With certain exceptions, I am most comfortable with women.

 

If I could have been the woman in the picture above, there would have been no stopping me.  This version of me would have been very confident in her shoes (preferably low heels) and unafraid to tackle any challenge put forward to her.

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As you can see, I've been playing around with ChatGPT a little to figure out what a cisgender female version of me would have looked like. This is the "should of" version of me that could not have been due to when I was born and the life is was born into.

Even as a child, I was more comfortable with women, although I received the typical male programming.  Yes, I played with wax molded "action figures" (think of wax GI Joes cast in plastic molds) when I was in lower grade school. But I was equally comfortable playing hopscotch with the girls up the street.  You can guess what would happen when puberty hit the children of my generation.  No longer would boys and girls see each others as equals - the social customs related to reproduction came into play.

If I were born with XX Chromosomes, I likely would have been a girly girl, modeled as such by my mother.  What she didn't know was that I wish I could have been born with those XX chromosomes, even with the adult knowledge of how inconvenient a female body could be.

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One of my friends described me as her straight gay best friend.  What she meant by that is that I have a gender preference for females, but have many of the interests of a gay male (theater, music, arts, etc.) in our culture.  (This woman is married to a stereotypical male - nice looking body, but not too much brain in the head.)  

When I present as a male, the first thing women think if I offer friendship is whether I am interested in them sexually.  I can't blame them: our culture doesn't provide well for cross-gender friendships.  It also doesn't help that male primates (save for the Bonobo apes) tend to be male dominant.)  So, presenting as a female puts me on a more equal plane with women - especially if I can blend in enough for my masculine features not to be noticed.

Life isn't always fair, but we have to make the most of it.  At least, as a transgender person I can do so as long as hateful people stay out of my way....

A day at home, a dinner with Vicki

 

Last night, I was playing around with ChatGPT and asked it to generate a picture of me (face previously altered to look more feminine) standing in San Francisco on a nice summer's day.  I wish I could have been that woman in the picture in real life.  The AI version of me exudes happiness in her smile, and she projects a form of confidence that can't be ignored.

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This morning, I got up at my usual time and decided to cook breakfast - eggs and corned beef hash.    It's one of my quick go-to meals, as all I do is open up a can of hash, heat it up, then scramble in a couple of eggs.  It's a one skillet meal that I can make with a minimum of fuss.

After breakfast, I decided to relax, as I was not in the mood to do any type of decluttering.  Instead, I waited for an Amazon delivery that put 2 packages by my door.  The first package contained a set of mouse pads - the thing I needed most for using my mouse while sitting on my sofa.  The other package contained a watch "repair" kit, with spring pins that could be used to connect a watch strap to the base of the watch.  (The kit didn't contain all I needed to make fixing the watch band I had an easy job.  But it had just enough stuff for me to reattach one end of the watch band to the other.)  At least I learned a little something new by doing this task myself.

Around 5 pm, I left for dinner at the local Japanese restaurant.  Vicki was there on time - I was 10 minutes late.  Today's conversation was not as intense as it could have been.  Instead, it was relaxed, in part because Vicki had just had a facial and was already relaxed.  We talked about my latest cruise, and her husband's truck.  But very little talk of a serious nature.  And that was a big relief.  Yet, the issue of how I dressed on the cruise came up.  I mentioned that I dressed as Mario, as I didn't want any possible contact with Federal Government employees while presenting as Marian, as I don't want to be hassled by the Orange Snowflake's Gestapo.

Once done with dinner, I found out that Game Night was cancelled.  So I drove to Walmart to pick up a few items, and then to the supermarket to pick up ingredients for another batch of onion soup.  By the time I got home, I wouldn't wait to take off my bra and falsies, my wig, and most of my clothes to get into something comfortable.  

Tomorrow, RQS comes here again, and I start work on another batch of onion soup....