I did virtually nothing, save walk 3/4 mile.

 

Buying 3 exercise dresses has motivated me to go outside and walk.  Yes, I wonder if people see this T-Gal as just a fat woman trying to stay mobile, or whether they see this T-Gal as a man in a dress.  Given that I'm comfortable going outside as a woman in outfits like the photo above, I do so - and no one seems to be batting an eyelash.

I've found that in order for my face to look more feminine, prop glasses (no corrective lenses) are a must.  If I didn't wear them, people would focus on the parts of my face where I don't want any focus.  (Could facial feminization surgery be in my future?  Only RQS will be able to answer that in a few years.)

Over time, I'd like to find an inexpensive yoga studio near me where I could go as Marian and no one batting an eyelash.  I've come close, but finding a studio has not been at the top of my priority list.  Yet, my goal is to get back to a size 20-22 within a couple of years.  To do that, it'll take diet, exercise and maybe a few shots of a GLP-1 agonist.

Today, I decided to take a walk at George's Island Park.  I've yet to find the official hiking paths there, but I have found a few vantage points from which one can enjoy views of the Hudson River.  It was a little cool for me to be wearing just this exercise dress.  Next time, if it is as cool as it was today, I will bring a jacket I bought from the active wear section of Lane Bryant.

After I left the park, I had a nice conversation with TCL.  And then I called my brother.  I needed to find out the exact spelling of the name my dad used on his passport, so that I can request a copy of his birth certificate.  New York City has to do a manual search on birth certificates which have not yet been digitized, as they are in the middle of indexing the entire physical database of vital records and the year of my dad's birth has not been indexed yet.  

Tomorrow, it will be dinner with a new meetup group.  Wish me luck!

Boy, did I need sleep! But I wouldn't have done too much anyway.

 

Given that my nails were done last week, I plan to stay in Marian Mode as long as my polish holds out.  That means at lease another week in comfortable dresses during this heat wave we're expecting this week. Although I may touch up my nails during the week, I figure that I won't have to remove my nail polish until the week after next when I meet with the sleep doctor.

- - - - - -

This morning, I got to sleep at 2:00 am, woke up at 7:00 am, went back to bed around 9:30 am, and finally got out of bed around 2:30 pm. If you add up all the hours of sleep, I probably got around 10 hours of good sleep.  RQS and I had a text conversation while she was on the train back to NYC, and I found out more details of a drive home that made me want to prevent RQS from ever being a passenger in a car that has that friend as a driver.  (Let's just say that Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder have much more common drivers' sense than this friend has when behind the wheel.

By the time I got out of the house, it was too late for me to stop by the Greek restaurant to find out whether I left a sweater there last week.  So, after a second call from TCL for the day, I decided to go to hell with myself and visit the Chinese Buffet.  This was a mistake for 2 reasons: (1) Temptation to eat too much, and (2) the food has gotten worse since the last time I visited the place.  I should have gone for pizza....

On the way back from the buffet, it was time to call RQS before she went to sleep.  We continued over voice the conversation we were having via text messages.  And then, we started to figure out which restaurant we'll be eating at when we go to NYC Restaurant week.

Did I do much of note today?  No!  But I did catch up a little on my sleep.  So I don't feel guilty.  Maybe I should feel guilty about buying a dress from Target and another exercise dress from Macy's.  Couple this with a pair of culottes from Universal Standard that will arrive tomorrow, and I will need to figure out what I want to prune from my closet and put in a donation bag....

Visiting TCL for lunch.

 

It's been a while since I've seen TCL.  She prefers to see me as Mario, and I try to schedule "Mario Days" as rarely as possible.  So, I scheduled a Mario Day, in order for her to feel comfortable wen I visited.

- - - - - -

As I've mentioned in this blog, I prefer to spend as much time as possible as Marian.  But, having spent the past holiday and a long weekend as Marian, it was time for me to go out in the world as Mario for a change.  And this was the right call, not only because of TCL's preferences, but because TCL had me assist her in both the search for a lost TV remote control, and in corralling her cat so he could be pilled.

But first....

Parking near the chosen restaurant gets very crowded by 1:00 pm.  This meant that I'd have to get to TCL's place by 12:30 pm, to be able to park near the restaurant.  We were able to find a parking spot and get inside the restaurant by 1:00 pm, and settled down to a nice, filling lunch.  In addition to the Chicken Gorgonzola, I had soup, salad, and an appetizer of Eggplant Rollatine.  Everything we ate was yummy, neither of us having room for dessert.  While eating, my meal was interrupted by a call from my sleep doctor's office.  Now, I have my appointment for a consult, which will be followed by another sleep test, and hopefully another CPAP prescription.

When we drove back to TCL's place, it was "the hunt for the lost remote control."  We moved chairs, sofas, side tables, and storage containers in this search - and I couldn't help but work up an unneeded sweat.  Eventually, we found the remote control and it was time to rest for a while before pilling the cat.  This wasn't has hard as it sounds, as her cat was totally under her control while it was fed its medicine.

Soon afterward, I had to go home.  I was glad to get out of her place by 3:30 pm, as traffic was starting to back up in Rockland county on the bridge approach.  Although I had planned to do 2, 3 and maybe a 4th load of laundry, I stayed in my air conditioned apartment and relaxed all evening.

Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

 

I can still remember the beautiful voice of Karen Carpenter singing a song with a line in the chorus going "Rainy days and Mondays always get me down."  And on Memorial Day, it was both a rainy day and a Monday.  But I wasn't as depressed as I could be, as I had company - RQS decided not to go home in the bad weather, and stayed over an extra night.

- - - - - -

What could be an old adage?  "We must be married.  We do nothing together."  In our case, we are so relaxed around each other, that we don't feel the need to rush out to find things to do.  Could this be a byproduct of getting old?  Maybe.  But I think it's more that we don't need to entertain each other all the time.

As I look through online store websites, I occasionally find myself saying: "Would this look good on me?"  Just like a woman, don't you think?  Well, when we occasionally shop together, I've found that we have both asked this question of each other when shopping in-person and online.  Recently, I asked her to critique two garments I bought from Universal Standard, and she approved of them.  She's confident enough in herself to be comfortable with me as Marian, and I feel confident enough in her that I can be in between gender presentations in front of her, such as when I take off my wig at home (or some garments) and have that awkward, "Half Dressed" look about me.

- - - - - -

On Memorial Day, RQS and I rested most of the day, and went out just as it started to pour.  The heavy rains didn't last long, but our drive did - much of it while chatting with TCL about nothing worth remembering.  After a quick snack, we decided to drive a little more before going home for a while, then out for dinner.

To be safe, I tend to avoid places in Marian mode that usually see me as Mario, and avoid places in Mario mode that usually see me as Marian.  So, we went to a pizzeria that I usually go to as Marian and enjoyed a large pie (of which I ate too much).  After this, we had nothing to do, so we went home and were in for the night....

This weekend flew by way too quickly!

 

I'm not going to say too much about this past weekend, save that it flew by way too quickly!

Friday came, and I picked up RQS in Marian mode, as it would be the only day I'd be able to present as a female until next week.  After a night's rest, we decided to go out and see Ennio, the documentary about the great movie score writer, Ennio Morricone.  RQS used to make jokes about this man's name (nothing nasty, just cute), but now she knows how respected he is in the music world.  If you haven't had the chance to listen to this man's music, you must be living in an impermeable bubble.  From scores for "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly" to "The Hateful Eight", Morricone has proven himself to be a composer in the same league as Bach, Beethoven, and Brahms.  So, if you can, see this documentary - it will open your eyes to the greatness of this man in the world of music.

Sunday was very different, as we met TCL for dinner in her neighborhood.  Yum!  What more can I say?  Only one bad thing I can say - the restaurant isn't closer to me.  We could have chatted a bit longer, but all of us were getting tired after 2 1/2 hours of chatting at the restaurant.  All too quickly, Monday came, and RQS had to go home.  I accompanied her to Grand Central, then departed to pick up my taxes. Now, I don't have to worry about this task anymore.  Yet, I missed seeing the eclipse.  That's not such a bad thing, as I'll have 20 years to prepare for the next one.

The day after

 

In many ways, yesterday was a day which I needed assistance to get what I needed to do done.  Today was very different.  I had the freedom to do what I wanted - even if all I wanted to do was rest.  And rest I did.

- - - - - -

Yesterday was the end of a disrupted sleep cycle for me.  Today, I caught up on most of that sleep, not waking up until noon.  For many of us that would be a weekend luxury.  But for a retired person, one has the choice on when to sleep and when to be awake.  And I find that being awake well into the night allows me to enjoy the peace and quiet that only occurs on the graveyard shift.

When I finally got moving, I wasn't sure of whether I should go to the bank on co-op business or not.  I'm glad I put this off until tomorrow, as there was another check I had to get cut -and I didn't want to get dressed as Mario unless I didn't have to do so.  This allowed me even more free time before going to a trivia night meetup being held at a local brewpub.

Around 5:45 pm, I decided to get dressed to go to the brewpub.  Although the weather was cold outside, I decided to wear a comfortable dress and head off to Ossining.  I'd never been to the Sing Sing Kill brewpub before, and was pleasantly surprised to find it across the street from the local police station. Given that Spring street has been the dividing line between Ossining's nice and not so nice neighborhoods, it was nice to know that Ossining's government and businesses are working to make the village a better place to live.

At 7:00 pm, trivia night started.  By 8:00 pm, I was starting to feel tired.  None of the questions were in any of my strong fields of knowledge.  Even so, our group finished in second place.  I was glad to be out of there by 8:30 pm, and began to wake up while talking to TCL.  After I got home, I chatted with RQS, and then fell out for a while.  I guess it will take a little while longer until my body's circadian rhythm is back to my "normal".

Now, I can talk about Christmas Eve and Christmas Day

 

Yes, I know that you'll be reading this post two weeks after the holiday.  But then, I don't want to announce to my readers where I am until after I've returned home.  The above picture was taken on a cruise I took in December, and didn't write about until I returned.

- - - - - -

RQS came up for Xmas weekend on Friday, and we went out for a bite to eat at the local diner shortly after she arrived.  Once we got home, I took care of a financial issue that had to be dealt with before the holiday, and then we went out to buy a gift for TCL and Pat (my former hypnotist), both of whom I'd be seeing on Xmas day. Saturday came, and we had nothing on the docket.  However, I decided to visit a friend who had a pop-up store nearby, and chatted with him for an hour before returning home.  As one could tell, the opening of the weekend would not be that busy for us.

Christmas eve came, and this meant that both of us would get dressed up to dine at Crabtree's Kittle House.  This restaurant is a place that many get dressed up for, and we fit in well with the place as we were dressed to the eights. (It's also a place where special meals run over $100 per, before drinks are included - but it's worth every penny.) I had the gnocchi as my appetizer, while RQS had the lobster bisque. RQS's first thought was that it looked just as appetizing as the lobster bisque in NCL's Le Bistro or Cagney's restaurants. And she was just as happy finishing everything in the bowl. For the main course, I chose the short ribs while RQS chose the salmon for our main courses, and we were well sated by the time dessert came.  And again, we chose different things.  I went for the heath bar cheesecake, while she went for the Boche de Noel.  At the end of the meal, we were sated and unable to think about food until the next morning.

Both of us took our time in getting moving on Christmas day, and didn't bother getting dressed until 3 pm.  By the time we got out the door, we were running late to see Pat - and didn't get there until 5 pm.  She was very happy to see us, and we all thought our visit had to end too soon.  About 5:45, we drove over to TCL's place to pick her up for dinner.  Although we were late, we had no problem getting a seat at a local Chinese restaurant, where we became "Honorary Jews for Christmas".  (See this article for more background.)  We all had the standard Chinese entrees, and I treated TCL to a belated birthday dinner.

Again, we ended up parting way too soon, and went home for the evening.  In the end, this was a nice way to spend Christmas weekend.....

Christmas Eve - Hoping that you will have a Happy Holiday!

 

By now I have been back from my Bahamas cruise for about a week.  More on that cruise after the holiday....

- - - - - -

Tonight, RQS and I are getting dressed up and going to a fancy restaurant.  It'll be nice to get dressed to the nines with her, and enjoy an elegant dinner.  I know that RQS enjoys seeing me presenting as Mario, but she indulges me by accepting Marian as well.  At least, she will get to see Mario tomorrow, when we go to TCL for an Xmas dinner.

Since I don't have too much to say, I'll see you after the holiday and catch up on what has been happening in my life.

Holiday Planning - a quick post

 

Holiday Season is here.  And this year, my plans were not as simple as they might have been in years past.  My niece and nephew will not be coming to New York this year, and this means that my brother will not be doing anything special for the holiday.  RQS has no family to visit, leaving my family and friends as her options for people with whom to share the holiday.  This meant that I had something special for us to do together, and find someone who was also alone on the holiday.

Our original plans were for RQS to come up to Croton, and we would find a nice place to eat on Christmas day.  However, most of the places we looked at were offering Christmas Eve dining, but not Christmas Day dining.  So we regrouped.  Instead of being in Croton, I'd go down to Queens and we'd have a special dinner in NYC, specifically a high-class Chinese restaurant. (We joked that we were becoming "Honorary Jews" for the day, as it is a custom for many Jews to eat Chinese food on this holiday.)  Though we had found such a restaurant, our plans changed again.  TCL had no place to be on Xmas, as she couldn't make plans early enough to afford visiting one of her offspring for the holiday.  So, RQS and I agreed to have a fancy Christmas Eve dinner at a local restaurant (with me presenting as Marian - I can't wait to get dressed up for this), and then visit TCL for a Chinese dinner on Christmas (with me presenting as Mario).

When will I get to see my brother?  Who knows?  But I expect that it may be after my next visit to RQS's place in Queens.....

I dilly dallied, and it saved me money!

 

RQS and I have visited the furniture store several times, and we've seen them selling the above sofa in the store for $2,699.  If I had bought it then, I'd  have had a net cost of roughly $3,500 after furniture delivery (and removal) charges, furniture protection add-on, and taxes.  Today, I saw the following information on the store's website for the sofa:

The $780 savings by buying now also result in an approximate $60 savings in sales taxes.  It's probably best that I drop the hammer on this sofa now than later.  However, this will likely force me to be in Mario mode one day this weekend - and I hate doing so.  But to save this kind of money, why not?  However, I now have to arrange the removal of my old sofa and the delivery of my new sofa within a 2 week period.  AARGH!  I hate deadlines, but it is something I have to deal with if I want to be sure that I can get this deal.

- - - - - -

Dilly-Dallying doesn't always save me money, but that's OK.  I've been seeing a car in my price range at a dealership 2 hours away from me.  It's almost too good to be true.  Will I jump on making a deal?  No.  I may visit and ask about the car.  But if they aren't interested in selling the car at the advertised price (without excessive markup), then the car will go to someone else.

TCL says that I am a little too frugal.  But I am careful, as I can't afford to waste funds I can't make up by earning a salary anymore.  So, it will be a hard decision for me when I finally drop the hammer and buy a new car.  At least, I'll have the money in my bank until I'm ready to spend it....

My late wife and I had a lot in common.

 

After my wife passed, and before I met RQS, I often felt that there would be no one who could fit well into my life.  In retrospect, it is obvious why several exes and I couldn't make things work.  Add my transgender nature to the normal complications of life, and I felt that it would be a fluke to find a woman who felt comfortable with my full and authentic self.  I felt like the woman pictured above - alone, but hopeful.

Yet, after a few conversations I've had lately, including a recent one with TCL, I started thinking of one of my wife's habits.  She was a clothes horse who never pruned her wardrobe.  I, too, am a clothes horse, but one who is pruning her wardrobe.  And some of the pruning efforts have shown me that in my haste, I might get rid of things I really wanted to keep.  To give the pruning process too much thought can result in paralysis - something I've experienced when the contents of my apartment reached a critical mass.

A while back, XGFJ helped me get some order in the corners of my bedroom.  This order was lost during the pandemic.  Lately, RQS has helped me go through the clothing I accumulated and quite a few donation bags have been delivered to a local charity.  Yet, when I look at my closet, I am still finding clothes which are eligible for the next donation bag.

I'll bet that my late wife would be laughing if she could see me today.  She had clothes hanging from the molding over the doors and closets, and I have done the same thing on occasion.  Like her, I accumulated way too much, and couldn't muster enough energy to get rid of the things I no longer need, want or use.  Unlike her, I've had assistance in getting this place into order.

Would she have felt comfortable with me wearing dresses outside the house?  I'll never have the answer to that question.  Would she be comfortable living with someone who was "out"?  Again, I'll never know.  But I do know that she coped with life the best way she could, and wasn't able to reach out for the help she needed when she needed it.  Hopefully, as I get older, I'll know where to find help and be able to get it when needed....

Taking care of business (part 3)

 

A week ago, electricians came to the apartment to remediate issues caused by the aluminum wiring in my apartment complex.  Not dealing with this issue would increase the possibility of a fire, and our insurance would not cover us until this work is complete.  Today was the second visit from the electricians .  However, this visit was to deal with outlets behind my bed and dressers that couldn't be reached on their first visit.  To get to these outlets, I had to dump lots of stuff into bins and boxes to get it out of the way (to be sorted out later), so that the furniture could be moved to access the outlets.

In the process of moving furniture, I found a lot of stuff that had fallen behind the dressers and bed that was too hard to get at in normal circumstances.  Once things are back to normal, I will sort through everything I put into bins and boxes to determine what stuff to keep and what stuff to trash.  This is something that everyone should do every few years, and it's been almost 30 years since I've done this because furniture movement is a daunting task for me these days.

- - - - - -

The electricians were supposed to be here at 9:00 am.  By 9:30, I was getting concerned that something was screwed up, as I had no notice of any problem.  So I did two things in parallel: Write an email to the co-op's managing agent to notify them of the problem, and to call them immediately afterward.  Obviously, I got someone's attention, as within 15 minutes, I found out that the electricians would be here within a few minutes.

When the electricians arrived, they were apologetic - they had come off of an emergency call (the electric had gone out in half of a person's house in White Plains), and couldn't make it back to me on time.  They were also surprised to find out that I hadn't been notified of the problem, as I would have been less anxious and annoyed at having to wait longer than expected.  Within 30 minutes, they had finished work on all 3 of my remaining outlets, furniture was back in place, and I was able to relax and take a nap.

- - - - - -

What I haven't mentioned about today was that I didn't get much sleep the night before.  So, when TCL called to tell me that she wasn't feeling well and couldn't do lunch today, I was a bit happy that this happened.  We can schedule lunch for when I'm more rested and awake....

Preparing to finish up the electrical work

 

This is how I'd like to stay on a Monday morning - comfortable in my bed, catching a couple more hours of sleep after the sun has come up.  But this will not be the case, as I will have to wake up and get dressed as Mario, and then move furniture around while the electricians finish up their work in this apartment.

The first go-round with the electricians wasn't as bad as I thought.  Yes, I moved a lot of furniture and sweated because they didn't turn on the AC when they could have.  But, it was over in less than two hours. And I see a way, that with a small amount of effort on my part, that they could be out of my place in less than an hour.  That will leave me the time to meet with TCL for a long delayed lunch, and maybe have time in the evening to do something else.

There has been a benefit to all of this work.  I've been forced to clean up my place enough to get access to all of my electrical outlets.  Next, I will need to get things clean enough to have visitors (other than girlfriends) come to this apartment for the first time in years.

- - - - - -

 

Now that I can see this apartment's progress towards being a welcoming place to have guests, it is time for me to look at buying a new sofa.  I have the sofa picked out, and I'm waiting for the expected Labor Day sale.  After trying out this sofa on 3 visits to the furniture store, I will be in Mario mode when I eventually purchase it.  

Once I've purchased the sofa, I'm looking at buying a new coffee table.  Gradually, I want to make my living room a place where I can be proud to have my friends visit if invited.  Yet, there's a part of me that would rather get together outside of the house, as I'm so used to NOT having people over here.

- - - - - -

After 40 years in one place, one accumulates a lot of unused stuff.  The Swedes have a word for what I'm doing: Döstädning, which means "death cleaning."  It is not a morbid concept.  Instead, it is a way of justifying the removal of clutter from a person's abode, so that the person can live a more happy life. I also like the Danish concept of Hygge, Pronounced "hoo-ga," this Danish concept cannot be translated to one single word but encompasses a feeling of cozy contentment and well-being through enjoying the simple things in life.  Recently, I have learned that the Swedes have a word for something I've striven for. Lagom is a Swedish word that roughly translates to "just the right amount" in English. Pronounced 'lar-gohm,' this term is more about frugality and striking a balance in your daily life between work and relaxation.

Throughout my 40-year career in technology, I found that I was living a life out of balance, a life that was not cozy, and a life that isolated me from others.  Now that I'm retired, I've found that I want something more out of the rest of my life - a connection to others, a feeling of comfort when at home, and being comfortable in my own skin.  In short, I want just the right amount of the things I enjoy in life, so that the rest of my life will be more enjoyable than the years before.

I tell people that it's not who has the most things when s/he dies wins.  Instead, it is who has the most rewarding experiences when s/he dies wins.  One can't take things into the afterlife (unless one is an Egyptian Pharaoh.)  But one can enjoy life to the fullest.  And if there is something afterward, those experiences will be what makes us rich.

Having dinner with VW

 

Although the above looks nothing like the dinner I had tonight, it tasted as good as this dinner looks.  It's been forever since VW and I have gotten together, and it was nice to see her again after almost a year.

But first...

It's been forever since I've seen VW.  When it appeared that I had double booked dining dates with VW and TCL, I asked TCL to postpone things as it's harder to meet with VW than TCL.  Unfortunately, TCL and I have yet to find a good date where I can finally get together with her (as Mario).  So, I'll likely find a free weekday to meet TCL and have a long postponed "birthday dinner".

Back to VW and dinner...

The other day, I found a long missing dress safely stored inside a chest I plan to give away.  Given how much I love this dress, I was elated when I was able to show this dress to RQS - she thought it looked great on me when I dropped her off at the train station.  And I planned to wear it when I saw VW later on.

VW and I agreed to meet halfway between our two residences.  This meant that we'd meet somewhere in the Brewster vicinity, and I figured that I'd need 45 minutes to get there.  Around 5:30 pm, I put my dress back on, and drove to the restaurant to meet VW.   Just as I got to the restaurant, I got a call from VW - her GPS wasn't working, and needed directions to the restaurant.  Given that she took NY-22 most of the way, I gave her instructions on how to find the restaurant once in Brewster.

Since VW was going to be delayed for a few minutes, I decided to fill up my gas tank and fine tune the directions I gave her.  So, after I returned to the restaurant, I called her and told her how to complete her trip.  Shortly afterward, she arrived and we proceeded to order dinner. Although I won't discuss the topics VW brought up, I talked about RQS and our recent trip to California.  Soon, dinner came and we had a leisurely meal. Unfortunately, the service was even more leisurely to a fault.  It took forever for us to get our bill and to get our change.

Since we were the last people in the restaurant, we knew it was time to go home.  As we left the restaurant, I was reminded of why VW and I never made it as a couple - we both had the wrong baggage for us to be each other's match.  At least, we could be good friends....

I may be going to a "Doc in a Box" tomorrow

I haven't been feeling well for a little over a week.  First, I felt that I was getting over a very mild case of the flu. And when I felt better, a cough set in that won't go away.  So, I will likely go to a local "Doc in a Box" before trekking down to RQS's place later in the day.

- - - - - -

It's frustrating when one has too much planned for a day, and then lets an important thing slip.  In my case, I was concerned that I wouldn't be able to be back on time to start the co-op board meeting, especially when vendors were calling in from 3 pm onward.  So I put things off, and will need to deal with this persistent cough tomorrow morning.

Luckily, the co-op board meeting went well.  We got much more done than usual, because we had done a lot of the leg work beforehand.  We also took a more active part in vendor selection than we had done in the past - and we now are reasonably sure which vendor we will use for work scheduled to start in the Summer. In addition to interviewing prospective vendors, we interviewed a prospective buyer.  In this case, we were unable to come to a decision, as there were complicating factors to be considered.  So when in doubt, ask for more information and see what shows up.

By the time this overly long meeting ended, my coughs were bothering me.  Even TCL said that I should have seen a doctor today when she called, and RQS recommended that I make the Doc in a Box my first stop after I get up tomorrow morning.

Keep your fingers crossed for me....

I brought TCL and RQS together for the first time - a short post

 

No, that is not RQS next to me.  Instead, this strong, silent critter  just made me want to show some affection for someone who is a little different.

But to be serious....

I've been trying to get TCL and RQS in the same place for a while.  But circumstances never permitted it.  Recently, I was able to schedule a shopping trip to New Jersey to take care of some errands for RQS, and then meet up with TCL afterwards to chat.  However, I had to make sure that I was presenting as a male 😞 for this meeting to happen.

First, RQS and I went to the pet store to buy some "pill pockets" for use this coming week when we planned to take one cat to the vet for its periodic fur removal. After that, it was off to Home Depot to get some blinds for her apartment. And then it was off to Dunkin Donuts to meet with TCL for coffee. Who knew that we'd be chatting for over 2 hours, until the shop had to close.  Now, RQS has seen TCL and understands how she can ramble on and on at times.  (I do it too, and have to watch out for when I do so.)

Later on, I received a text from TCL - she loves RQS and sees how and why we get along.  I'm sure that the two of us will be seeing her again soon.

A day to myself (sort of)

 

“Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

- Ferris Bueller 

 

- - - - - -

Today was one of those days that I did almost nothing ...at first.  But once I got moving, I was able to take care of an errand related to last night's overflow and take care of some food shopping I needed to do this weekend.

Lately, I've been hanging out in my apartment when I have nothing outside to keep me busy.  Friends have had to reschedule dinners, leaving days open for me that I couldn't fill with meaningful activity. And that gave me the freedom to take care of an emergency laundry run, cleaning the bath towels I used to sop up last night's mess.

When I started my laundry, I decided to walk outside to see if the neighbor's car was in the driveway.  It it was, I'd likely have nothing to worry about from them in regard to last night's problem.  But it wasn't there.  So I figured that I'd bring this up when I see them next, as I'd rather take care of things myself than to get the co-op involved.

After my laundry was done, it was time to go to Walmart to pick up a few things.  While in Walmart, TCL called.  I returned her call once I got out of Walmart, and chatted all the way to the nearby Stop & Shop. And that's where I bought food for the beginning of the week, so that RQS and I do not have to go out to eat as soon as she comes here on Monday.

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One thing I've noted lately is that I often do not have much to say.  I find that I'm healthier not having one former friend in my life, as her problems occasionally took on a life of their own in my head.  That's something I don't need at this stage of life.  I have enough on my plate, and it's enough to bore some people to sleep. 😉

 

Seeing another friend for dinner

 

RQS knows that I have more female friends than male friends, and most of them know me as Marian, even though they know of Mario's existence. Today, I visited one of those friends.

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RO and I have known each other for several years.  We once dated each other, but things didn't work out. When we stumbled across each other a few years later, we developed a friendship and kept in loose touch with each other.  I had my relationship with XGFJ while RO got married to a nice gentleman.  

The last time I met RO in person was last September.  Neither of us realized how long it had been, as both of us had been busy living our lives since then.  RO has retired, while I have taken 3 cruises, as well as a trip to Washington, DC since then.  So we had a lot to catch up on over an early dinner at the same Italian restaurant we've eaten at before.  Both of us have the ailments that come with getting old, and I was reminded of why things didn't work out between us. (I didn't want to be with someone who would have similar health problems as Ex-GF-M was having, and Ex-GF-M's death proved me right.)  Yet, we could be good friends, especially given that RO is a warm and caring person.

All too soon, dinner had to end, and I had to drive home. We agreed to eat at Fuddruckers down the road a piece.  Neither of us like dropping $75 on dinner when we're living on a budget.  So next time, dinner will be much more affordable, and much more casual.  And for me, this will be the first time I will be eating at a Fuddruckers since the last of the New York State (New York City region) restaurants closed years ago.

Considering that I wanted to look at some clothes at Lane Bryant, I took the long way back home through Paramus.  While on the road, I told TCL about another dress store that RQS and I have visited: Karina Dresses. And she looked up the dress pattern that made me think of TCL when I saw it.  Sadly, the dresses were not available in her size for the fabric pattern she liked.  But she will keep an eye on the site for future dresses she might enjoy wearing.

When I got to Lane Bryant, I tried on a couple of dresses.  One was in a pattern and style I liked, and if I didn't have one being shipped to me soon, I would have bought it at the store.  The other left a lot to be desired.  So I left those dresses at the store, and went home for the evening.

Seeing TCL for Dinner

 

If I had had my choice today, I would have gussied myself up before seeing TCL for dinner.  But today was the second drab day of the weekend, and I felt that TCL would be happier if I met her as Mario.

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Like yesterday, I didn't do much until I had to get moving.  But I did get to TCL's place on time for a change.  And this was for the best, as the restaurant we went to was empty when we got there, but packed when we left.  

TCL lives in a nice little town in New Jersey, her house being less than 1,000 feet away from the local railroad station.  If the railroad wasn't there, we could have walked to the restaurant.  Instead, we had to drive 1/2 mile to reach the place.  (This is not a problem for us.)   On the way there, she mentioned the purchase of an undergarment to be worn in case she might get "lucky".  (This is something you'd say to a good friend, and she made sure I knew that it was for a "someone else" if he came along.)  I already knew that she had no intentions towards me, and I let her know that, so she could feel more comfortable after saying that.

A minute later, I parked the car at the restaurant. As expected, the place was empty, and we were seated at a nice table, where we proceeded to have a nice Italian meal with some red wine. (The place is BYOB, so TCL has taken care of the wine when we go to this restaurant.)  By the time we left, the place was packed with at least a dozen people waiting by the door. And then, it was the short drive home. 

We chatted in the car for about 45 minutes, and then she had to go in and I had to go home.  I was amazed that she didn't make a comment on my newly pierced ears.  But then, she was focused on something else - how to tell someone something without making that person feel awkward.  I gave her some ideas on how to approach discussing the topic with her friend, and hope she refines them into something she finds she can use for herself.

This was going to be a busy weekend

 

The old fashioned calendar. If my generation had one or two things scheduled for the day, we'd write them inside one of the boxes that corresponded to the date of the event(s).  If we had a lot of things scheduled for the day, we'd have a daily schedule book with hourly lines in which we'd enter our appointments.  Right now, I have things scheduled for every day that RQS will be away, and I wish I had made more time for myself.

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Thursday was reserved for seeing one of my TG friends for dinner.  She's more of an acquaintance, but someone I enjoy seeing now and then.  If it's possible, RQS and I may attend this woman's party next week. The way things look, this could be the only opportunity I have to present myself as Marian this week, as I'll have to be out as Mario on Friday and Saturday.

Friday was reserved for seeing FH for dinner.  It has been months since I've seen her, and it will be interesting catching up on things.  Part of me is hesitant to do so, even though RQS is aware of this.  No, nothing will come of it, but I think my ambivalence is that FH is not a person with whom I want to have too close a friendship.

Saturday was reserved for seeing TCL.  It's been a long while since we've been together, and I'm not in the mood to skip seeing her again.  With this being said, friends from Yonkers game nights will be going to a comedy club at the same time - and I will miss being with them.

Sunday is a day that I'll have mostly to myself.  Assuming I wake up early enough, I'll be attending church as Marian.  Afterwards, I may go into NYC to see an off-Broadway play.called: "Welcome to Clown Town."  The following citation from the play's website made me interested in going to see this performance:

A solo performance that dives into the bizarre and cantankerous mind of Pixie the Clown. Part birthday party, part therapy session, this live show shares the real-life tales of being a party entertainer in America.

Picture this: the audience rolls into a seemly delightful birthday party filled with bright colors and balloons. The sounds of children laughing with glee are heard as Pixie rolls onto center stage. With her sweet smile beaming, she pops a balloon with a hint of murderous rage: "Awwww, may it rest in pieces". This begins the rock 'n' roll ride through outlandish personal stories of working as a party clown in NYC and Hollywood.

Join Pixie/me in our NSFW immersive experience, as I spit stories (like the time I was run down by gang members) while playing fun party games that consenting audience members can participate in!

This mad-capped adventure blends oral storytelling about a Latina just trying to make ends meet with Pixie the Clown's irascible inner monologues about how to change the world.

The phrase "AWWWW, may it rest in pieces." was what caught my interest. And with my unusual sense of humor, I planned to go to the last performance of this show.  Since I'll have gone to church as Marian, I'll be taking the train into Manhattan as Marian as well.  It'll be nice to start the week off right!

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By the time you read this, everything on the schedule will have already passed.  I'll write more about the weekend as things progress....