Lunch with a friend, and a lost credit card.

 

I really didn't think I'd want to get up this morning, so I made sure to set several alarms to get me moving in time for lunch.  Each month, a friend of mine from the census gets together with me and we have lunch at a nearby restaurant.  Today was no different, save that I was a little bit "off".

Considering that it was finally too cool for me to wear my summer dresses.  So I had to pull out something a little bit warmer to wear - a long sleeved blue dress with matching blue tights.  Although it's been forever since I put on a pair of tights, I felt comfortable, knowing that my "junk" was safely tucked and would stay in place during the meal.  (Soon, I will be wearing my Fall/Winter wardrobe exclusively, and I will miss the comfort of my Summer wardrobe.  But I digress.)  Once dressed, I was out the door, and at the restaurant only a few minutes late.

Not seeing my friend's car, I knew to walk into the place and look for my friend - who was sitting by the front door.  However, we ended up moving from our original table, as it was too loud where we were.  So we took our napkins, utensils, and menus and proceeded to the back.  And this was much more comfortable than where we were first seated, making it much easier to chat without a lot of the noise being made up front.  For the most part, our chat was mostly about the trips we took and the trips we were about to take. So, I won't mention much here.  But I was uncomfortable, as I felt "off" from the time I got up.  As a result, I was glad when 2:30 came around, and we bid each other farewell.

With lunch being done, it was time to fill my car with gas.  And this is where I noticed that my Exxon card was missing.  Normally, I keep it with my cell phone, so that I can use it in either gender presentation.  But it was gone.  So I proceeded to the BP station in town and filled up there.  From there, I went home and filed a missing card report.  Dollars to donuts I'll find the old card before its' replacement comes in....

The high point of my day would be an evening Zoom Meeting

 

Yesterday, I did some serious "damage" to the clutter in my living room/dining room areas of my apartment.  Today, it was time to toss out all the garbage, rearrange things, and finding homes for things displaced from their previous storage spaces.  After yesterday, I didn't need any strenuous work, and I made sure not to do any.

So, I did a little bit more decluttering work, putting books in donation boxes, and others into the remaining bookshelves that I have in the apartment.  Yet, for the most part, I wasted time during the day, and I didn't get showered, dressed and out of the house until 6:15 pm.  And it was time to get something to eat before my zoom meeting.

At the diner, I was served by a woman who was the spitting image (and voice) of someone I worked with several years ago.  I knew that she was a doppelganger for my former coworker, as my coworker lived on Staten Island with her husband.  There was no way that she'd leave project management to be a waitress.  But I'd have loved to ask the waitress about her ethnic origins, just so I could ask if she had a doppelganger relative from the Philippines living in the USA.

All too soon, I had to rush home for my zoom meeting.  (The picture above is how I appeared before everyone started signing on to the meeting.)  I can't wait for all of us to meet in Chicago in two and a half months' time.  Four gals on the town in the big city - we won't have enough time to do it all on this trip, so we may have to schedule something for next year soon....

Meeting up with a friend from the Census

 

When the above restaurant was split between two strip malls, as single slice pizza joint in one site, and a sit-down restaurant in the other site, I would always avoid going to the sit-down place when presenting as a female as I was a regular there in male mode.  However, when they consolidated operations in this place, they stopped serving slices and became a more classy, but casual, sit-down restaurant. The old staff went on to establish and manage other places, leaving this place open for me to be a regular while presenting as a female.

I met my friend while working the 2020 census, and we both had stories to tell each other.  No, I can't say that our stories were that exciting.  But we saw each other as peers, people with whom conversation flowed freely. And we kept in contact after our terms at the census ended. Although I can't say we're close (we don't reveal the types of intimate secrets that most women share), we have shared things that we don't want certain people to know. Both of us will soon be doing some distance travel, me to take a cruise and my friend to go to a wedding.  We'll have things to share when we get together next month. 

But why is this important?

Although it is harder for many trans people of my age to make friends because of learned prejudice, it is not impossible.  Many foreign born and younger people have fewer prejudices against us because, as I see it, they are also people trying to make their way in our American culture.  Hopefully, other trans people will successfully find their ways, not giving up on things....

A day where only one thing went right

 

I had only two things on the docket for today: (1) Lunch with my friend from the Census, and (2) going to NYC to see an Off-Broadway play.  Only the first thing went off as planned.

- - - - - -

My friend reminded me of our lunch date early in the week, and I would have forgotten it if she had not reminded me.  So I was glad to see her again for lunch at the local pizzeria.  For the most part, my friend dominated the conversation. We caught up on many of the things going on in each others' lives. And we finished at the right time - just before we would have stayed too long.

After lunch, I decided to stop by the local LGBT center to say hi to a couple of the "permanent" employees there.  Unfortunately, they were busy in a meeting.  So I waved hello, and left as quickly as I got there.  And then it was off to Lane Bryant to browse the dresses they had in stock.  Again, things didn't go as planned - the one dress I was looking for was not stocked in the stores.  So I'll have to order it online, and return it if I don't like it.

At this point, it was time to go into NYC to see Welcome to Clown Town.  Though I made the commuter train on time, I lollygagged when dealing with the subway and dinner - and missed the play because I got the starting time wrong.  (Luckily, RQS and I will be going to see the play on Sunday afternoon.) So, it was back home as quickly as I came into NYC.  For the most part, I could have gone home after lunch and done something productive.  But, I took it all in stride - sometimes, fortune gets in the way of life, and all one can do is avoid the worst of things that could happen.

Taking it easy....

 

Soon, RQS and I will be seeing this sight as we depart from New York on our Autumn cruise.  The big question I will be asking myself is: How much "Alone Time" will I need in this relationship?  I've found that I get tired of having the same people around me after a few days, and this was likely a factor for me in my breakup with XGFJ - I needed time apart from her more often than I told her.

I opened up with this thought, as I started to wonder how well RQS and I will get along on a 10 day cruise.  We will likely be OK, but I have minor worries about it.

- - - - - -

Today was a good day for me, though most of my plans went sour.  My niece and I were able to connect with each other via Zoom, and we were online for an hour chatting about things in general.  Now that I know that she prefers the use of one communications tool, we can schedule Zoom meetings at will and keep in touch.

My niece is glad that she's in England right now, and loves the early Autumn weather they are having.  Soon, winter will come, and she'll be flying back to the States with her husband.  (This assumes that her passport gets renewed before their trip. She has an expired US passport, and will need it renewed for her return.) I told her of my plans to visit sometime in the next couple of years (in Marian's female gender presentation) and she noted that I shouldn't have any problems with it when I visit.  This is a good thing, as I find it more comfortable for me to dress as Marian instead of Mario.

Although I ran my mouth at a mile a minute, we had a good chat.  Hopefully, we'll be doing it again soon.

- - - - - -

I was supposed to speak with my former student clinician for my speech therapy.  She has delivered her baby, and is up to her eyeballs taking care of her infant. So we haven't had much time to chat in a long while.  The same goes to a lesser extent for KM, a woman I used to work with at the document imaging firm.  Although I was supposed to speak with both women, it was just as well that I didn't - I was in the mood to be alone.  In many ways, I was like Greta Garbo in saying: "I want to be alone." 

As you can guess, being with people was the furthest thing from my mind today....

Two people I haven't seen in ages

 

By now, my readers must know that I am an unreformed Marxist - Marx Brothers, that is....  

I haven't seen DCD or Rose (a woman I used to work with) in ages.  DCD is taking a hiatus from living with his girlfriend, and DCD was up in New York visiting friends/family before returning to her home in North Carolina.  And I didn't recognize either at first, because of how different they looked the last time I saw them in person.

DCD is recovering from an operation, and there is a form of depression that has set into his life.  I won't go into any details, but his life has been a shit storm for the past few years and nothing seems to be getting any better for him.  Right now, he has a job that will start in May, but no car to get to that job. (Again, I won't go into any details on this either.  But I will say that he admitted that his pigheadedness caused the problem which will likely end his car's life.)  I'm rooting for DCD to continue his recovery.  Yet I can't help but think that his illness will eventually claim his life.

We met at a Chinese restaurant in White Plains, instead of the Japanese place DCD suggested.  Aberdeen is one of the better places for dim sum in the area, and I rarely have the chance to go there these days..  A few minutes after we sat down, Rose came in.  I didn't recognize her for sure, so I didn't go over to her table to say hello.  Given that it was over 10 years since I've seen her, both of our bodies have changed a bit.  Rose's face became more matronly, and her body expanded to look like that of a well fed Italian Grandmother.  When both of us finished our meals, Rose stopped by to say hello.  Not too much to say, save that she moved to North Carolina.  If I had the chance, I would have told her about my former coworker Frank, who suffered with terminal cancer while working and died 1 year to the day after he was laid off.  I hope he lived long enough for his wife to collect the full lump sum value of his pension, instead of the ESOP (Employee Stock Ownership Plan) value that he would have received had he died before taking the pension.

All too soon, it was time to go.  DCD had to make it home (with at his Mom's house), and I had to go and get my second Covid-19 booster shot.  The last time I was at the Yonkers Armory, one had to have an appointment for a Covid shot and the place was filled with people on line for their shots, or waiting for their 15 minute observation period to end.  Today, the place was mostly empty.  Hopefully, we won't need the place for a 3rd round of booster shots....

Sometimes, I find people amazing. Today was one of these days.

Without mentioning names, someone from my past called me today.  No, it was not an ex of any type.  Instead, it was someone who dropped out of contact for reasons connected to exes of one sort or another.

Chatting with this acquaintance reminded me of why I found chatting with this person to be awkward.  This person is not that sensitive to social cues, and one has to perform abrupt conversational breaks to get words in edgewise.  But I wonder why this person came out of the woodwork now.  And I have my guesses that I won't publish here.

- - - - - -

I got to exchange messages with the 3 women I've dated recently.  Let's call them #1, #2, and #3 for now.  I've dated #1 several times, and she has commented on my lack of PDA.  Thinking back, I don't remember seeing my dad hold my mom's hand, and I think that's where I get part of my awkward style with women. There is one potential show stopper - she doesn't drive, and would need to use mass transit to reach me. I've dated #2 twice, and it looks like we'll get together again next week.  This is the woman who has met me while I'm presenting as female.  She's a decent woman, and I haven't detected any show stoppers - save that she has had dental problems.  Lastly, I dated #3 once, and she would normally have the most promise in a world where I were not transgender. She's pretty goal oriented in dating me (for lack of a better expression) and I think she might be OK when finding out about my nature.

- - - - - -

This week, I've been going to work in the evening, taking Friday off to take TCL to the hospital for a minor procedure.  While at work, I had the chance to chat with one of my coworkers, and she mentioned the possibility of working from home with the folks from her primary job.  Would I be interested?  Probably.  But it's all a matter of how much work I want to do.  And therein lies the question - how much work do I really want to do?

While at the office, I decided to take a break and go outside to connect with my friends in Texas.  I haven't been able to participate in the Zoom meetup for a while, and figured that things were slow enough to spend 15 minutes chatting with the group.  And, of course, I was in rare form.  Too bad that one woman I dated could never see this side of me bloom.

I figure that my current publishing schedule works for me right now.  No longer do I need to rush to the computer to write my daily posts - I know that my most recent ex was a little peeved at me spending as much time as I did near a computer.  And I'll bet that whoever is next in my life will want to be a little more touchy-feely than I was in my prior relationships.  (This is one of woman #1's complaints she voiced to me this morning.)  So, cutting back on blog posts may be an inexpensive part of the price I have to pay to have a better relationship than I had for the past few years.

- - - - - -

As much as I find people strange, I accept most people for what they are - flawed, and a little insane - just like me.  I miss a few of the people who have passed through my life. But I don't miss the "Sturm und Drang" that I had to deal with to get to this point in life.