Planning for the future

 

I am a male with gender non-conforming presentation, or I am a transgender woman with very mild gender dysphoria.  In either case, I have to think about my future, and my potential needs as I grow old.  This means I may need to find senior care facilities which accommodate and cater to people like me.  I don't think I'll feel comfortable if I'm forced to present as Mario for the rest of my life.  And I don't think I'd feel comfortable if I'm only able to be with queer people like me.  I need to be in a place where I can mix between both worlds - something which may not be possible for a baby boomer like me.

Although there are services for the senior LGBT community, such as senior housing and senior centers, I will try to live on my own for as long as possible.  Yet, I will eventually need to find housing that fits the needs of an older version of myself, and I expect that there will not be enough of this type of housing when I need it.  So what will I do?  I have no children.  My niece and nephew live far enough away that they might as well not exist.  Having a spouse/partner in old age may help for a while, but she will also be suffering the slings and arrows of old age at the same time as I do.  If I were to dwell on it much, I'd be scared.  But I look at things like this as they come and address them when they come.

Yet, I wonder - what will the future bring?

As I see it, it's very important for me to build up a social network now, so that I have people I can ask for help as I need it.  For example, my tax preparer, an enrolled agent, has retired, and I have been asking around for references.  Hopefully, I will find one soon, as I would prefer to use someone other than the person I could use as a fall back.  I can only imagine what it will be like when I can no longer drive or go up/down stairs and have to move.  Who will be there to help me handle my affairs?  (Maybe I can ask my uncle about this when I visit him this spring.)  This is only the tip of the iceberg that is "growing old in today's America" and I have yet to find the answers I need.

Any ideas?

Getting Old

 

Very soon I will turn 65 and be eligible for Medicare.  It's amazing how quickly time passes.  It seems like yesterday that I was trying to skip out of school and do things I enjoy more.  With the exception that I now want to skip work, it still seems the same to me - there is never enough time, money, or energy to do all the things one wants to do.

In the past, I wouldn't think twice of taking on a strenuous task.  For example, it took the efforts of 3 men (including me) to get my entertainment center up my staircase.  Today, I realize that I will either smash the thing to bits to get it out of my apartment, or that someone will hire some strong men to get it out of my place.  I will not risk my health to get this piece of oversized furniture out of my apartment.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that I should start seriously thinking of getting old.  How far do I want to continue along my path towards femininity?  Romance will limit my progress on that path.  And this might be OK, as there are few old age homes that specialize in the needs of the LGBT community.

Do I fear getting old?  No.  But I fear getting decrepit.  As a result, I will be walking a lot as the weather gets warmer.  Keep your fingers crossed for me....