Travel Issues

 

One of the problems with being a non-op TG traveler is that one's legal ID conflicts with their gender presentation.  That has been true in my case in my flights to Hawaii, California and Chicago, as well as my cruises from Honolulu, Los Angeles, and New York. For the most part, this has not been a problem for me, as I make sure to never visit places in which a non conforming gender presentation could get one into trouble.  Yet, I have visited ports as Mario that I'd never visit as Marian due to cultural issues in these places.  So, I choose to be careful whenever I travel.

Recently, I took a cruise from Southampton, UK to Norway and Belgium and did not have any problems in transit.  The only places that seemed to care about my ID were the airports, as US and UK security need to insure the public that flying is as safe as can be.  However, that means that I have to double and triple check rules and regulations whenever I travel as Marian.

One of my dreams is to sail home on the Queen Mary 2 as Marian.  This will mean that I have to double and triple check all UK and US requirements for entry/reentry long before I schedule this trip.  If a woman can wear a dress, then why can't I?  If I were a cisgender female this would not be a problem at all.  But there are many traditional people who see bi-gendered people like me as an anathema.  They fear what we represent, and would rather destroy us to preserve their view of the world, than to tolerate us and leave some questions unanswered.

Sooner or later, I will likely make the effort to change my name to the familiar form of my name which can be used by both genders.  And then, I will likely get a new photo on all picture ID which has me wearing an androgynous hairpiece, so that presenting this ID in male or female modes will not cause people to bat an eyelash.  But the big problem would be when/if I undergo partial facial feminization surgery, so that I look male without a wig, and female while wearing one.  This way, I can much more easily traverse the divide between male and female when desired.

Until then, I'll have to play it ultra cautious, as I don't want to be caught in the wrong place at the wrong time....

An early dinner with a friend

 

Last night, I mentioned to Pat that I wish I could have been born a cisgender female who looked like this when younger.  If I were younger and in better health, I'd consider plastic surgery to make my face look more like this.  Today, I had lunch with a friend who has no idea that I am not a cisgender female.

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MAR is 36 years old, and doesn't have a good career.  I'm not really sure of how she got her bachelor's degree, as I think that this must have been a struggle for her.  But I digress.   

We met at the local pizzeria around 5:00 pm, just as the Trump verdicts were coming in.  The conversation we had was pleasant, focusing on things like getting a new job.  The last time we met, I mentioned that New York State was on a hiring spree, and that she should take the civil service tests to try to get a job with benefits.  Did she do this?  No.  So, I mentioned that the post office is looking for people and that she should apply at their open house to be held next week.  Do I think she'll do this?  Probably not.  But one can hope.

Before we left the restaurant, the waiter took $100 in $20's from us, and we asked for change of the extra $20.  He thought we had given him $80, and got confused.  Luckily, this didn't become a problem for us, as he gave us $20 from his own pocket - from which we gave him $15 back in a tip.

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My next destination was to Yonkers to pick up the lost earring - the hostess of game night found it, and was ready for me when I got there.  Sadly "Murder Mouth" (as she calls her dog - it can't be trusted around visitors) wouldn't relax, and that meant I couldn't stay and chat.  So, it was back home for the evening and to the basket of laundry that needed folding....