The loss of a cat - a quick post

 

My cat died over 10 years ago.  And yet, I still miss her trying to be close to me.  Strangely enough, I feel sad because RQS just lost her youngest cat, a cat who rarely wanted to be friendly and only on its terms.

- - - - - -

From the time I met RQS, this cat never wanted to show any affection.  When I came near her, she would always hiss at me.  RQS told me that this cat was strongly bonded to her late husband, and tolerated RQS in her life when he passed.  Six years later, I met this cat, and learned that she was going to stay away from me, save for rare situations, and defend her territory with prejudice. Over the past year and a half, this cat got to accept me, and occasionally come to me to get stroked.  But it would only do so on its terms, and would run away after a short amount of affection was given.  So both RQS and I found it strange that the cat hid under the bed when her feeder came over the weekend.

I dropped RQS off at the station today, and she made it home without incident.  Our plans were for me to go to her place in the early afternoon tomorrow, and take this cat to the vet for hair trimming - she would not let RQS brush her hair, and the only way to keep the cat groomed (for its comfort) was to take it to the vet.  Well, RQS found the cat panting, and made an emergency visit to the vet.  The cat was sick, and the doctor gave RQS no assurances that the cat could be saved.  Sadly, this cat had to be put to sleep.

It's a sad thing.  I'll miss this cat, even though it wouldn't miss me.  Maybe, it was growing on me.  Who knows?  But I will be there tomorrow anyway, as I need to drop off some luggage for our upcoming California trip.  And I think that RQS will need me around to comfort her.

RQS and I go for a pedicure - a short post

 

Unlike the first half of the weekend, the second half would have me in Marian mode.  This would allow for me to get a much needed pedicure with RQS.  And, it would allow me to enjoy the weather without having the discomfort I feel when wearing trouser like garments.

RQS and I have a habit of getting out late, and we didn't get moving until 2:00 pm.  By the time we made it to the local nail salon, it was a little bit after 4:00 pm.  Due to the holiday, they had fewer people people on staff than usual.  But we were out of there by 5:30, and took a nice drive before going for dinner at a local Greek restaurant.

I'm grateful that I am able to go out and about as Marian when with RQS.  Yes, she does need her time with Mario. And she is still getting used to me being both Marian and Mario. But for now, she is my partner, and I will try to make her as happy as possible.

I brought TCL and RQS together for the first time - a short post

 

No, that is not RQS next to me.  Instead, this strong, silent critter  just made me want to show some affection for someone who is a little different.

But to be serious....

I've been trying to get TCL and RQS in the same place for a while.  But circumstances never permitted it.  Recently, I was able to schedule a shopping trip to New Jersey to take care of some errands for RQS, and then meet up with TCL afterwards to chat.  However, I had to make sure that I was presenting as a male 😞 for this meeting to happen.

First, RQS and I went to the pet store to buy some "pill pockets" for use this coming week when we planned to take one cat to the vet for its periodic fur removal. After that, it was off to Home Depot to get some blinds for her apartment. And then it was off to Dunkin Donuts to meet with TCL for coffee. Who knew that we'd be chatting for over 2 hours, until the shop had to close.  Now, RQS has seen TCL and understands how she can ramble on and on at times.  (I do it too, and have to watch out for when I do so.)

Later on, I received a text from TCL - she loves RQS and sees how and why we get along.  I'm sure that the two of us will be seeing her again soon.

Slow cooking some ribs - a short post

 

Ribs!  Yum!

The other day, I saw a rack of vacuum packed ribs selling for a reasonable price.  So, I figured that I might have some fun with the slow cooker and have some "fall off the bone" good stuff for dinner tonight.  Since RQS was coming up, I didn't want to waste much time preparing the ribs and dealing with my oven.  (The less I use my oven when the weather is warm, the more comfortable my apartment will be.)  So, I took my crock pot off the shelf, cleaned it up, and started to prepare the ribs.

Slow cooker ribs are reasonably easy to prepare.  I do them in a simple way:

1. Take a full rack of ribs and cut them up into portions of 3-4 ribs each.
2. Pour a full bottle of BBQ sauce (whatever type I like and have in hand) and pour it in the pot.
3. Place the ribs in the pot, making sure all are covered by the sauce.
4. Turn the crock pot on high, and let it cook the ribs for 5 hours.
   Note: One may want to adjust the ribs occasionally to keep them all submerged.
   

If I want to further caramelize the ribs, I may place the ribs on a ridged stove-top grill and cook them a little more on the stove.  But I usually don't bother doing this, as I like the results fresh out of the pot.

Is there a better way to celebrate the unofficial start of summer with Ribs?   If there is, I'll enjoy it later on.... 

Meeting up with a friend from the Census

 

When the above restaurant was split between two strip malls, as single slice pizza joint in one site, and a sit-down restaurant in the other site, I would always avoid going to the sit-down place when presenting as a female as I was a regular there in male mode.  However, when they consolidated operations in this place, they stopped serving slices and became a more classy, but casual, sit-down restaurant. The old staff went on to establish and manage other places, leaving this place open for me to be a regular while presenting as a female.

I met my friend while working the 2020 census, and we both had stories to tell each other.  No, I can't say that our stories were that exciting.  But we saw each other as peers, people with whom conversation flowed freely. And we kept in contact after our terms at the census ended. Although I can't say we're close (we don't reveal the types of intimate secrets that most women share), we have shared things that we don't want certain people to know. Both of us will soon be doing some distance travel, me to take a cruise and my friend to go to a wedding.  We'll have things to share when we get together next month. 

But why is this important?

Although it is harder for many trans people of my age to make friends because of learned prejudice, it is not impossible.  Many foreign born and younger people have fewer prejudices against us because, as I see it, they are also people trying to make their way in our American culture.  Hopefully, other trans people will successfully find their ways, not giving up on things....

Another night of Drag Queen Bingo

Drag queen bingo.  It's not my normal cup of tea.  But it was part of a mid-week meetup, and I had nothing better to do this evening.  Given that there were 6 of us ladies there (myself included), it was nice to get together for something mindless and entertaining.

Like a typical Hibachi dinner, once you've seen a drag queen's performance, you've seen it all.  There is very little variation in the performance from show to show. But, in small doses, it stays a pleasant diversion when you have nothing to do.  And I certainly had nothing to do today. I was bored, so I might as well get bored with friendly people. And what is it about these performances that I find so boring?  With Hibachi chefs, it is the limit to the routines they can do with food being cooked. With drag queen performances, it is excessive exaggeration combined with lame sexual jokes.  It gets boring when one sees the same performer repeat an act with little variation from performance to performance.

Yet, I consider myself lucky.  I live in a state which protects the right of a drag performer to put on a show.  This is very important to me, as we've already seen several states ban drag performances in the name of public decency.  Who is being harmed by drag queen story hours at the local library?  The children?  I doubt it.  I'd rather have my young child read to by a drag queen than be given religious instruction by a Catholic priest.  (Yes, I know that 99% and more of the ordained priests are people I can trust.  But, in the past, the church has protected that evil 1% and rotated pedophiles from parish to parish and kept them from being held to account in a non-religious court.)  I've never heard of any drag queens molesting children, but I have heard of religious leaders doing so.

If I'm back by the time of the next show, I may end up going again.  In my way, it is a form of support for these performers, letting them know that they are appreciated.  And I hope that more people will join me in supporting their right to perform their craft without interference from the state.

A cruising promotion watch-out

 

Although I have enjoyed my cruising with one cruise line, I am leery of booking my flights with that same cruise line after hearing complaints about their ticketing issues in several forums.  My experience with this line's air travel booking was merely acceptable, but it was not something which made me want to use this service again - even if it saves me money.

Today, I watched two travel agents discuss NCL's flight booking program, and realized that I got lucky with my flights to/from Hawaii.  If I had used NCL's hotline to get assistance when United scuttled the first leg of my flight to Honolulu, I might have missed the first day of my Hawaii cruisetour. This would have been a great disappointment, as I spent almost $9,000 to take this trip and would hate to lose a day in Hawaii due to a plane's mechanical failure.  Given that NCL will not guarantee that all passengers on a single booking will fly together, and that NCL has canceled tickets on the day of the flight, I will likely never use this service for myself again.

There are some travel agents that still consider NCL's "second person flies free" part of the "free at sea" promotion, and will consider this option for their clients. So it pays to understand what one gets as part of the promotion and what one doesn't get.  Although RQS and I will be taking an NCL cruise early next year, they will not be booking our flights.  I do not trust them to get the best value for us when we can't even choose which airport that we fly out of.  As I've mentioned, I live in Westchester county, and RQS lives in Queens.  It would be a hardship for us if our flight were booked to leave from Newark instead of La Guardia or JFK.  But NCL does not allow us to specify an airport if another airport is within 60 miles of where we live.

It's obvious that we'll be cruising with NCL again, as we already have two more cruises with NCL in the pipeline.  But, given the horror stories being reported in the NCL Facebook forums and now by prominent YouTube.com vloggers, I will no longer be taking my chances and letting NCL book my flights.