:30 or so.

Around 4:00, I ended up taking my shower and getting ready for tonight's dinner.  GFJ called me as I was about to put on my makeup, and I chatter with her for about a half hour.  (There went the extra time I needed to arrive early at the restaurant.)  But it was worth the awkward timing, as she's been getting tired earlier in the evening than in the past, and I wanted to chat while both of us were able to chat coherently.

A little before 6:00, I ended up leaving for dinner, and I got stuck in slow moving traffic along Route 9.  It didn't help that the driver just ahead of me was impaired.  No, I'm not saying that the person was drinking or drugging.  Instead, I think that he didn't have a clear view of the roadway's edge due to the rain, and had trouble staying fully in the lane.  (If he had also been swerving over the center double line, I'd have thought the person was under the influence.)  Even I was having trouble driving, given the darkness and the drizzle.  A hard rain might have been better, as people may have driven more slowly and followed a path set by the leader of the pack of cars.

Just before 6:45, I arrived at the restaurant and found a seat.  This restaurant did not know how to handle late arrivals for a large group, nor did it staff our area properly.  I had to get up and ask the waitress for the Prix-Fixe menu, as she didn't bring me one on my arrival.  She shouldn't be given a hard time based on my writing- the waitress was doing the job of two people, and had to deal with the needs of 28 people. Unfortunately, the restaurant was too noisy for my taste, and I had a hard time chatting with people.  To keep myself busy, I started reading articles on my cell phone.  (Where would we be without these devices?)  But, I was glad to be drawn back into conversations by my table neighbors, as well as by WDJ.

Our meetup broke up a little after 9:00, and I drove home through the rain.  Unfortunately, I wasn't able to reach GFJ again, so I was glad that I spoke with her before leaving for dinner.  Arriving home without incident, I stripped out of my clothes and got into something comfortable for the rest of the night.