A woman's work is never done - A short post

 

Tonight, I left RQS to take care of things at home.  But I notice one thing about her: She's always trying to take care of the little things that I'll let sit for a while. As much as I am grateful for this, I also wish that she could put down her burdens for a while and relax a little.  And this got me thinking....

How much of what could be perceived as male laziness around the house can be attributed to women taking on responsibilities too quickly?

A while back, RQS had a situation where her brother should have stepped up and taken on some responsibilities on his own.  (I won't go into details here.)  He didn't step up, and she had to take on the bulk of these responsibilities.  What would have happened had she not stepped up?  Chaos to say the least. Why do women let men get away with this?

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Years ago, a Jewish woman and I had a conversation regarding the roles of men and women in the faith. One of the prayers that the men chant has a phrase that thanks god for not being born as women.  They recognized the role of women in the family, yet treated women as if they are subordinate.  What lazy bums!!!!  Shouldn't the men be taking on more responsibility to make their women's lives easier?  Instead, they seem to be giving thanks to be allowed to be deadbeats.

Similar attitudes can be found in many faiths and cultures.  And having been raised as a male, I absorbed some of these values when young, and have had to work to erase the dysfunctional subset of values from my belief system.  Yet I wonder: Why don't more women just say NO and let the system that enslaves them fall apart?

Drag Queen Bingo!

 

It's been a long time since I've been to a meetup with this group, so I decided to attend a gathering at a bar where Drag Queen Bingo was going on.  I guess I'm confident enough in my presentation that I wouldn't been seen as anything but a lady (albeit transgender) when in the presence of a man exaggerating feminine mannerisms and styles.

Drag is an art.  And, as such, should be protected by the US Constitution.  Unfortunately, anything that is "Gender Variant" is being attacked in GOP states.  Attacking transgenders is easy for them to consider, as many of us simply wish to be left alone to live our lives and do not yet have the critical mass of defenders to repel these attacks.

Many transgender children are at risk because of laws being passed in the GOP states.  Their religious leaders are preaching messages of hatred, giving their parishioners permission to unleash their hatred at these defenseless children.  Many parents are both taking these children to other states for gender related treatment, and are moving their families so that their children will not become victims of the cultural war.

As much as I would have liked to visit my cisgender female friends from Texas in their home town, I could not assume I could safely take the risk.  Texas has passed a law requiring that people wear "gender appropriate" clothing - and as a pre-op/non-op transgender person, I could get into serious trouble.  So, we're meeting up in Chicago instead.

But back to Drag Queen Bingo....

In a way, it takes balls for a man to go on stage and present as a female.  The art of drag has been with us for ages, and is quite entertaining because it pokes fun at gender roles.  It subverts those roles while allowing us to examine what is real, and what is not.  As such, it is fun to watch when it is done well.  

In the long term, I will try to defend those drag queens - especially when they are reading stories to children at the local library.  Children are not afraid or offended of what drag queens are.  Why should the rest of us be so?

It's 13 o'clock!

 

One TG person I know describes her height as 5' 13 1/2".  It's a fun way of saying that she's 6'1 1/2".  Of course, 1 foot has only 12 inches, but most people will understand the joke and make the translation without much thought.  Today, I was in a situation where one person said that it was 1:12 pm, and I responded that it was 12:72 pm - and this caused another person to defend his reality that it could only be 1:12 pm.

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I have mentioned that we have a motley crew of diverse employees where I work.  As much as I'll joke that they could train monkeys to do our jobs, but PETA would sue them for animal abuse, I respect the firm for giving all the people working here an opportunity to earn a needed salary.  It is a good place for people who are not able to climb the corporate ladder (for whatever reason), but it is not a place for an ambitious young person to spend more than a year or two earning money to pay for college expenses. Some of the people we have hired are on the autism spectrum, and it was one of these employees who protested that it was 1:12 pm when we were joking that it was 12:72 pm.  The other person in on this joke was having fun with me, as he was comfortable with my response to him giving the time.  After 30 seconds or so, I found myself explaining to the fellow with autism that the two of us were joking with each other, knowing that we were breaking the rule that an hour only has 60 minutes.

Strangely enough, I wonder what goes on in this man's mind.  Does he need the certainty of having only ONE way of describing the world to function effectively in it?  What does this mean at a larger social level?  Could conservatism and adherence to religious dogma be related to this trait that has manifested in this person in this way?  Could the need for religion be a result of our species need to have a single explanation for everything that happens in the universe?

I remember a conversation with TCL where she was asking a lot of questions as to why something was going on.  It was frustrating, as the answer to many questions like this may only be: "it just is, because random chance may have made it this way."  And in the case of myself, I think growth came because I didn't have to accept either a fixed dogma or an unanswered question for what it provides me.

A weekend whose plan changed before it really started

Considering how busy GFJ and I would be this Thanksgiving, we decided that we'd get together for a date sometime after her two sons left for home.  With the expected snow to come on Sunday, we changed our plans, so that we could see a movie on Saturday night, then go out to eat.

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Saturday came, and I didn't bother getting up until noon.  Not only didn't I have much to do.  But a couple of books that I placed on hold with the library had yet to come in.  So my original plan of spending the day as Marian was completely scotched because of the change of plans mentioned in the prior paragraph.  That was OK with me, as I hate getting dressed, only to switch into my alternate presentation for the second half of the day.

Around 3 pm, I left for Newburgh where Midway was playing.  It was the only film that the two of us could agree on - either she had seen the film before, or it didn't hold interest to her.  So we agreed to meet at 4 pm, and I started my drive at 3:10.  Why do I mention exact times?  Well, I got stuck behind a couple of tourists on Route 9, and couldn't push the speed limit as much as I'd like.  (This is just as well, as I know I drive a little over the limit at times.) But what bothered me is that when I crossed the bridge, there was a big traffic jam just beyond old exit 10.  So I bailed out before the jam, and took back roads to the theater.  Luckily, I had taken most of these roads at least once before, and knew enough to follow the convoy from old exit 10 to a spot near old exit 7a, ending up less than a block away from the theater.

I arrived at the theater 5 minutes late, and we sat down to watch the film just as the movie started.  Perfect timing - we didn't have to sit through the trailers.  Midway is an enjoyable war flick, but I have one unavoidable criticism: They had to use CGI animation for all of the external aircraft carrier, US/Japanese aircraft, and air battle scenes, as there are no longer enough aircraft from either side to simulate the air battles.  With this being said, I had to give the film makers credit for making things look as real as possible.  If I weren't so familiar with CGI renditions of real life objects, I wouldn't have thought about CGI being used in the film.

When the film ended, GFJ noted that the air battles had too much gun fire.  Part of me wanted to say "Duh!" but I didn't want to upset her - she probably compromised to find a film that I might like.  Instead, I said that we should go for dinner - and it was off to the Chinese Buffet nearby. All too soon, dinner ended and we had to go our separate ways. 

Later in the evening, my brother responded to a message I sent him.  And he surprised me by telling me that he finally bought a new phone - a Motorola Z4.  I think he'll be very happy with it.  If I didn't already have the Z3, I'd be buying the Z4 for less than I paid for the Z3.

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Sunday came, and I woke up early enough to go to church.  As much as I don't plan to be a regular church goer, there is something I like in the old rituals that gives me comfort.   Due to the nature of religion, change comes slowly to the traditional service structure, and it's easy to pick up where one left off.  If one is Catholic, you might remember when the church gave its approval for services to be given in the vulgar (read: common) tongue.  In my church, the idea of "sharing the peace" was cribbed from changes occurring in the Catholic church at that time. 

Sometimes, during a church service, my mind veers away from the service itself and onto simple ideas I wouldn't put together outside of a serene setting.  Today, my mind started focusing on the word "communion" and how it relates to "community."  From there, I connected the dots to the word "Communism" and I could see the disconnect between many "Conservative Christians" and the belief structure contained in the scriptures.

John Calvin posited that if you were going to be blessed by God in the afterlife, that God would be rewarding you in this life.  Prosperity would become an indicator of being blessed. In short, we have the beginnings of the false gospel of prosperity that many people believe in.  Today, many Evangelicals have given up the underlying message of Christianity (Feed the hungry, heal the sick, help the poor, etc.) and are doing the exact opposite. They are judging people without knowing the circumstances which affect those in need.

Communion, Community and Communism - What is the link connecting these words?  It is a community coming together to take care of its needy.  Sadly, the word "Communism" has been contaminated by the flawed political system and flawed economic theory that is associated with that word.  The Red Scare of the 1950's still haunts us today.  Use the words "Communism" or "Socialism" and one triggers up cultural memories of an era where America's propaganda machine labeled the Eastern Bloc as Atheists without morals or ethics. If one lived in this bloc before the Soviet Union fell, one would see his/her government as a problem, and see America's propaganda as just that.  They would feel that America has no soul - we were caught in crass commercialism and materialism.

When the service ended, I was again reminded of the healthy version of these words.  Communion - coming together to share ideas which make us better as individuals and as a group.  Community - being part of a larger group, and not needing to be alone in this world. Communism - the idea that we voluntarily share with others so that their needs can be taken care of.   No matter what that faith is, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, etc., a healthy faith teaches us that we are all part of something larger than we are, and that we should take an active part in improving that larger whole.

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After church, I took a quick trip to the grocery store in advance of the incoming storm.  Unlike many people, all I needed was enough stuff to get me through a day or two. When the storm passes, the roads will be quickly cleared, and I can go out again.  Until then, I might as well do another load of laundry.