California Vacation - Day 06 (Sea Day)

 

Last night, I fell asleep between 2:00 am and 3:00 am and woke up this morning around 7:30 am.  Of course, looking back at things, I didn't feel thoroughly rested.  But I made sure to get up and get dressed to connect with my new friend for breakfast at the buffet around 9:30 am.  As has become usual on this ship, we hung out together from breakfast through lunch.  And then, we met again for afternoon tea, only to schedule dinner together with her friends. Now, it's nice to have someone to chat with, but it's always nice to have time alone. I just didn't make enough of this time today.  But I will do so tomorrow, when we reach Catalina island.

But I have gotten out of sequence.  So I'll go back a step or so....

We rushed through our breakfast, as there was a cooking demonstration being given in the main theater.  It was scripted well, with one chef playing a true professional, and the other being a clown who would screw up the recipes by adding too much of certain important ingredients such as Garlic, Worcestershire Sauce, Brandy and Vodka.  It was a funny show, followed by a quick tour of the galley. Next, we were off to lunch in one of the main dining rooms, where we shared a table with other cruisers.  By the time this meal came around, I really wasn't hungry.  I simply ate to be social.

Once lunch was over, we took a breather, as afternoon tea was coming up for the last time on the cruise.  This time, I couldn't find my friend, so I sat at a shared table with other cruisers.  This was an interesting group, as I was the only Easterner, and we shared our thoughts about the "Grab and Go" thefts going on in California, and the lack of an adequate response by law enforcement.  No wonder why at least one Latin American nation elected a dictator to clean up the mess left by a bumbling democracy - and he is well liked for making it safe again to go out of the house.  Once this table broke up, I found my friend and some of her friends at a nearby table, and sat down with them for a while before going back to my cabin to change for the last gala night of the cruise.

Once I got some pictures taken, I went to dinner with my new friend, and then helped two people at the table to celebrate their birthdays.  This was steak and lobster night, and I ordered (and paid for) an extra portion, so that I could have an extra piece of lobster with my meal.  Dinner went by quickly, and I exited so that I could go back to my room for a while before going to the main theater to see Elliot Hunter perform his illusions.  As much as I do not look to see magicians, I can be entertained by them now and then.

All too soon, it was time to go to bed.  Although I have plans to see my friend for breakfast, I will be heading out to Catalina island to spend the day....

California Vacation - Day 04 (Sea Day)

 

My body is still functioning as if it were still in New York.  I awoke around 6:00 am, and found that I had fallen asleep watching a movie last night.  This was OK to me, as I was tired after roughly 4 miles of walking the day before.

Given that I was hungry when I woke up, I knew I wouldn't be ready in time to make it to the sit-down breakfast venues.  So, I ended up going to the buffet, where the food was good, yet had a mass-produced feel about it.  Hopefully, I'll get up early enough tomorrow to enjoy a breakfast in one of the main dining rooms.

- - - - - -

I didn't go straight back to my room after breakfast for some reason.  Instead, I walked the ship a little, looking to see if there was a ship's library. (I didn't find one.)  By the time I was done walking around, it was time for lunch - and I went to one of the sit-down restaurants and got a served meal.  Sadly, I made one mistake:  Instead of ordering the calamari as a small appetizer, I should have ordered a lunch sized portion.  It was that good.  While there, I met another couple, and we chatted about cruising for a while.  I handed the woman information about the Hawaii cruise I took, as well as giving her the info on the travel blog in which I make monthly posts.

Once done with lunch, I went back to the room to freshen up and do some reading.  Soon enough, 4:30 came around, and I prepared to look my prettiest for a formal night.  I was very glad that I had all the accouterments with me to present myself as an elegant, but heavy set lady in her 60's.  Realizing that my second specialty dinner reservation wasn't on the computer, I went down and got a reservation for 1 for 8:00 pm.  And I'm glad I did, as the food was yummy.  First was the Mussels Provinciale.  Then came the "Three S's" - Scotch Salmon, Sea Scallops, and Shrimp.  Although I was not too happy with dessert, it was not because it wasn't' good.  Instead, I was simply not in the mood for this flavor combination.  I'd have rather had only the ice cream that came with the dish.

- - - - - -

After dinner, I went to a show called "Rock Opera" in the main theater.  Although the singers were fantastic, it was not an opera.  It was opera trained musicians overdoing rock classics such as "Total Eclipse of the Heart" and "Sounds of Silence".  Too much background dancing, too much amplification, and too much strength in their voices.  There was no subtlety in the performance.  Yet, I found my feet tapping for most of the songs being sung.

When I arrived at my room, I found a bouquet of flowers.  Seems like my choice of the Princess Premier fare for this cruise gave me a willing raffle entry this trip.  This T-Gal certainly enjoys the flowers in the room.....

California Vacation - Day 03 (Cruise Embarkation)

 

I am writing this entry on the day I embarked upon my California Cruise.  Although nothing major went wrong, I have a bone to pick with Princess Cruises in regard to dining reservations.  But I'll get to that later....

This morning was the second day in a row where I woke up early, and couldn't fall back to sleep.  While I was getting showered and dressed, the bellman came to take my suitcase to the bus.  Well, I wasn't expecting him at this time, so I finished what I was doing, packed up everything I had left out, and went to the Starbucks upstairs to get what passed for breakfast.  Then, I settled down in front of the "logistics lady" (Princess outsources the logistics of moving people from the airport to the hotel, from the hotel to the cruise terminal, and from the cruise terminal to the airport.)  That's where I met the bellman again, and he moved my bags to the staging area, While sitting down, a widowed traveler struck up a conversation, and I talked too much - I could see she was bored.  So I let her be, and waited until it was time to board the bus.   

Around 10:45, the bus came, and both we (the passengers) and our luggage were corralled into the bus and delivered to San Pedro to board the ship.  I was prepared for the security line, and when the lady checked my passport, I said "Yes, that's me!" in a deep voice.  The next thing she did was to compliment me on my looks.  From there, it was a quick run to get on the ship, while taking forever to find an open elevator to get to my cabin - but I did, by moving to another elevator bank. The cabin surprised me with how much room it had for storage.  Yes, the bathroom seemed tiny.  But at least, the shower had a place I could put my foot while shaving my legs.

Now, this is where I got a little annoyed - making dining reservations.    I couldn't make them before getting on the ship, and the good reservations were impossible to get.  So I have to play catch as catch can, so that I can get a seat at a non-buffet restaurant.  AARGH!  At least, the main dining rooms are decent, and I don't mind eating alone that much.  But I'll have to see about one reservation that was supposedly to have been made - it still hasn't shown up online.  

By the time I finished dinner, I was too tired to go to the theater to watch the provided entertainment. I ended up going back to my room, stripped and fell asleep....

California Vacation - Day 01 (Arrival in Los Angeles)

 

Today was a day I'll remember for a while.  Not only did I have to finish packing (and I forgot a few things), but I had some experiences which were very enlightening.

- - - - - -

My plan was to finish getting ready for my trip, and catch a cab around 10 am to take me to the train station.  Well, I did just that, but forgot my "outdoor" glasses after I was halfway to the train station.  So, I asked the cabbie to bring me back home for a minute, and took the opportunity to pick up my glasses.  This detour cost me 15 minutes, but I was able to take the express train to Grand Central with all my luggage.

Before I go on too far, I have to mention that I have a carry-on suitcase, a 28" large suitcase, my CPAP, and a large personal bag in which I could stuff a lot of things if needed,  Since I'm travelling as Marian, all of my makeup, toiletry supplies and other needed items must me in the carry-on, and yet set up to go through TSA security.  So, I'm forced to wheel two heavy bags from one part of Grand Central (the original terminal) to another part (the LIRR addition) while getting some exercise in the process.  

Metro North deposited me near the escalators which connect to the LIRR zone, and I proceeded to buy a one way ticket to Jamaica ($5.50), where I would connect to the overpriced JFK Airtrain ($8.50) that would take me to Delta's terminal.  Once at terminal 4, I checked my bag and proceeded to TSA security where the first incident took place.

Lately, I've been finding that people seem to be treating me as a heavyset, tall, 60+ year old woman.  My presentation seems to be good enough that I am taken for a cisgender female much of the time.  So I was pleasantly surprised when the TSA agent said I was travelling with someone else's passport.  Once I opened up my mouth and spoke in a voice an octave lower than expected, he simply told me where to go to be scanned before entering the secure zone.

Two hours later, I was on the plane and headed to Los Angeles.  While on the plane, the flight attendant asked me if there was anything I wanted, and I said I'd like a winning lotto ticket.  This made her smile and we made some nice chit chat as two women would, but not as a man and a woman would with the same phrase.  She was very pleased to take care of my needs, and though it was purely professional, I have the feeling that in a different time and place, we'd have probably been good friends.

Once in Los Angeles, I met the fellow from Princess Cruises who took care of my bags and made sure that I got on the right shuttle bus to the hotel.  At the hotel, I was greeted by a fellow at the reception desk who was surprised to see me as Marian, but carrying Mario's ID.  We chatted, and he told me that he was also trans (showing me a picture of him in female mode).  However, he had to revert to male presentation, as his beard kept coming in with ingrown hairs.

- - - - - -

Tomorrow, I look for the people from Princess, as I want to make sure I know what the routine will be on Saturday morning when I take the bus to the cruise terminal....

I've finished packing, but am not ready to go....

 

I can only imagine what will happen if I forgot to pack anything important for my trip.  Right now, both my carry-on and large suitcase are virtually ready to go.  There are a couple more things that I will need to pack in the morning, such as my CPAP machine.  But I'll deal with that in the morning.

- - - - - -

This afternoon, I had lunch with SJM, and we talked a bit about everything.  I mentioned the tax headaches I had this year, and she mentioned her headaches in that area.  And then we got into the problems with the American medical system and how they are forcing her to make choices that she shouldn't have to make.  After that, we talked about the place where we both once worked, and noted that it was a mediocre place to work at best, that we are both better off for being out of the place.

Once I was finished with lunch, I got a mani-pedi before doing some last minute cosmetics shopping for my trip.  I can't seem to find the small perfume vials I bought a while ago, and this forces me to bring a full size bottle in my checked suitcase.  AARGH!  So many things I should have checked out a long while ago, and I didn't do so.  Such is life.

Tomorrow, I'll get dressed as a female and prepare to spend the next 10 days of my life as Marian.  It'll always feel strange presenting my legal (male) ID at the airports and at the cruise ports.  But I know from experience that TSA has no problem with this, and that the cruise line hasn't given me any problems with this in the past.

Let's hope that I haven't forgotten anything....

- - - - - -

On other matters, I have ordered some outfits from Universal Standard.  What bothers me is that the day after I placed the order, I got a 20% off code that I could have used for this order.  Given that I spent over $350 for 2 garments, I would have saved at least $60 had I known to wait for a couple of days.  AARGH!

Next, I placed an Amazon order for a few things I'll need when I get back from my trip, knowing that my next door neighbor will hold them until I return home.  Couple this with a Lane Bryant order I placed (two slips that I'll wear as nighties), and there will be a lot waiting for me when I get home - including credit card bills....

I've started packing, as I don't have much time left.....

 

Packing for my trips isn't always an easy thing.  Even at this late date, I might still need to pack a single day's worth of male clothing because I might be corralled into seeing my uncle's friend.  Although I doubt this will happen, I have to keep this possibility in mind.

- - - - - -

California weather at this time of year is similar to that of New York. But this means that I have to prepare for both cold and hot weather.  San Francisco can be quite chilly, while San Diego can be quite warm.  Yet, there are ways I plan to deal with this on a 9-10 day trip.  First, I will select basic clothing that I can wear for 2 or 3 times before needing to be washed.  Then, I will plan my auxiliary items, such as sweaters, that will allow the basics to be practical in a wider range of temperatures.

Packing for a trip as Marian has always proven to be a complicated task.  I have to make sure that I have two sets (1 pair for each day, plus 1 pair to hold my "tuck" in) of undies, 2 bras, and appropriate tops/bottoms, dresses and socks to get me through a week or more.  If I'm gone for more than a week, I have to think about washing my wig in the sink. 

As much as I'm no longer excited about taking this trip, I will take it anyway, as it is a chance to present as Marian for more than a week at a time.  It should be fun to visit Venice Beach and Santa Monica in my authentic presentation, and make my around using the mass transit available in this city....

By the time you read this, I'll have returned from a cruise

 

As most of my readers know, I write blog entries between 7 and 14 days before they are made available to my readers.  Soon, I'll be posting a record of my most recent California cruise which sails from Los Angeles to San Francisco, Avalon (Catalina Island, CA), San Diego, and Ensenada Mexico before returning to Los Angeles. When I decided on taking this cruise, I had hoped to visit my uncle in his Los Angeles nursing home.  Sadly, he died 11 days before the cruise.  Since it was way too late to cancel the cruise, I decided to go on it anyway - if only to have 9+ days in a row where I could present as Marian and not Mario.  

Right now, I plan to enjoy a full day in Los Angeles, not knowing what I'll be doing.  I've found that my cell phone has NFC, so that I can use Google Wallet to pay for trips on LA's mass transit system.  So, I won't be needing to use Ubers to get around in the daytime.  (I'll still need to use them at night, as I don't want to inadvertently travel through high crime areas after dark.)  For the times I'm near the hotel, I might bring a swimsuit, so that I can get a tan near the pool.

In many ways, San Francisco is like a second home that I stayed in for only a short while.  So, if I can, I'll visit the place where I scattered my late wife's ashes before returning to the cruise ship.  Catalina Island will be new to me, and I'm not sure of what to do there.  But, I'll be visiting RQS's cousin in San Diego.  This is something I look forward to, as this will be the first of RQS's relatives to meet me as Marian,

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this trip will bring me only pleasant memories.  I'll let you know when I start writing posts upon my return.

I now wish I hadn't booked an upcoming cruise

 

Before anyone gets any wrong ideas, I am still looking forward to my cruise.  But the conditions which made me select this cruise at this time have changed, and I would have preferred to be taking a different cruise with RQS later in the year.

But first....

My uncle passed away last night.  After 91 years on this planet, it was time for his soul to depart his body and travel into the unknown - whatever that might be.  He lived a long and successful life, having won more than one industry awards in a highly competitive and visible industry.  (Let's just say that you might have seen him win one of his awards 50 years ago, or so.)  He was always there for his family when he was needed, and I'll always be grateful for the assistance he offered when my wife was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

Last year, I chose to take a California Coastal Cruise, as a fallback if my uncle wasn't up to being visited.  Sadly, he had severely damaged his hip the autumn before, and it never healed enough to allow him to walk again.  (He fell trying to take care of a wife who was suffering with dementia, when his wife should have already been placed into a care home.)  When we visited Los Angeles last June, he had just been told that he'd never walk again.  With everything going on in his life at that time, I made it a point to try and visit him again while he was still above ground.  Today, I got the news that I was about a week or two too late.

Right now, the person in charge of my uncle's affairs has not made any arrangements for my uncle's memorial service/gathering.  I likely will not be able to attend this service if held before mid May, as my prior commitments preclude making any trips.  And, even if I could attend, I will not know any of the people who would be attending this service/gathering, as they are all industry insiders.

At least, there is one good thing to come out of all of this.  I will not need to bring along any male garments for my upcoming trip. (I'm sure that my uncle would have found a way to write a humorous story about this if he wasn't the person in the casket....)

By the time you read this....

 

By the time you read this, several things will have happened:

1. My taxes will be in the process of being prepared.
2. I will be in possession of my new car.
3. DCD will have started his process of getting the car registered in his own name.
4. I will have given RQS her birthday present.
5. My luggage will be opened, and packing will start for my California Cruise.

Of course, a lot of things will have happened in between then and now.  And you'll be able to read about them over the next few days.

- - - - - -

When I told my brother about my tax situation, I realized how much my brother wants to isolate my financial life from his.  I should mention that he wouldn't give me a recommendation for an accountant if I needed one this year, but would only help me file estimated taxes to buy a little time for me.  My guess is that if an acquaintance of his sees my returns, then they will have an idea of what a slice of my brother's life looks like.

Cleaning out my old car has helped me find things I had misplaced over the years.  One of these things was a canvas bag that I thought was in RQS's place.  Surprise!  It was in my car's trunk.  There was way too much stuff back there, and I'm glad that I am finally emptying it out.  (Guess what I'll be doing on Monday!)

Now that I have the information needed to get my new car on the road, I can give DCD the information he needs to start his process.  Hopefully, I'll have the old car out of my driveway soon.  If not, I know of at least one charity that takes donated cars.

Even though a bought theater tickets for RQS's birthday, I ordered a little something from Amazon for her to open up on the birthday itself.  Hopefully, she will like it.

And lastly, packing....   This will be a trip where I will spend one day as Mario and the rest as Marian. (I must visit my uncle while presenting as Mario.)  It's going to be nice to wear some warmer weather clothes for a change.  (I haven't worn a dress in California in ages, except while in transit to/from Hawaii.)  Since it will be Spring when I arrive, I have to bring sweaters (and a windbreaker) - especially for my time in San Francisco.  RQS's cousin knows I am trans, so it will be nice NOT to have to change into a pair of trousers when in San Diego....

Filling out paperwork for my next cruise.

 

A while back, I decided to buy stock in two cruise line corporations: NCL Holdings and Carnival corp.  Although both stocks have given me acceptable market appreciation, I may have gained more by taking advantage of the benefits that each shareholder can receive by filling in a form.  Today, I mailed out forms to give me $350 worth of cruise credits ($100 for my first cruise and $250 for my second cruise taken on Princess this year.)

Over the past couple of years, I have already received $500 of onboard credits from NCL and Carnival.   I expect that over time, these stock purchases will have paid for themselves in cruise credits alone.  The only reason that I didn't buy RCCL when I bought these stocks is that I didn't want to pony up $6,000 to own shares in a company whose products I don't use.  (I'm not knocking RCCL.  Instead, I simply didn't want to take the risk of investing this much money in a firm when I wasn't sure of when cruise line business would recover.)  All 3 corporations have performed well over the past 2 years, so I have nothing to complain about.

I am not addicted to cruising.  It is an inexpensive way to get away for a week or two and chill out.  I enjoy not having to drive when visiting a new city.  But I wish cruise ships spent more time in each port, so that I could see more of the associated city.  For example, last year's California Coastal cruise spent two days in San Francisco.  This gave cruisers a goodly amount of time to explore this great city.  This year's cruise will spend only one day in San Francisco, far from enough time to take in "Fog City's" beauty.

- - - - - -

When I first started making cruises a standard option for my vacations, my former cruise partner (FCP) encouraged me to go on these cruises as Marian.  The ships were good places for me to practice and develop my feminine presentation.  Given that I'd never see most of these people again, it didn't matter what these people thought of me.  I just had to be careful at which ports I'd get off the ship for shore excursions.

One of my next two cruises will be in Marian mode.  I can't wait to take it, although I'll be spending the day before the cruise as Mario when I see my uncle in his nursing home.  As for the other cruise, I'll be presenting as Mario for over two weeks.  You can bet that as soon as I get home from this cruise, that I'll rush to my closet to figure out what dress I'll wear the day afterward.....

An unexpected gift....

 

As my readers know, I enjoy cruising, both alone and with a companion.  But cruising can get expensive, especially when one wants to take bucket list trips such as cruising the Norwegian Fjords.  So I was pleasantly surprised to find that because I qualified for Social Security survivor benefits (I was married for 11 years, and was widowed at the age of 39), that I could get a payout on my late wife's account before converting the payments to come from my account.

Today, I received the survivor benefit payout, and I can now afford to take a cruise out of Los Angeles in the Spring.  Hopefully, I'll be able to visit my uncle before this cruise, as he doesn't have many years to go on this planet, and I want to see him while he's still (sort of) vertical.

- - - - - -

Now, the big question is: Where do I want to cruise to?  I can easily afford a 7-day California Coastal cruise.  And I can afford a 15-day Hawaii cruise.  But which one makes more sense?  That's the question I must answer soon, as I will miss having RQS with me even more if I were to take the longer trip.

Sad News, with more to come (eventually)

 

Today's post will be a short one.  But it involves sadness caused by a situation that I have no control over, and frustration because I have limited access to information.

As I have mentioned before, both my aunt and uncle are in nursing homes for the ailments of old age.  When RQS and I were in Los Angeles earlier this year, we were not able to see my uncle, as he was just told that he'd never be leaving the nursing home due to his frailness.  Today, I finally heard from my uncle, and he is in a bad way.

Last year, my uncle fell and broke his hips.  From what I can understand, he is not a candidate for hip replacement surgery.  All they could do is patch him up.  He has been in the nursing home since then.  When I spoke to him in December, he still had the voice of a man who would resume his life as soon as he was certified able to do so.  Of course, this time never came.  In June, I talked with him for 5 minutes, and he still had a tolerably strong voice.  But it was one weakened by circumstance.  Tonight, he could barely hear me on the phone, and his voice sounded like someone with no interest left in living.

He is depressed, in part, because he has no children, and because his nearest relatives live a continent away.  Neither my brother nor I can hop in a car to see him.  If we were to visit, he'd have to hop on a plane, spend at least one night in LA, and then fly home after the visit.  This is why I scheduled a California Coastal Cruise for this past June.  If he was unable to see us, we'd still have a great time on the left coast.

After our too short phone call, I called my brother to report on things.  My brother gave me another tidbit of information which I did not have.  And I asked him to relay my concerns to my uncle's agent, as I do not have the agent's name, nor do I want to be the point of contact for information regarding my uncle's affairs.  (Also, I feel that my brother knows more than he lets on, and doesn't trust me with anything.  But that's another story for another day.)  Hopefully, I'll get more information soon.  But I know that in the long term, it will only be bad news.  And I feel sad about things that eventually must come.

Having dinner with VW

 

Although the above looks nothing like the dinner I had tonight, it tasted as good as this dinner looks.  It's been forever since VW and I have gotten together, and it was nice to see her again after almost a year.

But first...

It's been forever since I've seen VW.  When it appeared that I had double booked dining dates with VW and TCL, I asked TCL to postpone things as it's harder to meet with VW than TCL.  Unfortunately, TCL and I have yet to find a good date where I can finally get together with her (as Mario).  So, I'll likely find a free weekday to meet TCL and have a long postponed "birthday dinner".

Back to VW and dinner...

The other day, I found a long missing dress safely stored inside a chest I plan to give away.  Given how much I love this dress, I was elated when I was able to show this dress to RQS - she thought it looked great on me when I dropped her off at the train station.  And I planned to wear it when I saw VW later on.

VW and I agreed to meet halfway between our two residences.  This meant that we'd meet somewhere in the Brewster vicinity, and I figured that I'd need 45 minutes to get there.  Around 5:30 pm, I put my dress back on, and drove to the restaurant to meet VW.   Just as I got to the restaurant, I got a call from VW - her GPS wasn't working, and needed directions to the restaurant.  Given that she took NY-22 most of the way, I gave her instructions on how to find the restaurant once in Brewster.

Since VW was going to be delayed for a few minutes, I decided to fill up my gas tank and fine tune the directions I gave her.  So, after I returned to the restaurant, I called her and told her how to complete her trip.  Shortly afterward, she arrived and we proceeded to order dinner. Although I won't discuss the topics VW brought up, I talked about RQS and our recent trip to California.  Soon, dinner came and we had a leisurely meal. Unfortunately, the service was even more leisurely to a fault.  It took forever for us to get our bill and to get our change.

Since we were the last people in the restaurant, we knew it was time to go home.  As we left the restaurant, I was reminded of why VW and I never made it as a couple - we both had the wrong baggage for us to be each other's match.  At least, we could be good friends....

California Vacation 2023 - Some Final Thoughts

 

As some of my readers might know, I chose to cruise out of Los Angeles, so that I could visit my uncle. When I originally planned this trip, my 90 y/o uncle was taking care of himself and his wife in comfort. Unfortunately, things changed since then.  In trying to care for my aunt, not setting limits, he fell and broke his hip.  Now, both my aunt and uncle are in separate care facilities, and my uncle was just told that he will never be able to live on his own again.  He was not in the right frame of mind for us to visit.

I'm glad that RQS and I scheduled a day of sightseeing in Los Angeles in addition to visiting my uncle, as neither of us thought that the day before the cruise was a wasted day.  Yes, we could have done more things if we had done more research.  But we accomplished a lot by visiting two museums and taking advantage of serendipity when we could.

We were both impressed by the level of service provided by Princess.  Yet, we were unhappy with the Princess App. The app was slow, and didn't always provide the information we needed. For example, when we needed to find out the hours for the main dining room, the app did not provide that  information.  When we wanted to find out what performers were in the main theater and the times of their shows, we could not find that on the app.  We were better served by reading the paper Princess Patter.  Not everything was bad about the app.  But Princess has a long way to go before the app can replace many of the things best done the old fashioned way.

This trip made RQS feel that we need to spend more time in California on our next visit.  Not only is San Francisco worth more than spending just two days there. But the same could be said for San Diego as well.  Only Los Angeles stands out as "a suburb in search of a city."  And who wants to visit a suburb when one can visit a city?

California Vacation 2023 - We're on our way!

 

The California Coast.  I haven't been here in a while, but surprisingly,  I wasn't feeling that great about taking this cruise.  My uncle might not want to see me.  I might not enjoy the visit to San Francisco. And RQS's cousin (in San Diego) and I might not get along.  So many things could go wrong, and I wasn't yet ready for this trip.

So it was with a little trepidation that I trekked off to RQS's place on the day before our flight.  I took the time to explain this to her, and she understood how I was feeling.  She was a little nervous, as she'd be leaving her 18 year old cat with the sitter for 10 days.  Even with these things on our mind, we were committed to this trip, and hoped to enjoy it, no matter what happened.

- - - - - -

The next day, it was off to the airport.  We got there a bit early and breezed through security, leaving us 2 hours to kill before the flight was to board.  When we checked our bags, we found that our seats had been changed.  Our plane was changed, and we were lucky to get compatible seat assignments to what we had on the original plane.  We boarded the plane quickly, accidentally cutting in front of the line. And this gave us the leeway to find space in the overhead bins for our carry-on luggage and my CPAP machine.  Given that we were told that there might not be enough space in the overhead bins, this was a stroke of good fortune.

About 6 hours later, we were in Los Angeles, and made our way to the hotel.  We found that by being a member of the hotel's loyalty program, we could get free wi-fi.  So I signed up, but the software wouldn't let me finish the demographic entry process.  This was a problem that the hotel's staff couldn't fix.  And this caused me to be charged for wi-fi later on.  (Mariott's Bonvoy software is crap, and I don't trust their programmers to get things right - avoid the chain and its partners if possible.)  

Being tired, we didn't bother to shop around for a restaurant, as there was nothing in walking distance of the airport hotels.  Instead, we ate at the hotel, and spent $120 for a dinner we could get at a local diner for $50.  You can guess how quickly we fell asleep after dinner....

By the time you read this....

 

By the time you read this, I will have both gone to a doctor to see about my persistent cough and have gone on my California cruise with RQS.  And I'll have much to report when I get back.

I'm not one who is comfortable going to new doctors, dealing with new procedures, etc. when it comes to my health.  So, it took a badly abscessed tooth to get me going to a dentist on a regular basis.  It took me almost getting pneumonia to start seeing my internist on a regular basis.  It took a former girlfriend to get me to see a sleep doctor. And it took a former friend to get me to see a dermatologist (who I should see again soon). As you can guess, I am nervous about going to the Doc in a Box today, and may write another post about it later on.

- - - - - -

Tomorrow, we'll be flying to LA for our cruise.  On our one full free day in LA, we intend to see my uncle, and then do a little of the tourist thing.  Unfortunately, many of the attractions will close at 5 pm, not giving us enough time to do more than one museum or attraction.  But then, I never loved LA.  Its sprawl befits the description, "LA is a suburb in search of a city." I prefer to be in a traditional city.

Afterward, we will go on our cruise and stop in San Francisco for a couple of days. In a way, this trip is our way of connecting with family on the West Coast. First, we'll visit the place where I scattered my late wife's ashes. RQS won't mind that, as I was with her when she scattered her husband's ashes. (Of course, we'll spend the better part of the two days in San Francisco doing the typical tourist thing.) Then we will sail off to San Diego, where we'll meet up with RQS's cousin for the day. And all too soon, we'll be home.

It's been hard to identify why I am ambivalent about taking this trip.  And now I think I've figured it out.  It will likely be the last time I see my uncle while he's alive.  It may be the last time I visit San Francisco and go where I scattered my late wife's ashes.  It may be the last chance that RQS gets to meet her older cousin.  In short, it's a trip with a set of "Lasts" that is giving me a sense of sadness before it begins.

- - - - - -   

A while back, FCP criticized me, saying that I had nothing going on in my life. (I take this slightly out of context, as I don't want to rehash old wounds.)  I think she'd now say that I have a life of my own. It's far from perfect, but it's my life and I'm living it.

RQS makes me glad that she's in my life.  Unlike Ex-GF-M, RQS is willing to try new things when with me.  She is willing to get a little lost along the way, and explore what serendipity brings to us.  Unlike XGFJ, she's willing to force the issue and make me tell her how I feel.  And unlike my relationship with Patty, our relationship is built on solid ground - we both feel secure.  It's a shame that it took me almost 25 years to find a relationship that really works for me. But as they say, "you've got to kiss a few frogs before you find a prince(ss)."  

Meeting up with a friend from the Census

 

When the above restaurant was split between two strip malls, as single slice pizza joint in one site, and a sit-down restaurant in the other site, I would always avoid going to the sit-down place when presenting as a female as I was a regular there in male mode.  However, when they consolidated operations in this place, they stopped serving slices and became a more classy, but casual, sit-down restaurant. The old staff went on to establish and manage other places, leaving this place open for me to be a regular while presenting as a female.

I met my friend while working the 2020 census, and we both had stories to tell each other.  No, I can't say that our stories were that exciting.  But we saw each other as peers, people with whom conversation flowed freely. And we kept in contact after our terms at the census ended. Although I can't say we're close (we don't reveal the types of intimate secrets that most women share), we have shared things that we don't want certain people to know. Both of us will soon be doing some distance travel, me to take a cruise and my friend to go to a wedding.  We'll have things to share when we get together next month. 

But why is this important?

Although it is harder for many trans people of my age to make friends because of learned prejudice, it is not impossible.  Many foreign born and younger people have fewer prejudices against us because, as I see it, they are also people trying to make their way in our American culture.  Hopefully, other trans people will successfully find their ways, not giving up on things....

If it weren't for things to do, I wouldn't get up - A short post.

 

Being a biological male, I have to deal with a problem.  Once one no longer has to go to work, one loses a reason to get up in the morning.  In my case, I could stay in bed for days at a time, if I didn't schedule things to justify getting up sometime during the day.  One of the things I try to do when I'm up is to think about future travel plans, as they give me a reason to keep getting up.

Lately, I've been trying to book as much travel as possible into my schedule, so that I always have something real to look forward to. Three trips are already scheduled for the year, and I am looking to schedule one or two more trips.  So far, I have trips to DC, California, and Bermuda planned, and may book a trip to the Bahamas by the end of the year.

The California and Bermuda trips will consist of 7 day cruises, and be on cruise lines (Princess and NCL) that I have both sailed on before and enjoyed very much.  However, if I book the Bahamas cruise, it will be on a new line, MSC, and I have heard mixed things about this cruise line.  The things that most people complain about are the uninspired food offerings. If I take this trip, it will likely be without RQS, as I'm not sure if she'd be ready to gamble more money on a trip she might not enjoy. As for me, it will be an opportunity to travel as Marian and relax a bit.

Right now, the Bahamas cruise is only something that keeps my mind busy.  And even if I never take that trip, it's a pleasant diversion....

I am now well insured - A short post

 

Could you imagine what these two people would have done with proper travel insurance?  Neither of these two people expected to be diverted to Oz, when they expected to land in Kansas.  Mind you, I'd rather be in Oz than in Kansas as it is more likely to find a "Rainbow Flag" in Oz, than in Kansas.  😀

- - - - - -

I'm lucky that I thought to have my Alexa unit send me reminders today.  RQS and I did not have travel insurance in effect for our upcoming Bermuda cruise, and we declined insurance on the California Coast  cruise we just booked.  So we figured that it was time to buy a yearly travel insurance policy than to pay for a policy each time we cruise or take a long distance trip. And both of us took care of this task today.

Now that I had taken care of this task, it was time to pay some bills.  Luckily, I had enough money in the bank to cover my bills and some to spare.  Given that I'll be taking a trip to DC and a California cruise before the end of Spring, I now have to think of moving money around to conveniently pay for my trips from a single bank account.  (I hate draining savings accounts, but realize that I need to do so to afford some of the trips I want to take.)

- - - - - -

Once done with bill paying, it was time to go out and try to get some Tuesday swag from T-Mobile.  Unfortunately, they had run out of umbrellas, so I had to settle for a pair of gloves.  Just as I was done with T-Mobile, the president of my co-op called, and we discussed a zoom meeting to be held with the owner of the management company the co-op uses.  

Next, was a call to my brother.  After my wife died, a girlfriend and I packed up place settings for 28 people. (My wife always wanted to have a gathering for her once large family, and bought way too many place settings.)  I told my brother that I'd drop down to see him later in the week, and pick up a few place settings that I can eventually use in my apartment.  These place settings (and other things like Gravy Bowls) may never get used.  But I think I'd like the option of using some of the place settings that my late wife spent so much money to buy, while giving the rest to a charity that I know well..

Now if only I can find a way to get rid of the stuff in the downstairs storage compartment, I'd feel a little better about bringing these place settings home.

 

A relatively quiet weekend with RQS

This weekend, RQS and I decided to go to the Eastville Comedy Club to see Janeane Garafalo.  RQS had gotten free tickets to the comedy club the week before, and we planned our weekend around meeting in NYC, then proceeding to Westchester for the next few nights.

As usual, I decided to park at Croton-Harmon for two reasons - I was leery of being late for a train, and there would be twice as many trains taking us home than would be if I parked at Cortlandt.  So, I caught a local train into the city, and made it to the restaurant a little bit earlier than expected.  RQS was comfortable with me meeting her in Marian Mode, and we ate out before the show at one of our favorite Indian restaurants, Ghandi Cafe, on Bleecker street. 

Around 6:45, we paid the bill and went to the subway for our trip to Brooklyn.  Luckily, the comedy club was in Downtown Brooklyn, a short distance from where RQS used to work.  We reached the place at 7:30, and sat down to wait for the comedy to begin.  The crowd came in, but the air conditioning didn't come on until the MC started with his gags.  So I wished I could have waited in another area until the room cooled down - which was 20 minutes into the show.  

Going to a comedy club is hit and miss at best for me.  I've found that most comics aren't that funny, and this Friday's performers confirmed my belief.  The MC was funny, but the second comedian lingered too long on a sexual act.  Then Janeane Garafalo came on, and we were bored by her rambling.  At least, she warned the audience about it before she started.  (As an aside, I had a short, pleasant exchange of words with her before I took a bio-break.)  It was a shame that I missed half of the next comedian's set, as he was the funniest of all.  At least the fifth person on stage was relatively funny, and we left for home after she finished her set.

The trip to Croton was uneventful, and we were both glad to go to bed - even if I had a hard time sleeping (as usual).

- - - - - -

Saturday came, and we were both very tired.  This was a day that I had planned to go to the bank, drop off a couple of donation bags, and then pick up some food for dinner at Uncle Giuseppe's.  By the time we got home, we weren't in the mood to do much.  But we cooked dinner and found some something lacking - there was no flavor in the sausage I had bought.  Given that a home cooked meal can be hit or miss, I'd call this meal as not even hitting the target.  Next time, I'll plan better.

- - - - - -

Sunday found us without energy.  However, we finally got all the financial details worked out for our California cruise and booked it.  (I'll bet that the travel agent thought we weren't serious about using his services until we booked with him.  He may have been burnt too many times by too many people comparison shopping, and wasting his time.)  Given that the only reason we are going to LA will be to see my uncle, we feel that using an Uber to get to a restaurant may be the best use of our money.

When the evening came, RQS suggested that I get dressed as Marian, and we went out for ribs.  Although RQS suggested Boston Market, thinking of the last time we wanted ribs and got an order of chicken instead, I suggested a nearby Chinese Buffet - and she loved the idea.  Two or three plates later, we were both sated, and ready for the bill.  She thought we had spent more for this meal than on Boston Market, I corrected her - we only spent $5 more (before tip), and got much more value in return.

- - - - - -

Monday came, and RQS had to go home.  I wasn't in the mood to go out as Marian on a rainy day, so I got dressed as Mario and reluctantly took RQS to the station to go home.  Arriving home, RQS said that her cats wouldn't leave her alone until they were fed - and that they both wanted her attention, as they probably missed her over the weekend....