Dresses - I love to wear them, but I have way too many of them.

 

Ever since I was little, I was envious of the women in the movies, as they could wear long, flowing dresses and no one would think strangely of them.  My TV was capable of showing Black & White images, while most of the movies on TV then were Monochrome films.  The aspect ratio of both the TV and the images on film were 4x5, and that was good enough for me.

As I grew older, I never grew out of the wish to wear dresses as part of my everyday life, and take on a woman's role.  No, I did not fancy myself being with a man.  The subconscious image I had of myself was a large, but attractive woman - sort of the woman my wife was when I married her.  Although my wife knew of my interest in wearing women's clothes, the only time she said NO to it was on our wedding night.  Too bad she couldn't have seen me now.  But then, would I have crossed one bridge too far?

Over the past 10+ years, I have built up a large feminine wardrobe, most of the garments being dresses. Several times, I've gotten to the point where I have to prune the contents of my closet to make way for new garments.  And another round of pruning will be coming up soon.  My only question will be: which garments will I be pruning?

If you were to look at my closet, I probably have more dresses than I could wear in a month.  Couple this with the contents of my storage containers, and I could fill up another donation bag with clothes that will go to charity.  Although I do not like wearing trouser like garments, I still have those I wore to the imaging firm I worked at between 2022 and 2023.  Will I get rid of them (and the tops I wore with them)?  Probably not.  I still want to blend in with as many cisgender females as possible.  But I will cull the cheap stuff from my closet while I replace it with better quality clothing.

Unlike most transgender people, I have had the luxury of buying new garments and upgrading them over time.  I have also had enough room (and privacy) to store my female clothes without having to hide them away from a wife, family, or friends. And most of all, I have a girlfriend (I should say, partner) who has no problems with me presenting as Marian.

Now if only I could get her comfortable with me having breasts of my own....

Travel Issues

 

One of the problems with being a non-op TG traveler is that one's legal ID conflicts with their gender presentation.  That has been true in my case in my flights to Hawaii, California and Chicago, as well as my cruises from Honolulu, Los Angeles, and New York. For the most part, this has not been a problem for me, as I make sure to never visit places in which a non conforming gender presentation could get one into trouble.  Yet, I have visited ports as Mario that I'd never visit as Marian due to cultural issues in these places.  So, I choose to be careful whenever I travel.

Recently, I took a cruise from Southampton, UK to Norway and Belgium and did not have any problems in transit.  The only places that seemed to care about my ID were the airports, as US and UK security need to insure the public that flying is as safe as can be.  However, that means that I have to double and triple check rules and regulations whenever I travel as Marian.

One of my dreams is to sail home on the Queen Mary 2 as Marian.  This will mean that I have to double and triple check all UK and US requirements for entry/reentry long before I schedule this trip.  If a woman can wear a dress, then why can't I?  If I were a cisgender female this would not be a problem at all.  But there are many traditional people who see bi-gendered people like me as an anathema.  They fear what we represent, and would rather destroy us to preserve their view of the world, than to tolerate us and leave some questions unanswered.

Sooner or later, I will likely make the effort to change my name to the familiar form of my name which can be used by both genders.  And then, I will likely get a new photo on all picture ID which has me wearing an androgynous hairpiece, so that presenting this ID in male or female modes will not cause people to bat an eyelash.  But the big problem would be when/if I undergo partial facial feminization surgery, so that I look male without a wig, and female while wearing one.  This way, I can much more easily traverse the divide between male and female when desired.

Until then, I'll have to play it ultra cautious, as I don't want to be caught in the wrong place at the wrong time....

An early dinner with a friend

 

Last night, I mentioned to Pat that I wish I could have been born a cisgender female who looked like this when younger.  If I were younger and in better health, I'd consider plastic surgery to make my face look more like this.  Today, I had lunch with a friend who has no idea that I am not a cisgender female.

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MAR is 36 years old, and doesn't have a good career.  I'm not really sure of how she got her bachelor's degree, as I think that this must have been a struggle for her.  But I digress.   

We met at the local pizzeria around 5:00 pm, just as the Trump verdicts were coming in.  The conversation we had was pleasant, focusing on things like getting a new job.  The last time we met, I mentioned that New York State was on a hiring spree, and that she should take the civil service tests to try to get a job with benefits.  Did she do this?  No.  So, I mentioned that the post office is looking for people and that she should apply at their open house to be held next week.  Do I think she'll do this?  Probably not.  But one can hope.

Before we left the restaurant, the waiter took $100 in $20's from us, and we asked for change of the extra $20.  He thought we had given him $80, and got confused.  Luckily, this didn't become a problem for us, as he gave us $20 from his own pocket - from which we gave him $15 back in a tip.

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My next destination was to Yonkers to pick up the lost earring - the hostess of game night found it, and was ready for me when I got there.  Sadly "Murder Mouth" (as she calls her dog - it can't be trusted around visitors) wouldn't relax, and that meant I couldn't stay and chat.  So, it was back home for the evening and to the basket of laundry that needed folding....