If we're lucky, most of our lives can be pleasantly uneventful.

 

Millions of people have gone through the Great Hall at Grand Central Terminal in New York, with nothing but another Hum-Drum day ahead of them.  For the most part, life is like a great musical work: Small events setting up the main theme, with major events being developed in the middle, with a coda to close out the work.  We start as children, become who we will be in early adult hood, repeat many of our choices through middle age, and close out our lives with the sum of our choices behind us.  Most of us have "Boring" lives, falling within the "standard deviation" of life.  Others have lives outside the "standard deviation", producing great things, but paying a great price for those accomplishments.

For many transgender people, life is never hum-drum.  As children, we often get push-back when we identify as a different gender than that assigned to us.  If we're lucky, we'll live in an area where gender therapy treatments are available, and live with parents who are comfortable with seeing that we get that therapy.  If we're unlucky, we'll live in an area that will deny us that therapy, or have parents who deny us the therapy we need.  Assuming we survive our childhood "intact" (read: without too many psychological hangups), our adulthood can be rocky as well.  It's much harder for us to learn how to act according to the opposite gender's rules when we lived our childhoods learning the rules of our assigned gender.  Couple that with (most likely) sexually dimorphic characteristic development for the gender to which we were assigned, and it can be a living hell.  Then, imagine being rejected by family and friends when one outs him/herself, and I'd never wish this experience on one's enemies.

Assuming one successfully navigates this gauntlet, one gets to live a normal life.  Or, is it normal?  Many of us stand out because our bodies are not "just tight".  For many, social prejudices haunt them through adulthood.  An example of this is our president's executive order "correcting" gender marking on passports to the gender transgender adults were assigned at birth.  There are people who hate us because we do not fit into a gender binary.  They say it's against God's will.  But is it?  To me, the ignorance of society is inexcusable.

Boredom can be a blessing for us.  If we're not under attack, we can live relatively normal lives.  This doesn't mean we'll be free of stress.  Instead, our stressors will be in the "normal" range.  And isn't that we all want?

 

I wish I had hips....

 

One of the problems that I have with my body is that I don't have the hips to wear certain garments.  When the above dress was new, I looked OK from the top up.  But my hips left a lot to be desired.  I had no natural curves.  This dress has long since been retired, and yet, I'll always have the same problem as I did several years ago - my hips are not wide enough to meet the proportions of a typical woman of my age and size.

- - - - - -

Over the years, I have learned to dress appropriately for a woman my age.  And that includes wearing more traditionally masculine garments such as trousers.  But I prefer to wear the feminine versions of these garments.  Over time, for example, I have grown to feel much more comfortable carrying a handbag and not looking for items in my pockets.  So it has now become strange for me to wear any garments with pockets, save when I'm in Mario mode.  And, about the only time I've been in Mario mode these days is when I see my internist, my dates, and my family. On these days, the feeling of male garments is noticeably different that what I normally wear during the week.  

The other day, one woman started to ask me about the women in my wife - as if she needed a scorecard to keep them straight.  But then, I am very unusual, as I am a genetic male who finds females more interesting to have as friends than to have as bed partners.  And, if I had my choice, I would have been born as a cisgender female, so that I could partake of the richness of emotional experiences open to women.  This comes at a big price, and no one should forget it.  Females are often ignored because of their gender.  They are bullied (or worse) by males, as they have less body and muscle mass.  And they have all the major headaches of reproduction. Cisgender males have no idea how easy it is for them....

With all that being said, right now, I simply wish I had nice hips, so that my clothes would look better on me.