The loss of a cat - a quick post

 

My cat died over 10 years ago.  And yet, I still miss her trying to be close to me.  Strangely enough, I feel sad because RQS just lost her youngest cat, a cat who rarely wanted to be friendly and only on its terms.

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From the time I met RQS, this cat never wanted to show any affection.  When I came near her, she would always hiss at me.  RQS told me that this cat was strongly bonded to her late husband, and tolerated RQS in her life when he passed.  Six years later, I met this cat, and learned that she was going to stay away from me, save for rare situations, and defend her territory with prejudice. Over the past year and a half, this cat got to accept me, and occasionally come to me to get stroked.  But it would only do so on its terms, and would run away after a short amount of affection was given.  So both RQS and I found it strange that the cat hid under the bed when her feeder came over the weekend.

I dropped RQS off at the station today, and she made it home without incident.  Our plans were for me to go to her place in the early afternoon tomorrow, and take this cat to the vet for hair trimming - she would not let RQS brush her hair, and the only way to keep the cat groomed (for its comfort) was to take it to the vet.  Well, RQS found the cat panting, and made an emergency visit to the vet.  The cat was sick, and the doctor gave RQS no assurances that the cat could be saved.  Sadly, this cat had to be put to sleep.

It's a sad thing.  I'll miss this cat, even though it wouldn't miss me.  Maybe, it was growing on me.  Who knows?  But I will be there tomorrow anyway, as I need to drop off some luggage for our upcoming California trip.  And I think that RQS will need me around to comfort her.

I brought TCL and RQS together for the first time - a short post

 

No, that is not RQS next to me.  Instead, this strong, silent critter  just made me want to show some affection for someone who is a little different.

But to be serious....

I've been trying to get TCL and RQS in the same place for a while.  But circumstances never permitted it.  Recently, I was able to schedule a shopping trip to New Jersey to take care of some errands for RQS, and then meet up with TCL afterwards to chat.  However, I had to make sure that I was presenting as a male 😞 for this meeting to happen.

First, RQS and I went to the pet store to buy some "pill pockets" for use this coming week when we planned to take one cat to the vet for its periodic fur removal. After that, it was off to Home Depot to get some blinds for her apartment. And then it was off to Dunkin Donuts to meet with TCL for coffee. Who knew that we'd be chatting for over 2 hours, until the shop had to close.  Now, RQS has seen TCL and understands how she can ramble on and on at times.  (I do it too, and have to watch out for when I do so.)

Later on, I received a text from TCL - she loves RQS and sees how and why we get along.  I'm sure that the two of us will be seeing her again soon.

Preparing for 2 cruises and looking forward to #3 (and maybe #4).

 

Towards the end of my tenure at the bank, FCP invited me to take a cruise with her, traveling as Marian.  It was a interesting experience, as I was outside of my comfort zone.  This would be the first of several cruises I would be taking as Marian, and something that accelerated my growth as Marian.

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Lately, I've been preparing for a cruise (as Mario) with RQS this fall, as well as preparing for a solo Hawaii Cruise (as Marian) later this year. To feel comfortable in the warm Hawaiian weather this winter, I've bought some informal dresses I could wear while there and look forward to wearing them on the cruise.

Assuming that all goes well on the first cruise, RQS and I may choose to take another cruise in the spring.  The main issue we think we'll have with this cruise will not be on the cruise itself.  It will be with her cats.  Will she have enough caregivers visiting often enough to feed her cats, clean their litter boxes, and show them some affection while we're gone?  This problem is one I dealt with after my cat died over 10 years ago by not adopting a new pet.  So I don't say anything negative about her cats, as I understand how they become family during their short lives.

I've been half-heartedly trying to convince RQS to take a specific Panama Canal cruise (a full transit through the historic locks) this coming spring, as it might be a last golden opportunity to see my uncle while he's alive. It's been fun trying to find ways to make this cruise into a more affordable reality (time and money), and it's something I should be able to afford next year.  RQS's issue with this is finding cat caregivers for the better part of 3 weeks, and I'm not sure if my brother (and his wife) are up to the task.  Luckily, this cruise will be offered for the 2024 season, and I may have a second opportunity to take this cruise. Hopefully, RQS and I will be able to do it together.

If we can't do the Panama Canal cruise due to RQS's time/cat caregiver constraints, we may take a 11 day Caribbean cruise.  This would be the second time I'd be in the area as Mario, and it wouldn't be as much fun as traveling as Marian.  Let's see what happens next.

Abuses of a law.

 

A while back, my co-op fought a losing battle with HUD regarding Emotional Support Animals (ESAs).  The way the law was being enforced, small "No-Pet" apartment complexes were victimized by people claiming their pets were support animals.  HUD even suggested that people allergic to dogs owning their apartments in co-op and condo complexes be moved to accommodate the needs of the person "needing" the support animal.  This is ludicrous, but it's the way the law functioned.  Since then, major airlines have banned many of these ESAs, as no one wanted to be near geese, miniature horses, etc. while on a plane.  But nothing has been done for co-ops and condos which do not allow pets for the health of ALL of their residents.

The following site mentions how to certify an emotional support dog: How to certify an Emotional Support Dog.  Although the site implies respectability for ESA certification, even they recognize that a mental health professional should be one providing an ESA letter. And here's where the fun starts.  How many people are going to do the research to prove that a mental health professional has had the person in therapy for a reasonable amount of time to justify writing the ESA letter.  When I dealt with HUD, the bureaucrat effectively admitted that there were few rules governing these letters.  Years later, I found that these letters were easily available online for a few minutes of on-line "consultation: and a fee of less that $100.

As much as I'd like to talk about current co-op affairs, I can not do so.  Yet, I can mention that HUD told us that we can't even require that the dog's owner identify the dog as a service animal because the "handicapped" person (my words, not that of law) could be discriminated against.  But what about the other people in an apartment complex?  Does this person's needs override others' property rights?  What about others' health needs?  Once people start seeing animals in the hallways, they will act as if pets are allowed.  And then, a No-Pet residential complex is opened up to pets via the back door.

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Years ago, I mentioned this situation to someone I know.  And she started making lots of noises in support of the animal owner.  (She fed raccoons on her porch.  Go figure.)  But shouldn't the rights of people who choose NOT to live with animals be respected?   Even in this group, most will support legitimate service animals for other residents.  One woman I dated is an epileptic who could die if she were to have an episode in her sleep.  Her service animal is able to sense an oncoming event early enough for her to wake up and take her medicines.  This is the type of animal I'm comfortable with in my complex, not the pet with another name....